Monday, January 07, 2013

2013 REPRISE: Stop "reaching out" before I tear off your arm.

Seeing as a new year just got under way, a reminder is warranted.

At work, I receive sales solicitations on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. Most of them are advertising pitches, which are annoying in the best of times. Especially in January, I can rely on LinkedIn to deliver a dozen new "friends," most of whom immediately begin asking me to buy insurance.

However,  other requests are for a wide array of worthy causes, to which I generally respond by donating one of my personal, guided tasting certificates. These tend to do quite well in silent auction formats. Admittedly, I'm finding it a bit tedious to be asked to donate multiple kegs of beer for your crucial fundraisers, but that's a different topic, for another time.

Recently I received an e-mail; names and organizations have been removed to protect those about to be harshly berated.

My name is ( ... ) and I am emailing you on behalf of ( ... ). I wanted to reach out and give you an opportunity to participate in our first annual fundraiser to be held ...

Pay attention, world, and observe these words carefully:

I wanted to reach out ...

That's what I thought you wrote.


You can request, ask, demand, beg, implore or connive, and there's a good chance I will finish reading your words, or listening to you speak your piece.

But, henceforth, any solicitation I receive that bears any trace of this lingustic "reach out" repugnance will be unceremoniously trashed.

You have been warned.

Carry on.

Sorry we can't do business.

Not really.

1 comment:

w&la said...

When Barry Bingham, Sr. was running the Courier-Journal and the Louisville Times, he refused to run any ad that contained the phrase "first annual" as he said an event cannot be considered "annual" until the second year.

Seems to go hand in hand with someone who wants to "reach out".