Groningen cycling template makes proper use of one-way streets.

There is considerable irony in Groningen's experience, because this Dutch city has found a genuine use for one-way streets: They're deployed to keep cars out of the central district, not to enable their rushed passage through it.

I'd say it's a lesson we might adaptively learn, but then again, New Albany isn't a "learning" kind of place ... yet.

How Groningen invented a cycling template for cities all over the world, by Renate van der Zee (The Guardian)

“Instead of destroying old neighbourhoods, we wanted to restore them and convert them into pleasant areas for people to live in. The idea was to discourage motorised traffic and to give priority to pedestrians, bikes and public transport,” remembers Van den Berg. “All this was feasible because Groningen is a relatively small, compact city. The distances are short and can easily be covered by foot or by bike.”

Reader question: "Is there a plan to attract new employers?"

A friend messaged me with these questions.

Does anyone realize with the loss of Pillsbury, Wal-Mart on Grant Line is now the 8th largest employer in Floyd County?

Does anyone really expect to retire from Wal-Mart with benefits? How many of those Wal-Mart jobs are full time and pay over minimum wage?

Does anyone realize the largest employers in Floyd County are family owned businesses ripe for purchase by out of town firms who would probably buy the businesses just for their client lists and close them?

Is there a plan to attract new employers to the county?

What are your answers?

City Hall suggests that corporate welfare in instances like the Coyle site redevelopment will spur trickle-down (they prefer "ripple effect") job creation.

What's our best hope to adapt to the ongoing explosion of River Ridge, which the state has chosen as its regional "winner," and would be enriched even further by proposals advanced for the regional Cities Initiative?

Thoughts?

Matt Nash is the 5th district nominee as the nutty professor bobs to the surface.

It's official: Matt Nash has been selected by the Democratic Party to be the nomineefor 5th district city council, replacing primary winner Dustin Collins, who withdrew due to illness.

More entertainingly, Vicki "Professor Erika" Denhart has broken three months' silence to denigrate Nash, the party and the process.

NEWS FLASH.....ANOTHER FIXED ELECTION.

"No wonder our city is going to HELL in a hand basket!"

By the way, it's Burks, not Burke -- and Matt already announced his departure from column composition.

Interestingly, Nash has differed publicly with the incumbent mayor on several issues, two-way streets foot-dragging prime among them. The party's desperate imperative to remove primary loser Diane Benedetti is duly noted in this context, as she did not always toe the "Gahan as divinity" party line, prompting Team Gahan to not-so-secretly plump for Collins in the run-up to May.

Republican candidate Tonye Rutherford lost to Benedetti by less than two dozen votes in 2011, so the 5th district contest should be competitive.

Speaking of curbside pandering pulpits ...

... I'm sorry I missed the Democratic Party strategy session.

On curb grass, stormwater, challenging, and not pandering.

We've got a lot of curb grass this summer, and while this can be explained by an inordinate amount of rain, it also suggests that street sweeping isn't really cleaning the streets, because if it did, would there be soil enough for the grass to grow?

So, what do you do except mow the streets every now and then, as workers were doing recently at the Coyle Corporate Welfare Site?

Here is why this matters.

It is a problem, but wouldn't we be helping alleviate the problem if our stormwater runoff effort included not only big ticket expenditures, but also matching grants for various steps homeowners themselves could do to keep water from reaching these drains?

And educating about where the leaves and yard clippings belong, and enforcing them?

As it stands, we as a city collect monies and deploy them from the top down to "solve" the stormwater problem without any active expectations on the part of the citizenry. However, I think little efforts add up to big ones, and accrue less expensively than the big ones.

They're harder to hang plaques on, but who needs to take credit so long as something gets accomplished?

Autocentrism vs. ADA 101: Vectren's first thought is to block the sidewalk.

How hard would it have been to place the sign in the grass? It only took me a couple of seconds to make a citizen's nudge; by the time I walked around the block, it already had been moved back into blocking position onto the sidewalk.

If we're ever going to HAVE walkability, shouldn't we start THINKING walkability?

Sidewalk parking impunity?

Of course, another question to ask is why this stretch of sidewalk is in such a state of wretched disrepair, but let's begin elsewhere.

Way back in 2012, we explained the sheer wonderment of Doug England's non-enforcement regime as it pertains to downtown parking.

ON THE AVENUES: Can’t stuff ‘em in a burlap sack, either.

 ... During the epochal third England Administration, which ingloriously perished when the Democratic executive’s hand-picked Republican successor was crushed prior to his suffering a humiliating council race loss to a comparative non-entity, the mayor took precious time away from his lifelong hobby of dispensing politically-motivated favors with other people’s money to heroically sidestep any involvement with downtown parking issues. Hizzonner simply decreed that downtown parking rules would not be enforced ...

Concurrently, we know that a city ordinance forbids parking in certain places. We just don't know exactly where this ordinance is being enforced.

"No person shall stop, stand or park a vehicle in any of the following places."

§ 72.18 PROHIBITED PARKING AREAS.

(A) (1) No person shall stop, stand or park a vehicle in any of the following places:

(a) On a sidewalk;
(b) In front of, or otherwise blocking access to, a public or private drive;
(c) Within an intersection;
(d) Within ten feet of a fire hydrant;
(e) On a crosswalk;
(f) On a tree lawn, the space between the street curb and the sidewalk; and
(g) Front yard, side yard, rear yard or courtyard other than a designated driveway.

Consequently, given that the cars pictured above on 3rd Street between Main and market are parked on the sidewalk just about every day, we must reasonably conclude that the ordinance prohibiting parking on the sidewalk is among those not being enforced since England decreed lawbreaking to be not only tolerable, but municipal government's solemn duty -- something Jeff Gahan has chosen to observe, too.

Therefore, if there is in fact a parking problem in downtown New Albany, isn't the clearest way to resolve it, and the one already sanctioned by City Hall, to allow people to double park their cars on sidewalks to their heart's content? In fact, on the Market Street sidewalk opposite the Copier Mart's front door, there probably is room for two rows of cars on the sidewalk and one on the street.

In the absence of enforcement, what's to stop anyone from doing so?

Because, as you can see, they already are.

Stephen "Taco Steve" Powell, his taco cart, and downtown New Albany.

Meet Taco Steve of Powell's Pigs & Cows.

You may know him as Stephen Powell, formerly of NABC, and now a taco entrepreneur in downtown New Albany.

This is Stephen's Taco Cart, which he's setting up on the corner by Hugh E. Bir's on Fridays and Saturdays starting at 6 p.m., past midnight -- or until he runs out of food.

Stephen gets his smoked pork and chicken from Shawn Pitts, operator of Shawn's Southern BBQ on State Street.

The tacos look like this ...

 ... and Ed Needham is a satisfied customer.

On Tuesdays through the favorable weather season, Stephen will be setting up by Comfy Cow on Market Street between 11:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. Credit and debit cards are accepted, and he's been known to produce vegetarian black bean tacos.

Most of you know Stephen from his decades of bar service, so now you can visit him for all your taco needs.

Urban design promotes walkability, which reinforces urban design.

As yet, there is no indication that Jeff Gahan is serious about the prospects for a "walkable" New Albany, because if the notion carried any weight with him, City Hall would be leading a campaign to educate in preparation for a change in consciousness.

Instead, we're pandering to the usual vested interests, and panhandling for campaign cash.

In this City Lab article by Laura Bliss, two key components are identified that contribute to walkability in smaller cities like ours: Transparency (windows, not walls) and Imageability (unique visual identity).

designers-can-get-smaller-cities-walking/399545/">How Urban Designers Can Get Smaller Cities Walking: A new study identifies two important street features that draw pedestrians—outside of New York City.

Using similar methodology as in the New York study, the researchers spent 30 minutes counting walkers on 179 blocks in downtown Salt Lake City. Out of five broad categories of design features, they found that two had statistically significant relationships to the number of people on foot.

Broken Sidewalk dissects City Hall's tone deafness in the "Street Piano Debacle of 2015."

Broken Sidewalk collates the facts from multiple sources and presents an excellent overview of the Street Piano Debacle of 2015.

Please don’t injure yourself playing this artistic piano on New Albany’s downtown sidewalks, by Branden Klayko (Broken Sidewalk)

 ... New Albany’s off-tune reception of Roseberry’s street piano highlights a critical part of urban life today—that we must embrace experimentation in our public realm. As cities and urban areas continue to draw more residents and visitors, the community is eager to explore new ways of interacting with the city—and with each other. Whether it’s through tactical urbanism, public art, or simply just hanging out on the sidewalk, cities like New Albany would do well to encourage such citizen-led initiatives and reap the benefits of a revitalized urban society.

We're counting the ways Jeff Gahan is spending millions without fundamentally addressing failed infrastructure.

To be accurate, Jeff Gillenwater is counting them, and he's doing such a wonderful job of refuting Team Gahan's exaggerated claims that I'll merely recount the point-counterpoint.

"Let us also count the tens of millions of debt we'll be paying back for the next couple of decades while the campaign brags about cash reserves only because it has handcuffed young people with such hefty credit card bills. And why is the irresponsible, neighborhood polluting former owner of this property still being granted so many demolition contracts by the Gahan administration? Was the princely, publicly paid sum for this property not enough of a reward for party loyalty? Should we look for his name on the campaign donor list?"

---

"Like I said, they try to brag about their financial prowess without mentioning the tens of millions of debt we've incurred in just over three years while doing little to address what is obviously failing infrastructure all over the city. An out-of-town developer wants a $5 million handout? No problem. A citizen wants their storm sewer drain to actually drain? Tough cookies. As I previously mentioned, if you're 45 or older, you'll likely be retired or dead before New Albany's citizens pay off Gahan's single term as mayor and we have little functional improvement to show for it. It doesn't take a genius to pay for so much on long-term credit and it certainly doesn't take one to think that doing so means the few extra dollars in one's pocket that day as a temporary, short-term result is a sign of sound fiscal management."

In Louisville as well as New Albany, "Municipal and mega-business moguls fornicate first and get acquainted later."

Even before Greg Fischer's Omni sellout, NAC had been tracking the Louisville mayor's ongoing deterioration.

Irv still nutzoid, and Gilderbloom's research wasted on New Albany -- and Greg Fischer, for that matter.

A visual Fischer goes full Gahan on the ad hoc demolition of historic properties.

Jeff Gahan texts Greg Fischer: "OMG, the CJ called, LOL."

Jeff Gahan and local Democrats tout purely Orwellian "preservation by demolition" theories filched from Greg Fischer.

The higher ranking the New Albany "Democrat," the loftier his or her admiration for Fischer and Walt Disney. While we can dismiss the Disney fetish as simple bad taste, their are serious implications for Fischer emulations, such as the "tinkle down" corporate welfare encapsulation of the Coyle site apartment project.

Some of Fischer's allies are moving toward the exits. Expect the same in New Albany.

The anti-climactic Omni orgy, by Steve Shaw (LEO Weekly)

... Welcome to the Bonobo Republic of Louisville, where municipal and mega-business moguls fornicate first and get acquainted later. By all appearances, Mayor Fischer gave Omni carte blanche to do whatever they wanted despite a public investment of $139 million, nearly half of the project’s price tag.

ON THE AVENUES: Money is the ultimate bully.

ON THE AVENUES: Money is the ultimate bully. 

A weekly web column by Roger A. Baylor.

New Albany is a city of 37,000 residents. Not even 1% of them bicycle to work. The poverty rate is 23%, and incumbent mayor Jeff Gahan came into the year 2015 with almost $100,000 in his re-election fund.

He’d have spent some of it during the primary season, and surely raised more since then.

That’s a lot of money, isn’t it?

Do you ever wonder where it all comes from?

For $100,000 to have come entirely from New Albany, every voter opting for Gahan in 2011 already would have donated at least $22 to his 2015 campaign. One needn’t be a card-carrying cynic (like me) to know this has not been the case, and I’d wager that less than 20% of the mayor’s total take has come from “just plain folks” locally.

Speaking in broader terms, we needn’t bother examining Gahan’s financial filings with a magnifying glass in order to make educated guesses about the sources of the lucre.

$50,000 or more probably has come from elsewhere, whether Indianapolis, the Magic Kingdom or the Canary Islands, by way of various PACs and Democratic Party funding sources. In addition, there are certain to be significant chunks from those engineering, contracting and construction firms commissioned to erect Gahan’s many gleaming palaces by means of taxpayer money.

Did I say gleaming palaces?

I meant TIF-bonded, plaque-ready building projects. They’re pictured on the flash cards Gahan holds aloft at every opportunity, although where I grew up, things can’t be classified as “gifts” when the giver used your credit card to pay for them.

Since 2012, the good times have rolled and many beaks have gotten nice and wet. Randomly adding together Bicentennial Park, the farmers market buildout, Main Street beautification, parks and aquatic center bonds, Coyle site sewer fee waivers and the accompanying corporate TIF welfare handouts, special event equipment rentals, overtime and an expense account luncheon here and there, Gahan has spent well north of $30 million since January 1, 2012, on wants, as opposed to needs.

It’s probably closer to $40 million … and I forgot the drive-to-only dog park.

$40-odd million.

That’s a lot of money, isn’t it, and it helps to explain the familiar cycle of campaign funding, doesn’t it, and as a longtime blogger, independent mayoral candidate and fairly well-read fellow who also enjoys sitting at the bar and nursing a beer, is it somehow my fault that I possess the ability to bring all this to your attention in an educational and entertaining way?

Am I forcibly seizing the bully pulpit? Using the tools at my disposal? Deploying guerrilla tactics against a well-heeled, unscrupulous opponent?

Of course, all the while hoping there still exists a modicum of free speech, allowing any of us to mount that soap box and let it rip – and to toss a hat onto the ring, file petitions, do paperwork, amass a scant pittance of campaign contributions, mount an insurgency against a man who has held elective office for twelve years, who has $100,000 burning a hole in his pocket, and what’s more, possesses a slick publicly-financed social media stream disseminating shameless re-election materials daily under the shabby guise of civic news -- and lest we forget, flaunts a local Democratic machine faithfully at his side, one ready to transition the incumbent as an Indiana Senate hopeful at the drop of a few hundred thousand bucks.

Let's try to be adults. Even this heretic knows that Goliath was the big bad bully, and not the dude with the spot-on slingshot, and accordingly, I’ll continue to speak and write openly about the way things are in New Albany, because when it comes to underdogs, sleepers, dark horses and the man in Tiananmen Square blocking a column of tanks with his briefcase, you won’t find any of them in the $100,000 mayoral suite overlooking one-way Spring Street.

And that’s exactly the way I like it.

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the hundreds of thousands of millions of dollars comprising New Albany’s debt, but what the hey -- it’s the way American politics work, all disgusting and horrible when Republicans do it, which is why Democrats do it, too. Meanwhile, 44% of African-Americans in New Albany live below the poverty line … and 100% of Gahan’s out-of-town sugar daddies remain unaware of this fact.

---

Four years ago, Jeff Gahan and I got together. He held a grudge over my participation in an abortive lawsuit intended to compel unwilling city council members to redistrict fairly, a reform Gahan helped shoot down, but heeding advice to be a good soldier and work within the Democratic Party system, I parleyed.

Over coffee, we spoke about what we viewed as important for the city’s future. On my list were topics familiar to anyone who’s been reading this blog since 2004, including two-way streets, rental property registration, slumlord abatement, ordinance enforcement, economic localism and historic preservation. He seemed to be in agreement, and I supported his candidacy as a result.

Obviously, Jeff Gahan won the election.

Obviously, Gahan hasn’t followed through on his promises to my satisfaction – and I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Obviously, I believe he has turned out to be an absolutely lousy mayor. If I believed otherwise, would I be running against him as an independent?

Hence, my point: When I say Jeff Gahan is a lousy mayor, either aloud or in written form, and at times with pictures, some of them artistically altered so as to be funny, it’s hardly character assassination. Rather, it is an ongoing dialogue, and an argument constructed with concepts, ideas and evidence in addition to the wit and snark. In 2015, it’s also a political campaign, and as such, it is a milieu that each candidate has accepted as part of the game.

Of course, several of us have gone to great lengths, fairly often and for a very long time, to explain in excruciating detail why Gahan’s decision-making process is faulty, how we’d have done it differently, and what we might yet do to reverse the mistakes and make things better.

Here is one recent example.

Gahan’s corporate welfare bursar is David Duggins, although his official title is the increasingly improbable “economic development director.”

Duggins is fond of using words like “ripple effect” to describe Reaganite-style “trickle down” Hail Mary plays in cases like the Coyle site upscale luxury apartment development, in which the city of New Albany will pay one-third the price of a private company’s $15 million investment, devoting taxpayer dollars to mitigating the private company’s risks, these being magnanimous guarantees unavailable to dozens of homegrown entrepreneurs and investors.

One “ripple effect” of the Coyle site deal, which Duggins himself has referred to as mere “boilerplate,” is that it neatly closes the circle of campaign finance (see above).

But to me, these unfortunate “ripple effect” references better describe the many negative ramifications of Gahan’s bad Coyle site decision, above and beyond “just” losing the $5 million in corporate welfare handouts being thrown at Flaherty Collins.

For one, it sends a dreadful message to stakeholders in perennially neglected neighborhoods a mere stone’s throw away, which can be read in the smirk on Duggins’s face:

“Relax, folks. Trendy bocce ball access is on the veranda, with Mojitos and the best internet service in town, and these amenities matter far more than taking the time to curb the slumlord or revert the one-way street, actions that would increase your property values, reduce crime and enhance your quality of your life. Just be patient and wait for the ripple effect, because we’re sure the high rollers won’t forget the gratuity when you’re finished picking up after them. After all, they’re the right kind of people.”

The underemployed single mother in a shotgun house?

She must have forgotten to make a campaign donation.

Furthermore, the Coyle site subsidy represents five of 40-odd million questionable decisions, each one representing opportunity costs, lost chances and squandered potential. The money might have been spent on projects and programs designed to address genuine fundamentals of the sort calculated to spread the risks, spread the rewards, nurture the grassroots, and help lift the many rather than stroke the few.

However, far too often Gahan’s “investments” have not been directed toward these goals, and this isn’t my idea of what quality municipal government does. Perhaps it is yours, in which case I’d recommend voting for the mayor’s re-election, because in the end, that’s how elections are supposed to work.

They’re not enthronements. Ideally, they represent choices, and that's precisely what I aim to provide in 2015. If Jeff Gahan cannot keep up, it isn't my problem.

So, let’s be crystal clear: We rage against the current mayoral machine because the machine is the bully in this equation. To think otherwise is to practice the sort of enduring self-deception and intellectual debasement that have characterized Democratic machine politics in New Albany for so very long, and which prevent this city from reaching its potential.

I believe there are alternatives to the same tired civic rituals, practiced by the usual underachieving political suspects, and which come down to these three priorities:

Infrastructure
Empowerment
Transparency

Broken down a bit further, I’ll close the column today with these ten bullet point Baylor for Mayor platform planks.

Infrastructure upgrades and management
Quality of life by two-way design and ordinance enforcement
A sane and sustainable budget
Historic preservation and greening
New Albany’s economy comes first
Equal governance and level playing fields
A deep personnel cleaning of City Hall
Internet connectivity as infrastructure
Transparency and governmental communication
Human rights as non-negotiable mandate

Next week, I’ll elaborate on these points.

---

Recent columns:

July 30: ON THE AVENUES: Homegrown New Albany, but not in a good way.

July 23: ON THE AVENUES: A citizen's eloquent complaint about the parking debacle at River Run reminds us that planners and brooms go hand in hand.

July 16: ON THE AVENUES: Louisville Beer, then and now ... and cheers to Rotary.

July 9: ON THE AVENUES: A mayoral petition as prologue to history.

July 2: ON THE AVENUES: "Water on the brains: Much less for far more will keep us swimming in it."

June 25: ON THE AVENUES REWOUND: Red scarf, white shirt and San Miguel beer (2012).

Watch the video of Dr. John Gilderbloom's two-way streets presentation last night.

Just as he did when Jeff Speck spoke in 2014 ...

Jeff Speck in New Albany: Newspaper coverage and video link.

 ... my friend and former employee Robert Landrum attended last night's wonderful presentation by John Gilderbloom's and filmed a Speck companion piece in two parts -- above as embedded here, or at YouTube:

One 

Two

Downtown parking solutions?

After I reposted at NAC's facebook page, there was a question: "So what would be a possible fix?"

Baylor for Mayor: On parking "opportunities" in downtown New Albany.

 ... Too many employers do nothing. The city does nothing. Both point at the other, expecting solutions, when neither will expend capital to find them. Free parking comes at a price, and the sooner we recognize this fact, the easier it will be to do something.

A plan would be a good start. At the moment, all is scattershot reaction, not pro-active thought. We have crisp new signs identifying parking areas, but no explanation of how they're to be used. Too many merchants abuse curbside spaces for the use of employees (and even more sadly, owners). Pages of parking regulations have been chucked, and are non-enforced according to the England Dictate that "no rules are beneficial."

Unfortunately, the unintended side effect of "no rules" is "no value," and without a value for parking, it is impossible to plan for sensible parking. It's the Wild West.

Jeff Speck has submitted a Downtown Street Network Proposal for New Albany. In his most recent book, which provides the context and conceptual basis for his proposal, he considers two of the issues that must be recognized when planning for parking.

The key passage for New Albany is underlined.

Sidetracks in Jeff Speck’s ‘Walkable City’, by Brody Dale (Next City)

II. Parking meters are good for storefronts, and higher prices make them even better, pg. 129

It was surprising to learn that the parking meter was first deployed in Oklahoma City, a place known for sprawl. Not only that, but when the first parking meters went in on one side of the street, it wasn’t long before business owners on the other side clamored for them.

How can that possibly be when downtown business leaders across the country routinely fight parking hikes for fear that it will drive away business? The reality is simple supply and demand. When the price is right for on-street parking, people use just as much parking as they need. Which a) means customer turnover is higher and b) customers are more likely to drive to a particular block because they feel confident they will find a spot when they get there. The market should play a greater role in setting parking prices. Which brings us to our next point.

III. American parking is socialist, pg. 116-120

Speck points out that American cities nearly universally have off-street parking minimums, usually designed around peak use. Under this system, everyone pays for parking, whether they use it or not. Mass transit users, cyclists and walkers all pay for parking they don’t need when shopping in stores built under minimum parking requirements. It’s pure parking socialism (my word, not Speck’s). We would all be better off if cities let the market decide how much off-street parking they need and build to their expectation.

In my review of Michael Chabon’s Telegraph Avenue, I mentioned the growth a Metro stop brought to D.C.’s Columbia Heights neighborhood. Speck writes about the same place, adding a depressing anecdote about the millions of dollars in waste brought about by minimum off-street parking requirements in a project that has otherwise been a runaway success.

The mere mention of parking meters generally causes panic, but as the passage makes clear, they are invaluable in determining value. As for parking meter revenues, these can be put into a downtown development corporation dedicated to infrastructure projects, meaning that customer and merchant alike know to what purpose the revenues are being put. The money stays downtown.

Following are two other links addressing the parking value issue.

The High Cost of Free Parking (book)

Free Parking Comes at a Price

Thoughts, comments, input?

GAHANS STRIKE BACK: Street piano approved but the social media fur begins to fly.

I predicted this one. First, Hannegan thanks her supporters.

And then this.

There isn't much else to say about this WATCH OUT FOR THAT FRYING PAN!

The News and Tribune story is here.

Part One of "Free the Street Piano," in which there is a subtle public protest outside.

With Hannegan Rosebarry's street piano returning yet again to the Board of Public Works and Safety agenda on Tuesday morning, artist Michael Wimmer conceived a public art protest of the public art captivity, and created his own street piano out of scrap materials.

As you can see from the photo above, when I arrived on the scene at 9:30 a.m., Michael's piano was in place on the plaza in front of the City-County building's front entrance. The News and Tribune's photographer was snapping shots.

David Duggins emerged from the front entrance. The city's corporate welfare bursar walked toward us, said hello to everyone except me, continued walking on the sidewalk, and made a loop to the building's Spring Street entrance.

Moments later, out came the building authority's head supervisor, who informed Michael that if he wanted the piano to remain on the public plaza, as opposed to the public sidewalk ten feet away, he'd have to obtain -- wait for it -- the Board of Public Works and Safety's approval.

Not wanting to subject himself to a six-week rejection process, Michael rolled the piano to the sidewalk, then after a few minutes, he repositioned it on the south side of the plaza-sidewalk intersection. It was at this point that I  glanced toward the entrance to the sheriff's department and saw a hologram. ‬

The mayor spotted me leveling a camera in his direction, and by the time I squeezed the shutter, all I saw was his back.

Michael stayed streetside with his creation when the meeting started at 10:00 a.m., and he said that he'd be wheeling "Free the Street Piano" around during the next few days. It's intended to be inter-active, so you can sign it and leave comments. Here's a good one: "Regime Change Now."

Part two is here.

Part Two of "Free the Street Piano," as the Bored finally releases the hostage.

Part One is here.

I'm not sure where to begin in documenting the rampantly officious hypocrisy that has come to epitomize New Albany's Board of Public Works and Safety, but let's give it a try for posterity's sake.

Since first approached by Hannegan Roseberry with a request to place an artistically adorned street piano under the awning at Jimmy's Music Center on the corner of Pearl and Market, the board has gone out of its way to be unresponsive.

It tabled Hannegan's request, then obscurely deflected responsibility first to an utterly befuddled Historical Preservation commission, then to an equally baffled Develop New Albany, before finally -- weeks later -- concluding that major liability issues precluded approval. These issues were explained in mind-numbing detail this morning by the city's "corporate" attorney, Shane Gibson, who didn't bother summarizing why they don't matter for various trip hazards on city sidewalks ... but I digress.

In short, it has been as though this board, handpicked by Mayor Jeff Gahan, has contrived to distill fifty years of underachieving, caterwauling, Luddite, top-down, ward-heeling insensitivity to modernity into one entirely unintentional crowning condemnation of New Albany's political monetization "culture."

In short, the Board of Works has sent up itself -- parodied itself, made itself a laughingstock, tittered at the artsy-fartsy, donned the emperor Gahan's brilliant new clothes, mimicked the movie Footloose, an embarrassed an entire city.

Today, having at last reassured itself that Jimmy Gaetano actually was on board with the idea of the piano sitting by his building, near the "Gahan for Mayor" sign in his window, which provides the single gut-funniest commentary in this entire theater of the absurd (naturally, any of the board's members might have phoned Gaetano moments after the first request was made, but no), Hannegan's request was approved unanimously.

Before you could extract a cash-stuffed envelope from a far-off Democratic Party PAC, the same city officials who have laboriously compiled a weeks-long record of pettiness on the Street Piano rushed to glad-hand Hannegan.

They have not read George Orwell, and they feel no shame. You can be sure they'll now claim credit for what they did so much to impede.

Can anyone explain why this happened?

Gilderbloom: Proving what Gahan can't seem to fathom, tonight at the library.

As noted previously ...

You are invited to listen as Dr. John Gilderbloom preaches his "gospel of things urban" on Tuesday, August 4, at the library.

This is tonight. It's important because ...

"As safety and livability become more important ... the case for converting one-way streets into two-way streets (is) a compelling one."

It's a difficult topic upon which to mount a self-congratulatory plaque, but one addressing genuine fundamentals in the effective management of, and investment in, the city's daily working infrastructure. A good place for the mayor to begin, assuming he ever emerges from aquatic seclusion:

Mr. Padgett's Blues: "10-Foot Traffic Lanes Are Safer—and Still Move Plenty of Cars."

We're hoping to see you tonight ... and big thanks to councilman John Gonder for organizing the event.

What new line of defense will be contrived by the Bored of Works to contain the street piano contagion?

Here's the view from the Bored Room:

New Albany: Wonderfully and delightfully us ... so visit Free the New Albany Street Piano at Facebook and join the fun, because we're not laughing WITH them.

Anyone seen the mayor?

The Street Piano returns for its 4th (5th? 16th?) gala appearance Tuesday at the Bored of Works.

Heck, we were under the impression that that mayor finally had emitted coded signals from the down-low bunker and resolved the impasse by the usual methods.

Mayor Gahan announces compromise street piano measure.

Gahan: Body cameras utterly redundant in perfect human societies like New Albany's.

There are times when I feel a fleeting twinge of sympathy for Mayor Jeff Gahan's handlers, as when he somehow squirms out of their leaden grasp, improvises off script, and unleashes a whopper like this one.

“Fortunately, our community doesn’t feel the pressure to implement a body camera program at this time,” New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan said Friday.

The NAPD has a good relationship with the community, and there hasn’t been an outcry from the public or any specific organizations to require officers to wear body cameras, he continued.

It isn't easy reducing this bizarre sentiment to its most bedrock, fundamental "WTF," but we must try. First, the link to Daniel Suddeath's piece in the News and Tribune.

No body cameras for New Albany police, yet

NEW ALBANY — A growing trend locally and in cities throughout the nation has been a call for police officers to be equipped with body cameras.

Well-documented cases, including the police shooting of a man in Louisville last month who was attacking a cop before being fatally wounded, have placed more attention on interactions between law enforcement and the public.

But the New Albany Police Department doesn’t appear likely to be getting body cameras soon, though officials said the idea has been, and will continue to be, a point of discussion.

Interestingly, my fellow mayoral candidate Kevin Zurschmiede heard the same thing I did with reference to cameras, namely that the body cameras already been purchased. Props to KZ for airing the issue, which was denied by Chief Todd Bailey.

Zurschmiede questions recent purchases of NAPD cameras (Suddeath)

NEW ALBANY — There have been some misconceptions by officers when it comes to New Albany Police Chief Todd Bailey and Mayor Jeff Gahan’s statements about a body camera program, City Councilman and mayoral candidate Kevin Zurschmiede said Friday.

After a News and Tribune article published Monday about the city’s decision not to implement a body camera program at least in the near future, Zurschmiede said multiple NAPD officers informed him that up to 45 video recorders had been recently purchased by the department.

Such is the state of polarization in America that a truly balanced discussion of the body camera issue is difficult. It may or may not be the case that the NAPD has a "good relationship with the community," but agreeing to this assertion still does not preclude working to make the relationship better (as the officers with whom I've spoken favor) or supporting technological applications capable of providing facts when what matters most is the truth.

Another Police-Involved Shooting Marks a Turning Point in the Debate on Body Cameras, by Kriston Capps (City Lab)

 ... Outstanding questions on how body cams should be implemented deserve answers. Should police themselves decide who sees the footage—and what parts people see? Should it be as easy to dial up a local law-enforcement body cam as it is to view footage on a traffic cam? What laws will safeguard the privacy rights of officers? Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Legitimate policy concerns notwithstanding, we would not have a clear picture of DuBose’s death without the officer’s body-cam footage. The dark suspicions of his family may be right: Without that body camera, we might not have ever discovered the truth.

There was no clamor, pressure or outcry to install a water park, and yet Gahan was pro-active to the tune of $20 million in park system construction. Perhaps his basic tone deafness pertaining to public safety issues best explains this weird, reactive ambivalence about body cameras.

It should make us all pause and ask: How many other public safety measures are not being considered owing to Gahan's faulty perceptions of supply-and-demand, and how many potential problems will be addressed only after they occur?

How does this make us "fundamentally better," Mr. Mayor?

A title impossible to ignore: "Death at the Elvis Museum."

Before directing you to a very serious article, I must explain what I was listening to just days before I read it.

I've always been a fan of Neil Finn and his various musical aggregations, including Split Enz and Crowded House.

The latter group's third album was released in 1991, and is considered a masterpiece by many, although the received wisdom is that Finn's decision to release a song from the album called "Chocolate Cake" as the first single doomed its reception in America.

 ... By all accounts, Crowded House (over the objections of management and label) insisted that the first single, and the album’s lead-off track, be the surreal dance song “Chocolate Cake.” The Finn/Finn collaboration was a tongue-in-cheek attack on Americans and their obsession with excess and celebrity. “Chocolate Cake” took potshots at everyone from Tammy Faye Baker to Andrew Lloyd Webber (“May his trousers fall down as he bows to the queen and the crown”). The joke wore thin quickly.

“‘Chocolate Cake,’ in hindsight, may well have undone us,” Neil Finn said. “It started off as a live song, which was tremendous fun to play. But as a first single a lot of people were put off by it. It was confrontational, which was good in a sense — people either loved it or they hated it. But maybe it gave an impression of the album which was quite remote from what the album actually was.”

As regular readers can easily imagine, I've always liked "Chocolate Cake" precisely because it sends up "Americans and their obsession with excess and celebrity" -- and no such effort could be truly complete without a reference to Elvis Presley. Accordingly, the song's third verse (after the bridge) includes this line: "I saw Elvis Presley walk out of a 7-11."

It is followed by a muffled but fully audible "moo."

I'm guessing that the sentiment and tone of "Chocolate Cake" would not have appealed to the late Paul McLeod, curator of Graceland Too and collector of all things Elvis. McLeod's shrine is the setting for a story of two lives ... and two deaths.

Death at the Elvis Museum, a "long read" by Brandon Harris (The Guardian)

Paul MacLeod may very well have been the most famous Elvis memorabilia collector of all time. He was certainly the stuff of regional legend, a gun-toting, mile-a-minute talker with a questionable relationship to the truth. In his early 70s he was still an imposing man, with slicked back white hair and a gleam in his blue eyes that let you know he had long ago lost his mind, or at least wanted you to think he had. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, he offered tours of his home, Graceland Too, an 1853 antebellum house at the corner of Gholson Avenue and Randolph Street in Holly Springs, Mississippi. He did not have the vintage Elvis memorabilia necessary to be taken seriously by other collectors, whose circuit of conventions he shunned. The real draw of Graceland Too was not the Elvis-themed rugs, mugs, calendars, curtains, videos, limousines, and trading cards that he had spent a significant portion of his life collecting. It was Paul MacLeod himself.

About a bicycle trail in Missouri, over there somewhere, outside our Same Old Box.

Adaptive reuse.

Bringing people to places they'd otherwise not go.

Connecting wider areas by means of multi-modal transport options.

More effective economic development expenditures covering wider areas.

Just reminding myself that it's possible. Living where we do, it's easy to forget the wide expanse of terrain outside the self-imposed limitations of The Box, but we must try to remember.

Missouri towns see another path to prosperity — a bicycle trail along the old Rock Island Line, by Kasia Kovacs (Kansas City Star)

... He bought and renovated the hotel and now has enough patrons that his business is up and running in the black. And he’s expecting far more visitors in anticipation of a new project from the Missouri Department of Natural Resources: the Rock Island Trail.

Lawson is one of many business owners preparing for the state department to finish conversion of the out-of-use Rock Island Railway into a hiking and biking trail. The trail would stretch about 200 miles in Missouri, from Pleasant Hill, a town half an hour southeast of Kansas City, to Beaufort in the south-central part of the state. It also might loop with the Katy Trail, creating 400 miles of the longest rail-converted trail system in the country ...

"No person shall stop, stand or park a vehicle in any of the following places."

Following last week's random look at unenforced sidewalk parking ordinances ...

Parking is not permitted on sidewalks. This IS a sidewalk, right?

... reader W reinforced the message with this clear citation from the city's own rule book, noting that "Parking on a New Albany city sidewalk is illegal." Just for the record, here's the citation.

From the City of New Albany's adopted Ordinances:

§ 72.18 PROHIBITED PARKING AREAS.

(A) (1) No person shall stop, stand or park a vehicle in any of the following places:

• (a) On a sidewalk;
• (b) In front of, or otherwise blocking access to, a public or private drive;
• (c) Within an intersection;
• (d) Within ten feet of a fire hydrant;
• (e) On a crosswalk;
• (f) On a tree lawn, the space between the street curb and the sidewalk; and
• (g) Front yard, side yard, rear yard or courtyard other than a designated driveway.

These prohibitions can be found in the ordinances at: New Albany, Indiana Code of Ordinances

Look for: TITLE VII: TRAFFIC CODE; CHAPTER 72: PARKING REGULATIONS

"God, good guys and guns."

"I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!"
--Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce of television's M*A*S*H (quoted here in 2012)

I grew up around guns, and as an adult, I'd prefer guns not be around me.

To me, firearms are roughly akin to cars, sports and Viagra as penile enhancement devices, and I already have a penis, thanks. Pieces of machinery generally are value-neutral, their performance dependent on the guiding mind of humans. Conversely, human minds infected with machismo, conspiracy theories, hatred, kitchen table Formica and just plain variable mental health issues offer as much cause to be frightened as the typical armed robber, who after all, just wants money.

But: I'm no prohibitionist.

My own professional world of alcoholic beverages symbolizes "legal but heavily regulated," and that strikes me as utterly appropriate. You need a gun to cope, and I need a bottle. More alcoholic beverages to redress alcoholism? I'll get right on it. Whatever gets you through your life, it's all right.

Just leave me out of it.

Mass shootings: God, good guys and guns ... An understandable impulse to self-defence is nevertheless mistaken (The Economist)

 ... This dilemma is an iteration of a broader question: whether keeping guns makes people safer. A growing majority of Americans think it does—another mistaken conviction. Daniel Webster of the Johns Hopkins Centre for Gun and Policy Research says that, other factors being equal, keeping a gun at home is associated with a double or triple risk of homicide. What holds for homes is also true of states and countries: more guns mean more gun-related murders, tragic accidents and suicides.

Yet, amid the drumbeat of bloody news, well-meaning, fearful individuals take the seemingly rational decision to arm themselves. Almost all plan to be prudent with their guns. That, alas, is what everyone thinks.

Mayor Gahan announces compromise street piano measure.

Undoubtedly with plaque to follow.

Street Piano remains silent, though City Hall's cluelessness nears a crescendo.

Top Ten posts at NA Confidential for July, 2015.

The July Top Ten is determined by numbers of unique hits, as reported by Blogger.

The list begins with 10 honorable mention posts, before concluding with the Top Ten, escalating to No. 1.

Thanks for reading. Obviously, you are reading, even if some observers in City Hall are fond of pretending otherwise. Funny how they invariably reply publicly to what they haven't read on the down-low, isn't it?

HONORABLE MENTION

163 (tie)

ON THE AVENUES: A mayoral petition as prologue to history.

163 (tie)

ON THE AVENUES: Homegrown New Albany, but not in a good way.

164 (tie)

ON THE AVENUES: Louisville Beer, then and now ... and cheers to Rotary.

164 (tie)

Houndmouth is from New Albany; the band is on the verge; and it has a beer named after it.

167

Baylor for Mayor: On parking "opportunities" in downtown New Albany.

170

Non-communicative eggs dripping from its face yet again, City Hall suggests an appropriation for extra towels.

172

ADA, anyone? Parking is not permitted on sidewalks. This IS a sidewalk, right?

189

Help me compile the Top Ten Reasons Jeff Gahan Has Failed as Mayor.

192

Photo essay: Only one of these things is a liability concern for the Board of Public Works and Safety.

193

Hold the Roundup, says former stormwater board chairman.

194

ON THE AVENUES: "Water on the brains: Much less for far more will keep us swimming in it."

195

New Albany's new slogan: "Truck Through City" ... Part 95: It's the return of 18-wheeler pinup porn and utter Bored of Works indifference.

TOP TEN

205

Water Parking: Wait no more, for the Great Oz has spoken.

212

Here's what I'll be saying this morning at 8:00 a.m. out on the sidewalk by the Carnegie Center.

222

Coyle sitecapades: In New Albany, Democrats WILL be Republicans ... and Jeff Gahan WILL stay on the down low.

223

Don Vito's has left the building.

226

Top blog comment of the month: A COA for the NSP infill? It'd be MIA.

230

The press release: "New Albany Officially Has an Independent in Mayor's Race."

252

Coyle site luxury giveaway: "The people that they want to attract can't afford to live there."

253

SHOCKER: In which River Run Family Water Park's rules are revealed.

287

ON THE AVENUES: A citizen's eloquent complaint about the parking debacle at River Run reminds us that planners and brooms go hand in hand.

369

Ever the team player, Tiger Trucking beautifies the entrance to Loop Island Wetlands.

Baylor for Mayor: Urban, suburban and UniGov.

Hoosiers typically refer to combined city-county government as "Unigov," this being the catch phrase that originated 45 years ago when Indianapolis and Marion County undertook a "consolidation" of government pushed by then-mayor Richard Lugar.

What this notion of "combining" governments implies to me is an economy of scale -- but not the one we usually hear mentioned. We're told about the myriad small efficiencies to be derived from reducing or eliminating overlap, and while I don't contest these in every instance, what I see is a different kind of efficiency, or more accurately, inefficiency: Compact urban expenditures versus suburban sprawl subsidies.

It's the 800-lb gorilla in the room, as illustrated and explained here.

Sprawl Costs the Public More Than Twice as Much as Compact Development, by Angie Schmitt (Streetsblog)

How much more does it cost the public to build infrastructure and provide services for sprawling development compared to more compact neighborhoods? A lot more, according to this handy summary from the Canadian environmental think tank Sustainable Prosperity.

To create this graphic, the organization synthesized a study by the Halifax Regional Municipality [PDF] in Nova Scotia, and the research is worth a closer look.

Halifax found the cost of administering services varied directly in proportion to how far apart homes were spaced. On the rural end, each house sat on a 2.5 acre lot. On the very urban end, there were 92 people dwelling on each acre. Between those two extremes were several development patterns of varying density.

It costs more to "service" infrastructure for a few houses five miles off the main road outside Greenville than it does multiple homes located on a city block downtown. Precisely for this reason, Floyd County government is starved for money. Sprawl costs more, and revenues aren't sufficient to cover it. Somewhat surprisingly, the News and Tribune recently editorialized in favor of higher taxes to make up the difference, although the newspaper's editorial board didn't trace the need to the root cause: Sprawl costs more.

Of course there are areas suitable for sharing and cooperation between city and county government. These can and should be explored.

There's also a fundamental difference in settlement patterns between more and less densely populated areas, with ramifications for the cost of services and infrastructure maintenance. The latter represents a serious discussion we have not had.

Shall we begin?

Street Piano remains silent, though City Hall's cluelessness nears a crescendo.

The saga continues, and the non-communicators remains silent.

At last glance, the Free the New Albany Street Piano community at Fb had garnered 233 like in a little over a day. Sample comments:

• We should stage a piano sit in- New Albany mayor should be embarrassed- aren't we voting for new leadership soon?
• Come on! Let go just for once!
• We should encourage not discourage any opportunity to bring art, creativity and music to our citizens. How could this possibly harm anybody?

At the News and Tribune, Hannegan Roseberry concedes to exasperation. I feel badly for her, and also for all those who value art, music, creativity, and thinking outside self-imposed boxes. However, New Albany's Street Piano is performing a valuable public service.

It's showing us just how tone deaf the Gahan administration is -- and not just about a painted piano.

Oops, she did it again

• Why is the idea of a street piano so abhorrent to our officials?
• Why, when I followed the correct procedure back in April, was I completely shut down by a tangled web of emails and miscommunication (which I chronicled in a News and Tribune column at that point)?
• Why was I then encouraged to proceed again, and do it the "right way," why was I then put through a series of public hoops and hurdles over the last two weeks?
• Why is the Board of Works working so very, very hard to think of any— ANY — reason to shut this (me?) down, dragging Historic Landmarks and Develop New Albany into the fray (my apologies to both entities)?
• Why are citizens not allowed to have individual ideas? Why does everything have to come from above in our city?
• Finally, why is Jeffersonville so ready and willing to consider art in unexpected ways and why are we so terrified to do the same here in New Albany?