BREAKING: What's a mayoral personality cult without a delicious classic snack stroll?

Following Jeff Gahan's big money is an arduous task, but the Green Mouse has been under the weather these past few days. Our examination of Gahan's #CultureOfCorruption will resume shortly.

The Jeff Gahan Money Machine, Part 6: GM Development, yet another economic development consultancy from afar.

The Jeff Gahan Money Machine, Part 5: In 2019, Gahan will pass the half million dollar mark in campaign fundraising since 2011.

The Jeff Gahan Money Machine, Part 4: The Estopinol Group and Cripe Architects are just two facets of River Run Waterpark's fertilizing effect.

The Jeff Gahan Money Machine, Part 3: Eight-year donor Terry Ginkins and a consistency of beak-wetting.

The Jeff Gahan Money Machine, Part 2: Of fire stations, amphitheater studies and Axis Architecture and Interiors of Indianapolis.

The Jeff Gahan Money Machine, Part 1: Mysterious CRS Marketing and the inevitable HWC Engineering tie-in.

Our out-of-touch, tone-Deaf Gahan, bought and paid for by special interests. Let's hear YOUR stories about Gahan's #CultureOfCorruption.

For a second consecutive day, City Hall ineffectually defends its abysmal record of tree abuse.

It's worth remembering the project's grandiloquent official title: Mt. Tabor Road Restoration and Pedestrian Safety Project.

Except that in today's City Hall spoon-feeding, nothing much is written about "safety." There's a small bit about "restoration," then the tired blurb flies off the rails with another rote defense of Jeff Gahan's amazing, quasi-Biblical record of inerrancy.

This time it's Krisjans Streips' turn to reveal that City Hall is developing an escalating sensitivity about Gahan's horrid deforestation habit.

Of course, it should be a relatively simple matter to ask for evidence of all these tree replantings. Surely the Tree Board and all of Gahan's overstuffed contractor buddies have retained records, correct?

Which reminds me: I did ask, 18 months ago.

2016 council budget hearing: Money for the Tree Board to cut trees, or plant them?

Back in May I attended a Tree Board meeting in search of information about its meetings, which I requested from the board's staff person, Krisjans Streips. This particular ray of sunshine has yet to break through Team Gahan's patented Transparency Prevention Modulator, but I digress.

You already know the answer: zilch; nada; ничего ... crickets chirping, pins dropping, and somewhere a lonesome mutt wailing.

Thanks for reading NA Confidential, dudes. The more you ignore us, the closer we get.

Mt. Tabor Road Project to Begin in Summer 2018

 ... In preparation of the project and to accommodate utility relocation, a contractor will be trimming and removing certain trees within the right-of-way along Mt. Tabor Road. By performing the utility relocation in advance of the full project, the city hopes to reduce the construction time of the overall project. These trees will be marked in advance. All property owners were compensated for trees that will be removed as part of the project, and the city will make efforts, similar to other areas and projects around New Albany, to repopulate the tree canopy.

“The City is making it a priority to improve the tree canopy,” stated stated Krisjans Streips, Chief City Planner and Tree Board Administrator. “Hundreds of trees have been planted in parks and on the Greenway, and trees will be replaced along the public right of way at a 3:1 ratio. This is a great safety, drainage, and road reconstruction project all rolled into one.”

Gahan in eclipse? It isn't heroin, it's #HereIAm ...

Nope, nothing much has changed since May, when even the News and Tribune noticed.

Editor Duncan pithily calls out New Albany in the newspaper's "Crossroads of Crisis" series finale.

A friend posted this photo yesterday on Facebook.

Nothing to see there. Just so long as it isn't in eyesight of luxury housing.

NA Confidential persists in reprinting these instructions for the safe disposal of syringes and sharps, as found on the city of Louisville's web site. In New Albany, Team Gahan has chosen to mimic Ronald Reagan's response to the AIDS crisis by saying nothing at all.

Here are the search results.

Nope.

#HisNA isn't very sharp, even if plenty of them are scattered around, pretending to be pine needles. Maybe what we really have is an overdose of Disney Think.

Hoard this: Contest concludes as Clint finds the "Entrance to Jeff Gahan's Down Low Bunker."

Nailed it.

So THIS is why the hoarder's belongings haven't been cleared away.

They're just a front for the secret door.

And what if the alleged "City Hall" website also is part of the subterfuge? An alert book reader explains our doubts:

No official city seal, and with the city already possessing a web site of its own?

Sure sounds like #OurFakeMayor to me.

Consequently, the following might be regarded as satirical, although whether real or imagined, we know for sure that Deaf Gahan didn't write these words.

Take it away, Mike Hall!

Mayor Gahan Addresses Concerns and Shares History of Hausfeldt Property

Below is a brief history of our efforts to understand and mitigate the conditions at the private property on Hausfeldt Lane. Once again, the property has been in the news and it has become a concern to a number of residents. Please read, copy, and share this with others. Your efforts to share this information will greatly help us take steps to improve the condition there, but equally important, it will help others understand our desire to protect the property rights and the privacy of the landowner. This is a very unusual problem, and we are working closely with the courts to resolve it in a manner which is respectful to all parties.

Thanks everyone,
Mayor Jeff Gahan

Previously: It's a photo contest! "Let's Find the Entrance to Jeff Gahan's Down Low Bunker."

Fake facts and disgraceful behavior: Jeff Gahan faced opposition to his public housing putsch, so now he's seeking to discredit NAHA with propaganda.

Breathtaking propaganda, borne of Jeff Gahan's ongoing housing authority property grab.

Has he yet spoken with a single resident?

NAHA Maintenance Issues Brought to Attention of Mayor

Infuriated with those who have had the temerity to question Gahan's trumpsterian assault on public housing, Gahan's dim-pire is striking back with leering grins and innuendo.

Perhaps being compelled to forego the State Senate race is making Deaf all intemperate.

Notice that the press release begins with a triumphant listing of recent measures taken to absorb and demolish the NAHA, such as Gahan's refusal to appoint members to the housing authority's board until he could pack it with drooling sycophants loyal to Gahan (and for that matter, Adam Dickey).

Only then are a handful of photos posted, purporting to depict maintenance issues that probably stem from what was, in effect, Gahan's months-long refusal to cooperate with NAHA's own timetables for maintenance and unit replacement. Reduce them to penury, then attack them for being poor.

Can someone -- anyone -- explain to us how Gahan is a Democrat?

Of course, the only transparent act Gahan's ever committed is doing whatever he can contrive to discredit former NAHA director Bob Lane, which is the best reason for us to surmise that Lane's fighting back since Gahan's handpicked board of servile, bootlicking toadies fired him on Deaf's direct orders.

Typically, by doing so Gahan is slurring every last employee of the housing authority, higher or lower -- but nothing new there for a man whose reputation among ordinary city workers resembles that of Captain Queeg.

Wow.

How much lower can Gahan sink?

City Hall describes the four major projects to be funded (in part?) through the Horseshoe Foundation's $5 million gift.

Earlier, we had video from today's ceremony.

horseshoe-foundation.html" style="color: #333333; text-decoration: none;">Cosmetic surgery: Horseshoe Foundation gives Jeff Gahan $5 million to spend on whatever he damn well pleases.

There'll be time for further discussion.

Until then, following is the city's press release -- Team Gahan's own words and illustrations, offered without comment.

One clarification: The segment of Market Street pictured below is between W. 1st and Pearl. 

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horseshoe-foundation-gives-5-million-gift-to-city">Horseshoe Foundation Gives $5 Million Gift to City

This morning, at a media event at the scenic Riverfront Amphitheater, the Horseshoe Foundation of Floyd County awarded a $5 million gift to the City of New Albany.

"On behalf of the City of New Albany, I'd like to express my sincere thanks for this extraordinary gift from the Horseshoe Foundation of Floyd County," stated Mayor Jeff Gahan. "Their generous gift will benefit the City of New Albany for years to come."

The gift is to help fund projects in downtown New Albany and along the Ohio River Greenway. Four major projects will be funded through this generous gift from the Horseshoe Foundation of Floyd County.

Additions Along the Ohio River Greenway

As the original Ohio River Greenway Project nears completion, a few areas surrounding it are in need of some revitalization.

One project aims at developing the Loop Island Wetlands into a nature preservation area, and encouraging residents to take part in and enjoy the natural beauty of the area. The Ohio River Greenway Project aims to bring increased tourism to the area, encourage healthy lifestyles, and improve the overall quality of life of residents, and this project will assist the Greenway in those goals. The nature preserve, in addition with other beautification efforts on site, will create a beautiful space to relax and reconnect to our roots as a river community.

Along the western edge of the Ohio River Greenway, river recreation reigns supreme. Plans for this section include campgrounds, canoe and kayak launch off points, docks/slips, fuel pumps, a boat house and boat ramp, and more.

"For years, access to our natural waterways here in New Albany has been limited," stated Mayor Jeff Gahan. "These projects, and others like the Silver Creek Access project, will help us reconnect to our river heritage."

Market Street Promenade

This project aims at both beautifying and improving the safety and walkability of the Market Street corridor, while retaining the unique historic feel. It will include enhanced crosswalks and intersections with decorative pavers, improved pedestrian safety and walkability, all with a focus on the historic character of the area. Work will also be done to enhance the overall tree canopy with native and proper species, and improve the landscaping and foilage for both beautification and improved safety and sight-lines.

Downtown Facade Improvements

New Albany has a plethora of beautiful, historic buildings in its downtown. Unfortunately, over the years, some of these buildings have had windows shuttered and closed off, original brick walls painted over, and historic character lost. Some buildings have even been painted together to appear as one structure. This project will seek to revitalize, refurbish, and redevelop buildings and facades in the downtown area, reinvigorating these historic strcutures to their original historic look, including improved windows and uncovered original brickwork.

Riverfront Overlook

The current overlook for the New Albany Riverfront Amphitheater has served its purpose for many years overlooking the beautiful Ohio River. However, after many years, it is time to look at updating this structure. This project will both study and redevelop the structure into a more usable and friendly location for residents and visitors to gather and view the majestic Ohio River, along with events and festivals along the riverfront property.

ON THE AVENUES: It’s our big fat Hibbardendum, and Jeff Gahan is carrying the superintendent across the threshold as Metro United Way tosses rice and One Southern Indiana steals all the liquor.

ON THE AVENUES: It’s our big fat Hibbardendum, and Jeff Gahan is carrying the superintendent across the threshold as Metro United Way tosses rice and One Southern Indiana steals all the liquor.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

It's extremely bad form for Gahan to be using our tax dollars to push the referendum. Yet one more reason to vote no. Also noteworthy along ethical lines is how the PAC (Families For Floyd County) threatened to sue last time over a bunch of neighbors putting out yard signs but seem to have no problem with this. The longer this type of chicanery goes on, the less I and others are inclined to financially support those who so consistently perform it.
-- Bluegill

On October 31 a typically breathless post appeared at New Albany's stand-alone City Hall web site, which begs the first of many questions almost certain to remain unasked by local reporters, their perennial omissions being why I crawl back from my stupor most weeks to make some semblance of an effort in this space, because damn it, someone should.

Why does City Hall need its own official web site when the City of New Albany already has one?

There it was, a strange Twilight Zone head-scratcher of a pre-election promo by an elected political entity, for a property tax referendum to which it has no direct connection – unless, of course, Mayor Jeff Gahan already has plotted a wee puddle for campaign finance beak-wetting amid $87 million, and yes, while they may be little puddles, they cumulatively add up to more than small beer.

Did you know that in 2015, Dan Cristiani Excavating was one of the city’s best-remunerated vendors at $650,214?

Just a spoonful of beak-wetting elixir from a splash pad like this goes a long way in staging a State Senate race, doesn’t it?

Right, Jeff?

Right, Chuck?

C’mon, guys, who is it going to be? Inquiring minds want to know ... and flee.

As an aside, in September, when the Floyd County Democratic Party publicly endorsed the Hibbardendum, teacher/candidate/sacrificial lamb/bro-in-law Steve Bonifer introduced the enabling resolution, prompting yet another question.

Who’ll be the next AARP-member teacher to run against incumbent Ed Clere in 2018?

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City Hall’s virtual advertisement boosting the Hibbardendum sought yet again to convey the heroic inevitability of the NA-FC school corporation’s ballot initiative, primarily by gathering together in one spot as many slavish endorsements by local elites as permitted by OSHA standards of pile-driven redundancy. It slipped around like a greased pig, from one presumed community pillar to the next.

It was as though Team Gahan's functionaries were slouched on a grimy one-way street corner selling NA anchor seal pencils, apparently without a parks opening ribbon to cut or a tax abatement to lavish on reluctant industrial park occupants, its shiny paean of a press release apple being polished, and celebrating the Hibbardendum by endeavoring mightily to toss any remaining intellectual integrity out the window.

Something that's awfully hard to do when you inhabit a bunker.

There was a predictable reminder of Gahan’s previous personal endorsement, presumably written by one of his many immediate family members employed by … that’s right, the school corporation. You could tell Gahan didn't write it himself, as it came perilously close to coherence.

After touring the schools and reviewing the conditions in New Albany and Floyd County, I am excited to support the many improvements in store for our students in New Albany-Floyd County Schools.

Or, translated: “Ask not what Bruce Hibbard can do for you, ask what you can do for Bruce Hibbard.” It’s not exactly JFK, but at least spellcheck was activated.

Next came a gushing tout from the Southern Indiana Realtors Association.

“We fully support the NAFCS Referendum which will bring much needed improvements to nine area schools,” stated Sara White, President-elect of the Southern Indiana Realtors Association and managing broker for Semonin Realtors Southern Indiana.

Try finding it on SIRA’s web site; more on that in a moment.

My personal favorite was the link to a letter from Tsar Hibbard himself, a man whose bags have been kept packed since arrival, 24-7-365, in expectation of verdant pastures to come, just over that glorious horizon where the golden parachutes grow like greenhouse ganja ... if Prosser were located in California.

In this era of competition for students, NAFCS is doing quite well. For the sixth consecutive school year, we have a record of number of transfer students! This provides our operating fund with over four million dollars of added revenue. Why are so many people choosing NAFCS? Our leadership team believes there is a simple answer: It’s our teachers and support staff. We have the hardest working, incredibly intelligent and most collaborative group of people working with our students. Furthermore, our entire staff embraces a model based upon results and improvement. This is why NAFCS provides our community with highly rated rigorous academic programs, championship athletic teams and world-class performing arts.

Please Vote “Yes” for NAFCS!

Given that Hibbard and the school system are prohibited from engaging in pro-referendum agitprop, this paragraph is highly instructive. It reveals that the primary mission of today’s school corporation is to lure students away from other neighboring school corporations, hence the importance of artificial turf on football fields and gold-plated bathroom fixtures last seen being looted from a fleeing Mobutu’s presidential palace in Zaire.

Consequently, when it came time to design a graphic interface for recruitment signs, a remarkable coincidence occurred. The imagery of saying “yes” to the general concept of NA-FC schools almost exactly mirrored that of saying “yes” to this particular property tax referendum, such that when Hibbard closes his pep talk with a resounding “yes” to schools, well, he’s not saying anything about the vote, just the rah-rah.

Clever devils, aren’t they?

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Wile E. Coyote isn’t the only genius enrolled in this adult education outreach program.

According to City Hall, One Southern Indiana has thrown its considerable dead-as-roadkill weight behind the Hibbardendum, as Wendy Dant Chesser indicated in a letter to the News and Tribune, dated October 30, though found only on City Hall's web site, not anywhere on the newspaper's, except that interestingly, on September 19, in a newspaper article about the Democratic Party’s gratifyingly Boniferian resolution, it was mentioned that 1Si already had endorsed it.

Well, hell, everyone has endorsed it.

The NAACP, the NCAA, the SPCA, the CIA, the FBI, the city’s fire chief, its police chief, the building commissioner, and surely five or six bushels of indifferent city officials and employees who astutely reason that their failure to be seen plumping for the featherbedding might result in skinnier pay packets, or even worse, a 1:00 a.m. phone call from His Serene Highness.

Couldn't they at least get their dates straight?

Meanwhile, with the upper strata ready to start moving some dirt, Metro United Way has made a late entry into the fray with this.

Just today, committed community partners Metro United Way released an endorsement of the NAFCS Referendum.

“Metro United Way’s top priorities are for our young children to arrive at kindergarten prepared to succeed and for our students to graduate on time, prepared for college, life and career. We are also know that learning environments play a large role in student success. That is why, we are hopeful that the New Albany Floyd County School referendum will be embraced by the Floyd County community on November 8th,” stated Joe Tolan, President & CEO of Metro United Way.

Just like City Hall’s recitation of the Southern Indiana Realtors Association servile bootlicking, Metro United Way’s mash note seems to exist at no other planetary portal than City Hall’s own propaganda arm.

Why?

Since Tuesday, I’ve been asking Metro United Way for clarification. I was asked to please move the conversation from public social media (where folks can see it) to private messaging (where they can't), and I did, with the entirely expected result being three days of absolute do-nothing stonewalling.

Metro United Way, whose board includes a who's who of regional luminaries, including NAFC schools lifer Dr. Louis Jensen, briefly waved off questions about its 501(c)3 non-profit status before retreating into hiding.

How is this organization in any position to "endorse" the Hibbardendum?

Moreover, and the overall gist of my rant, why is the city of New Albany expending tax dollars to serve as the central information, argumentum ad verecundiam portal in support of the school corporation’s pitch for property tax dollars?

Were the SIRA and Metro United Way testimonials handed directly to Gahan?

Does Gahan work for the citizens of New Albany, or Bruce Hibbard?

I’m reminded of the top-down tone of pre-Brexit in the United Kingdom, as every last representative of usual-suspect officialdom took a turn shilling for a “stay” vote, perhaps never bothering to look outside, at the restless and sometimes angry crowds, their middle fingers raised to the heavens, because how many times must one be compelled to remind these wankers in official circles that the usual finger-wagging hypocrites quite simply are loathed?

To close, I’ll speak for myself, and for me alone.

I’ve never been cut from the anti-tax bolt of cloth. My mom was a teacher, and I've been around teachers my whole life. We’ve no children, but are perfectly willing to pay our fair share for education.

However, as with the vote that preceded it, the stated terms of this referendum are fundamentally deceptive. The chicanery accompanying them is rampant and frankly odious. This exercise is about bright shiny objects, not the education of kids. This is not a community discussion about the future of education. It’s a top-down edict, and a call for the rabble to bow to their betters, form a line and stand in order.

Consequently, it's no wonder Mayor Gahan is so attached to the grandeur of the Hibbardendum. It's exactly the same level of Disneymandered Potemkin Village Boondoggling that prefaces the sluices of his municipal governance in New Albany. The greased pig I mentioned earlier? He's in slop.

I'm ready to have a community-wide discussion about what's best for children. Anytime, anywhere -- and this referendum isn't it. Not even close. I voted against it, and I understand this act will offend some readers.

But I believe the opprobrium should be directed against the school corporation's upper management, especially Hibbard, because in the process of making a bad case for its own bad idea, it has insulted our intelligence, again, and again, and again.

In the end, it wasn't necessary for me to take into consideration the phalanx of "business as usual" pimps brought together by the Genius of the Flood Plain to perform some soft shoe and clink a few glasses.

But thanks just the same, mayor. The refresher course is much appreciated, and I'll just pass on the entree.

(Updated on Sunday, November 6)

Our big fat Hibbardendum (1): Follow the PAC-besotted usual suspects' beak wetting in the $87 million schools referendum. 

Our big fat Hibbardendum (2): The more things stay the same, or our school bond referendum, 2016.

Our big fat Hibbardendum (3): City voters, take note, because just as in 2015, the NA-FC bond referendum is a "driving oriented, suburban school model."

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October 27: ON THE AVENUES: It's NAC's 12th birthday, and the beatings will continue until morale improves.

October 20: ON THE AVENUES: Key events in the New Albanian rebirth, but first, a piccolo of grappa, per favore.

October 13: ON THE AVENUES: They're coming to take me away.

October 6: ON THE AVENUES: His nose knows tolls and polls (2010).

A new buzz phrase enters City Hall's bunker-speak: "Downtown Grid Modernization Project." We believe it's a synonym for "non-existent."

Shane's getting two vocabulary words this week.

Kremlinology: The art of observing, deducing and guessing what is really happening within a secretive organization. (So called from the Kremlin, headquarters of the top government leaders in the Communist era Soviet Union.)

And so it is that in New Albany, we must resort to Bunkerology, minutely examining the nuance and wording of press releases in an effort to fathom the gist of nods and winks being exchanged between the denizens of the Down Low Bunker.

Unexpectedly and after a long silence, City Hall spoke twice today. Our crack team of gin drinkers immediately spotted a mysterious phrase common to each press release.

The first (underlined) isn't capitalized.

City Receives $1 Million Grant For Road Improvements

 ... The grant, totaling $1 million, will go towards improving street infrastructure within the city of New Albany. Three projects were submitted by the City of New Albany for consideration in the Community Crossings program: the city-wide paving project, the full reconstruction of Bono Road, and the downtown grid modernization project.

“We are thrilled to receive these funds that will help us continue to improve our infrastructure throughout the city,” stated Mayor Jeff Gahan.

But the second is.

City Works to Minimize Morning Commute Traffic Congestion During Construction

 ... “These traffic congestion issues are the product of many factors, including the interchange re-construction and traffic accidents. We are doing our best to ensure that we are reviewing all traffic patterns and how we can best accommodate them during these construction periods. Long-term, we hope that these issues will be mitigated by our Downtown Grid Modernization Project,” stated Mayor Jeff Gahan.

Of course, we quickly surfed to the city's site and searched this hitherto unknown term.

Foiled again by the Eastridge Encryptor. Perhaps if we subpoenaed the minutes of the East Spring Street Neighborhood Association ...

Dangerous intersections: Something for Greg Phipps to consider, though it's unlikely they will.

Amid the craters of recently paved 5th Street, a safe haven.

Let's return to the city's press release yesterday. Ignore the bad grammar in the last sentence.

Additional infrastructure improvements include numerous changes to local roads and streets. McDonald Lane is being expanded and improved to allow for better traffic flow. Spring Street in downtown is receiving major improvements at dangerous intersections to help improve both safety, traffic, and pedestrian accessibility.

A regular blog reader delves more succinctly, and it raises another valid question of the sort asked by malcontents:

How did those intersections come to be dangerous, and if we knew, why has it taken so many years to (feebly) address the fact?

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Two things come to mind when reading this press release:

1) Only "dangerous intersections"? How many are there and how are they determined? By pedestrian death count?

Why not address every intersection in the same manner, so pedestrians and drivers can come to understand the importance of crosswalks within the city?

Spotty, piece-meal "solutions" prove there is no real plan, just lazy, knee jerk reaction.

2) "Accessibility" is a bullshit word used to sound impressive. Every intersection in New Albany is already "accessible" by walkers (although not by those in wheelchairs).

Most of the intersections on Spring Street are simply not safe for pedestrians to cross due to the street's one way width and traffic speed.

The missing word is "safety" - as in "pedestrian safety" - and the reason the city won't use that phrase is they don't want to make any promises of real effort.

I'm surprised that Mr. Phipps isn't more concerned about pedestrians dying while simply trying to cross the street in the Spring Street neighborhood district. New Albany citizens asking for safer cross walks are "malcontents"?

The next victim will be someone's daughter or son, father or mother, grandmother or grandfather, neighbor or friend.

"Malcontents"?

Really?

City Hall crassly exploits the death of a walker in order to brag about its achievements.

Last week, Chloe Allen was killed trying to cross Spring Street.

On Tuesday, an ironic municipal entity officially known as the Board of Works and Public Safety had its weekly meeting, and in a room filled with city functionaries, all of whom are charged with one or the other aspect of public safety, not a single word was mentioned about the woman who was killed trying to cross the street.

Last evening at the second of two monthly city council meetings, Dan Coffey raised the issue of the woman who was killed trying to cross the street, and there was a discussion. Al Knable had mentioned it earlier in the day in a social media post.

Also on social media, Greg Phipps expressed annoyance with those of us who feel that it is a public official's responsibility to speak to matters of the public's interest -- especially when those matters pertain to safety.

Phipps referred to "malcontents" in this context.

When the woman was killed trying to cross the street, it was clear there'd be no comment from the mayor and his closest associates directly addressing the situation, but surprisingly, a press release appeared on Thursday.

Finances and Operations on Track and Under Budget

In it, Chloe Allen was not mentioned. Rather, it reviewed the administration's many glowing achievements.

There are 460 words in the press release, including the title, and the very last two words of these are "pedestrian accessibility."

Spring Street in downtown is receiving major improvements at dangerous intersections to help improve both safety, traffic, and pedestrian accessibility.

Take a closer look at this sentence, specifically the word "both."

We can surmise that as originally written, before a woman was killed trying to cross the street, the sentence probably read like this:

"Spring Street in downtown is receiving major improvements at dangerous intersections to help improve both safety and traffic."

But after a woman died trying to cross the very same street, "pedestrian accessibility" was hastily inserted.

Inserted as an afterthought.

Inserted because, as the Bored of Public Works proved abundantly on Tuesday, walkability is always an afterthought, whether or not it is adorned with the egregious multiple syllables of bureaucratese.

It would appear that crass exploitation cuts both ways in New Albany, and if this makes me a malcontent, I can live with it.

Unfortunately, Chloe Allen had no such choice.

Who even knew City Hall had its own agitprop web site? Meet newalbanycityhall.com/

Note the change in font color from red to blue.

That's right: It's New Albany City Hall.

Official News and Information about the City of New Albany directly from the Mayor's office. You can also keep up with our full calendar of events by clicking HERE.

Apparently the city's official site does not allow for sufficient glorification, so allow me to offer this idea: