SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Gorilla, guerrilla and other curious attributes of urban narcissism.

A fine 1973 single by Hawkwind, with Lemmy on rhythm bass. Meanwhile the words gorilla and guerrilla have quite different meanings, but have been known to serve as a litmus test for self-indulgence.

Choose Your Words: gorilla/guerrilla

You might see a gorilla in a zoo, but a guerrilla (sometimes spelled with one "r"), is someone who belongs to a group of independent fighters. If you remember your high school Spanish, you'll know the difference.

A gorilla is a type of large African ape. Sure they fight, but that's not why they're called gorillas. When they show up in the news, they're usually just monkeying around.

A guerrilla, on the other hand, is a fighter who's a part of a rebellious group that's battling a government or other authority, and likes to raid and ambush. The word has picked up a casual meaning of describing anything that's meant to take you by surprise.

So how will knowing your high school Spanish help you keep them straight? Guerrilla comes from the Spanish word for a war made up of skirmishes. That guerilla is related to guerra for (you guessed it), war. If you remember that guerra is war and guerrilla is little war, you'll remember that in English, independent fighters are guerrillas, no matter how hairy they are.

It's been only a year (March 11, 2019) since NAC's celebration of National Gorilla Suit Day, but what the hell.

---

Here's Don Martin's classic National Gorilla Suit Day, soon to be a DNA fundraiser.

One Fine Day in Front of Jimmy's Music -- with apologies to the late, great Don Martin.

I missed National Gorilla Suit Day this year. Actually I've missed it every year for decades because when you're 6' 4" and 250 lbs, it's hard to find such a costume of any sort.

Just now, after picking myself up off the floor after dissolving in the deferred laughter of 40+ years, Diana accuses me of regressing to childhood. Maybe, but a resistance leader needs a good clean laugh, especially in New Gahania.

As all gorilla suit aficionados know, National Gorilla Suit Day is the invention of the late Don Martin, once known at "MAD's Maddest Artist;" the holiday featured prominently in his 1963 paperback collection, "Don Martin Bounces Back" in which he told the tale of the aforementioned Mr. Bestertester's opposition to the festivities and the carnage that is visited upon him as a result. The story features people in gorilla suits, gorillas in people suits, gorillas in gorilla suits, and some of each in various other disguises, in a 56-page extravaganza full of Martin's trademark absurd violence and giggle-inducing sound effects.

I may have spoken too soon.

Or Market Street: "Don’t let your Main Street -- or any street -- turn in to a cartoon version of Main Street."

At least Nicolae wasn't hypocritical about it.

The following link probably is more applicable to Jeffersonville's emerging downtown building projects, but it's still worthy of note, for this phrase alone: "cartoon version."

As in, a cartoon version of downtown revitalization.

I'm waiting for a scholar somewhere to write the book about the way that a whole generation of Americans, maybe two, has mistaken Disney World for the Real World, with generic cookie-cutter plastic facades substituted for genuine essences -- and another whole generation of engineers and design "experts" making out like bandits.

When you look at HWC's plan for Market Street beautification, and witness the delighted reaction of City Hall functionaries to the merest mention of IKEA furniture, it's plain that none of it has to do with what makes New Albany unique and distinctive. It's almost like a disease, not a design.

Even the historic preservationists fall victim to this. They'll sacrifice their own credibility and lots of tax revenues to "save" the Reisz Building, then acquiesce without a murmur as HWC foists another faux street redesign on us, one that resembles what you'd expect to see at ... that's right, Disney World. 

The Kool-Aid is very strong, and evidently they're very weak. 

From McMansion to McMain Street, by Michael Huston (CNU)

Like the McMansion, the McMain Street attempts to mimic the complex roof massing of many buildings in a single building. Here are ideas on better ways to preserve or create Main Street character.

So, don’t let your Main Street—or any street—turn in to a cartoon version of Main Street! Planners and designers that want to preserve—or create—the character of the traditional Main Street should be more attentive as to the way this goal is achieved. Consider these tips:

• Whenever possible, develop with smaller lot increments (consider de-coupling parking to assist in this).
• If small increments are not possible, show restraint in the number of breaks and the way they are articulated (more up and down, and less in and out).
• Let hotels, banks, and other larger building types be expressed as single buildings with thoughtfully composed facades that more honestly reflect the true nature of the building type.
• Keep in mind that facade designs that are viewed only in 2-dimensional elevation form can be deceptively complex when viewed in 3-dimensions from the angle of the street and sidewalk.
• Postsript: A search for the term “McMain Street” turned up a similar definition in the Urban Dictionary as follows: “A new centrally planned shopping mall designed to look like a small town center but filled with big corporate chains.” In this article, the term is applied to any building that attempts to mimic multiple buildings within the structure of a single building.

Here's Don Martin's classic National Gorilla Suit Day, soon to be a DNA fundraiser.

One Fine Day in Front of Jimmy's Music -- with apologies to the late, great Don Martin.

I missed National Gorilla Suit Day this year. Actually I've missed it every year for decades because when you're 6' 4" and 250 lbs, it's hard to find such a costume of any sort.

Just now, after picking myself up off the floor after dissolving in the deferred laughter of 40+ years, Diana accuses me of regressing to childhood. Maybe, but a resistance leader needs a good clean laugh, especially in New Gahania.

As all gorilla suit aficionados know, National Gorilla Suit Day is the invention of the late Don Martin, once known at "MAD's Maddest Artist;" the holiday featured prominently in his 1963 paperback collection, "Don Martin Bounces Back" in which he told the tale of the aforementioned Mr. Bestertester's opposition to the festivities and the carnage that is visited upon him as a result. The story features people in gorilla suits, gorillas in people suits, gorillas in gorilla suits, and some of each in various other disguises, in a 56-page extravaganza full of Martin's trademark absurd violence and giggle-inducing sound effects.

I may have spoken too soon.

One Fine Day in Front of Jimmy's Music -- with apologies to the late, great Don Martin.

Don Martin's cartoons will live forever.

His people are big-nosed schmoes with sleepy eyes, puffs of wiry hair, and what appear to be life preservers under the waistline of their clothes. Their hands make delicate little mincing gestures and their strangely thin, elongated feet take a 90-degree turn at the toes as they step forward. Whether they’re average Joes or headhunters, Martin’s people share the same physique: a tottering tower of obloids. Martin puts the bodies of these characters through every kind of permutation, treating them as much like gadgets as the squirting flowers and joy buzzers that populate his gags: glass eyes pop out from a pat on the back; heads are steamrollered into manhole-cover shapes. All of this accompanied by a Dadaist panoply of sound effects found nowhere else: shtoink! shklorp! fwoba-dap! It’s unlikely Samuel Beckett was aware of Don Martin, but had he been he might have recognized a kindred spirit.

Satire alert: Trump tells Gahan, "I can fix your Riverview Tower problem."

With apologies to the President.

CARTOON: Bunkermania and the Midas Touch.

But Monsieur Hall would be happy to speak with you.

CARTOON: Gahan Mach III ... or, daddy needs a brand new logo.

Thanks to DG for the idea.

CARTOON: If Gahan's not careful, the Boss will revoke his driving privileges -- or call in the termites.

Just remember, New Albany is ...

Now, does anyone have a bucket handy?

CARTOON: The News and Tribune's Bill Hanson weighs the relative merits of investigative journalism.

"Political cartoonists around the world are sharpening their pencils to illustrate something that can’t be explained in words: President-elect Donald Trump."

A picture's worth ... yeah, you know.

FUNNY, NOT FUNNY: This is how the world’s best cartoonists are reacting to Trump’s victory, by Manuel Rueda (Fusion)

With a mix of angry humor, barbed irony, and total disbelief, political cartoonists around the world are sharpening their pencils to illustrate something that can’t be explained in words: President-elect Donald Trump.

While some cartoonists are focusing on Trump’s misogyny, others are using their skills to highlight the racism and nativism that ran through his campaign. In most cases, the cartoonists are challenged to make the U.S. look more cartoonish than it’s become.

Many of today’s cartoons reflect a deep concern about the immediate future of a country that for centuries has been a beacon of democracy and freedom for those fleeing authoritarian regimes and economic chaos.

And why not?

After all, it's our most wonderful time of the year.

Safe streets are too slow a roll, especially when Jeff Gahan and the subservient Democrats keep pushing back.

The original cartoon is by Adam Zyglis and appeared in the Buffalo News, then Modacity posted it to Fb with this message:

"This century's great city-building challenge: to slowly roll back decades of mistakes from the previous one (via @AdamZyglis on Twitter)."

Because ...

Cartoon: "A Night on Bald Mountain" (State Street remix) will be followed by a free kazoo concert in Bicentennial Park.

How Mr. Disney repaired Mt. Rushmore, and where it got us.

Cartoon: Mayoral nocturnal transmissions.

The Padgett PAC comes to grips with electoral rejection.

Editorial cartoon: Sweeping it all away.

Chim chiminey

Chim chiminey

Chim chim cher-ee!

A sweep is as lucky

As lucky can be

ON THE AVENUES: Street “sweeping” epitomizes the degradation of governance in New Albany.

Editorial cartoon: Our Leashes of Command.

In a nutshell, that's exactly right.

Not again.

Doctor, it hurts when I do that.