The Torture Never Stops.

Let's see if I have this straight.

It took laborious behind-the-scenes lobbying to convince New Albany's city council Democrats to approve a toothless face covering/mask resolution, an eloquent statement of abdication. This done, a committee of customary suspects was appointed to consider a "heavier" ordinance, and all involved -- including the mayor, who'd also done precisely zilch -- breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing  of substance had occurred, and responsibility was deferred.

(As an aside, now I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, they'll return to the ordinance idea. They might.)

But, still: The score begins Nothing 1, Something 0.

Then, after President Trump emerged from his Twitter war room in a state of consciousness suitable to tepidly support the wearing of face coverings/masks, Governor Eric Holcomb, a Republican, decreed a statewide mandate for Indiana, to begin a week after his announcement, this delay coming because -- well, there's all the time in the world, I suppose.

Nothing 1, Something 0, but with a runner on base.

Then, after standing by for weeks, Dr. Thomas Harris read the governor's proclamation and belatedly discovered the effectiveness of face coverings/masks, issuing his own Floyd County Health Department writ mandating masks to take effect three days in advance of Holcomb's order.

Nothing 1, Something 0, but with another runner on base.

Today, Holcomb signed an executive order mandating face coverings/masks, but without any semblance of an enforcement mechanism. Subsequently it was revealed that Harris's order also is absent any teeth, and what the hell, it didn't matter anyway, because both the sheriff (Frank Loop, R) and the police chief (Todd Bailey, D) -- in agreement for the first time in living memory -- conceded their shared disinterest in enforcing ANY such law.

Let's see -- double play, then a runner picked off; Nothing comes to bat and blasts home runs on two straight pitches.

Nothing 3, Something 0. Game over. Pandemic very much NOT over.

I ask, again: if politicians are not going to muster the simple courage demanded of them by their oaths, and expend the necessary political capital to help the populace stay safe DURING A PANDEMIC, then when, exactly, do they feel that the proper time might actually be?

This is why I detest the two-party system with every last fiber of my being.

Our elected officials from both parties have combined to incessantly politicize public health during this crisis, and to hand us a document written in invisible ink. But I must say in utter candor that the GOP, in charge of "governing" throughout the state, bears more of the sad burden of ignominy.

Let's call the non-outcome Triple Secret Probation.

Better yet, why not refer to it as a DEAD LETTER. 

After all, their combined non-efforts will lead to Hoosiers ... that's right, dying.

(for the next few days, I'll be titling my posts after songs. That should confuse them even more)

Return of the Fork in the Road public art installation -- bad location, but it's Gahanism, after all.

I'm told this is a "dry fitting" to get the base calibrated (thanks, E; also thanks to K for the tip). It's a horrendous location; there's no "fork in the road," and the installation will be overshadowed by the parking garage, but in New Gahania we save the best spots for the most generic structures -- because that's how pay-to-play gets done, whippersnapper.

Like here. Think of it as an easel for Dogs Playing Poker, and you get an idea of the mayor's aesthetic sensibility.

Although it looks like Team Gahan spoke with "forked" tongues.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Sources suggest the farmers market is a likely location for the fork in the road's resurrection.

#DrainTheGahanSwamp #DitchTheGahanClique

The politics of diversion: "Chief Bailey is playing a losing hand, but then, they're not really his cards."

Much ado about nothing, Jeffrey. Zilch, nada ... ничего.

New Albany police chief questions motivation for 911 dispatch merger, by Erin Walden (Let Them Eat Fake)

NEW ALBANY — The need for a joint city-county dispatch center in New Albany is disputed by the city's police chief.

Chief Todd Bailey called a news conference Friday, when he accused City Council President Al Knable of telling a falsehood to show a need for a unified dispatch. Bailey also said the push for joint dispatch is political.

In short, another round of made-for-somnolent-media bile and spittle.

Chief Bailey sadly pursued the same contrived attack line at last week's council meeting, hoisting Jeff Gahan's jockstrap like a maypole as the mayor beamed happily from the bunker's shadows, his increasingly nervous appointed minions trotting out to join forces with the remaining jellied Democratic spines on the city's legislative body to sing a rousing chorus of "Job Security Uber Alles."

In an interview following the news conference, Knable maintained there was a call made, but said he believed the error was on his end, not a result of the two dispatch centers. Knable said he did make a call, and turned over his phone records to the chief of police to prove it, but he used Siri to do so. As Knable explains it, he has the New Albany Police Department’s tip line saved in his phone under “911/NAPD,” so when he instructed Siri to call 911, the virtual phone assistant called the wrong line.

By the time he hung up from the tip line, he had assessed the situation and helped the young child, who had been scared and screaming “fire” and "help,” said Knable, adding at that point he realized it wasn’t an emergency. He said he did not make claims of an alarm sounding.

Knable contends Bailey's focus on the anecdote is a distraction from the bigger conversation, merging the two centers and “making sure the taxpayers have the safest, most-efficient system out there.”

“I’m looking to get the chief of police, sheriff, mayor and commissioners to the table,” Knable said.

The fact is that throughout this entire 9-1-1 call center non-discussion, Bailey's professional integrity hasn't ever been questioned, not even once.

Rather, certain Republicans, joined by some like-minded independents and even a Democrat or two, are petitioning for a discussion of costs and potential savings.

Is this also a political position? Yes, just as much as Gahan's benumbed, rote insistence that past county government fiscal turpitude -- a habit of suicide by starvation pioneered not by the GOP but by old-school Strom Thurmondesque pretend Democrats like Ted Heavrin and Larry McAllister -- somehow forms an eternal excuse for the mayor to erect straw men and gather municipal power into a veneer salesman's idea of an unbearably vapid cult of personality.

Another day and another display of petty, time-wasting theatrics by Team Gahan's resident DemoDisneyDixiecrats.

Is this really the best that local government has to offer?

Previously: The devil's in the framing, and it's public safety versus cold hard cash in the discussion about merging city and county dispatch centers.

A Rorschach test for New Albany's Main Street boondoggle project (2014).

(Originally published on November 7, 2014)

Because when it comes to our $2+ million Main Street Disprovement, Deforestation and Semi Trailer Non-Diversion Project, it really depends on how you look at it.

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What Jeff Gahan thinks it looks like.

What truckers think it looks like.

What drivers think it looks like.

What bicyclists think it looks like.

What John Rosenbarger thinks it looks like.

What Adam Dickey thinks it looks like.

What the rest of us think it looks like.

ON THE AVENUES: Why not a progressive movement in New Albany? It sure beats a two-party debacle.

"Why do civil and traffic engineers sign off on deadly, community killing street designs?"

Insular cliquishness contributes to the problem, doesn't it?

And I'm not referring to the engineers, just to their political paymasters.

Yes, the engineers are the problem. They need to be the solution, by "this is only a test" at Daily Kos

 ... Professional engineers (PEs) are supposed to be our experts. We require their sign off to build things. If politicians or businesses or officials asked for deadly airplanes, would aviation engineers comply? Of course not. Aerospace engineers investigate air crashes and improve aircraft safety. Their goal is zero deaths and injuries. So why do civil and traffic engineers sign off on deadly, community killing street designs? ...

 ... Instead of safety, the real traffic and civil engineering goals are speed and throughput: getting more cars flushed through your place from elsewhere to elsewhere. People who live or work or play along the streets are just damned inconveniences. In Maryland legend (and probably in fact, although I don’t have proof), Montgomery County traffic engineers actually made up ballcaps with the initials FSS, which they wore to meetings. It was an inside joke, I suppose. “Fuck [the] Side Streets.”

Anyone who has been to a community planning meeting knows that engineers can be very intimidating. It's even worse when they don't even consider then needs of the community over their perceived need for ever-faster traffic.

This bicyclist seems mistrustful of the Main Street sharrows.

Walking to the merchant meeting at the Culbertson Mansion on Tuesday morning, I'd just crossed Main Street when I saw a person on a bicycle coming toward me, eastbound.

At first glance, seconds before I took the photo, he was riding in the otherwise empty parking lane with a couple of cars approaching behind him. The bump-out was just ahead of him, and he was going to be compelled to move out into the "sharrows" lane whether he liked it or not. There was some hesitancy, but he did.

The driver of the first car chose the opportunity afforded at the median-free 10th Street intersection to quickly pass the bicycle on the left. Maybe he didn't want to share the road, after all.

I thought to myself: "Just imagine what the Main Street design might have been under capable leadership, and with reality-based design."

Damn, that guy looks familiar.

Nah, couldn't be.

Earth to Warren & the Boardettes: Speeding is a DESIGN issue, not an ENFORCEMENT issue.

But the good news is that Mr. Nash is providing valuable, if inadvertent, tutelage in other areas of critical detective work.

Such a shame that a city like ours is unable to make appointments by virtue of inherent skill sets rather than distantly burnished DemoDixiecrat political credentials, but such is life in Under Knob. 

Board of Works adjusts speed limit on Division Street in New Albany (N and T)

NEW ALBANY — In response to safety concerns raised by business owners and residents, the New Albany Board of Public Works and Safety lowered the speed limit on a portion of Division Street on Tuesday.

The limit was ordered to be reduced from 25 mph to 20 mph between Vincennes Street and 15th Street along Division Street. The street winds behind the Calumet Club as well as a church, and when there are functions at those organizations officials said traffic can cause some issues.

A Rorschach test for New Albany's Main Street boondoggle project.

Because when it comes to our $2+ million Main Street Disprovement, Deforestation and Semi Trailer Non-Diversion Project, it really depends on how you look at it.

---

What Jeff Gahan thinks it looks like.

What truckers think it looks like.

What drivers think it looks like.

What bicyclists think it looks like.

What John Rosenbarger thinks it looks like.

What Adam Dickey thinks it looks like.

What the rest of us think it looks like.

ON THE AVENUES: Why not a progressive movement in New Albany? It sure beats a two-party debacle.

Luxuriating in leisure: Barren city council agenda tonight.

After all, there's an election tomorrow, and Monday night football this evening, and post-budgetary unanimity exhaustion; in short, a perfect time to heed the advice of Rodney Dangerfield, get on down to lovely Hauss Square, put on the slippers, and create hatred in the family.

(Actually, I was looking for an excuse to use the photo above, henceforth to serve as official council motif and meme)

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AGENDA

THE COMMON COUNCIL OF THE CIVIL CITY OF NEW ALBANY, INDIANA, WILL HOLD A REGULAR COUNCIL MEETING IN THE THIRD FLOOR ASSEMBLY ROOM OF THE CITY/COUNTY BUILDING ON MONDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2014 AT 7:30 P.M.

MOMENT OF REFLECTION:

PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE:

ROLL CALL:

APPROVAL OR CORRECTION OF THE FOLLOWING MINUTES:

Public Hearing Meeting Minutes for October 16, 2014

Regular Meeting Minutes for October 16, 2014

COMMUNICATIONS – PUBLIC:

COMMUNICATIONS – CITY OFFICIALS:

COMMUNICATIONS – MAYOR:

APPROVAL OF CF-1 FORMS:

INTRODUCTION OF ORDINANCES AND RESOLUTIONS: READING

BOARD APPOINTMENTS:

New Albany Board of Zoning Appeals

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS:

COMMUNICATIONS – PUBLIC (non-agenda items):

IN COMMITTEE:

G-14-01 Ordinance Adopting the International Property Maintenance Code Standards for the City of New Albany ... Zurschmiede 1&2

TABLED ORDINANCES:

INDIVIDUALS WITH DISABILITIES WHO MAY REQUIRE SPECIAL ASSISTANCE TO ATTEND THE ABOVE MENTIONED MEETINGS MAY MAKE THEIR REQUEST KNOWN BY CONTACTING THE CITY CLERK IN ROOM 332 OF THE CITY/COUNTY BUILDING OR BY CALLING 948-5336.