Last Monday, less than 24 hours before the scandal-plagued Jeff Gahan's Super Tuesday vote-buying extravaganza allowed Dan "Tulips or Two Lips" Coffey to play-act as the face of historic preservation in New Albany, Coffey was doing the mayor's bidding in council, gleefully riding point in an effort to slow a litter ordinance that Gahan reasoned would make the mayor appear diminished in the face of activism from a Republican (in this instance, Al Knable).
The ordinance passed with only Coffey dissenting, but the debate had the curious effect of opening the James Stockdale Memorial Window of Existential Confusion, through which Knable's accidental colleague David Aebersold swan-dove.
Aebersold became bizarrely fixated on two questions, which he kept repeating aloud as though disoriented, referring constantly to "they," which remained undefined, although in this context it functions similarly to the cartoonist Bil Keane's famous "Not Me" and "Ida Know" phantoms:
1. How can we pass laws not knowing if "they" will enforce them?
2. I'd like to know what "they" think before we vote a third time on an ordinance we approved 9-0 the first two times.
Well, David, seeing as you're a Republican, one thing you might do to enhance enforcement is spend time every day making the point to New Albany voters that your legislative body has handed Team Gahan a clean-up tool, and consequently, it's up to Team Gahan's executive branch to use it -- and if "they" don't, there'll be electoral ramifications.
In the case of littering, you might find quite a few Democrats inclined to agree with you.
As for what "they" think about ordinances and enforcement, David, you had two and a half weeks following the first two readings to hoist your bulk from the chair and go ask them. If their answers don't measure up, then see my comments preceding; rally your own team, and hold Team Gahan's feet to the proverbial fire.
I know. It means you'll have to show some initiative and put forth a modicum of effort. Sorry about that, but ironically, had Jeff Gahan not placed a premium on kneecapping his fellow party member John Gonder (and dragging Shirley Baird down with him) in 2015, it's doubtful you'd have been elected to an at-large council seat in the first place.
Might as well make lemonade from these lemons, David. Independents like me might even help you. You have a bit of power, so use it.
New Albany City Council approves tougher litter law, by Erin Walden (Religion Columnists Multiply Like Rabbits)
Council debates completeness and feasibility of "core" bill before passing
NEW ALBANY — After debate among officials regarding the completeness and feasibility of a proposed litter ordinance, the New Albany City Council officially approved a new law that will impose harsher fines on litterbugs in the city.
The final reading of the ordinance passed 7-1 during Monday night's meeting, with councilman Dan Coffey voting against the ordinance. Councilman Scott Blair was absent during that portion of the meeting.
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