Just our luck to live in a town where the mayor is allergic to shade.
Definition: (adjective) Affording or forming shade.
Synonyms: shadowed, shady
Usage: The chief beauty of trees consists in the deep shadow of their umbrageous boughs.
Chainsaws aren't my idea of kink, but different strokes and all. I suppose they do vibrate.
Following are posts about the awesomesauce Market Street median beautification project, which will result in trees falling on the north side of Market between Pearl and State, and don't forget: when your eyes bulge and your hair curls, and you think to yourself, "OMG this is tacky," you're actually insulting an engineer who knows quite a bit more than you (because money is to control what acorns are to oaks).