First I Look at the Purse.

I don't care if you got yourself a wrap
all I want is your pretty green cash
Bought me a suit, bought me a car
Want me to look like a Hollywood star
Money, (Money!) I want money (Money!)
Baby, ain't no "why", baby (Money!)
I need money!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!

Changes to Slate Run Road project total $676k, by Daniel Suddeath (Hanson's Old White Male Digest)

Slate Run Road work continues as the New Albany Redevelopment Commission has taken some steps to rectify problems discovered with soil conditions.

NEW ALBANY — They were informed earlier this month that addressing issues with the Slate Run Road improvement project would cost more money, and on Tuesday, members of the New Albany Redevelopment Commission found out the cost.

A change order for $676,140 was unanimously OK’d by the commission after a brief discussion on why the cost for the project is increasing. The costs include some expenses beyond the steps that will have to be taken to adjust for the soil conditions that have led to delays in finishing the road project.

Redevelopment Director Josh Staten told the commission during the virtual meeting that the change order for the project contractor, Temple & Temple, includes additional drainage work and mediation of soil conditions that city officials said were discovered after paving work had already began ...

... Staten said Tuesday he isn’t sure when the project will be completed, but believes construction can be finished “pretty soon” with the additional steps that have been taken.

“This is about finishing the road and getting the best finished project we can get for that neighborhood,” he said.

City Engineer Larry Summers was asked if the additional remediation has helped since being approved earlier this month.

The contractor has continued to make progress over the past two weeks, and that paving should commence this week on the northern end of the project near Charlestown Road, he said.

“We have done what we can to make sure that we provide a good product for the citizens in the end,” Summers said.

Commission member Adam Dickey said about half of the change order costs appeared to be tied to drainage improvements that were added to the project.

“I think it’s important that we move forward with this and get this wrapped up,” he said.

Particularly in Nawbany: "Why We Need to Dream Bigger Than Bike Lanes."

"We can’t let car companies again shape the vision for our future; if we don’t dream big now, we may never get the chance again. Let’s let’s elevate a different kind of transportation infrastructure that recognizes universal basic mobility as a human right and brings it to every man, woman, and child. If we don’t think of micromobility as the serious solution to a whole host of societal and environmental problems, then who will?"

I'll never forget, back when we were asking only that City Hall implement the entirety of Jeff Speck's street grid network proposals -- which in addition to calling for a reversion to two-way traffic prioritized a state-of-the-art downtown bicycle network -- these potentially transformative improvements were blithely characterized as outlandish by Greg Phipps (councilman) and Greg Roberts (ESNA). Modernity was cackled out of the room as going way too far for primeval New Gahanians, not just by these two, but by other "progressives" who seldom are.

By their unwillingness to do the homework, to try to understand exactly what Speck was aiming at, and to do battle ... with their abject eagerness to stroke Dear Leader's ego ... community "leaders" like these abetted Jeff Gahan's whopper of a bait 'n' switch on the street grid. Promises abandoned, Gahan commissioned HWC Engineering to gut a wonderful walkability and biking enhancement program, recasting it into yet another re-election omnibus paving project, retaining the basic two-way reversion but rendering it almost useless through timidity and incomprehension.

Then again, when's the last time you've seen Gahan or any of his sycophants walking or biking?

Yes, Dear Leader gifted us with two-way streets, and they've been mildly effective, albeit neutered by constraints into insensibility. Perhaps that's why the drivers are still treating downtown streets like race tracks.

But that's fine. Just push that button and the drivers from elsewhere will let you cross the street, just so long as it doesn't add seconds to their cross-town commute. 

Why We Need to Dream Bigger Than Bike Lanes, by Terenig Topjian (CityLab)

In the 1930s big auto dreamed up freeways and demanded massive car infrastructure. Micromobility needs its own Futurama—one where cars are marginalized.

There’s a quote that’s stuck with me for some time from Aaron Sorkin’s The Newsroom: “You know why people don't like liberals? Because they lose. If liberals are so f***ing smart, how come they lose so goddamn always?”

American urbanists and bike advocates are smart, or at least well informed. We know how important cycling is. We are educated about cycling cities in other parts of the world and how they are so much better for health, well-being, economics, traffic, pollution, climate, equity, personal freedom, and on and on.

But if we’re so smart how come we lose so goddamn always?

Why is the best we seem to be able to accomplish just a few miles of striped asphalt bike “lanes,” or if we’re lucky, a few blocks of plastic pylons—“protected” bike lanes?

Our current model is to beg for twigs
More often than not, bike infrastructure is created reactively. Typically in response to a collision or near collision with a car, an individual or advocacy group identifies a single route that needs better infrastructure. We gather community support and lobby local officials for the desired change, trying as hard as we can to ask for the cheapest, smallest changes so that our requests will be seen as realistic.

What’s the problem with this model?

It’s like imagining a bridge and asking for twigs—useless, unable to bear any meaningful weight, easily broken. And it’s treating bike infrastructure like a hopeless charity case.

This makes bike infrastructure seem like a small, special-interest demand that produces no real results in terms of shifting to sustainable transportation, and it makes those giving up road space and tax dollars feel as though they are supporting a hopeless charity.

But when roads, highways, and bridges are designed and built, they aren’t done one neighborhood at a time, one city-council approval at a time. We don’t build a few miles of track, or lay down some asphalt wherever there is “local support” and then leave 10-mile gaps in between.

And yet this is exactly how we “plan” bike infrastructure.

Bike lanes are intermittent at best in most North American cities, and since they are usually paint jobs that put cyclists between fast-moving traffic and parked cars with doors that capriciously swing open, only experienced riders brave them. The lanes are easily blocked anyway, by police, delivery trucks, and film crews, if not random cars banking on the low likelihood of being ticketed.

This kind of bike “infrastructure” doesn’t actually do very much to protect existing cyclists, let alone encourage and inspire the general population to start cycling.

Why are we settling for easily broken twigs? The total number of people on bikes and other micromobility modes like scooters and skateboards is large and growing. An enormous force has been divided and conquered, splintered among thousands of neighborhoods ...

Divided is the way we're kept by the country's Gahans. It is purposeful. If you intend to insist on being characterized as a "progressive," maybe a good place to start is to progress past the insipid lies and self-aggrandizing campaign finance schemes of the local C-minus students, and start standing up for grassroots solutions calculated to improve the place where you live.

Yo, progressives -- sidewalks are a social justice issue. But we spend a lot more on paving, don't we?

Don't strain your eyes looking. There were no signs warning of a closed sidewalk throughout the period of work, even though handicapped users could not pass. How much effort can it possibly take to think FIRST about walkers and handicapped users? 

My new work schedule has made it somewhat impractical to attend city council meetings, but I can still read the minutes.

It's budget time, and in the minutes from August 16 there was a casual mention of combining money from two different funds to free as much as $3 million for paving in 2019. Note that this sum addresses paving alone. It does not include various other street expenditures, the bulk of which go toward automotive-enoblement projects.

It would be interesting to arrive at a comparison of car-centric expenditures and those going to improve and enhance non-automotive options. I think it's safe to say that sidewalks (to name just one) receive much less investment on an annual basis. At the risk of error, my guess is that we rely primarily on Community Development Block Grants for the cash for sidewalk improvements. This excerpt is from the 2015 CDBG draft.

Sidewalk Spot Improvements $1,100,000: Funded throughout the Five-Year Plan to provide for improvements where deteriorated sidewalks restrict connections that can benefit pedestrians or to repair spot basis sidewalks where incidental deterioration exists. Sidewalk improvements of approximately 1,795 linear feet are planned each year. Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) compliant ramps are included.

Um, impressive.

Dear reader, do you think of yourself as a progressive? If so, are you aware that deteriorating or non-existent sidewalks are a social justice problem of escalating dimension?

Read on, if you dare.

Crumbling Sidewalks Become a Legal Battleground, by Adina Solomon (CityLab)

A lawsuit in Atlanta reflects a growing movement that demands accessible, well-maintained sidewalks—and rejects budgetary constraints as an excuse.

I'm shocked -- SHOCKED -- at the possibility of cities not properly budgeting for sidewalks.

For one thing, the ADA became law nearly three decades ago, in 1990. Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, which guarantees certain rights to people with disabilities, dates back to 1973.

“At this point, it’s hard to imagine that cities aren’t appropriately accessible,” says James Harrington, an adjunct professor at the University of Texas at Austin and founder of the Texas Civil Rights Project. He has worked on sidewalk-related cases in Texas. “The ultimate defense, of course, is they can’t afford it, but when you’re looking at 30 years of notice, then it’s hard for them to say they can’t afford it had they not structured it into their budget as they were supposed to from the beginning.”

Attorney James Radford, who is representing the plaintiffs in Atlanta, says he spent two to three years on research before filing the lawsuit. He met with people in wheelchairs and looked at sidewalks across the city to gauge whether maintenance was a systemic issue. He also found a 2010 report from Atlanta’s Department of Public Works saying 18 percent of the city’s sidewalk network was categorized as deteriorated.

“If you look at the budgets over time, they just decided not to fix it,” Radford says.

But ... but ... annual paving is the very basis of pay-to-play!

And it’s important to remember that it isn’t just a matter of convenience.

“Cities should invest in sidewalks if they want to increase walkability, often for some of the most vulnerable parts of the population, but [also] for the general population as a whole,” Loukaitou-Sideris says. “Now that we have the back-to-the-city movement, we have more people walking or wanting to walk. As costly as it is, it is not as costly as paving highways.”

Of course, New Albany municipal bureaucrats typically cite their own long-neglected sidewalks as an excuse to mow down street trees accused of buckling walkways, but subsequently they repair only a fraction of the sidewalks thus liberated from the insidious tyranny of shade.

Can old trees and sidewalk repairs co-exist? New Albany's lickspittle clique says no, but surely there's a way, although we probably won't discover a solution for so long as Nanny Barksdale insists on clearcutting anything green (except money).

Seismologists record earthshaking Tree Board orgasms as Schoolmaster Barksdale's chain saw strikes again.

Meanwhile, the newspaper's most recent reporter hire dug a bit and learned that the street tree recently landing atop a car on the south side of the 100 block Market Street -- this being the side of the street slated for zero improvements according to the city's latest sycophant-endorsed plastic Disneyfication plan -- had been reported repeatedly to the city by the business owners nearest it.

Here finally was an obviously rotting tree, one certifiably justifying pre-emptive removal, and of course the city did nothing; however, once the tree fell, all remaining living things on the block were removed and light landscaping followed at a glacial pace, taking something like six days, with parking in front of the salon blocked throughout.

That'll show them for running to the newspaper instead of Big Daddy G. As for Ms. McAfee, she'd best be careful with truth-telling like this. Deaf Gahan might get huffy and cancel his newspaper ads -- and without ads, how can Bill dispatch an editor all the way to Evansville to cover Herr Drumpf?

New Albany business owners frustrated with delays in removing tree, by Brooke McAfee (Tom May[de] in the Shade)

NEW ALBANY—Local business owner Angela Shaughnessy said she wishes the City of New Albany had taken immediate action to remove a hazardous tree before it fell.

On Wednesday, a tree uprooted and fell on top of a car parked downtown on Market Street in New Albany.

The car was damaged, but it was unoccupied at the time. No injuries were reported.

Shaughnessy, co-owner of Downtown Style on Market Street, said she and her business partner have called the City of New Albany multiple times about their concerns with the tree. The tree was located outside of her beauty salon, and she noticed that large portions of the tree's base were visibly hollow.

"I don’t know how it was still standing," she said ...

Paving news, but before that, a review of pro-Gahan campaign finance "engineered" by HMB and HWC.

Let's talk about paving, but first, who's this guy popping up on Mayor Jeff Gahan's 2017 campaign finance report?

Brad Meyer is the president of HMB Professional Engineers, Inc.

By an amazing coincidence, HMB is the employer of AdamBot, someone we all know and love.

And HMB formerly employed Paul Lincks, who sensibly moved from one set of engineers to another a couple of years back, because ...

 ... it was just in time to get in on the greatest de-Specked sausage of all, HWC Engineering's two-way street grid plan.

As engineers, HWC can spot which side of the bread slice to butter from as far away as China, while wearing blinders, and fully juiced on Kool-Aid. For instance, this Mr. Jolliffe fellow?

You catch on quick.

By the way, city council talked about paving last week. It's so vitally important that Mayor Jeff Gahan didn't attend the meeting, and isn't picking up the phones.

Mike Hall, a spokesperson for Mayor Jeff Gahan, said road paving selection is based on the city's Asset Management Plan that was developed by Clark Dietz Engineers.

Miraculously, no 2017 campaign donations can be traced to Clark Dietz, so give us a little more time.

At last Monday's meeting, the reporter missed some of the very best performance art in recent memory, when city engineer Larry Summers repeatedly and meticulously detailed his crushing workload as hod carrier to the mayor as proof that he couldn't possibly meet for as little as an hour with CM Scott Blair, who along with CM Bob Caesar recently has taken to discussing various new and innovative ways of patching potholes.

But before patches can be connected to potholes, campaign finance must be connected to the mayor!

You could see the exasperation on Summers' face: must I say this aloud for these idiotic council minions to "get it"?

Hence the unintended irony of the editor's subhead: Some council members think more is needed.

Hell yes. It's always the mayor who needs more, isn't it?

See that conveyor belt over there, disappearing into the bowels of the earth?

Feed it and see. It doesn't mean Gahan ever will attend a meeting or climb out from the bunker, where an abacus works overtime, just like Summers, but it does mean Hall might return your calls more quickly.

If your credit's good.

New Albany City Council allocates $1M for paving, by Chris Morris (Tom May Forever)

Some council members think more is needed

NEW ALBANY — Old Man Winter has finally left the area, but not before leaving plenty of potholes behind. Cold temperatures can be hard on road surfaces, and New Albany has its share of crumbling asphalt.

City officials are now finalizing a list of streets and begin the paving season.

But there seems to be more potholes than money, so many of those streets in need of a new surface may have to wait another year.

The New Albany City Council approved $1 million for paving this year at its meeting on May 7. The money will come out of the Economic Development Income Tax fund.

The council advertised $1.5 for paving in case the majority wanted an extra $500,000, but after discussion the council voted unanimously to approve $1 million.

While $1 million seems like a lot of money, it doesn't go a long way when it comes to laying new asphalt. Some New Albany City Council members would like to see more money dedicated to road and sidewalk repairs.

ASK THE BORED: This might be BOW's best parking idea yet -- and ideal for the week ahead, too.

Tuesday evening update: Councilman Al Knable looked into this: "These signs are slated to come down for Harvest Homecoming weekend if scheduled work can’t be finished by (Wednesday)."

This sign is one of many posted along Main Street, as forwarded by Main Street resident Josh Pavey.

It came into NAC too late for this morning's BOW conclave, so I'll ask the obvious question in this forum:

Whose bright idea was it to approve a prohibition on parking, on Main Street, during the week of Harvest Homecoming?

In the annals of the Chronicles of New Gahania, perhaps only the street piano beats this, though maybe if MAC rushes the job, it can be redone for a third (fourth?) time by the advent of Harvest Homecoming 2019.

ASK THE BORED: At the corner of 7th & Market, BOW celebrates two weeks of non-access for handicapped sidewalk users.

No, it isn't the sort of celebration we'd like to see, but BOW as yet has made no effort to wrap its institutional arms around modernity. It's merely procedural, Warren. You must develop good habits, and to develop them, you must acknowledge you have a problem.

Instead of this: "How will (a proposal) affect parking/traffic/cars?"

You ask this: "How will (a proposal) affect handicapped users without cars?"

In practically all annual cases, just tiny bits of forethought designed to remove two-week blockages will have no ultimate effect on the Holy Writ of Autocentrism. However, these instances will immeasurably assist the disabled in getting back and forth.

It's cultural, Warren. You're in charge. Think you might get to the task of changing the culture -- or must Jeff Gahan present it first?

When you arrive at an answer, can you have the Democratic Party ring us?

Meanwhile, here are a few highlights from the BOW meeting of Tuesday, May 30. Leading off, MAC Construction once again wins a low paving bid, although even the chairman seemed surprised at the numbers.

If $49,999 is divvied up between the Gahan for Life Fund and consulting firms owned by the mayor's minions, can someone call the Justice Department?

Better yet, observe the two instances of public reassurance with respect to tightened paving quality standards.

Could it be that those stacks of Main Street Beautification Project complaints directed against MAC finally have Team Gahan's heads turning with regard to perennially low performance standards?

Now a bit about the downtown street modernization rumor.

Market Street is next to be repaved, as slated for a June 12 start. Finally, $200K™ came forward to tackle Parking Problem #214.

The unasked and unanswered question: Does ordinance enforcement begin or end with this block?

Don't hold your breath waiting for $200K™ to answer.

ASK THE BORED: Anti-climactic paving bids, Elm Street speedway work and the forthcoming W. 1st and Main intersection.

The minutes from May 23 are in, and the low bid for this season's citywide paving extravaganza ... like always ...

MAC! MAC! MAC!

No word on the inevitable re-dos, do-overs, or other famous stuffed-envelope-driven hallmarks of beak wetting borne of annual paving -- but guys, low bid!

Meanwhile, two other items about grid modernization (i.e., paving) and the W. 1st and Main work.

Elm Street paving begins now. There'll be a second street where average traffic speeds increase by 15% prior to the two-way restriping.

Finally, the quarter-million dollar W. 1st Street and Main Street Crosswalk project, photos of which follow, draws nearer to completion.

For a reprise of the long exhausting march toward a human-friendly intersection, with Team Gahan resisting every step, consult this popular previous post.

ASK THE BORED: It's a pretty penny, but safety for humans at the intersection of Main and W. 1st draws nearer.

This is welcome news, and takes on added importance given the resistance with which City Hall initially greeted the idea. I'll never forget being informed in detail as to the absolute impossibility of such a human-friendly notion -- although negotiating with INDOT to ensure 2015 election-year street paving on Main rather than substantive dialogue about safety proved to be a very do-able priority.

They do excel at certain things.

Two-way paving: "During this time of highly-anticipated construction, please add signage that instructs the drivers on what to do in the meantime."

Hannegan Roseberry has an excellent letter in the Hansonator.

Among other unintended "interim" outcomes, she can see that a newly paved, unstriped Spring Street will result in yet another 5-10 mph bump in vehicular speeds (the first came after upper Spring Street was narrowed and the toll bridges opened).

In short, without bike lane markings to narrow Spring Street's ridiculously wide lanes, we'll be seeing drivers passing on the right and motorcyclists five abreast.

On a related note, since Dear Leader's sadly belated two-way street project began last week with paving on Spring Street, the social media airwaves have been choked with lamentations and venom.

In what might serve as this blog's mission statement (or its epitaph), it remains that you're entitled to your own opinion -- just not your own facts. Before taking a look at Hannegan's letter, let's indulge in a reprise.

The Return of the Two-Way Street: Why the double-yellow stripe is making a comeback in downtowns.

The Many Benefits of Making One-Way Streets Two-Way.

Why we fight: In 2014, Jeff Speck told us how street design impacts our city.

Traffic myths that won't die.

Watch the video of Dr. John Gilderbloom's two-way streets presentation last night.

Now, over to the neighbor.

Signage needed to help drivers in New Albany

As a resident of downtown New Albany and a Spring Street dweller, I am thrilled that the implementation of two-way streets has begun at long last. However, I do want to make a serious safety request. The traffic cones marking various work areas are causing serious and potentially dangerous traffic confusion, as there is no accompanying signage denoting what the cones mean. Meaning, the cones sort of look like lanes and cars appear to be making their own decisions as to what the cones mean ...

ASK THE BORED: A progress report on paving, two-way streets and the crosswalk on Main at W. 1st.

From the BOW meeting of May 16, in their own words, an update on downtown grid paving and the crosswalk project at Main and W. 1st.

---

A MEETING OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS & SAFETY OF THE CIVIL CITY OF NEW ALBANY, INDIANA, WAS HELD IN THE THIRD FLOOR ASSEMBLY ROOM AT THE CITY/COUNTY BUILDING ON TUESDAY, MAY 16, 2017 AT 10:00 A.M.

PRESENT: Mickey Thompson, member, Cheryl Cotner-Bailey, member, and Warren V. Nash, president. 

OTHERS PRESENT: Fire Chief Juliot, Fire Marshal Koehler, Mike Hall, Sandy Boofter, Chris Gardner, Bryan Slade, Sidney Main, Larry Summers, David Hall, Jessica Campbell, Police Chief Bailey, Alicia Meredith, Courtney Lewis and Mindy Milburn

(excerpt follows)

Sunny Dickerson, HWC Engineering, reported on the progress of the two-way conversion. He explained that the underground conduit is in on Spring Street as well as the pit bores for the detector houses. He stated that they are starting on Elm Street today and they should be done with that by the end of the week. He added that the work will be contingent upon MAC completing their paving work but as of right now everything looks to be on schedule.

Wes Christmas explained that the south side of the milling is completed and they are already working on the north side, so it should be completed today. He stated that there may be a few side streets that need to be finished but they plan to start paving tomorrow. He explained that the plan is to have all the paving work completed by Thursday and Friday if the weather cooperates. He stated next week is an off week for paving activities while they wrap up the underground work, and the week of May 30th they will begin the same process on Elm Street.

Mr. Nash asked about the temporary markings that will be put out.

Mr. Christmas explained that it will be the same configuration as it is now and will not change until all the new signage and signals are complete.

Mr. Nash asked if Market would be done after Elm

Mr. Christmas replied yes and explained that all paving is anticipated to be complete before the end of June. He added that Police Chief Bailey suggested installing additional signage to let the residents and businesses know what is going on so they have small signs every 30 feet down the corridor as well as an additional message board.    

Mrs. Cotner-Bailey asked if they could have door hangers.

Mr. Christmas explained that they haven’t done it in the past but they could check on that if they need to.

Mr. Nash asked if the signs have been working.

Police Chief Bailey stated that there hasn’t been a tremendous problem and they have the few incidents under control. 

Mr. Summers asked Mr. Christmas to touch on the West 1^st and Main Street project.

Mr. Christmas explained that this is for the bump-outs and pedestrian crossings and the work is under way. He stated that the majority of the concrete is poured on the southeast corner and they started demo on the southwest corner. He explained that once the south side is done they will jump over the north side and do the other two corners. He added that beyond the intersection the only work that is being done is the addition of a few trees.

Mr. Nash commented that some of the trees on State Street look too big for the bump-outs.

Mr. Christmas stated that the trees were suggested by Greg Mills and are supposed to be of a smaller variety. 

Finally, at long last, at least two decades too late: " Two Way Streets - Major Construction to Begin Next Week."

City Hall's release follows verbatim. For the first time in recorded history, the words "two way" appear within eyesight. Click through to see the photos and charts. Someone contact the police to take away CeeSaw's Bic lighter, before he does something we all applaud.

Remember how NA Confidential phrased it last night?

ASK THE BORED: All for paving and paving for all -- and information about the elusive two-way street project's inception.

As the above explanation attests, the grid modernization project (have you noticed how reluctant they are to use the words "two-way" if they can be avoided?) is a paving project all its own.

Nah, they're not reading, are they?

---

Two Way Streets - Major Construction to Begin Next Week

May 10, 2017

What is the Downtown Grid Modernization Project?

The Downtown Grid Modernization Project is an all-encompassing project that contains the engineering, traffic, and road design studies and plans for the 1-way traffic to 2-way traffic conversation.

Why is the City looking at switching some downtown streets to 2-way traffic? What's wrong with the 1-way traffic that we have now?

1-way streets are designed to quickly move drivers from place to place at fast speeds - incompatible for a modern downtown.

With everyone traveling in one direction (with multiple lanes) while eliminating opposing traffic, 1-way streets promote a higher rate of speed than 2-way streets. By switching some key downtown streets to 2-way, we can help slow the rate of speed.

2-way streets help promote a safe, walkable downtown.

2-way streets, coupled with smaller lane widths, are proven to help reduce speeding. This makes traveling safer for not only drivers on the road, but for pedestrians and bicyclists too.

More people than ever are interested in living, working in, and visiting downtown New Albany.

New Albany's downtown, not unlike many downtowns across the nation, has seen a resurgence of late. We have seen an influx of people who are interested in living, opening a business, and visiting our downtown. The City wants to do everything it can to support that progress. We believe that converting some key downtown streets from 1-way to 2-way can help support that goal and further solidify New Albany's downtown as a destination.

Studies and experts say its better for retail

An uninterrupted mass of vehicles traveling in one direction can harm retail environments by obscuring visibility of shops from view and distributing vitality unevenly throughout the urban landscape.

What steps has the City taken to study this issue?

In 2007, the first study was completed that looked at the possibility of converting some 1-way streets in downtown New Albany to 2-way streets. In 2014, the City of New Albany hired nationally recognized city planner and urban designer Jeff Speck to analyze the downtown grid and provide recommendations on how to make New Albany's grid more modern, including recommendations on pedestrian safety, walkability, alternative modes of transportation, street design that benefits retail and businesses, and more. Click HERE to view Mr. Speck's report.

The city also hosted numerous public listening sessions to gather feedback from the community, and the Mayor and other city officials have met with various community and business leaders to hear their thoughts on the project. In 2016, engineering and design work was completed by HWC Engineering in preparation for the project.

Schedule of Improvements - When will all of this begin?

Preliminary work has already begun to prepare for major construction. All non-ADA compliant ramps in the downtown grid system are currently being updated, bumpouts along Market Street have been reconfigured in preparation of the switch to 2-way traffic, and underground utility work in the area is nearing completion.

The city is anticipating that milling and paving operations will begin the week of May 15th along Spring Street. Plans include milling and paving half of Spring Street, while keeping the other half open, with crews then switching sides once the first half is completed. Upon completion of milling work, Spring Street will be paved in a similar fashion. Milling and paving is expected to take 4-5 days, with pavement marking to follow. During construction, traffic lights will switch to a timed system instead of utilizing sensors. Pavement marking is expected to take 2-3 weeks to be fully completed, but will be completed nearer to the conversion.

ASK THE BORED: All for paving and paving for all -- and information about the elusive two-way street project's inception.

At last week's Board of Public Works and Safety meeting (May 2), there was an update on the critically important annual paving extravaganza, without which those delicate rivulets of campaign slush 'n' finance would be in danger of drying up -- and the usual suspects can't wet their beaks in sand.

As the above explanation attests, the grid modernization project (have you noticed how reluctant they are to use the words "two-way" if they can be avoided?) is a paving project all its own.

And: Once paved, the streets still will be running in one-direction with temporary markings. This should add at least 10 m.p.h. to current motorcycle speeds on Spring.

Then again, this Market Street canyon needs work. There's enough room inside this cut for a street car rail.

I'm consoling myself with the prospect of seeing these miscreants in single file, stuck behind me as I observe the speed limit on two-way streets. They might try passing me on the right, though they'll be in danger of striking the landscaping trailer that usually occupies the bike lane in front of my house.

Then, when the motorists are calmed, we can begin thinking about the much needed ban on semi rigs using 13th Street.

ASK THE BORED: A few well-placed chicanes on 13th Street should send Tiger Trucking to a more appropriate location for doing its value-extractive business.

Gahan clears space in already bulging campaign finance coffers as his half-ass-two-way-street reform project limps toward the runway.

We will surmise from the evidence that John Boyle is Jerod Clapp's de facto replacement at the News and Tribune, although the reporter might be only a temporary pinch-hitter.

Boyle's page at Facebook shows a hiring date of August 2016 (he's a 2016 IU Southeast graduate), and until mid-January, all his bylines were in sports.

Where Boyle fits in the newspaper's "beat by topic, not geography" scheme is yet to be seen; he's done a fire, a Hobkbob Coffee profile, a school board meeting, and now the rumored Downtown Grid Modernization Project (Mayor Gahan's shameless bastardization of Jeff Speck's Downtown Street Network Proposal.

As such, he extracts an interesting nugget from city engineer Larry Summers, who'll probably face disciplinary action for speaking openly to the media.

Work underway on two-way: Initial phases of Grid Modernization Project begin in New Albany, by John Boyle

... Summers said the city's next step will be repaving Spring, Market, Elm, Pearl, Bank and Vincennes streets. An official date for this portion, however, has yet to be set.

"The paving itself is going to be independent of the federal aid, but we are looking to coordinate the two projects," Summers said. "It's kind of nuanced right now. [The start date] depends on who wins the bid for the federal aid portion of construction."

Summers said that if two separate contractors are selected, the repaved streets will have temporary dividers until the federal aid portion of the grid realignment begins. Bids for the projects will be selected in early March. The entire project is expected to be completed by Sept. 30.

Well, well.

Turns out the paving component wasn't part of the federal 80-20 largess after all -- and remember, annual paving contracts are an easily tapped source of campaign finance kickbacks. For those readers eternally curious as to why MAC seemingly captures every contract ... just follow the envelopes.

Boyle did good. "Nuanced" is the sort of code language John Rosenbarger usually deploys to evade scrutiny, and now we know about a potential timeline crack in the otherwise seamless propaganda narrative.

Meanwhile, Boyle also extracts two quotes from business owners, each bearing an important point. First, hitting the nail on the head with regard to traffic speed:

Gary Humphrey, owner of River City Winery, said he has long been in favor of two-way streets in downtown New Albany.

"I've been in support from day one," Humphrey said. "I prefer anything that slows down traffic. Two-way streets will do that."

Then, the enduring transparency bugaboo.

Leo Lopez, who owns Habana Blues, said that though he is not necessarily against the two-way streets, he has not been pleased with the communication between city officials and businesses in New Albany.

"Every time something is done around here, they don't tell anybody," Lopez said. "We don't know until it's about to happen. A lot of business owners will tell you the same thing."

Team Gahan already has botched what might have been, at least in terms of the Speck plan's magnitude. Mark my words, folks, because they're going to botch significant portions of their own diluted HWC street grid rewrite. This will not owe to engineering incompetence, but rather to political cowardice.

It's who they are ... and what they do -- and don't do.

ASK THE BORED: Restripe Upper Spring Street for traffic calming BEFORE the election? And risk an even higher Luddite turnout? Adam has priorities, you know.

Hmm.

In terms of weather, Thursday of last week (October 13) was acceptable, wasn't it?

But it came, and it went ...







... and Upper Spring Street -- our first and only line of defense against pass through toll dodging -- still looked like this (photos taken yesterday).

However, the Green Mouse spotted two Yellow Jackets making hash marks ...

 ... but considering the roadway was only recently repaved, these must be utility company vandals, right?

I mean, isn't that the way it always works? We pave the street, and as soon as the asphalt sets, the water company tears it up again?

In fact, the restriping sloth probably is intentional.

The Green Mouse Says, "If and when the city finishes the job and restripes the street, the mouth breathers will go berserk."

Meanwhile, the new and improved New Albany City Hall agitprop site now includes information on ongoing projects and current street closures -- assuming, of course, that they bother listing a specific project or street closure.

You'll see nothing there about Upper Spring's missing stripes-for-calming, or prospects for a BOW vote on the Downtown Grid Modernization Project (local Orwell-speak for two-way streets), which the mayor continues whispering about even as the bored insists the fix isn't in.

And, still nothing from Keep New Albany Clean and Green about the clear-cutting at Judge Cody's.

All that steeple work -- and now this. You'd think Irv would be entirely apoplectic.

Look it up, Shane.

The Green Mouse Says, "If and when the city finishes the job and restripes the street, the mouth breathers will go berserk."

Another week passes without stripes on Upper Spring -- no narrowing, no calming, but plenty of Irv's speedway tumescence.

The Green Mouse has received a strange e-note, even by the standards of his periodically radioactive clientele.

It sounds at first like another crazy conspiracy theory, but here's rub: Given the way things work hereabouts, it's entirely plausible. You can hear local Democrats talking this way over Bud Light Limes over at the Roadhouse.

Can anyone confirm or deny?

So, you're wondering why the city won't finish the striping and new traffic pattern on Spring Street on both sides of Silver Street -- you remember, our sole line of defense against toll "dodging", as the moron second-tier city planners like to call it.

Let me remind you about the election coming up on November 8.

Seabrook, Stumler and their legion of good old boy fat cats have raised the roof bitching about the two-way street plan, and you may have noticed most of them are Republicans (I know, but Irv's stopped pretending now that Doug's in Florida). Trump's a piece of excrement, but we all know he'll carry Floyd County in a yuuuuge way. In this hellhole, Trump actually helps the local Republicans.

Right now, thanks to Irv's magical mystery tour, the only comments being made aloud about two-way streets are negative. Some of us have caught on, when you said you'd stop talking about streets and said it was someone else's turn, things got quiet fast.

You'd think these other two-way advocates could write letters and raise hell, too, but they don't, do they? Do they exist? You can bet your last TIFF that Dickey's noticed that, and he's running scared. It's the only way he knows how, after all. 

So the city paved Spring Street, and all the redneck speed racers are delighted. If and when the city finishes the job and restripes the street, the mouth breathers will go berserk, and the Democrats are absolutely terrified of this before the election because they know Irv's right -- changing the streets has little popular support, and the mayor doesn't have a backbone, as we all know. All it can do right now is make the Republican beatdown even worse.

It's a comedy, and I figured you'd like to know why. No charge, but you can buy me a beer sometime.

Another week passes without stripes on Upper Spring -- no narrowing, no calming, but plenty of Irv's speedway tumescence.

If this isn't finished soon, John Rosenbarger's nose will reach all the way to Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.

5th and Elm speed crater: Have we reached China yet?

If my math is correct, on Monday (July 11) it will have been 22 days since this stated 3 - 4 day project began. It probably took a week just to cut through decades of asphalt Band-Aids.

Whether or not this massive reconstruction project finally resolves a problem that's been around for decades, it must be said that we've gotten plenty of comedic mileage out of it. Clink glasses; rinse, repeat.

5th Street's 2015 paving, 2016 unpaving, and future repaving.

The best way to slow traffic on Elm at 5th would be to leave the crater alone.

It's a good thing we paved 5th Street eight months ago. It should last until 2023.

SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Glower (or, the 5th Street Paving Rumba).

Rosenbarger retains job by hailing city's invention of revolutionary Speed Dip at Elm and Fifth.

5th & Elm paving: Who knew the ADA mandates warning ramps for bocce ball crossings?

5th Street's 2015 paving, 2016 unpaving, and future repaving.

It's holding up fairly well south of I-Spring Street. Northbound is a different matter entirely.

That's right. We paved this stretch in August, 2015.

5th & Elm paving: Who knew the ADA mandates warning ramps for bocce ball crossings?

The same 5th and Elm intersection in June, 2016:

The question remains: Why pave 5th Street in 2015, only to unpave 5th Street less than a year later owing to a known construction project?

The only conceivable answer is that especially in an election year, only Potemkin facades really matter.

ENCORE ... "Bob Caesar Sez: Listen to me because I never dropped acid during the Age of Aquarius."

Earlier today, Bluegill shared the morning's post and provided an appropriate preamble.

Let's ask the old white guys: Revisiting last Saturday's dismal "spotlight" on street reconversion.

It's true: Neither Caesar nor Stumler have business or residential interests downtown. Neither has any particular expertise concerning community or economic development, urban planning, or complete streets. Both have spent years making haphazard pronouncements unrelated to any body of actual evidence to the point of embarrassment. Why then, beyond his own obvious bias, does editor Chris Morris keep trotting them out as de facto spokespeople for (or, in this case, against) New Albany's urban grid?

I was reminded of the following, originally published on January 10, 2015 (the link to Speck's subsequently released streets proposal has been inserted for clarity).

Funny, isn't it.

To the likes of Caesar, Stumler, probably Gahan -- surely Morris -- the most damning thing about me is that I'm anti-establishment, and just as naturally, being anti-establishment is what I'm proudest of being. Opposing the establishment in a burg as dysfunctional as this?

That's badge of honor time, and posterity's going to be kind.

Now learn why we'll be compelled to repave two-way streets.

---

Naturally, Bob "My Way IS the Highway" Caesar detects commies and anarchists behind Jeff Speck's Downtown Street Network Proposal. All these years, and he still can't grasp that the number of parking spaces on Pearl Street stays the same, whether traffic runs one way or two.

New study opens possibilities for two-lane traffic in downtown New Albany, by Gil Corsey (WDRB)

NEW ALBANY, Ind. (WDRB) -- Traffic is changing in downtown New Albany, and a new study claims to show that two ways are better than one.

Roger Baylor lives in a two-story home not far from the heart of downtown New Albany. For 10 years, he says he's begged the city to switch traffic on Spring Street to two ways to slow cars down.

The best compliment Caesar ever paid me was when he accused me of being anti-establishment. When the issue of reconversion cost arises, I fully expect the emperor of downtown to question the cost of repaving every prospective two-way street.

Huh?

Repaving?

It's because the pavement we have now is ONE-WAY pavement, not two-way.

It's a good thing we paved 5th Street eight months ago. It should last until 2023.

Shhh ... don't mention the war, and don't EVER mention 5th Street when the corporate attorney's in earshot.