Beleaguered merchants at Underground Station await the Board of Works' next crushing street closure bombardment.

How much more construction closures and special events disruptions can these merchants take and still survive?

Added together, the last-minute Bank and Main signal project (wouldn't a 4-way stop have sufficed as opposed to yet another signature half-million-dollar Gahan campaign finance monetization boondoggle?) and the rear parking lot closure for Harvest Homecoming will total a full month of business pattern interruption, with precious little advance information provided to people who've invested in bricks and mortar and learned the hard way that the utterly non-transparent Team Gahan doesn't understand anything about what it means to be in business, unless "being in business" means grandstanding at ribbon-cuttings.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Main and Bank work to begin on Monday the 13th -- or was that Friday the 16th?

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: The shenanigans and ass-hattery of Deaf Gahan's last-minute Main and Bank stop light project have commenced.

"Aladdin's and all the merchants at the Underground Station will be open regular business hours during the complete reconstruction of Bank St. in front of the Underground Station."

Slick Jeffie's $500,000 stop light project at the intersection of Main and Bank, the urgent need for which has been apparent for at least six years, was stupidly delayed until the middle of September because of the mayor's self-glorification imperatives elsewhere. It then was decreed that a two- to three-month project would be completed in 27 days -- because of election year politics.

But everyone forgot about the OTHER 800-lb gorilla: Harvest Homecoming's carnival rides, hence this morning's abrupt notification that much of the parking on the south side of the Underground Station block will be closed until October 17.

Open, but ...

The Reisz Mahal is the only thing moving here.

A business owner sent this update:

"Thank you. A number of businesses here have clients and patients with mobility issues who require ADA compliant accessibility, which was torn up and made completely unusable with no notice to us or our clients."

I can hear the whining of Gahan's minions: Can't people just walk? As if a single one of the privileged time-servers grasped what walkability really means amidst their incessant car-centric "improvements."

Or, walk -- like all those people did, past an entire blocked block of Market last weekend, to behold barbecue they couldn't purchase, from a landscape that resembled a KOA campground.

Shouldn't the Board of Works be helping small businesses to remain in business?

Or do we take Gahanism to its logical conclusion and begin tithing donations to Gahan to protect us from Gahan?

I'll be updating this story as merited.

Here in "walkable" Nawbany, our grandiose Reisz Mahal won't even have a Main Street entry portal, so make sure and bring your car.

That's right, we're spending millions to remodel a building that won't have a Main Street entrance. Be sure and enter with your car, to the rear.

But please don't mention "public art," because it could get far worse.

ON THE AVENUES: Socialists for Seabrook, because we desperately need a new beginning in New Albany.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Main and Bank work to begin on Monday the 13th -- or was that Friday the 16th?

On Thursday, it became apparent that Slick Jeffie's $500,000 stop light project at the intersection of Main and Bank, the urgent need for which has been apparent for at least six years, but which has been delayed until right NOW because of the mayor's self-glorification imperatives elsewhere, is coming to fruition only because of election year politics.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: The shenanigans and ass-hattery of Deaf Gahan's last-minute Main and Bank stop light project have commenced.

 ... The foreman seemed to be in a blind panic. He said the Bank/Main project had been labeled "emergency" election year status and therefore would be fast tracked, adding that the amount of work they have to get done would typically require three months -- ah, but Deaf Gahan has demanded that work be completed in 27 days.

Gahan's insistent it be finished before Harvest Homecoming even though this foreman admitted he had never had a project this size proceed that quickly and didn't know how they were going to get it done.

One might say okay, but at least it's finally being done -- except it should be a four-way stop project from the get-go, albeit inflated to fiscal grandiosity in a vacuum owing to the usual dictates of fluffery, and as oft times before, the independent businesspersons nearest the project, whose routines are to be interrupted most profoundly BEFORE Harvest Homecoming renders them inaccessible for a whole week, HADN'T BEEN TOLD ANYTHING AT ALL BY THE CITY ABOUT THE PROJECT.

Of course, this is standard dysfunctional procedure, and the way it works almost every time. If a mayoral flunky or visiting engineer tells the Bored of Works that stakeholders have been notified, it means none have been notified. Team Gahan's obligations tend to be toward self-perpetuation, not timely notification.

But on Thursday afternoon, September 12 ... with 27 days of compressed destruction about to commence on Monday, September 16, at long last Gahan got around to letting shopkeepers in on the program.

By proxy, of course.

Look what showed up at the end if the day yesterday. Delivered by the construction foreman, not a member of the administration. Charmingly vague, eh?

This is what "work starting Monday" looks like.

I don't blame the construction company for getting started right away, but Gahan's office needs to get it's head out of its ass and be up front about the impact this is going to have on businesses. Work starting today is fine, just SAY that work is starting today.

Like, that's not even a lie worth telling.

Construction slated to begin on the 16th actually began on Friday the 13th, so apparently it must be a lie worth telling because Gahan tells it every single time -- and still the sycophants sing the praises of a mayor whose only noteworthy skill is using an abacus to count the money given to him by no-bid contract seekers.

We can do something about this, you know.

#FireGahan2019
#DrainTheGahanSwamp

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: The shenanigans and ass-hattery of Deaf Gahan's last-minute Main and Bank stop light project have commenced.

The shenanigans and ass-hattery of Deaf Gahan's last-minute Main and Bank stop light project have commenced, and once again merchants at and near Underground Station are in for a hell of a ride.

But first, let's have a look at the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of Gahan's political patronage, as performed by our Bored of Works on September 3. Note again that "over time" as cited here by city engineer Larry Summers must be translated for ordinary citizens to understand:

"We didn't bother with this intersection for years on end until just recently, when instead of posting a pre-schooler to stand there, watch, and view the idiocy, we awarded an $80,000 contract for research to one of the mayor's donors."

Now, having waited years on end to do what was obvious all along, Gahan is showing his horses the whip.

The Green Mouse reports ...

---

I was walking down Main Street yesterday between 5th Street and Bank, when a semi-trailer as big as Gahan's ego flew past me on Main doing about 45 mph, reminding us that when the mayor threw all that money at the tall native weed medians where the rich folks live, there wasn't any money left to actually take a stab at slowing traffic elsewhere.

There was a commotion. Cones started going down on Bank Street, and then surveyors, Duke Energy people, Larry Summers and Mickey Thompson from the Street Department gathered.

A very harried looking man arrived and introduced himself as the foreman on the project and proceeded to outline what was about to happen to merchants in Underground Station and facing Main. 

Starting Monday the 16th, Bank Street on the south side of Main will be shut down and dug down to the depth of two feet. The entire intersection of Main and Bank will be milled as all the new light and anchor-festooned crosswalk infrastructure goes in. 

The foreman seemed to be in a blind panic. He said the Bank/Main project had been labeled "emergency" election year status and therefore would be fast tracked, adding that the amount of work they have to get done would typically require three months -- ah, but Deaf Gahan has demanded that work be completed in 27 days. 

Gahan's insistent it be finished before Harvest Homecoming even though this foreman admitted he had never had a project this size proceed that quickly and didn't know how they were going to get it done

I offered him a loaded Rice Krispies Treat and some Kool-Aid, and this seemed to calm him. Subsequently it transpired that yet again, the city hadn't bothered dispensing information to stakeholders, perhaps because of the election-year emergency. 

For instance Dr. Gradel at StoneWater Acupuncture & Chiropractic, whose office already is barely accessible due to the Reisz Mahal nonsense, had not been informed of what was going to happen. I watched as she chased down Thompson to ask for temporary loading zone signage in the hopes that her clients, who are coming to her for medical care, MIGHT be able to actually get to her office.

One of the merchants texted their landlord to ask if anyone from the city had contacted him, but he hadn't heard anything from them and only just saw the newspaper article.

The Underground Station courtyard will be restricted in terms of accessibility, and customers will have to park in the back and then hoof it around to Pearl Street and up to get to any of the Main Street businesses.

Is Gahan ever going to allow New Albany merchants to transact business in peace? It just goes to show that people who've never run a business themselves have no idea what it's really like.

Right, Adam?

---

Slick Jeffie's wasteful masterpiece: $85,000 + $406,522 = the price for traffic lights at a downtown intersection where a four-way stop would work just fine.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Did Team Gahan really eject former mayor James Garner from its campaign kickoff love-in last Saturday?

Slick Jeffie's wasteful masterpiece: $85,000 + $406,522 = the price for traffic lights at a downtown intersection where a four-way stop would work just fine.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the unquestioning, cursory coverage of the Tom May Gazette's Chris "Am I retired yet?" Morris.

Stop light coming to busy New Albany intersection

The New Albany Board of Public Works & Safety approved a bid from Ragle, Inc. Tuesday to install a light at the intersection of Bank and Main streets. Merchants in the area have been critical of the intersection for being too dangerous for both pedestrians and drivers. And with the new city hall expected to open in the next six months near the intersection will just add to the problem.

Ragle, Inc. was the only company to submit a bid for $406,522. The city's legal department will review the bid and give final approval and work will begin soon after. The bid also includes repaving the portion of Bank near the floodwall.

"We have looked at this extensively," city engineer Larry Summers said. "We feel like there is an immediate need."

One of the reasons why the intersection of Bank and Main has been so dangerous for so long is the city's refusal to address driver behavior on Main between State and 5th. Of course, having wasted every last penny of the state's perpetual maintenance endowment on the Main Street Beautification and High Weeds project, there's been no pile of cash for Team Gahan to pillage for piddling factors like safety.

This said, the intersection of Bank and Main could be easily calmed and regulated by the installation of a four-way stop, with a few stop signs and red flashers like the ones recently installed at the intersection of 13th and Elm -- itself a stupidly hazardous place that the city's "brain trust" insisted for years wasn't an issue, but finally became necessary to "fix" so that Greg Phipps could have something to campaign on.

Stop signs at the intersection of Bank and Main might cost a couple thousand dollars. So, how do we do it in Jeff Pay-to-PlayHan's Anchor City?

1. Ignore the problem for at least five years (see links below), and whenever  asked, about it, just push "play" as the city engineer makes another rote explanation of how it's utterly impossible to rectify -- right up until the moment when political expediency makes it absolutely critical to do RIGHT now, at whatever the cost.

2. Thus, with an election about to occur and a crescendo of dissatisfaction with five or more years of cowardly denial, it's time to select a frequent Gahan4Life campaign finance donor for yet another hocus-pocus $85k study -- in other words, post a minimum wage employee to stand there for a few hours and observe what any pre-schooler could plainly see with his or her own two eyes.

3. Award a $406,522 contract to install lights, anchor-seal-gizmo crosswalks and ubiquitous "Have a Good Gahan" yellow smiley faces, all the while doing absolutely nothing to calm traffic on any side of the intersection.

4. Have the same engineer who kept saying it was impossible to make fresh new gurgling sounds about the desperate need to rectify something he'd been commanded to ignore for five or more years, because after all, in New Gahania, Job One = Job Retention. Naturally we can't entirely blame the minions, who must bear the brunt of Gahan's incessant hypocrisy so that Dear Leader can reign forever.

5. At long last ProMedia assembles the area's pliant newspapers and television stations for the ceremonial motorized convoy, traveling a whole 30 yards between the shambolic delayed edifice of the $12 million Reisz Mahal and the brand new bells-and-whistles intersection, at a cost of only $491,522 instead of a few stop signs and flashing red lights.

As the ribbon is cut and contractors dump boots filled with cash into fish tanks, Adam Dickey is seen slouching in a doorway, tears gushing from his eyes, his poor hankie dripping with snot, owing to his good fortune in being alive to serve Deaf Gahan's every need.

A poem about love comes to Dickey's mind.

Two men are joined as one in you:
One seems cold and hard,
One who achieves his goals.
Another is tender and kind,
He forgets not even the poorest.
He feels for the least of us.

Two streams owe their strength to you.
You are the sap rising from each root,
The seed that gives them birth —
A new spirit rose from you,
That forged us together as a city-state
And dwells in us forever!

Hmm. Dude's no better of a poet than a party chairman, is he?

---

Previously at the only New Albany blog that really matters:

October 22, 2014
Which downtown New Albany intersections are the very worst for walkers?

October 29, 2017
Main Street intersections at Bank and 4th are hazardous for pedestrians. Where's City Hall, apart from a state of denial?

April 2, 2019
Institutional cowardice might explain why the Board of Works has routinely ignored complaints about the dangerous intersection of Main and Bank Streets ... since at least 2015.

June 27, 2019
ASK THE BORED: BOW says it might do what it said it couldn't, but only after a Gahan campaign donor gets a fat no-bid contract for another $85k "study."

ASK THE BORED: BOW says it might do what it said it couldn't, but only after a Gahan campaign donor gets a fat no-bid contract for another $85k "study."

They've dragged their feet for YEARS on the request of businesses and residents to just INSTALL A 4-WAY STOP at the intersection of Main and Pearl.

But no. Nothing simple can occur without ANOTHER $85,000 "study" conducted by ANOTHER of Jeff Gahan's campaign contributors -- and if the pre-determined outcome is delivered, there'll be ANOTHER fat contract for the same amount or more to ANOTHER donor, when all we really need to do is plant stop signs, slow drivers and help them negotiate passage safely.

Susan Duncan doesn't agree with the verdict of our own two eyes, but corrupt is corrupt.

#FireGahan2019

The city should know later this year whether a stop light is warranted at the intersection of Bank and Main streets.

Many business owners in the area have asked the city about placing a light at the intersection saying it poses a danger to both drivers and pedestrians. The city has hired Lochmueller Group to determine if a light is needed.

City engineer Larry Summers said with the new city hall and other proposed development coming to the area, he thinks a light will be warranted. The contract for the study is not to exceed $85,000.

However, the headline writer at NooBune gets it right, capturing the abject futility of a city unwilling, unable (actually both) to reign in fireworks, short of begging the citizenry not to set shit on fire.

Residents asked to use 'common sense' with fireworks, by CM

New Albany follows state law

NEW ALBANY — It's almost July 4 which means it's time for fireworks. And whether you love them or wish they were banned, they do generate plenty of discussion.

New Albany follows state law which means fireworks can be shot off starting now. People are supposed to shoot them off on private property and have safety measures in place in case something happens.

New Albany Police Chief Todd Bailey told the Board of Public Works & Safety on Tuesday that people need to use "common sense" if they plan to use fireworks.

"People need to slow down and take a step back if they plan on using fireworks," he said.

Local fireworks vendors are open now through July 6 when their permits run out.

"I am already getting calls," Board of Works President Warren Nash said. "Everyone needs to be mindful of the dangers."

David Hall, director of the New Albany-Floyd County Animal Shelter, said July 5 is the busiest day for shelters across the United States for people looking for lost pets who run off after being spooked by fireworks.

"It's very stressful [for the pets]," he said.

He said some shelters across the country have people on staff who stay late into the night on July 4 to calm the animals due to all the noises.

Gahan convenes counter-revolutionary anti-terrorism squads because "business owners want to see changes made to busy New Albany intersection."

As noted in this space on Tuesday, institutional cowardice helps to explain why the Board of Works has routinely ignored complaints about the dangerous intersection of Main and Bank Streets since at least 2015.

To understand this situation, one must don a Hazmat suit, shrink to corpuscle dimensions and climb inside the mind of our terminally bunker-bound mayor, who views the hostile world outside in simple shades of black and white.

Jeff Gahan regards himself as perfect; as such, all his top-down directives must also be perfect, because as Aquinas probably wrote, imperfection cannot ever be the product of perfection.

Therefore, a point of view differing from Gahan's is by definition imperfect, and by extension, those expressing a differing point of view can be doing so for political reasons alone. To Gahan, why else would imperfection exist if not to disrupt his own carefully laid plans? Therefore, opposition always is political,not related to ideas and content.

If you're a Mt. Tabor Road resident, a downtown business owner, a public housing dweller, a bicyclist, a homeowner in an area intended for annexation, owner of a motor vehicle targeted with selective enforcement or supporter of David White, Mark Seabrook or Dan Coffey, you're an enemy.

Your reasons for asking questions are not important, because who questions perfection?

Only a malcontent.

It's Gahan (and to a vastly lesser extent the DemoDisneyDixiecrats) against the world, and if your captive city engineer has been using the same excuse for four long years -- (simper, whimper) we can't do anything to make a street safe for all users unless we conduct a study, which we may or may not consider at some point in the future -- then it's Gahan doing the talking, and what Gahan is saying is this:

Be good little boys and girls, take this medicine I'm giving you, and never forget to be seen glorifying New Gahania, not asking stupid questions of perfection incarnate.

Business owners want to see changes made to busy New Albany intersection, by Hayden Ristevski (WDRB)

Some New Albany business owners have major concerns about a busy intersection.

Cisa Kubley, owner of Sew Fitting, and Stacie Bale, co-owner of Road Runner Kitchen, both said the intersection of Bank and Main Streets is too dangerous.

"We spend all day listening to car tires screeching and horns being blown, because people are in a hurry to get through here,” Kubley said.

It’s hard for drivers to see oncoming traffic on Main Street if they’re attempting to turn off of Bank Street. There also is not an outlined cross walk for people trying to cross Main Street.

"It's scary as a pedestrian to try to cross this street at the width, because you always feel like you have to run,” Kubley said.

There is a crosswalk on Bank Street, but cars turning off of Main Street may have a hard time seeing pedestrians.

"You can't cross it safely,” Bale said ...

Institutional cowardice might explain why the Board of Works has routinely ignored complaints about the dangerous intersection of Main and Bank Streets ... since at least 2015.

In 2017, in 2019. Forever; no change.

Props to Stacie Bale for informing Warren Naps and the Bored of Works that the intersection of Main and Bank is hazardous for pretty much everyone who uses it, drivers included, but especially walkers.

Roadrunner Kitchen owner says dangerous intersection hurting business, by Chris Morris (Hanson's Folly)

NEW ALBANY — Stacie Bale, owner of Roadrunner Kitchen in New Albany, loves her new location at the Underground Station, at the corner of Main and Bank streets. She moved there from her old Main Street location in January.

While the new home is perfect for her restaurant, getting there is a problem — for both pedestrians and vehicles. Trying to cross Main Street from Bank Street is dangerous, Bale told the New Albany Board of Public Works & Safety on Tuesday, and she is looking for the city to add some safety measures.

"We have maintained a lot of our regulars, but tons of pedestrians won't cross the road," she said. "We have 11 businesses there [Underground Station] but due to safety you can't get there. I don't even leave work that way in my car."

Bale is hoping the city can add a traffic light at the intersection. City engineer Larry Summers said there are plans in the works to redo Main Street, from East Fifth Street to State Street "a couple years down the road."

"Part of that is to look at a signal at that location. But before we do that we have to do an analysis to see if a signal is warranted," he said. "We are looking at several different options for that intersection."

Bale is hoping something can be done there sooner rather than later.

"I love it there, and our new landlord is super," she said. "But something needs to be done there to make it safer."

Sew Fitting owner Cisa Kubley, whose shop sits in front of the Underground Station at Bank and Main streets, said the intersection is one of the most dangerous in the city.

"We hear honking and screeching tires every day. Even when there aren't cars parked on Main Street it's still very limited visibility," she said. "People drive far too fast and pay no attention to cars slowing to turn or pedestrians trying to cross."

Let's see.

It was October 29, 2017 (below) -- and Larry Summers probably gave precisely the same robotic answer, because then as now, the people charged with determining safe walking conditions do so from the DRIVER'S SEAT OF THEIR CARS, not with two feet on the ground.

---

Main Street intersections at Bank and 4th are hazardous for pedestrians. Where's City Hall, apart from a state of denial?

An increased number of businesses are on the north side of Main Street. More are on the south side (Underground Station) as well as one of the larger expanses of surface parking (by the levee).

Notice the crosswalks and other means of making pedestrian passage across this wide street easier.

That's right. There are none.

The intersection of Bank and Main also is bad for drivers, especially those northbound from the surface lot. It's been two and a half years since this was first pointed out to BOW (reprint below).

Now the situation is worsening at 4th and Main, where Hull & High Water is generating a great deal of foot traffic, both from area parking and the beautified corridor.

Jeff Speck had thoughts about this. These are 17-foot traffic lanes and 8-foot parking depths. That's a whole 50 feet from one side to another, without any effort to slow traffic or assist pedestrians.

Until city officials do something about this, anything they say about "walkability" is to be taken as an insult. After all, it's "not an option," is it?

---

May 13, 2015

Board of Works approves new city slogan for new city seal: "It's not an option."

There were many curiosities at yesterday's Board of Public Works and Safety meeting, held at the usual 10:00 a.m. slot which precludes so very much in the way of attendance and public input.

We learned that some folks can temporarily close streets with little effort, while others must assemble a petition. We noticed that when it comes to communications, it doesn't. It was reported that John "Human Chainsaw" Rosenbarger will be felling 30+ trees on Thomas Street, and planting 50 more ... and so on.

However, let's focus on just one of the items.

At a previous meeting, local businesses occupying the evolving Underground Station property on the corner of Main and Bank had asked the Board of Works to refit the intersection in front of their building (Main and Bank) into a 4-way stop, and to add a handicapped parking space on Main.

It wasn't surprising to hear street department commissioner Mickey Thompson speak for the board in waving away these requests, but his justifications (and his tone) were puzzling.

As for the handicapped space, Thompson feared establishing a harmful precedent, as though to say that if one business seeks a handicapped space, all of them would. Left unsaid was whether people with handicaps would find this useful.

But isn't the real question this: Why doesn't the city, through its Board of Works, proactively address parking issues and enforce parking ordinances? Why be troubled by a solitary handicapped space when no laws presently are enforced? After all, don't just do something -- stand there.

As for the 4-way stop request, which was made owing to steadily increasing traffic probably resulting from the simple fact that finally there is commercial traffic where before there was none, Thompson could do no better than grunt: "It's not an option." 

The obvious question that should have been asked and answered: "Why Not? Why isn't it an option?" 

We already know that through the top-down marionette otherwise known as the Board of Works and Safety (that word again), the Democratic municipal machine is delaying all movement toward street grid reform for 18 months or more. However, as the intersection of Main and Bank attests, the grid already is unsafe, and in the regrettable vacuum created by Jeff Gahan's politically-inspired and plainly cowardly deferrals, our streets are becoming more unsafe by the day.

Jeff, Warren, Adam ... yo, guys, can we at least have a Band-Aid to staunch the bleeding?

Even a wooden clothespin in place of the necessary tourniquet might help us to stay alive and watch you ineffectually fiddle.

Following are some fair and balanced pros and cons of the 4-way stop.

The Great Stop Sign Experiment, by Sam Newberg (Streets MN)

... In the big picture my personal hope and goal is for my neighborhood (and city) to be a safer place for all ages to walk and bike. If that means cars have to drive slower or there is more congestion in places or at certain times of the day, I’m willing to accept that. If we build and manage our roads to accommodate rush-hour traffic, the livability of our city will suffer at all hours.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Bet you didn't know NAHA owns these properties on two corners of Main and Vincennes. Why?

Here's a "wowzer" for a sunny Saturday morning.

As of December of 2018, Gauleiter David Duggins' personal bulldozer-branded New Albany Housing Authority fiefdom (NAHA) now owns these two "gateway" properties at the corner of Main and Vincennes.

As yet it is isn't clear what these acquisitions mean. If you know, please let us in on the cocktail napkin scribblings from the booth at the Roadhouse.

As a preface to these documents, it should be known that the former Supreme Oil property on the west side of Vincennes, which during recent years was doing business as a car sales lot, actually comprises three lots joined together and valued separately, with a combined valuation of $123,000.

From the looks of it, Matt McMahan's flips were both artful and lucrative, less so for the taxpayer-funded NAHA, although we certainly cannot fault Matt for heeding Duggins' gently persuasive cooing amid our (somewhat) free market economy.

However, there are at least two cautionary flags in all this.

First, we know for a fact that when Duggins was at Redevelopment, he differed with Matt's use of the Supreme Oil property as a used car lot and constantly spoke of the importance of these "gateway" properties as connected with the Main Street project's excessive beautification expenditures.

Notorious D may finally taken control of properties he always coveted, but he's at NAHA now and not Redevelopment, and because NAHA's ostensible purpose is to be of assistance to humans, as opposed to profits, any business NAHA transacts with folks who own lots of houses, especially considering Duggins' own personal record and the mayor's support of voucher housing, needs to be subjected to intense scrutiny.

Paging the News and Tribune? Sorry, their Nawbany guy's up in a patriarchal pulpit yammering about abortion, and can't be bothered to cover the real world like we're doing here. 

Second, and the real point: So, why is NAHA buying these de facto "gateway" properties at the corner of beautified Main Street and Vincennes, viewed by City Hall as the next corridor to be made inhabitable by the beautiful people? Probably because the city-subsidized (and Gahan donating) Lancaster Lofts project remains on the drawing board only a block away.

How many buildings in this vicinity are owned by Neace Ventures, anyway?

These transactions aren't taking place in the sunshine, and they're not passing the smell test. Would NAHA's colonial administrators be interested in commenting? We know the newspaper won't ask.

#FireGahan2019

Even Pinocchio figured it out, so get those political signs out of the verge and into your yard.

Political yard signs aren't supposed to be placed in the verge, or the grassy area between sidewalk and curb. In the photo above, the house in the foreground gets it right. The two houses in the distance don't. It's an easy fix, so do it, okay?

In fairness, after a momentary lapse of protocol, even Pinocchio recalled some of the lessons of 40 years spent self-aggrandizing. At first he had it wrong ...

 ... and now he has it right.

People, this isn't nuclear physics. Keep your touts off the verge, and no signs get hurt.

Main Street intersections at Bank and 4th are hazardous for pedestrians. Where's City Hall, apart from a state of denial?

An increased number of businesses are on the north side of Main Street. More are on the south side (Underground Station) as well as one of the larger expanses of surface parking (by the levee).

Notice the crosswalks and other means of making pedestrian passage across this wide street easier.

That's right. There are none. 

The intersection of Bank and Main also is bad for drivers, especially those northbound from the surface lot. It's been two and a half years since this was first pointed out to BOW (reprint below).

Now the situation is worsening at 4th and Main, where Hull & High Water is generating a great deal of foot traffic, both from area parking and the beautified corridor.

Jeff Speck had thoughts about this. These are 17-foot traffic lanes and 8-foot parking depths. That's a whole 50 feet from one side to another, without any effort to slow traffic or assist pedestrians. 

Until city officials do something about this, anything they say about "walkability" is to be taken as an insult. After all, it's "not an option," is it?

---

May 13, 2015

Board of Works approves new city slogan for new city seal: "It's not an option."

There were many curiosities at yesterday's Board of Public Works and Safety meeting, held at the usual 10:00 a.m. slot which precludes so very much in the way of attendance and public input.

We learned that some folks can temporarily close streets with little effort, while others must assemble a petition. We noticed that when it comes to communications, it doesn't. It was reported that John "Human Chainsaw" Rosenbarger will be felling 30+ trees on Thomas Street, and planting 50 more ... and so on.

However, let's focus on just one of the items.

At a previous meeting, local businesses occupying the evolving Underground Station property on the corner of Main and Bank had asked the Board of Works to refit the intersection in front of their building (Main and Bank) into a 4-way stop, and to add a handicapped parking space on Main.

It wasn't surprising to hear street department commissioner Mickey Thompson speak for the board in waving away these requests, but his justifications (and his tone) were puzzling.

As for the handicapped space, Thompson feared establishing a harmful precedent, as though to say that if one business seeks a handicapped space, all of them would. Left unsaid was whether people with handicaps would find this useful.

But isn't the real question this: Why doesn't the city, through its Board of Works, proactively address parking issues and enforce parking ordinances? Why be troubled by a solitary handicapped space when no laws presently are enforced? After all, don't just do something -- stand there.

As for the 4-way stop request, which was made owing to steadily increasing traffic probably resulting from the simple fact that finally there is commercial traffic where before there was none, Thompson could do no better than grunt: "It's not an option." 

The obvious question that should have been asked and answered: "Why Not? Why isn't it an option?" 

We already know that through the top-down marionette otherwise known as the Board of Works and Safety (that word again), the Democratic municipal machine is delaying all movement toward street grid reform for 18 months or more. However, as the intersection of Main and Bank attests, the grid already is unsafe, and in the regrettable vacuum created by Jeff Gahan's politically-inspired and plainly cowardly deferrals, our streets are becoming more unsafe by the day.

Jeff, Warren, Adam ... yo, guys, can we at least have a Band-Aid to staunch the bleeding?

Even a wooden clothespin in place of the necessary tourniquet might help us to stay alive and watch you ineffectually fiddle.

Following are some fair and balanced pros and cons of the 4-way stop.

The Great Stop Sign Experiment, by Sam Newberg (Streets MN)

... In the big picture my personal hope and goal is for my neighborhood (and city) to be a safer place for all ages to walk and bike. If that means cars have to drive slower or there is more congestion in places or at certain times of the day, I’m willing to accept that. If we build and manage our roads to accommodate rush-hour traffic, the livability of our city will suffer at all hours.

The end of the beginning: "Blame the road design, not the phone."

When one's only strong impression about street design is that it should facilitate his or her rapid passage through populated urban areas, certain nuances are bound to be missed -- "steamrolled" might be a better way of putting it.

Here in New Albany, two-way streets are being put into service this month without the ballyhooed "enhanced" crosswalks being finished. The first such crosswalk was installed earlier this year at Main at W. 1st following a period of years during which City hall insisted it couldn't be done.

ASK THE BORED: Tucson's first rainbow crosswalk -- and we get stuck with dozens of lousy anchors enabled by municipal cowardice.

CM David Barksdale added that in his experience, the flashing lights not only fail to make an impression on drivers far too busy checking their iPhones, but also taper off too quickly once daring walkers have waded into the street.

Allow me to add that if solar-activated yellow flashing lights do not convince drivers to yield to pedestrians, soon-to-be ubiquitous sharrow symbols painted on streets do not convince drivers to share space with bicyclists.

Except that Main Street really hasn't been calmed in terms of design, has it?

With everything being done to encourage humans to pass on foot from the south side to the north side, and vice versa, Main Street remains a high-speed wasteland of automobile-centric design all the way from the sewage treatment plant to the beginning of the beautification area on Mansion Row.

The enhanced crosswalk at W. 1st is pleasant enough, but until street design on both sides supports its use -- and assuming drivers give a damn -- it's a very small pleasantry, indeed.

Just remember: The current realization of two-way streets and improved street design is not the end of a necessary adjustment to New Albany's auto-centric streets.

It's just the end of the beginning. Note that yet another media source blames the car for the accident .. not the driver.

BLAME THE ROAD DESIGN, NOT THE PHONE, by Rachel Quednau (Strong Towns)

In one of many recent news stories on "distracted walking," WPVI-TV Philadelphia reports that a "girl chatting on FaceTime [was] struck and critically injured by [a] car in Abington." As Lloyd Alter, writing for TreeHugger, summarizes it:

There was a serious crash recently near Philadelphia; a fourteen year old girl was crossing a street in a crosswalk, in a school zone, with signs posted on posts and tent signs all over the place saying that pedestrians have right of way. There are no trees, no obstructions, no reason whatsoever that the driver couldn't see that there was a pedestrian.

And yet, unsurprisingly, the WPVI-TV article focuses almost solely on the fact that the now-critically injured girl was on her iPhone when she was hit and implies that she is to blame for her injuries. In the 27-sentence article, there are only two mentions of the driver who struck this high schooler—one to explain that the driver stopped the car after the crash and the other mentioning that "no charges have been filed at this time."

In the article, we read about how bystanders dutifully called 911, how first responders rushed the girl to the hospital, and even how school counselors "have been made available to her peers." However, nowhere do we read that local officials are reassessing the design of the road on which this crash occurred to prevent future crashes from happening ...

W. 1st crosswalk propaganda: Other cities allow artists to create art. Ours merely glorifies its own fix-is-in muddy anchor.

The good news: The crosswalk the city denied was possible is almost completed.

The bad news: Nothing prepares you for the public propaganda installation on W. 1st.

Anybody got a bucket?

ASK THE BORED: Anti-climactic paving bids, Elm Street speedway work and the forthcoming W. 1st and Main intersection.

ASK THE BORED: A progress report on paving, two-way streets and the crosswalk on Main at W. 1st.

ASK THE BORED: It's a pretty penny, but safety for humans at the intersection of Main and W. 1st draws nearer.

ASK THE BORED: A progress report on paving, two-way streets and the crosswalk on Main at W. 1st.

From the BOW meeting of May 16, in their own words, an update on downtown grid paving and the crosswalk project at Main and W. 1st.

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A MEETING OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS & SAFETY OF THE CIVIL CITY OF NEW ALBANY, INDIANA, WAS HELD IN THE THIRD FLOOR ASSEMBLY ROOM AT THE CITY/COUNTY BUILDING ON TUESDAY, MAY 16, 2017 AT 10:00 A.M.

PRESENT: Mickey Thompson, member, Cheryl Cotner-Bailey, member, and Warren V. Nash, president. 

OTHERS PRESENT: Fire Chief Juliot, Fire Marshal Koehler, Mike Hall, Sandy Boofter, Chris Gardner, Bryan Slade, Sidney Main, Larry Summers, David Hall, Jessica Campbell, Police Chief Bailey, Alicia Meredith, Courtney Lewis and Mindy Milburn

(excerpt follows)

Sunny Dickerson, HWC Engineering, reported on the progress of the two-way conversion. He explained that the underground conduit is in on Spring Street as well as the pit bores for the detector houses. He stated that they are starting on Elm Street today and they should be done with that by the end of the week. He added that the work will be contingent upon MAC completing their paving work but as of right now everything looks to be on schedule.

Wes Christmas explained that the south side of the milling is completed and they are already working on the north side, so it should be completed today. He stated that there may be a few side streets that need to be finished but they plan to start paving tomorrow. He explained that the plan is to have all the paving work completed by Thursday and Friday if the weather cooperates. He stated next week is an off week for paving activities while they wrap up the underground work, and the week of May 30th they will begin the same process on Elm Street.

Mr. Nash asked about the temporary markings that will be put out.

Mr. Christmas explained that it will be the same configuration as it is now and will not change until all the new signage and signals are complete.

Mr. Nash asked if Market would be done after Elm

Mr. Christmas replied yes and explained that all paving is anticipated to be complete before the end of June. He added that Police Chief Bailey suggested installing additional signage to let the residents and businesses know what is going on so they have small signs every 30 feet down the corridor as well as an additional message board.    

Mrs. Cotner-Bailey asked if they could have door hangers.

Mr. Christmas explained that they haven’t done it in the past but they could check on that if they need to.

Mr. Nash asked if the signs have been working.

Police Chief Bailey stated that there hasn’t been a tremendous problem and they have the few incidents under control. 

Mr. Summers asked Mr. Christmas to touch on the West 1^st and Main Street project.

Mr. Christmas explained that this is for the bump-outs and pedestrian crossings and the work is under way. He stated that the majority of the concrete is poured on the southeast corner and they started demo on the southwest corner. He explained that once the south side is done they will jump over the north side and do the other two corners. He added that beyond the intersection the only work that is being done is the addition of a few trees.

Mr. Nash commented that some of the trees on State Street look too big for the bump-outs.

Mr. Christmas stated that the trees were suggested by Greg Mills and are supposed to be of a smaller variety. 

This Main Street sharrows symbol feels all patched and forlorn -- and a billboard comes tumbling down.

But just LOOK at that professional landscaping.

Never a dull moment on Main Street, is there? The beautification project is the political gift that keeps giving costing, and the billboard is less of an eyesore as a twisted heap than it was while standing.

But the aristocrats? Very happy.