Showing posts with label propaganda. Show all posts
Showing posts with label propaganda. Show all posts

Thursday, June 04, 2020

Hilter Skilter, Béarnaise, Gwobbles and the origins of propaganda in American-style capitalism.


Reading this thread at Joe Dunman's Twitter account led me to a feeling of déjà vu.


As it turns out, almost exactly three years ago in this space, I took to the airwaves to correct an error about the career of Joseph Goebbels.

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That's right; I was wrong. Goebbels got his ideas for propaganda from American advertising, not the other way around.

June 5, 2017

Recently I posted this on social media.

I'm eternally amazed by chain restaurant envy, which always seemed to me an inevitable result of Goebbels-scale national advertising and perception of price point (the latter is skewed, but real enough in many cases). But is it cultural, too? I don't know the answer, but is it a fair question?

Among the responses was this.

Using the Goebbels example is just histrionic.

I replied:

I don't think so. It's the basis of saturation advertising, in the sense of constant repetition. We're exposed to ads every day, hundreds and maybe thousands of times. I believe numerous studies have been devoted to the ongoing subliminal effects even when we think we're tuning it out. Goebbels preached these very qualities in his propaganda dissemination.

In essence, I was arguing that from the techniques of Goebbels, post-war capitalism derived its operational handbook for mass marketing.

I was mistaken.

In fact, Goebbels found inspiration for his propaganda techniques in pre-war capitalism. Big lies and mass-marketing in the service of profit made Goebbels, and not the other way around.

Meet Edward Bernays. You'll want to click through and read the entire essay.

The manipulation of the American mind: Edward Bernays and the birth of public relations, by Richard Gunderman (The Conversation)

“The most interesting man in the world.” “Reach out and touch someone.” “Finger-lickin’ good.” Such advertising slogans have become fixtures of American culture, and each year millions now tune into the Super Bowl as much for the ads as for the football.

While no single person can claim exclusive credit for the ascendancy of advertising in American life, no one deserves credit more than a man most of us have never heard of: Edward Bernays ... often referred to as “the father of public relations,” Bernays in 1928 published his seminal work, Propaganda, in which he argued that public relations is not a gimmick but a necessity:

The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, and our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of ... It is they who pull the wires that control the public mind.

It turns out that Bernays had an international readership.

Bernays’ ideas sold a lot more than cigarettes and Dixie cups.

Even though Bernays saw the power of propaganda during war and used it to sell products during peacetime, he couldn’t have imagined that his writings on public relations would become a tool of the Third Reich.

In the 1920s, Joseph Goebbels became an avid admirer of Bernays and his writings – despite the fact that Bernays was a Jew. When Goebbels became the minister of propaganda for the Third Reich, he sought to exploit Bernays’ ideas to the fullest extent possible. For example, he created a “Fuhrer cult” around Adolph Hitler.

In 2017, we're exposed to advertising (or marketing, or branding) cues thousands of time each day. Whether overt or subliminal, these messages influence actions we blithely regard as "free."

But are they?

Goebbels may have been less concerned with profits, though the result is largely the same.

Its underlying purpose, in large part, is to make money. By convincing people that they want something they do not need, Bernays sought to turn citizens and neighbors into consumers who use their purchasing power to propel themselves down the road to happiness.

Without a moral compass, however, such a transformation promotes a patronizing and ultimately cynical view of human nature and human possibilities, one as likely to destroy lives as to build them up.

Another Bernays citation is here.

He disseminated propaganda for the Government during World War I and tried to brighten Calvin Coolidge's dour image during the 1924 campaign by importing Al Jolson and 40 other Broadway performers to the White House. A master at concealing base drives behind exalted rhetoric, Bernays in 1928 provided this defense of political work: ''Intelligent men must realize that propaganda is the modern instrument by which they can fight for productive ends and help to bring order out of chaos.'' As if to mock this rosy view, Joseph Goebbels became an attentive student of Bernays's theories five years later.

And another.

It is known that Goebbels studied the way advertising companies worked in America. A great deal of his written work was made up of short sentences – as the above indicate. Everything was kept simple so that there could be no misunderstanding as to its meaning.

Finally, this.

Goebbels “took his cue from the model of commercial advertising”.

For Goebbels, “commercial advertising was overtly cited as the model to follow. Whether it was a matter of simplification, constant repetition of memorable slogans, or concentration of propaganda material in regular campaigns, the principles of mass advertising could easily be applied to political propaganda.”

Strictly speaking, I was mistaken to assert that mass-market, saturation advertising for McDonald's, Budweiser or Ford derived from Goebbels.

Under the circumstances, I'm perfectly happy to concede my error.

Thursday, May 23, 2019

An amazing Albanian propaganda film, circa 1984: "Where a free and happy people are living by the sweat of their brow."






If you've never viewed an old-school "New Communist Man and Woman" heavy-industry-porn propaganda film, then prepare an adult libation, get comfy and watch this. It's the very definition of "period piece." The music alone is worth the 20 minute viewing time.

For balanced background, this excellent overview from the New York Times was published in 1984, about the same time as the 40th anniversary celebration mentioned in the film.


Enver Hoxha, ruler of Albania for four decades, died in 1985.

Two years ago, Mr. Hoxha wrote: "There are some, the imperialists and their lackeys, who say that we have isolated ourselves from the 'civilized world.' These gentlemen are mistaken. Both the bitter history of our country in the past and the reality of the 'world' which they advertise have convinced us that it is by no means a 'civilized world,' but a world in which the bigger and stronger oppresses and flays the smaller and the weaker, in which money and corruption make the law, and injustice, perfidy and backstabbing triumph."

Communism in Albanian collapsed in 1991, and I visited the country in 1994. The photos of this trip are in slide format and await digitization. Until then, here's the text of the journey 25 years ago.

From the 2016 revision:

Old Albania, 1994: Beer in the Land of the Eagle (Part 1 of 3).

Old Albania, 1994: Beer in the Land of the Eagle (Part 2 of 3).

Old Albania, 1994: Beer in the Land of the Eagle (Part 3 of 3).

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Performance review: One Southern Indiana's "Fund Us Well" tour brings the Chamber Heads to Jeffersonville along with their pot(s).


Apparently One Southern Indiana's annual tour of legislative bodies is underway, and the Tom May Picayune sent new reporter Brooke McAfee to cover the performance before Jeffersonville's city council.


1si provides economic development update for Southern Indiana


JEFFERSONVILLE — One Southern Indiana reviewed its cumulative economic successes in a recent report of jobs, projects, annual payroll and new capital invested in Clark and Floyd counties since the organization's formation in 2006 during a presentation to the Jeffersonville City Council Monday.

Come again?

"One Southern Indiana reviewed its cumulative economic successes."

This seems to imply that 1Si seeks credit for the entirety of economic activity in Southern Indiana since 2006.

That can't be right.

On second thought, it's probably intentional. The Green Mouse sent an e-mail about guileless suckers to the ghost of PT Barnum, and we'll let you know the answer as soon as it arrives.

I missed a few New Albany city council meetings, and perhaps 1Si has come already with hat in hand, but no matter. Here's an excerpt from ON THE AVENUES from May 18, 2017.

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ON THE AVENUES: Are dissidents born or made? A humanities major examines his life and locale.


 ... Coincidentally, 1Si’s President and CEO, Wendy Dant Chesser, spoke to my (Leadership Southern Indiana) class last week during our concluding Community Leadership Day.

Ostensibly Dant Chesser was there to outline steps for effectively leading a non-profit organization, and this she managed to do with requisite efficiency.

However, the second half of her presentation quickly digressed into the customary advertisement for 1Si, although this time with a novel twist.

According to Dant Chesser, the large manufacturing conglomerates most eagerly courted by 1Si (as opposed to independent local businesses and grassroots entrepreneurs, who must settle for trickle-down scraps) prefer employees holding one of the six “top earner” university degrees, including engineering, computers and electronics.

However, according to her PowerPoint slide, higher education insists on disgorging twice as many graduates who’ve been awarded the six least “useful” (and lowest paying) degree choices: English, philosophy, history and the like.

It would seem that both Dant Chesser and the fluffed and subsidized multinational beneficiaries of the neo-liberal order, upon whom 1Si depends to make payroll for 14 staffers, are offended by this ratio.

She made no effort to conceal her disdain for those viewing education as anything other than glorified vocational training, and considering the fact that I wasn’t the only humanities major in the room, her summarizing anecdote of choice was tellingly errant.

Dant Chesser told us of her recent chat with an art history major who was having trouble in the job market. Well, what did he expect? Art history? What sort of guidance counselor would recommend studying subjects as perennially useless as art history?

Well …

Perhaps those guidance counselors grasping that the object of education isn’t always to match obedient hamsters to their proper wheel, but to produce humans capable of thinking. The fact that “fake” news is such a concern these days might enter into this paradigm, wouldn’t you … think?

Seemingly nowhere in Dant Chesser’s narrowly defined (read: confined) world exists the type of broad, individually tailored choices of human aspiration that depart from economic development of the “we’ve always done it this way” variety, which by breathtaking coincidence is the type best calculated to advance the specific capitalist format to which 1Si has attached itself like a leech – hence the blood money of its council funding request.

The real problem might be that humanities majors have been made aware of different trends in the history of thought, and as such, they’re the ones most likely to question Dant Chesser’s premises.

Which I did, aloud and joyfully.

Bizarrely, another of her slides testified to the critical importance of every Southern Indiana resident meekly accepting 1Si’s version of the Regional Cities Initiative, so as to provide unanimity in pursuit of a “collective” path forward – and yes, “collective” is precisely the word this crony capitalist enabler used.

Irony is dead, but Trumpolini didn’t kill it.

As a direct result of past concerns proffered by anti-establishment dissidents, at least the money 1Si is requesting of our council will be put to a specific, directed use: WorkHub, a workforce training initiative.

That’s all well and good, but is this workforce training available to art history majors, or must we collectively denounce the pursuit of non-vocational education before disbursing the dollars to applicants?

Until Dant Chesser answers this question (a contrite public apology would be more suitable, but I’m a cynical realist), I recommend to council that the money be withheld. It won’t, and I can hear the backslapping already.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Jeff "Look at Me" Gahan's aquatic cult of personality: He brings us health, all by himself.


Taxpayers are footing the bill for full-page magazine ads like this one, and yet since the River Run Family Water Park's inception, detailed financial records about its annual summertime operation have remained a complete mystery because Jeff Gahan, whose photo dominates the layout, refuses to release them.

Before the city spends at least $8.5 million on a new city hall, shouldn't we know about the financial performance of Gahan's numerous other big ticket, bright and shiny projects? After all, initial expenditures are the proverbial tip of the iceberg. What are the ancillary costs for things like maintenance?

Where are the artful subsidies coming from?

And: the biggest question of all: Why are we spending money for ads like this, which serve primarily to glorify a solitary, grubby mayor?

Tuesday, May 01, 2018

Come to Stump City: Yet another artlessly staged photo purports to show that Deaf Gahan really cares about trees. Problem is, history suggests otherwise.


No single administration in recent memory has felled as many trees as Team Gahan.

No single governing clique in recent memory has failed as often as Gahan's when it comes to making trees a genuine priority during this time of urban heat island awareness.

No single Republican in recent memory has filled as many ground-down stump holes for a Democratic mayor with such enthusiasm as David Barksdale.

No single Tree Board in recent memory has fizzled for so long resisting a legitimate request for meeting minutes (mine dates to May of 2016), although it must be conceded that Bob Caesar holds the record for sheer longevity insofar as refusing to divulge information to taxpayers requesting it.

The following randomly arranged photos depict some of the highlights of Gahan's clear-cutting fetish these past six years. How much more of this strange "love" can the city's tree canopy withstand?












And every now and then, he just pretends.


It doesn't convince anyone.


Previously (August 2017):

Team Gahan has clear-cut virtually the entire city, so it's the perfect time to begin pretending the junta cares about trees.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Fetch your HAZMAT suits and listen to this propaganda podcast with Mayor Jeff Milhous Gahan -- or not.


My friend M sent this link to me ten days ago, introducing the topic with just one word: "Gag."

Gag (verb)

choke or retch: "he gagged on the sourness of the wine"
synonyms: retch, heave, dry-heave ... "the stench made her gag"

I'm sad (and a tad alarmed) to announce that although I've spent the past ten days trying mightily, no longer is it possible for me to get drunk enough to venture a listen. Either we turn for courage to harder drugs, or someone with banal poseur immunity must sacrifice his or her sanity to have a listen, and report back.


Aim Hometown Innovations Podcast: Episode 9



On this episode of Hometown Innovations podcast, New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan discusses modernization efforts, along with steps taken to preserve the river city’s unique heritage. Those projects include revamping the parks system and renovating Main Street to enhance the road that’s home to the Culbertson Mansion. The city also has boosted its quality-of-life with drone technology, including hosting a popular drone racing event along the river!

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

For a second consecutive day, City Hall ineffectually defends its abysmal record of tree abuse.


It's worth remembering the project's grandiloquent official title: Mt. Tabor Road Restoration and Pedestrian Safety Project.

Except that in today's City Hall spoon-feeding, nothing much is written about "safety." There's a small bit about "restoration," then the tired blurb flies off the rails with another rote defense of Jeff Gahan's amazing, quasi-Biblical record of inerrancy.

This time it's Krisjans Streips' turn to reveal that City Hall is developing an escalating sensitivity about Gahan's horrid deforestation habit.

Of course, it should be a relatively simple matter to ask for evidence of all these tree replantings. Surely the Tree Board and all of Gahan's overstuffed contractor buddies have retained records, correct?

Which reminds me: I did ask, 18 months ago.

2016 council budget hearing: Money for the Tree Board to cut trees, or plant them?

Back in May I attended a Tree Board meeting in search of information about its meetings, which I requested from the board's staff person, Krisjans Streips. This particular ray of sunshine has yet to break through Team Gahan's patented Transparency Prevention Modulator, but I digress.

You already know the answer: zilch; nada; ничего ... crickets chirping, pins dropping, and somewhere a lonesome mutt wailing.

Thanks for reading NA Confidential, dudes. The more you ignore us, the closer we get.

Mt. Tabor Road Project to Begin in Summer 2018

 ... In preparation of the project and to accommodate utility relocation, a contractor will be trimming and removing certain trees within the right-of-way along Mt. Tabor Road. By performing the utility relocation in advance of the full project, the city hopes to reduce the construction time of the overall project. These trees will be marked in advance. All property owners were compensated for trees that will be removed as part of the project, and the city will make efforts, similar to other areas and projects around New Albany, to repopulate the tree canopy.

“The City is making it a priority to improve the tree canopy,” stated stated Krisjans Streips, Chief City Planner and Tree Board Administrator. “Hundreds of trees have been planted in parks and on the Greenway, and trees will be replaced along the public right of way at a 3:1 ratio. This is a great safety, drainage, and road reconstruction project all rolled into one.”


Monday, July 24, 2017

Cringe alert: News and Tribune treats us to double the usual dose of religious advocacy. Since when has it become a Christian circular?


"Could not agree more. If it's going to be an unreadable, poorly edited rag, at least keep it secular."
-- Regular Reader JS

Our perennially underachieving, Jeffersonville-based newspaper already has a weekly pro-Christian column written by the publisher's former pastor, and this is why I question the necessity of importing a syndicated "guest columnist" from Florida to tip the balance (um, what balance?) even further.

But in the end, it's just an institutional reflex action, isn't it, like when the doctor hits your knee with the little rubber thingy?

No more thought went into the selection of this column than what it takes to chew and swallow a lunch of chain restaurant food.

Still, let me be clear: The addressable point here isn't the columnist's religious proselytizing. It's her address. If the News and Tribune is to be a Christian newspaper, then surely it can find local Christians to preach it, rather than syndicated dreck-slingers.

KENNEDY: When God says ‘I told you so’, by Nancy Kennedy

... Just before Jesus raised a man from the dead he told the man’s sister, “Did I not say to you that if you believe you would see the glory of God?”

I think God loves to reveal his glory and loves to say “I told you so” when he answers our prayers and surprises us with himself.

The faraway author:

— Nancy Kennedy is the author of “Move Over, Victoria - I Know the Real Secret,” “Girl on a Swing,” and her latest book, “Lipstick Grace.” She can be reached at 352-564-2927 or via email at nkennedy@chronicleonline.com.

And my oh my, the tags:

Cathy Worship Christianity Food God Mom Jesus Glory Nancy Kennedy

Monday, June 12, 2017

Fake facts and disgraceful behavior: Jeff Gahan faced opposition to his public housing putsch, so now he's seeking to discredit NAHA with propaganda.


Breathtaking propaganda, borne of Jeff Gahan's ongoing housing authority property grab.

Has he yet spoken with a single resident?

NAHA Maintenance Issues Brought to Attention of Mayor

Infuriated with those who have had the temerity to question Gahan's trumpsterian assault on public housing, Gahan's dim-pire is striking back with leering grins and innuendo.

Perhaps being compelled to forego the State Senate race is making Deaf all intemperate.

Notice that the press release begins with a triumphant listing of recent measures taken to absorb and demolish the NAHA, such as Gahan's refusal to appoint members to the housing authority's board until he could pack it with drooling sycophants loyal to Gahan (and for that matter, Adam Dickey).

Only then are a handful of photos posted, purporting to depict maintenance issues that probably stem from what was, in effect, Gahan's months-long refusal to cooperate with NAHA's own timetables for maintenance and unit replacement. Reduce them to penury, then attack them for being poor.

Can someone -- anyone -- explain to us how Gahan is a Democrat?

Of course, the only transparent act Gahan's ever committed is doing whatever he can contrive to discredit former NAHA director Bob Lane, which is the best reason for us to surmise that Lane's fighting back since Gahan's handpicked board of servile, bootlicking toadies fired him on Deaf's direct orders.

Typically, by doing so Gahan is slurring every last employee of the housing authority, higher or lower -- but nothing new there for a man whose reputation among ordinary city workers resembles that of Captain Queeg.

Wow.

How much lower can Gahan sink?


Monday, June 05, 2017

That's right; I was wrong. Goebbels got his ideas for propaganda from American advertising, not the other way around.


Recently I posted this on social media.

I'm eternally amazed by chain restaurant envy, which always seemed to me an inevitable result of Goebbels-scale national advertising and perception of price point (the latter is skewed, but real enough in many cases). But is it cultural, too? I don't know the answer, but is it a fair question?

Among the responses was this.

Using the Goebbels example is just histrionic.

I replied:

I don't think so. It's the basis of saturation advertising, in the sense of constant repetition. We're exposed to ads every day, hundreds and maybe thousands of times. I believe numerous studies have been devoted to the ongoing subliminal effects even when we think we're tuning it out. Goebbels preached these very qualities in his propaganda dissemination.

In essence, I was arguing that from the techniques of Goebbels, post-war capitalism derived its operational handbook for mass marketing.

I was mistaken.

In fact, Goebbels found inspiration for his propaganda techniques in pre-war capitalism. Big lies and mass-marketing in the service of profit made Goebbels, and not the other way around.

Meet Edward Bernays. You'll want to click through and read the entire essay.

The manipulation of the American mind: Edward Bernays and the birth of public relations, by Richard Gunderman (The Conversation)

“The most interesting man in the world.” “Reach out and touch someone.” “Finger-lickin’ good.” Such advertising slogans have become fixtures of American culture, and each year millions now tune into the Super Bowl as much for the ads as for the football.

While no single person can claim exclusive credit for the ascendancy of advertising in American life, no one deserves credit more than a man most of us have never heard of: Edward Bernays ... often referred to as “the father of public relations,” Bernays in 1928 published his seminal work, Propaganda, in which he argued that public relations is not a gimmick but a necessity:

The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, and our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of ... It is they who pull the wires that control the public mind.

It turns out that Bernays had an international readership.

Bernays’ ideas sold a lot more than cigarettes and Dixie cups.

Even though Bernays saw the power of propaganda during war and used it to sell products during peacetime, he couldn’t have imagined that his writings on public relations would become a tool of the Third Reich.

In the 1920s, Joseph Goebbels became an avid admirer of Bernays and his writings – despite the fact that Bernays was a Jew. When Goebbels became the minister of propaganda for the Third Reich, he sought to exploit Bernays’ ideas to the fullest extent possible. For example, he created a “Fuhrer cult” around Adolph Hitler.

In 2017, we're exposed to advertising (or marketing, or branding) cues thousands of time each day. Whether overt or subliminal, these messages influence actions we blithely regard as "free."

But are they?

Goebbels may have been less concerned with profits, though the result is largely the same.

Its underlying purpose, in large part, is to make money. By convincing people that they want something they do not need, Bernays sought to turn citizens and neighbors into consumers who use their purchasing power to propel themselves down the road to happiness.

Without a moral compass, however, such a transformation promotes a patronizing and ultimately cynical view of human nature and human possibilities, one as likely to destroy lives as to build them up.

Another Bernays citation is here.

He disseminated propaganda for the Government during World War I and tried to brighten Calvin Coolidge's dour image during the 1924 campaign by importing Al Jolson and 40 other Broadway performers to the White House. A master at concealing base drives behind exalted rhetoric, Bernays in 1928 provided this defense of political work: ''Intelligent men must realize that propaganda is the modern instrument by which they can fight for productive ends and help to bring order out of chaos.'' As if to mock this rosy view, Joseph Goebbels became an attentive student of Bernays's theories five years later.

And another.

It is known that Goebbels studied the way advertising companies worked in America. A great deal of his written work was made up of short sentences – as the above indicate. Everything was kept simple so that there could be no misunderstanding as to its meaning.

Finally, this.

Goebbels “took his cue from the model of commercial advertising”.

For Goebbels, “commercial advertising was overtly cited as the model to follow. Whether it was a matter of simplification, constant repetition of memorable slogans, or concentration of propaganda material in regular campaigns, the principles of mass advertising could easily be applied to political propaganda.”

Strictly speaking, I was mistaken to assert that mass-market, saturation advertising for McDonald's, Budweiser or Ford derived from Goebbels.

Under the circumstances, I'm perfectly happy to concede my error.

Thursday, June 01, 2017

Taxpayers foot the bill as this Gahan for State Senate video features the mayor talking about his lofty Summit Springs achievements.



Gahan's cult of personality is taking on hitherto elusive grandiosity as political decision time draws near.

He's giving us a shining city on a hill -- well, a summit at least -- and preparing a successor if the occasion arises.


Is it Beer Thirty yet?

Monday, October 17, 2016

Hanoi Hannah has died.

Hanoi Hannah -- and Axis Sally, Eastern Jewel, Lord Haw-Haw, Pyongyang Sally, Tokyo Rose and Seoul City Sue. They're no longer needed. Afterall, we have the Internet.

By zapping the truth through an ostrich-like policy censorship, deletions, and exaggerations U.S. Armed Forces Radio lost the trust of many GIs when they were most isolated and vulnerable to enemy propaganda. It wasn't that Hanoi Hannah always told the truth - she didn't. But she was most effective when she did tell the truth and US Armed Forces Radio was fudging it.

As usual, The Economist's obituary is elegant.

The music of English

Trinh Thi Ngo (“Hanoi Hannah”), broadcaster for Voice of Vietnam, died on September 30th, aged 87

The voice was faint, for the signal was weak between Hanoi and the Central Highlands. Nonetheless, at 8pm Saigon time, after a day spent avoiding mantraps and pursuing the ever-elusive Vietcong, GIs would try to unwind by listening to the young woman they called “Hanoi Hannah”. As they cleaned their rifles, smoked herbs and broke out a beer or two, their precious radios, strapped up for protection with ragged black tape, crackled with tones that might have been those of a perky high-school cheerleader. “GI Joe, how are you today?” asked the sweet-sounding girl, of men to whom any girl would have sounded sweet. “Are you confused? Nothing is more confused than to be ordered into a war to die or be maimed for life without the faintest idea of what’s going on. You know your government has abandoned you. They have ordered you to die. Don’t trust them. They lied to you.”

Thursday, September 29, 2016

ON THE AVENUES 3-PK, PART THREE: Survey says … Irv’s street grid agitprop won’t be putting Diogenes out of work any time soon.

ON THE AVENUES 3-PK, PART THREE: Survey says … Irv’s street grid agitprop won’t be putting Diogenes out of work any time soon.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

In the finale of a 3-pk, we come back to the present, only to find that like always in New Albany, the past won't let the future be. 

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The Green Mouse has uncovered a bonus copy of Irv Stumler's "Survey of Business in New Albany," as wrapped in a whoopee cushion made in China, and gifted to the Board of Public Works and Safety amid a room of eyes rolling in unrestrained mirth.

It isn’t a real survey, because Irv has made no apparent effort to present a fair case for the opposing side, and then to tally the ballots, come what may.

Rather, he’s circulating a petition, not a survey, and he intends to be given the “correct” answers, even if he is obliged to remind unfortunate listeners that one-way streets discourage atheism, dissuade onanism, and are better than milk and beefsteak for growing young drivers.

Naturally, Irv has a perfect right to post his selected theses (even his trademark feces) on any church door he chooses, at least once he’s browbeaten the attending minister for a few thumbtacks and plastic bags.

Concurrently, I feel the need to expose Irv’s ginormous honking whoppers, and today it is my grudging task to dissect this muddled, tragic and frankly hilarious mess, though with an important caveat.

Apart from a sole necessary exception, I’ll not be naming names. I harbor no interest in outing, or assembling boycott lists. To do so would merely perpetuate the divisiveness Irv seeks so mightily to conjure, and he can keep this dubious distinction for himself.

I hope he chokes on it.

When it comes to framing the many issues involved with our city’s potential to build a “complete” and calmed two-way street network downtown, Irv has shown neither an interest in, nor an aptitude for, any semblance of intellectual honesty.

His self-appointed task is evangelistic, to find fissures and to exploit them mercilessly – to foster division for the maintenance of the status quo, not so much of street direction itself as the prevailing local economic power structure.

A rebuttal is merited on both counts, and in formulating it, my only exception to the rule of discretion is Mark Seabrook, for reasons that should be obvious. As a funereal politician, High Commissioner Seabrook likes to have it both ways, and accordingly, I enjoy giving it back to him, good and hard, on a tarnished silver platter.

Someone’s got to do it, at least until the electorate has the good sense to turn him out.

---

What we have before us are several sheets of paper stapled together, with an introductory prelude written by a preschooler.

Exactly who has chosen to buy into Irv’s drivel?

Not very many, at least once the petition has been edited into vague comprehensibility, and as such, we can begin our sad survey of Irv’s bogus “survey” by consolidating repetitious entries, as when several signatures appear on behalf of a single business.

These duplications account for roughly 15% of the total signatures on the document. Out they go.

Next to be removed are the names of those companies who’ve already publicly voted against street grid reform by joining the 800-lb reigning Tsar Padgett in threatening to sue the city (see “lawyers at their feeding troughs,” below).

Irv would like us to believe that each time he goes pandering, a fresh new wave of like-minded drones materializes. Alas, this isn't the case. His latest petition is littered with the usual suspects, and we already have been made painfully aware of their opposition to street grid modernity.

So, chuck 'em.

Moreover, a typical business’s employees (as opposed to its owners) are in most cases unauthorized to represent their employer’s interests. Their signatures can be set aside; I've already fact-checked two instances of this occurring without management’s knowledge, and I'd guess there are at least a half-dozen more.

Nice try, but no dice.

C’mon, Irv. You should at least stick around long enough to speak with the person in charge.

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What about “survey” signatories who don't actually live in New Albany?

Seeing as the pompous perpetual power-brokering windbag (and high commissioner) Seabrook has informed the newspaper that street direction opinions from people who "don't live here" cannot be trusted, we must take the conniving time-server at his word, and immediately dismiss the dozen-plus business owners who are opposed to two-way streets, but as yet reside outside city limits.

(Personally, I’d be inclined to accept the signatures of these out-of-town business owners, since they’re investing something concrete in New Albany, but who am I to dispute High Commissioner Seabrook’s stellar reasoning?)

Which makes this a good juncture for a digression.

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Consider these mad-as-hell downtown business owners living elsewhere, generally in sedate rural settings, safely segregated from urban neighborhoods obviously intended by God herself to use as industrial corridors, and yet they are grievously offended that "a very vocal group" of homeowners (read: homo-owner-sexuals) who actually DO live downtown, “on the east side of the city,” keep insisting on measures to improve the quality of life in their neighborhood.

The unmitigated gall.

If all the city slickers agreed to be herded into a housing project by the crane works, just think how high profit margins might go!

Aren’t urban dwellers supposed to be inconvenienced by industrial activities that wouldn’t be permitted anywhere near the business owners’ homes?

Concurrently, I'm absolutely comfortable in guessing that 85% or more of Irv’s "survey" signatories are white males well past the age of 50, and as such, readers are invited to do their own social justice deprivation mathematics.

Be forewarned, for it’s a grim sum, indeed.

Various “survey” blatherings about safety and common sense are pure unadulterated hokum, appended as afterthoughts, doing little to obscure the basic fact that Irv's tireless solicitation of respectable people is directed primarily toward the preservation of local white male power elites, of which he is a part, as underwritten by self-appointed pillars of suitability, of whom he is one, and who aren’t saying that streets must be kept as currently configured to ease the passage of trucks and heavy machinery alone.

No, it’s much more than this.

What they're really saying is that people not operating vehicles powered by internal combustion engines have absolutely no right to the road, and by definition, respectable people do, because they have cars, trucks and motorcycles.

In fact, Irv’s purported “survey” is a document detailing social judgments borne of class warfare, not engineering conclusions.

Tiger's owner Joe Zeller ominously tooted this particular dog whistle at last week's public meeting, noting that whenever them dainty Spandex bicyclists get too close to one of his fully erect 18-wheelers – well, hell, we all know who always wins such confrontations, just sayin’, WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE, and it’s certainly not any of Zeller’s responsibility to cede a square inch of tarmac ON A PUBLIC ROAD to make such conflicts less likely.

Rather, as Irv told BOW in high dudgeon, any piddling pedestrian scared of high-speed street traffic best get his spindly yellow ass up on the sidewalk, where his kind belongs.

To repeat: Irv’s absurd “survey” is about who belongs, who does not belong … and who decides, and in High Commissioner Seabrook, Irv has an eager applicant for the task of tattoo artist.

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A handful of attorneys also signed the petition, probably from the mistaken notion it was a paycheck. I believe each one of them has either suckled at the teat of Seabrook's tender GOP in the past, or continues to do so now.

Are their expressions of concern for trucking public safety genuine, or are they applying a little more Astroglide for the process of saying what must be said, so as to facilitate the continued wetting of beaks, considering that the most persistent opponent of street sensibility other than Irv is a Floyd County Commissioner and Republican Party stalwart named Mark Seabrook? After all, they're lawyers, serving on councils and committees.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go take a shower.

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Finally, I don't begrudge the stated "opposition" to two-way streets on the part of a duo of specific signatories whom I know personally.

Except that I've been around them long enough to know their beef with the city has nothing to do with streets. Their non-directional complaints with City Hall probably are legitimate, but their signatures on Irv's petition are plainly irrelevant.

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When the smoke has cleared and the mirrors have all shattered, Irv’s jihadist screed adds up to far less than the sum of its ballyhooed parts. What does it tell us?

Just this.

In the past few years, dozens of new businesses have been established in downtown New Albany. Of these newer businesses, less than a half-dozen of them deigned to sign Irv's most recent poison pen petition.

This may be because Irv simply didn’t bother approaching the ones he knew would ignore him, or he conveniently forgot to record their true feelings after a series of swinging doors graced the fabric around his posterior. From beginning to end, Irv’s petition has been a contrived exercise in propaganda, one that never was intended to be scientific, and he feels no compunction whatever about spinning yarns.

Significantly, these many new businesses – the ones NOT rallying around Irv’s white flag of capitulation – symbolize the future of downtown New Albany as an inclusive, diverse and representative modern economic and residential entity.

Appropriately, this new breed of downtown business owner hasn’t once advocated for the exclusion of crane operators, veneer companies, wholesalers, funeral homes and trans-shippers, but merely sought civic equality, and as it stands, HWC’s street grid plan represents a compromise for all downtown stakeholders.

Why isn’t this compromise sufficient, Irv?

Mr. High Commissioner?

Almost unanimously, New Albany’s new generation of downtown business owners has rejected Irv’s desperate entreaties to keep New Albany configured for the rapidly diminishing past, as opposed to a constantly evolving future.

Ironically, then, Irv has done the city a great and purely unintended favor. In his blind zeal to discredit the future, he has revealed the obstructionist obstinacy of his own coddled ilk in refusing to compromise for the betterment of all.

For this, I think both Irv and Mark deserves plaques, to be permanently embedded by a crosswalk beneath our feet in the pavement of a two-way street.

I'll take great pleasure in walking there.

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September 29: ON THE AVENUES 3-PK, PART TWO: Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the city (still) with the hex (2014).

September 29: ON THE AVENUES 3-PK, PART ONE: Chocolate covered frozen banana republic, or "understanding" Harvest Homecoming, our peculiar institution (2014).

September 22: ON THE AVENUES: On two-way streets, a modest proposal for the consideration of my disoriented one-way counterpart.

September 15: ON THE AVENUES Now for my next amazing conversion trick (KABOOM!!!) – look at those pretty windows on Schmitt Furniture.

Saturday, August 06, 2016

Short-term spending to buy votes? How can Steve Bonifer be AGAINST this without threatening the tranquility of the next family picnic?


It's hard to read in this admittedly hurried photo, but here are the circled words, indicating a fact of Indiana governing life that the government teacher intends to change ...

Short term money is put toward infrastructure and other problems to secure votes in an election year. 

... just not in New Albany. I mean, bro-in-law is fairly enamored of the practice, isn't he?

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

The ceaselessness of miracles: Re-election secured, Jeff Gahan suddenly is made aware of public housing.


Nothing said in this latest instance of govt by press release is mysterious, or hasn't been known before.
Discussions Underway Concerning Public Housing (TASS, via New Albany City Hall)

“We are committed to working with the New Albany Housing Authority Commissioners and Director in order to develop a long-term plan and strategy for public housing – one which invests and preserves some crucial public housing units, reduces density by moving to a more scattered site model as adopted by HUD, and assesses our ability to provide and maintain current levels of quality public housing units,” stated Mayor Gahan.

Translated: Because they're going to force us to do the right thing at some point, we'll pretend it's our idea, and commence the long New Albany tradition of dragging our feet to the finish line.

Just because the sun rose today doesn't mean Gahan hoisted it. We all know scattered site housing is better for real, living public housing residents, but the rubber meets tarmac when these platitudes are detailed -- where and how?

Will Gahan typically claim responsibility for the federal tax credits that have been pursued by the housing authority for years?

Why shouldn't affordable housing be part of the Summit Springs mini-Ceausescu project?

And, whatever happened to two-way streets?

Can we riot yet?

I should add that I'm glad this finally has become a public topic,if only for the five-minute life span of city propaganda spoutings. Last year would have been a fine time to discuss it, seeing there was an election, but Gahan was mum then.

Sadly, it speaks volumes.

Friday, March 04, 2016

Who even knew City Hall had its own agitprop web site? Meet newalbanycityhall.com/

Note the change in font color from red to blue.


That's right: It's New Albany City Hall.

Official News and Information about the City of New Albany directly from the Mayor's office. You can also keep up with our full calendar of events by clicking HERE.

Apparently the city's official site does not allow for sufficient glorification, so allow me to offer this idea:

Monday, February 01, 2016

Pass the vodka: Question-free water park as economic development.


If New Albany's water slide is intended in the same vein as the Roman Empire's bread and circuses (it is), and if Clarksville's version of the same is set for closure this summer (it is), then isn't New Albany facing its own catastrophic refugee crisis, with hordes of impoverished easterners coming across our borders and parking their jalopies on taxpayer lawns the length of Daisy Lane?

These are hard questions, so don't look here.

New Albany officials expect big year at water park (N and T)

It's great that the reporter made sure to ask whether water park benefits were jibing with costs, and asked for the numbers to prove ... what?

He didn't?

Outside, it's still New Gahania.