Surely not since the founding Scribners set out to clear land for the civic forerunner of present-day New Gahania have so many trees fallen as during the reign of Jeffrey I.
He insists more trees have been planted than cut, though the documentary evidence of such remains hidden safely within the labyrinthic bowels of Lawyer Gibson's Information Protection Program.
Witness the information I asked of the Tree Board in April of 2016. Sixteen months later it presumably reposes on a shelf in Gibson's bookless study, gathering dust, right there next to the remaining Bicentennial coffee table tomes that Bob Caesar insists were sold out to an eager public at $50 a pop, later to be handed out like lollipops at ribbon cuttings even as Caesar and associates denies the existence of any records pertaining to the Bicentennial Commission's activities.
Our last comprehensive survey of Gahan's urban canopy impotence came on March 7 of this year.
ASK THE BORED: You can't always get tree stumps zapped when you want, but if you're a V.I.P. -- well, you get what you need.
(Always) bear in mind that even as Jeff Gahan's "parks and recreation" fetish -- which always was more about power than production -- has occupied a disproportionate place in his agenda, hundreds of trees outside the boundaries of his suburban-flavored parks have fallen. Some were dead, others living.
A huge number were brought down for the noble cause of making a Greenway auto-friendly.
During a time of enhanced urban heat island effect, and as the mayor plays his oblivious daily shell game about "walk-ability," which can be translated as "drive-ability," seeing as he hasn't once grasped what it really means, these (shade) trees generally have not been replanted until the cost can be shifted elsewhere, as with grandiose street reconstruction projects financed by the federal government.
In short, under Gahan, the urban tree canopy has received far more contempt than scant attention.
Naturally, with mayor pattern baldness now prevalent throughout the city, the time has come to unleash the propaganda commissariat to issue stirring declarations of victory amid the stumps.
City Receives Grant for Tree Inventory to Promote Long-Term Urban Canopy Strategy
In January of 2017, the City of New Albany received a $20,000 matching grant from the Indiana Department of Natural Resources, Division of Forestry, as part of the 2016 Community and Urban Forestry Assistance grant project.
Meanwhile, proof again that books don't line any of their shelves.
Scientists Discover Yet Another Reason Cities Need More Trees, by Katharine Schwab (Co.Design)
Using a computer model, scientists quantified how trees impact local weather and save energy.
Trees make neighborhoods look beautiful and feel safe. They can also play a key role in reducing the impact of wind in cities.
That might seem inconsequential at first. But wind can affect things like humidity, temperature, how pleasant it is to walk around outside, and even the pressure gradient between the interior and exterior of buildings. When there’s a larger gradient, more air from outside will enter a building through small gaps and openings, requiring greater energy consumption to heat or cool the building. Researchers from the University of British Columbia created a computer model showing that when there are no trees in a neighborhood, that pressure gradient goes up by a factor of four. Because wind pressure can be the root cause for about a third of a building’s energy consumption, the finding means that if there are no trees around, the cost to maintain a building’s temperature can rise. The researchers estimate that trees in the Vancouver neighborhood they modeled save 15% on your energy bill in the summer and 10% in the winter.
Here's your bibliography.
Got any readers down there in the Down Low Bunker?
A SELECTION OF PREVIOUS ARTICLES
ASK THE BORED: Years and years later, finally those stumps in the verge have been pulped.