Friday, January 25, 2013

Kitchen Fable hostage crisis enters Day 13. Where the hell is Jimmy Carter?

Last week, we broke the heartbreaking story of the Kitchen Table Tissues blog forced to go into hiding owing to terrorist attacks on its entire linoleum-lined braintrust.

Katie bar the cellar -- it's gotta be a prelude to a pot bust.

Sources close to the crisis say that in a note to the outside world smuggled from Hughie’s in a half full Bud Light bottle, the besieged blog administrator now threatens to "get all high and shit" unless someone sits up and takes notice.

A spokesman from the Troglodyte Civil Liberties Union (TCLU) says that while his organization has not been asked to mediate the crisis, there is a strong case for blue-helmeted intervention:

These poor disenfranchised character assassins are being denied their sole venue to make ridiculous, illiterate assertions and boundless, trognonymous allegations against their betters. We believe Kitchen Fable should appeal to the Human Rights Commission. You arrogant New Albanian elitists do have an HRC, don’t you?

The spokesman declined to be identified.

1 comment:

Iamhoosier said...

"The spokesman declined to be identified."