Trognonymity, rewound: Tell me, who are you?

Life in New Albany is unremittingly bizarre, and so perhaps the past few days must be viewed as little more than the extension of a decade-long experiment aimed at discovering whether unreality is the only reality permitted hereabouts.

Those "phantoms of Facebook" have quite the pedigree -- right, Amy (Adams)?

News and Tribune bombshell: "Fake Facebook accounts linked to State Rep's wife."

After all, throughout the ten year history of this blog, we've observed the same oppositional habits and reactions again and again: Anonymity, fakery, subterfuge and elderly females posing as male college professors.

It was so common that we coined a phrase to describe it: Trognonymity.

While surprising, the past week's revelations mostly conjure a sense of déjà vu. Verily, we have all been here before. My pre-merger Tribune column ran for 2+ years, from 2009 through 2011, and in the on-line comments romper room of the period, I regularly was savaged by some of the very same commenters who've been outed as purely make-believe by Amanda Beam, Daniel Suddeath and Jerod Clapp. My own experiences merely add to the poignancy, but then, as now, my viewpoint on the matter has not changed. At the end of the day, anonymity = cowardice. Period.

In this encore of a 2009 column, the intrinsic tackiness of trognonymity is catalogued.

---

BEER MONEY: Tell me, who are you?

By ROGER BAYLOR
Local Columnist

Come now, let us reason together.
-- Lyndon Baines Johnson, by way of Isaiah 1:18

Tribune readers who’ve been coming here for a while will recall that during the 1980s, I was known to submit the stray letter to the editor. Someday I’ll delve into the bulging banker’s boxes stacked in my closet and unearth relevant fragments of those letter-to-the-editor archives, but for now just one example will suffice.

Around 1983, after writing a letter expressing principled opposition to President Ronald Reagan’s reactionary conservative excesses, I received a small, smudged envelope in the mail. There was no return address, only a New Albany postmark, and as those were the days before one studied suspicious packages for white powdered residue, I shrugged and opened it.

Crude, palsied handwriting on a small rectangle of unsigned spiral notebook paper came straight to the point:

Jesse the Revolutionary
Or Killer Kennedy
Who is your choice?

Imagine: Years before the advent of Internet forums and blogging, the first ever “trognonymous” (troglodyte + anonymous = trognonymous) note had arrived to brighten my day. Then, as now, it compelled me to reflect on the nature of cowardice, strengthening my belief that anonymity is an affliction borne of malice, one practiced by the chronically dysfunctional solely to exact vengeance on those they envy for having the integrity to stand openly behind their words, thoughts and opinions.

Duly inspired, a year later I became the only person in my rural precinct to vote for Jesse Jackson in the Democratic primary, and Teddy Kennedy remains a personal favorite. Now it is 2009, Barack Obama is in the White House, and this very column probably will inspire more submissions of unsigned proof that my anonymity position has and always will be correct.

Some things don’t change. That’s sad.

----

There was another factor precipitating my severe allergy to the abuses of anonymity. The Tribune’s eagerness at the time to print nameless letters to the editor engendered a recurring feeling of disgust. Most of these letters were vicious personal attacks on people whose identities were irrevocably public. It was disgraceful, and I spent uncounted years denouncing it.

Consequently, whatever small role my advocacy may have played in convincing the newspaper’s publisher to reverse the longstanding policy and require the identities of writers to be revealed is a source of great personal satisfaction to me.

To the Tribune’s credit, it made the right call, although the change came against the strenuous objections of the editor, who defended anonymity in much the same manner as some continue to attempt today (paraphrasing):

There are numerous times when adults eagerly embrace the opportunity to injudiciously and anonymously vent their anger and intemperance, and conversely, there are comparatively few instances when legitimate concerns like protection for whistle-blowers precludes the full disclosure of identity, and so the multitudinous former cases must be tolerated so as to provide rationale for the stunning infrequency of the latter cases.

Isn’t it patronizing to inform an adult that he or she isn’t sufficiently sophisticated to understand the rights and responsibilities of free speech, and therefore shall be permitted to spray anonymous attacks like diarrhea in the general direction of ideas and people that are detested?

Pandering in this fashion also precludes the very real possibility that even hidebound adults can learn if provided with reputable information and instruction. While it is true that informants and whistle-blowers might fear reprisal, the vast majority of anonymous letter writers and today’s masked Internet commentators have no such concern, and rather are exercising malice in “speaking out loud” without acknowledging responsible channels for doing so.

As the wag once said, we already have a Bill of Rights – now we need an accompanying Bill of Responsibilities. Free speech is a right, and it implies a responsibility. Although accumulated bile often stands squarely in the way of understanding these obligations, it doesn’t render them moot.

Rather, it illustrates their underlying truth even more vividly.

----

Sometimes nothing can be done, anonymously or otherwise. Two weeks ago a friend of many years announced, although regrettably not to my face, that he would be taking his “American money” elsewhere and severing personal ties with me because of my February 5 column accusing a negligent stork of dropping me on the wrong continent way back in 1960.

Granted, he’s rigidly conservative, and I’ll always be a pants-down social democrat. Yes, by the twisted practices of modern times, a strict ideological segregation must be maintained, but hasn’t anyone ever heard of the long friendship between Kennedy and Orrin Hatch?

Moreover, I retain numerous friends whose political views are somewhat to the right of Charlton Heston’s, and they’ve never shunned me or mine because of it. We vigorously discuss issues, debate them as fiercely, sometimes agree, and sometimes agree to disagree. Then we kick back and drink fine craft beer together, as it should be.

If I write something controversial -- and I fully intend to continue doing so -- isn’t the properly “American” response to emulate those three members of Reclaim Our Culture Kentuckiana (ROCK), who responded to my column three weeks ago by writing their own letters, stating their own views, signing their own names, and being part of the solution rather than part of the problem?

Remember, the gadfly’s chief objectives are promoting the exchange of ideas and furthering dialogue, which can’t happen when masks are donned, brickbats tossed or disappearances staged.

Is it Erika, or Erica, or Airikka? Is he or she it? Bigger than a Wal-Mart white bread basket?

Erika's back.

First, she scrutinizes the May primary ballot and offers LOCAL PRIMARY 2014 ENDORSEMENTS, and by her subterranean trognonymous standards, it isn't a bad showing: Only three misspellings of candidate names ...

A(e)bersold
Schellem(n)berger
Byerl(e)y

 ... and a sentence coming after the list, advising readers to vote for the "following" names. It just goes to show that when it comes to the choice between proofreading and unfiltered Camels, every day's a smoke break.

But there's more!

The ellipse is teasingly elongated in In WHO'S - WHO IN 2013...., and NAC's senior editor gets a special nod from a special educator.

Biggest Bully of 2013 - Roger Baylor

Yay for me. I'd like to thank the preschool academy ... but seriously, Erika, is it Gardner or Gardenour? Same person, right?

Is it Schellemberger, Schuellenberger or Schellenberger?

Do the spellings change according the case and gender, as in this foreign version of English you're using? Is it a patois? Are barnacles impeding your pathway through the syntax?

Shouldn't you be supporting Coffey against Seabrook, so as to remove him from your seat to ultimate power (and Versace handbags) in the 1st council district?

Will Auntie V take you with her when she moves to the Gulf?

So many questions; so very little interest.

Which one of us us the real Matt Nash?

This might well be the best column I've ever written.

NASH: A message to a ‘taxpayer’

... The “NA Taxpayer” goes on to say that “It’s one thing to have an opinion but it’s worse when you push an agenda that is not best for all citizens of New Albany.” I do not actually have an agenda that I am pushing on the subject, I just believe that for years we have tried to get people to leave New Albany as fast as they can. Maybe we should make it easier for them to stop and spend money.

One blogger out, another still looking for her shadow.

Erika's on the third floor warpath in defense of Big Ed, while a grateful city celebrates three Formica-free months. To paraphrase Groucho, why don't we all wear pants for a change?

Unless he or she or it is a Native American, this is even denser than usual.

On the heels of selecting a deceased man as one's of last year's prime community movers, Erika lowers the hilarity bar even further with a Valentine's Day attack on political correctness, the anonymous hooded non-professor courageously telling immigrants just to go on home ... and yet, as we know, nearly one hundred percent of her/his/its readers ooze from a lineage of -- that's right -- immigration.

Here's the link. Don't forget your HazMat apparatus.

Kitchen Fable hostage crisis enters Day 13. Where the hell is Jimmy Carter?

Last week, we broke the heartbreaking story of the Kitchen Table Tissues blog forced to go into hiding owing to terrorist attacks on its entire linoleum-lined braintrust.

Katie bar the cellar -- it's gotta be a prelude to a pot bust.

Sources close to the crisis say that in a note to the outside world smuggled from Hughie’s in a half full Bud Light bottle, the besieged blog administrator now threatens to "get all high and shit" unless someone sits up and takes notice.

A spokesman from the Troglodyte Civil Liberties Union (TCLU) says that while his organization has not been asked to mediate the crisis, there is a strong case for blue-helmeted intervention:

These poor disenfranchised character assassins are being denied their sole venue to make ridiculous, illiterate assertions and boundless, trognonymous allegations against their betters. We believe Kitchen Fable should appeal to the Human Rights Commission. You arrogant New Albanian elitists do have an HRC, don’t you?

The spokesman declined to be identified.

REWIND: Tell me, who are you? (February 26, 2009)

In this encore of a 2009 News and Tribune column, the intrinsic tackiness of trognonymity is catalogued.

---

BEER MONEY: Tell me, who are you?

By ROGER BAYLOR
Local Columnist

Come now, let us reason together.
-- Lyndon Baines Johnson, by way of Isaiah 1:18

Tribune readers who’ve been coming here for a while will recall that during the 1980s, I was known to submit the stray letter to the editor. Someday I’ll delve into the bulging banker’s boxes stacked in my closet and unearth relevant fragments of those letter-to-the-editor archives, but for now just one example will suffice.

Around 1983, after writing a letter expressing principled opposition to President Ronald Reagan’s reactionary conservative excesses, I received a small, smudged envelope in the mail. There was no return address, only a New Albany postmark, and as those were the days before one studied suspicious packages for white powdered residue, I shrugged and opened it.

Crude, palsied handwriting on a small rectangle of unsigned spiral notebook paper came straight to the point:

Jesse the Revolutionary
Or Killer Kennedy
Who is your choice?

Imagine: Years before the advent of Internet forums and blogging, the first ever “trognonymous” (troglodyte + anonymous = trognonymous) note had arrived to brighten my day. Then, as now, it compelled me to reflect on the nature of cowardice, strengthening my belief that anonymity is an affliction borne of malice, one practiced by the chronically dysfunctional solely to exact vengeance on those they envy for having the integrity to stand openly behind their words, thoughts and opinions.

Duly inspired, a year later I became the only person in my rural precinct to vote for Jesse Jackson in the Democratic primary, and Teddy Kennedy remains a personal favorite. Now it is 2009, Barack Obama is in the White House, and this very column probably will inspire more submissions of unsigned proof that my anonymity position has and always will be correct.

Some things don’t change. That’s sad.

----

There was another factor precipitating my severe allergy to the abuses of anonymity. The Tribune’s eagerness at the time to print nameless letters to the editor engendered a recurring feeling of disgust. Most of these letters were vicious personal attacks on people whose identities were irrevocably public. It was disgraceful, and I spent uncounted years denouncing it.

Consequently, whatever small role my advocacy may have played in convincing the newspaper’s publisher to reverse the longstanding policy and require the identities of writers to be revealed is a source of great personal satisfaction to me.

To the Tribune’s credit, it made the right call, although the change came against the strenuous objections of the editor, who defended anonymity in much the same manner as some continue to attempt today (paraphrasing):

There are numerous times when adults eagerly embrace the opportunity to injudiciously and anonymously vent their anger and intemperance, and conversely, there are comparatively few instances when legitimate concerns like protection for whistle-blowers precludes the full disclosure of identity, and so the multitudinous former cases must be tolerated so as to provide rationale for the stunning infrequency of the latter cases.

Isn’t it patronizing to inform an adult that he or she isn’t sufficiently sophisticated to understand the rights and responsibilities of free speech, and therefore shall be permitted to spray anonymous attacks like diarrhea in the general direction of ideas and people that are detested?

Pandering in this fashion also precludes the very real possibility that even hidebound adults can learn if provided with reputable information and instruction. While it is true that informants and whistle-blowers might fear reprisal, the vast majority of anonymous letter writers and today’s masked Internet commentators have no such concern, and rather are exercising malice in “speaking out loud” without acknowledging responsible channels for doing so.

As the wag once said, we already have a Bill of Rights – now we need an accompanying Bill of Responsibilities. Free speech is a right, and it implies a responsibility. Although accumulated bile often stands squarely in the way of understanding these obligations, it doesn’t render them moot.

Rather, it illustrates their underlying truth even more vividly.

----

Sometimes nothing can be done, anonymously or otherwise. Two weeks ago a friend of many years announced, although regrettably not to my face, that he would be taking his “American money” elsewhere and severing personal ties with me because of my February 5 column accusing a negligent stork of dropping me on the wrong continent way back in 1960.

Granted, he’s rigidly conservative, and I’ll always be a pants-down social democrat. Yes, by the twisted practices of modern times, a strict ideological segregation must be maintained, but hasn’t anyone ever heard of the long friendship between Kennedy and Orrin Hatch?

Moreover, I retain numerous friends whose political views are somewhat to the right of Charlton Heston’s, and they’ve never shunned me or mine because of it. We vigorously discuss issues, debate them as fiercely, sometimes agree, and sometimes agree to disagree. Then we kick back and drink fine craft beer together, as it should be.

If I write something controversial -- and I fully intend to continue doing so -- isn’t the properly “American” response to emulate those three members of Reclaim Our Culture Kentuckiana (ROCK), who responded to my column three weeks ago by writing their own letters, stating their own views, signing their own names, and being part of the solution rather than part of the problem?

Remember, the gadfly’s chief objectives are promoting the exchange of ideas and furthering dialogue, which can’t happen when masks are donned, brickbats tossed or disappearances staged.

REWIND: "A very special NA Confidential interview with Anonymous."

We go all the way back to May 30, 2005, to illustrate a certain inevitable axiom: The more things in New Albany change, the more its disaffected character assassins remain precisely the same. The following article represents the only occurrence, within more than 5,000 posts over eight years, of the word "polecat," and surely this must count for something? Spread your vittles on the kitchen table's weather-beaten, Depression-era linoleum, and enjoy this blast from the past ... er, present ... whatever.

---

"Anonymous” …

(a.k.a. legalbagle, smalltownusa, concern taxpayer, hometown girl, trucker buddy, proud democrat, redwhiteblue … etc., etc., ad nauseam; age, address, sex, political affiliation and very existence on planet earth completely unknown, and damned well intent on keeping it that way, because what would free speech be without invisibility?)

… has emerged as the foremost hooded Internet spokesperson for New Albany’s unreconstructed, flat-earth Luddites, known hereabouts as Brambleberries owing to the distinctive grazing preferences of Mustela putorius, the common polecat, which accepts a home range of a quarter mile, and is determined not to wander past these self-imposed boundaries.

"Anonymous" is the talk of the town.

Declining persistent NAC requests for a face-to-face interview, which “anonymous” finds even more threatening than progress itself, he or she consented to a far-reaching question and answer session.

To preserve the anonymity of “anonymous,” this groundbreaking interview was conducted utilizing rotary dial telephones, Morse code, smoke signals and carrier pigeons.

NA Confidential:
Thanks for not sitting down with us. You have expressed anonymous opposition to the Scribner Place development downtown, but a wide array of local business and civic leaders feel that Scribner Place is a good idea. Can you explain your position?

ANON:
Propertytaxsewercatastrophewastemayor’sSUV
bigmesswecan’tfolkscutthefatadultDVDjimmyyou
workforuslittlefolksburdenEDITthankgodforlaura
propertytaxlittlepeoplenewfangledparkingcriminal
conspiracygaragepointyheadsaaaaaaaaAAAARGGHHH …

NAC:In Richard Florida’s book, “Rise of the Creative Class,” the author theorizes that future economic development in cities like New Albany might derive from the presence of certain types of workers, who make employment choices according to non-traditional models that incorporate factors such as a community’s quality of life, its tolerance for multiculturalism, and proximity to recreational opportunities. Do you think New Albany has what it takes to prosper in this evolving economic system?

ANON:
Propertytaxsewercatastrophewastemayor’sSUV
bigmesswecan’tfolkscutthefatadultDVDjimmyyou
workforuslittlefolksburdenEDITthankgodforlaura
propertytaxlittlepeoplenewfangledparkingcriminal
conspiracygaragepointyheadsaaaaaaaaAAAARGGHHH …

NAC:
The French writer and political theorist Voltaire is said to have commented, “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Based on your comments at Speak Out Loud NA, would you say that you agree or disagree with Voltaire’s sentiments?

ANON:
Propertytaxsewercatastrophewastemayor’sSUV
bigmesswecan’tfolkscutthefatadultDVDjimmyyou
workforuslittlefolksburdenEDITthankgodforlaura
propertytaxlittlepeoplenewfangledparkingcriminal
conspiracygaragepointyheadsaaaaaaaaAAAARGGHHH …

NAC:Good nutrition and regular exercise are important aspects of one’s personal health and wellness goals. Does your family eat salad more than twice a week, or less than twice a week?

ANON:
Propertytaxsewercatastrophewastemayor’sSUV
bigmesswecan’tfolkscutthefatadultDVDjimmyyou
workforuslittlefolksburdenEDITthankgodforlaura
propertytaxlittlepeoplenewfangledparkingcriminal
conspiracygaragepointyheadsaaaaaaaaAAAARGGHHH …

NAC:
Okay, here’s an easier one: IU, U of L, or UK?

ANON:
Propertytaxsewercatastrophewastemayor’sSUV
bigmesswecan’tfolkscutthefatadultDVDjimmyyou
workforuslittlefolksburdenEDITthankgodforlaura
propertytaxlittlepeoplenewfangledparkingcriminal
conspiracygaragepointyheadsaaaaaaaaAAAARGGHHH …

NAC:
Thanks again for the, uh, chat … it really eased our minds.

ANNA and YVONNE:
What 3rd District Councilpuppet Steve Price really is trying to say is:

"Propertytaxsewercatastrophewastemayor’sSUV
bigmesswecan’tfolkscutthefatadultDVDjimmyyou
workforuslittlefolksburdenEDITthankgodforlaura
propertytaxlittlepeoplenewfangledparkingcriminal
conspiracygaragepointyheadsaaaaaaaaAAAARGGHHH."

Absolutely the best meal ever served on Formica.

It's working, guys. Here is a reply to my Tribune column of January 6, "A New Albanist’s Dictionary, Vol. 2." At 3,815 words, it is four times longer than the original essay. There is no title. Here's the link. Just one small complaint: You spelled "Weimar" incorrectly, even with cut and paste. Cheers.

---

THIS ARTICLE IS DEDICATED TO THE CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY. WE WANT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THE TRUE GIST OF WHAT OUR LOCAL COMMUNIST, ROGER BAYLOR, IS SAYING ABOUT ALL OF US WHO DO NOT AGREE WITH HIM AND DON'T RISE TO THE HEIGHTS OF GRANDEUR WHERE HE PLACES HIMSELF.

FIRST OFF, WHAT IS AN OPEN AIR MUSEUM: ACCORDING TO THE DICTIONARY AN OPEN AIR MUSEUM IS A DISTINCT TYPE OF MUSEUM EXHIBITING ITS COLLECTION OUT OF DOORS. WE CAN ONLY ASSUME THESE WORDS GRAVITATE TO HIS BRAIN WHEN HE IS ABLE TO BICYCLE AND CRUISE PAST LARRY KOCHERT'S HOUSE, STEVE PRICE'S HOUSE AND VICKI DENHART'S HOUSE. I'M NOT SURE WHY YOU WOULD BICYCLE THESE AREAS EXCEPT TO TRY AND GET ON THEIR NERVES OR AS AN INTIMIDATION FACTOR. (These are his words: Let’s begin the year with another revolving and evolving list of words, terms and concepts that provide a specialized vocabulary of life in the Open Air Museum. The first collection appeared Oct. 15, 2009.)

WHILE WE DO NOT BELIEVE MR. BAYLOR'S INTENTIONS ARE MEANT TO HONESTLY EDUCATE THE PEOPLE OF NEW ALBANY BUT RATHER TO CRITICIZE, MAKE FUN OF (AND I DO THINK HE THINKS HE IS HYSTERICALLY FUNNY), THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT HELPS DEFINE THE STUNNING DEPTHS OF THE NEW ALBANIAN ZEITGEIST (ZEIGEIST SIMPLY MEANS THE GENERAL INTELLECTUAL, MORAL, AND CULTURAL CLIMATE OF A GENERATION). I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT HE IN NO WAY DEFINES MY INTELLECTUAL CAPACITIES, NOR MY MORALS, NOR DOES HE HAVE RIGHT TO PASS JUDGEMENT ON ANY ONE'S CULTURAL APTITUDES. THE BAD THING IS HE THINKS HE HAS EVERY RIGHT. (These are Baylor's words: It is my earnest goal to periodically refresh and expand this list, and your assistance is requested in doing so. Please send corrections, additions and comments to istanbul85@yahoo.com, and help define the forever stunning depths of the New Albanian zeitgeist.)

A MAJORITY OF CITIZENS TRULY FEEL NEW ALBANY DOES NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER OUR BUDGET MONIES AND THE ENGLAND ADMINISTRATION IS CONSTANTLY THREATENING THE CITIZENS BY THE FOLLOWING SOUND BITES: "Turn your cable off so you can pay your new increased sewer bills." "I'm going to cut back on cleaning snow and ice from the street rather than renegotiate the police and fire contracts who are taking 83% of our budget." IF WE CAN NOT TAKE CARE OF WHAT WE HAVE NOW WHY IN THE HEY WOULD WE WANT TO ANNEX ANYMORE PROPERTIES OR LAND UNLESS THE PLAN IS TO TRY AND RAISE OUR TAX LEVY AS JEFFERSONVILLE TRIED. UNFORTUNATELY, ANNEXATION DID PASS BUT NO ONE CRIED. (Here are Baylor's words: Annexation A wonderful thing to do, so long as you neither complete nor use it until long after the current council’s sell-by date.) ARE WE USING IT YET MR. BAYLOR?

THE NEXT WORD BAYLOR USES IS THE AXIS OF BANAL. ANY DEFINITION I FOUND REFERS TO THE AXIS OF BANAL BEING THE SAME AS THE AXIS OF EVIL. REGULARLY HE TORE THE FORMER COUNCIL MEMBERS UP, I.E., KOCHERT, SCHMIDT ETC., (EVEN BURNING EFFIGIES OF THEM BEFORE A MEETING ONE NIGHT), BUT THESE ARE HIS WORDS (THOUGH I CAN'T DECIDE IF HE MEANS CAESAR, ZURSCHMEIDE, MCGLAUGHLIN, MESSER, OR BENEDETTI, OR JUST WHO CONJOINS WITH PRICE AND COFFEE). (Here are Baylor's words: Axis of Banal The Steve Price/Dan Coffey conjoined city council obstruction club, usually with anywhere from one to seven other members quite eager to make it into a threesome.)


OF COURSE, BAYLOR'S LIST WOULDN'T BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A PAT ON HIS BACK ABOUT HE BEING ABLE TO BICYCLE AND I GUESS HE FEELS THIS MAY BE THE NAME ATTRIBUTED BY US NEW ALBANIANS BECAUSE OF HIS EXERCISE. THE TROGLODYTES HE LABELS ALL NEW ALBANIANS BY DEFINITION MEANS CAVEMAN, MEMBERS OF A PRIMITIVE RACE OR PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN CAVES. I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT ONE OF THOSE AND EVERYONE IN NEW ALBANY WOULD AGREE WITH ME ON THIS ISSUE, BUT... (Here are Baylor's words: Bike boy Term of affection used by anonymous troglodytes to describe anyone who rides more miles on a bicycle in a given day than they’re capable of doing in a year). HE DOTH THINK SO HIGHLY OF HIMSELF AND SO LITTLE OF THE REST OF THE CITIZENS IN OUR FAIR TOWN.


BLUE LAWS WERE PUT INTO LEGISLATION BY THE STATE OF INDIANA. I, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, CAN NOT FIGURE OUT (WHETHER I LIKE COFFEY OR NOT, HOW HE CAN LAY HIS WANTING TO SELL CARRY OUT BEER ON SUNDAY AT COFFEY'S FEET), BUT HERE ARE HIS WORDS: (Here are Baylor's words: Blue Laws Sunday retail sales restrictions lovingly fetishized (no such word) by Councilman Cappuccino, implying the restoration of rotary dial telephones, one-piece bathing suits, asbestos insulation and mail delivered by Pony Express.) I WOULD GUESS HE REALLY HATES BOSTON WHERE BLUE LAWS ARE STILL IN EFFECT AND YOU CAN NOT EVEN SHOP ON SUNDAY. BUT THEN AGAIN, HE DOES HAVE A HANGUP WITH RELIGION.


RATHER THAN USING HIS WIDE BRUSH STROKE TO PAINT ALL CITIZENS NOT DOING RIGHT BY NOT BUYING LOCAL (WHICH A LOT OF US DO) HE HAS TO TAKE A SWIPE EVEN WHERE PEOPLE GAS UP THEIR CARS. WHAT HE FAILS TO DO IN HIS ARTICLE IS TO LIST THE GAS STATIONS WHO ARE LOCAL. TO ME, THAT WOULD HAVE REQUIRED TOO MUCH WORK ON HIS PART. (Here are Baylor's words: Buy Local Saving gas by shopping at the mega-chain retailer nearest one’s house.) CAN WE GET SOME ONE TO TELL US WHERE HE GASES UP?

THE DEFINITION OF A CAUCUS MEANS A GROUP OF POLITICIANS WHO GET TOGETHER AND SELECT THEIR CANDIDATES. THERE WAS ONE ILLEGAL MEETING WHERE A MAJORITY OF COUNCIL GOT TOGETHER IN A BAR BUT NOTHING EVER CAME FROM IT. WE CAN ONLY ASSUME THIS SITUATION IS WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT AT THE SAME TIME, THEY WERE ALL HIS BUDDIES: (Here are Baylor's words: Caucus A city council meeting that isn’t, as attended only by those council members who won’t admit aloud to being Republican, as opposed to the single one who will. Quorum due to expire in November, 2011.) DO YOU KNOW, AS I DO, WHO IS A DEMOCRAT ON THE CURRENT COUNCIL, WHO IS A REPUBLICAN AND WHO WAFFLES BETWEEN? I DO BUT I GUESS HE DOES NOT.

THERE HAS BEEN A POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE FORMED IN NEW ALBANY, JOINED BY HUNDREDS, BOTH DEMOCRAT AND REPUBLICAN. LEGAL PAPERS AND MONIES AND REPORTING RECORDS ARE FILED IN THE FLOYD COUNTY CLERK'S OFFICE. THE PAC IS CALLED CITIZENS FOR ACCOUNTABILITY. A VOTE WAS HELD BY MEMBERS (I WAS THERE) AND MS. VICKI DENHART WAS ELECTED THE PRESIDENT. IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING WHICH SETS MR. BAYLOR'S BLOOD BOILING BECAUSE HE CANNOT FIND OUT WHO BELONGS TO THIS PAC, JUST MENTION CITIZENS FOR ACCOUNTABILITY. I HAVE A FEELING; NO, I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE; WHEN HE DOES FIND OUT IT WILL BE TOO LATE FOR HIM AND HE AND THE POWERS TO BE WHO DON'T WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND THEY WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT THEM COME ELECTION TIME! (Here are Baylor's words: Citizens Faux Accountability Hillary Clinton fan club, run by a chain smoker from a post office box near a Gucci outlet somewhere in Italy.) I BET HE WISHES THAT WAS/IS THE CASE.

THEN, HE TAKES A SWIPE AT TEACHERS TRYING TO BRING STUDENTS IN TO COUNCIL MEETINGS FOR A LESSON IN CIVICS. AS A TEACHER WHO HAVE BROUGHT MY OWN STUDENTS IN FOR COUNCIL MEETINGS I NEVER EXPECTED THEM TO UNDERSTAND THE SUBJECTS AT HAND, SIMPLY TO GRASP A FEELING OF HOW, IN GENERAL, PEOPLE GATHER AND VOTE. (Here are Baylor's words: City Council Place where the high school civics class kids are obliged to go ... for detention. (DS)) HE LEFT OUT THE BOY SCOUTS AND OTHER ORGANIZATIONS WHO ATTEND. MUST HAVE BEEN SHORT ON COLUMN SPACE THAT DAY.

AND, A LIFE IN THE DAY OF BAYLOR WOULD NO BE COMPLETE WITHOUT WHAT I CONSIDER HIS ASININE RAVINGS ABOUT ED CLERE. BAYLOR DOES NOT HAVE THE NERVE, THE MONEY, NOR THE WHEREWITHAL TO EVEN CONSIDER RUNNING FOR PUBLIC OFFICE. BUT BY GOSH, IF YOU ARE AND DO AND WIN, YOU HAD BEST DROP EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING FOR ALL THE PEOPLE AND ANSWER TO HIS WHIM, IMMEDIATELY! OR, YOU TOO, WILL BE SUBJECT TO THE RIDICULE THE ENTIRE TOWN CAN NOT ESCAPE. (Here are Baylor's words: Clere Channel Network Where communication is a one-way street, and the street has no name.)

BEING A CONSERVATIVE DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN YOU ARE A DEMOCRAT OR A REPUBLICAN IN MY EYES. I KNOW LIBERAL PUBS AND LIBERAL DEMS AND CONSERVATIVE PUBS AND CONSERVATIVE DEMS. THE ENTIRE COUNTRY IS IN DIRE NEED OF THE CONSERVATION OF OUR MONIES AS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PUBLIC SERVANTS AND ENTIRE GOVERNMENTS ARE LOSING THEIR JOBS. MR. BAYLOR DOES NOT BELIEVE IN BEING CONSERVATIVE WHEN IT COMES TO OUR MONEY. NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT HIS RHYME OR REASON FOR WANTING TO SPEND, SPEND, SPEND. IN HIS WORDS WHICH FOLLOW, PLEASE ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE MEANS BY ATTILA THE HUN. HE WAS THE MOST SUCCESSFUL BARBARIAN INVADER AND ALSO CONSIDERED UNGODLY. (NO SURPRISE THERE.) THE WIEMAR PART IS WHERE GERMANY ESTABLISHED AN IMPERIAL FORM OF GOVERNMENT WHICH EVENTUALLY LED TO THE RISE OF ADOLPH HITLER (NO SURPRISE THERE, EITHER). THE BIRDSEYE BLUES MEANS TO THINK FROM AN ELEVATED STATE HIGH ABOVE THE REST OF THE CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY. (Here are Baylor's words: Conservatism Political trait that Floyd County Democrats typically claim to possess to a greater degree than their Republican rivals, who themselves are somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun, leaving the remainder of us stuck inside of Wiemar with the Birdseye blues again.)

THE NEXT PARAGRAPH HE WRITES WRAPS A BLANKET AROUND ANY DISCUSSIONS, ANY DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW, AND OR OPPOSITION OCCURRING DURING CITY COUNCIL MEETINGS AND ARE SELF-EXPLANATORY (BELIEVE IT OR NOT). (These are Baylor's words: Controversy The insertion of rationality, usually unintentional, into a given political discussion during city council meetings.) OBVIOUSLY NONE OF THE AFOREMENTIONED ACTIONS ARE ALLOWED UNDER HIS COMMUNISTIC OUTLOOK.

HIS NEXT STATEMENT IS ALSO HIS ATTEMPT TO BE CUTE AND TO CONTINUE HIS RIDICULE OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE WHO STRIKES HIS FANCY. (These are Baylor's words: Discussion At city council, any stray verbiage randomly issued as a means to avoid contemplation of the actual issue(s) at hand.) I FEEL BAYLOR WANTS AND NEEDS TOTALITARIAN RULE OR NO RULE AT ALL (PART OF THAT COMMUNIST THING/IDEALS).

THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF NEW BUSINESSES LOCATING DOWNTOWN AND A LARGE GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE TIME, ENERGY, AND MONEY INVESTED. THIS NEXT STATEMENT IS HOW HE FEELS THE CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY THINK ABOUT THESE EFFORTS. (These are Baylor's words: Cracker Barrel Long-awaited Nirvana for downtown revitalization advocates who really don’t understand downtown revitalization at all.) DOES IT INFURIATE YOU AS MUCH AS ME AND MINE HOW SHORT HE SELLS THE CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY WHO ARE TRYING THEIR DARNDEST TO SUCCEED?

MR. BAYLOR TRIES TO MISLEAD THE PUBLIC IN HIS NEXT STATEMENT ABOUT EDIT. THE MAYOR DECIDES WHERE HE WANTS ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT TO OCCUR AND THEN COMES TO THE COUNCIL FOR THE MONIES. UNFORTUNATELY FOR CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY, THE MAYOR AT ONE TIME WAS FOUND TO HAVE BOUGHT PERSONAL SUITS OUT OF EDIT. THERE HAS RECENTLY BEEN LEGISLATION TRYING TO GET FUNDS, EVEN IF THEY ARE FROM EDIT, TO GET OUR CITY OUT OF THE HOLE. NO, BAYLOR DOESN'T SEE IT THIS WAY (NOR THAT WAY) AND HAS MORE TO GRIPE ABOUT. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: EDIT Crucial economic development monies designed to remain inert until needed by office holders as penny-wise, pound-foolish subsidies, rather than economic development monies.) DIDN'T HIS PATIO COME OUT OF EDIT? MAYBE I'M GENERALIZING LIKE HIM. HEAVEN FORBID.

MR. BAYLOR ALSO TRIES TO RIDE HERD ON ALL BLOGS MAINTAINING YOU MAY BE THE WORST OF THE WORST IF YOU DO NOT PUT YOUR NAME TO OPINIONS YOU MAY HAVE. TO A LOT OF PEOPLE IT IS SIMPLY HIS DESIRE TO CONTROL SPEECH AND TO LAMBASTE ANYONE WHO DOES NOT AGREE WITH HIS THOUGHTS. AS LEGAL BEAGLE PUTS IT, HE IS A COWARD BEHIND A KEYBOARD AND A CYBER BULLY. I AGREE. THERE ARE FOUR BLOGS IN NEW ALBANY. NEW VOICE OF THE PEOPLE (WHO REVIEW COMMENTS BEFORE BEING PUBLISHED); CITY OF NEW ALBANY (WHO DEMANDS YOUR NAME); FREEDOMOFSPEECH (WHICH DOES NOT ALLOW COMMENTS OF ANY KIND); AND KITCHENTABLEISSUES (WHERE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR NAME). WELL, IF YOU GO ANONYMOUS ON TWO OF THE BLOGS WHO ALLOW SAME YOU ARE A NO GOOD ROTTEN SO AND SO. JUST ASK MR. BAYLOR. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Freedom of Speech 1. Local blog that does not allow reader comments 2. Condition that applies to you but not the person with whom you disagree.) NO ONE AGREES WITH EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME, DUH.

THIS NEXT DEFINITION, AS BAYLOR CALLS IT, IS HANDICAPPING. THIS SEEMS TO BE ANOTHER ATTEMPT ON HIS PART TO SIMPLY BE CUTE: (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Handicapping A New Albany voter’s perpetual calculation: Is an incorruptible politician who is wrong 100 percent of the time better or worse than a corruptible politician who is right half the time?) YEAH, I THINK I WANT INCORRUPTIBLE POLITICIANS THOUGH THE GOOD LORD KNOWS THEY ARE HARD TO FIND.

WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPY HOUR IS (WHOOPPEE). BUT, THIS SENTENCE SHOULD SERVE TO REMIND ALL READERS HOW MR. BAYLOR DOES BRING HIS FLASK IN AND IS USUALLY SLAP HAPPY WHILE OBSERVING COUNCIL MEETINGS (ALONG WITH HIS BUDDIES). (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Happy Hour 60 affectionate minutes with your hip flask before the council meeting starts.)

THE HISTORICAL PRESERVATION COMMISSION IS SOMETHING MOST OF US AGREE ON. WHERE WE MAY DISAGREE IS THE FACT SOME HOUSES ARE PAST BEING PRESERVED AND A WASTE OF TIME AND GOOD MONEY. RATHER THAN GOING AFTER THE ADMINISTRATION WHO ALLOWED THESE PROPERTIES TO FALL DOWN INTO DISREPAIR AND DID NOTHING UNTIL PRIVATE CITIZENS HELPED FORM THIS GROUP BAYLOR TENDS TO SIMPLY LAMBASTE CITIZENS WITH NO CREDIT GIVEN TO THE ONES WHO HAVE FOUGHT FOR CODE ENFORCEMENT FOR OVER 20 YEARS. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Historical Preservation Commission Power-hungry zealots who refuse to admit that the rental property you’ve chronically neglected for decades merely is a dilapidated building suitable only for tenants.)

SOME PEOPLE FEEL THE HISTORICAL PRESERVATION COMMITTEE SHOULD CONSIST OF ELECTED OFFICIALS (NOT POLITICAL APPOINTEES ON POWER TRIPS) HAS BAYLOR FEELING AND WRITING THE FOLLOWING (WHAT I ASSUME AGAIN HE CONSIDERS CUTE) WORDS: (This is Mr. Baylor's words: Infinite Monkey Theorem Expression of mathematical probability suggesting that if given enough time, an ape typing at random would eventually write Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” — or an ordinance outlawing the Historical Preservation Commission.)

I WOULD GUESS THE WHOLE TOWN KNOWS OF MR. BAYLOR'S AVERSION TO LARRY KOCHERT. AND, I WOULD ASSUME THE WHOLE TOWN KNOWS OF MR. KOCHERT'S AVERSION TO MR. BAYLOR. TO THIS DAY, AFTER FOUR YEARS, MR. BAYLOR STILL FEELS THE NEED TO RUN MR. KOCHERT DOWN ANY CHANCE HE GETS. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Leotards Skin-tight leg wraps that threaten the fragile masculinity of a former Gang of Four council stalwart; also called “tights,” as in, “Let’s all get tights, and vote in my garage for a change.”) WHAT MR. BAYLOR MAY NOT UNDERSTAND IS WHAT THE REST OF THE PEOPLE THINK ABOUT HIM, HA HA HA.

SINCE MR. BAYLOR CONSIDERS HIMSELF A FLOYD COUNTY SNOB AND THE CITY OF NEW ALBANY IS BENEATH HIM (WHILE FOR THE LIFE OF ME I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE WANTS OUR MONEY AND THINK WE CARE WHAT HE THINKS -- HERE ARE HIS WORDS SUMMING UP THE TRUE MEANING OF A FLOYD COUNTY SNOB: (These are Mr. Baylor's words: New Albany Bicentennial A time for remembering what it was like in 1813, and for accepting that we’re mostly still there.) NEW ALBANY HAS COME A LONG WAY BABY, WITHOUT YOUR HELP, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

THE NEXT SHOT IS AGAIN AIMED AT THE CITIZENS AND THEIR ELECTED COUNCIL REPRESENTATIVES AND HOW WE CAN NEVER EVER POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND WHY THE OLD NEW ALBANY BREAD STORE GOT A BEER MONUMENT PLACED IN FRONT OF BAYLOR'S BUSINESS. MOST OF US FEEL THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A LOAF OF BREAD PUT THERE. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: New Albany Bicentennial Public Art Project Placements of art intended for the edification of the common man, consequently eluding the comprehension of the council members whose downtown districts house them.)

THESE NEXT WORDS, AGAIN, INSINUATE HOW ALL CITIZENS OF NEW ALBANY ARE IGNORANT, SUPERSTITIOUS AND BACKWARDS. HOW LONG DOES HE THINK HE CAN KEEP INSULTING THE GOOD PEOPLE OF NEW ALBANY? (These are Mr. Baylor's words:
Open Air Museum of Ignorance, Superstition and Backwardness 1. Citywide folkways theme park devoted to the reality of life in New Albany: “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” 2. “Give us more fish. Don’t you dare teach us how to fish.” 3. Place where tolls (in squandered modernity) already are being collected.)

THE NEIGHBORHOOD PARKING PERMIT ISSUE WAS BROUGHT BY A CITIZEN IN NEW ALBANY (DOES MR. BULLEIT KNOW ABOUT THIS) AND THESE WORDS ARE SIMPLY A MOCKERY OF SAME, WHETHER ANY OF US AGREED OR DISAGREED WITH THE LEGISLATION (WHICH I DIDN'T). (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Neighborhood Parking Permit
A plan to surrender public street space for private use, to appease private property owners who are unwilling to give up their own privately held property for the exact same purpose (JG).)

ANOTHER BURR UNDER BAYLOR'S SADDLE IS ONE SOUTHERN INDIANA. WE DON'T LIKE THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE NOR APPROVE OF THEIR METHODS AND THEIR INTENT ON GETTING TOLLS, BUT WE ARE SO TIRED OF HIM GOING ON AND ON ABOUT 1SI, CLERE, ETC. DO YOU THINK HE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH HE REPEATS AND HOW TIRESOME IT BECOMES? I DON'T THINK SO. ANYWAY. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: One Southern Indiana 1. Organization dedicated to preserving the wealth of its highest-standing members by erecting a wall running the length of the Ohio River. 2. Synonym for “blatant hypocrisy.”)

THE NEXT DESCRIPTION OF WORDS REFLECTS HOW MUCH HE DOES DRINK AND HOW MUCH HE HATES IT WHEN HE RUNS OUT OF LIQUOR AT COUNCIL MEETINGS: (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Post-Partum Depression Your empty flask after the council meeting.) SEEING IT IS STILL IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO HAVE A BABY, I GUESS HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT A SERIOUS ILLNESS POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION IS NOR HOW MANY PEOPLE HE MAY HAVE OFFENDED COMPARING THIS ILLNESS TO AN EMPTY FLASK OF LIQUOR.

THERE ARE NUMEROUS CITIZENS AND CHRISTIANS WHO DECRIED AN OPENING OF A PORN SHOP ACROSS FROM A CHURCH AND AT A SCHOOL BUS STOP. BUT, WITH MR. BAYLOR'S SELF PROCLAIMED HEDONISTIC WAYS WE CAN UNDERSTAND HIS FEELINGS ON THE FOLLOWING. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Reclaim Our Culture Kentuckiana (ROCK) Group suffering from a chronic allergy to 2010 calendars, and seeking the curative measure of “reclaiming” things they cannot define, because those things never existed. See also: Torquemada Twist, Wickensianism (no such word).)

AGAIN, WE ALL KNOW HOW MR. BAYLOR FEELS ABOUT GOVERNOR DANIELS. WE MAY OR MAY NOT LIKE HIM EITHER, OR MAY NOT LIKE SOME LEGISLATION, BUT BAYLOR DOES GO ON AND ON. THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF ISSUES OR PEOPLE I HAVE VOTED FOR TO NO AVAIL BUT BY GOSH I AM ABLE TO MOVE ON. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Saint Daniels The reason why we have incense, prayer, One Southern Indiana, charter schools and bridge tolls.)

WHEN THE LOCAL SCHOOL SYSTEM ROLLED OUT THE 60 MILLION DOLLAR BOND ISSUES A LOT OF GOOD CITIZENS FOUGHT THIS ISSUE ESPECIALLY WHEN IT WAS PUT ON OUR BACKS WITH PROPERTY TAXES. SOME OF US STILL MAINTAIN THIS IS WHY LOCAL SCHOOLS WERE CLOSED AND WAS NOT DUE TO MR. CLERE BUT LIES ON THE BACK OF OUR THEN UNELECTED SCHOOL BOARD. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: School closings 1. Rituals of solemn necessity preceding a pay increase for an impoverished superintendent.
2. A heaven-sent occasion for conniving school board members, often Republicans, to plot their next political campaigns. 3. An atrocity that Superman (R-72) curiously missed.)

THE ONGOING SEWER FIASCO IN NEW ALBANY WHERE HOUSES AND BUSINESSES ARE STILL NOT BEING SERVED HAD TWO PEOPLE WHO ATTENDED EVERY SEWER BOARD MEETING AND SPENT UNTOLD HOURS TRYING TO BRING NEW ALBANY INTO A CLEAN ENVIRONMENT. THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT SENDING SEWAGE DOWN PAST THE MAYOR'S HOUSE AS THE SEWERS LITERALLY WERE/ARE STILL GOING INTO THE OHIO RIVER. BUT, MR. BAYLOR'S WORDS ARE SIMPLY SELF-SERVING AND SHOWS HIS LACK OF RESPECT FOR OUR NATURAL RESOURCES AND THE POLLUTION THIS CITY ADDS TO THE OHIO RIVER. SIMPLY ANOTHER WAY TO GET HIS ROCKS OFF AT OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPENSE. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Sewergeddon The Potty Police’s plan to employ diggers and reclaim the city’s culture by flushing raw sewage through street-side ditches past the mayor’s house, at a fraction of the cost of conventional sewage treatment.) HE MUST NOT HAVE BEEN AROUND WHEN THE SEWAGE WAS RUNNING PAST RESIDENTS HOMES AND ALL OF THE HOUSES ON MAIN STREET WENT DIRECTLY INTO THE OHIO RIVER AFTER RESIDENTS RECEIVED SEWER BILLS FOR TWENTY YEARS. ISN'T THAT MAIL FRAUD - RECEIVING A BILL FOR SERVICES NOT RENDERED? DOES HE CARE? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. HE'S THE JOKE.

AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, STEVE PRICE. MR. BAYLOR WILL BE GLAD TO HEAR THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS WHO WANT TO RUN AGAINST MR. PRICE IN THE UPCOMING ELECTION BECAUSE THEY LIKE HIM. IF I COULD THINK OF ONE THING MR. PRICE VOTED NO ON THAT IMPEDED MR. BAYLOR'S AGENDA MAYBE I COULD GO THERE. BUT, THE ADMINISTRATION'S AGENDA (ENGLAND'S) HAS ALWAYS TRIUMPHED AND TO HELL WITH THE BUDGETS, OVER STAFFING, WASTE OF THE MONEY, ETC. JUST KEEP SAYING NO, STEVE. WE STAND BEHIND YOU. (These are Mr. Baylor's words: Steve Price Synonym for “no,” spoken in Dewey Heights dialect. ) BY THE WAY, A LOT OF GOOD PEOPLE WERE BORN AND RAISED IN THE DEWEY HEIGHTS DISTRICT AND YOU REALLY DO ALL A DISSERVICE.

NEXT???? SORRY FOR THE LONG POST, BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH AN EGO MANIAC (MY DESCRIPTION).

I WOULD GO TO GREAT LENGTHS TO FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO NOT BELIEVE IN OUR GOOD LORD AND RELIGION, BUT TO HAVE YOU POST IN AN ARTICLE YOU WANTED US ALL TO PRAY FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO LIFT THOSE KEGS SO YOU CAN MAKE MONEY REALLY TICKED ME OFF. BUT, THIS SIMPLY MADE ME PRAY HARDER FOR YOU, NOT THEM.

Y A W N

Posted by What'sThat? at 2:32 AM
Labels: COMMUNISM, EGO MANIACS

Just as an FYI.

I know that it disappoints some blog readers when I stoop to caress the little people. If you're one of them, perhaps you'd like to stop here.

Long ago, the Tribune permitted letters to the editor with “name withheld by request," and naturally, most such letters were nasty, unforgivable personal attacks.

During the unfortunate period into the Nineties when Eddie Laduke spectacularly verified the Peter Principle by serving as the Tribune’s editor – itself a phenomenon that surely ranks as the nadir of intellectual attainment in this city – he regularly defended the practice in terms similar to those used by our spiteful troglodytes of the Noughts (paraphrased):

“But no one’s willing to call his or her boss a son of a bitch in print without an anonymity clause.”

So it goes. Time passes, the world keeps changing, but as both Laduke then and Steve Price now aptly illustrate, small provincial minds proliferate forever, and hooded personal attacks still are nowhere close to the same thing as “whistle blowing” and other such exculpatory nonsense.

What’s most interesting is the identity of the person during my formative years who taught me right from wrong in this context, because it was my father who was invariably outraged when one of those “name withheld” letters appeared – even if he agreed with the particular sentiments expressed.

If he was feeling okay with the world, the anonymite was simply a “coward,” but if he’d been having a hard day, the full repertoire of colorful adjectives and adverbs gleaned from three years’ service in the Marine Corps in WWII would be unleashed on the offender. The message (expletives deleted) my dad gave me never varied: If you’re not man enough to stand behind it, then keep your mouth shut.

It is a lesson I’ve not forgotten, and so anyone reading this who actually knew my father personally, and who really thinks he’d be “rolling in his grave” at the way his son conducts his life and work – anyone whose pen name throughout somehow remains “anonymous” – is so utterly allergic to irony that he or she is beyond redemption. Lies are another matter, but I think you get my drift.

I’ll give you a tip, anonymous: Keep some of your powder dry, because next week, your blood pressure’s going up. Way, way up. Have a warm, sunny weekend. Time to break out the biking shorts, don’t you think?

Hooray! FOS comes out against bridge tolls!

I see that Freedom of Speech has joined NA Confidential in denouncing tolls on existing bridges as part of the Ohio River Bridges project boondoggle.

"Freedom Of Speech supports "NO" toll fees."

That's heartening. There were some other odd remarks about heroic leadership from the pseudonymous author who doesn't tolerate reader comments, but why quibble over details during an historic moment? Perhaps we'll be marching together soon, icons of St. Hillary jangling around our necks, and Progressive Pints in our hands.

Support your local winnery, er, winery -- unless you're a troglodyte character assassin, that is.

Enjoy the following comment exchange on another recently constituted "mad as hell citizen" blog, or in other words, a forum for disgruntled naysayers to vent toward others the bile they harbor about their own congenital irrelevance in the cosmic scheme of things.

Anonymous said...
Another one bits the dust. "The Winnery" is the next bar to close. I was told by the Humphrey's they will be closing soon. U celebrate the day Bank Street Brewhouse goes how about the rest of you?
August 21, 2010 2:24 PM

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The New Albanian said...
Where's the Winnery? Can losers go there, or just winners? If winners, then you may be out of luck, anonymous -- again.

Happy to see you pulling for small business. Hopefully your Wal-Mart stock will see you through until you learn to spell.
August 21, 2010 6:11 PM

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Anonymous (the Humphreys) said...
I'll assume Anonymous is talking about the "winery" as in River City Winery. As a note, RCW is not a bar. But if there is such a term "Winnery" that would describe us well. We just won 11 medals in the Indy International Wine Competition including a Double Gold for Pomegranate Blueberry. We also just won the right to include ourselves on a very short list known as "INDIANA ARTISANS" There are less than 150 in the whole state. Not sure who Anonymous is but he or she is an obvious liar. They didn't hear anything of the sort from us. Business couldn't be better. In fact, we're looking to expand.-----The Humphreys
August 21, 2010 9:24 PM

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Anonymous (the Humphreys) said...
I've never respected nor do I take seriously others that blog anonymously. Mr. Anonymous, I offer you three tips:

1. Please educate yourself with the facts before you blog about my business downtown. If you have questions about the "WINERY" I'm there Tuesday through Sunday and would be more than happy to meet with you. I'm not sure what Humphrey you spoke to, but I assure you it wasn't the owners of River City Winery.

2. Use spell check next time you blog.

3. Take a grammar class. The plural form of Humphrey is Humphreys. Humphrey's, as you wrote, shows possession.
August 21, 2010 10:19 PM

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Anonymous said...
I was in the bookstore the other day at 6:55 and the manager told me they were closing soon. Sure enough, at 7 o'clock they kicked me out and locked the door.
August 22, 2010 8:07 AM

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The New Albanian said...
It's just a perpetual giggle for me when the social misfits courageously lie from behind their aliases, and then disappear back under their rocks when their bluffs are called. I'm about to close, too -- the lid on the toilet, so I can flush troglodyte lies with grace and confidence.
August 22, 2010 8:17 AM

My visit to PassiveAggressiveLand.

(It’s a non-revitalized neighborhood of the Open Air Museum)

Normally I wouldn’t do this, but this time I will, primarily because it’s been a wonderful weekend.

An anonymous writing critic spewed at Voice of the People, and I responded, although not to the critic’s satisfaction. The topic is my column in Thursday’s Tribune: BAYLOR: Long ago in Slovakia.

Seeing as teeth marks from a hooded canine wannabeen remain imbedded in the denim of my jeans, here’s the “dialogue” to date.

Anonymous said...
What does being an Atheist have anything to do with St. Nicholas day or having Germanic heritage in a Slavic nation? What was the point or the need for that information? What was the author getting at? The column would have been a very good one if wasn’t for the first two paragraphs. It would have been par with the one about Armistice Day.

Roger said …
St. Nicholas Day is on the 6th. The column was published on the 3rd, hence (a) the topical reference to St. Nicholas in the intro, and (b) the fact that it also was mentioned in the text about Slovakia.

Anonymous said …
I sorry but your response doesn't answer any of my questions sufficiently. They are just oblique answers. The intro was irreverent or not necessary.

Roger said …
Shrug. I got paid to write it, and you didn't. 'Nuff said, hooded one.

Anonymous said …
I think the questions are viable. You have accused others of making irrelevant comments etc. What does being an Atheist have anything to do with St. Nicolas Day? What relevance did it have to do with the story? How is being paid, to write in the Tribs editorial section, have anything to do with explaining the relevancy of being an Atheist and St. Nicolas Day. If you are paid shouldn’t your column be of the highest quality of writing? The Trib will print just about any person’s letters or allow anyone to be a guest columnist when they make you a staff reporter or editor then you may have something to brag about. And yes, I do read your column along with others please help me understand yours better.

Roger said …
I suspect I'll eventually address your "questions," probably at NAC, but not here.

What is the one thing held in common by each of the roles you cite, from letter writer to columnist, and including editors and reporters?

They all sign their names to their work. Consequently, I'm not interested in a serious conversation with passive/aggressive anonymous folks like you. Create whatever rationalizations or excuses you like for anonymity -- indulge yourself and be creative -- but it doesn't imply that I have any responsibility to cooperate with the indulgence.

I stand behind what I say and write. If I'm correct, there's credit, and if wrong, there's blame. So it goes. Why should I waste more time than the five minutes its taken to write these words to "discuss" something with someone who doesn't share my ethos?

It's just all Bledsottian to me (it's a new word I just invented).

Thanks for reading nonetheless.

---

As for the more blatantly obvious passive/aggressive deficiencies of the anonymous writer (“Bledsottian” references this trait), these can be discussed another time. For now, I’ll try again to answer the questions asked, because for some of you, it may provide an insight into the creative process.

Following two weeks of poking sticks through the bars of the Open Air Museum’s theistic and holiday season cages, I wanted to write something counter-intuitive, but that still referenced the preceding discussions. The holiday piece from 1991 seemed appropriate, but it needed an introduction.

The common theme chronologically was St. Nicholas Day, which was mentioned in the original story, and which would be coming three days after the publication date of the column. To even the most casual of observers, and as such traditions go, St. Nicholas Day in America is traceable to European immigrants, primarily those from Central Europe.

Recalling that ethnic Germans once lived across broad swaths of Central Europe, including areas that are now “Slavic” nations (Poland, Czech Republic and Slovakia), and in non-Slavic Hungary and Romania, and that my family background comes entirely from German immigrants, it didn’t strike me as far-fetched to combine these elements in the introduction.

Anonymous asks: “What does being an Atheist have anything to do with St. Nicolas Day?” and “What relevance did it have to do with the story?”

Having devoted previous columns to atheism, and having established my family’s Central European roots in theism, with the strong possibility that like the people I met in Slovakia, earlier generations of my family would have celebrated St. Nicholas Day in the immigrant tradition, there is attendant irony in my having emerged these many years later as an atheist. There’s also the fact that a century ago, it might not have been very healthful for a family member to confess atheistic leanings openly, which today can be done without overt fear of persecution apart from anonymous critics.

Hope that helps. I’d love to sit down with you and drink a beer while discussing it further, except you refuse to follow the blog policy of disclosure, and hoods remind me of the Klan.

Things like that just don’t help the nectar go down.

Thanks for reading.

Yawn.

Thursday’s posting at Freedom to Screech seemed too well written to be emanating from the trognonymous dungeon, and sure enough, it’s another bit of unattributed petty thievery.

MARK - TO – MARKET

In fact, the words were swiped from the forums section at the Wall Street Journal and were written by Benjamin M. Cole, PhD, who works in the Management Systems Department of Fordham University's Graduate School of Business Administration.

In other words, an educated writer who uses his own name, being plagiarized by an uneducated one who hides behind a contrived pseudonym and shrieks about the "rules."

How very, very old-school New Albanian. I hope muy use of the word "school" doesn't offend the pretend-prof.

Police suspect that hallucinogenic drugs were involved.

Freedom to Screech takes the low road ... and regards it as clever to misspell the topic’s name.

45-24.... WISEMAN OUSTED AS DEMOCRAT CHAIRWOMAN!

Tastelessness? That’s something we’ve come to expect from the nutty transgendered professor, but let's not neglect her command of conceptual disorientation.

FOS’s supposed cast of thousand contributors (yawn) view themselves as diehard Democrats, albeit it ones who believe in nothing remotely democratic, least of all the party's own platform. They huffed and puffed and espoused the glory of Hillary’s candidacy and the all-purpose goal of feminine (read: minority) ascendancy, then just as quickly abandoned the Obama (read: also minority) ticket, swathing their objections in a persistent fog of racially-tinged rhetoric, then choosing instead to stump for the comically inept Republicans, and after that catastrophic loss, now gloat as local Demos reject a female (just like Hillary, right?) in favor of a male chairman, but a male chairman who stumped four-square for the same presidential victor (Obama) that the trognonymous Erika publicly detests.

If anyone out there detects consistency of argumentation in Erika’s ramblings, can you clue us in? In the interim, all I detect is bile of the sort that poisons New Albany’s well. With friends like FOS, local Democrats don't need enemies.

However, the party continues to need a coherent direction. I hope Wilcox is the one tp provide, although you'll forgive me if I don't hold my breath.

See anonymous. See anonymous yap. Anonymous is mad.

My pal "anonymous" posted the following on Mrs. Baird's blog.

I think it's funny. Maybe you will, too.

---

The difference between NAC and FOS.

a.) NAC does not put facts on his blog. Case in point: He's been ranting about redistricting, but didn't our council pass an ordinance which makes his blog his opinion not fact?
b.) If he does not like what you state he attacks you, so he's dealing with his opinion not based on fact.
c.) His vocabulary is slightly warped and full of vengeance
d.) I researched blog ,do you know what it says? You are to have very few links, it is a well known fact that what NAC post does not mean people are reading what he post. It just means people click on NAC for the links not his words.
e.) So I challenge NAC to take the links off and lets see who is reading his crap.
Fact is NAC has been after Councilman Coffey and Steve Price for years, which proves my point it's personal. At least FOS backs their postings up with laws, facts and what individuals say.
f.) When reading NAC do you like others shake your head and say: what the f**k is he even saying? Most of the time like I stated before it's his opinion and never much substance.
g.)How many times have you read FOS and said to yourself, I feel the same way. I have several times.

Just like Shirley's blog here. She allows us to vent, give our thoughts, opinions and that's good for all of us.

But my thought are, don't try to force his/NAC opinions on others.

h.) As for grammar, I've checking his words and someone needs to explain to him his grammar is not so good either and the tribune has to place a disclaimer to keep from being sued.

I.) In fact, Roger's stumbling, fumbling, and endless searching for words have caused him many enemies.

As I once heard; you can form opinions without having to get the facts.

January 30, 2009 7:17 AM

Fan mail for the most wonderful time of the year.

Why keep the unsigned, unidentified gems to myself? The following e-mail arrived "no subject" ... and the breathing is heavy, indeed.

Who the hell are you? A classic example of narcisistic males that are watering down values in our culture.

Used to live in New Albany, nice town, good people. You aren’t one of them. Scary and so sad that people like you have got a hold on the politics there.

Bill Schmidt was my father in law. Good people, he and Anna... as good as they come.

I don’t like you. I am a psychiatric nurse and I see right through you; what you are and what you are not.

You are evil and ugly. You spread hate. Yuck, gives me the shivers to even think about your type of character.

I think the Diagnostic Manual should add to the definition of narcissist “usually has his own blog site”.

I feel sorry for your wife, on the other hand, maybe not. Any woman who would marry and stick with a narcissist usually has problems of her own.
Now that I am through vomiting, I would like to say to you, sir “May God Bless you and your family. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” and I will say several Our Fathers and Hail Mary's for your good intentions.

I chuckled and thought about IAmHoosier's recent experiences while responding.

Dear Anonymous

You wrote: "Scary and so sad that people like you have got a hold on the politics there."

If you believe we're the ones who have "a hold" of politics here, then I believe you're the delusional one.

Happy holidaze,

R

Freedom to Screech's attack on the YMCA: A sewer runs through her.

In pursuing the perpetually challenging act of wrapping the arms of an unfortunate gnat around the microscopic phenomenon known locally as Freedom to Screech (Yellow), it helps to know that the blog’s trognonymous and comically transgendered poseur has never permitted comments, thus conveniently putting the lie to any notion of interest in anything approximating an exchange of ideas.

Consequently, I can’t answer her questions there (YMCA), so I’ll do so here.

Did the YMCA give away FREE BEER at the recent reception?

No, the YMCA didn’t. I did. Strictly speaking, I served New Albanian Brewing Company beer that had been purchased by a private citizen who wished to donate it to the reception. Cognizant of my professional responsibilities, I actually “carded” one person who looked too young. He was 25. Roughly 75 cups of beer were poured for a crowd estimated at 400 people, but of course, there also was local wine being given away, too – and this is something Erika’s informants (a former councilman and his wife, no doubt) presumably failed to note, unless they feel that the Bible permits wine at health and fitness facilities but frowns on beer, in which case they’d have to explain what the Bible has to do with any of it.

Who approved (the) beer bar to be set up at the YMCA?

Judging from the numerous officials who thanked me for bringing the beer, I’m guessing that the YMCA’s management approved the arrangement. No one expressed dismay or asked me to leave, for the possible reason that adults who made the YMCA possible attended the reception without wearing paper sacks over their heads like Erika does on a daily blogging basis. Wouldn’t phoning the YMCA and asking be the best way for the blogger to know who approved the beer?

Alas, just like her perpetually unquestioning council idols, Dan Coffey and Steve Price, Erika knows that innuendo and grandstanding presumably are more likely to scratch an adolescent oppositionist itch than asking the proper person and learning the correct answer. Coffey’s dysfunctional, but at least he doesn’t hide behind a mask.

What image is this for our children and teenagers?

If by “image” Erika is referring to her own anonymity, the presence at the reception of anti-YMCA activist and former councilman Bill Schmidt, and the churlish behavior of former council kingpin Larry Kochert, who also attended in spite of his strident opposition to the project, then yes, each of them is a pretty bad image, indeed.

Looking at it another way, since it’s unlikely that Kochert will ever set foot again inside a building that by its very existence provides abundant refutation of his tragicomic and underachieving council career … I suppose it’s a wash in terms of imagery. King Larry’s rotten example to the youthful populace is erased by the good one offered in the form of the YMCA, and the city finally escapes a ruinous legacy of ward heeling at the expense of the commonweal.

"Kids, come on down to the YMCA. Swim, workout and have a BEER."

As for “kids,” surely Erika knows that it is illegal to serve minors watery Bud Light, much less the real beer produced at NABC. As for installing a bar with alcoholic beverages in a health and fitness facility, it certainly would be a very European thing to do. Alas, New Albany isn’t remotely European, even if at times the squalor and ignorance bears a striking resemblance to Old Albania, and every attempt to do something about is opposed by the likes of Erika.

Is the YMCA going to apply for a "Downtown Beer License" to set up their BAR?

Probably not, seeing as there’s no such thing as a “downtown beer license,” but hey – facts are a minor impediment to senseless verbiage, right? If they weren’t, Erika wouldn’t have a blogging “career.”

Does their title really mean ... "Young Men's Christian Association?"

According to Wikipedia, it does. Congrats, Erika. You finally got one right. I’ll tune in next year at this time and see if Freedom to Screech and the stopped clock have once again magically coincided.

County council turns hose on Erika, gallery erupts in laughter.

The senior editor refrained from last evening's county council meeting, instead opting for the Windsor's bar and lounge opening, where at least one co-conspirator was spotted whispering sweet nothings to a tumbler of bourbon. I concurred, but with beer.

There was much good news yesterday, gleaned from conversation with people who are bucking native pessimism and an unpredictable economy to invest, work hard, and make New Albany into the kind of place that can succeed, not fail -- where people can find reasons to move forward, not skulk backwards, whining and pouting like a whipped puppy.

We await leadership of the same progressive caliber from the city council ... and perhaps have spotted some of it emanating from the county council.

Floyd income tax clears first hurdle; New Albany, county would share revenue, by Dick Kaukas (Courier-Journal).

The Floyd County Council voted 4-3 along party lines last night to give initial approval to a new income tax totaling 1.25 percent ...

... Lee Cotner, the council's attorney, said afterward that the ordinance will require at least one more "yes" vote by the council at its meeting next month to take effect as scheduled Jan. 1. If the ordinance wins final approval, Floyd County residents will be paying an income tax of 1 percent -- which would go back to homeowners in the form of property-tax relief -- plus 0.25 percent for public safety, police and firefighters.

Deterred from self-immolation by a persistent light rain outside, pseudonymous blogger Vicki “Freedom to Screech” Denhart took her protest against taxes, public safety and contemporary civilization indoors, addressing the county council in an impeccably tailored “Erik the transgendered academic” costume.

He/she was joined by Joe Tanksley, and together they were identified by the CJ’s Kaukas as stalwarts of the Concerned Citizens for Anonymity … oops, make that “Accountability.”

It’s so easy to get the two confused.

Of course, there’s always a Price to pay when the topic turns to ways we might avoid further slippage into the 19th-century, and consequently, New Albany’s foremost spokesman on behalf of under-achieving torpor was in attendance, too.

"I am not supporting this," said the 3rd district councilman, who added that the new revenue might become a “slush fund,” whereas Grandma’s cookie jar is a better place than mattresses to hide those nickels and dimes in preparation for the rainy day blues.

How long 'til 2011?

REWIND: Playing by the rules means just saying "no" to plagiarism, doesn't it?

Hey - if she can do it word for word again, so can I. At least the title's different. Here's the 2008 plagiarism link: Marking 9/11.

Here's what I wrote about it last year.

----

I’m always amused when people who “play by the rules” aren’t able to follow them.

Yes, it’s time to revisit Vicki Ann Denschak’s bilious Freedom to Screech blog and read “Professor Erik’s” original thoughts about … wait … it now seems that they’re not exactly original.

As the noted noted linguist Gomer Pyle once observed, "Surprise, Surprise, Surprise."

09. 11. 01

The imaginary lecturer’s first two paragraphs are cribbed in their entirety (sans attribution, which is the faux academic’s longstanding, loathsome habit) from an essay by John Peters.

Poignantly, Ms. Denschak inserts her own leadoff sentence into the second paragraph. Not only is it grammatically incorrect, but she misspells singer Shania Twain’s name.

Further along, there’s another whole paragraph stolen from an article by Stacey Colino published in 2002.

And, the sentence following the paragraph originally written by Colino can be found here.

What was that about rules? Consider this random definition from the Northwestern University website:

Northwestern's "Principles Regarding Academic Integrity" defines plagiarism as "submitting material that in part or whole is not entirely one's own work without attributing those same portions to their correct source."

Gee, you’d think a college professor would know that.

(thanks RS)