Showing posts with label The Usual Suspects. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Usual Suspects. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Is there a -cracy word for government by the beautiful people?


There's a song by Marilyn Manson called "The Beautiful People," but my first recollection of the phrase is from The Beatles.

[Verse 1]
How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
Now that you know who you are
What do you want to be?
And have you traveled very far?
Far as the eye can see

[Verse 2]
How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
How often have you been there?
Often enough to know
What did you see when you were there?
Nothing that doesn't show

[Chorus]
Baby, you're a rich man
Baby, you're a rich man
Baby, you're a rich man, too
You keep all your money in a big brown bag inside a zoo
What a thing to do
Baby, you're a rich man
Baby, you're a rich man
Baby, you're a rich man, too

The song combined snippets from John Lennon and Paul McCartney.

This song grew from a verse of John’s (“one of the beautiful people”) and a chorus of Paul’s (“baby, you’re a rich man”). The song deals with the celebrity, wealth and fame the Beatles were experiencing at the time, and is sung to their manager Brian Epstein, as they ask him how it feels to be thrust into the limelight as “one of the beautiful people.”

I was a little kid during the "Summer of Love," but evidently the briefly ascendant hippies were referring to themselves as "beautiful people."

Musicologist Walter Everett writes that the song "asks an unnamed Brian Epstein what it's like to be one of the 'beautiful people'"; Everett adds: "This appellation was used of both communal hippies and those who mingle with the most celebrated entertainers." Another interpretation is that the "Beautiful People" verses were meant as a "tip of the hat" to Epstein for finally taking the psychedelic drug LSD. Lennon claimed, however, that the meaning of the song was that everybody is a rich man, saying, "The point was stop moaning. You're a rich man and we're all rich men ..."George Harrison said that the message of the song was that all individuals are wealthy within themselves, regardless of material concerns.

"Those who mingle with the most celebrated entertainers" strikes closer to the heart of the matter, because to me the term "beautiful people" is decidedly pejorative.

It's inevitably the people who fancy themselves as beautiful, not necessarily in some accepted sense of outwardly physical beauty, but those possessing the right ideas, the right look, the right connections and the right way of viewing their privileged place in the world.

Obviously I reserve the right to heatedly differ with "right" in these contexts, extolling a alternative definition in the process.

As an awkward and ungainly ugly duckling of a book reader, I've learned the hard way that trying to fit in with the beautiful people is a fool's errand. Whenever I've tried it, the story has ended badly.

I'm not sure whether these experiences made me into a defiant jaded contrarian or the other way around, but there we are. I've become fairly contemptuous of the self-centered milieu of the beautiful people, who know far less about the world than they profess, and who tend to dismiss the "little people" -- and this may be one reason why Donald Trump is president, among other things.

Rant over, although a clarification is necessary.

The "usual suspects" aren't always synonymous with the "beautiful people." The latter need to be out in front to be seen; selfies were made for them. Conversely, the usual suspects can include those who are in the game for power and money alone. They're the cynics who see the value of leveraging the vanity of others, and are content to remain in the background whenever expedient.

I'm venting owing to an omission. We often use the word "democracy," noting the meaning of the suffix -cracy (government by the people).

60 words ending in -cracy

When you’re tracing the etymology of a word, you’ll find that many roads lead to Greek. A large amount of English word do have their origins in the Hellenic language, although they might’ve entered the English via other routes.

We have already looked at words ending with Greek –phobia, so this time we turn our attention to another word of Greek origin that has produced many words used in English. The combining form –cracy denotes a particular form of government, rule, or influence, and originates in the Greek –kratia, meaning ‘power, rule’. The suffix – cracy did not, however, find its way into English directly via Greek, but has rather been borrowed from French –cratie.

While browsing the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), we found a large number of words using –cracy. Some of them, like democracy, are in frequent use, and will doubtlessly be well-known to you. Others, like logocracy, may be more obscure – or they might’ve even entered the language as nonce words. But read through the list below to see whether you’ll find some new terms to add to your vocabulary.

My question today: What is the word for "government by the beautiful people"?

Is it omorphiocracy?

Omorphia is one of several Greek words for beauty. If any readers have a source for the proper term, please let me know -- and I'll keep it ready to use as an antidote to pomposity.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Phipps, McLaughlin pleasure mayor, oppose Blair's 6th district stormwater impact efforts, but the investigative measure passes council anyway.

The major story to emerge from last week's city council meeting was final approval of an ordinance establishing annual sewer rates increases.

Amid the inevitability, as we debated the suitability of pseudonyms like "bump" and "nudge," City Hall proved that in spite of perennially stunted bunker staff vocabularies, it can play the propaganda game adeptly:

Proactive Steps Taken to Protect New Albany Citizens


George Orwell would be so very proud. Proactive protection! Like a condom to guard against what's going to happen, anyway.

Safeguard residents and businesses against large sewer rate increases by assigning the Consumer Price Index for future rate changes.


In other words, we're safeguarding you against "increases" (not even bumps or nudges) by regulating rate "changes."

Timeless and masterful fecal matter from the business end of a male cow, although I'd like to know how much the imported ghostwriter cost. After all, they're nowhere near this clever, are they?

Okay, okay. I know, so on to Door Number Two.

Representatives of the usual engineering suspects and a handful of civic appointees were on hand at the council meeting to reiterate the municipal party line: As it pertains to stormwater, those Mt. Tabor area residents who insist on trusting their own two eyes instead of the mayor's should be ignored, and The Plan allowed to proceed.

And it probably will, but CM Blair's principled resolution carried, and there will be a stormwater study. It's a rebuke of sorts to the Dear Leader, but he can take heart in the unswerving loyalty of councilmen McLaughlin and Phipps.

Can someone loan me a bucket?

Echoing Hemingway's description of the bottle, a bucket is an agent of sovereign action. You can use it to bail stormwater runoff, vomit into it or toss it a timeserving functionary.

Study to look at Mount Tabor Road project impact on flooding in New Albany, by Elizabeth Beilman (N and T)

Despite city's stance, councilman checks on drainage effects of road project

NEW ALBANY — A stormwater study initiated by New Albany City Councilman Scott Blair will determine whether flooding will worsen for Mount Tabor Road residents because of a nearby road reconstruction, though project officials assure that it won't.

Blair, whose district includes the project area, brought the proposal to the council last week, when it passed with a 6-2 vote. Councilmen Pat McLaughlin and Greg Phipps voted against it.

"This has been a long-term issue," Blair said Tuesday. "A lot of folks who live in the Farmgate neighborhood have experienced flooding in their homes and their back yards."

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Yes, Virginia, it is a sewer rate INCREASE, in spite of what you may have read elsewhere.


The Courier-Journal came a bit late to coverage of New Albany's eleventh hour sewer ordinance, but once fully engaged, the Louisville newspaper correctly grasped the obvious.


Plain, simple, and in keeping with the real-world definition of the word "increase": To make greater, as in number, size, strength, or quality; augment; add to.

C-J reporter Madeleine Winer did not become immersed in semantics.

New Albany City Council approved increasing sewer rates for the third time in the last six years Tuesday night.

The council voted to hike sewer rates by three percent in a 7-1 vote Tuesday night. The rate increase would cover the city’s ongoing improvements to its sewer system and equipment costs as well as the debt it owes on bonds it has used for improvements in the past, city officials said.

The vote is still subject to review by the public and wouldn’t go into effect until next July if passed again by the council.

Bizarrely, almost to the very last gasp, the Jeffersonville News and Tribune -- which entirely missed the sewer ordinance's first reading, and apparently still operates with a bare minimum of editorial supervision -- continued its preference for obfuscating the increase with a series of euphemisms (settle down, Shane: "The substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.")


That's right: An increase as structure change in large face, with "rates raised" coming in small print, although by this point, the ordinance had passed muster and it mattered very little.

Fascinatingly, for a while there, it was almost as though we were witnessing a wordplay competition among current and former newspaper staff members. How many different words can be substituted for the best and most obvious one, increase?

It is to the reporter Beilman's credit that she at least tried to explain. Have you noticed that the News and Tribune's upper management almost never participates in such exchanges on social media, though reporters invariably do?


A knight in shining armor rode to the rescue.


Tweeting on meeting night, reality began seeping into Beilman's dispatches, as it was revealed that the rolling CPI average could be 4% or higher on monthly bills; then again, "bump" and "nudge" are absent numerical thresholds.


Again to Beilman's credit, by the time the article was written, the euphemisms were dead and buried.


I remain bewildered. If the objective of a headline is to grab the reader's attention, then doesn't using the most accurate word (increase) achieve this at the bare expense of four additional letters (bump) and an added word (structure changes)?

In closing, here's a concise introduction to the relationship between journalists and politicians.

What is clear is that the relationship between journalists and politicians can have a significant impact on the functioning of a fair and just society. Politicians make decisions and take action on behalf of the public. Journalists scrutinise those decisions and report the implications to the public.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Bump? Hike? If sewer rates are higher, then that's an increase, by definition.


Tolling is about to begin. Interest rates are going up. Rental property registration and eventual inspection will provide a convenient pretext for property owners to raise prices.

So will sewer rate increases, however justified, even if they're modest, and whether or not they're tied to annual consumer price indexing, or established by the city council, which now proposes to abdicate its rate-setting responsibility via CPI mechanism.

The result will be more out-of-pocket costs for those least able to pay, something so consistently ignored by this top-down "beautiful people's" mayor that it's more difficult than ever to explain how he can continue to pretend being a Democrat.

We remain a city with many citizens living at or below the poverty line, a fact that dog parks and subsidized luxury housing does nothing to dispel.

The newspaper can't be bothered; the publisher (not newsman) is waging weird personal jihad on behalf of his foundation sinecure, and of course, there are more clicks to be derived from True Crime than sewer semantics.

There are numerous distractions elsewhere, but in the face of an effort by the mayor and his council allies to sneak through a sewer rate increase obscured by 40 pages of bonding legalese by means of two quick votes just before Christmas in the aftermath of Trump trauma ... well, it's too much for me.

Someone's got to be the adult dissident around here.

I remember when the self-described Potty Police would be on hand for meetings at the slightest suggestion of a rate hike, and yes, at the time I thought they often were crazed. However, there's no point in living without learning, and it makes sense to me now.

I've done my best to do what they'd have done, and try to spread the word about something that shouldn't be rushed this way. It isn't so much the amount of the rate change. It's the Gahanesque arrogance in the manner of passage, and the simple fact that the city council should be reviewing these rates on a consistent basis, yearly, not acquiescing in convenient last-minute ways to absolve themselves of responsibility.

When Gahan was a councilman, he'd have been out in front with denunciations. Now he's not just the mayor, but he's the salaried sewer board chieftain, too -- and if last week's meeting is any indication, Dan Coffey's back on the mayoral payroll. In 2008, Coffey would have been on full filibuster with a Bic ready to flick.

To repeat: The city council meets this Thursday (December 15) at 7:00 p.m. in the Romper Room on the third floor of the City County Building. At last week's meeting, administration and council proponents were not able to provide any concrete details as to the workings of this proposed CPI mechanism, and this is reason enough to detach it from the ordinance and submit it separately once these relevant details have been provided. 

Following are links to recent NAC articles, followed by contact information for city councilmen. Please make your views known to them.

Don't forget: Back door New Albany sewer rate increases are on tap at city council this Thursday. Are you down with this?


In a major victory for practical stenography, chain newspaper belatedly gets wind of sewer rate increases, helpfully regurgitates Jeff Gahan's talking points, reinforces status quo. Um, thanks.






Contact your council representatives before it's too late.

At-Large – David Aebersold (R), Voted FOR
(812) 944-9823, daebersold@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – David C. Barksdale (R), Voted FOR
(812) 945-1839, dbarksdale@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Al Knable, MD (R), Voted AGAINST
(502) 386-5051, aknable@cityofnewalbany.com

1st District – Dan Coffey (I-D), Voted FOR
(502) 797-8347, dcoffey@cityofnewalbany.com

2nd District – Robert Caesar (D), Voted FOR
(812) 945-8744, rcaesar@cityofnewalbany.com

3rd District – Greg Phipps (D), Voted FOR
(812) 949-8317, gphipps@cityofnewalbany.com

4th District – Patrick McLaughlin (D),Voted FOR
(812) 949-9140, pmclaughlin@cityofnewalbany.com

5th District – Matt Nash (D), Voted FOR
(502) 718-4986, mnash@cityofnewalbany.com

6th District – Scott Blair (I), Voted AGAINST
(812) 697-0128, sblair@cityofnewalbany.com

Monday, December 12, 2016

Don't forget: Back door New Albany sewer rate increases are on tap at city council this Thursday. Are you down with this?


The city council meets this Thursday (December 15) at 7:00 p.m. in the Romper Room on the third floor of the City County Building. Annual sewer rate hikes according to consumer price indexing were tacked at the last minute onto an otherwise reasonable sewer project bonding ordinance, and received approval on the first two of three readings at last week's council meeting.

At last week's meeting, administration and council proponents were not able to provide any concrete details as to the workings of this CPI mechanism, and this is reason enough to detach it from the ordinance and submit separately once these relevant details have been provided.  

Given the mayor's zeal in increasing expenditures, do you really want him saying "trust us, we'll figure it out later" on something as important as guaranteed annual sewer rate increases?

Following are links to recent NAC articles, followed by contact information for city councilmen. Please make your views known to them.

In a major victory for practical stenography, chain newspaper belatedly gets wind of sewer rate increases, helpfully regurgitates Jeff Gahan's talking points, reinforces status quo. Um, thanks.






Contact your council representatives before it's too late.

At-Large – David Aebersold (R), Voted FOR
(812) 944-9823, daebersold@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – David C. Barksdale (R), Voted FOR
(812) 945-1839, dbarksdale@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Al Knable, MD (R), Voted AGAINST
(502) 386-5051, aknable@cityofnewalbany.com

1st District – Dan Coffey (I-D), Voted FOR
(502) 797-8347, dcoffey@cityofnewalbany.com

2nd District – Robert Caesar (D), Voted FOR
(812) 945-8744, rcaesar@cityofnewalbany.com

3rd District – Greg Phipps (D), Voted FOR
(812) 949-8317, gphipps@cityofnewalbany.com

4th District – Patrick McLaughlin (D),Voted FOR
(812) 949-9140, pmclaughlin@cityofnewalbany.com

5th District – Matt Nash (D), Voted FOR
(502) 718-4986, mnash@cityofnewalbany.com

6th District – Scott Blair (I), Voted AGAINST
(812) 697-0128, sblair@cityofnewalbany.com

Friday, December 09, 2016

In a major victory for practical stenography, chain newspaper belatedly gets wind of sewer rate increases, helpfully regurgitates Jeff Gahan's talking points, reinforces status quo. Um, thanks.


Sorry, but you can't convince me that the News and Tribune's persistently hands-off, forgiving attitude toward Jeff Gahan's pants-on-fire municipal edicts DOESN'T have something to do with the sheer volume of advertising revenue contributed by New Albany ratepayers to the 'Bama-based newspaper via Gahan's propaganda commissariat.

Does this make me a conspiracy theorist? Yawn, but so be it.

One thing is absolutely certain: If I were to expend the elbow grease necessary to file public information requests with the city so as to learn the exact amount of advertising revenue aimed at CNHI's coffers, as was suggested to me by a newspaper staffer (naturally, the rag has no intention of telling us), the odds that the New Albany corporate attorney would honestly honor my request are less than zero.

Earth to News and Tribune: See Dalton Trumbo's quote, above. Report back to me if and when you get it. Thanks.

New Albany City Council mulls CPI-based sewer rate bumps; Ordinance to fund remaining EPA mandate projects, by Elizabeth Beilman (News and Tribune)

NEW ALBANY — The New Albany City Council will take a final vote Thursday on implementing annual automatic sewer rate increases in line with inflation.

The increases — measured by the urban consumer price index percentage change from year to year — are intended to prevent massive one-time bumps. If passed, the changes would be implemented in July.

"In the past, the rate has always been somewhat of a political negotiation," New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan said. "That's not healthy for anyone. Suddenly, the residents experience a huge increase in the rates. The CPI will act as a way to protect the residents from exorbitant or huge rate increases."

Thursday, December 08, 2016

Ooh, ooh that SMELL: Jeff Gahan proposes arbitrary CPI pegs to raise sewer rates annually, when sewer rates already are illegally subsidized.


Jeff Gahan, who draws a salary as both mayor of New Albany and head of its sewer board, proposes that in the future, annual sewer rate increases are to be pegged to one or another variants of the Consumer Price Index (CPI) in a formula yet to be identified.

This vague mechanism appeared from nowhere, as appended to a sewer bonding ordinance, and was approved 7-2 in its first two readings, with a final vote coming next Thursday (December 15). As in previous years, city officials are stampeding the vote at year's end, citing tremendous urgency in solving problems no one knew existed until December.

Returning to the concept of pegging sewer rate increases to CPI-something, there is an obvious question that must be answered first: Is the current sewer rate legal?

Many of us believe it isn't. Randy Smith wrote the following in the spring of 2015, and it remains a must read for anyone seeking to understand the year-to-year mishandling of New Albany's sewer utility -- and did I mention that the mayor appointed himself to "run" the sewer utility?

(Bold text added)

Sewer Utility Still Draining Tax Dollars

 ... I had thought the (illegal sewer rate subsidy) chicanery had finally ended when I read last year that the subsidy had been removed. But just to make sure, I perused the city’s 2015 budget. There, to my astonishment, was yet another transfer of $570,000 from the income tax fund (EDIT) to the sewer utility.

I have written at length in the past about the illegality of this transfer. To be brief, while a city in Indiana can own and operate a municipal utility, the finances of that utility must be completely separated from other city funds. That is, the utility must stand on its own, without subsidies of any kind.

With this budget year, Jeff Gahan has in 11 budget years (as a councilman and as mayor) approved more than $10 million in transfers from city taxes to prop up the utility.

One might be of the opinion that using tax dollars to fortify the sewers is a good thing, but none of us are entitled to an opinion on this matter. State law is extremely clear. It’s illegal. (It happens to be illegal in Louisville, too, under a different state’s laws – ref: MSD.)

This misfeasance on the part of the mayor and council subjects the utility itself to the jeopardy of a taxpayer lawsuit to recover these millions of dollars.

However, illegality has become normal in New Albany. It’s not just the law-breaking that New Albany voters need to be aware of as they go to the polls. This transfer is possibly the single dumbest way to divert tax money and demonstrates innumeracy and financial incompetence on the part of the mayor and his advisors.

Also from Randy Smith, this week:

SEWER RATE INCREASE imminent in New Albany. But instead of taking responsibility for setting a legal rate, the city council has voted to begin an automatic rate increase pegged to some version of the Consumer Price Index (CPI). Final vote is on Thursday, December 15. That is not the legal way to set rates. CPI is not an economic variable - it's merely a statistic.

My information is that the wastewater utility needs a rate increase of $0.21 per billing unit, meaning even the lightest user would see a rate increase of about 2.8%. But no CPI will provide those funds, leading back to illegal tax subsidies for the heaviest users of the city-owned utility.

Contact your council representatives before it's too late.

At-Large – David Aebersold (R), Voted FOR
(812) 944-9823, daebersold@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – David C. Barksdale (R), Voted FOR
(812) 945-1839, dbarksdale@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Al Knable, MD (R), Voted AGAINST
(502) 386-5051, aknable@cityofnewalbany.com

1st District – Dan Coffey (I-D), Voted FOR
(502) 797-8347, dcoffey@cityofnewalbany.com

2nd District – Robert Caesar (D), Voted FOR
(812) 945-8744, rcaesar@cityofnewalbany.com

3rd District – Greg Phipps (D), Voted FOR
(812) 949-8317, gphipps@cityofnewalbany.com

4th District – Patrick McLaughlin (D),Voted FOR
(812) 949-9140, pmclaughlin@cityofnewalbany.com

5th District – Matt Nash (D), Voted FOR
(502) 718-4986, mnash@cityofnewalbany.com

6th District – Scott Blair (I), Voted AGAINST
(812) 697-0128, sblair@cityofnewalbany.com

Sudden stealth sewer rate hikes reveal the breathtaking extent of Jeff Gahan's intellectual dishonesty. Isn't it time to hold Team Gahan and its toadies accountable?

Council Crackers: Final victory over Nawbany's EPA sewer nemesis is so crucial that Jeff Gahan stayed home and watched "Walker, Texas Ranger" reruns on DVD.

Wednesday, December 07, 2016

Sudden stealth sewer rate hikes reveal the breathtaking extent of Jeff Gahan's intellectual dishonesty. Isn't it time to hold Team Gahan and its toadies accountable?


As holder of salaried positions as mayor and head of the sewer board, shouldn't Jeff Gahan be the one -- THE ONLY ONE -- to explain why sewer rate increases have been artfully hidden in a rote bonding document ... why economic development concerns (and the city's inevitable subsidy of them) are at the heart of G-16-03 ... and why tender concern for the environment is the very last thing on the mind of a City Hall team that has cut more trees so far in 2016 than Weyerhaeuser?

Council Crackers: Final victory over Nawbany's EPA sewer nemesis is so crucial that Jeff Gahan stayed home and watched "Walker, Texas Ranger" reruns on DVD.

... Praised by its backers as one of the signal achievements of Gahanism in contemporary New Albany, the sewer ordinance came forward without the Genius of the Flood Plain present in the room to argue on behalf of its merits.

Significantly, Jeff Gahan is the mayor of this city. He appointed himself to the Sewer Board chair (a paid position), and also appoints the other members of the board, but if you were expecting leadership by example from Gahan -- something apart from the labored antics of subalterns, as with David Duggins' frat boy mugging or the vocabulary-deprived glowering of Shane Gibson -- then too bad for you.

On Monday it took an hour of desultory skirmishing before city officials finally conceded the central point, in that this desperate-haste-from-nowhere-ordinance is necessary because the existing EPA points cap will prevent planned developments in 2017.

Given that we all favor independence from the EPA, shouldn't we know more about the nature of these development plans?

As holder of salaried positions as mayor and head of the sewer board, shouldn't Jeff Gahan be the one to explain these plans, and why they matter?

Evidently not, because Gahan remained safely ensconced in the Down Low Bunker on Tuesday, as the city's Propaganda Commissariat went full frontal disingenuous (synonyms include insincere, dishonest, untruthful, false, deceitful, duplicitous, lying and mendacious):

At last evening’s City Council meeting, the City Council voted 7-2 in favor of bill G-16-03. If approved on final reading, this ordinance would authorize the construction of sanitary sewer projects that would eliminate the final remaining sanitary sewer overflows in the city.

As Bluegill succinctly observed with respect to the spin cycle:

And in today's City Hall PR announcement, not a single word about automatic annual sewer rate increases (or any rate increase at all).

To repeat: As holder of salaried positions as mayor and head of the sewer board, shouldn't Jeff Gahan be the one to explain these hastily inserted* CPI-pegged sewer rate increases?

Isn't it time at long last for Gahan to be held accountable? The Bookseller scores today's coda, and explains council's unfortunate culpability:

SEWER RATE INCREASE imminent in New Albany. But instead of taking responsibility for setting a legal rate, the city council has voted to begin an automatic rate increase pegged to some version of the Consumer Price Index (CPI). Final vote is on Thursday, December 15. That is not the legal way to set rates. CPI is not an economic variable - it's merely a statistic.

My information is that the wastewater utility needs a rate increase of $0.21 per billing unit, meaning even the lightest user would see a rate increase of about 2.8%. But no CPI will provide those funds, leading back to illegal tax subsidies for the heaviest users of the city-owned utility.

Contact your council representatives before it's too late.

At-Large – David Aebersold (R), Voted FOR
(812) 944-9823, daebersold@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – David C. Barksdale (R), Voted FOR
(812) 945-1839, dbarksdale@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Al Knable, MD (R), Voted AGAINST
(502) 386-5051, aknable@cityofnewalbany.com

1st District – Dan Coffey (I-D), Voted FOR
(502) 797-8347, dcoffey@cityofnewalbany.com

2nd District – Robert Caesar (D), Voted FOR
(812) 945-8744, rcaesar@cityofnewalbany.com

3rd District – Greg Phipps (D), Voted FOR
(812) 949-8317, gphipps@cityofnewalbany.com

4th District – Patrick McLaughlin (D),Voted FOR
(812) 949-9140, pmclaughlin@cityofnewalbany.com

5th District – Matt Nash (D), Voted FOR
(502) 718-4986, mnash@cityofnewalbany.com

6th District – Scott Blair (I), Voted AGAINST
(812) 697-0128, sblair@cityofnewalbany.com

* As forwarded in the council's Monday meeting packet, ordinance passages pertaining to the proposed sewer rate increases were pasted in an entirely different font.

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Council Crackers: Final victory over Nawbany's EPA sewer nemesis is so crucial that Jeff Gahan stayed home and watched "Walker, Texas Ranger" reruns on DVD.


(ASK THE BORED is off drinking this week, to return on the 12th of Never, or barring that, the 13th of December. Also, there are no links to local media coverage of Monday's council conclave, as no local media representatives attended.)

In a staged tableau achingly familiar to longtime council observers, an ordinance touted as the final heroic act in New Albany's quarter-century-long sewage control saga of "now we're complying, now we're not" (with federal regulatory edicts) was rushed pell-mell before council last night for two initial readings.

It was approved 7-2, and likely will receive final approval at next Thursday's second December meeting -- and by the way, apropos of nothing apart from Gahanesque imperatives of congenital secrecy, built into the ordinance is a mechanism for annual sewer rate increases tied to an as yet undisclosed sector of the Consumer Price Index, or CPI.

Praised by its backers as one of the signal achievements of Gahanism in contemporary New Albany, the sewer ordinance came forward without the Genius of the Flood Plain present in the room to argue on behalf of its merits.

Significantly, Jeff Gahan is the mayor of this city. He appointed himself to the Sewer Board chair (a paid position), and also appoints the other members of the board, but if you were expecting leadership by example from Gahan -- something apart from the labored antics of subalterns, as with David Duggins' frat boy mugging or the vocabulary-deprived glowering of Shane Gibson -- then too bad for you.

Here in New Albany, we're so very special.

Meanwhile, the 40-odd page ordinance has three central pillars.

1. It establishes bonding (up to $12.5 million) for a final phase of infrastructure initiatives that presumably will end the Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) oversight of our sewage treatment network, and by doing so, free the city from remaining within a limit of yearly "points" allocated for various development projects (which were unidentified).

2. It refinances previous sewer bonds on more favorable terms to the city.

3. It establishes incremental annual sewer rate increases by tying these to the CPI, although the precise one of these indexes (there are many) or the mechanism itself is not stipulated.

As for the consumer price indexing, the best we can say is that it's a needlessly bureaucratic solution to a problem borne of political cowardice, in that it remains the council's responsibility to establish rates charged to the consumer, which will pay for the sewer system's operation without EDIT subsidies (although we still do this, illegally), and historically, this function has been the first can to be kicked down the road.

That's because in the past, any hint of a sewer rate increase would result in red-faced, pitchfork-wielding citizens clogging the 3rd floor corridor to the Down Low Bunker's safe haven.

However, in a supreme irony, the self-described Potty Police seem to have disbanded. Once an eagle, indeed. Not a single angry citizen attended last night's meeting to wag an ominous finger at impending rate increases. Of course, this might yet occur for the ordinance's final reading next Thursday, and if so, the Pee Party will face proud councilmen brandishing brand new magic shields: Don't blame us -- blame the CPI.

It isn't Remember the Alamo, but it will do in a pinch, while fleeing in abject terror.

Last night, kudos are due councilman Scott Blair, a banker, who commented at length on the complexity of the End of EPA sewer document, asking the necessary central questions: Why does something of this magnitude arise seemingly from nowhere, with implied urgency for approval during council's final two meetings of the year, without sufficient time to examine the details of the financial assumptions contained therein?

After all, amid various self-aggrandizing advertisements for his own essential role in the sewer system's victorious Long March, councilman Bob "Bicentennial Bookman" Caesar's introduction of the ordinance included repeated repetitive phrases of this general contradictory tone: There's no real hurry with this BUTDAMMITCAN'TWEMOVEANYFASTER?

The Green Mouse says: Caesar wants to be mayor someday -- and that'll make you move to Ireland quickerthanTrump.

It was only after an hour of debate that The Great Elongated and Exasperated Obfuscator, City Hall corporate attorney Shane Gibson, at last publicly conceded the precise reason for the urgency. It seems someone on Team Gahan finally looked at the needs of development projects slated for TIF-draining in 2017, and concluded that the city would not possess the necessary EPA sewer points even before the usual crony capitalism incentives are applied.

No points, no project ... and no project, no campaign finance beak-wetting. Something's up for 2017. We don't know exactly what, but it's why Caesar spent another evening carrying Gahan's jockstrap, and in turn, why Caesar's bicentennial shenanigans are being shielded by the oily operatives in Gahan's apparatus.

If Gahan could just tie sewer rates with paving contracts, and direct debit the contractors' creamy campaign finance rivulets -- then he really would be a genius, and I could have just stayed home and watched television, too.

Nostalgia.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Break out the Bud Light, because the Sanctioned Monument to the Glorious Usual Heroes of the Bicentennial Park Cash Unlimited Uprising is scheduled for unveiling soon.

10:06 p.m. update: It has been pointed out to me that Vic Megenity's name does not appear on the plaque shown below. Remember that time he came before council and asked for a Bicentennial Commission audit ... nah, that couldn't be the reason. 

The devil's in the "details," or so "they" say.


But most would agree that BicenPk is a "fun"damentally better corner, as implemented by "courageous" and "selfless" public servants ... say, wait: Isn't that the new, "unofficial" city seal/marketing tool/branding mechanism right there, engraved on a plaque meant to last forever, even beyond the time when Shayruff Duggins has been exiled all the way back to Clark County?


Like they always say: Every tarp costs a thousand bucks.


Let's all rejoice in the promise of a "better" tomorrow, and a plaque at every house, even as we speculate whether the required tithe on the part of the stone mason has pushed Team Gahan over the $100K mark.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I'll see your bicentennial, and raise you a Tricentennial. Whatcha got?


In 2013, New Albany celebrates its 200th birthday, and obviously, a bicentennial is a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Consequently, it would have been nice for more of the citizenry to be included at the big kids’ table.

Alas, quite a lot of bright local folks who might have contributed immeasurably to New Albany’s birthday have instead been effectively excluded from planning and implementing it, and sadly, lots of great ideas have gone unheard because the usual civic pillars have hoarded the process to ensure it proceeded according to their own narrow viewpoints, and while that’s a damned shame, the way this bicentennial has gone down to date is a perfect metaphor – a fitting distillation – of two hundred years of social stratification.

It’s disappointing, but here’s the good news: Craft beer can be a wonderful leveler.

For this reason, I decided that NABC will sit out this year’s “official” commemoration, better to honor “next,” or the more hopeful, forthcoming party we’re all guaranteed to miss – not because we were not invited, as was the case in 2013, but because each and every one of us will be dead as door nails in 2113.

Hence, it is my pleasure to announce NABC’s Tricentennial Ale … because in another hundred years, who knows?

NABC Tricentennial Ale is a slightly revamped formula previously released in 2011 as Steamboat Common, which was meant to observe the 200th anniversary of the first steamboat journey on the Ohio River. It's a malty ale on the strong side (circa 7% abv), with sorghum and/or molasses deployed as a fermentable.

Tricentennial’s official draft debut will be at the Culbertson Mansion’s Garden Party on Saturday, June 1. Immediately afterwards, there’ll be a limited amount of draft Tricentennial for sale at NABC’s two locations in New Albany.

On June 3, a limited run of 300 hand-numbered 22oz “bomber” bottles will go on sale at both NABC locations in New Albany, and at Keg Liquors.

Can you say “renegade collector’s edition”?

The label art by NABC’s graphics authority-in-residence Tony Beard depicts the city of New Albany in 2113, when our city’s future generations will have yet another chance to get it right, assuming they can hack a pathway through the inevitable phalanx of wagons circled by the descendants of the usual suspects even in that far-off era to come.

Draft Tricentennial then will make a cameo appearance alongside other NABC brands at the July 4th fireworks party at the Riverfront Amphitheater, which in New Albany is held on July 3, not July 4.

A second Tricentennial wave will occur during the 2013 edition of Harvest Homecoming, when draft Tricentennial will pour at NABC’s 6th annual Fringe Fest at Bank Street Brewhouse. At this time, we’ll also make kegs of Tricentennial available for purchase by six local draft accounts, hopefully affording festival attendees a final chance to drink to New Albany’s future.

Perhaps by then, we’ll have evaded our past. But only time will tell ... and that’s why we drink today.