Monday, November 28, 2005

UPDATED: Hey, Concern Taxpayer, grab your Kodak Brownie and join NAC for an earthshaking historical moment.

I’ve been waiting a long time to return to this story, so bear with me.

Way back in early May, the cowardly, hooded, and profoundly ungrammatical troglodyte calling him/her/itself Concern Taxpayer told a lie about me, falsely alleging that prior to a City-Council meeting, he/she/it saw me emerge from Mayor Garner’s office in the company of a prominent local bookseller.

Excuse me "Roger"- who was the two men walking out of Mayor Garner's office on Monday night before City Council Meeting. None other than you Mr. Baylor and your side kick "Kojak". (he must of ran outta lolly pops).

To no one’s surprise, it was a blatant and baseless fib, and one that Congeal Taxpayer never bothered to correct, even after I responded to his/her/its challenge and disproved the mistruth in writing, concluding:

Just as plagiarism is an abuse of the responsibility that accompanies free speech, so is lying, and by the terms of your challenge, I’ve proven that you lied.

Since then, Confound Taxpayer has surfaced periodically at the lunatic periphery of the Luddite Bar & Grill’s potty-fixated spitwad blogyard, generally infuriated at his/her/its inability to emulate the fictional John Galt by stopping the motor of New Albany’s world, his/her/its purple veins bulging, spouting monochromatic nonsense, regurgitating invented half-truths and perpetuating spiteful innuendo, and pursuing his/her/its series of vendettas of the millisecond with the illiterate fury of raw insignificance scorned.

Well, Contour Taxpayer, today is your lucky day.

As of Monday morning, November 28 at 8:00 a.m., I finally will have entered the Mayor’s office – not just strolled past it or gazed into it through the plate glass window, but actually walked through the doorway, which quite correctly implies that, yes, alert trogarazzi like yourself finally will have the chance to see me “walking out” of it.

Of course, Confuse Taxpayer, my much belated inaugural trip to the Mayor’s office doesn’t change the fact that you’re as much of a liar today as you were when you invented the previous non-factual account of the visit I never made, but because I intend to take pictures of the blessed event, I’ll send you a copy suitable for framing, and you can hang it alongside your autographed lyrics of “Trog Sham(an)’s Blues.”

By the way, if you send me one of your crayons, I’ll sign it -- at no extra charge.

I know exactly what you’re thinking, Conceal Taxpayer: Why am I carrying my quadruple espresso into the Mayor’s office so early on a Monday morning?

I suppose I could tell you, but knowing how much you enjoy inventing facts of your own … well, by golly, feel free to lie yet again to your little people’s heart’s content and just make it up out of whole cloth.

Monday morning photo update:

Here's the panoramic view from the Inner Sanctum, looking out into the famous hallway where Trog Sham lurks during City Council meetings, cupping her ears to the glass, hoping for a wee scrap of information to misinterpret.


(Pssst ... don't tell Combust Taxpayer, but I didn't actually exit from this door. I reentered the hallway from the Sewer Department door ... hee hee).

Previously:
Hiding your lying eyes: CONCERN TAXPAYER, this one's for you.

Classic quotes from the Luddite urinal "Dead Pee Scrolls":
"Then Shame On Every Damn One Of Us!" ... Concern Taxpayer, 6:06 AM, September 16, 2005.

1 comment:

The New Albanian said...

These were not offered.

I want a refund.