Showing posts with label Gahania megalomania. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gahania megalomania. Show all posts

Saturday, September 14, 2019

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Main and Bank work to begin on Monday the 13th -- or was that Friday the 16th?


On Thursday, it became apparent that Slick Jeffie's $500,000 stop light project at the intersection of Main and Bank, the urgent need for which has been apparent for at least six years, but which has been delayed until right NOW because of the mayor's self-glorification imperatives elsewhere, is coming to fruition only because of election year politics.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: The shenanigans and ass-hattery of Deaf Gahan's last-minute Main and Bank stop light project have commenced.

 ... The foreman seemed to be in a blind panic. He said the Bank/Main project had been labeled "emergency" election year status and therefore would be fast tracked, adding that the amount of work they have to get done would typically require three months -- ah, but Deaf Gahan has demanded that work be completed in 27 days.

Gahan's insistent it be finished before Harvest Homecoming even though this foreman admitted he had never had a project this size proceed that quickly and didn't know how they were going to get it done.

One might say okay, but at least it's finally being done -- except it should be a four-way stop project from the get-go, albeit inflated to fiscal grandiosity in a vacuum owing to the usual dictates of fluffery, and as oft times before, the independent businesspersons nearest the project, whose routines are to be interrupted most profoundly BEFORE Harvest Homecoming renders them inaccessible for a whole week, HADN'T BEEN TOLD ANYTHING AT ALL BY THE CITY ABOUT THE PROJECT.

Of course, this is standard dysfunctional procedure, and the way it works almost every time. If a mayoral flunky or visiting engineer tells the Bored of Works that stakeholders have been notified, it means none have been notified. Team Gahan's obligations tend to be toward self-perpetuation, not timely notification.

But on Thursday afternoon, September 12 ... with 27 days of compressed destruction about to commence on Monday, September 16, at long last Gahan got around to letting shopkeepers in on the program.

By proxy, of course.

Look what showed up at the end if the day yesterday. Delivered by the construction foreman, not a member of the administration. Charmingly vague, eh?


This is what "work starting Monday" looks like.

I don't blame the construction company for getting started right away, but Gahan's office needs to get it's head out of its ass and be up front about the impact this is going to have on businesses. Work starting today is fine, just SAY that work is starting today.

Like, that's not even a lie worth telling.

Construction slated to begin on the 16th actually began on Friday the 13th, so apparently it must be a lie worth telling because Gahan tells it every single time -- and still the sycophants sing the praises of a mayor whose only noteworthy skill is using an abacus to count the money given to him by no-bid contract seekers.

We can do something about this, you know.

#FireGahan2019
#DrainTheGahanSwamp

Thursday, September 12, 2019

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: The shenanigans and ass-hattery of Deaf Gahan's last-minute Main and Bank stop light project have commenced.


The shenanigans and ass-hattery of Deaf Gahan's last-minute Main and Bank stop light project have commenced, and once again merchants at and near Underground Station are in for a hell of a ride.

But first, let's have a look at the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of Gahan's political patronage, as performed by our Bored of Works on September 3. Note again that "over time" as cited here by city engineer Larry Summers must be translated for ordinary citizens to understand:

"We didn't bother with this intersection for years on end until just recently, when instead of posting a pre-schooler to stand there, watch, and view the idiocy, we awarded an $80,000 contract for research to one of the mayor's donors."


Now, having waited years on end to do what was obvious all along, Gahan is showing his horses the whip.

The Green Mouse reports ...

---

I was walking down Main Street yesterday between 5th Street and Bank, when a semi-trailer as big as Gahan's ego flew past me on Main doing about 45 mph, reminding us that when the mayor threw all that money at the tall native weed medians where the rich folks live, there wasn't any money left to actually take a stab at slowing traffic elsewhere.

There was a commotion. Cones started going down on Bank Street, and then surveyors, Duke Energy people, Larry Summers and Mickey Thompson from the Street Department gathered.

A very harried looking man arrived and introduced himself as the foreman on the project and proceeded to outline what was about to happen to merchants in Underground Station and facing Main. 

Starting Monday the 16th, Bank Street on the south side of Main will be shut down and dug down to the depth of two feet. The entire intersection of Main and Bank will be milled as all the new light and anchor-festooned crosswalk infrastructure goes in. 

The foreman seemed to be in a blind panic. He said the Bank/Main project had been labeled "emergency" election year status and therefore would be fast tracked, adding that the amount of work they have to get done would typically require three months -- ah, but Deaf Gahan has demanded that work be completed in 27 days

Gahan's insistent it be finished before Harvest Homecoming even though this foreman admitted he had never had a project this size proceed that quickly and didn't know how they were going to get it done

I offered him a loaded Rice Krispies Treat and some Kool-Aid, and this seemed to calm him. Subsequently it transpired that yet again, the city hadn't bothered dispensing information to stakeholders, perhaps because of the election-year emergency. 

For instance Dr. Gradel at StoneWater Acupuncture & Chiropractic, whose office already is barely accessible due to the Reisz Mahal nonsense, had not been informed of what was going to happen. I watched as she chased down Thompson to ask for temporary loading zone signage in the hopes that her clients, who are coming to her for medical care, MIGHT be able to actually get to her office.

One of the merchants texted their landlord to ask if anyone from the city had contacted him, but he hadn't heard anything from them and only just saw the newspaper article.

The Underground Station courtyard will be restricted in terms of accessibility, and customers will have to park in the back and then hoof it around to Pearl Street and up to get to any of the Main Street businesses.

Is Gahan ever going to allow New Albany merchants to transact business in peace? It just goes to show that people who've never run a business themselves have no idea what it's really like.

Right, Adam?

---

Slick Jeffie's wasteful masterpiece: $85,000 + $406,522 = the price for traffic lights at a downtown intersection where a four-way stop would work just fine.


GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Did Team Gahan really eject former mayor James Garner from its campaign kickoff love-in last Saturday?

Wednesday, September 04, 2019

Slick Jeffie's wasteful masterpiece: $85,000 + $406,522 = the price for traffic lights at a downtown intersection where a four-way stop would work just fine.


Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the unquestioning, cursory coverage of the Tom May Gazette's Chris "Am I retired yet?" Morris.

Stop light coming to busy New Albany intersection

The New Albany Board of Public Works & Safety approved a bid from Ragle, Inc. Tuesday to install a light at the intersection of Bank and Main streets. Merchants in the area have been critical of the intersection for being too dangerous for both pedestrians and drivers. And with the new city hall expected to open in the next six months near the intersection will just add to the problem.

Ragle, Inc. was the only company to submit a bid for $406,522. The city's legal department will review the bid and give final approval and work will begin soon after. The bid also includes repaving the portion of Bank near the floodwall.

"We have looked at this extensively," city engineer Larry Summers said. "We feel like there is an immediate need."

One of the reasons why the intersection of Bank and Main has been so dangerous for so long is the city's refusal to address driver behavior on Main between State and 5th. Of course, having wasted every last penny of the state's perpetual maintenance endowment on the Main Street Beautification and High Weeds project, there's been no pile of cash for Team Gahan to pillage for piddling factors like safety.

This said, the intersection of Bank and Main could be easily calmed and regulated by the installation of a four-way stop, with a few stop signs and red flashers like the ones recently installed at the intersection of 13th and Elm -- itself a stupidly hazardous place that the city's "brain trust" insisted for years wasn't an issue, but finally became necessary to "fix" so that Greg Phipps could have something to campaign on.

Stop signs at the intersection of Bank and Main might cost a couple thousand dollars. So, how do we do it in Jeff Pay-to-PlayHan's Anchor City?

1. Ignore the problem for at least five years (see links below), and whenever  asked, about it, just push "play" as the city engineer makes another rote explanation of how it's utterly impossible to rectify -- right up until the moment when political expediency makes it absolutely critical to do RIGHT now, at whatever the cost.

2. Thus, with an election about to occur and a crescendo of dissatisfaction with five or more years of cowardly denial, it's time to select a frequent Gahan4Life campaign finance donor for yet another hocus-pocus $85k study -- in other words, post a minimum wage employee to stand there for a few hours and observe what any pre-schooler could plainly see with his or her own two eyes.

3. Award a $406,522 contract to install lights, anchor-seal-gizmo crosswalks and ubiquitous "Have a Good Gahan" yellow smiley faces, all the while doing absolutely nothing to calm traffic on any side of the intersection.

4. Have the same engineer who kept saying it was impossible to make fresh new gurgling sounds about the desperate need to rectify something he'd been commanded to ignore for five or more years, because after all, in New Gahania, Job One = Job Retention. Naturally we can't entirely blame the minions, who must bear the brunt of Gahan's incessant hypocrisy so that Dear Leader can reign forever.

5. At long last ProMedia assembles the area's pliant newspapers and television stations for the ceremonial motorized convoy, traveling a whole 30 yards between the shambolic delayed edifice of the $12 million Reisz Mahal and the brand new bells-and-whistles intersection, at a cost of only $491,522 instead of a few stop signs and flashing red lights.

As the ribbon is cut and contractors dump boots filled with cash into fish tanks, Adam Dickey is seen slouching in a doorway, tears gushing from his eyes, his poor hankie dripping with snot, owing to his good fortune in being alive to serve Deaf Gahan's every need.

A poem about love comes to Dickey's mind.

Two men are joined as one in you:
One seems cold and hard,
One who achieves his goals.
Another is tender and kind,
He forgets not even the poorest.
He feels for the least of us.

Two streams owe their strength to you.
You are the sap rising from each root,
The seed that gives them birth —
A new spirit rose from you,
That forged us together as a city-state
And dwells in us forever!

Hmm. Dude's no better of a poet than a party chairman, is he?

---

Previously at the only New Albany blog that really matters:

October 22, 2014
Which downtown New Albany intersections are the very worst for walkers?

October 29, 2017
Main Street intersections at Bank and 4th are hazardous for pedestrians. Where's City Hall, apart from a state of denial?

April 2, 2019
Institutional cowardice might explain why the Board of Works has routinely ignored complaints about the dangerous intersection of Main and Bank Streets ... since at least 2015.

June 27, 2019
ASK THE BORED: BOW says it might do what it said it couldn't, but only after a Gahan campaign donor gets a fat no-bid contract for another $85k "study."

Thursday, April 04, 2019

Gahan convenes counter-revolutionary anti-terrorism squads because "business owners want to see changes made to busy New Albany intersection."


As noted in this space on Tuesday, institutional cowardice helps to explain why the Board of Works has routinely ignored complaints about the dangerous intersection of Main and Bank Streets since at least 2015.

To understand this situation, one must don a Hazmat suit, shrink to corpuscle dimensions and climb inside the mind of our terminally bunker-bound mayor, who views the hostile world outside in simple shades of black and white.

Jeff Gahan regards himself as perfect; as such, all his top-down directives must also be perfect, because as Aquinas probably wrote, imperfection cannot ever be the product of perfection.

Therefore, a point of view differing from Gahan's is by definition imperfect, and by extension, those expressing a differing point of view can be doing so for political reasons alone. To Gahan, why else would imperfection exist if not to disrupt his own carefully laid plans? Therefore, opposition always is political,not related to ideas and content.

If you're a Mt. Tabor Road resident, a downtown business owner, a public housing dweller, a bicyclist, a homeowner in an area intended for annexation, owner of a motor vehicle targeted with selective enforcement or supporter of David White, Mark Seabrook or Dan Coffey, you're an enemy.

Your reasons for asking questions are not important, because who questions perfection?

Only a malcontent.

It's Gahan (and to a vastly lesser extent the DemoDisneyDixiecrats) against the world, and if your captive city engineer has been using the same excuse for four long years -- (simper, whimper) we can't do anything to make a street safe for all users unless we conduct a study, which we may or may not consider at some point in the future -- then it's Gahan doing the talking, and what Gahan is saying is this:

Be good little boys and girls, take this medicine I'm giving you, and never forget to be seen glorifying New Gahania, not asking stupid questions of perfection incarnate.

Business owners want to see changes made to busy New Albany intersection, by Hayden Ristevski (WDRB)

Some New Albany business owners have major concerns about a busy intersection.

Cisa Kubley, owner of Sew Fitting, and Stacie Bale, co-owner of Road Runner Kitchen, both said the intersection of Bank and Main Streets is too dangerous.

"We spend all day listening to car tires screeching and horns being blown, because people are in a hurry to get through here,” Kubley said.

It’s hard for drivers to see oncoming traffic on Main Street if they’re attempting to turn off of Bank Street. There also is not an outlined cross walk for people trying to cross Main Street.

"It's scary as a pedestrian to try to cross this street at the width, because you always feel like you have to run,” Kubley said.

There is a crosswalk on Bank Street, but cars turning off of Main Street may have a hard time seeing pedestrians.

"You can't cross it safely,” Bale said ...

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Have you been threatened or harassed by Mayor Jeff Gahan or someone in his inner circle? Let's talk about it.


Have you been threatened or harassed by Mayor Gahan or someone in his inner circle?

If so, I need to speak with you. I'd like to hear your story, and moreover I'd like to write your story and tell your story -- understandably, given the likelihood of reprisals, your anonymity is assured.

It's an election year and Team Gahan will spend the following months hoisting numerous pictures of bright, shiny objects. These will be accompanied by glowing words of boilerplate written to a template stolen from big league Democrats by unctuous sycophants like Adam 'Tricky" Dickey.

Team Gahan won't mention hidden costs or the extent to which the mayor's cult of personality is taxpayer-funded. They will say nothing of the pay-to-play patronage system that funnels tens of thousands of dollars into the campaign finance account.

Most importantly, they'll say nothing about Gahan's persistent abuse of living, breathing human beings, depicting him as a benevolent "little father" to all childlike New Albanians.

Many of you know better. Your stories need to be heard so we can begin to demolish Jeff Gahan's personality cult, one fabrication at a time. Folks, the emperor's new clothes are little more than press releases he commissions, then believes.

Thanks. I look forward to hearing your side of the story.

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

ON THE AVENUES: Histrionic preservation? $8.5 million to gift Jeff Gahan with a new city hall "want" is inexcusable and simply obscene in a time of societal need.

ON THE AVENUES: Histrionic preservation? $8.5 million to gift Jeff Gahan with a luxury city hall "want" is simply obscene in a time of societal need. 

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

I'm making up for the vacation day two weeks ago. For this afternoon's follow-up post, go here.

Back in 2014, Mayor Jeff Gahan had a prime opportunity to advance historic preservation.

A noted local contractor was willing to renovate the 150-year-old tavern building at 922 Culbertson Avenue, once doing business as Haughey’s Place, and known to a later generation as Al-Mel's. According to an oral understanding between the contractor and City Hall, Haughey’s was to be rehabilitated into the sort of street corner fixture our neighborhoods so desperately need.

Alas, poor Haughey's.

Unknown to most, a top-secret, in-house plan already was gestating to subsidize New Directions to build four houses in long-vacant lots across the street from Haughey's, and after a brief lull for campaign finance ciphering, our distinguished C-minus student/mayor abruptly reneged on saving the tavern, instead ordering the demolition of this longtime community gathering place.

ON THE AVENUES: A year later, the backroom politics of pure spite at Haughey’s Tavern still reek. (2015)

ON THE AVENUES: Now on tap at the ghost of Haughey's Place: The politics of pure spite. (2014)

Two more houses were added to the New Directions mandate, to be built atop the tavern’s vanquished, naked footprint. In 2015, to the surprise of absolutely no one, flash cards of these six finished houses (weirdly dubbed "painted ladies" by prudes unaware of prostitution's age-old vernacular) became one of Gahan’s prime re-election platform planks. Obviously, vacuous propaganda of this ilk was the primary reason for the tavern’s demolition in the first place.

Do you remember what our Genius of the Flood Plain said about the death sentence he handed to Haughey’s?

“After the construction of these homes are completed, no one will miss the dilapidated structure that was at 922 Culbertson Avenue.”

Sensitive self-monetizer, isn't he?

Four years later, these six pleasant, ordinary houses haven't made so much as a dent in terms of the city’s affordable housing crisis, and Gahan's brief, tepid interest in the topic had evaporated even before he began giggling with a poo-bah's childlike delight at his brilliant stratagem of targeting vulnerable populations at the New Albany Housing Authority for eviction and dispersal. The mayor's signature public housing putsch was greeted with fawning, slobbering approval by the Democratic Party's semi-literate bookless bootlickers.

It's June, 2018, and peak Gahanism has arrived. The Leaden Anchor-Laden Emperor has decreed that housing conditions for his staff outweigh the needs of the many, and so it seems inevitable that the “dilapidated” and “neglected” Reisz Furniture building on Main Street not only will escape the tavern’s dismal fate, but is singularly worthy of conversion into a brilliant new showpiece City Hall, one destined to gather many gushing state and national preservation awards, and some sweet day, bear the mayor’s name in awestruck tribute.


The backroom deals seemingly have been cut, the dupes corralled, and the necessary votes secured. Beaks are achieving optimal wetness. Of course, had Gahan concluded the opposite -- that a new parking garage, concert promotion bureau or gaping hole in the ground would be better to keep his gang of influence-peddlers in power -- then Reisz would have long since been reduced to rubble.

Histrionic preservationists should take pause, because it would be a mistake to rule out this purely conceivable outcome.

Other folks count sheep, Gahan enumerates wrecking balls -- and tree stumps, full-page magazine ads and anchor tattoos -- and Reisz might yet tumble earthward if the mayor doesn’t get his way.

Surely the snarling pre-emptive threats already have been transmitted via a brace of 2:00 a.m. phone calls to the minions, who silently curse the inconvenience as they bill to the mayor's dulcet coo. The envelopes are stuffed, and the globe keeps spinning.

---

Whenever Gahan, a presumed Democrat, pontificates about the Reisz project being “a move to protect our history," I sadly recall the fate of Haughey’s and so many other remnants of the city’s past, buildings that might have been adaptively re-used, but didn’t meet the threshold of narcissistic grandiloquence demanded by the mayor’s ethics-free selective reasoning and laughably elevated self-image.

In a city more allergic to irony than pollen or ragweed, Gahan’s newfound tender concern for the historical imperatives of the Reisz building is profoundly ironic, too. Do you recall those two words, “dilapidated” and “neglect”?

They’re not mine.

Rather, they come straight from Dear Leader’s mouth, via the medium of Mike Hall, the Shadow Mayor & Big Word Interpreter & Imperial Court Food Taster, and they serve as the convenient excuse for Gahan to don his Halloween leftover Superman outfit and rescue this pathetically abused historic building from the scandalous clutches of its shirker owner, who after all, has allowed it to deteriorate to the current juncture of high urgency.

Except the neglectful "villain" in this instance has been remunerated far above market value for his stubbornness. The redevelopment commission surreptitiously gifted the Reisz’s purchase price of $390,000 to the city’s preferred contractor Denton Floyd -- by sheer coincidence, a firm frequently contributing to Gahan’s campaign war chest -- which duly passed the money to the Reisz building’s owner, who as Gahan himself concedes, rendered it dilapidated in the first place.

In consequence-free Nawbany, the words “miraculous government-enabled windfall bailout” spring immediately to mind.

Eagerly abetting Gahan’s desire to erect a lasting memorial to his shimmering and saintly benevolence is councilman David “Tunnel Vision” Barksdale, a thoroughly camouflaged Republican and prominent historic preservationist, who has let it be known that the Reisz building is so very important to the city that no cost is too great to “save” it.

To summarize, for at least thirty years the structure has rotted, but only now, with a crucial municipal election coming in 2019, does time suddenly become of the essence. The decision about Reisz must be made right away, with as little transparent public debate as possible, or else the city’s forward progress will be halted dead in its tracks.

And people still wonder why I’m cynical. 

---

So it is that even by the perennially underachieving standards of New Albany political decision-making, proponents of the Reisz renovation have mustered weak, wearying and dubious arguments in support of this project.

For example, there’s the "wave the bloody shirt of macho civic pride" argument. Gahan asks how we can countenance our neglected and dilapidated (my words, not his) city department sycophants laboring in an outdated and cramped shambles of a shared city-county building owned by our mortal enemies in Floyd County government, who long ago supplanted heinous Jeffersonville as the proper object of patriotic New Albanian scorn.

In short: If the city doesn’t immediately get its own pad, that dastardly Mark Seabrook wins!

As such, Gahan proposes to improve and enlarge the work space in a future Reisz City Hall, but seriously, do a couple dozen city employees really need four times more office space in this age of the microchip, when administrative needs are ever more reduced and compacted?

Besides, no other City Hall rehousing options have been explored. None of the many other historic buildings in need of refurbishment have been considered, and new construction evidently is off the table. Not once has it been explained why the cavernous Reisz building is the only possible solution to an insignificant problem -- apart from “Big Daddy G says so.”

However, there are at least 8,500,000 solid reasons to be wary, because since the Reisz dream was announced less than a year ago, the annual cost to the city for these new digs already has more than doubled, to $570,000 per year on a handy 15-year, rent-to-own payment plan, with the necessity of TIF pledges as collateral.

Imagine how $570,000 each year might address the genuine needs of city residents, like decent housing, workforce training, transit choices or remedying our shrinking urban tree canopy. It might even finance the long overdue fulfillment of Gahan's pledge to institute rental property inspections, which he's hoping we've forgotten. We haven't. 

The most unconvincing argument of all comes from Barksdale, who claims this total investment of at least $8.5 million to provide enhanced luxury government space is fully justified because it will definitively prove at long last to skeptical townspeople that City Hall is willing to put “skin in the game.”

To support this breathtaking instance of middle school adolescent playground logic, Barksdale asserts that during the past decade, entrepreneurs and private investors have poured somewhere around $60 million into downtown.

Stopped analog clocks can be trusted twice a day, and Barksdale is correct; he may be lowballing the amount, but he's drawing a mistaken conclusion.

To understand why, consider that few, if any, of the incentives, abatements and giveaways routinely awarded by the city to corporate entities like Sazerac have yet to land in the deserving laps of these independent business operators.

They’ve gone it almost entirely alone, and an uncommon number have succeeded, and yet somehow from this reality Barksdale conjures an indie business community desperately begging the city to display insane fiscal profligacy by pumping $8.5 million into a single downtown building rather than into downtown as a whole.

It's an "all eggs into one basket" proposition, moving a small number of government employees already adequately housed a mere stone's throw away, while at the same time taking the Reisz building permanently off the tax rolls, and worse, foolishly depleting economic development resources to facilitate the wants of four-times-bigger government, as opposed to the needs of private sector employers, or more importantly, of ordinary citizens all over town who are struggling to make ends meet.

Barksdale’s elitist view of what constitutes "skin in the game" doesn't make sense. It's our "skin" as citizens, not his (or Gahan's). Simply stated, this is sheer, contrived, oblivious and unadulterated hokum.

---

Councilman Scott Blair, an independent, sensibly suggests (to Deaf ears) that "putting skin in the game" might be more effective, and more prudent financially, if mayor and council worked together to prioritize the Reisz building's redemption via the private sector, with the city devoting reasonably-scaled dollops of economic development funds and subsidies to help someone else save the building and keep it taxable.

Blair understands that what downtown stakeholders don’t really need is $8.5 million devoted to the enhancement of mayoral megalomania, while masquerading as historic preservation fetishism. However, downtown stakeholders actually do need some skin, just not in the form of a government-only housing upgrade.

They need infrastructure improvements aimed at greater walkability, bikeability and access for the disabled.

They -- we -- need more residents living downtown ... fast and modern internet access ... grassroots programs for small business ... capable workers ... a structured plan for branding and marketing ... and two-way streets -- not like Gahan’s half-assed pavement enhancement expenditure last year, but in the form of reliable transparency and regular communication from, and with, City Hall itself.

Grassroots support, not trickle down; and moreover, stakeholders in the remainder of the city need these investments and innovations, as well.

Mark these words: Gahan's chronic neglect of the periphery, and his occasional colonial abuses of outlying neighborhoods (ask Mt. Tabor Road residents "why he's here") are about to become an important campaign issue for 2019.

If it’s true that a government building stuffed with government workers can be a viable tool for revitalization -- and this notion is highly debatable -- wouldn’t it be a better idea to move City Hall to the moribund Colonial Manor shopping center on Charlestown Road, thereby helping to revitalize a “neglected” corridor that really needs it?*

Overall, considering the many issues we face citywide, ask yourself truthfully: can $8.5 million to overhaul the Reisz building for government use, and government use alone, genuinely help resolve a single one of them?

No, and anyone who thinks ordinary New Albanians-on-the-street are clamoring for this potted project has descended into self-delusion. If put to a referendum, a new or remodeled City Hall would lose at least 70% - 30%. and every ranking political suit in town knows it, hence the cloak and dagger back alley pursuit of Gahan’s and Barksdale’s narrow and expensive goal.

I generally favor historic preservation, and it was a punch to the gut to watch the wrecking ball fell Haughey’s Tavern, but it's past the time for us to recognize that preservationists are not immune to jumping the shark.

Remember when the "cost be damned" necessity of the moment was a heroic crusade to save the tiny Emery's Ice Cream building?


I, too, advocate the rehabilitation of the Reisz, but in the rational and integrated fashion suggested by Scott Blair. A final council vote remains, and it’s still possible for reason to prevail if one of four councilmen, all Democrats, come back to earth: Nash, Phipps, Caesar or McLaughlin. Courage, anyone?

The lessons of the past also mustn’t be forgotten. Gahan’s rapacious, self-serving and politically motivated calculations have brought us to this absurd juncture.

In effect, the mayor is endorsing an equation whereby Barksdale and the historic preservationist contingent assert that the Reisz building must be saved at any cost, and by extension, only government can shoulder the burden of unlimited costs since limitless money is what government is here to provide for ideas precisely like this.

Boundless money ... and for what?

A building, not people.

This is the final, infuriating insult, and it is inexplicable to me that Barksdale and the lock-step community pillars being pushed to the lectern in support of this extravagance (although not Gahan himself, who as usual, hasn't bothered to appear publicly at all) blithely favor bilking taxpayers to the tune of $8.5 million to save this single building, but when they're asked about Gahan’s eagerness to demolish public housing units without a coherent plan to rehouse the flesh-and-blood humans who’ll be displaced, they no longer have anything to say, and head straight for the exits.

Eyes turn to the ceiling, crickets chirp and pins drop. Somewhere, a dog balefully yowls.

It's the silence of the shams.

They adore bright shiny objects, not so much the vulnerable. Glorious government buildings, not persons in need. Plaques for the self-anointed pillars, not assistance for the oppressed. Disney-fried grandiosity in bricks and mortar … not human beings.

Hypocrisy on this colossal scale unfortunately isn't novel in New Albany, though it's no less sickening when it flares.

However, we can rejoice, because in less than a year, there’ll be the opportunity to rectify the robotic empathy imbalance by way of the ballot's historically restorative power.

Until then, please call your councilman and ask him (they’re all men, you know, each and every one of them) to explain how an $8.5 million City Hall helps resolve anything at all -- and if they don't hang up on you, send their answers to NA Confidential.

---

* with a nod to the Bookseller.

---

Recent columns:

June 7: ON THE AVENUES: Taco Bell has as much to do with "local business" as Jeff Gahan does with "quality urban design principles."

There was no column on May 31.

May 24: ON THE AVENUES: Long live Keg Liquors Fest of Ale, an indisputable annual beer institution.

May 17: ON THE AVENUES: Ghosts within these stones, defiance in these bones.

Thursday, June 07, 2018

ON THE AVENUES: Taco Bell has as much to do with "local business" as Jeff Gahan does with "quality urban design principles."

ON THE AVENUES: Taco Bell has as much to do with "local" business as Jeff Gahan does with "quality urban design principles."

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

Serendipity is the chief motivating factor behind all of human existence, and this fact might explain how I happened upon a film clip from a television series I never once watched.


Last week on Facebook, the proud owner of the newly plasticized Taco Bell perched precariously in a bulldozed flat spot halfway up a hillside that used to be delightfully wooded – just below the barren strip mine tableau up on top, which might yet boast a Rio-sized statue of Dear Leader grinning vacantly and C-student-like, hovering over us all – praised loyal New Albanians for supporting his “local business.”

Jeeebus, here we go again. Does anyone around here read? If you’re baffled by the onslaught of “fake news,” then look no further than the bathroom mirror, which reveals a human being desperately seeking self-delusion.

When the Gordita-bearer was lightly questioned, predictably vapid bilge came spilling out: it’s not a chain at all, because it’s a franchise, and the franchise is locally owned because it’s not a chain, and therefore, this Taco Bell is no different from Aladdin or Lady Tron’s.

By the same token, the Ford Fusion that I inherited from my mother, manufactured in Sonora, Mexico, magically becomes a “local” New Albanian automobile because I drive and operate it locally.

Uh huh.

Right.

It’s all so very tiring. You substitute money for creativity, buying a fully developed restaurant built and programmed by others. You cannot change the menu on whim by substituting Frito Bandito Hot Browns for Roadkill Chalupas, but you’re quite happy to reap the benefits from national advertising and sponsorship campaigns of the sort almost never available to indie innovators.

Yes, it’s true that you must have enough money to buy the franchise and sufficient moxie to run it, but I’m guessing that bankers are far more cooperative with franchise financing than start-ups from scratch, and of course the entire point of franchising is to adjust the risk factor inherent to start-ups by applying the sheer weight of huge pervasiveness.

It's ever harder to discuss matters like this without unleashing f-bombs. Franchisees like the strip mine Taco Bell mogul are almost as objectionable as those wealthy kids born on third base, convinced they hit a triple. It’s more like paying the umpire for a base on balls, trotting to first, and claiming to have been hit in the face by a pitch.

Note: Genuine independent local small business owners know exactly what being hit in the face by a pitch feels like; it's how we learn, daily, without a safety net from a multinational, making it doubly ironic that one redevelopment commission appointee loudly cheering this cookie cutter Taco Bell is the legitimate long-term owner of a local independent business.

Such is the busyness of sycophancy.

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There’s another big difference between franchise accumulators and indie entrepreneurs, in that neither Aladdin nor Lady Tron’s have been selected as winners in City Hall’s subsidized strip mine development lottery, unlike the operator of the sleek and utterly non-unique “local” Taco Bell.

Taco Bell’s winning ticket casually rides piggyback, wearing flip-flops, on the backs of the stubborn property development coagulators Pat and Pam Kelley, who have relentlessly pursued a lifelong goal of paving every last square inch of their holdings, whether knob or valley, with the closest distance between these two points invariably measured by enhanced storm water runoff, even when their kinky desire to build a shiny profit-making city shitty on a hill was contested by the Dear Leader – and it was, at least for a while.

Then Scott Wood got waterboarded and the city collapsed into a puddle of cowardly avarice when the unmistakable odor of opportunism became too alluring to ignore, with Jeff “Dollar Sign” Gahan dispatching David “Bag Man” Duggins to broker a deal, and overnight, as though New Albany were standing in for Orwell’s decrepit Oceania, City Hall no longer sought to enforce rationality in development, but instead grandiosely announced its “partnership” in purposeful irrationality.

From that moment, when taxpayers footed the bill for a spanking new mountain-engineered road to reach the very Summit of the Kelleys’ insatiable greed, the Kelley/Gahan Loot-A-Thon became an indirect subsidy for multi-national hotel and fast food chains.

In turn, this helping hand from the mayoral picker of winners has emboldened the Taco Bell owner to proclaim he’s a local independent businessman, which is propaganda so shameless in its deception that neither Paul Joseph Goebbels nor Sarah Huckabee Sanders have shown any interest in furthering it.

At least Goebbels has the good taste to be dead. Shall we discuss the many high-wage jobs being generated by the subsidies granted to Summit Springs?

No? I thought as mush – make that “much,” but not “munch,” at least at a Taco Bell … ever. Local, my ass.

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Near the end of the Irish ballad Carrickfergus, the singer comes to an epiphany: “But I'll sing no more now til I get a drink.”

That's what I'm saying, and I’ll write just a bit more before shuffling off to the liquor cabinet. At Governing, there’s a cautionary tale about the convergence of excessive economic development subsidies and worsening inequality.

Early this year, construction began on a $130 million luxury high-rise apartment building in St. Louis’ burgeoning Central West End neighborhood. The development will dramatically alter the area’s skyline, but the city won’t be reaping much tax revenue from it anytime soon. Local officials approved a 95 percent property tax abatement that will be in place for a decade, as well as an exemption from sales taxes on the construction costs of the project.

These tax breaks coincide with steep spending reductions St. Louis made last year to bridge a budget shortfall. They are contributing to concerns that many neighborhoods and lower-income residents in the city aren’t benefiting from the tax breaks enacted to encourage projects like the luxury apartment complex.

Many other localities aren’t all that different from St. Louis. Early evidence from newly released financial data suggests that local governments most heavily reliant on tax incentives tend to be those with greater levels of economic inequality.

In New Albany, greater levels of economic inequality have become a favored, risk-free platform for Democratic candidates, and accordingly, the city’s heavily sapped tax increment financing (TIF) areas are displaying an increasingly sickly pallor.

And, speaking of shambles, subsidies and the impending Reisz City Hall historic preservation project, Paul Cooper (at BBC) offers a fascinating explanation of how dictators exploit ruins: “(Saddam Hussein) followed Mussolini’s lead in appropriating ancient ruins to tell a flattering story about his own authoritarian regime.”

For Saddam, the ruined city of Babylon had always held a special fascination. He ordered an ambitious reconstruction of the city’s walls, costing millions of dollars at the height of the Iran-Iraq War. And he raised the walls to a historically-improbable 11.5m (38ft) high, drawing criticism from the international archaeological community, who accused him of turning Babylon into ‘Disney for a despot’. As a finishing touch, Saddam built an anachronistic Roman-style theatre in the ruins. When archaeologists told him that ancient kings like Nebuchadnezzar had stamped their names on Babylon’s bricks, Saddam insisted that his own name be stamped on the modern bricks used in the reconstruction. These efforts were later described by Provisional Coalition Leader Paul Bremer, who was the envoy to the new Iraqi government following Saddam’s fall in 2003, as “a travesty… ersatz monstrosities”.

Our own tin pot Disney despot duly follows in these narcissistic footsteps. From Taco Bell on the bald knob to a promiscuous proliferation of anchors, spiced by incessant attacks on the poor, not to exclude gentrified alleys, full contact karaoke and the only municipal water park in the world with an offshore safe deposit box to keep the financials from prying eyes … a million bucks to desecrate a Native American site with a dog park, and coming soon, quadruple the functionary space for city hall so as to facilitate seceding from Floyd County and actually becoming the Veneer Salesman’s Republic of New Gahania --- and, of course, the inevitable dogs playing poker.

Let’s celebrate government by the worst, least qualified and most unscrupulous citizens with a Burrito Kakistocratio (no, not castrato) from the plummeting depths of Taco Hell’s commanding vantage point around the corner from the butt ugly bison, below the strip mine, where the storm water roams and the campaign finance report is not cloudy all day.

I’ll have mine with a side of Incensed (Jim) Rice -- light on the MSG, the HWC and the complete BS, please.

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Recent columns:

There was no column on May 31.

May 24: ON THE AVENUES: Long live Keg Liquors Fest of Ale, an indisputable annual beer institution.

May 17: ON THE AVENUES: Ghosts within these stones, defiance in these bones.

May 10: ON THE AVENUES: Seeing is believing.

May 3: ON THE AVENUES: Sadly, the Kentucky Derby no longer is decadent and depraved. It’s just another vacuous capitalist bait ‘n’ switch.