ON THE AVENUES: Surrender.

There hasn’t been much time to think it over – only six decades – but I’ve concluded that I’m a slow learner and a late bloomer. You need to be patient with me. Things don't always stick the first time -- or the fourteenth.

These observations were first made by a friend more than 25 years ago, and characteristically, it’s taken a whole pandemic for me to concede their accuracy. Better than a nuclear conflagration, I suppose.

In this week of milestones, which has included my 60th birthday, Pints&union’s second anniversary and the 15,000th blog post at NA Confidential, also comes the ideal opportunity to bring to fruition a promise I made all the way back in 2018.

My friends, the clock has expired. The sabbatical continues. Consider this my official withdrawal from active participation in the Resistance … to Mayor Gahan’s cult of personality, not President Trump’s.

Yes, I’ve been guilty of backsliding a time or two, as during the entire municipal election cycle in 2019. In retrospect, it was a last gasp. I made killer arguments, did the research, voluminously rested my case … and came out on the losing end, resoundingly; not once, but twice.

Slow learner, and all that jazz.

There has been a steady de-escalation of public affairs-oriented blogging (a.k.a., resistance programming) ever since, resulting from being busy in other aspects of life, as well as the need to reallocate non-paying writing time toward billable hours. The blog quota has been cut in half over a two-year span, and I’ve made a few farthings in the process.

The first six months of 2020 have seen the blog’s contents move ever further away from the proximity of the local Democratic Party’s movers and shakers. If for no other reason, simple pragmatism explains this shift.

The party’s ironclad commitment to one-way non-dialogue has resulted in my being muted, blocked and otherwise scourged over a period of seven (!) years; given this, it makes little sense to persist in scoring myriad solo debating points, virtually at will, against a AWOL opponent.

Although to be honest, dunking on them multiple times a week has proven to be almost more fun than sex.

---

To summarize, in 2020, with only a few exceptions, I’ve drastically reduced instances of truth-telling with regard to City Hall and its loyal Democratic Party acolytes. Rest assured that “truth-telling” is no idle boast. Just the facts, ma’am. In effect, I’ve written the history. What’s left for me to say?

The truths I’ve told remain just that – true – but these truths never were proprietary to me alone. I was just the one who kept repeating them aloud, imagining truth would eventually matter. No regrets, although I’d have been better off using the time to learn a foreign language.

Well, here’s more truth: My situation is unsustainable. To paraphrase Chief Joseph, I will resist no more forever (or until 2023, whichever comes first). Gahanism is triumphant, at least for the moment.

I no longer have the energy to explicate the absurdities of this city’s “chosen few,” and I’ve come to understand that they’ve cornered me with a bizarre variety of "Reverse Pavlov’s Dog (Park)".

To wit: Whenever I tell the truth about City Hall, certain of its functionaries begin to salivate – and they respond by applying an electric cattle prod to someone standing close to me.

I’m not punished directly, because they know it’s impossible and inadvisable. They don’t even bother trying. Instead, they hit back indirectly, by making life miserable for someone near to me, rendering me responsible for whatever pain ensues. In turn, clearly the only way for the cattle prod to be withheld from use against those close to me who don’t deserve it is for me to muzzle myself.

In the strictest sense of politics, as the accumulation and dispensing of raw power, I must admit this is the single cleverest stratagem the Gahanites have yet mustered. They shrug as I dominate the rhetorical battles, then go full Pavlovian to win the war.

It's a genius-level tactic, one fully deserving of respect and public acknowledgment – and I’m being neither flippant nor sarcastic. Not one single bit. Political power duly amassed, but never deployed, is squandered.

Check, mate; I surrender, dear leader. Send a ordinance enforcement officer to fetch my sword, on a plate.

City Hall wins and I lose, although it’s worth noting that in reality many others are losing, too, because municipal governance in our contemporary era relies on putting a heavy finger on the scales, choosing winners and ditching losers.

You know it, I know it. They know it. Hell, they’re proud of it; so it goes, and that’s life in the Vaseline, every day, all the time. At the age of 60, with 15,000 posts under the bridge and slowly floating downstream, it has become inordinately tiring to fight the power on a daily basis.

Stick a fork in me. I’m done.

On the other hand, there is much consolation. The historical record has been conceded to me, and I’m absolutely confident that posterity will pass a favorable verdict. I’ve proven my points again and again, typically without debate, reply, discussion or justification in return … which of course provides even more reason for raising these points (and their hackles) in the first place.

Truly it’s time to let go, because I’m toast, a sentiment reflected by the eternally witty Mael brothers of Sparks in their new song, “Toast.”

I'm toast
I'm toast
I'm toast
Nothing stays the same as it was

Have I made it plain?
I could not sustain
Any hard won gain
Now the choice is jam or butter

---

Now for the pivot.

It should be clear that a pandemic “trumps” pettiness, and what’s more, it’s a presidential election year. As such, I’ve completed a circle that commenced in 2004, when this blog was founded from the sheer, accumulated exasperation of forever arguing national affairs to the exclusion of local issues.

At the time I barely grasped these grassroots concerns, thus inaugurating a learning curve that first encouraged involvement beyond my comfort zone, then full immersion into the prevailing insanity, and finally the long process of restoring equilibrium, which is the reason for today’s column.

My viewpoint has widened again, far beyond this grubby burg. We’d have been spending much of 2020 talking about the election, anyway, but the arrival of a pandemic upped the ante. After all, COVID is a harmful, global virus.

It’s also the Great Revealer, a truth serum of epic dimension, illustrating that a crisis seldom causes folks to change their minds. It exacerbates what was there already, even if submerged or camouflaged. Humans dislike change. We double down on whatever superstition got us here.

And local Republicans have gone down doubling so far in 2020.

I’ve made many friends with conservative Republicans since my campaign in 2015, and I’m absolutely grateful for them. Granted, I’ve joked that you see me talking politics with Republicans them only because the DemoDisneyDixiecrats anti-socially distanced me years ago. It isn’t true; I enjoy their company, and have no plans to alter this dynamic.

However, it’s also important to recall the words of Israeli prime minister Shimon Peres: “When a friend makes a mistake,” he said, “the friend remains a friend, and the mistake remains a mistake.”

As it pertains to the pandemic – to Trump, Mike Pence, Black Lives Matter, the veracity of science versus religion, bailouts for the wealthy, capital accumulation and a plethora of other current briefs, I disagree with my friends on the Right, in some instances strongly. I think they’re mistaken. When we shared a distaste for the maddeningly dysfunctional local Democratic Party’s megalomania, bigger-ticket differences were easier to ignore.

Presently, not so much, but I never lied to anyone. I’m a leftist, and when it comes to politics in a presidential election year, it means I’ll be found camping in a locale much closer to where the Democrats bivouac, even if I retain my fundamental disdain for the American two-party system and its less salubrious practitioners on all sides of the aisle.

Here we are. On national topics, I can broadly agree with at least some elements of the municipal Democratic Party establishment; otherwise, we share a mutual and understandable loathing.

As for the Republicans, in my view the local cadres have been overtaken, exposed and struck deaf, blind and dumb, first by Trump, then COVID. However, their ongoing efforts to promote fiscal responsibility and governmental transparency are still worthy of my support.

The GOP, overall? It still isn’t me.

Pertaining to NA Confidential moving forward, it’s to be almost entirely a daily personal diary with post titles taken from songs. While not entirely denuded of municipal social commentary, it will be reduced to a size capable of being stuffed into an emptied can of kippers. Where it leads, I can’t yet say.

To prevent my friends and neighbors being punished for my truth-telling, certain topics will remain off-limits. It’s what I must do. Fortunately I’ve studied the lives of dissidents, artists and free-thinkers in the former Soviet Union, and they’ve taught me how to self-censor with dignity.

Yep. It’s impossible to come back without first going away. Vive la résistance!

---

Recent columns:

July 30: ON THE AVENUES: Guys.

July 23: ON THE AVENUES: These overdue mask mandates should help us separate the bad actors from the good.

July 16: ON THE AVENUES: Daniil Kharms, Marina Malich, and writing for the drawer about nothing ... pre-Seinfeld.

July 9: ON THE AVENUES: Mask up, folks. Pints&union is coming back, and we're taking precautions.

ON THE AVENUES: These overdue mask mandates should help us separate the bad actors from the good.

I like the idea of beginning the column with music. Thank you for the idea, Charles P. Pierce.

Meanwhile, they hath stolen my damn thunder.

I'd been preparing a sermon about the path of the righteous masked man, and how it is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil unmasked men.

Then these Republicans went and canceled me.

First it was Indiana’s Governor Eric Holcomb, followed by the Floyd County Health Department chief Dr. Thomas Harris.

Holcomb’s statewide mask mandate starts on Monday, but once the potential for heat from the home office in Indy was reduced, Dr. Tom at long last implemented a must-mask decree here, to begin tomorrow (Friday, July 24).

Enquiring minds want to know: What on earth took Dr. Tom so long?

Back in 2013 he was willing to fight for two entire YEARS for the health department’s inalienable “right” to regulate breweries pouring cups of beer at outdoor events.

Remembering the Great Beer Pour War of 2013: Bank Street Brewhouse, the Floyd County Health Department and the flight of the bureaucrats.

 ... On July 1, 2015, when a "beer bill" authored by Rep. Ed Clere officially becomes state law, it will be demonstrated for a third (and we trust final) time that the FCHD and its head, Dr. Tom Harris, were mistaken all along.

The new law is clear and explicit, as based on the two preceding legal precedents, both hitherto ignored by the FCHD.

All thanks to Ed Clere. His hard work in compelling local government functionaries to obey their own laws will not be forgotten, especially by me.

I digress, of course, but not before adding an important addendum.

The preceding events occurred between 2013 and 2015. They’re minor in relative terms compared with a pandemic, and yet it behooves me to note that when conditions, facts and realities on the ground change, we’re obliged to change with them.

Ask me a year ago what I thought about masks, and I’d likely to have shrugged and described them as comical. Now I’m not laughing.

Let’s be clear about these mask mandates.

They are an unqualified good.

---

The available evidence has long since convinced all but the most strident of dogma-driven refuseniks that we are in the midst of a coronavirus public health emergency. Sorry, Ayn Randians; the coronavirus itself has proven to be notoriously indifferent to the philosophy of objectivism.

Reputable scientific opinion existing outside our partisan propaganda silos is consistent and persuasive; COVID-19 is not the customary seasonal flu, and we’ve thoroughly botched our response to it.

The pandemic is not “going away” on its own, and if we can yet muster a coherent collective response, perhaps lives can be saved and post-COVID after-effects on personal health reduced.

Truth is truth. I needn’t have mentioned one of the worst novelists in recent American history to support the point.

Moreover, it serves no purpose to refer to the stock market, presidential elections, the purported expertise of rogue orthodontists who have found a link between Chinese viruses and the Trilateral Commission, or the way that social media renders both libtards and fascists into evil incarnate depending on the way the light bounces from mirrors none of us seem interested in using any longer.

As for the bizarre and almost purely American-derived "issue" of face masks, I support their use. Block, mute and unfriend to your heart's content. I’m satisfied with the testimony of trained medical authorities possessing long years of experience. Masks strike me as helpful and courteous in a time of pandemic. You and I can work together to keep a percentage of spray particles to ourselves. It's not a panacea; nothing is. It helps, and that's good.

Early on, as the merits of masks in spaces where social distance is harder to achieve became increasingly obvious, I noticed how few of the denizens of downtown New Albany were wearing them. Among them were many folks who in one way or another are “official,” or somehow consider themselves among the societal vanguard in some dimension – indie biz advocates, city employees and retail personnel, as examples.

It’s gotten gradually better since.

However, what I thought to myself at the time is that being part of any solution, great or small, implies the acceptance of holding yourself to whatever standards you’re touting. The old-school terminology is being a “role model,” and being a role model means bad actors need not apply.

If I go for a walk in the neighborhood when no one else is out, or am inside my own car, those are low-intensity examples. I’ll have my mask with me, just in case it is needed. But when I’m downtown, where many more people are out and about; if my employer’s admirable sense of professionalism and conscience precluded him from reopening his pub until he could make it as safe an experience as humanly possible, then it’s incumbent on me to wear the mask.

You know, being a positive role model.

That’s been easy, because wearing a mask isn’t political unless you’ve no better way to squander misspent brain cells. It’s about courtesy and public health in an uncommon period. A mask doesn’t violate my manhood or cause me to grow wool and go “baaahh.” I don’t have a finely waxed Rollie Fingers handlebar mustache to display in the hope of causing the fairer sex to swoon. Masks are fine with me, for no other reason than a way of pitching in.

It’s true that various economic theorists of the Narcissism as Economic Dishevelment have proven wonderfully capable of deconstructing the concept of “community” completely and putting it out of existence, and yet when I look outside, that’s what I see. A community. I don’t accept the foolishness of the selfish. I trust my own two eyes, and I believe in being a good actor as opposed to a soul-sapping malignancy with skeletons in the closet.

Maybe you had a different sort of upbringing, and if so, my sincerest condolences.

---

Holcomb’s and Harris’ mask directives surely pleased the ever-calculating grandees of the Floyd County Democratic Party. If the three-percenter anti-mask jihadists run amok, Democrats can blame the Republicans. If tantrum-prone adult snowflakes suddenly get the memo and decide to mask up, the Democrats can point to their toothless city council resolution and claim to have gotten there first.

Come what may, we should try not to forget that since the pandemic shutdown was launched on March 16, municipal Democrats have controlled all levers of local governance. They have a city council majority and hold the mayor’s office. Their appointees populate every board that matters and others that don't. Seldom before has so much power been held by so few at the apex of the pyramid.

If they have no intention whatever of using this power, would they mind if I borrowed it for the weekend?

There are literally dozens of proactive measures Democrats might have implemented these past five months to address the pandemic, but apart from an early and short-lived meal subsidy for displaced restaurant workers, signage for curbside parking and city anchor sticker logos slapped crookedly on canisters of hand sanitizer produced at Starlight Distillery, very little has been said or done except for irregular social media requests for the citizenry to be nice and behave itself.

In noting these facts, I’m foregoing polemics. No, really -- I am. Go to the News and Tribune web site, perform a few simple searches, and see so for yourself. Here in New Albany, agoraphobia and detachment remain the political orders of the day, both in sickness and health.

You're advised to believe me when I say that this time around, because of the way a pandemic fundamentally changes the nature of the playing field, I thought maybe for once ... just once ... local Democrats would rally the cadres and rise to the occasion.

I thought wrong, and it’s very depressing. Lucy pulled back the football. The crickets have chirped. The sound of pins dropping is like thunder, and somewhere, a lonely mutt bays at the indignity of it all.

What's more, timidity gains the party nothing.

Come November, Donald Trump will yet again win the city, almost surely by at least a 15% margin, probably more, illustrating that quite a few theoretical “Democrats” who voted for the incumbent mayor in 2019 will (again) opt for an abominable failure of a president in 2020.

How do they sleep at night, these "democrats"? It's been eight years; still, hope springs eternal. I cling to that most faint of pulses, the one suggesting that there'll come a time when they actually remember what it means to be democratic.

---

While we’re on the topic of institutional memory, did you know that National Cognitive Dissonance Day is the oldest public holiday in the United States?

It has been running 24/7/365 since July 4, 1776 (or thereabouts), when the clever rhetorical hocus pocus contrived by wealthy slave owners and wealthy rum trade merchants working together to pontificate about human rights in theory, while acting to enshrine property rights in reality, made lasting hypocrites out of us all.

By the way, is fireworks season over yet?

---

Recent columns:

July 16: ON THE AVENUES: Daniil Kharms, Marina Malich, and writing for the drawer about nothing ... pre-Seinfeld.

July 9: ON THE AVENUES: Mask up, folks. Pints&union is coming back, and we're taking precautions.

July 5: ON THE AVENUES took a week off. Here's what I've been writing while on holiday.

June 25: ON THE AVENUES: I’m invisible, so will you stop insisting you see me?

Pandemically speaking, a mask ordinance is NECESSARY in NA, rather than a non-binding resolution. Democrats can do it, if they choose.

The COVID-19 pandemic is a public health issue, but because "public" means all of us and not merely some, the pandemic's ramifications affect the entire community.

Inevitably, those measures required to deal with a public health crisis of this magnitude must emanate from government as the only conceivable arbiter of the maximum protection for all citizens, not just some.

Yes, I know; public health has become political during the pandemic.

Of course it has. 

Politics is the art and practice of defining power, accumulating power and distributing power. This power is required to make sense of coordinated responses to the pandemic, and we have seen a variety of examples as how it is to be used, or not used, in this escalating situation.

There is a consensus among those trained to consider such matters that masks, while imperfect, are one simple way of restricting the transmission of the coronavirus, along with proper hygiene and social distancing.

Is simple persuasion enough to increase the proportion of purported adults wearing masks, or is something more required?

Unfortunately, no, not alone, although persuasion ultimately is best.

It is my position that New Albany's civic power structure -- ideally bipartisan, but we'll take progress any way we can -- must extract political capital from its seldom-opened wallet and spend it now, when it matters most, in an effort to mandate what simple persuasion doesn't seem to be achieving.

Democrats control the executive and legislative branches of government in New Albany, with a mayor and five council persons. That's a veto-proof majority. Democratic party power in the city is at its highest level in my lifetime.

From the redevelopment commission down to the newest employee at the street department, the vast majority of appointments and sinecures have been the result of Democratic Party patronage. None of the elected officials will be seeking re-election until 2023, and the mayor's success last year in achieving a third consecutive term while increasing his margin of victory gives him a level of power that approaches the zenith of what's ever been witnessed in this city.

Isn't it time to use some of this power?

If this power isn't to be deployed as a means of alleviating risk even to a small degree during the public health crisis of an unprecedented pandemic, when exactly is the right time to consider deploying it?

Concurrently, resolutions are piffle. Anything is better than nothing, and in our form of municipal governance, city council resolutions count for nothing, perhaps even less than nothing.

They're mere statements of intent, required here and there for legal reasons, but otherwise toothless. The coronavirus can be counted upon not to read whatever toothless resolutions this or any other city council authors.

Democrats -- c'mon, really? In political terms, this is a gift. It cannot be about waiting on a Republican governor to mandate masks statewide. It needs to be about illustrating what must be done statewide, doing it locally, and making a head start in our own city.

You have the council votes. Wait ... you DO have the council votes, don't you?

Please tell me that the Democratic Party is united on the topic of a rational, sensible response to a public health crisis, especially when the irrational, insensible response by the Trumpians is final verification of the GOP's fondness for death cults.

Talk of a resolution has been an understandable trial balloon, and a reconnoitering of the perimeter. Good work. Now ditch it, and let's get the ordinance we need for the problem we have -- and yes --  undertake to enforce it.

Even if the enforcement is ineffectual, when it comes to a pandemic something is better than nothing in terms of a response. You can do this. Really.

Here's an article from today's IndyStar, detailing the ways we're losing ground to the coronavirus statewide.

 ... One interim measure many public health experts would like to see is a statewide mask mandate.

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Updates on how the coronavirus is affecting your community and the nation

Four counties, including Marion, and two cities already have put such a measure in place. Increasingly evidence has shown that masks may help prevent the spread of the virus, just as data once attested to the wisdom of wearing a seat belt.

Many other states, including some led by Republican governors, already have taken this step. Two weeks ago Holcomb said he believed that Hoosiers would do the right thing, so rather than mandating masks, he unveiled a public service awareness campaign #MaskUpHoosiers, which encourages them to do so.

But many public health experts say they support a stronger message.

“A lot of times these public health mandates are needed,” said Shandy Dearth, director of the undergraduate epidemiology program at Indiana University’s Fairbanks School of Public Health. “Now is really the time to take more public health action to keep those numbers lower so we don’t have a strain on the public health system.”

Typically toothless city council mask resolution proves that even a pandemic can't compel New Albany’s Democrats to actually GOVERN.

Local Democrats have adhered to the Warren Nash Dictum for the past half-century. It goes like this: "Talk like a liberal, perform like a conservative."

Vote slated on resolution requesting use of face coverings in public (Suddeath; N&T)

The assumption, which to my knowledge has yet to be proven wrong, is that any genuine left/liberal-minded person in New Albany will be content with mere words, not action, and still vote Democratic; meanwhile, the Strom Thurmond Democrats -- still far too much of a thing here -- will vote Democratic for many of the city offices while happily supporting Republicans higher up the ticket.

It's just that simple.

Resolutions are always meaningless; to float one during a public health crisis, declare victory and walk away is, well, disgusting.

What's worse, everyone involves knows it, and yet they gaze at the teleprompter, play their parts, mouth their lines without a trace of conviction, and look forward to the redevelopment commission meetings because the real business of decision-making is conducted by an appointed board.

All right, self-styled progressives. Now we can kick back and wait for Republicans at the state level to take the proper response to the pandemic; we might start trying locally, but our Democrats can't be bothered to govern.

Sorry, love you guys in an ideological sense, but you're prepared to continue rewarding local Democrats for doing nothing, even during a pandemic.

Why can't you see this?

New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan and the Floyd County Democratic Party show support for small independent businesses, and this is to be commended.

You probably don't need reminding, but I've been harshly critical of the Floyd County Democratic Party ... for a very long time.

My criticisms remain intact. It would be nice if we could all sit down and talk through them; however, it's no time to be a Disney-fantasy fetishist.

That's because we have work to do. Disclaimers aside, allow me to commend the Democrats for this post.

Coronavirus begins taking toll on small business

Democrats urge individuals to support local businesses

With Coronavirus now in Floyd County, it is clear the response won't allow us to do business as usual. From the cancellation of recreational events to the closure of dine-in facilities at restaurants, we are all adjusting to a new reality as we work to control the spread of this infection. You can check here for the latest information on the spread of the virus and resulting measures taken by the federal, state and local government.

While health and safety regulation may not allow us to dine-in or utilize services in the traditional ways, we can still work to support our local businesses and their workers. Here are a few quick tips to practice during this period of social distancing:

Carry Out: Dine-in options may be out, but several local restaurants are serving customers through carry-out options. Your purchase of lunch using a carry out option can help these restaurants weather the COVID-19 storm.

Tip: Just because it is carry out, don't forget to tip. Tips go directly to workers and help support those individuals financially.

Gift Cards: Purchase a gift card now to use at a later date. Any dollar amount will help the local business and you can benefit by using the card for future purchases or as a gift.
Check for Social Distancing Accommodations: Some small businesses may be making accommodations for social distancing. These accommodations may enable you to receive a service that otherwise would be unavailable.

Purchase Local Produce: Local farmers will also inevitably feel the impact of COVID-19. Stock-up on local vegetable and other goods produce grown by these vendors. Organizers of local farmers markets can assist - check in with Develop New Albany by clicking here.

Shop online or Over the Phone: Many local businesses have developed online stores or take phone orders. While the physical storefront maybe closed, these businesses will continue to operate and mail out orders.

Check in: Touch base on your favorite boutique owners and ask how you can help. Your interest will let them know you're thinking of them and provide encouragement.

Use Social Media: Use social media to help promote local businesses, share their services, and gather public support. Banding together will help get the word out.

Supporting our local economy has never been more important and we can each make a difference. Let our local business community know we're here for them, even if caution requires us to practice social distancing.

Sincerely,

Adam Dickey
Chair, Floyd County Democratic Party

Solid advice.

And also this, from Monday evening.

This afternoon, Indiana Governor Holcomb ordered restaurants and bars to close dine-in services through the end of March. New Albany has a high number of successful local restaurants and bars, and city government is focused on assisting them through this difficult time.

Earlier today, Mayor Gahan met with owners of some restaurants, bars, and shops to offer city support and to keep lines of communication open. He also addressed concerns of the financial strain that this can put on business owners, their employees, and families of those affected.

Mayor Gahan has, and will continue, to urge state and federal leaders to provide assistance to those most impacted by this pandemic.

Mayor Gahan said, “We are going to get through this. It’s going to take some time – but we will get through this.”

Yes, it's true that Gahan provides little of substance apart from (yet again) urging Republican-controlled government units higher-up to intervene with aid. Yes, it's true that the city was deserted yesterday when he chose to have a walk. But for the consistently agoraphobic mayor to so much as leave his office is a sign of progress, and as such, must be recognized.

I'm told that some local Republicans view the preceding posts from Democrats as political in nature. Under normal circumstances, I might be inclined to agree, but when one takes into consideration our new societal abnormality, it's plain good thinking, and the "right" sort of politics, for them to say these things aloud.

The food and drink segment in the state of Kentucky is reckoned to employ 10% of the state's work force, and the figures probably are similar in Indiana. We're willing (well, in most cases) to take an extreme body blow to do our part, and some businesses won't survive it. Our workers are going to be experiencing disarray and dislocation.

It is fitting and proper for New Albany municipal government and its dominant urban political party to express solidarity.

Obviously plenty of local Republicans also have been highly supportive, whether publicly or privately. Unfortunately, others on the right side of the aisle are on social media displaying what can only be viewed as potentially self-destructive denial.

In political terms, I dislike Jeff Gahan and Adam Dickey. But what they're doing here is a far more useful optic than what I've seen coming from some prominent GOP members.

Speaking for myself, I'm setting aside as many of the usual disagreements as possible, for as long as possible, for the duration of the coronavirus crisis if possible. I needn't love you, vote for you or even tolerate your congenital malfeasance to understand this is a special time, requiring special measures. I don't have the time now to nitpick.

Whenever we come out the other side, all bets are off. At this precise moment, all of us -- you, me, everyone -- need to be thinking about specific ways to be (a) productive, and (b) supportive to members of the community more vulnerable than we are.

Got it?

Good. Let me know if I can help.

Madam, I'm Adam: Local Dem's latest revolving door candidate for District 72 House makes the news.

You'd think Adam could find SOMEONE among the DemoDisneyDixiecrats to run against Ed Clere who isn't a teacher, a former teacher or married to a teacher. I mean, the law of averages, (center) right?

Don't get me wrong. My mother was a teacher, and I grew up around teachers. I made various ineffectual attempts to be a teacher, and often have pretended to be a (beer) teacher. Ed's wife Amy is a teacher. I respect teachers immensely.

It's just this: what's the statistical probability that the Democrats would continue to go to the same well for candidates when it never seems to work out for them?

The last candidate for 72 to fit this bill was shadowy city attorney Shane Gibson, who took time from a busy schedule of depositing big buck bond bonuses to contest the seat in 2010. He lost, thus establishing a pattern that persists to the present day.

Hell, I'll do it in 2022. Ed and I could stage an informative and collegial series of co-campaign events featuring an actual discussion of genuine issues. 

Nah, never mind. Squire Adam wouldn't go for THAT, would he?

Rep. Clere's one-time challenger in 2020 is Erica Lawrence, an educator and principal who works in Louisville, and she's kicking off her campaign at the Division Street School on Sunday, March 15. 

Let's allow the esteemed local party chairman sufficient time to rationalize the following. Surely the departed Kentucky governor Matt Bevin can be blamed for it.

Three more JCPS principals recommended for removal after state audits, by Kevin Wheatley (WDRB)

Three principals at Jefferson County Public Schools have been deemed unfit to lead their struggling schools’ turnaround efforts following diagnostic audits by the Kentucky Department of Education.

That means the state has recommended that nine JCPS principals at schools identified for comprehensive support and improvement shouldn’t be retained in their positions. JCPS Superintendent Marty Pollio will decide whether to retain those principals.

One, former Mill Creek Elementary Principal Michelle Pennix, has already accepted a voluntary reassignment.

In the latest batch of diagnostic reviews released Monday, the state recommended that Engelhard Elementary Principal Ryan McCoy, Trunnell Elementary Principal Stephanie Smith and Young Elementary Principal Erica Lawrence be removed from their schools and reassigned to comparable positions.

Lawrence is a Democratic candidate for Indiana's House of Representatives, challenging Republican Rep. Ed Clere for his seat representing the New Albany area.

JCPS Communications Director Renee Murphy said Pollio will meet with the affected principals and determine next steps at a later date ...

On election eve, "Democrats (and Coffey) Skip New Albany City Council Meeting."

They don't even pretend well, do they?

Democrats, Independent Skip New Albany City Council Meeting, by Nick Vaughn (The Aggregate)

On the eve of municipal elections across Southern Indiana, the New Albany City Council meeting did not have a quorum and could not conduct business. The only council members in attendance were Council President Scott Blair (I) and Republican Councilmen Al Knable, Dave Aebersold, and Dave Barksdale. All Democratic members as well as Independent Councilman Dan Coffey were not in attendance.

While it is not immediately clear why so many council members missed, a source who was present at the meeting stated that Democratic Councilman Greg Phipps "had something come up" while Bob Caesar (D) stated he was going to be campaigning during the meeting's time. Councilman Matthew Nash (D) reportedly gave a personal reason for missing the meeting ...

BREAKING: Jeff Gahan's family wants you to vote for him.

But of course the mayor's family touts daddy's candidacy. That's not exactly a revelation, is it? They can say as they will, and we have the right of rebuttal. Case closed; welcome to adulthood.

Is it Beer Thirty yet?

Of course, it must be remembered that politics is muddy because politics is about power. That's just the way it is. Power can make and break, and politics is the magic dust.

Politics can be made cleaner, primarily via checks, balances and transparency, but it would be a fool's errand to imagine the process of wielding power ever will be pristine.

Folks, social media postings by family members are little more than a tempest in a teapot.

Concurrently, one of the biggest (and most genuine) issues that has been ignored during the current campaign is nepotism.

Following are a few past thoughts. Local DemoDisneyDixiecrats prone to complaining about Donald Trump's children might be wise to take a glance in the mirror, if it isn't already cracked.

Moooving Forward, Part One: But if flood protection requires "improvement" now, was it inadequate before, and why did "improvement" take eight whole years?

Moooving Forward, Part Two: Flood protection, Gahan's ignorance of nepotism and why "great experiences" always cost SOMETHING.

62,572 annual reasons (and 26 cents) why "a great experience is priceless" is the worst answer for any city employee to give.

Yep, Mr. Zevon, the local DemoDisneyDixiecrats have some effed-up shizz. It explains their silence in the face of Slick Jeffie's ethical shambles.

The late, great Warren Zevon (2000).

I have a question for my Democratic friends.

In your own personal world -- your life, not the lives of others -- do you believe the end justifies the means?

Do you believe it doesn't matter if people and principles are trampled, so long as you get what you want?

Do the rights and wrongs of the procurement process matter, or is to have and to hold the exciting bright and shiny object enough for you?

How's it working out for you to become accustomed to cringing and looking the other way?

This fall many of my friends will have cast their ballots for Gahan, a mayor who has consistently fudged, bullied and self-monetized his means in justification of his ends.

Friends having done so remain friends all the same, at least on my end. But I harbor the strong suspicion that many of these same voters don't sanction those means embodied by Gahan's political behavior when they pertain to the ends in their own private worlds.

I suppose they tolerate it from Gahan because the daily rationalizations borne of Democratic Party affiliation are all too easy: the "nice" things they choose to see look so good; all politicians are corrupt but he's on OUR team; we can always pay the bills some other time; or least convincing of all, "the Republicans are worse."

This entire year I've been asking the following questions of Democrats. I'd ask them of Gahan himself, although as we know transparency and accessibility are the very least of his considerations -- and he routinely refuses to debate political opponents.

• So tell me, why does Gahan get a pass from you when he can't tell the truth about budgets, rate increases, taxes and TIF debt?
• Is saying that "things look good" satisfactory without asking how they got that way, and who's paying the bills?
• Have you noticed that every street grid "improvement" hailed as a victory for walkability actually enhances car-centrism?
• Why does one man need almost $700,000 in career campaign donations, or to spend more than $200,000 of it in one year?
• Does it bother you that these out-of-town special interest donors receive no-bid contracts and sinecures, just like magic?
• What is there in the Democratic Party platform that encourages "luxury" development to the exclusion of public/affordable housing occupants?
• Is it a healthy civic trend for mayors to bully and harass city employees whose only offense is to opt out from worship of him?
• Isn't the "silo" approach of all decision-making, emanating from a tiny clique at the top of a pyramid, ultimately injurious to our city's success?
• Isn't Gahan's personality cult akin to self-deification, and can this ever be a sign of stable mental health?

The only substantive comment I've received in return all year long came from an Independent/Libertarian, which of course I appreciate. It would be nice to hear a die-hard Democrat answer the preceding questions.

Although the fact of their persistent refusal tells us quite a lot about cognitive dissonance, doesn't it?

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ON THE AVENUES: Socialists for Seabrook, because we desperately need a new beginning in New Albany.

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Election 2019: The buying and selling of a city, or our updated master list of 73 Gahan wheel-greasers, a veritable pornographic potpourri of pay-to-play.

These 30 free-spending special interest donors top Jeff Gahan's 2019 pay-to-play campaign finance windfall of $150,000 (so far).

CFA-4 Follies: OMG, just look at Gahan's huge pile of special interest donor cash flowing to out-of-towners.

ON THE AVENUES: In which Team Gahan's looming appointment with unemployment is examined.

Many readers have been asking me what I think about the municipal election, which will conclude around 6:00 p.m. on Tuesday, November 5. You're entitled to my opinion, so here goes.

Previously I issued my endorsements:

• Vote Stefanie Griffith for New Albany City Council District 1.
• Vote Scott Stewart for New Albany City Council District 2.
• Vote for Thunder the Wonder Ferret as a write-in for New Albany City Council District 3.
• Vote Cisa Kubley for New Albany City Council District 4.
• Vote Josh "JT" Turner for New Albany City Council District 5.
• Vote Scott Blair for New Albany City Council District 6.
• Vote Al Knable and Christina Estill for New Albany City Council At-Large.
• Vote your conscience for New Albany City Clerk, as both candidates are excellent.
• ON THE AVENUES: Socialists for Seabrook, because we desperately need a new beginning in New Albany.

As for who I think will win the 2019 New Albany municipal election, first consider the results of the last 12 elections.

1971: Democratic challenger Warren Nash defeats Republican incumbent Garnett Inman, 9,097 to 6,180.
Total votes: 15,277
Percentage: 60 - 40

1975: Republican challenger Robert Real defeats Nash, 9,264 to 4,763.
Total votes: 14,027
Percentage: 66 - 34

1979: Real defeats Democratic challenger John Stein, 6,637 to 3,801.
Total votes: 10,438
Percentage: 64 -36

1983: Democratic challenger Charles Hunter defeats Real, 6,148 to 5,888.
Total votes: 12,036
Percentage: 51 - 49

1987: Real defeats Hunter, 6,005 to 5,467.
Total votes: 11,472
Percentage: 52 - 48

1991: Democrat Doug England (4,785) defeats Independent Phyllis Garmon (4,154) and Republican Kenny Keilman (2,344).
Total votes: 11,283
Percentage: 42 – 37 - 21

1995: England defeats Real, 6,573 to 5,628.
Total votes: 12,201
Percentage: 54 - 46

1999: Republican challenger Regina Overton defeats England, 5,512 to 4,205.
Total votes: 9,717
Percentage: 57 - 43

2003: Democratic challenger James Garner defeats Overton, 5,971 to 3,893; 196 votes cast for Melanie Hughes (Libertarian).
Total votes: 10,600
Percentage: 59 – 39 – 2

2007: England defeats Randy Hubbard (Republican), 4,017 to 3,741.
Total votes: 7,758
Percentage: 52 - 48

2011: Democrat Jeff Gahan (4,506) defeats Republican Dale “DM” Bagshaw (1,389), Independent Jack Messer (1,024) and Libertarian Thomas Keister (88).
Total votes: 7,007
Percentage: 64 – 20 – 15 – 1

2015: Democrat Jeff Gahan (3,527) defeats Republican Kevin Zurschmiede (2,695) and Independent Roger A. Baylor (462).
Total votes: 6,684
Percentage: 53 - 40 - 7

The first and most noticeable trend is declining voter participation. In 2015 there were 4,000 fewer voters than in 2003. That’s a precipitous and stunning drop-off. Even if turnout modestly increases in 2019 (in spite of there being little reason to anticipate this), the long-term reality suggests an inexorable decline, with a few hundred more opting out this year.

These vaporized voters may or may not be a bad thing. Ask the 25% of eligible voters who took part in the 2015 election about persistent low turnout and they’d probably cite a civic duty to vote, expressing personal annoyance with low turnout. Then again, half the drivers on Spring Street as I walked to work in a pea soup fog on Monday morning didn’t think it was necessary to activate their car’s head lights.

Probably the only way the decline could be substantively reversed is holding municipal elections in the same years as presidential elections and mid-term congressional elections, which bring out bigger crowds, although this doesn’t appear likely.

Moving along, the historical math is clear.

Mayors in New Albany who run for a third term receive fewer votes than they scored the first two times. There hasn’t been a successful candidacy for a third term in City Hall since C. Pralle Erni, the FDR of New Albany politics, who won four consecutive terms from 1948 through 1963.

It’s unclear why third-term mayoral seekers do badly even as council representatives remain in office for multiple terms. Bob Real barely lost to Charles Hunter in 1983, while Regina Overton hammered Doug England in 1999. Both Real and England were popular enough, and both won second terms decisively (both also were elected mayor a third time, albeit non-consecutively).

Perhaps in a two-party duopoly like ours, eight years is plenty of time for the losing political party to siphon support, work back channels and mount a winning bid the third time out. Fatigue sets in after eight years as voters tire of the incumbent; as such, a new face (any new face) from the opposition is attractive.

This year in Jeffersonville might prove an exception; Mike Moore is seeking a third term and looks strong, but then again the face chosen by Democrats to challenge Moore is Tom Galligan, himself a former mayor and longtime wheeler-dealer, and hardly a breath of fresh air by any definition.

Against this backdrop we see that Gahan dropped 1,000 votes between 2011 and 2015, then hemorrhaged another 300 in the 2019 primary. Some of these departing voters succumbed to low-turnout indifference. Others sided with David White during his two Democratic Party primary insurgencies and did not return in the fall. Some died; some moved.

Some may have found a different religion. Others want to know when they can vote for Trump again. Conversely, perhaps getting to know Gahan better isn't a tremendously positive experience.

Using the 2015 numbers as a yardstick, the decline in Gahan’s support might find him with as few as 3,200 reliable votes for the general election in 2019; recall that around 1,400 Democratic voters opted for White in 2019, as they did in 2015, and it’s a safe assumption that these voters have strong feelings against Gahan and will not return to the party line in November.

(By the way, NA Confidential approves of this thought process.) 

It’s also a safe assumption that few of my 2015 supporters (492) aim to support Gahan in 2019. Combine them with Kevin Zurschmiede’s 2,695 tally in 2015, factor Gahan’s primary drop-off in the primary this year, and the race is a dead heat at around 3,100 votes each for Gahan and Seabrook.

Concurrently, while it would be overly-simplistic to suggest that all of my 2015 general election voters and all of White’s 2019 primary voters will swing to the Republicans, joining Zurschmiede’s supporters to produce an epic beat-down against Gahan, the scenario need be only half accurate for it to be a very bad omen for the incumbent.

New Albany political history in my own lifetime reveals that it is entirely possible for a New Albany mayor to be viciously humiliated in a re-election bid. Witness one Warren Nash, Gahan’s cadaverous and enduringly vacuous mentor, who won 60% of the vote in a winning bid in 1971 but then just 34% in 1975 while suffering a cataclysmic landslide loss.

In short, the electoral math has been favorable for Seabrook from the beginning, which explains (a) Gahan’s crazed drunken sailor's expenditure of $200,000 so far this year, and (b) the Democratic Party’s hair-trigger willingness to lose their minds and go appallingly negative in the campaign’s final days.

Paranoia, the destroyer.

This is the Alamo insofar as the Democratic Party’s privileged upper echelons are concerned, and who better to inspire them to near insanity than Seabrook, their arch enemy. The top dogs grasp fully that Gahan’s complete, unquestioned control of the party brings with it certain negatives, namely that if the mayor suddenly becomes the ex-mayor, their gravy train goes flying from the tracks.

Thus the rabid flailing of Tricky Dickey’s sycophantic stalwarts is understandable; obviously those with the most to lose have turned into yes-men and yes-women of the most odious obsequiousness, and yet just as obviously not every voter leaning Democratic shares this view, or else there wouldn’t have been 1,400 votes cast for David White in the primary.

In effect, these are the swing votes, and Seabrook is uniquely well-positioned to swing them.

Seabrook is the highest-profile Republican candidate for mayor since Regina Overton ran for re-election (and lost) in 2003. He possesses two potent wild cards unavailable to the Democrats, both realities of which are incapable of being gauged (and gouged) by campaign finance alone.

First, Seabrook’s unimpeachable career as a funeral home owner and director is an asset of incalculable value to his reputation, quite apart from his parallel experience in politics. Being helpful to people at their hour of greatest emotional need has a lasting effect far outweighing Gahan’s career in veneer sales or my lifetime spent pushing beer across a bar. What’s more, Seabrook’s legacy in this sense is felt most keenly by older voters – i.e., those most likely to vote.

Second, Seabrook’s campaign has benefited mightily from the grassroots energy generated by the Republican Party's well-chosen roster of city council and city clerk candidates, of whom there’ll be more to say in a moment. While Gahan saturation-bombs with San Francisco-inspired mailers from the skies via his bountiful special interest cash air force, Republican candidates erode shoe leather with enthusiastic and broadly smiling faces in a meticulous ground game led by incumbent at-large councilman Al Knable.

In many respects, Seabrook is wisely leveraging the coattails of his high-quality fellow Republican Party candidates, and his willingness to be part of a team effort like this speaks positively to the prospects for a deep, talented City Hall team once he becomes mayor, as opposed to the ludicrous cult of personality built by Gahan.

Still, there is another wild card in play this year: Dan Coffey, onetime Democrat turned independent, running as a “none of the above” brigand in 2019 just as I did in 2015.

Coffey has been the 1st district councilman for two decades, almost all of it identifying ostensibly as a Democrat, and his core of support lies in the city’s west end, especially at Riverview Towers, the high-rise public housing unit for the elderly currently being depopulated by Gahan for reasons as yet unclear.

As noted previously, I may be the only person in the city who takes Coffey at his word with respect to his motives for seeking the office of mayor. Coffey’s resourceful political arsenal may still be intact, but something has changed with him; health, age or religion, and it doesn’t matter which, except he’s not exactly the same copperhead he used to be.

Sticking to practical terms, will Coffey’s vote total next Tuesday help/hurt Gahan or Seabrook?

You might say that Coffey always has been an old-school conservative Democrat, implying that those choosing him as mayor would otherwise opt for Seabrook. There is some truth in this, although in a city where so few “Democrats” are left of center in any real sense, it’s a muddle defying easy categorization.

I think Coffey will get votes from right-leaning Democrats who have been disillusioned during recent cycles and stopped voting in local races, as with former councilman Steve Price’s core supporters in the 3rd district. Coffey will get a few hundred votes out of his own 1st district, and a handful elsewhere. He’ll surely top my independent tally from 2015, if for no other reason than name recognition (read: persistent notoriety).

However Coffey’s name on the ballot will not sway the mass of committed Democrats or Republicans. He’ll take some away from both, but I disagree with my esteemed colleague the Bookseller and believe Coffey’s candidacy stands to erase far more votes from Gahan’s ledger than Seabrook’s. This may be no more than a net loss of 200 to the Democrats, but in a race this close, that’s a lot, and it means the ultimate winner might not top 3,000 votes.

To summarize, I believe the dustbin of history awaits Team Gahan, and if we're lucky the show trials will begin by Christmas.

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The at-large council race is quite interesting this year. Barring Russian vodka-bot intervention, incumbent Knable (R) is a lock both to keep his seat and to run for mayor in 2023. Knable is Seabrook’s ground game manager and revels in the exercise. He stands to receive the most votes of any candidate.

Of the remaining aspirants, incumbent David Barksdale (R) and challenger Jason Applegate (D) are in the strongest position to win for precisely the same reason, albeit reversed: Barksdale is a Democrat who pretends to be Republican, and Applegate a Republican now masquerading as a Democrat.

Some hardline Republican voters will punish Barksdale for his pro-Reisz Mahal sell-out, but most won’t; they sense a tsunami coming and will pragmatically vote to encourage it.

Whatever support Barksdale loses on the right will be compensated by quasi-pretend-progressives in and near the Spring and Main Kool Aid Corridors. Meanwhile, Applegate was a lifelong Republican until his ownership of Extol Magazine made a political brand change feasible in 2018.

However, a significant caveat: Democrats Christina Estill and Sam Charbonneau clearly are outworking Applegate on the campaign trail, as noted by Nick Vaughn in his election preview at The Aggregate News. One of them could easily sneak past Applegate, and if this occurs, I favor Estill.

I’d be content to see Republicans sweep the remaining races in a swirling display of rage against the Gahanite machine, but that’s too much to hope for. Remember, my picks reflect who I think will be the winning candidates, not necessarily the ones I support or chose at the polls.

1st Stephanie Griffith (R)
2nd Scott Stewart (R)
3rd Greg Phipps (D)
4th Pat McLaughlin (D)
5th Josh “JT” Turner (R)
6th Scott Blair (I)

This leaves the contest for city clerk, not necessarily a marquee job or a political race (city clerk should be an apolitical position), just an important one. Incumbent Vicki Glotzbach must be considered the favorite, although as the county election cycle in 2018 illustrated, high Republican voter participation could upset the apple cart as it did then in the county clerk's office.

I was undecided until the last minute, but challenger Kelly Feiock’s detailed answers in the special newspaper section displayed a vivid commitment to transparency in keeping with the gist of the entire GOP campaign to date, and I opted for her.

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This is it: Gahan and the Democrats have built a political patronage system dependent on fat cat donors and padlocked file cabinets, and the Republicans are encouraging Mr. Dickey to tear down that stiflingly corrupt wall. In fact the 30th anniversary of the Berlin Wall’s collapse is coming in November, and I can think of no better analogy for what’s about to happen to local Democrats.

Not only will they be ceding power, but it’s going to be lost to them for a very long time.

Remember, this city belongs to us -- not HWC Engineering, Jorge Lanz or Clark Dietz.

Paybacks are hell, and I’m going to richly enjoy this one.

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Recent columns:

October 3: ON THE AVENUES: The cold hard truth, or just plain Slick Jeffie-inflicted consequences.

September 26: ON THE AVENUES: Socialists for Seabrook, because we desperately need a new beginning in New Albany.

September 12: ON THE AVENUES: There's no business like no business, and it's none of your business (2016).

Tricky Dickey's latest malicious misdirection won't hunt, because Mark Seabrook was a county commissioner, not the "mayor" of Floyd County.

The Floyd County Democratic Party will go to any length to avoid acknowledging Jeff Gahan's pervasive monetization fetish.

Pay-han's only real achievement during eight years in office has been the meticulous revitalization of the Tammany Hall model of grubby pay-to-play political patronage, while the self-identified "progressives" stare off into space, unable to consistently apply their presumed standards of social and economic justice to obvious matters like the culture of pure corruption flouted by their local mayoral Disney wannabe.

Recently the GOP has had the unmitigated gall to examine Gahan's unchecked accumulation of debt. Tricky Dickey quickly mounted his rickety Kool Aid soapbox in righteous indignation, shrilly squeaking the only reply local Democrats are ever able to muster: "WE REEK TO HIGH HEAVEN, BUT THE REPUBLICANS IN COUNTY GOVERNMENT ARE WORSE." 

Specifically, Squire Adam's refrain: Because he was county commissioner, Mark Seabrook is to blame for county government's budgetary iniquities. 

Well not exactly, but nice try. You may wish to hold on to your day job.

It's fitting and proper that the two political parties hurl mud back and forth, but let's get a few facts straight with regard to roles (thanks to Commissioner Billy Stewart for posting these points at Facebook).

• The County Commissioners are NOT the Fiscal Body of County Government.
• They don't set budgets for the County.
• They didn't pass the jail tax, as the County Council only had the authority to do so.
• The County, like EVERY other unit of local government, has to have a balanced budget. 

"In a nut shell, Adam doesn't seem to understand how Floyd County government operates. County government is NOT city government. Commissioners are NOT mayors!"

In a mounting sign of desperation, Gahan and the DemoDisneyDixiecrats are going full-tilt negative slimeball against Mark Seabrook.

Tricky Dickey has outdone himself. There's now a web site devoted to fact-checking, or myth creation (hard to tell the difference when it comes to THAT group) and the announcement is noteworthy because Adam quotes himself three times.

Like he mattered, or something.

Couple this latest Dickeyite meltdown with the highly entertaining DemoDisneyDixiecratic apoplexy (sorry, Shane) over Senator Todd Young's endorsement of Seabrook, and add a dash of veteran Indiana political analyst Brian Howey's targeting of New Albany as a prime locale for a change of party in the mayor's seat, and you get Jeff Gahan's snarling, vicious true political nature finally out in the open for all to see.

Yes, I know -- Gahan will say it's the party, not the candidate, but we all know the party is skint without Gahan's bulging bank account. Let the sitting mayor disavow the attacks if negativity somehow disturbs him.

We know better, don't we? Read about Tricky's latest Goebbels moment, right here -- and don't forget that at least one DemoDisneyDixiecratic council candidate has told the truth this campaign season.

Jason is said to be a close friend of Seabrook's. I wonder how he feels about his party's decision to plunge to rock bottom with negative campaigning?

GIVE GAHAN THE BOOT: (Thursday) That Jeff Gahan has elevated people like David Duggins to positions of authority is reason enough to vote against the Genius of the Floodplain.

Last week was Harvest Homecoming, and my city's favorite amok time kept me pinned to the tarmac, but now we're back to what passes for normal here in New Gahania, where "We're All Here Because We're Not All THERE."

This week as a run-up to Decision 2019, I'm headed back into the ON THE AVENUES archive for five straight days of devastatingly persuasive arguments against four more years of the Gahan Family Values™ Personality Cult. I've already made the case for Mark Seabrook as mayor.

Now let's return to the voluminous case against Gahanism in five informative and entertaining installments.

During Jeff Gahan's 2011 campaign for mayor, he proffered numerous private assurances to the effect that two-way streets and traffic calming would be priorities. In retrospect the fact that these promises were not a matter of the public record was ominous.

It took five years and another election for Gahan to actually get around to implementing a two-way grid reversion downtown, and hindsight also affords us the opportunity to see that the project, as eventually dumbed-down, emasculated and diluted from consultant Jeff Speck's suggestions -- shall we say, Gahanized? -- would not ever be brought to fruition without being tied to the system of pay-to-play political patronage which has been Gahan's only true accomplishment in office.

In short, until no-bid contracts for firms like HWC Engineering could be spider-webbed to produce maximum campaign finance enhancement, matters like safety and support for independent small businesses were of no consequence to Gahan ... and his minions, chief among them David Duggins, who at the time was married to HWC's local queenpin.

Hence the following Rubicon crossing moment, as recounted in ON THE AVENUES in late 2014. A little more than two years later, the starving public servant Duggins was dispatched to serve as Exalted Grand Poobah at the New Albany Housing Authority, seized by Gahan in the same fashion as European imperialists used to pluck colonies like lush grapes from the hands of vestal virgins, and handed to Duggins along with what probably was the single largest pay increase ever witnessed by a bureaucrat in New Albany.

But that's another story. Neither Gahan's street grid cowardice nor his poor taste in underlings was the first manifestation of Jeff Gahan's "inspired by Pyongyang" personality cult. In the grand tradition of failed watercolor artists, seminary students and cobblers, this middling veneer salesman concluded early in the game that destiny was clearing a path for his brilliance -- and we've been reminded of it on a daily basis ever since.

Why?

GIVE GAHAN THE BOOT: (Monday) The Reisz Mahal luxury city hall, perhaps the signature Gahan boondoggle.

GIVE GAHAN THE BOOT: (Tuesday) Gahan the faux historic preservationist demolishes the historic structure -- with abundant malice.

GIVE GAHAN THE BOOT: (Wednesday) The shopping cart mayor's cartoonish veneer of a personality cult. Where do we tithe, Leader Dearest?

GIVE GAHAN THE BOOT: (Thursday) That Jeff Gahan has elevated people like David Duggins to positions of authority is reason enough to vote against the Genius of the Floodplain.

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November 20, 2014

ON THE AVENUES: Really, the word “progressive” embarrasses you? That’s okay, because political cowardice disgusts me.

A weekly web column by Roger A. Baylor.

We’ve all experienced those disturbing times during a verbal debate when you know you’ve been whipped.

Your opponent’s grasp of facts and overall rhetorical excellence has you pinned, wiggle room is gone, and disaster looms. You can hope only to limit the damage, and perhaps survive to debate another day.

So it was that one of those times did not occur on Tuesday morning, during or after the merchant meeting, when the city’s economic development director, David Duggins, both publicly and privately read me what he imagined was an impassioned riot act.

Unfortunately, all he managed to do was concede almost every point we’ve tried to make in the past year with respect to City Hall’s persistent errors, with the result that the third floor’s credibility reserve is coughing vapors.

It may have been exasperation, anger, envy at City Hall’s inability to respond in kind, or maybe even exhausted vulnerability. I’m intentionally omitting delusional arrogance, but whatever the rationale, Mr. Duggins’s words to me formed a composite, abject expression of institutional impotence, one reeking of raw political terror, and offering further ample evidence that especially since November 4, when the local Democratic Party suffered a purely epic thrashing at the polls, the once mighty machine’s threadbare wheels have thrown their bolts and are rolling merrily across the landscape.

The cement blocks are being fetched, a motley collection of meth heads stands by eager to salvage copper wiring, and a fleet of U-Hauls are being dispatched to facilitate the magic kingdom’s overdue housecleaning. Surveying the carnage, Dixiecrat Party chairman Adam Dickey has chosen the junior high school tactic of censoring social media, but it’ll take more than a prayer breakfast and another failed “get out the vote” drive to avoid impending disintegration.

My shovel’s in hand. Just tell me where to dig. Better yet, maybe a few of us can dig together.

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Mr. Duggins said many amazing things during the course of the group meeting and the private chat following it. Once my jaw dropped the first time, I left it safely on the floor to avoid over-exertion.

Although Mr. Duggins has not ever owned an independent local business, he freely offered marketing advice to those who do. He took a departed shop owner to task for being a complainer, when all she ever did was ask why the city allowed an adjoining building to fall quite literally to pieces outside her front window.

Perhaps the building commissioner was busy leveling historic buildings elsewhere.

Mr. Duggins openly conceded that the city does not customarily address sidewalks or sewers until a developer or realtor steps in, and an investor makes the first expenditure, and he brushed aside the counter argument that doing so beforehand actually might spur greater investment and constitute an actual economic development program, as opposed to piecemeal infusions of scattershot cash.

But it was my prodding on two-way streets, traffic calming and walkability that prompted the most memorable portion of the dialogue, and in the process, snapped this camel’s back.

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To reprise, it has long been NAC’s contention that compared with pro-active “by the usual chamber of commerce numbers” efforts aimed at economic development as defined by the tired imperative of the suburban industrial park, this administration has neither understood the economic implications of independent local business, nor has bothered to openly embrace any organized, overt effort or plan to be of assistance to them.

Furthermore, while conceding that an economic development plan for independent local businesses, especially those located in a bloc amid the historic business district core, might be an unfair challenge to One Southern Indiana caliber non-thinkers in the absence of readily identifiable templates, we’ve insisted that thinking outside self-imposed boxes is by no means impossible. After all, these independent local businesses have invested heavily in themselves, with time, money and enthusiasm – and with almost no assistance from municipal governmental entities apart from “moral” support.

This is why we’ve consistently pointed to the city’s street grid as the ideal, contemporary infrastructure “bonus” readily available for molding into an asset occupying an extensive geographical area, one that enhances the urban experience for residents and visitor alike, whether working, shopping or living in or near downtown.

We’ve pointed to walkable and bikeable streets as an organic whole, running two ways, completed and calmed, and connected to IU Southeast, the Purdue Center, the Greenway and the Knobs, comprising New Albany’s only realistic equivalent of a magnet and generator comparable to the Big Four Bridge in Jeffersonville, because what makes the Big Four so special is that it is not at all special – it is open and available for public use every single day, not every now and then.

So it might be with two-way streets and walkability in New Albany, which brings us to the Jeff Speck study, as commissioned a full two years after mayor Jeff Gahan took office, in spite of campaign assurances that street reform would be pursued energetically.

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And so it transpired that when queried about two-way streets, Mr. Duggins revealed a mind-blowing factoid guaranteed to impress, nay, astound, those who closely follow local events. For not once but twice, and in the strongest terms, he demanded that I come to grips with the ongoing Jeff Gahan term as undoubtedly the most progressive era in recent New Albany municipal history, and quite likely the most progressive period ever -- in a city that celebrated its 196th birthday just last year.

As proof, Mr. Duggins pointed in effect to the very absence of two-way street conversions, asking me to accept as evidence of City Hall’s innate progressivism an unrealized, barely enunciated intent – the many shadowy, non-transparent, Rosenbargian behind-the-scenes steps the city has taken thus far to commission Speck’s study, and to perhaps someday glacially come around to considering the incremental possibility of timidly sticking its toes into the waters of two-way streets and an accompanying, comprehensive street grid reform plan.

You see? Dyed-in-the-wool progressivism … in camouflage.

I was very confused. In fact, only moments before this presentation of Gahan’s solidly FDR-like progressive record, and still quite dazed at the Orwellian fog suddenly shrouding the proceedings, Mr. Duggins had somewhat imperiously dismissed the notion that those business owners in attendance might wish to talk about the street grid. Mind you, it was not his meeting to chair, and not his agenda to write. In essence, he refused to address the topic publicly. In fairness, he probably wasn’t happy with me for asking questions of substance.

Since he wouldn’t talk about streets while the others were there, I was compelled to wait until they had gone, and only then asked: If City Hall is a progressive entity, and if it recognizes the absolute necessity of street grid reform to help people like those in the room, as well as neighborhoods and the city’s prospects overall – as it constantly claims it does, privately – then in the name of wholly Jeeebus, why not lead the discussion?

Why not make sure that independent local business owners know the proven record of two way streets in promoting downtown business districts?

Why not make sure that neighborhood residents know the proven record of walkability enhancement in improving quality of life and lifting their property values?

Why not ensure support for the reform by getting out in front of the issue, driving it, and doing precisely what advocates are supposed to do?

Fairly paraphrased, here is the reply.

While impeccably progressive, City Hall could not possibly appear to be advocating progressive measures, not ever, because to do so would be to enable the administration’s powerful and dangerous naysaying enemies, who in spite of Jeff Gahan’s 64% vote tally in 2011 – the most lopsided majority in decades – somehow retain their uncanny ability to disrupt the mayor’s well-ordered universe at the merest hint of progressive leanings, because the “Old Guard” would be incited to … to …

To do what, exactly?

Well, to name the most prominent living example, any public appearance of progressivism on the part of City Hall would incite “Old Guard” stalwarts like Republican county commissioner Mark Seabrook -- of course the mayor dramatically and repeatedly spit in his eye during the course of the city-county parks department split, but that was different -- to rear back and belittle the helpless mayor by bellowing, “Ha Ha – you’re just appeasing those nasty progressives with two-way streets! Whatcha gonna do next, have some kind of FAIRNESS ordinance?" 

(Yes, I know what you’re thinking, but no. I’m paraphrasing, but honoring the tone. How could I make this up?)

Hence, the institutionalized New Albany City Hall Department of the Way on Down, Down Low, shielding the progressivism that dare not speak its name, a malady that only Speck’s study can dissipate, because then, and only then, can an administration with a 2/3 electoral mandate, but which remains terrified of Seabrook’s schoolyard taunts, finally point to the egg-head consultant’s findings and deploy them as the political cover it cannot function without. Note that I’d freely accused them of this very weakness on numerous occasions – and now the city’s economic development director wasn’t even trying to deny it.

Being the stubborn sort, I persisted: And yet, really, why couldn’t City Hall engage small business owners to explain the virtues of a walkable street grid?

If we did that and even one small business failed, they’d blame us.

Of course, right now, as it stands, the city’s interminable, fear-driven delay of street grid reform is quite effectively achieving the very same result, by leaving in place a one-way arterial street grid that nullifies every penny-ante ribbon cutting and “stay open late” promotion tossed into the air by increasingly desperate indie shop owners in the absence of a downtown economic development plan, because while street grid reform could be so very helpful, and constitute an economic development plan in itself, it would fatally embarrass a Democratic mayor to be seen openly advocating it.

It's exactly as if Gahan were to say it's okay to be gay, just as long as you don't kiss in public.

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It’s simple.

I’m proud to be identified as a progressive, and what's more, I'm capable of presenting my reasons and arguing my points. But I’m far more ashamed of myself for supporting Gahan in 2011 than he is embarrassed at the ignominy of the term “progressive.” All I can do is learn from my mistakes. He doesn't believe he's made any. There's a difference.

One more thing.

Late in the chat, Mr. Duggins suggested I stop lashing the discredited, careerist city me-development wrecker John Rosenbarger, saying that at best, he was no more than a figurehead for the Main Street plan, and cannot be blamed for constantly acting through the years in such a way as to maintain his employment, even if it meant a steady stream of blatant lies sufficient to make Pinocchio blush.

I shrugged, but Mr. Duggins continued, assuring me that he’d never be one of those careerists like Rosenbarger; after all, he certainly isn’t making very much money working for the city of New Albany, and while personally loyal to the sitting mayor, he’d someday get out when the getting was good.

Teeth clenched, I smiled.

As one who has invested his entire life savings in a downtown business, and arises each day wondering when or if there'll be a return, there’s nothing like having the city's economic development director -- you know, the one without an economic development plan -- tell you that hes footloose and fancy free, and able to leave any time he wishes.

I won’t even waste a stray “go to hell” or "fuck off" on cluelessness of that astounding magnitude.

It's quite enough, thank you. If you refuse to take ownership, you’re not getting credit. Blame is another matter. Local Democrats in general, and the current administration in particular, always have dismissed progressive ideas because they feared no consequences. As such, we’re obliged to try to prove them wrong.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines, because the insurgency begins right ... now.