Remembering Matt Brewer, bidding Williams Plumbing an affectionate farewell and beseeching City Hall to give a damn about public safety.

One year ago yesterday, Matt Brewer was struck and killed NOT by a minivan, as stated in this article, but by a DRIVER.

Apparently the minivan's DRIVER was exonerated on the scene by the NAPD, and later by the Floyd County Prosecutor, although we can't know any of this for sure because there exists no clear pathway for the general public to know the results of such investigations even though the facts are essential.

There is zero transparency in such matters, because the American legal system seems to be constituted to protect drivers of automobiles first and foremost, not non-drivers who suffer the brunt of auto supremacy's daily mayhem.

However there remains a very good chance that Matt was struck and killed owing to the obstruction of an illegally parked Williams Plumbing truck on the northeastern corner of Spring and 9th, as I documented last year in this series of nighttime photos. Watch as the red car approaches, disappears for an instant behind the truck, then reappears to continue speeding down Spring.

It literally constitutes a "dead man's curve," with the dogleg in the street constituting the first hazard, then the commercial vehicles stacked at the corner -- and, of course, dangerous speeds have NOT been reduced by City Hall's ineffectual "calming."

In fact these commercial vehicles have blocked sight lines at this corner since 1987, when Williams Plumbing bought the building and converted it to what amounts to an industrial use, which in practice has meant neglecting it consistently into a neighborhood eyesore.

Imagine: as the Williams Plumbing fleet of commercial vehicles has grown they've been parked for free on the public right of way -- advertised free on the public right of way, and been safety hazards on the public right of way. It's been a privileged existence, "free" of responsibility.

Why?

In fact, I've been pointing to all of this -- the parking violations, the dilapidation of the building and the cheek of it all -- almost from the inception of the blog.

2008.

All of it to a rousing chorus of snores from city officials, who for 32 years have been shirking THEIR responsibilities.

Non-learning curve: This ON THE AVENUES column repeat reveals that since 2011, we've been discussing the safety hazards on Spring Street between 10th and 9th. Too bad City Hall is deaf.

Earlier this year I asked street commissioner Mickey Thompson if something had  been said at long last to Williams Plumbing about the illegally parked trucks, as I'd noticed they'd been moved around the corner to occupy public parking spaces on THAT street, not Spring (still illegal, by the way, but less of a public safety hazard).

Thompson said yes -- because he'd said something, not ordinance enforcement, the existence of which is rumored though not always witnessed save for street sweeping day.

Two weeks later the trucks began appearing parked on the southwestern side of Spring, blocking vision there, then predictably soon returned to their previous location of 32 years by the sidewalk in front of the decaying building.

I'll leave it to others to memorialize Matt, for whom I still mourn -- not as a spouse or the closest of friends, just as an acquaintance, neighbor and fellow lover of life whose day always was brightened when our paths crossed. As Rickert's story below well illustrates, Matt inspired many and will continue to do so. We mustn't forget him. 

Speaking for myself as a heretic, rabble-rouser and all-purpose irritant, I'm as angry today as I was last year, but "adulting" means sublimating anger into something positive. Ideally this would be Jeff Gahan and his merry crew of oblivious car-centric campaign finance leeches deciding finally to take action to make the city safe for non-automotive users, but I know this isn't going to happen.

Consequently I take great joy in this announcement.

As far as I'm concerned, good riddance. A bit of advice to neighborhoods around the city: be on the lookout for a relocated Williams Plumbing. One of your buildings is about to be trashed.

Hopefully the structure, once a delight when Cora Shrader owned it, isn't too far gone that it can't be saved, and put to better use than Williams Plumbing has these past 32 years.

Matt, you're missed. You remain an inspiration, but you deserved better from the mouth-breathing cretins who run this city.

Southern Indiana skater remembered for his inspiration, passion; friends and family gathered for a memorial skate Tuesday for Matt Brewer, by Aprile Rickert (Hanson's Bible Verses)

NEW ALBANY — Bright. Loving. Happy-go-lucky. Super chill. Simple.

This is how friends and family described Matt Brewer at a memorial skate Tuesday at Silver Street Park in New Albany, an event that allowed them to come together and celebrate the man they lost one year ago.

Matt died Aug. 6 of last year at the hospital from injuries suffered when he was hit by a minivan at Spring and Ninth streets. He was doing what he loved most at the time of the accident — skateboarding — and those who knew him said he leaves behind a legacy of inspiration and positivity in the local skate community.

"He loved it," his mother, Judy Brewer, said as she and other family members sat under a shade tree Tuesday afternoon, watching his friends skate the park in his memory. "If he wasn't working, he was skating. All the time. He'd just go down to the park and skate all hours of the night."

The day after Matt died last year, dozens of friends showed up to the skatepark at the New Albany riverfront — a spot where Matt had spent a lot of his time — to show their love. His mother said it made her happy to see them out again Tuesday at the one-year anniversary.

"I think it's great," she said. "It's nice that people still remember him and the guy he was and what he liked to do."

But those there at the park don't have any intention of forgetting the man who taught them so much — as a friend, a teacher, a supporter.

"I think a lot of local skaters just looked up to him — he was skating all the time," said Scott Thompson, who grew up with Matt and went to high school with him. "He was a really good guy, too. He was really kind."

T.J. Gusler said he started skating when he was around 13 or 14, about 10 years younger than Matt. Gusler said Matt had a way about him that made one want to do well.

"He was super supportive," Gusler said. "If you were trying something and it was like a big deal, he'd get his camera out and you're like 'Oh, Matt's excited; I'm going to keep trying to do this.'"

The memorial wasn't held this year at the riverfront park, which is undergoing remodeling to make way for a new park there as part of a skatepark/art installation project of the Carnegie Center for Art & History. He'll always be part of that riverfront space, his friends say.

"You knew every day you'd go down there and he'd be there, ready to go," said Shane Hockersmith, who was one of the scores of skaters Matt inspired throughout Southern Indiana and Louisville. "[He] would do anything for any of us, especially kids growing up who skated. He would take you to spots with him, show you how to do things, sit and talk to you.

"He was definitely the biggest supporter of skating."

Matt's spirit is one that will live on in the community, with seeds that have taken root in the younger kids. Andrew Nicholson, skater and downtown resident who helped organize Tuesday's event with the others in the skate scene, said he'd met Matt four or five years ago when Nicholson had started teaching his son to skate.

Matt had helped, teaching the 10-year-old cool tricks, supporting him and his father along the way.

"Matt would encourage my son not only to be a better skater but to keep trying," Nicholson said. "And he'd encourage me to be a better skater and reassure me that I was doing a good job as a father."

This was just the way Matt was, Nicholson said. His character helped others to be better.

"Seeing him constantly going at it inspired other skaters to keep going," Nicholson said. "I've never seen Matt mad; he always had a smile. Even if you weren't a skater you always got greeted with a smile."

Nicholson called the local skate community "very tight, very close, very supportive," which was evident in the faces of those who turned out to honor their friend.

"The skate community here in Southern Indiana and Louisville is an encouraging group of guys, girls, people, who like to push one another to not only be better skaters, but be better humans," he said.

Car-centrism: Why does the news media always let human drivers off the hook when non-driving humans get killed?

Can any human (as opposed to his or her word processor) connected with the news media, now or in the past, explain why other humans walking, biking or skateboarding invariably are hit, injured and sometimes killed by vehicles, and not by the humans driving them?

Is this stated somewhere in a style guide: Thou shalt not trouble a driver when a vehicle can be blamed?

Greenville councilman fatally struck by car, by Aprile Rickert (Tom May Unlimited)

Alan K. Johnson was struck Saturday on U.S. 150

GREENVILLE — The Town of Greenville is mourning the loss of a community staple and council member who died Saturday after being struck by a car.

Alan K. Johnson, 66, was crossing the road in the 9600 block of U.S. 150 when he was hit by a 1996 Toyota Rav4, driven by Constance Sue Huber, 69, of DePauw, according to a news release from the Floyd County Sheriff's Department.

First in the title, then in the opening paragraph -- and for a third time in the opening clause of the second paragraph, it's the car that killed Johnson. Only in the second paragraph is the driver identified.

Wait -- the driver was identified?

Has the driver who killed Matt Brewer in August yet been identified?

Has the Combined Accident Reconstruction Team, the prosecutor's fanciful name for "here in Floyd County we don't prosecute drivers for killing non-drivers," released the report on Matt's death?

In May of 2016, Chloe Allen was killed by a driver named Terra Lawrence while trying to cross Spring Street at the suburban chain hellscape of Vincennes and Spring. The late Branden Klayko wrote about it at Broken Sidewalk.

I'm reprinting Branden's commentary in its entirety, with highlighting of crucial passages.

Woman killed by motorist in New Albany

Chloe Allen, 83, is dead after being struck by a motorist in downtown New Albany over the weekend.

The collision took place at Spring Street and Vincennes Street in the Southern Indiana city at 2:00p.m. on Friday, May 13. Allen was crossing the street in the crosswalk when struck by Terra Lawrence, 42, who failed to observe Allen in the street. Lawrence was driving a 2013 Dodge Ram truck and turning left onto Spring from Vincennes, according to police reports. Allen died after being transported to University Hospital in Louisville.

The incident was reported by the WLKY, WDRB, WHAS11, and the News & Tribune.

While a great deal of information was rendered by an investigation, it’s unfortunate that for the sake of a catchy acronym, the unit is labeled the Floyd County Combined Accident Reconstruction Team. As we have discussed many times, crashes and accidents are very different things and should not be mislabeled.

All of the local news reported that the pedestrian was struck “by a vehicle” rather than the driver of that vehicle. Cars and trucks don’t drive themselves—people crash them into things. Both WDRB and WHAS11 labeled the crash an accident, with WHAS11 going as far as to include a large “Accident” graphic complete with cracked windshield illustrating its report.

Each report duly noted a police statement that said speed nor alcohol are suspected in the crash. From a witness account, the motorist simply was not paying attention when turning, although none of the reports cited that the driver was errant or that charges were due.

New Albany has really let itself go at this intersection, allowing an anti-urban Walgreens, White Castle, and Rally’s to be built behind moats of parking that make walking unsafe. Low visibility crosswalks are clearly worn away by vehicle tires, compounding the walkability issue.

But the city should have seen this one coming. Back in 2014, urban planner Jeff Speck issued a report on the streets of downtown New Albany in which he identified Vincennes Street as “clearly oversized for its traffic.” Speck wrote of the three-lane street: “At no point do car accounts approach the number that would require a third lane. This condition is supported by the fact that the third lane, rather then (sic) being striped for left turns, merely provides northbound redundancy with no southbound counterpart.” He recommended a reconfiguration to improve safety.

Speck had also recommended making Spring Street west of here, among other local streets, a two-way thoroughfare (Spring is two-way to the east). He labeled Spring Street’s design as it moved from a grid to a highway layout as dangerous:

This four-lane section of Spring Street also feels very much like a highway, and experiences a large amount of speeding while creating an environment that is dangerous to walk along or live near. The ideal solution for this street would be to calm the traffic and create an environment of greater safety, without significantly changing its capacity, beyond perhaps a slight lowering of volume to match current demand.

Further, KIPDA has ranked two segments of Spring Street in New Albany—including this intersection—as among the most crash-prone in all of Southern Indiana, spurring plans for design changes on the street. Most of those changes call for lights making driving through the area easier, but buffered bike lanes are also part of the plan, which will be under construction this summer. Even these minor changes were challenged by area trucking companies in court, citing they make driving big rigs through the area more difficult.

New Albany has a long way to go on street safety.

By the way, as City Hall dithers about radar displays to tell them what the man in the moon already knows -- drivers drive too damn fast on Spring Street -- dead man's curve remains a killing waiting to happen.

ASK THE BORED: Faced with 75 signatures on a petition, Nash, Summers and the clueless BOW non-safety board can't muster a single empathetic response.

Dead Man's Curve has killed, and it will kill again unless our cowardly ruling clique does its job.

They're not going to do anything to promote public safety, are they?

'We Buy Cars": The face of luxury car sales in New Albany, in the form of an illegal yard sign in the verge.

A sign fairly oozing luxury.

Luxury car sales, my posterior -- even if the corner looks better.

Still, you gotta give the guy full credit for knowing the importance of meaningless buzz words. We're a city with 25% of its population below the poverty line, but City Hall is absolutely certain that if we keep repeating the word "luxury" over and over again, marketing alone will solve the problem. 

I remain fascinated: Why did the neighborhood association roll over so quickly for this guy?

Looks like ESNA and HyperCars are closerthanthis, which is why reality is so much more humorous than fiction.

It all started here:

That ugly word again: Plan Commission to consider "luxury" car sales at HyperCars on 13th and Spring.

Looks like ESNA and HyperCars are closerthanthis, which is why reality is so much more humorous than fiction.

What's a concerned citizen have to do to get back on the neighborhood association mailing list?

Thanks to the Green Mouse for forwarding what my eyes obviously aren't supposed to be viewing.

On Wednesday August 1 at 6:00 PM Hyper Cars Auto Detailing, located at 13th & Spring St, will hosting a special Open House for members of the ESNA. Please come and see the improvements made to the building and property. On August 7th the owner, Christian Betz, will be requesting a special exception at the BZA to sell a limited number of high-end cars at the location and he would like to have support from members of the neighborhood.

Hope to see you there.

Greg Roberts
ESNA President

It appears that ESNA's president-for-life has decided to hop into bed with HyperCars over "luxury" auto sales; given the bed already is occupied by Jeff Gahan, it may be time to upsize.

Have you noticed the default? Just about anyone who become aligned with city hall in any way suddenly feels the need to discourage dialogue and communication, keeping as much activity as possible below the surface.

That ugly word again: Plan Commission to consider "luxury" car sales at HyperCars on 13th and Spring.

When I finally was allowed to attend an ESNA meeting recently and the question of used car sales at HyperCars was raised, the association's Greg Roberts said there'd be none.

Yesterday I asked Greg for a clarification, and he offered this revision: it seems the neighborhood elders have been monitoring the situation, and they knew all along that HyperCars someday would seek to park no more than seven cars at a time on the lot for sale, but no one thought the business actually would pursue an exception this quickly, and learned of it only when the Plan Commission mailing arrived.

That's poor communication on several levels.

Whereas I'd previously declined to get involved with this situation, I can feel the dander's upward creep.

Ironically, after the last ESNA meeting Roberts told me it would be okay for my address to once again be added to the mailing list, from which it had been removed after I foolishly assumed a few YEARS back that I could "reply to all" in an effort to facilitate communicating with neighbors -- but NO; this apparently is a violation of East Gregland protocol.

Add another column to the Chronicles of New Gahania: I'm being excluded from a neighborhood association that barely exists because dialogue is a threat to "proper" communication.

Shrug. If you're a 3rd district voter, hasn't eight years of this been enough?

That ugly word again: Plan Commission to consider "luxury" car sales at HyperCars on 13th and Spring.

Better or worse than a neighborhood crematorium?

Oh, dear.

I was surprised to see this one on the Plan Commission agenda.

Public Meeting Item(s):

Docket B-36-18: HyperCars LLC requests a Special Exception to permit luxury auto sales in the C-1b, Local Business district at 1212 E. Spring Street.

It's funny what sort of precedents comes bubbling up from Google searches. This one's from Las Vegas, 18 years ago.

An informal group of citizens on the western reaches of Sahara Avenue is mobilizing to fight another battle against used-car lots in the neighborhood.

Twice the group has defeated proposals and zoning amendments for 10-acre used-car lots along Sahara that would have held hundreds of cars. Now they are fighting a smaller proposal for a seven-car used-car dealership at the corner of Sahara and Belcastro Street.

The would-be dealership, Total Eclipse, is currently a small window-tinting and auto-detailing shop.

More recently over in Jeffersonville, the city council declared a moratorium on gas stations, which are about as car-centric as it gets.

JEFFERSONVILLE, Ind. (WDRB) -- Jeffersonville leaders have put a city-wide hold on new gas stations.

“We don't want to be a city of gas stations,” Councilman Ed Zastawny said.

Council recently enacted a six-month moratorium on new gas station development permits.

“With all the development in Jeffersonville, we found that a bunch of gas stations wanted to come to the same corners," Zastawny said. "And we thought that's a problem."

This next one is from Warren, Michigan in 2015. The counties of Oakland and Macomb are part of Detroit metro, north of the city center -- and Detroit's the veritable Mecca of car-centrism.

Warren Mayor Fouts to veto approval of used car lots, by Norb Franz (Daily Tribune)

Reiterating his concern that Warren will be dubbed “used car lot city,” Mayor James Fouts said Monday he will veto the City Council’s unanimous approval of another used car sales lot and the expansion of a second one ...

... on Eight Mile at Albany Avenue, Majed Marogi purchased vacant parcels and buildings next to his existing Julian Auto Sales and proposed to expand the size of his sales lot by tearing down empty buildings and installing wrought iron fencing.

“It’s going to be such an improvement,” Mallet said.

“It’s exciting to see business come to that area of the city,” Councilwoman Kelly Colegio said.

The wrong type of business, according to Fouts.

“Even if this was going to be a stellar used car lot that everyone is proud of … it’s still a used car lot and sends the wrong message,” he said.

Along East Spring Street amid the acreage comprising the East Spring Street Neighborhood Association (ESNA), a used car lot has been located on the northeast corner of 15th for quite a while.

Just a few months ago, an auto repair business appeared on the southwest corner of 15th and Spring, next to the body shop that's been operating there for decades.

Now the owner of HyperCars, a newly minted auto detailing shop in the former ServPro building on the southwest corner of Spring and 13th, wants to sell "luxury" used cars.

This recurring word, "luxury." But like Mayor Fouts up in Warren said, "it's still a used car lot."

I looked all over New Albany's zoning code and found no reference to "luxury" anything. The C-1b zoning classification refers to a "local" business, and it references the stipulations of C-1a, which seems to be describing small neighborhood retail shops, not car sales, hence the special exception being sought.

I'm the first to admit that the owner of HyperCars has improved the appearance of the building, and you've got to hand it to him for keeping up with current events in New Albany, and grasping City Hall's fetish for "luxury" over all other modifiers, whether applicable to products and services or the human condition itself.

I find it annoying for other, more sadly comprehensive reasons.

When I finally was allowed to attend an ESNA meeting recently and the question of used car sales at HyperCars was raised, the association's Greg Roberts said there'd be none.

Yesterday I asked Greg for a clarification, and he offered this revision: it seems the neighborhood elders have been monitoring the situation, and they knew all along that HyperCars someday would seek to park no more than seven cars at a time on the lot for sale, but no one thought the business actually would pursue an exception this quickly, and learned of it only when the Plan Commission mailing arrived.

That's poor communication on several levels.

The larger irony of yet another used car lot on Spring Street in a residential neighborhood is that when internationally renowned expert Jeff Speck wrote a street grid plan for New Albany, it was significant precisely because it showed how we could begin transforming downtown into a walking, bicycling kind of place.

Then Mayor Jeff Gahan, whose fundamental car-centrism no longer is a topic for debate, blithely stripped Speck's plan of nearly all its usefulness for walking and biking, declared war on street trees, loudly announced victory, and voila -- traffic's barely slowed, the pedestrian crossing signals are a joke worthy of late-night television monologues, almost all of Speck's proposed bicycle infrastructure was deposited on the cutting room floor, and now there's to be an automobile-related business coming to every vacant commercial space on Spring Street.

Combine the purely intentional street grid regression with the Plan Commission's concurrent consideration this week of the peak car-centric Summit Springs Raised Middle Finger, Phase Two ...

Plan Commission to consider phase two of the Summit Springs Kelley Enrichment cluster muck development atrocity.

... and one has no choice except to confirm the wisdom of my high school baseball coach, who turned to us after a botched play and said, "He could fuck up a wet dream."

Yes, indeed. Jeff Gahan's very adept at that.

#FireGahan2019

What can two-way drivers see that one-way driver's didn't?

When Spring Street was reverted to two way traffic, some of the first comments I heard were about the urban tableau "looking different" than it did before.

As someone who walks a lot, this observation didn't make sense to me, at least until I realized that for many people a one-way perspective has been virtually the only one they've ever seen ... while driving through downtown, rarely walking.

Following are some examples of this phenomenon. Please submit yours, and I'll post them after I return from vacation.

Dress & Dwell's new west-facing logo might be a coincidence given the ongoing alley beautification project, but it definitely stands out for those traveling east on Spring.

Businesses on the Pearl Street side of the old Opera House now can be seen by drivers and passengers who are headed east.

Unfortunately, so can the terminally vacant former La Rosita space. Perhaps an expanded point of view will help conjure a buyer or new tenants (hint: signage larger than a sheet of paper might help achieving this aim).

Over on Market, you've always seen this side.

Now there's balance.

In closing, don't forget to two-way your banners.

D-Day for Two-Way 2017 is underway on Spring Street.

I'm happy to witness the end of the beginning on Spring Street. Ironically, the first object I saw moving eastbound was a bicyclist. There's something hopeful about that.

If I didn't have to drive to Indianapolis, I'd start drinking now.

Terrified populace braces for 2-way apocalypse, coming later today, only a decade too late.

I went immediately to New Albany City Hall to check today's streets plan. The last post was dated August 8.

Then, City of New Albany Government at Facebook. The last mention of streets came on August 22.

Maybe Develop New Albany could be of help. Needless to say, neither streets info nor repentance is to be found there.

However, we're told that today at some as yet undefined juncture, Spring Street will revert to two-way traffic after a half-century in captivity.

Pearl and Bank are to follow tomorrow, then Market, and finally Elm. September 30 is the deadline for erasing the city's damaging one-way mentality, albeit it with anchors symbolic of stasis marking every corner.

Imagery never was their strong point. As luck would have it, I'll be in Indianapolis the next two days. On social media, my co-conspirator Jeff Gillenwater (who is welcome to post in my absence) summarized the end of the beginning.

The gist of the arguments seems to go something like this: Spending money to redesign streets is a waste because it will have no positive effect. People driving cars will not slow down and pay more attention no matter what you do. However, if there are any problems on those streets in the future owing to those drivers not slowing down and not paying more attention, they can be attributed pretty much entirely to the redesign.

From the inception of the city's grandiloquently fashioned "Downtown Grid Modernization Project," I've tagged it with snark as a rumor. You would, too, had you spent more than a decade listening to barely cognizant local politicians assure you that progress was just around the corner, and when the corner proved to be as distant as free beer tomorrow.

All I have to say in closing is this: It's about goddammned time, laggards.

Spring Street weekend lane closure: Municipal communication will remain one-way even as streets revert to both directions.

Just wanted to see if he could make it, and he did. 

For those curious about the division of Spring Street over the weekend by orange pylons, the explanation was surreptitiously posted on social media at 3:51 p.m. on Friday.

City of New Albany Government

As part of the ongoing 2-way streets conversion, one lane of Spring Street will be closed over the weekend. This closure is to prepare for the striping and pavement markings that will take place early Monday morning. Thank you for your patience as we complete this important infrastructure work.

Absolutely no work has taken place in these demarcated areas during the 40+ hours elapsing since, but it must be said that the effect has been somewhat calming in terms of traffic.

Maybe they're on to something, finally.

Nah.

Two-way paving: "During this time of highly-anticipated construction, please add signage that instructs the drivers on what to do in the meantime."

Hannegan Roseberry has an excellent letter in the Hansonator.

Among other unintended "interim" outcomes, she can see that a newly paved, unstriped Spring Street will result in yet another 5-10 mph bump in vehicular speeds (the first came after upper Spring Street was narrowed and the toll bridges opened).

In short, without bike lane markings to narrow Spring Street's ridiculously wide lanes, we'll be seeing drivers passing on the right and motorcyclists five abreast.

On a related note, since Dear Leader's sadly belated two-way street project began last week with paving on Spring Street, the social media airwaves have been choked with lamentations and venom.

In what might serve as this blog's mission statement (or its epitaph), it remains that you're entitled to your own opinion -- just not your own facts. Before taking a look at Hannegan's letter, let's indulge in a reprise.

The Return of the Two-Way Street: Why the double-yellow stripe is making a comeback in downtowns.

The Many Benefits of Making One-Way Streets Two-Way.

Why we fight: In 2014, Jeff Speck told us how street design impacts our city.

Traffic myths that won't die.

Watch the video of Dr. John Gilderbloom's two-way streets presentation last night.

Now, over to the neighbor.

Signage needed to help drivers in New Albany

As a resident of downtown New Albany and a Spring Street dweller, I am thrilled that the implementation of two-way streets has begun at long last. However, I do want to make a serious safety request. The traffic cones marking various work areas are causing serious and potentially dangerous traffic confusion, as there is no accompanying signage denoting what the cones mean. Meaning, the cones sort of look like lanes and cars appear to be making their own decisions as to what the cones mean ...

It looks like the demolition of the old Tommy Lancaster's on Market is underway. Presumably, Gahanesque luxury is on the horizon.

Only the functionaries deep within the shadowy bowels of the Redevelopment Commission know for sure, but they're not talking, and it appears the building formerly housing the Tommy Lancaster restaurant is being gutted in preparation for whatever TIF-laden grandiosity is to come.

Last April, we looked at the gradual process by which absentee owner Vinod Gupta's properties on Market and King Streets were being absorbed by the city of New Albany.

Have a look at Vinod Gupta's Discounted IN Properties.

It turns out that the Floridian seller, Vinod Gupta, is a big-time dealer in "discounted" properties (thanks to T for the link).

And this:

Coming soon: The Gupta Vincennes Revitalization Project, built to Caesar-surface glam standards.

Meanwhile, Vinod Gupta, who lives in Florida, made out like a bandit, tripling his money for six years of do-nothingness. Gupta owns 45 properties in Floyd County, and no doubt hopes the likes of (Bob) Caesar convinces the city to overpay him for those, too -- I mean, we simply must make the squalor LOOK better, mustn't we?

Recent Elevate map excerpts (below) show that Gupta's former parcels near (and including) the former Lancaster's have been snatched up by the city, in addition to what used to be Market Boy. Fronting King Street, two city-owned parcels are separated from each other by three properties identified only as "NULL" at the database, suggesting that all five have been joined together.

The vacant corner lot at Vincennes and King remains in private hands. One wonders for how long, and whether a soccer stadium can be made to fit in such a small area. I'm also curious about the city being listed as owner of the railroad right-of-way (final map).

It is probable that Main Street-style beautification lies in store for this area. It's the most efficient means of campaign finance monetization for Jeff Gahan, and we've already outlined his predictably wasted opportunity to civilize Vincennes Street utilizing Jeff Speck's sensible plan.

Imagine heavy trucks still roaring past on Vincennes, with a few garish (and subsidized) painted ladies in a row on King Street, and suburban-style strip mall on the Market Street side, complete with vape shop, nail salon and payday loan operation. Develop New Albany will fall over itself to commission plaques and Pillar awards. Caesar will be delighted; see how nice it all looks now?

Then, when beaks are wet and rosy, perhaps someone can remind the mayor that he hasn't even gotten the $3 million Main Street Rosenbargerization Project right.

Walkability? Fat chance.

Then again, those millions don't tell the whole story, as now the seasonal landscaping and park-like maintenance of Main Street is underway again, thereby enhancing the property values of adjoining advocates of beautification who have continued to insist against all human rationality that none of this was intended to enhance their property values ... but me, I'm waiting for my verge to be similarly manicured, although I'd forego the manicure if they'd just remove the stumps that have been moldering out there for so many years, and of course I'd be even happier if my council representative beamed back down and actually noticed ANY of these things right in front of his house.

In New Albany, holding your breath surely helps with the stench, but you run the risk of suffocating before anyone in a position of authority beholds the obvious.

#GahanSafe: All the push-button "walk" signals for crossing Spring at Pearl are defective, and have been for five months to a year.

Way back in March, I pointed out that one "beg button" (push-button crossing signal) on each post at each corner of the intersection of Spring and Pearl was not functional.

Why does Team Gahan always pee on pedestrians?

In New Albany, push button crosswalk signals are not placebos. Walkers actually must push the "beg button" to receive a safe (often a facetious term) signal to cross. If the button malfunctions, there'll be no signal -- ever.

Even in March, it had been this way for a while, with at least two of them broken as far back as September, 2015. Now we've gone through almost an entire summer-season Bicentennial Park concert series cycle with nothing done to correct the problem.

We cannot know if the push-button crosswalk buttons work when so many of them are broken.

It is almost always the cities with push-button crossings that need the most help ... push-buttons almost always mean that the automobile dominates, as they are typically installed in conjunction with a new signal timing in which crossing times are shorter and less frequent.

Specifically, the push-buttons for crossing Spring both north and south on both sides of Pearl Street do not work. This morning I took the time to test each one and to watch. It is physically impossible for a pedestrian to get a "walk" signal crossing Spring Street at this intersection. It has been impossible for at least five months, and probably far longer.

Pictured are the push-buttons that are defective.

To repeat what I wrote in March:

If Jeff Gahan isn't going to do anything substantive to make New Albany a walkable city, can't he just say so aloud, for attribution, and free us from the pain of watching him prevaricate?

Any suggestion he makes to the contrary is being disproved every single day on real city streets, where nothing is being done to indicate any serious intent to improve walkability, and plenty is being done to discourage it. There's only one honest way to conclude these thoughts:

Mr. Mayor, as it pertains to walkability, just shit or get off the pot.

You're embarrassing the city by making private promises constantly contradicted by public indifference -- by your bizarre insistence that you're making omelettes without breaking eggs. Even your own people know it's a shell game.

Join me for an actual walk some day, and I'll show you exactly how urban walking works in real life, as opposed to the fantasyland bunker you prefer inhabiting. The same offer goes for your minions.

Do any of you walk downtown, ever?

Wrong-way deer on wrong-way Spring Street in wrong-way city. At least there'll be venison tarts for high tea.

We received this report late Wednesday night from an observer situated near Vincennes Street.

Just witnessed a deer running down Spring Street. That was a strange sight because she was headed the wrong way. Another reason for two-way streets.

Bob Caesar quickly faxed a statement to the press.

This obviously was an anti-establishment deer to have been running the wrong way on a right-way street that quickly and efficiently brings customers to read the "closed" sign on my former business. 

Speaking for the elected mayor, his communications coordinator offered this:

The Board of Public Works and Safety has awarded a $25,000 contract to HWC Engineering for a detailed study to determine better ways of monetizing this deer's route for enhance public safety and campaign finance.

According to police chief Todd Bailey,

We believe the deer escaped from the petting zoo planned for the bocce courts at Break Wind, but if you really want to know, you'll have the ask the prosecutor's office. 

As usual, Irv Stumler gets the last word.

"New Albany has a long way to go on street safety," says Broken Sidewalk in an understatement for the ages.

From Broken Sidewalk,  the grim aerial view of Mr. Naps' pride 'n' joy.

I just can't wait until Tuesday morning, when the Board of Public Works and Safety will meet and say absolutely nothing about any of this. There'll probably be a gag order, so as to suppress the gag reflex.

In point of fact, the three members sitting on the board should immediately offer their resignations to the mayor, who should refuse them and accept personal responsibility for this inescapable fact (emphasis mine) quickly grasped by Broken Sidewalk ...

But the city should have seen this one coming. Back in 2014, urban planner Jeff Speck issued a report on the streets of downtown New Albany in which he identified Vincennes Street as “clearly oversized for its traffic” ... He recommended a reconfiguration to improve safety.

 ... because you see, that's what leaders do, as opposed to empty suits. Accept responsibility, and tell us how this is going to be improved.

Too bad the pages of Speck's report have been misused, one sheet at a time, for succor in the mayor's executive washroom. Too bad incessant warnings about safety are dismissed by the very people who are supposed to be monitoring such issues.

Too bad City Hall is dysfunctional, and too bad this thoughtful observation on Fb is true.

While I am glad to see another voice in the discussion, everything stated by Broken Sidewalk was already known, and you have been beating that drum for years. As I said before, I have no expectation that the current administration will do anything.

Now, about those towels ...

Woman killed by motorist in New Albany, by Branden Klayko (Broken Sidewalk)

Chloe Allen, 83, is dead after being struck by a motorist in downtown New Albany over the weekend ...

... While a great deal of information was rendered by an investigation, it’s unfortunate that for the sake of a catchy acronym, the unit is labeled the Floyd County Combined Accident Reconstruction Team. As we have discussed many times, crashes and accidents are very different things and should not be mislabeled.

All of the local news reported that the pedestrian was struck “by a vehicle” rather than the driver of that vehicle. Cars and trucks don’t drive themselves—people crash them into things. Both WDRB and WHAS11 labeled the crash an accident, with WHAS11 going as far as to include a large “Accident” graphic complete with cracked windshield illustrating its report ...

... New Albany has really let itself go at this intersection, allowing an anti-urban Walgreens, White Castle, and Rally’s to be built behind moats of parking that make walking unsafe. Low visibility crosswalks are clearly worn away by vehicle tires, compounding the walkability issue.

But the city should have seen this one coming. Back in 2014, urban planner Jeff Speck issued a report on the streets of downtown New Albany in which he identified Vincennes Street as “clearly oversized for its traffic.” Speck wrote of the three-lane street: “At no point do car accounts approach the number that would require a third lane. This condition is supported by the fact that the third lane, rather then (sic) being striped for left turns, merely provides northbound redundancy with no southbound counterpart.” He recommended a reconfiguration to improve safety.

R.I.P. Chloe Allen.

Smart Growth America's Complete Streets Fundamentals

We are the Killers.

Coming soon: The Gupta Vincennes Revitalization Project, built to Caesar-surface glam standards.

Folks near Vincennes have been talking about this for months. From September 23, 2015:

Birdseye, here we come: Is Vincennes Street to be the next victim of non-Speck "beautification"?

Now this.

New Albany purchases former Tommy Lancaster's property, by Jerod Clapp (Cooking School at Church)

NEW ALBANY — After sitting vacant, blighted and vandalized for years, New Albany’s Redevelopment Commission approved the purchase of all six parcels of the former Tommy Lancaster restaurant at 1629 E. Market St.

This week, the commission approved the purchase of the parcels — which included the building and the area around it — for $78,840.

From the mouths of the clueless comes drollery, and accordingly, Bob Caesar echoes time-honored conventional wisdom: We needn't interfere with fundamental reality, just hurry and make it LOOK better, so as not to weigh on the orderly sensibilities of suburbanites.

“It’s another small effort to clean up some blighted areas. That whole corner of Market and Vincennes has looked bad for a long number years,” Caesar said. “John Neace [a real estate investor] cleaned up the other side of that road and made it presentable, and other investors have put money into Vincennes Street and have been successful.

“I think if we could acquire all of that, it would be a real asset for the city.”

Meanwhile, Vinod Gupta, who lives in Florida, made out like a bandit, tripling his money for six years of do-nothingness. Gupta owns 45 properties in Floyd County, and no doubt hopes the likes of Caesar convinces the city to overpay him for those, too -- I mean, we simply must make the squalor LOOK better, mustn't we?

The eGIS map excerpts below show Gupta's parcels near (and including) the former Lancaster's.

The corner property at King and Vincennes is vacant but has an owner (who also owns the former Graf Dodge building), and Market Boy still controls its building and the corner parking lot on Market & Vincennes.

Imagine the subliminal messages Market Boy sends Caesar. He probably can't sleep after those rare occasions of venturing into Uptown.

A few weeks ago on a miserable, overcast day, I took a few photos of the area. Note that the dilapidated blue house is not a Gupta property, and has been cited by David Brewer's office. It appears to be empty, but you might recognize it from the mayor's press release belatedly touting rental property registration and enforcement.

Previous rumors suggested the city's interest in commercial development in this area. Now the whispers hint at more painted ladies.

Hurry: Four of Jeff Gahan's delightful gingerbread houses in Midtown remain up for grabs.

It's worth remembering that two huge factors invariably go unmentioned in periodic discussions about the Vincennes corridor.

First, echoing the Speck study, Vincennes Street is ridiculously configured given the traffic it carries. More importantly, the future disposition of one-way Spring and Market streets is critical for any revitalization plan slated for Gupta Land. To keep these streets as they are is to reduce the value of any investments made there.

With the stalwarts of Team Gahan as yet funneling streets engineering cash to the company Duggins' wife works for (was it a competitive bid, Warren?), positing changes to the vacant lots is putting carts before horses. In short: Just like always.

Second, there's the reality mentioned more than once in these pages, namely that the Vincennes corridor's degradation began on the day after the railroad closed the K & I auto lanes, circa 1979. In the modern paradigm, the best conceivable revitalization strategy for this area is a K & I reopened to walkers and bicyclists; the needed private investment would soon follow, without the low comedy of Team Gahan serving as property consultants and developers.

Unfortunately, the K & I gambit is a long shot.

My guess? Main Street-style beautification for Vincennes, which ignores complete street basics; half-ass (or no-ass) "calming" on market and Spring, also serving no useful ultimate purpose; garish painted ladies in a row; and a cheap strip mall with a nail salon and payday loan operation.

Caesar will be delighted: See how nice it looks now?