Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Guest columnist Nick Vaughn airs his grievances for Festivus.


I've asked Nick, and I'll be asking a few others, to consider writing columns for NA Confidential on a regular basis. If you're reading this and think you may have what it takes -- the few, the proud, the terminally splenetic -- then get in touch and we'll talk. 

Thanks to Nick for this 

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Happy Festivus!

As many of you may or may not know, Festivus is a parody and secular holiday where the airing of grievances is commonplace and highly encouraged. Festivus first appeared in 1997 on the popular show Seinfeld. While there is a little more to Festivus, I will just be participating in the airing of grievances (because if everyone else can pick and choose, so can I).

1. Six votes is a tough pill to swallow. While I maintain that I absolutely loved the experience, I can't help but think the District 6 race would have ended a little differently if I had gotten through the primary. Maybe that's just my youthful inexperience talking (although I never made that an issue of my campaign).

2. Polling has really let the country down this year. First in Kentucky where Matt Bevin was projected to lose to the illustrious Jack Conway and then in the New Albany Mayoral Race. My faith in polling has fallen lower than my trust for gas station sushi.

3. Speaking of the Mayoral Race, can you believe Gahan was re-elected? I mean, I know we have a water park. Well, that's about it, I know we have a water park. Anyone know the protocol for a recall?

4. This one really isn't much of a grievance seeing as watching the opposition party fade away bodes well for the future of my party here in Floyd County. Nevertheless, I am going to complain about the systematic degradation of the Floyd County Democratic Party. I just remember the good ole days when the Democrats stood for something and I'm not saying they don't nationally (albeit I disagree with the vast majority of it), but here locally in Floyd County they have lost their way. I hope they find their way, I mean not really, but in the competitive spirit I hope they find their way (but they don’t have to, like, it's just a suggestion).

5. Now I'm getting into the gritty grievances. I thought it was just so nice for the city to “allow” the Republican City Councilmen (Al Knable, David Barksdale, and Dave Aebersold) to be sworn in at the over¬the¬top, brought to you by Mayor Jeff M. Gahan, Jingle Walk/Street Piano/Where You Should Be, City of New Albany Swearing in Ceremony. Almost made me forget about the hundreds of millions of debt, misuse of TIF, and lack of transparency.

Almost.

6. Remember the Street Piano? Mrs. Gahan wishes you would forget. After the multi-month long fight with The Board of Works, my teacher, Hannegan Roseberry finally saw her vision of a street piano come to fruition in a beautiful ceremony at the piano’s home (although I think it has gone into retirement) in front of proud Gahan supporter, Jimmy of Jimmy’s Music Center.

7. We often hear about “leading from behind” in national politics as it is a big conservative talking point. But what do we call Gahan’s leadership? It's not so much leading from behind as it is not leading at all. I hope that his New Year’s resolution will be to take less vacations and attend at least 1 City Council meeting this coming year.

8. In such cases like the Jingle Walk and the Halloween Trunk or Treat (brought to you by Mayor Jeff M. Gahan and Mayor Jeff M. Gahan, respectively) the City subjected us to a “rain or shine” policy. This only further proves Gahan’s lack of leadership seeing as he hasn't yet learned how to control the weather. Oh no, I've given him a new idea. I can see it now: “Today we are looking at 73 degrees, sunny, a nice calm breeze coming from the southwest all brought to you by Mayor Jeff M. Gahan.”

9. The difference between a city logo and city seal should be the topic of conversation in the coming 4 years. It is something that just needs to be discussed after the fiasco in the City Council Chamber where Dan Coffey expressed his approval since the steamboat Robert E. Lee is inherently racist while Scott Blair just asked for clarification. I hope he leads the effort on defining the difference.

10. Lastly, I’d like to point out the fact I was not on Roger’s list for “New Albany Person of the Year.” Probably just goes back to my youthful inexperience, although I could have sworn he said he wouldn't make that an issue of the campaign. What? That was Reagan? Oh, I get the two confused sometimes.

Happy Holidays all! I hope the New Year brings you all success and prosperity. A huge thank you to Roger for letting me air my grievances on his blog! I'm hoping to get some new routine down for more content on a consistent basis. To all those I mentioned, I hope you find the humor in this and will be good sports. At the end of the day we all love New Albany and want it to succeed!

Cheap Trick's Bun E. Carlos on limbo, lawyers and friendships.

Photo credit

Yes, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ultimately stands as the epitome of First World meaninglessness.

At the same time, when three of your favorite bands are to be inducted in one sweeping act of vindication, it's at least worth a brief self-congratulatory grin. I've been a fan of Deep Purple and Chicago since junior high school, and Cheap Trick came along only shortly thereafter. Their music brings me pleasure; so be it.

Each of these three bands has survived the ephemeral ups and downs of the marketplace, and remain working musical entities. For fans, it's all about the music, but more pointedly, for working musicians, it's about dollars and cents. As with any other business, workers come and go, and often their decisions have to do with money and personalities, not art.

Unsurprisingly, there is an interesting back story for each in the context of personnel. Deep Purple's Ian Paice fears fisticuffs might erupt between present and former band members if they were to share a stage.

Everyone wants to know whether Peter Cetera will reunite with Chicago, but what about original drummer Danny Seraphine, who was fired a quarter century ago, and later wrote a tell-all book about the experience?

And then there's Cheap Trick, three members of which evidently attempted to dump drummer Bun E. Carlos in 2010. After legal wranglings, Carlos remains a partner in the business operation, but is blockaded from performing live with the band. He's in a curious sort of limbo, though at least the checks are still being cut -- after the lawsuit was filed.

When he asks for financial information, does he receive it? Do they forward his snail mail? Have they blocked his e-mail?

Interesting. Very interesting. I have absolutely no idea why, although there is a certain melancholy attached to a statement like this:

"Any friendship we had went away when I had to file a federal lawsuit. That cost a bucket of fucking money. Going after these guys wasn't pleasant. The friendship sort of frittered away there."

Cheap Trick's Bun E. Carlos on Possible Rock Hall Reunion, by Andy Greene (Rolling Stone)

 ... We just drew up a contract that said, "I don't tour with the band, but I'm a full member of the band." We've got all these corporations. The touring company said, "If you quit touring, you lose your vote." I wasn't going to let that happen. I'm a full member of the band. So we drew up a piece of paper, and a couple years later the check stopped coming. I met with Scott Borchetta — that was something special. And then I had to sue them in federal court to get my money back. We did a settlement last spring and its all hunky dory. That's the short story.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Now what? The "Subdivision Christmas Village" is no longer in stock.


It's a very clever pitch for donations from Smart Growth America, which suggest the "Walkable Downtown Christmas Village" is by far the better selling item.

Just try telling it to the knuckleheads hereabouts.

Smart Growth America advocates for people who want to live and work in great neighborhoods. We believe smart growth solutions support thriving businesses and jobs, provide more options for how people get around and make it more affordable to live near work and the grocery store. Our coalition works with communities to fight sprawl and save money. We are making America’s neighborhoods great together.

Making Communities Work for Everyone
At the heart of the American dream is the simple hope that each of us can choose to live in a neighborhood that’s beautiful, affordable, and easy to get around. We want to create healthy communities with strong local businesses, schools and shops nearby, transportation options and jobs that pay well.

Americans want to make their neighborhoods great, and smart growth strategies help make that dream a reality. Smart growth is about creating local jobs and protecting the environment. It is about being able to safely walk to a park close by. It is about spending less time in traffic and more time doing what’s important to you.

Smart Investments and Common Sense SolutionsSmart Growth America is the only national organization dedicated to researching, advocating for and leading coalitions to bring smart growth practices to more communities nationwide. From providing more sidewalks so people can walk to their town center to ensuring that more homes are built near public transit or productive farms remain a part of our communities, smart growth helps make sure that people across the nation can live in great neighborhoods.

Syriza vs. the EU: #ThisIsACoup documentary, episodes 1 - 4.



It makes for somber but necessary watching.

The Nation's text is here; episode one of the video is embedded above, with links to all four parts below.

Field of Vision:

#ThisIsACoup Episode 1 | "Angela, Suck Our Balls"

#ThisIsACoup Episode 2 | To Pay or Not To Pay

#ThisIsACoup: Episode 3 | OXI - The Greek Word for 'No'

#ThisIsACoup Episode 4 | Surrender or Die

Taco Steve's menu and the bricks 'n' mortar hours of operation.


Note Taco Steve's holiday hours this week: Open Wed., Thurs. and Sat. (closed Christmas Day).

"Taco Steve is ushering in the New Year slow and steady. We'll be open Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays from 11:30 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. for dine-in or take-out. Call 812-670-6463. Always at 604 E. Spring Street, in the back of Destinations Booksellers. Cheap, Fast, and Literate."

Monday, December 21, 2015

Another street grid lesson for Jeff Gahan to ignore.


In a nutshell: Slowed speeds, improved walker safety, better access for drivers. Succinct, to the point -- and utterly beyond Team Gahan's stunted suburban-think.

New York Street to open to two-way traffic through IUPUI on Monday
(Indianapolis Business Journal)

Vehicles will be able to start driving west on New York Street through the IUPUI campus starting late Monday afternoon as the city opens the thoroughfare to two-way traffic ...

 ... "This project represents a long collaboration between major community stakeholders including IUPUI, the hospitals and our west-side neighborhoods," said Melody Park, the public works department’s chief engineer, in a statement. "This project will both increase the safety of students and pedestrians by calming traffic speeds along New York Street as well as allow motorists more direct access to their destinations on the university and hospital campuses."

Restaurant and equipment for sale in downtown NA, formerly the Frenchman's.




Tell 'em you saw it here, and maybe I'll get a finder's pint.

Frisch's Big Boy, meet landfill.


The car dealership formerly known as Frisch's Big Boy is disappearing today.

Update: By the end of the day on Monday, December 21.


Will the "Drive-In Restaurant" ordinance still on New Albany's brawny lad of a rulebook now be refashioned to apply to those craft meth dispensaries located a few yards from future luxury?

Only time will tell.

Drive-In Restaurants
§ 115.02 CERTAIN ACTS PROHIBITED ON PREMISES.
(A) No person shall race the motor of any vehicle, start or stop any vehicle suddenly without cause, squeal the tires, blow the horn or make or cause to be made any other loud or unseemly noise by any means whatsoever, while on or adjacent to the premises of a drive-in restaurant, so as to cause a nuisance. ('71 Code, §110.02)

Here's how the Frisch's looked 50 years ago, when it was being built.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Top posts at NA Confidential for 2015, Part Three: Top 10 for 2015.

With two posts in the year's Top 10, we honor Stephen Powell, aka Taco Steve.

NA Confidential's top posts for 2015 are divided into three lists: January through June, and July through December, to be followed by one final accounting of the Top Ten.

This is Part Three, and the Top 10 for the year. Beginning with the fewest and ending with the most, these rankings are determined by numbers of unique hits, as reported by Blogger.

Half of them pertain to food and dining in New Albany. None directly address the municipal election. Perhaps these observations are intended to tell us something.

On January 1, NA Confidential begins its 13th year of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. Thanks for reading.

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TOP TEN FOR 2015

614 08/08/2015

Stephen "Taco Steve" Powell, his taco cart, and downtown New Albany.


621 04/20/15

News release: "Greenville Concerned Citizens, Inc. (has) voted to oppose the upcoming $80 million school bond referendum."


632 07/31/2015

ON THE AVENUES: Homegrown New Albany, but not in a good way.


688 06/02/2015

Dan Coffey's homophobic council tantrum: The Video.


708 03/10/2015

A bit more about ongoing changes at Bank Street Brewhouse.


711 11/23/2015

We welcome Staggers, Morris and the Gospel Bird with open arms and our senseless one-way streets.


729 01/10/2015

Pillsbury: Is General Mills being honest?


769 12/13/2015

Taco Steve's storefront is coming.


1,290 02/03/2015

Amanda Beam's column about human trafficking and the sex trade, and Kevin Zurschmiede's spa denial.


1,669 12/15/2015

Jaws will drop: A walk-through at Brooklyn & the Butcher.

Top posts at NA Confidential for 2015, Part Two: Top 30, July through December.

Our top post during the final six months of 2015? Scroll down.

NA Confidential's top posts for 2015 are divided into three lists: January through June, and July through December, to be followed by one final accounting of the Top Ten.

This is Part Two, Top 30, July through December.

Beginning with the fewest and ending with the most, these rankings are determined by numbers of unique hits, as reported by Blogger.

On January 1, NA Confidential begins its 13th year of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. Thanks for reading.

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THE FIRST 25

306 10/15/2015

ON THE AVENUES: To the New Albanians, each and every one.


314 07/23/2015

ON THE AVENUES: A citizen's eloquent complaint about the parking debacle at River Run reminds us that planners and brooms go hand in hand.


323 12/01/2015

Limp Disney.


324 12/08/2015

Happy retirement, chef: Louis le Francais has left the building.


325 07/29/2015

12-foot high street spam? Not a problem, so piss off, spammer.


328 09/17/2015

ON THE AVENUES: Dear Neighbor: If you’re tired of the same old story, turn some pages.


330 08/10/2015

Fieldhaus, Brownie's "The Shed", Over the 9, Falls City, Old 502 and what they all mean.


333 08/06/2015

ON THE AVENUES: Money is the ultimate bully.


343 11/15/2015

David Thrasher's alley cats and blockheads.


348 10/01/2015

ON THE AVENUES: No more fear, Jeff.


364 11/24/2015

The Gospel Bird is coming, so let's remember what preceded it in the Bader Building and Parthenon.


370 08/04/2015

GAHANS STRIKE BACK: Street piano approved but the social media fur begins to fly.


378 07/19/2015

Ever the team player, Tiger Trucking beautifies the entrance to Loop Island Wetlands.


379 11/25/2015

BREAKING: New Albany’s Mayor Jeff Gahan announces refugee acceptance program, effective immediately.


383 08/14/2015

ON THE AVENUES: It’s time to purge two-party politics and tie the community together.


385 09/03/2015

ON THE AVENUES: When even Mitt Romney can run to the left of New Albany’s Democrats, it's a very big problem.


390 10/10/2015

Eminent domain? Is an Ohio River marina yet another Gahan expenditure on the down low?


393 08/25/2015

Crazed ragpicker poses as city employee, makes terroristic threats to laughing-out-loud store owner.


407 12/10/2015

As the Gospel Bird build-out nears completion, the restaurant now is a Morris solo gig with Ethan Ray as acting executive chef.


421 07/30/2015

Pavement penis drawings: Where public art, pothole repairs and bureaucrats meet.


463 08/02/2015

Mayor Gahan announces compromise street piano measure.


490 09/03/2015

In letter, Gahan confirms intent to snub Leadership Southern Indiana and bypass LSI's mayoral debate (includes my return letter).


579 08/23/2015

Let's go Krogering?: Does CM Blair's fixation with a boarded-up Hardee's have to do with gas pumps and corporate welfare?


583 08/19/2015

A future mayor? An ex-brewery owner? 30 years later, there's another fork in the road, and I'm pumped.


608 10/02/2015

Me? I just want to walk the parade route tomorrow.


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TOP FIVE, JULY THROUGH DECEMBER

614 08/08/2015

Stephen "Taco Steve" Powell, his taco cart, and downtown New Albany.


632 07/31/2015

ON THE AVENUES: Homegrown New Albany, but not in a good way.


711 11/23/2015

We welcome Staggers, Morris and the Gospel Bird with open arms and our senseless one-way streets.


769 12/13/2015

Taco Steve's storefront is coming.


1,669 12/15/2015

Jaws will drop: A walk-through at Brooklyn & the Butcher.

Top posts at NA Confidential for 2015, Part One: Top 30, January through June.

Our top post during the first six months of 2015? Scroll down.

NA Confidential's top posts for 2015 are divided into three lists: January through June, and July through December, to be followed by one final accounting of the Top Ten.

This is Part One, Top 30, January through June.

Beginning with the fewest and ending with the most, these rankings are determined by numbers of unique hits, as reported by Blogger.

On January 1, NA Confidential begins its 13th year of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. Thanks for reading.

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THE FIRST 25

305 04/27/2015

Keith Olbermann explains why you should boycott the NFL Draft and Mayweather-Pacquiao.


306 (tie) 04/14/2015

Break out the Bud Light, because the Sanctioned Monument to the Glorious Usual Heroes of the Bicentennial Park Cash Unlimited Uprising is scheduled for unveiling soon.


306 (tie) 06/02/2015

Longtime homophobe Coffey offers heartfelt prayer for his "lying piece of (expletive)" colleague.


309 (tie) 04/30/2015

Stella Artois still sucks, and it has nothing whatever to do with Kentucky Derby traditions.


309 (tie) 02/03/2015

Drinking Progressively returns this evening: 6:00 p.m. at Bank Street Brewhouse.


310 (tie) 03/09/2015

The art of redistributive campaign finance: 1st class passengers in the Gravy Train kick the juice right back to Jeff Gahan.


310 (tie) 06/11/2015

ON THE AVENUES: This is Dan Coffey, New Albany’s quintessential Democrat.


312 06/26/2015

This one's worth a good joyful, soulful cry.


313 04/25/2015

4 days later: CM Phipps, can you show us where Mayor Gahan said or wrote this for attribution?


328 04/19/2015

It's the hologram, Adam: Jeff Gahan's refusal to debate David White insults New Albany voters.


334 04/21/2015

David White wants all NA merchants assured of being harmed by Padgett's lawsuit to attend a David White party at Padgett.


346 03/24/2015

Colokial and Dress and Dwell both will get bigger.


354 01/31/2015

Mayoral candidacy announcements and scenic vistas.


355 04/25/2015

"I Dig the Hustings" by Jeff Gahan and the Deaf Aids. Phase one, in which Doris gets her boasts.


363 06/20/2015

Gone fishing.


377 06/27/2015

Dan Coffey's official statement on prayer, parks and water sports.


387 01/06/2015

Here is a link to the draft version of Jeff's Speck's Downtown Street Network Proposal for New Albany.


391 03/24/2015

What they're saying: Al Knable on possible wetlands expansion; also, Diane Benedetti and David White.


401 05/20/2015

PourGate 2013: It took two years, but this new law silences Dr. Tom Harris and the Floyd County Health Department.


411 05/27/2015

Who knew the Hooters in Clarksville is connected to New Albany sewers?


420 04/26/2015

There oughta be a law against yard signs this big.


439 05/25/2015

Memorial Day.


459 05/26/2015

Mayor Jeff Gahan Presents: "Those stupid neighborhood splash pads you keep bugging me about."


498 04/16/2015

BREAKING: Padgett, Tiger, EM Cummings Veneer, et al, are suing City Hall over the Main Street dishevelment project.


600 02/26/2015

Media notice: Roger A. Baylor will take a leave of absence from NABC to run for mayor of New Albany.


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TOP FIVE, JANUARY THROUGH JUNE

621 04/20/15

News release: "Greenville Concerned Citizens, Inc. (has) voted to oppose the upcoming $80 million school bond referendum."


688 06/02/2015

Dan Coffey's homophobic council tantrum: The Video.


708 03/10/2015

A bit more about ongoing changes at Bank Street Brewhouse.


729 01/10/2015

Pillsbury: Is General Mills being honest?


1,290 02/03/2015

Amanda Beam's column about human trafficking and the sex trade, and Kevin Zurschmiede's spa denial.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Here's the ballot for New Albany's "Person of the Year" in 2015.


Previously, we explained it:

ON THE AVENUES: Who (or what) is New Albany's "Person of the Year" for 2015?

A person, couple, group, idea, place, or machine that "for better or for worse ... has done the most to influence the events of the year."

Now we've narrowed the list, and here are the contestants for 2015.

Jeff Coffey and/or Dan Gahan ... not since the 1939 non-aggression pact have two chummy leaders combined to exert such consistent influence on a captive city.

"Quality of life" projects ... Striking, isn't it? Nowadays it's "my doggie needs a spray park," and not, "I need a real job."

New Albany property tax payers ... because they're ones actually paying (TIF-ing) for all of Dan Gahan's big-ticket "quality of life" projects.

The New Albany Street Piano ... Music has charms to soothe a savage breast, but as Jeff Coffey's Bored of Works showed, tone deafness is like Kryptonite when art's on the agenda.

Al Knable ... he came out of nowhere to record the highest vote total in the Republican at-large council race.

Make your choice in comments here, at Fb, or through e-mail: roger@newalbanian.com ... vote early, and often, and try not to drink too much while doing so.

Merciful closure for 1Si as three (!) Indiana Regional Cities Initiative lottery winners are announced.


File under: "For the record."

The regions identified below have as their hubs the cities of Evansville, South Bend and Ft. Wayne, respectively.

There'll be chickens in every pot, and the wine will flow like water, or at least Bud Light Lime. Fatted calves will be rendered onto veal, etc, and so forth.

Meanwhile, there is the Break Wind Lofts at Duggins Flats.

We've got that going for us.

Pence, IEDC Put Stamp on Regional Cities Selections, by Andy Ober (Inside Indiana Business)

INDIANAPOLIS - Governor Mike Pence and the Indiana Economic Development Corp. Board of Directors have approved the Indiana Regional Cities Strategic Review Committee recommendations. As a result, the southwest, north central and northeast regions will receive funding as part of the statewide Regional Cities Initiative.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Rental property regs inelegantly tabled as bile, petulance and "ethnic cleansing" fill the air.

This meme is dedicated to Pete.

On Thursday evening, during the final city council meeting of the year, CM Greg Phipps introduced a piece of legislation dealing with rental properties, their registration and inspection.

The 30-page draft ordinance was released by the city attorney on Monday. The best possible outcome would have been for the first two readings to be approved last night, the ordinance to go into committee, and the buffed and polished final version to be considered by a brand new council some time next year.

It remains unclear from whence this ordinance came. City attorney Shane Gibson obviously wrote it. Phipps introduced it. Building Commissioner David Brewer defended it. Economic development director David Duggins watched but said nothing. Neither the mayor nor his hologram was in attendance.

Dan Coffey, who let it be know early and often that he's off the leash and ready to renegotiate his contract with the mayor, denounced the ordinance as originating elsewhere and being handed to the council without sufficient time for review.

The room was filled with rental property owners, business owners who tend to advance disingenuousness to a sublime art form, but had a very sound point: Not a word was said on the topic throughout the political campaign, and now, at the last minute, they were told of impending regulation -- something to which they're unaccustomed.

As will forever be the case when people actually attend meetings and appear angry, the council was terrified, but also had a sound point: Some of us are leaving, others staying -- so let's go watch Star Wars instead. 

When it came time for a vote, Phipps quickly threw in the towel, tabled the ordinance, and added that he'd washed his hands of the exercise; it could be someone else's baby next time. There'll be a committee to explore options, to include stakeholding property owners.

Again: Was this Phipps' idea? Gibson's? Brewer's? City Hall's? The man in the moon's? No one knows, but in the end, isn't it Jeff Gahan's idea? And shouldn't he be the one articulating it?

Oh, and during Pat Harrison's comments in opposition to these rental property regulations, which we're told might have the unfortunate effect of invading tenants' privacy (somehow the laugh track stalled at this point), she offered that the ordinance would be the "beginning" of "ethnic cleansing" in New Albany.

This might come as a surprise to people in Srebrenica or Rwanda, but then again, Pat doesn't own rental properties in those places.

Yet.

(Since the meeting didn't occur in Jeffersonville, the newspaper has not published coverage as of this writing. I'll link to it HERE when and if it occurs (9:05 a.m.)

Remember back in 2008, when Pat Harrison feared the rental inspection Gestapo?

Ignorance of history is a New Albany birthright. Last night it was ethnic cleansing, but in March of 2008, Pat Harrison saw the Gestapo lurking behind rental property registration and inspection proposals.

That's right.

Seven years of nothingness ago.

Bluegill recalls ...

One of the funniest episodes in the past 10 years of New Albany political history: When Harrison again used the term Gestapo to refer to rental property inspection at another meeting after the one I mentioned, Greg Phipps called the comparison out as offensive, given that the actual Gestapo had murdered so many people like him. Harrison thought he meant Jewish and justified it by saying she had read Anne Frank's diary. You just can't make this stuff up.

NAC's coverage at the time:

Realtor Pat Harrison namedrops "Gestapo," seeks monopoly on disingenuousness.



The latter includes a video clip. I think it was just repeated, last night. 

Thursday, December 17, 2015

ON THE AVENUES: Gin and tacos, and a maybe a doughnut, but only where feasible.

ON THE AVENUES: Gin and tacos, and a maybe a doughnut, but only where feasible.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

It was very strange.

For about two weeks after Thanksgiving, I averaged around nine hours of sleep per night.

Given that the norm is closer to six, such episodes of prolonged unconsciousness puzzled me. Exercise and food consumption were constant, and as for the drink – well, not much at all.

Come to think of it, maybe that’s the real problem. Sobriety has a dependable way of accentuating the negative, especially here in Logic Cleansing City.

Other explanations are possible. While it’s been warm outside, it’s true that winter is here, and with it the usual black dog’s visit, bearing “seasonal affective disorder” tags. Still, this is an expected annual occurrence, and surely doesn’t account for the recent outbreaks of narcolepsy.

Maybe it’s something else entirely.

Recalling the presidential election in 2000, Al Gore famously observed that you win some and you lose some – and then there’s this little known third category.

That must be it: It’s the business of residency, because there’s nothing like living in limbo to make a man sleepy.

---

In major league baseball, the period just prior to the trade deadline sometimes can be vitally important for teams needing to make personnel changes, either big or small.

A common ploy among teams looking to deal players of marginal value is to showcase them with more playing time in actual games, and kicking the public relations department into higher gear.

“Three Finger Malone’s best days might well be behind him, but he’s always been a clubhouse leader, the fans love him, and look – he went three for four just the other day. Sure, they were infield hits – but boy, wouldn’t he fit perfectly on the bench for a contending team?”

Ever since that day so long ago when David Duggins reminded me of how much money he might be making in the private sector, as opposed to his pro bono sinecure as New Albany’s economic development director, I’ve been observing his batting average.

Currently it has dipped well below the historic Mendoza Line (.200), with an entire industrial park as yet unoccupied, and job losses piling up from the likes of Pillsbury, Sonoco and Indatus.

So, it should come as any surprise that the Gahan Mum Sox has long ceased measuring Duggins’ job performance by actual statistical results, seeing as no measure of creative sabermetrics can rectify this pattern of recurring sow’s ears.

Rather, he has become the modern-day equivalent of Joe Pepitone, who compensated for diminished output on the field (off the field was another story, wink wink, nudge nudge) by looking extremely sharp during the course of consistent underachievement. No player theatrically risked career-ending injuries in diving for unattainable grounders like Joe, who “couldda made us proud.”

Perhaps this explains why Duggins lately has been the point man for virtually every other presumed “quality of life” TIFFED-up "quality of life" project apart from those actually providing pay packets to a permanent labor force, as pertains to what every other municipality in Indiana except New Albany seeks under the mysterious code word of “jobs.”

Just this week, Duggins was publicly lauded by the M. Fine assisted living reboot developer, for whom the city has done nothing (it's the state's tax credits, natch), as well as lovingly credited by another corporate bigwig receiving voluminous taxpayer largess: Flaherty and Collins, low-risk builders of the Break Wind Lofts at Duggins Flats.

Duggins also gloriously shepherded the farmers market pole barn, painstakingly measured the distance between flower pots on Main Street, and is being leashed to the future of the doggie aquatic center. In fact, he’s gotten more ink since the election than the mayor himself, and it can mean only one of two things.

First, that Duggins is Gahan’s heir presumptive, a queasy prospect alleviated somewhat by his residence outside the city’s electoral limits in Clark County, and by Paddy Mac’s dibs on the position.

Second, that he’s being showcased by the city (and its ever loyal, albeit it understaffed newspaper stenographers) as a prelude to a triumphant return to the private sector in genuinely moneyed places like River Ridge, with its intriguing natural habitat of One Southern Indiana propaganda flaks, corporate wildebeests -- and let’s not forget the eternal Bud Light Lime fountain.

That must be it: The business of irrelevancy. After all, there’s nothing quite like living in style to make a man substantive – and get him traded from the Marlins to the Yankees.

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As for me, my name is Mudd, and I’m one to talk, aren’t I?

No, really. I most certainly am one to talk – and to write, publish and disseminate. I've no plans to drop from the ranks of gadfly. The problem is that it’s a bit early to see how things will develop, and consequently, I’m inconveniently between crusades.

And to be honest, being between crusades is a big problem for me.

There is an intense emotional attachment to the things I do, major or minor. A bar-owning friend pointed to it recently, observing that for him, beer was just a part of the overall business, while with me, it was a crusade and an existential struggle. He’s right, of course. Without a revolution, I’m reduced to the indignity of clean living.

The mayoral campaign was like this, but it’s finished. Politically, I'm stymied, and if there is to be another beer-related crusade, it must wait until “The Big NABC Exit” is negotiated, which is ongoing and looks to be on track to take a while longer than I’d hoped.

I’m beginning to relate to Andrei Sakharov’s internal exile. However, I’m vaguely aware of what needs to happen. John Lennon did it when he took his five-year hiatus from the music business, tending to son Sean while Yoko shrewdly managed the money. When Sean was older, Lennon came back.

The comeback was cut short by an assassin’s bullet, but the lesson remains valuable, as such:

You’re in a different place, psychologically, and so you step away for a while and resolve to return when the pendulum has started swinging back in your direction – hopefully, on your own terms. Of course it’s easy to retreat from the world when you’re rich as Lennon, and yet there’s something to this for all of us, isn’t there?

It isn’t the same as retirement, which is predicated on a permanent detachment from work. It isn’t saying, “I’ll work no more forever.” Rather, it’s a process of regrouping, to take stock, do what one must, and then do it again when practicable.

But when it’s more than a job, and when it’s a crusade you’re looking for … then maybe it’s time to concede that the crusading urge itself is the underlying friction point in need of attention.

Lennon sang: “I just had to let it go.”

That must be it: The business of impassivity. The obvious drawback is that I’ve no idea how to achieve it. However, I must let go of something, for a little while, and let the pendulum work its way back.

Because I know it will. There'll likely be no column next Thursday; it will return on the 31st.

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Recent columns:

December 10: ON THE AVENUES: Truth, lies, music, and a trick of the Christmas tale (2015).

December 3: ON THE AVENUES: Who (or what) is New Albany's "Person of the Year" for 2015?

November 26: ON THE AVENUES: Faux thanks and reveries (The 2015 Remix).

November 19: ON THE AVENUES: Beer, farthings and that little-known third category.

November 12: ON THE AVENUES: The mayor’s race was about suburban-think versus urban-think. The wrong-think won.

November 5ON THE AVENUES: Confusion, exile, ignobility and resistance.

Smith Law LLC debuts at 611 E. Spring Street.

And perfectly positioned for books, tacos and maximum bocce.

It's our friends Brandon and John Smith, setting up shop on their own, just across the one-way arterial street from Destinations Booksellers.

Smith Law LLC at Facebook

Web site

Congratulations and good luck to the Brothers Smith.

Mayor Jeff Gahan announces a new Deputy Mayor.


On Wednesday afternoon, immediately after a group of presumed adults wearing suits donned hard hats, grasped shovels in non-calloused hands and moved dirt around the asphalt, Mayor Jeff Gahan numbly dodged a wheelchair user unable to navigate the blocked Spring Street sidewalk, and told an assembled reporter that he’s making an appointment.

“I don’t have to do this,” yelled Gahan over the noise of passing semis, “but because my administration is dedicated to the business of uniformity, there’ll be a new job called the Deputy Mayor for Neighborhoods.

“We haven’t decided yet who his council proxy will be,” mused the mayor. “Mike Hall already has a job being me at meetings.”

According to Gahan, the key to making a good hire is to pay a competitive salary (“No one will notice if we just TIF it”) and to restrict applicants to those residing outside the city limits.

“Because our goal is to import nice, tidy, germicidal designs from the suburbs to the urban core, it’s vital to have people who understand the value of white bread, if you catch my drift.”

“That nasty dark bread is awful with Velveeta.”

Gahan continued: “See, all those people who’ve never done anything positive for this city talk about the urban books they’ve read, and how other urban places do it better – I mean look, Sellersburg’s a great model for New Albany, and it’s just up the highway.”

Gahan wants his suburban supporters to help him select the perfect Deputy Mayor for Neighborhoods.

“We’re going to have a Facebook contest, and as long as you don’t live in an apartment, you can vote for your favorite – anyone you want so long as it’s Shane or Duggins.”

Somewhere on 5th Street, a dog barked.

“We’ll put all the names in a hat and have a drawing, and first place gets a year’s pass to River Runs Water Park.”

Gahan paused.

“And second place gets two years.”

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Luke Kelly's last performance, 1983.



In December, 1983, the gravely ill Luke Kelly appeared for the last time with the Dubliners, in a performance shown on Irish television. Kelly died of a brain tumor in January, 1984. The group continued to work until 2012, when it disbanded after the last surviving original member passed away.

The lovely song itself, with opening lines that seem to presage the singer's imminent departure, is a composite of several "night visiting" songs -- not from Ireland, but Scotland. Turns out Kelly's grandmother was a MacDonald. Truly, we never know where the music will take us.

For the past week, I've been listening to Dubliners songs, watching the group's performances and absorbing documentaries. I know already that in years to come, this song -- this performance of it -- will remind me of Christmas in the year 2015. Ultimately, we all must away.

If you'll excuse me now, I seem to have gotten something in my eye.

Campaign silence ends as rental housing code and wi-fi appear on Thursday's council agenda.

It's the mayor!

Throughout the municipal election cycle of 2015, Pavlov's mutt was roused on numerous occasions.

Team Gahan's opponents would point to the mayor's perennial and secretive non-transparency, and both the mayor and his acolytes would deny it. Had Bob Dylan resided in New Albany, it would have been called "Saliva on the Tracks."

The election is over, and Jeff Gahan won. There is a final city council meeting on the schedule this Thursday evening, complete with an ordinance about rental registration and enforcement, and resolution shifting monies previously allocated for a lighting project to an as-yet undefined WiFi installation.

Needless to say, these issues were skirted throughout the year ... until now.

INTRODUCTION OF ORDINANCES:

G-15-05 Ordinance Adopting Chapter 160: Rental Housing Code (Phipps 1&2)

A-15-10 Ordinance for the Appropriation of Riverboat or EDIT Funds for Blessings in a Backpack (Baird 3)

INTRODUCTION OF RESOLUTIONS:

R-15-19 Resolution regarding WIFI (Phipps)

R-15-20 Resolution Approving the Extension of a Sanitation Services Agreement (Zurschmiede)

R-15-21 Second Addendum to Agreement for Collection of Residential Municipal Solid Waste, Recyclables, and Bulk Items in the City of New Albany, Indiana (Zurschmiede)

On Monday, at city attorney Shane "Thesaurus-Free" Gibson's request, the city clerk e-mailed the rental housing "exhibit" to council mailing list recipients. It runs 31 pages and is unusable as a .pdf file. Here are the contents headings:



These might be good developments, and I'd love to be able to provide readers with better background on these matters, but there is little I can do for now. Most of my recent questions to my own city council person go unanswered, and both City Hall and the local Democratic Party have spent the past nine months depicting me as a non-person.

No complaints: Live by the sword, die by scorched earth. I get it. That's life under the occupation, and why the resistance moves underground.

If New Albany had a newspaper, perhaps it might ask these questions. It will not, so I must defer to you, the readers. If you live in New Albany and care about these issues, ask your council person to explain them. Ask Team Gahan to explain them. It's too easy for the functionaries to shut down one voice, so please, at least make them break a sweat.

I'll continue doing what I do, as I'm able. But I need help.

Look: New Gahania is by no means a monolith. 53% of 28% of the city's registered voters opted for Oz. That's roughly 10% of the population as a whole. Jeff Gahan's bizarre cult of personality surely remains ascendant, though it isn't infallible, even if he's been unable to concede a mistake in 12 years.

Keep pushing, and thanks for reading.