Showing posts with label Dr. Tom Harris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dr. Tom Harris. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 02, 2020

ON THE AVENUES: PourGate (the Great Beer Pour War of 2013): "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."


Last evening (1 December 2020) two of three Floyd County Commissioners declined to certify another four-year term for Dr. Thomas Harris as county health officer. 

John Boyle has the story at 89.3 WFPL, noting "none of the three commissioners, all Republicans, discussed the matter before the vote, and all have been vague about their reasoning to move away from Harris, the county’s top health official."

Speaking for myself, I've no complaints about Dr. Harris's handling of pandemic-related. He may have done too little, but that's a result of the right wing's hold on state government; doing anything at all in a proactive sense during a public health emergency automatically placed Harris far above every other county and city official of either major political party in this miserably reactionary vicinity.


Yet again, a complete lack of transparency and openness on the part of local elected officials means we must read tea leaves as to the whys and wherefores, but there is one scenario that might rationally explain the tight lips of the commissioners, and this is the expectation of a lawsuit (or multiple lawsuits) against the county pertaining to the workplace environment at the health department. 

This has been a persistent rumor for a long time, and allow me to stress that while there is no proof, such an eventuality would justify the prevailing reticence. As a caveat, let it be understood that none of this is to be construed as criticism of the front line health department workers. The shop floor is working hard. As oft times before, we speak here of upper management's inadequacies, and the buck stops with Dr. Harris.

Recalling the dominance of the Republican Party in Floyd County government, as opposed to Democratic Party control of the city of New Albany, the Green Mouse asked around and was told in essence that behind-the-scenes factions have been applying pressure for Dr. Harris' removal. 

At the risk of oversimplification, these factions comprise a center-moderate wing (yes, it does exist) with at least one candidate in mind, and the lunatic fringe of pandemic-denying Trumpist idolatry (you KNOW they exist). The position of the commissioners seems to be that whomever is inserted into the job by the health department's board will pay sufficient heed to COVID automatically, as if by magic, leaving them to juggle factions and tend to their own warring power elites.    
So it goes, and here we are. I've expressed support for Dr. Harris, and see no reason to backtrack, but now it's moot. More than one reader expressed shock and amazement with regard to my advocacy of Dr. Harris amid this politics-first kerfuffle, no doubt recalling PourGate, the Great Beer Pour War of 2013, when he tried to grab authority that wasn't his for the taking, and was rebuffed at every level of state government, rightfully so. 

Let's revisit.

On June 14, 2013, the New Albanian Brewing Company was peaceably vending beer at Bicentennial Park, by means of a supplemental catering permit issued by the company's governing agency, the Indiana Alcohol and Tobacco Commission.

The Floyd County Health Department arrived and said that NABC also needed a temporary food serving permit.

I said no, that's entirely incorrect. They persisted and a two-year-long struggle commenced. For a complete compendium of NAC links telling the excruciating story of PourGate, go here:

May 20, 2015: PourGate 2013: It took two years, but this new law silences Dr. Tom Harris and the Floyd County Health Department.

It's all plague under the pustules now, but don't be surprised if this inscription appears on my tombstone: "He Helped Vanquish the Health Fascists in the Great Beer Pour War, Then Died Anyway, Just Like Everyone Else."

To connect PourGate with the current situation, especially the recurring gossip about Dr. Harris' management style, here's a reprint of what remains the single most read "guest column" in the blog's history (August 1, 2013). Say what you will about my reputation for stridency, but the fact is that I can have a conversation with just about anyone on any side of this or the other divide. 

Except Dr. Harris. Insert "shrugging" emoji here.

---

ON THE AVENUES:  "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor. Today's guest columnist is Dr. Thomas Harris.

In the interest of fairness, I've invited Dr. Tom Harris, much decorated generalissimo of the Floyd County Health Department, to write this guest column offering his side of the recent unpleasantness. Looking at the whole situation dispassionately, Dr. Harris and I have quite a lot in common. Both of us were born, grew up, went to school, and received college degrees. I'm a professional in my field, as he is in his. In fact, it is to be imagined that we undulate, conjugate, ejaculate and defecate in similar ways, if not exactly the same -- unless, of course, he’s a space alien, and he is, and so the following is satire, pure and simple.

If you assume I’ll begin this essay by thanking a lowly brewer for affording a rebuttal to his serial insolence, think again.

One should never assume -- you'll make an ass out of yourself, certainly not me, because after all, I'm a doctor. The grandeur of my medical world view inevitably comes with the position, i.e., the rarefied territory of my critical role as guarantor of public health and safety.

The rest of you should just get the hell out of my way.

Let's get right down to brass tacks. Baylor, how dare you suggest that beer and brewing constitutes a “profession” in the same sense as a board-certified emergency medical pioneer like me. Every single day, our trained medical elites soothe suffering and save lives.

And you? You slouch at the tavern, sink into your cups, ruin your liver and foster bitterness toward those laudable over-achievers who possess my skill set and sheer dedication to public health and safety – whether the public understands any of it or not.

Because they seldom do, and mine is a tireless task, indeed.

It probably has escaped your notice, since not one of you care very much about public health and safety, not to mention your own disgusting standards of personal hygiene, but vast numbers of our fellow Americans are clueless sheep wallowing in a medieval squalor of bacteria. If not for the efforts of selfless heroes like me, you'd doubtless be bathing daily in your own raw sewage.

You really must see yourselves some time. Your filthy, germ-ridden body parts hang flabby and exposed from inadequate, scant clothing. You continue to smoke cigarettes even after we kicked you outside. You have sex before you’re married, refuse to use condoms, decline to exercise, and “dine” regularly on Big Gulps and Fritos. Any of you ever met a whole fried chicken, deep-fried Twinkie or fat-laden burger you wouldn’t stuff by the dozen into your gaping pie holes? I didn’t think so.

We try our best to ban all these substances that hurt you, but do you thank us? No, you just keep babbling about your right to determine your own destiny and live your own lives, as though we can tolerate free will when pathogens are everywhere. What have we become in America, a nation of philosophers?

And when it comes to the crux of the recent episodes, and why on earth we’d need anyone’s permission at all to regulate temporary beer pouring or any other activity deemed appropriate for saving you from yourselves, has it ever occurred to any of you that all of these dreadful materials you insist on ingesting are manufactured by food producers with an even lower opinion of you than me?

Furthermore, they have absolutely no respect for us as regulators and preservers of public health and safety. Every single one of those restaurants, lunch counters, taquerias, hot dog stands, food trucks, bistros and sushi joints bring in money hand over fist.

Do you think for one moment that local government funds the health department the way ordinary people throw money at some guy wrapping bacon around a cream puff? Not that local government has any money, because a lower tax burden is better for all of us, and the more golf you play, the more you know that if not for the GOP, we’d have even less funding for inspections. But we’re all white folks here, and I needn’t remind you of your obligations.

That’s what galls me about my own health department board being all namby pamby and saying Baylor doesn’t have to pay fees for his temporary permits.

When I said during the hearing that money doesn’t matter, what I meant was that I know far better how money matters and doesn’t matter than any of you cretins. As without doubt the leading element in society, we doctors are in the best position to make such judgments, and that’s why this whole shakedown started, anyway, because if New Albany’s mayor says it’s okay for ambulances to go to any hospital, and not be forced to use Floyd Memorial, then how’re we going to maintain the monopoly … er, I mean the monopoly on public health and safety, of course.

Why can’t you pathetic maladroit plebes grasp what I’m telling you? After me, it’s the deluge. You prattle on and on about answers, and how you’re entitled to the truth about the health department’s comprehensive program to control what goes down your gullets, so let me tell you something.

You can't handle the truth!

Baylor, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with syringes. Who's gonna do it? You? Lee Cotner? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the ATC, and you curse the health care supermen. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that my random personal opinions about food safety, while unsupported by Indiana law or precedent, saves lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at beer parties, you want me on that wall -- you need me on that wall.

We use words like "honor," "that’ll be $20," and "superior intellect." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a drunkard who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very public health and safety that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up some hand sanitizer and stand the post. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you're entitled to!

I do the job I was chosen to … and you're god damn right I made it all up on a whim! Now, be a good little boy and obey your elders.

After all, there’s no pluralism in a foxhole, juvenile.

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

ON THE AVENUES: Doc Harris and the Commissioners at the No Clue Corral.

Ah, the foolish delusions of youth.

Displaying the guileless eagerness of a fresh military recruit going into battle for the very first time, I began attending New Albany city council meetings in 2005, concurrently submitting to engagement in all sorts of grassroots public meetings.

After a few months thrashing through this stinking, fetid swamp, my only goal in life became finding a nice, dry branch to hang on to.

My persistence in indulging this gavel-pounding, head-throbbing, BDSM-like fetish for social dysfunction subsequently extended far past the point when most normal people would have been forcibly loaded onto the padded taxi for a no-expenses-paid visit to Fantasy Island.

It’s a testament to my sheer, stubborn cantankerousness that I never became one of the zombie drones, although not unlike formaldehyde, copious quantities of beverage alcohol certainly helped preserve my sanity.

Then in 2019, lest the gateway martinis lead me down a path to heroin, I withdrew from the fray. After 15 years, I finally reached a sensible conclusion that as long as undemocratic Democrats ruled the municipal roost, there’d never be improvement. Rehabilitation proceeds apace. 

But those outlandish nightmares of King Larry Kochert ogling my leotards?

They’ll last forever.

One lesson from this era of trauma and self-harm also stays with me, because whenever Floyd County politicians belonging to either major political party suddenly cite an alarming lack of information as a reason to delay acting, even when the vital information deemed essential has reposed for weeks and maybe months atop a case of Bud Light Kumquat-A-Rita in their dens—in Bob Caesar’s case, immediately adjacent to the “missing” crate containing his Bicentennial Commission financial records—it invariably leads to two closely related outcomes.

Their sleeves are being tugged by self-appointed pillars (read: fixers) of the community … and as a result, an embarrassing retrograde maneuver is in the offing.

Given my pre-retirement history of gleefully exposing the dismal antics of New Albany's DemoDisneyDixiecrats, currently extinct beyond city limits, many heads will be nodding in anticipation of the usual verbiage directed against Adam’s Ants. 

Not this time. 

Instead, let’s take a journey to the other side of the aisle, and consider our information-deprived county commissioners, Republicans all: Shawn Carruthers, John Schellenberger and Tim Kamer. 

---

Dear reader, unless you’re a complete imbecile, you've grasped with clarity and certainty that the COVID-19 pandemic has entered a particularly gruesome stage as the holiday season approaches.

Consider the self-inflicted wounds of Indiana’s governor, Eric Holcomb. After more than seven months of futility spent trying to thread the GOP’s culture-wide needle of pandemic denial, even as his predecessor Mike Pence stood off to the side, maskless, breathing vapid scripture into his eyeglasses, Holcomb opened, then partially closed, and finally conceded his own impotence in declaring a new color-coded system to put COVID mitigation measures into the hands of local county officials.

Just think how much Holcomb’s late autumn devolution might have helped had it been implemented in April. Perhaps he was frightened by the Libertarian insurgency in the gubernatorial race. Pence might have been distracted by the need to find a new job. None of it would matter if not for the potential for a worse pandemic than we already experienced, and presently are witnessing.  

Now, in November, for all intents and purposes, COVID-era devolution means that local unelected county officials are being charged with formulating and enforcing policies pertaining to the pandemic.

There’s the rub.

With the vast majority of Indiana’s elected Republicans, as well as a far larger percentage of minority Democrats than you might imagine, all unwilling to risk leadership during an election-year public health crisis, but yearning to preserve their electoral viability for future pandering, the magical solution is to put unpopular decisions in the hands of folks like Dr. Thomas Harris, chief of the Floyd County Health Department.

Frequent readers will recall the infamous "Pour Gate" scandal in 2013 (see here for a full account), when Dr. Harris sought to exceed his agency’s statutory limitations and was wrestled to the ground and repelled by a holy coalition of Hoosiers. Obviously, Dr. Harris and I are not bosom buddies, and quite likely won’t ever be.

However, 2013 and 2020 are one hundred and seven years apart.

It was reported last week that Dr. Harris has been approved to serve another term by the health department board, a decision customarily "certified" by the three Floyd County Commissioners (as noted, all are Republican).

However, the certification was tabled, with Kamer, the least experienced commissioner, stepping forward as de facto spokesman to cite the telltale absence of critical information. Carruthers and Schellenberger merely confined themselves to disinterested nods, and transparency crawled off to die.

The optics of the unanticipated delay couldn’t be much worse for the commissioners, given that earlier in the week Dr. Harris has announced tighter pandemic restrictions on restaurants and bars, still more timid than those taken in surrounding states, and yet a step in the right direction.

Unless, of course, you’re among the whack-jobs who still deny the efficacy of any pandemic restrictions, or the existence of COVID itself. Whether the three commissioners do or don’t embrace science is a question we can’t answer, although their haste in stalling Dr. Harris’s reappointment seems to me an irrefutable clue. After all, one of them is the Republican Party’s county chairman.

Scuttlebutt meanwhile suggests their arms are being twisted by Republican grandees besotted with lunatic fringe Kool-Aid and evangelical Christianity; perhaps Dr. Harris failed to properly fill out the Right to Life questionnaire, or forgot to put a MAGA sign in his yard.

Or, as my friend Occam suggests, it’s exactly as it seems, and local Republicans are terrified lest they be viewed as surrendering to nasty masked liberals who worship George Soros. 

Freedom! Liberty! Mass infections and an early death to grandma! 

Well, you know, the stock market rules.

---

As many of you are aware, I’m employed part-time by a restaurant, and have another part-time job writing about restaurants. When Dr. Harris usurped his department's power in 2013, I spent two years fighting against him, and winning, because he was wrong—and quite a few Republicans agreed, and did the heavy lifting required.

However, I fully support the measures announced last week by Dr. Harris to address the pandemic’s spread. They’re something, as opposed to nothing, and also necessary, as opposed to Disney World.

In point of fact, Harris’s actions during a single day last week shot this unelected official straight to the top of the local leadership board, seeing as leadership from elected officeholders has been even more AWOL than usual since March.

Yes, city council passed a toothless resolution, and two weeks ago, the mayor attached his name to a ludicrously belated social media pronouncement divulging his lightbulb-above-noggin recognition of the pandemic, and urging citizens to mask up and distance themselves. News travels slowly into the shadowy bowels of the bunker, and it only took hundreds of days, but better late than never.

We needn't elaborate as to what local elected Republicans have done concerning COVID, since as Billy Preston once reminded us, nothing from nothing leaves … nothing.

Dr. Harris exercised a semblance of leadership, and his Republican handlers immediately hung him out to dry. It isn’t a coincidence. They inhabit a political belief system that would have exiled Dr. Anthony Fauci before Memorial Day if not checked. Many of them are entangled in religious superstition that would have been right at home in Spain during the Inquisition. We stream music via weird and mysterious invisible waves; they spin 78-rpm discs coated with shellac. 

Dear reader, if you espouse human reason, and respect the veracity of the scientific method, I suggest you query the commissioners as to what sort of petty game they're playing, and who is issuing their marching orders. Their phone numbers are here, although not their e-mail addresses.

Not surprising, is it?

---


Friday, July 24, 2020

The Torture Never Stops.


Let's see if I have this straight.

It took laborious behind-the-scenes lobbying to convince New Albany's city council Democrats to approve a toothless face covering/mask resolution, an eloquent statement of abdication. This done, a committee of customary suspects was appointed to consider a "heavier" ordinance, and all involved -- including the mayor, who'd also done precisely zilch -- breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing  of substance had occurred, and responsibility was deferred.

(As an aside, now I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, they'll return to the ordinance idea. They might.)

But, still: The score begins Nothing 1, Something 0.

Then, after President Trump emerged from his Twitter war room in a state of consciousness suitable to tepidly support the wearing of face coverings/masks, Governor Eric Holcomb, a Republican, decreed a statewide mandate for Indiana, to begin a week after his announcement, this delay coming because -- well, there's all the time in the world, I suppose.

Nothing 1, Something 0, but with a runner on base.

Then, after standing by for weeks, Dr. Thomas Harris read the governor's proclamation and belatedly discovered the effectiveness of face coverings/masks, issuing his own Floyd County Health Department writ mandating masks to take effect three days in advance of Holcomb's order.

Nothing 1, Something 0, but with another runner on base.

Today, Holcomb signed an executive order mandating face coverings/masks, but without any semblance of an enforcement mechanism. Subsequently it was revealed that Harris's order also is absent any teeth, and what the hell, it didn't matter anyway, because both the sheriff (Frank Loop, R) and the police chief (Todd Bailey, D) -- in agreement for the first time in living memory -- conceded their shared disinterest in enforcing ANY such law.

Let's see -- double play, then a runner picked off; Nothing comes to bat and blasts home runs on two straight pitches.

Nothing 3, Something 0. Game over. Pandemic very much NOT over.

I ask, again: if politicians are not going to muster the simple courage demanded of them by their oaths, and expend the necessary political capital to help the populace stay safe DURING A PANDEMIC, then when, exactly, do they feel that the proper time might actually be?

This is why I detest the two-party system with every last fiber of my being.

Our elected officials from both parties have combined to incessantly politicize public health during this crisis, and to hand us a document written in invisible ink. But I must say in utter candor that the GOP, in charge of "governing" throughout the state, bears more of the sad burden of ignominy.

Let's call the non-outcome Triple Secret Probation.

Better yet, why not refer to it as a DEAD LETTER. 

After all, their combined non-efforts will lead to Hoosiers ... that's right, dying.

(for the next few days, I'll be titling my posts after songs. That should confuse them even more)

Thursday, July 23, 2020

ON THE AVENUES: These overdue mask mandates should help us separate the bad actors from the good.


I like the idea of beginning the column with music. Thank you for the idea, Charles P. Pierce.



Meanwhile, they hath stolen my damn thunder.

I'd been preparing a sermon about the path of the righteous masked man, and how it is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil unmasked men.

Then these Republicans went and canceled me.

First it was Indiana’s Governor Eric Holcomb, followed by the Floyd County Health Department chief Dr. Thomas Harris.

Holcomb’s statewide mask mandate starts on Monday, but once the potential for heat from the home office in Indy was reduced, Dr. Tom at long last implemented a must-mask decree here, to begin tomorrow (Friday, July 24).

Enquiring minds want to know: What on earth took Dr. Tom so long?

Back in 2013 he was willing to fight for two entire YEARS for the health department’s inalienable “right” to regulate breweries pouring cups of beer at outdoor events.

Remembering the Great Beer Pour War of 2013: Bank Street Brewhouse, the Floyd County Health Department and the flight of the bureaucrats.

 ... On July 1, 2015, when a "beer bill" authored by Rep. Ed Clere officially becomes state law, it will be demonstrated for a third (and we trust final) time that the FCHD and its head, Dr. Tom Harris, were mistaken all along.

The new law is clear and explicit, as based on the two preceding legal precedents, both hitherto ignored by the FCHD.

All thanks to Ed Clere. His hard work in compelling local government functionaries to obey their own laws will not be forgotten, especially by me.

I digress, of course, but not before adding an important addendum.

The preceding events occurred between 2013 and 2015. They’re minor in relative terms compared with a pandemic, and yet it behooves me to note that when conditions, facts and realities on the ground change, we’re obliged to change with them.

Ask me a year ago what I thought about masks, and I’d likely to have shrugged and described them as comical. Now I’m not laughing.

Let’s be clear about these mask mandates.

They are an unqualified good.

---

The available evidence has long since convinced all but the most strident of dogma-driven refuseniks that we are in the midst of a coronavirus public health emergency. Sorry, Ayn Randians; the coronavirus itself has proven to be notoriously indifferent to the philosophy of objectivism.

Reputable scientific opinion existing outside our partisan propaganda silos is consistent and persuasive; COVID-19 is not the customary seasonal flu, and we’ve thoroughly botched our response to it.

The pandemic is not “going away” on its own, and if we can yet muster a coherent collective response, perhaps lives can be saved and post-COVID after-effects on personal health reduced.

Truth is truth. I needn’t have mentioned one of the worst novelists in recent American history to support the point.

Moreover, it serves no purpose to refer to the stock market, presidential elections, the purported expertise of rogue orthodontists who have found a link between Chinese viruses and the Trilateral Commission, or the way that social media renders both libtards and fascists into evil incarnate depending on the way the light bounces from mirrors none of us seem interested in using any longer.

As for the bizarre and almost purely American-derived "issue" of face masks, I support their use. Block, mute and unfriend to your heart's content. I’m satisfied with the testimony of trained medical authorities possessing long years of experience. Masks strike me as helpful and courteous in a time of pandemic. You and I can work together to keep a percentage of spray particles to ourselves. It's not a panacea; nothing is. It helps, and that's good.

Early on, as the merits of masks in spaces where social distance is harder to achieve became increasingly obvious, I noticed how few of the denizens of downtown New Albany were wearing them. Among them were many folks who in one way or another are “official,” or somehow consider themselves among the societal vanguard in some dimension – indie biz advocates, city employees and retail personnel, as examples.

It’s gotten gradually better since.

However, what I thought to myself at the time is that being part of any solution, great or small, implies the acceptance of holding yourself to whatever standards you’re touting. The old-school terminology is being a “role model,” and being a role model means bad actors need not apply.

If I go for a walk in the neighborhood when no one else is out, or am inside my own car, those are low-intensity examples. I’ll have my mask with me, just in case it is needed. But when I’m downtown, where many more people are out and about; if my employer’s admirable sense of professionalism and conscience precluded him from reopening his pub until he could make it as safe an experience as humanly possible, then it’s incumbent on me to wear the mask.

You know, being a positive role model.

That’s been easy, because wearing a mask isn’t political unless you’ve no better way to squander misspent brain cells. It’s about courtesy and public health in an uncommon period. A mask doesn’t violate my manhood or cause me to grow wool and go “baaahh.” I don’t have a finely waxed Rollie Fingers handlebar mustache to display in the hope of causing the fairer sex to swoon. Masks are fine with me, for no other reason than a way of pitching in.

It’s true that various economic theorists of the Narcissism as Economic Dishevelment have proven wonderfully capable of deconstructing the concept of “community” completely and putting it out of existence, and yet when I look outside, that’s what I see. A community. I don’t accept the foolishness of the selfish. I trust my own two eyes, and I believe in being a good actor as opposed to a soul-sapping malignancy with skeletons in the closet.

Maybe you had a different sort of upbringing, and if so, my sincerest condolences.

---

Holcomb’s and Harris’ mask directives surely pleased the ever-calculating grandees of the Floyd County Democratic Party. If the three-percenter anti-mask jihadists run amok, Democrats can blame the Republicans. If tantrum-prone adult snowflakes suddenly get the memo and decide to mask up, the Democrats can point to their toothless city council resolution and claim to have gotten there first.

Come what may, we should try not to forget that since the pandemic shutdown was launched on March 16, municipal Democrats have controlled all levers of local governance. They have a city council majority and hold the mayor’s office. Their appointees populate every board that matters and others that don't. Seldom before has so much power been held by so few at the apex of the pyramid.

If they have no intention whatever of using this power, would they mind if I borrowed it for the weekend?

There are literally dozens of proactive measures Democrats might have implemented these past five months to address the pandemic, but apart from an early and short-lived meal subsidy for displaced restaurant workers, signage for curbside parking and city anchor sticker logos slapped crookedly on canisters of hand sanitizer produced at Starlight Distillery, very little has been said or done except for irregular social media requests for the citizenry to be nice and behave itself.

In noting these facts, I’m foregoing polemics. No, really -- I am. Go to the News and Tribune web site, perform a few simple searches, and see so for yourself. Here in New Albany, agoraphobia and detachment remain the political orders of the day, both in sickness and health.

You're advised to believe me when I say that this time around, because of the way a pandemic fundamentally changes the nature of the playing field, I thought maybe for once ... just once ... local Democrats would rally the cadres and rise to the occasion.

I thought wrong, and it’s very depressing. Lucy pulled back the football. The crickets have chirped. The sound of pins dropping is like thunder, and somewhere, a lonely mutt bays at the indignity of it all.

What's more, timidity gains the party nothing.

Come November, Donald Trump will yet again win the city, almost surely by at least a 15% margin, probably more, illustrating that quite a few theoretical “Democrats” who voted for the incumbent mayor in 2019 will (again) opt for an abominable failure of a president in 2020.

How do they sleep at night, these "democrats"? It's been eight years; still, hope springs eternal. I cling to that most faint of pulses, the one suggesting that there'll come a time when they actually remember what it means to be democratic.

---

While we’re on the topic of institutional memory, did you know that National Cognitive Dissonance Day is the oldest public holiday in the United States?

It has been running 24/7/365 since July 4, 1776 (or thereabouts), when the clever rhetorical hocus pocus contrived by wealthy slave owners and wealthy rum trade merchants working together to pontificate about human rights in theory, while acting to enshrine property rights in reality, made lasting hypocrites out of us all.

By the way, is fireworks season over yet?

---

Recent columns:

July 16: ON THE AVENUES: Daniil Kharms, Marina Malich, and writing for the drawer about nothing ... pre-Seinfeld.

July 9: ON THE AVENUES: Mask up, folks. Pints&union is coming back, and we're taking precautions.

July 5: ON THE AVENUES took a week off. Here's what I've been writing while on holiday.

June 25: ON THE AVENUES: I’m invisible, so will you stop insisting you see me?

Sunday, March 15, 2020

It won't be pretty: "You know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself."



George Thorogood was right on the money, and we're all going to be given the chance to prove it very soon.

As of Sunday evening, a COVID-19 cordon was descending on those of us in the on-premise food and drink business. Illinois and Ohio already have shut down restaurants and bars, with exceptions for carry-out and delivery (just no congregating inside or lines outside).

So did Massachusetts and California. So has much of Europe.

Several Louisville bars already have announced voluntary shutdowns, and just now I was reading a half-dozen social media posts urging Mayor Greg Fischer to stop waiting for the governor and make the closings in Louisville mandatory.

The duration elsewhere generally is being being phrased as two or three weeks, but everyone would be better off reading these words as "indefinitely," because that's what is meant, even if it isn't being said aloud.

Obviously I'm self-interested, given employment at Pints&union, but this post isn't to be construed as disagreement. Personally I regard the temporary closings as inevitable given the realities of COVID-19. Public health trumps draft beer and tacos.

It simply is, and the realization that there'll be more than a few small, local independent businesses that won't be able to resume operations after it's over is bittersweet, depressing and an enticement to fight the good fight, all at once. 

It's all moving way too fast to capture even a sliver of it in words.

However, allow me to offer this: As the chain of command goes in Indiana, I'd expect the shutdown orders to come from Governor Eric Holcomb, perhaps through the state department of health and the Alcohol & Tobacco Commission (for alcohol license holders). I say this because Caesar's was put on a two-week furlough by the state gaming commission.

Jeff Gahan will have nothing to do with any of this, whether by personal inclination (he's been in the bunker for eight years) or personal authority. Insofar as the Floyd County Health Department is concerned, simply allow me to remind those of you who are just tuning in that its chieftain Dr. Thomas Harris won't screw around. This I learned seven years ago.

In fact, judging from his behavior in 2013 and 2014, when I spent a year of my business life contesting his out-of-nowhere decision to unilaterally demand temporary food service permits of temporary beer event pourers (he was proven wrong by the Indiana Supreme Court, by the way, and I consider beating him the greatest achievement of my entire career), Dr. Tom won't hesitate to act even if no orders are forthcoming from Indianapolis.

He's that sure of himself, and that imperious. If he thinks it's the right thing to do, he'll start padlocking doors tomorrow morning.

In this instance, he also may be right in doing so, although it grieves me to concede it. 

In any event there'll be a immense amount of pressure placed on the governor to restrict or suspend restaurant and bar service. I predict it will come tonight or tomorrow, because of St. Patrick's Day on Tuesday; also, it would be two weeks until month's end at this point, thus offering a convenient time frame for action.

At least if we know tomorrow, we won't be stuck with perishables and beverages we can't sell.

How will small businesses survive this?

I have no idea. It's unexplored territory, and if ever the phrase "taking it day by day" applies, it is right now.

Stay tuned, and thanks for reading.

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Remembering the Great Beer Pour War of 2013: Bank Street Brewhouse, the Floyd County Health Department and the flight of the bureaucrats.


Last week's announcement by the New Albanian Brewing Company that Bank Street Brewhouse will close on May 25 (NABC's Pizzeria & Public House remains open, cooking and brewing) brought back many memories of BSB's ten-year run, like the time I fought the law and the law won -- but only temporarily.

In the following post from May 20, 2015 the whole story is told and a compendium of links provided. My personal favorite is this, the most-read "guest column" in the blog's (almost) 15-year history.

ON THE AVENUES: PourGate (the Great Beer Pour War of 2013) and Dr. Tom's prescription: "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."


It probably has escaped your notice, since not one of you care very much about public health and safety, not to mention your own disgusting standards of personal hygiene, but vast numbers of our fellow Americans are clueless sheep wallowing in a medieval squalor of bacteria. If not for the efforts of selfless heroes like me, you'd doubtless be bathing daily in your own raw sewage.

You really must see yourselves some time. Your filthy, germ-ridden body parts hang flabby and exposed from inadequate, scant clothing. You continue to smoke cigarettes even after we kicked you outside. You have sex before you’re married, refuse to use condoms, decline to exercise, and “dine” regularly on Big Gulps and Fritos. Any of you ever met a whole fried chicken, deep-fried Twinkie or fat-laden burger you wouldn’t stuff by the dozen into your gaping pie holes? I didn’t think so.

We try our best to ban all these substances that hurt you, but do you thank us? No, you just keep babbling about your right to determine your own destiny and live your own lives, as though we can tolerate free will when pathogens are everywhere. What have we become in America, a nation of philosophers?

I was one-third owner of Bank Street Brewhouse from incorporation in 2008 until my NABC buyout was finalized in February, 2018. In all that time, I received one paycheck for BSB. The buyout wasn't worth much more. But that's just fine, because beating The Man was worth every lost penny.

Things like that are what I live for.

It feels wonderful to have played a small role in checking the health department's 2013 over-reach and clarifying the state law to prevent other entities from launching similar shenanigans about licensing. Not only that, but our subsequent (albeit smaller) hassle with the Alcohol & Tobacco Commission's rules about the availability of food led to statutory adjustments as to what Indiana brewery taprooms can do to ease the weight of compliance with an obviously outdated standard.

If you're managing a brewery taproom and no longer are compelled to keep frozen weenies in a dorm fridge next to the microwave ... you're welcome.

State representative Ed Clere did the heavy lifting in both cases, and I'm grateful to him for this -- and to Lee and Bob for their efforts during PourGate.

In terms of writing, I think my coverage of PourGate is worthy of inclusion in NA Confidential's Greatest Hits. Kick back, pour a stiff one and don't forget the good times we had at Bank Street Brewhouse.

---

PourGate 2013: It took two years, but this new law silences Dr. Tom Harris and the Floyd County Health Department.

As it began.

On June 14, 2013, the New Albanian Brewing Company was peaceably vending beer at Bicentennial Park, by means of a supplemental catering permit issued by the company's governing agency, the Indiana Alcohol and Tobacco Commission.

The Floyd County Health Department arrived and said that NABC also needed a temporary food serving permit.

I said no, that's incorrect.

They persisted, and a two-year-long struggle commenced.

An Indiana Public Access Request was filed, and the Dr. Tom Harris and the FCHD's attorney laughed it off. NABC filed an appeal, based on a previous Indiana appeals court ruling (Ft. Wayne v Kotsopoulus; thanks, Bob) and the FCHD's board slightly moderated the department's error, but did not correct it.

The FCHD then childishly slandered NABC with a web site photo equating Bank Street Brewhouse with e coli, and NABC filed a tort claim notice. An ultimately fruitless search for adults in county government began.

They blamed it on the webmaster.

By late 2013, the Indiana Attorney General's office had agreed with NABC's reference to the court ruling, and found the FCHD to have absolutely no basis for its claim that a temporary food service permit was needed to pour beer.

The FCHD overtly and publicly stated that it would ignore this directive.


Throughout 2014, NABC and other vendors adhered to the FCHD's improvised 2013 requirement, which although amended, remained utterly baseless and without statutory authority.

Now a new summer vending season is beginning in 2015, and there is a new development.

On July 1, 2015, when a "beer bill" authored by Rep. Ed Clere officially becomes state law, it will be demonstrated for a third (and we trust final) time that the FCHD and its head, Dr. Tom Harris, were mistaken all along.

The new law is clear and explicit, as based on the two preceding legal precedents, both hitherto ignored by the FCHD.

All thanks to Ed Clere.

His hard work in compelling local government functionaries to obey their own laws will not be forgotten, especially by me.

If we lived in a culture of accountability, Dr. Tom Harris would be cashiered on July 1, 2015, when the new law takes effect. For two years, Harris and his department have made a mockery of Indiana state law and the principle of due process. For what purpose?

Following is the text of the new law. After that, there is a (maybe) complete compendium of NAC links telling the story of PourGate.

---

“HOUSE ENROLLED ACT No. 1311, AN ACT to amend the Indiana Code concerning alcohol and tobacco.”

SECTION 6. IC 16-42-5-30 IS ADDED TO THE INDIANA CODE AS A NEW SECTION TO READ AS FOLLOWS [EFFECTIVE JULY 1, 2015]:

Sec. 30.

(a) As used in this section, "permit holder" means the holder of:

(1) a farm winery permit under IC 7.1-3-12-5; or
(2) a brewer's permit under IC 7.1-3-2-7(5).

(b) A permit holder that sells or furnishes alcoholic beverages by the glass at a festival, fair, or other temporary location authorized by the permit holder's permit under IC 7.1, is not considered to be a food establishment and is exempt from the requirements of this title that apply to food establishments, if the following requirements are met:

(1) The holder of a farm winery permit furnishes only the following for consumption on the premises, regardless of whether there is a charge:

(A) Wine samples.
(B) Wine by the glass.

The holder may not serve or furnish any food, including any fruit, condiment, flavoring, or garnish added to the wine after the wine is poured from its original container.

(2) The holder of a brewer's permit furnishes only the following for consumption on the premises, regardless of whether there is a charge:

(A) Beer samples.
(B) Beer by the glass.

The holder may not serve or furnish any food, including any fruit, condiment, flavoring, or garnish added to the beer after the beer is poured from its original container.

(c) A local unit of government (as defined in IC 14-22-31.5-1) may not require any licensure, registration, or certification of a permit holder as a condition of providing alcoholic beverages at a festival, fair, or other temporary location authorized by the permit holder's permit under IC 7.1, if the permit holder meets the requirements of this section.

---

Following is as complete a compendium of links as could be mustered in an hour and a half without Roger losing his mind. I should be awarded a effing Pulitzer Prize for this. They appear in reverse chronological order.

2014

October 9, 2014: Not only that, but I even washed my hands before pressing "send."

October 6, 2014: A message to Harvest Homecoming food vendors about temporary food (and beer) service fees.

June 2, 2014: Is Hot Water More Effective than Cold for Washing Tom Harris Right Out of My Hair?

May 27, 2014: A fresh round of bald-faced lies from the Floyd County Health Department's resident Red Shirts.

April 9, 2014: Rick Fox speaks the prettiest public access language I've ever heard. Is that Mark Seabrook I hear chortling?

February 28, 2014: The Floyd County Health Department admits to being mistaken ... in only one instance, but hey, it's a start.

FALL AND WINTER 2013

December 28, 2013: In which the Floyd County Health Department ignores the Attorney General of the state of Indiana.

December 21, 2013: N and T: "State: Floyd County Health Department shouldn’t require permit."

December 11, 2013: Complete text: “Floyd County/ New Albany ordinance issue in violation of IC 7.1-3-9-2, 7.1-3-9-6″

December 10, 2013: Banner headline Tuesday, Part One: In the matter of PourGate, total and unequivocal defeat for the Floyd County Health Department.

November 16, 2013: Your PourGate update for Saturday, November 16: A waiting game.

September 7, 2013: Yo, Floyd County Health Department, your invoice is ready. Cash only, please. I'm not sure I trust your checks.

September 4, 2013: In which we learn percentages: "That minus is too low to see."

September 3, 2013: Your PourGate update for Tuesday, September 3, and a letter to the editor.

AUGUST 2013

August 27, 2013: Your PourGate update for Tuesday, August 27.

August 24, 2013: My second favorite News and Tribune reader comment yet.

August 21, 2013: Any adults in county government surface yet?

August 20, 2013: Your PourGate update for Tuesday, August 20.

August 19, 2013: My favorite News and Tribune reader comment yet.

August 17, 2013: N and T: "JEERS ... to the Floyd County Health Department ... "

August 17, 2013: These machines kill fascists, pathogens and bureaucrats.

August 16, 2013: When pressed by Eater Louisville and N and T, FCHD unable to get its story straight.

August 15, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: When the whip comes down.

August 15, 2013: Solid News and Tribune story places spotlight on the Health Department's chronic disingenuousness.

August 14, 2013: Citizen to FCHD: "I will not stand for our public officials and public departments to promote ... public bullying.

August 14, 2013: Your Wednesday PourGate Update: Health department spins the web site wheel twice on Tuesday.


August 14, 2013: GAW News: "Pride of the Dipshits (UPDATE) Floyd County Health Department."

August 13, 2013: Now the Floyd County Health Department is working to keep food safe from Roger -- not E coli.

August 13, 2013: Floyd County Health Department adds photo of handsome devil to its web site, but retains actionable photo.

August 13, 2013: A cease and desist, a tort claim notice, and Dr. Tom at large.

August 13, 2013: NABC to Floyd County Commissioners, Health Department: "This malicious activity has caused, and continues to cause, financial harm to the claimants’ businesses and corresponding reputations."

August 13, 2013: NABC to Floyd County Commissioners, Health Department: "Cease and desist."

August 12, 2013: At Eater Louisville: "Floyd County Health Department Uses Bank Street Brewhouse to set 'Foodborne Diseases' Photo Shoot."

August 8, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: The fruitless search for adults in county government.

August 7, 2013: Midweek PourGate update: What's up with the Health Department these days?

August 3, 2013: Hegemony in action.

August 2, 2013: Local citizen journalist views health department's web site retaliation and expresses revulsion.

August 2, 2013: Equal protection from health department bureaucrats? Just give that wheel a heave.

August 1, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."

JULY 2013

July 31, 2013: Got trench warfare if they want it.

July 30, 2013: Clear as mud: Floyd County Health Dept. Hearing Appeals Board has many feelings, but not very much law.

July 30, 2013: Dr. Tom plays his Goebbels card. Can Neidermeyer be far behind?

July 29, 2013: Guest column: "The Health Department's Pussy Riot."

July 28, 2013: In the search for Instigator Zero, expect papers to be shredded.

July 26, 2013: NABC before the FCHD Board 4: Late breaking news.

July 26, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: NABC before the FCHD Board 3.

July 26, 2013: NABC before the FCHD Board 2: NABC's case.

July 26, 2013: NABC before the FCHD Board 1: The health department’s case.

July 25, 2013: These magic moments: Health department board, 5:30 p.m., today.

July 24, 2013: Let's see if a formal complaint will do the trick.

July 24, 2013: The hearing is tomorrow, but the Floyd County Health Department is stonewalling about its public access obligations.

July 23, 2013: Dressing up for a date with the Health Department board.

July 18, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: Sunscreen, lube, and Dr. Tom's cabin.

July 1, 2013: Where bureaucrats are bureaucrats ... and yeast are scared.

July 1, 2013: Tuneless zombie bureaucrats? These and more pesky facts at Louisville Beer Dot Com.

JUNE 2013

June 29, 2013: Democrats address "controversy" over Health Department's actions.

June 29, 2013: BicenPk concert of Jun 28: Let's just Occupy the Health Department.

June 28, 2013: Concert tonight, but the PourGate saga continues as we prepare to vend Progressive Pints under protest.

June 28, 2013: I'm a voyeur. I was there to watch the show, not instigate it.

June 27, 2013: My note to the Indiana Public Access Counselor, informing the office of my request of the Floyd County Health Department.

June 26, 2013: Health Department refers public access request to same attorney who advises commissioners -- making a full circle.

June 26, 2013: "In an effort to facilitate seemingly scant communication," my e-mail to Dr. Harris.

June 25, 2013: Isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?

June 24, 2013: Updating the Floyd County Health Department's "Beer Pour War" of 2013.

June 22, 2013: Roger has issued a Indiana Public Access request to the Floyd County Health Department.

June 22, 2013: Bureaucrats, potato chips and the need for a city health department.

June 21, 2013: Jeeebus, what a week. Here's a review.

June 20, 2013: On the song and dance routine of Dr. Tom Harris.

June 20, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: The long train of usurpations adds a caboose.

June 20, 2013: Health Department's revenue enhancement + Develop New Albany's event calendar = ?

June 19, 2013: No parking lot for bicycles.

June 19, 2013: Preview: NABC's appeal to the Floyd County Health Department.

June 18, 2013: Sentenced to county septic inspections?

June 18, 2013: No Tricentennial for DNA in wartime, unfortunately.

June 17, 2013: Food handling, panhandling and regulatory free-basing.

June 16, 2013: Another day, another Floyd County Health Department power grab.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

ON THE AVENUES: PourGate (the Great Beer Pour War of 2013) and Dr. Tom's prescription: "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."

ON THE AVENUES: PourGate (the Great Beer Pour War of 2013) and Dr. Tom's prescription: "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

Loyal readers, it's been four long years since PourGate, the Great Beer Pour War of 2013.

On June 14, 2013, the New Albanian Brewing Company was peaceably vending beer at Bicentennial Park, by means of a supplemental catering permit issued by the company's governing agency, the Indiana Alcohol and Tobacco Commission.

The Floyd County Health Department arrived and said that NABC also needed a temporary food serving permit.

I said no, that's incorrect.

They persisted, and a two-year-long struggle commenced. Spoiler: they lost. For a complete compendium of NAC links telling the story of PourGate, go here:

May 20, 2015: PourGate 2013: It took two years, but this new law silences Dr. Tom Harris and the Floyd County Health Department.

It's all plague under the pustules now, but don't be surprised if this inscription appears on my tombstone: "He Helped Vanquish the Health Fascists in the Great Beer Pour War, Then Died Anyway Just Like Everyone Else."

To mark the occasion, here's a reprint of the single most read "guest column" in the blog's history (August 1, 2013).

---

ON THE AVENUES:  "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor. Today's guest columnist is Dr. Thomas Harris.

In the interest of fairness, I've invited Dr. Tom Harris, much decorated generalissimo of the Floyd County Health Department, to write this guest column offering his side of the recent unpleasantness. Looking at the whole situation dispassionately, Dr. Harris and I have quite a lot in common. Both of us were born, grew up, went to school, and received college degrees. I'm a professional in my field, as he is in his. In fact, it is to be imagined that we undulate, conjugate, ejaculate and defecate in similar ways, if not exactly the same -- unless, of course, he’s a space alien, and he is, and so the following is satire, pure and simple.

If you assume I’ll begin this essay by thanking a lowly brewer for affording a rebuttal to his serial insolence, think again.

One should never assume -- you'll make an ass out of yourself, certainly not me, because after all, I'm a doctor. The grandeur of my medical world view inevitably comes with the position, i.e., the rarefied territory of my critical role as guarantor of public health and safety.

The rest of you should just get the hell out of my way.

Let's get right down to brass tacks. Baylor, how dare you suggest that beer and brewing constitutes a “profession” in the same sense as a board-certified emergency medical pioneer like me. Every single day, our trained medical elites soothe suffering and save lives.

And you? You slouch at the tavern, sink into your cups, ruin your liver and foster bitterness toward those laudable over-achievers who possess my skill set and sheer dedication to public health and safety – whether the public understands any of it or not.

Because they seldom do, and mine is a tireless task, indeed.

It probably has escaped your notice, since not one of you care very much about public health and safety, not to mention your own disgusting standards of personal hygiene, but vast numbers of our fellow Americans are clueless sheep wallowing in a medieval squalor of bacteria. If not for the efforts of selfless heroes like me, you'd doubtless be bathing daily in your own raw sewage.

You really must see yourselves some time. Your filthy, germ-ridden body parts hang flabby and exposed from inadequate, scant clothing. You continue to smoke cigarettes even after we kicked you outside. You have sex before you’re married, refuse to use condoms, decline to exercise, and “dine” regularly on Big Gulps and Fritos. Any of you ever met a whole fried chicken, deep-fried Twinkie or fat-laden burger you wouldn’t stuff by the dozen into your gaping pie holes? I didn’t think so.

We try our best to ban all these substances that hurt you, but do you thank us? No, you just keep babbling about your right to determine your own destiny and live your own lives, as though we can tolerate free will when pathogens are everywhere. What have we become in America, a nation of philosophers?

And when it comes to the crux of the recent episodes, and why on earth we’d need anyone’s permission at all to regulate temporary beer pouring or any other activity deemed appropriate for saving you from yourselves, has it ever occurred to any of you that all of these dreadful materials you insist on ingesting are manufactured by food producers with an even lower opinion of you than me?

Furthermore, they have absolutely no respect for us as regulators and preservers of public health and safety. Every single one of those restaurants, lunch counters, taquerias, hot dog stands, food trucks, bistros and sushi joints bring in money hand over fist.

Do you think for one moment that local government funds the health department the way ordinary people throw money at some guy wrapping bacon around a cream puff? Not that local government has any money, because a lower tax burden is better for all of us, and the more golf you play, the more you know that if not for the GOP, we’d have even less funding for inspections. But we’re all white folks here, and I needn’t remind you of your obligations.

That’s what galls me about my own health department board being all namby pamby and saying Baylor doesn’t have to pay fees for his temporary permits.

When I said during the hearing that money doesn’t matter, what I meant was that I know far better how money matters and doesn’t matter than any of you cretins. As without doubt the leading element in society, we doctors are in the best position to make such judgments, and that’s why this whole shakedown started, anyway, because if New Albany’s mayor says it’s okay for ambulances to go to any hospital, and not be forced to use Floyd Memorial, then how’re we going to maintain the monopoly … er, I mean the monopoly on public health and safety, of course.

Why can’t you pathetic maladroit plebes grasp what I’m telling you? After me, it’s the deluge. You prattle on and on about answers, and how you’re entitled to the truth about the health department’s comprehensive program to control what goes down your gullets, so let me tell you something.

You can't handle the truth!

Baylor, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with syringes. Who's gonna do it? You? Lee Cotner? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the ATC, and you curse the health care supermen. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that my random personal opinions about food safety, while unsupported by Indiana law or precedent, saves lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at beer parties, you want me on that wall -- you need me on that wall.

We use words like "honor," "that’ll be $20," and "superior intellect." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a drunkard who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very public health and safety that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up some hand sanitizer and stand the post. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you're entitled to!

I do the job I was chosen to … and you're god damn right I made it all up on a whim! Now, be a good little boy and obey your elders.

After all, there’s no pluralism in a foxhole, juvenile.

---

Recent columns:

August 17: ON THE AVENUES: Love in the time of choleric Coffey, though it's nice of Deaf Gahan to support the K of C's political agenda.

August 10: ON THE AVENUES: Super Tuesday shrapnel – or, tiptoeing through the tulips with Dan Coffey, now THE face of historic preservation in New Albany.

August 3: ON THE AVENUES: On the importance of being ancient.

July 27: ON THE AVENUES: Irish history with a musical chaser.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

PourGate 2013: It took two years, but this new law silences Dr. Tom Harris and the Floyd County Health Department.

As it began.

On June 14, 2013, the New Albanian Brewing Company was peaceably vending beer at Bicentennial Park, by means of a supplemental catering permit issued by the company's governing agency, the Indiana Alcohol and Tobacco Commission.

The Floyd County Health Department arrived and said that NABC also needed a temporary food serving permit.

I said no, that's incorrect.

They persisted, and a two-year-long struggle commenced.

An Indiana Public Access Request was filed, and the Dr. Tom Harris and the FCHD's attorney laughed it off. NABC filed an appeal, based on a previous Indiana appeals court ruling (Ft. Wayne v Kotsopoulus; thanks, Bob) and the FCHD's board slightly moderated the department's error, but did not correct it.

The FCHD then childishly slandered NABC with a web site photo equating Bank Street Brewhouse with e coli, and NABC filed a tort claim notice. An ultimately fruitless search for adults in county government began.

They blamed it on the webmaster.

By late 2013, the Indiana Attorney General's office had agreed with NABC's reference to the court ruling, and found the FCHD to have absolutely no basis for its claim that a temporary food service permit was needed to pour beer.

The FCHD overtly and publicly stated that it would ignore this directive.


Throughout 2014, NABC and other vendors adhered to the FCHD's improvised 2013 requirement, which although amended, remained utterly baseless and without statutory authority.

Now a new summer vending season is beginning in 2015, and there is a new development.

On July 1, 2015, when a "beer bill" authored by Rep. Ed Clere officially becomes state law, it will be demonstrated for a third (and we trust final) time that the FCHD and its head, Dr. Tom Harris, were mistaken all along.

The new law is clear and explicit, as based on the two preceding legal precedents, both hitherto ignored by the FCHD.

All thanks to Ed Clere.

His hard work in compelling local government functionaries to obey their own laws will not be forgotten, especially by me.

If we lived in a culture of accountability, Dr. Tom Harris would be cashiered on July 1, 2015, when the new law takes effect. For two years, Harris and his department have made a mockery of Indiana state law and the principle of due process.

For what purpose, Mark Seabrook?

Following is the text of the new law. After that, there is a (maybe) complete compendium of NAC links telling the story of PourGate.

---

“HOUSE ENROLLED ACT No. 1311, AN ACT to amend the Indiana Code concerning alcohol and tobacco.”

SECTION 6. IC 16-42-5-30 IS ADDED TO THE INDIANA CODE AS A NEW SECTION TO READ AS FOLLOWS [EFFECTIVE JULY 1, 2015]:

Sec. 30.

(a) As used in this section, "permit holder" means the holder of:

(1) a farm winery permit under IC 7.1-3-12-5; or
(2) a brewer's permit under IC 7.1-3-2-7(5).

(b) A permit holder that sells or furnishes alcoholic beverages by the glass at a festival, fair, or other temporary location authorized by the permit holder's permit under IC 7.1, is not considered to be a food establishment and is exempt from the requirements of this title that apply to food establishments, if the following requirements are met:

(1) The holder of a farm winery permit furnishes only the following for consumption on the premises, regardless of whether there is a charge:

(A) Wine samples.
(B) Wine by the glass.

The holder may not serve or furnish any food, including any fruit, condiment, flavoring, or garnish added to the wine after the wine is poured from its original container.

(2) The holder of a brewer's permit furnishes only the following for consumption on the premises, regardless of whether there is a charge:

(A) Beer samples.
(B) Beer by the glass.

The holder may not serve or furnish any food, including any fruit, condiment, flavoring, or garnish added to the beer after the beer is poured from its original container.

(c) A local unit of government (as defined in IC 14-22-31.5-1) may not require any licensure, registration, or certification of a permit holder as a condition of providing alcoholic beverages at a festival, fair, or other temporary location authorized by the permit holder's permit under IC 7.1, if the permit holder meets the requirements of this section.

---

Following is as complete a compendium of links as could be mustered in an hour and a half without Roger losing his mind. I should be awarded a effing Pulitzer Prize for this. They appear in reverse chronological order.

2014

October 9, 2014: Not only that, but I even washed my hands before pressing "send."

October 6, 2014: A message to Harvest Homecoming food vendors about temporary food (and beer) service fees.

June 2, 2014: Is Hot Water More Effective than Cold for Washing Tom Harris Right Out of My Hair?

May 27, 2014: A fresh round of bald-faced lies from the Floyd County Health Department's resident Red Shirts.

April 9, 2014: Rick Fox speaks the prettiest public access language I've ever heard. Is that Mark Seabrook I hear chortling?

February 28, 2014: The Floyd County Health Department admits to being mistaken ... in only one instance, but hey, it's a start.

FALL AND WINTER 2013

December 28, 2013: In which the Floyd County Health Department ignores the Attorney General of the state of Indiana.

December 21, 2013: N and T: "State: Floyd County Health Department shouldn’t require permit."

December 11, 2013: Complete text: “Floyd County/ New Albany ordinance issue in violation of IC 7.1-3-9-2, 7.1-3-9-6″

December 10, 2013: Banner headline Tuesday, Part One: In the matter of PourGate, total and unequivocal defeat for the Floyd County Health Department.

November 16, 2013: Your PourGate update for Saturday, November 16: A waiting game.

September 7, 2013: Yo, Floyd County Health Department, your invoice is ready. Cash only, please. I'm not sure I trust your checks.

September 4, 2013: In which we learn percentages: "That minus is too low to see."

September 3, 2013: Your PourGate update for Tuesday, September 3, and a letter to the editor.

AUGUST 2013

August 27, 2013: Your PourGate update for Tuesday, August 27.

August 24, 2013: My second favorite News and Tribune reader comment yet.

August 21, 2013: Any adults in county government surface yet?

August 20, 2013: Your PourGate update for Tuesday, August 20.

August 19, 2013: My favorite News and Tribune reader comment yet.

August 17, 2013: N and T: "JEERS ... to the Floyd County Health Department ... "

August 17, 2013: These machines kill fascists, pathogens and bureaucrats.

August 16, 2013: When pressed by Eater Louisville and N and T, FCHD unable to get its story straight.

August 15, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: When the whip comes down.

August 15, 2013: Solid News and Tribune story places spotlight on the Health Department's chronic disingenuousness.

August 14, 2013: Citizen to FCHD: "I will not stand for our public officials and public departments to promote ... public bullying.

August 14, 2013: Your Wednesday PourGate Update: Health department spins the web site wheel twice on Tuesday.


August 14, 2013: GAW News: "Pride of the Dipshits (UPDATE) Floyd County Health Department."

August 13, 2013: Now the Floyd County Health Department is working to keep food safe from Roger -- not E coli.

August 13, 2013: Floyd County Health Department adds photo of handsome devil to its web site, but retains actionable photo.

August 13, 2013: A cease and desist, a tort claim notice, and Dr. Tom at large.

August 13, 2013: NABC to Floyd County Commissioners, Health Department: "This malicious activity has caused, and continues to cause, financial harm to the claimants’ businesses and corresponding reputations."

August 13, 2013: NABC to Floyd County Commissioners, Health Department: "Cease and desist."

August 12, 2013: At Eater Louisville: "Floyd County Health Department Uses Bank Street Brewhouse to set 'Foodborne Diseases' Photo Shoot."

August 8, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: The fruitless search for adults in county government.

August 7, 2013: Midweek PourGate update: What's up with the Health Department these days?

August 3, 2013: Hegemony in action.

August 2, 2013: Local citizen journalist views health department's web site retaliation and expresses revulsion.

August 2, 2013: Equal protection from health department bureaucrats? Just give that wheel a heave.

August 1, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."

JULY 2013

July 31, 2013: Got trench warfare if they want it.

July 30, 2013: Clear as mud: Floyd County Health Dept. Hearing Appeals Board has many feelings, but not very much law.

July 30, 2013: Dr. Tom plays his Goebbels card. Can Neidermeyer be far behind?

July 29, 2013: Guest column: "The Health Department's Pussy Riot."

July 28, 2013: In the search for Instigator Zero, expect papers to be shredded.

July 26, 2013: NABC before the FCHD Board 4: Late breaking news.

July 26, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: NABC before the FCHD Board 3.

July 26, 2013: NABC before the FCHD Board 2: NABC's case.

July 26, 2013: NABC before the FCHD Board 1: The health department’s case.

July 25, 2013: These magic moments: Health department board, 5:30 p.m., today.

July 24, 2013: Let's see if a formal complaint will do the trick.

July 24, 2013: The hearing is tomorrow, but the Floyd County Health Department is stonewalling about its public access obligations.

July 23, 2013: Dressing up for a date with the Health Department board.

July 18, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: Sunscreen, lube, and Dr. Tom's cabin.

July 1, 2013: Where bureaucrats are bureaucrats ... and yeast are scared.

July 1, 2013: Tuneless zombie bureaucrats? These and more pesky facts at Louisville Beer Dot Com.

JUNE 2013

June 29, 2013: Democrats address "controversy" over Health Department's actions.

June 29, 2013: BicenPk concert of Jun 28: Let's just Occupy the Health Department.

June 28, 2013: Concert tonight, but the PourGate saga continues as we prepare to vend Progressive Pints under protest.

June 28, 2013: I'm a voyeur. I was there to watch the show, not instigate it.

June 27, 2013: My note to the Indiana Public Access Counselor, informing the office of my request of the Floyd County Health Department.

June 26, 2013: Health Department refers public access request to same attorney who advises commissioners -- making a full circle.

June 26, 2013: "In an effort to facilitate seemingly scant communication," my e-mail to Dr. Harris.

June 25, 2013: Isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?

June 24, 2013: Updating the Floyd County Health Department's "Beer Pour War" of 2013.

June 22, 2013: Roger has issued a Indiana Public Access request to the Floyd County Health Department.

June 22, 2013: Bureaucrats, potato chips and the need for a city health department.

June 21, 2013: Jeeebus, what a week. Here's a review.

June 20, 2013: On the song and dance routine of Dr. Tom Harris.

June 20, 2013: ON THE AVENUES: The long train of usurpations adds a caboose.

June 20, 2013: Health Department's revenue enhancement + Develop New Albany's event calendar = ?

June 19, 2013: No parking lot for bicycles.

June 19, 2013: Preview: NABC's appeal to the Floyd County Health Department.

June 18, 2013: Sentenced to county septic inspections?

June 18, 2013: No Tricentennial for DNA in wartime, unfortunately.

June 17, 2013: Food handling, panhandling and regulatory free-basing.

June 16, 2013: Another day, another Floyd County Health Department power grab.