TONIGHT: Public hearing to discuss the sewer rate increase (and yes, it is an increase).

The city council agenda and packet was released last week, and the public hearing to discuss the sewer rate increase is tonight at 6:30 p.m.

Council president Pat McLaughlin has scheduled a second public hearing (the Blessings in a Backpack appropriation) for 6:45 p.m., with the regularly scheduled council meeting at 7. It isn't clear whether this is a provocation or poor time management, so consider coming out tonight and contributing your thoughts, and we'll make the hearing last.

Previously ...

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Not only that, but shouldn't Gahan answer questions, too?

Shouldn't he attend and answer questions, of his own accord, springing from a deeply held desire for transparency and the exchange of information, and not being dragged to the meeting kicking and screaming, like a child seeking to avoid the dentist?

Sadly, we already know the answer. Maybe he'll come, anyway.

My biggest question is this: Seeing as one of the stated aims of these sewer rate increases is the city's ability to remove EPA limitations, thus allowing supposedly vital development projects, can we learn a little more about what these development projects entail?

What are they, and why the hurry?

Are they industrial? Retail? Luxury bocce-equipped housing?

Where are they to be located?

Finally: Why are the answers to such questions forever regarded as tantamount to state secrets, hidden so far underground that stacks of Bob Caesar's unsold Bicentennial books probably are being used like sandbag paperweights?

I urge readers to attend and to speak, whether Gahan shows his hide or not.

New Albany city council public hearing regarding wastewater rate change and the implementation of consumer price index is February 6.

NEW ALBANY CITY COUNCIL PUBLIC HEARING REGARDING WASTEWATER RATE CHANGE AND THE IMPLEMENTATION OF CONSUMER PRICE INDEX

The New Albany City Council will conduct a Public hearing February 6, 2017 at 6:30 p.m. at 311 Hauss Square, 3rd Floor, Assembly Room 330, New Albany, Indiana at which persons may be heard concerning the proposed changes to rates, charges, and implementation of a consumer price index for the sewer utility user fees. The City Council will consider an increase in wastewater rates and charges effective July 1, 2017 or at a date set upon adoption of the rates and yearly thereafter. The proposed rates and charges are as follows: 3% increase in the monthly charges for all consumer categories and the implementation of a consumer price index yearly thereafter. Users of the sewage works for service of property located outside corporate boundaries may be entitled to petition the commission under section IC 8-1.5-3-8.3 et seq. to review and adjust the rates and charges imposed on the users if a petition under IC 8-1.5-3-8.2 or under IC 36-9-23-26.1 with respect to the same rate ordinance has not been filed.

Jeff Gahan pays himself around $11,000 each year to head up the sewer board. Shouldn't Gahan attend the city council rate increase hearing on February 6 and listen to public comments?

Not only that, but shouldn't Gahan answer questions, too?

Shouldn't he attend and answer questions, of his own accord, springing from a deeply held desire for transparency and the exchange of information, and not being dragged to the meeting kicking and screaming, like a child seeking to avoid the dentist?

Sadly, we already know the answer. Maybe he'll come, anyway.

My biggest question is this: Seeing as one of the stated aims of these sewer rate increases is the city's ability to remove EPA limitations, thus allowing supposedly vital development projects, can we learn a little more about what these development projects entail?

What are they, and why the hurry?

Are they industrial? Retail? Luxury bocce-equipped housing?

Where are they to be located?

Finally: Why are the answers to such questions forever regarded as tantamount to state secrets, hidden so far underground that stacks of Bob Caesar's unsold Bicentennial books probably are being used like sandbag paperweights?

I urge readers to attend and to speak, whether Gahan shows his hide or not.

New Albany city council public hearing regarding wastewater rate change and the implementation of consumer price index is February 6.

NEW ALBANY CITY COUNCIL PUBLIC HEARING REGARDING WASTEWATER RATE CHANGE AND THE IMPLEMENTATION OF CONSUMER PRICE INDEX

The New Albany City Council will conduct a Public hearing February 6, 2017 at 6:30 p.m. at 311 Hauss Square, 3rd Floor, Assembly Room 330, New Albany, Indiana at which persons may be heard concerning the proposed changes to rates, charges, and implementation of a consumer price index for the sewer utility user fees. The City Council will consider an increase in wastewater rates and charges effective July 1, 2017 or at a date set upon adoption of the rates and yearly thereafter. The proposed rates and charges are as follows: 3% increase in the monthly charges for all consumer categories and the implementation of a consumer price index yearly thereafter. Users of the sewage works for service of property located outside corporate boundaries may be entitled to petition the commission under section IC 8-1.5-3-8.3 et seq. to review and adjust the rates and charges imposed on the users if a petition under IC 8-1.5-3-8.2 or under IC 36-9-23-26.1 with respect to the same rate ordinance has not been filed.

New Albany city council public hearing regarding wastewater rate change and the implementation of consumer price index is February 6.

Here's the announcement sans satire.

Yes, Virginia, it is a sewer rate INCREASE, in spite of what you may have read elsewhere.

Yes, Virginia, it is a sewer rate INCREASE, in spite of what you may have read elsewhere.

The Courier-Journal came a bit late to coverage of New Albany's eleventh hour sewer ordinance, but once fully engaged, the Louisville newspaper correctly grasped the obvious.

Plain, simple, and in keeping with the real-world definition of the word "increase": To make greater, as in number, size, strength, or quality; augment; add to.

C-J reporter Madeleine Winer did not become immersed in semantics.

New Albany City Council approved increasing sewer rates for the third time in the last six years Tuesday night.

The council voted to hike sewer rates by three percent in a 7-1 vote Tuesday night. The rate increase would cover the city’s ongoing improvements to its sewer system and equipment costs as well as the debt it owes on bonds it has used for improvements in the past, city officials said.

The vote is still subject to review by the public and wouldn’t go into effect until next July if passed again by the council.

Bizarrely, almost to the very last gasp, the Jeffersonville News and Tribune -- which entirely missed the sewer ordinance's first reading, and apparently still operates with a bare minimum of editorial supervision -- continued its preference for obfuscating the increase with a series of euphemisms (settle down, Shane: "The substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.")

That's right: An increase as structure change in large face, with "rates raised" coming in small print, although by this point, the ordinance had passed muster and it mattered very little.

Fascinatingly, for a while there, it was almost as though we were witnessing a wordplay competition among current and former newspaper staff members. How many different words can be substituted for the best and most obvious one, increase?

It is to the reporter Beilman's credit that she at least tried to explain. Have you noticed that the News and Tribune's upper management almost never participates in such exchanges on social media, though reporters invariably do?

A knight in shining armor rode to the rescue.

Tweeting on meeting night, reality began seeping into Beilman's dispatches, as it was revealed that the rolling CPI average could be 4% or higher on monthly bills; then again, "bump" and "nudge" are absent numerical thresholds.

Again to Beilman's credit, by the time the article was written, the euphemisms were dead and buried.

I remain bewildered. If the objective of a headline is to grab the reader's attention, then doesn't using the most accurate word (increase) achieve this at the bare expense of four additional letters (bump) and an added word (structure changes)?

In closing, here's a concise introduction to the relationship between journalists and politicians.

What is clear is that the relationship between journalists and politicians can have a significant impact on the functioning of a fair and just society. Politicians make decisions and take action on behalf of the public. Journalists scrutinise those decisions and report the implications to the public.

Bump? Hike? If sewer rates are higher, then that's an increase, by definition.

Tolling is about to begin. Interest rates are going up. Rental property registration and eventual inspection will provide a convenient pretext for property owners to raise prices.

So will sewer rate increases, however justified, even if they're modest, and whether or not they're tied to annual consumer price indexing, or established by the city council, which now proposes to abdicate its rate-setting responsibility via CPI mechanism.

The result will be more out-of-pocket costs for those least able to pay, something so consistently ignored by this top-down "beautiful people's" mayor that it's more difficult than ever to explain how he can continue to pretend being a Democrat.

We remain a city with many citizens living at or below the poverty line, a fact that dog parks and subsidized luxury housing does nothing to dispel.

The newspaper can't be bothered; the publisher (not newsman) is waging weird personal jihad on behalf of his foundation sinecure, and of course, there are more clicks to be derived from True Crime than sewer semantics.

There are numerous distractions elsewhere, but in the face of an effort by the mayor and his council allies to sneak through a sewer rate increase obscured by 40 pages of bonding legalese by means of two quick votes just before Christmas in the aftermath of Trump trauma ... well, it's too much for me.

Someone's got to be the adult dissident around here.

I remember when the self-described Potty Police would be on hand for meetings at the slightest suggestion of a rate hike, and yes, at the time I thought they often were crazed. However, there's no point in living without learning, and it makes sense to me now.

I've done my best to do what they'd have done, and try to spread the word about something that shouldn't be rushed this way. It isn't so much the amount of the rate change. It's the Gahanesque arrogance in the manner of passage, and the simple fact that the city council should be reviewing these rates on a consistent basis, yearly, not acquiescing in convenient last-minute ways to absolve themselves of responsibility.

When Gahan was a councilman, he'd have been out in front with denunciations. Now he's not just the mayor, but he's the salaried sewer board chieftain, too -- and if last week's meeting is any indication, Dan Coffey's back on the mayoral payroll. In 2008, Coffey would have been on full filibuster with a Bic ready to flick.

To repeat: The city council meets this Thursday (December 15) at 7:00 p.m. in the Romper Room on the third floor of the City County Building. At last week's meeting, administration and council proponents were not able to provide any concrete details as to the workings of this proposed CPI mechanism, and this is reason enough to detach it from the ordinance and submit it separately once these relevant details have been provided. 

Following are links to recent NAC articles, followed by contact information for city councilmen. Please make your views known to them.

Don't forget: Back door New Albany sewer rate increases are on tap at city council this Thursday. Are you down with this?

In a major victory for practical stenography, chain newspaper belatedly gets wind of sewer rate increases, helpfully regurgitates Jeff Gahan's talking points, reinforces status quo. Um, thanks.

Ooh, ooh that SMELL: Jeff Gahan proposes arbitrary CPI pegs to raise sewer rates annually, when sewer rates already are illegally subsidized.

Sudden stealth sewer rate hikes reveal the breathtaking extent of Jeff Gahan's intellectual dishonesty. Isn't it time to hold Team Gahan and its toadies accountable?

Council Crackers: Final victory over Nawbany's EPA sewer nemesis is so crucial that Jeff Gahan stayed home and watched "Walker, Texas Ranger" reruns on DVD.

If Mayor Gahan's new sewer rate initiative is as vital as his press release says, will he actually attend tonight's council meeting to take ownership of it?

Contact your council representatives before it's too late.

At-Large – David Aebersold (R), Voted FOR
(812) 944-9823, daebersold@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – David C. Barksdale (R), Voted FOR
(812) 945-1839, dbarksdale@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Al Knable, MD (R), Voted AGAINST
(502) 386-5051, aknable@cityofnewalbany.com

1st District – Dan Coffey (I-D), Voted FOR
(502) 797-8347, dcoffey@cityofnewalbany.com

2nd District – Robert Caesar (D), Voted FOR
(812) 945-8744, rcaesar@cityofnewalbany.com

3rd District – Greg Phipps (D), Voted FOR
(812) 949-8317, gphipps@cityofnewalbany.com

4th District – Patrick McLaughlin (D),Voted FOR
(812) 949-9140, pmclaughlin@cityofnewalbany.com

5th District – Matt Nash (D), Voted FOR
(502) 718-4986, mnash@cityofnewalbany.com

6th District – Scott Blair (I), Voted AGAINST
(812) 697-0128, sblair@cityofnewalbany.com

Don't forget: Back door New Albany sewer rate increases are on tap at city council this Thursday. Are you down with this?

The city council meets this Thursday (December 15) at 7:00 p.m. in the Romper Room on the third floor of the City County Building. Annual sewer rate hikes according to consumer price indexing were tacked at the last minute onto an otherwise reasonable sewer project bonding ordinance, and received approval on the first two of three readings at last week's council meeting.

At last week's meeting, administration and council proponents were not able to provide any concrete details as to the workings of this CPI mechanism, and this is reason enough to detach it from the ordinance and submit separately once these relevant details have been provided.  

Given the mayor's zeal in increasing expenditures, do you really want him saying "trust us, we'll figure it out later" on something as important as guaranteed annual sewer rate increases?

Following are links to recent NAC articles, followed by contact information for city councilmen. Please make your views known to them.

In a major victory for practical stenography, chain newspaper belatedly gets wind of sewer rate increases, helpfully regurgitates Jeff Gahan's talking points, reinforces status quo. Um, thanks.

Ooh, ooh that SMELL: Jeff Gahan proposes arbitrary CPI pegs to raise sewer rates annually, when sewer rates already are illegally subsidized.

Sudden stealth sewer rate hikes reveal the breathtaking extent of Jeff Gahan's intellectual dishonesty. Isn't it time to hold Team Gahan and its toadies accountable?

Council Crackers: Final victory over Nawbany's EPA sewer nemesis is so crucial that Jeff Gahan stayed home and watched "Walker, Texas Ranger" reruns on DVD.

If Mayor Gahan's new sewer rate initiative is as vital as his press release says, will he actually attend tonight's council meeting to take ownership of it?

Contact your council representatives before it's too late.

At-Large – David Aebersold (R), Voted FOR
(812) 944-9823, daebersold@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – David C. Barksdale (R), Voted FOR
(812) 945-1839, dbarksdale@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Al Knable, MD (R), Voted AGAINST
(502) 386-5051, aknable@cityofnewalbany.com

1st District – Dan Coffey (I-D), Voted FOR
(502) 797-8347, dcoffey@cityofnewalbany.com

2nd District – Robert Caesar (D), Voted FOR
(812) 945-8744, rcaesar@cityofnewalbany.com

3rd District – Greg Phipps (D), Voted FOR
(812) 949-8317, gphipps@cityofnewalbany.com

4th District – Patrick McLaughlin (D),Voted FOR
(812) 949-9140, pmclaughlin@cityofnewalbany.com

5th District – Matt Nash (D), Voted FOR
(502) 718-4986, mnash@cityofnewalbany.com

6th District – Scott Blair (I), Voted AGAINST
(812) 697-0128, sblair@cityofnewalbany.com

In a major victory for practical stenography, chain newspaper belatedly gets wind of sewer rate increases, helpfully regurgitates Jeff Gahan's talking points, reinforces status quo. Um, thanks.

Sorry, but you can't convince me that the News and Tribune's persistently hands-off, forgiving attitude toward Jeff Gahan's pants-on-fire municipal edicts DOESN'T have something to do with the sheer volume of advertising revenue contributed by New Albany ratepayers to the 'Bama-based newspaper via Gahan's propaganda commissariat.

Does this make me a conspiracy theorist? Yawn, but so be it.

One thing is absolutely certain: If I were to expend the elbow grease necessary to file public information requests with the city so as to learn the exact amount of advertising revenue aimed at CNHI's coffers, as was suggested to me by a newspaper staffer (naturally, the rag has no intention of telling us), the odds that the New Albany corporate attorney would honestly honor my request are less than zero.

Earth to News and Tribune: See Dalton Trumbo's quote, above. Report back to me if and when you get it. Thanks.

New Albany City Council mulls CPI-based sewer rate bumps; Ordinance to fund remaining EPA mandate projects, by Elizabeth Beilman (News and Tribune)

NEW ALBANY — The New Albany City Council will take a final vote Thursday on implementing annual automatic sewer rate increases in line with inflation.

The increases — measured by the urban consumer price index percentage change from year to year — are intended to prevent massive one-time bumps. If passed, the changes would be implemented in July.

"In the past, the rate has always been somewhat of a political negotiation," New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan said. "That's not healthy for anyone. Suddenly, the residents experience a huge increase in the rates. The CPI will act as a way to protect the residents from exorbitant or huge rate increases."

Ooh, ooh that SMELL: Jeff Gahan proposes arbitrary CPI pegs to raise sewer rates annually, when sewer rates already are illegally subsidized.

Jeff Gahan, who draws a salary as both mayor of New Albany and head of its sewer board, proposes that in the future, annual sewer rate increases are to be pegged to one or another variants of the Consumer Price Index (CPI) in a formula yet to be identified.

This vague mechanism appeared from nowhere, as appended to a sewer bonding ordinance, and was approved 7-2 in its first two readings, with a final vote coming next Thursday (December 15). As in previous years, city officials are stampeding the vote at year's end, citing tremendous urgency in solving problems no one knew existed until December.

Returning to the concept of pegging sewer rate increases to CPI-something, there is an obvious question that must be answered first: Is the current sewer rate legal?

Many of us believe it isn't. Randy Smith wrote the following in the spring of 2015, and it remains a must read for anyone seeking to understand the year-to-year mishandling of New Albany's sewer utility -- and did I mention that the mayor appointed himself to "run" the sewer utility?

(Bold text added)

Sewer Utility Still Draining Tax Dollars

 ... I had thought the (illegal sewer rate subsidy) chicanery had finally ended when I read last year that the subsidy had been removed. But just to make sure, I perused the city’s 2015 budget. There, to my astonishment, was yet another transfer of $570,000 from the income tax fund (EDIT) to the sewer utility.

I have written at length in the past about the illegality of this transfer. To be brief, while a city in Indiana can own and operate a municipal utility, the finances of that utility must be completely separated from other city funds. That is, the utility must stand on its own, without subsidies of any kind.

With this budget year, Jeff Gahan has in 11 budget years (as a councilman and as mayor) approved more than $10 million in transfers from city taxes to prop up the utility.

One might be of the opinion that using tax dollars to fortify the sewers is a good thing, but none of us are entitled to an opinion on this matter. State law is extremely clear. It’s illegal. (It happens to be illegal in Louisville, too, under a different state’s laws – ref: MSD.)

This misfeasance on the part of the mayor and council subjects the utility itself to the jeopardy of a taxpayer lawsuit to recover these millions of dollars.

However, illegality has become normal in New Albany. It’s not just the law-breaking that New Albany voters need to be aware of as they go to the polls. This transfer is possibly the single dumbest way to divert tax money and demonstrates innumeracy and financial incompetence on the part of the mayor and his advisors.

Also from Randy Smith, this week:

SEWER RATE INCREASE imminent in New Albany. But instead of taking responsibility for setting a legal rate, the city council has voted to begin an automatic rate increase pegged to some version of the Consumer Price Index (CPI). Final vote is on Thursday, December 15. That is not the legal way to set rates. CPI is not an economic variable - it's merely a statistic.

My information is that the wastewater utility needs a rate increase of $0.21 per billing unit, meaning even the lightest user would see a rate increase of about 2.8%. But no CPI will provide those funds, leading back to illegal tax subsidies for the heaviest users of the city-owned utility.

Contact your council representatives before it's too late.

At-Large – David Aebersold (R), Voted FOR
(812) 944-9823, daebersold@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – David C. Barksdale (R), Voted FOR
(812) 945-1839, dbarksdale@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Al Knable, MD (R), Voted AGAINST
(502) 386-5051, aknable@cityofnewalbany.com

1st District – Dan Coffey (I-D), Voted FOR
(502) 797-8347, dcoffey@cityofnewalbany.com

2nd District – Robert Caesar (D), Voted FOR
(812) 945-8744, rcaesar@cityofnewalbany.com

3rd District – Greg Phipps (D), Voted FOR
(812) 949-8317, gphipps@cityofnewalbany.com

4th District – Patrick McLaughlin (D),Voted FOR
(812) 949-9140, pmclaughlin@cityofnewalbany.com

5th District – Matt Nash (D), Voted FOR
(502) 718-4986, mnash@cityofnewalbany.com

6th District – Scott Blair (I), Voted AGAINST
(812) 697-0128, sblair@cityofnewalbany.com

Sudden stealth sewer rate hikes reveal the breathtaking extent of Jeff Gahan's intellectual dishonesty. Isn't it time to hold Team Gahan and its toadies accountable?

Council Crackers: Final victory over Nawbany's EPA sewer nemesis is so crucial that Jeff Gahan stayed home and watched "Walker, Texas Ranger" reruns on DVD.

Sudden stealth sewer rate hikes reveal the breathtaking extent of Jeff Gahan's intellectual dishonesty. Isn't it time to hold Team Gahan and its toadies accountable?

As holder of salaried positions as mayor and head of the sewer board, shouldn't Jeff Gahan be the one -- THE ONLY ONE -- to explain why sewer rate increases have been artfully hidden in a rote bonding document ... why economic development concerns (and the city's inevitable subsidy of them) are at the heart of G-16-03 ... and why tender concern for the environment is the very last thing on the mind of a City Hall team that has cut more trees so far in 2016 than Weyerhaeuser?

Council Crackers: Final victory over Nawbany's EPA sewer nemesis is so crucial that Jeff Gahan stayed home and watched "Walker, Texas Ranger" reruns on DVD.

... Praised by its backers as one of the signal achievements of Gahanism in contemporary New Albany, the sewer ordinance came forward without the Genius of the Flood Plain present in the room to argue on behalf of its merits.

Significantly, Jeff Gahan is the mayor of this city. He appointed himself to the Sewer Board chair (a paid position), and also appoints the other members of the board, but if you were expecting leadership by example from Gahan -- something apart from the labored antics of subalterns, as with David Duggins' frat boy mugging or the vocabulary-deprived glowering of Shane Gibson -- then too bad for you.

On Monday it took an hour of desultory skirmishing before city officials finally conceded the central point, in that this desperate-haste-from-nowhere-ordinance is necessary because the existing EPA points cap will prevent planned developments in 2017.

Given that we all favor independence from the EPA, shouldn't we know more about the nature of these development plans?

As holder of salaried positions as mayor and head of the sewer board, shouldn't Jeff Gahan be the one to explain these plans, and why they matter?

Evidently not, because Gahan remained safely ensconced in the Down Low Bunker on Tuesday, as the city's Propaganda Commissariat went full frontal disingenuous (synonyms include insincere, dishonest, untruthful, false, deceitful, duplicitous, lying and mendacious):

At last evening’s City Council meeting, the City Council voted 7-2 in favor of bill G-16-03. If approved on final reading, this ordinance would authorize the construction of sanitary sewer projects that would eliminate the final remaining sanitary sewer overflows in the city.

As Bluegill succinctly observed with respect to the spin cycle:

And in today's City Hall PR announcement, not a single word about automatic annual sewer rate increases (or any rate increase at all).

To repeat: As holder of salaried positions as mayor and head of the sewer board, shouldn't Jeff Gahan be the one to explain these hastily inserted* CPI-pegged sewer rate increases?

Isn't it time at long last for Gahan to be held accountable? The Bookseller scores today's coda, and explains council's unfortunate culpability:

SEWER RATE INCREASE imminent in New Albany. But instead of taking responsibility for setting a legal rate, the city council has voted to begin an automatic rate increase pegged to some version of the Consumer Price Index (CPI). Final vote is on Thursday, December 15. That is not the legal way to set rates. CPI is not an economic variable - it's merely a statistic.

My information is that the wastewater utility needs a rate increase of $0.21 per billing unit, meaning even the lightest user would see a rate increase of about 2.8%. But no CPI will provide those funds, leading back to illegal tax subsidies for the heaviest users of the city-owned utility.

Contact your council representatives before it's too late.

At-Large – David Aebersold (R), Voted FOR
(812) 944-9823, daebersold@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – David C. Barksdale (R), Voted FOR
(812) 945-1839, dbarksdale@cityofnewalbany.com

At-Large – Al Knable, MD (R), Voted AGAINST
(502) 386-5051, aknable@cityofnewalbany.com

1st District – Dan Coffey (I-D), Voted FOR
(502) 797-8347, dcoffey@cityofnewalbany.com

2nd District – Robert Caesar (D), Voted FOR
(812) 945-8744, rcaesar@cityofnewalbany.com

3rd District – Greg Phipps (D), Voted FOR
(812) 949-8317, gphipps@cityofnewalbany.com

4th District – Patrick McLaughlin (D),Voted FOR
(812) 949-9140, pmclaughlin@cityofnewalbany.com

5th District – Matt Nash (D), Voted FOR
(502) 718-4986, mnash@cityofnewalbany.com

6th District – Scott Blair (I), Voted AGAINST
(812) 697-0128, sblair@cityofnewalbany.com

* As forwarded in the council's Monday meeting packet, ordinance passages pertaining to the proposed sewer rate increases were pasted in an entirely different font.

Council Crackers: Final victory over Nawbany's EPA sewer nemesis is so crucial that Jeff Gahan stayed home and watched "Walker, Texas Ranger" reruns on DVD.

(ASK THE BORED is off drinking this week, to return on the 12th of Never, or barring that, the 13th of December. Also, there are no links to local media coverage of Monday's council conclave, as no local media representatives attended.)

In a staged tableau achingly familiar to longtime council observers, an ordinance touted as the final heroic act in New Albany's quarter-century-long sewage control saga of "now we're complying, now we're not" (with federal regulatory edicts) was rushed pell-mell before council last night for two initial readings.

It was approved 7-2, and likely will receive final approval at next Thursday's second December meeting -- and by the way, apropos of nothing apart from Gahanesque imperatives of congenital secrecy, built into the ordinance is a mechanism for annual sewer rate increases tied to an as yet undisclosed sector of the Consumer Price Index, or CPI.

Praised by its backers as one of the signal achievements of Gahanism in contemporary New Albany, the sewer ordinance came forward without the Genius of the Flood Plain present in the room to argue on behalf of its merits.

Significantly, Jeff Gahan is the mayor of this city. He appointed himself to the Sewer Board chair (a paid position), and also appoints the other members of the board, but if you were expecting leadership by example from Gahan -- something apart from the labored antics of subalterns, as with David Duggins' frat boy mugging or the vocabulary-deprived glowering of Shane Gibson -- then too bad for you.

Here in New Albany, we're so very special.

Meanwhile, the 40-odd page ordinance has three central pillars.

1. It establishes bonding (up to $12.5 million) for a final phase of infrastructure initiatives that presumably will end the Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) oversight of our sewage treatment network, and by doing so, free the city from remaining within a limit of yearly "points" allocated for various development projects (which were unidentified).

2. It refinances previous sewer bonds on more favorable terms to the city.

3. It establishes incremental annual sewer rate increases by tying these to the CPI, although the precise one of these indexes (there are many) or the mechanism itself is not stipulated.

As for the consumer price indexing, the best we can say is that it's a needlessly bureaucratic solution to a problem borne of political cowardice, in that it remains the council's responsibility to establish rates charged to the consumer, which will pay for the sewer system's operation without EDIT subsidies (although we still do this, illegally), and historically, this function has been the first can to be kicked down the road.

That's because in the past, any hint of a sewer rate increase would result in red-faced, pitchfork-wielding citizens clogging the 3rd floor corridor to the Down Low Bunker's safe haven.

However, in a supreme irony, the self-described Potty Police seem to have disbanded. Once an eagle, indeed. Not a single angry citizen attended last night's meeting to wag an ominous finger at impending rate increases. Of course, this might yet occur for the ordinance's final reading next Thursday, and if so, the Pee Party will face proud councilmen brandishing brand new magic shields: Don't blame us -- blame the CPI.

It isn't Remember the Alamo, but it will do in a pinch, while fleeing in abject terror.

Last night, kudos are due councilman Scott Blair, a banker, who commented at length on the complexity of the End of EPA sewer document, asking the necessary central questions: Why does something of this magnitude arise seemingly from nowhere, with implied urgency for approval during council's final two meetings of the year, without sufficient time to examine the details of the financial assumptions contained therein?

After all, amid various self-aggrandizing advertisements for his own essential role in the sewer system's victorious Long March, councilman Bob "Bicentennial Bookman" Caesar's introduction of the ordinance included repeated repetitive phrases of this general contradictory tone: There's no real hurry with this BUTDAMMITCAN'TWEMOVEANYFASTER?

The Green Mouse says: Caesar wants to be mayor someday -- and that'll make you move to Ireland quickerthanTrump.

It was only after an hour of debate that The Great Elongated and Exasperated Obfuscator, City Hall corporate attorney Shane Gibson, at last publicly conceded the precise reason for the urgency. It seems someone on Team Gahan finally looked at the needs of development projects slated for TIF-draining in 2017, and concluded that the city would not possess the necessary EPA sewer points even before the usual crony capitalism incentives are applied.

No points, no project ... and no project, no campaign finance beak-wetting. Something's up for 2017. We don't know exactly what, but it's why Caesar spent another evening carrying Gahan's jockstrap, and in turn, why Caesar's bicentennial shenanigans are being shielded by the oily operatives in Gahan's apparatus.

If Gahan could just tie sewer rates with paving contracts, and direct debit the contractors' creamy campaign finance rivulets -- then he really would be a genius, and I could have just stayed home and watched television, too.

Nostalgia.

If Mayor Gahan's new sewer rate initiative is as vital as his press release says, will he actually attend tonight's council meeting to take ownership of it?

Earlier today, just a few hours before tonight's city council meeting, sewer-colored smoke began rising from the flue of the Down Low Bunker. 

Remember when Mayor Jeff Gahan mentioned the sewers during his re-election campaign in 2015?

I didn't think so. That's because he didn't. Following is the text of today's strange last-minute announcement, verbatim. 

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Sewer Board & Mayor Urge Action to Protect Health, Environment, and Economic Growth of City, by the Anchor Propaganda Commissariat.

At this evening's City Council meeting, the City Council will consider support of certain Sanitary Sewer Improvements that will finalize the City of New Albany’s obligation with the Environmental Protection Agency by eliminating all remaining overflows and to take action to protect residents from excessive sewer rate increases.

The New Albany Sewer Board is requesting that the New Albany City Council approve four capital projects and assign a Consumer Price Index for all future rate changes.

The four infrastructure projects include the construction of an underground storage tank, which is being designed to eliminate the remaining sanitary sewer overflows (SSOs) and meet all the final requirements demanded by the EPA under the Consent Decree including the oversight of sewer credits. The New Albany Sewer Board is requesting approval of the City Council to fund a system of underground, odorless storage tanks. These storage tanks will help eliminate the remaining SSOs by containing the contaminated rainwater within the tanks while the sanitary system is at peak capacity due to heavy rainfalls and not producing overflows into the community. As the rainfall and water levels subside, the contaminated water in the storage tanks will then be pumped back into the system. In addition, the Sewer Board is asking the City Council to help fund 2 lift station improvement projects and a clarifier system that helps improve the efficiency of the treatment operation. With these projects, it is expected that no additional major capital improvement projects will be needed for at least 10-15 years and the EPA will release the City of New Albany from the highly regulated consent decree which restricts development by regulating sanitary usage to prevent sanitary sewage overflows SSO’s.

The City of New Albany has been held to an EPA consent decree since 1992.

A Sanitary Sewer Overflow is when untreated sewage is discharged from the sanitary sewer system before it reaches the sewage treatment facility. These SSO’s are mainly caused by rainfall, creating what is known as a wet weather overflow. The EPA demanded the City of New Albany eliminate these SSOs in 1992. Before previous and recent improvements were made, a 1 inch rainfall could cause Sanitary Sewer Overflows in the millions of gallons. Now, with ongoing efforts and improvements like the Sewer Reline Project, even a heavy 3.5 inch rainfall event only produces about 10,000 gallons of SSOs. In 2010, the City identified nearly 80 SSO sites. Currently, the City is down to 16 sites that experience SSOs during certain conditions and rainfalls.

Also as part of the Consent Decree, the EPA has oversight and final approval of any developments within New Albany’s service through the granting of a limited amount of sewer credits. This means the EPA can limit, reduce, or deny economic development projects and growth opportunities for the City. The City of New Albany is experiencing growth, business development and future interest in redevelopment. However, with a limited amount of sewer credits remaining, and final approval of these developments by the EPA, the City could be in a situation of turning down projects and growth for the community.

The Sewer Board has also asked the City Council to assign the Consumer Price Index (CPI) for all future rate changes to protect residents and businesses from excessive rate increases.

On average, sewer expenses have risen 22% over the last 4 years in communities throughout the state of Indiana, and lots of these communities have not taken action yet to protect residents of their communities. Six years ago, residents of New Albany had to experience the harsh consequences of a large sewer rate increase because it was not addressed by prior officials before it became an issue. In 2010 and 2012, customers had to endure a total rate increase more than 40%. By comparison, the City of Jeffersonville had to implement a rate increase beginning in 2011 to 2015 which equated to approximately a 200% increase to customers in their average sewer bill from about $24 per month to $73 per month.

By taking this action, we can help protect residents of New Albany from exorbitant and detrimental rate increase to sewer customers as seen in other communities and help protect their financial situation in the future.

Sewer Utility Finances

Compared with other local communities, the New Albany Sewer Utility is on solid financial footing. The Utility is hopeful that all EPA requirements will be met within the next 3 years, provided the projects are approved that will eliminate the final nuisance SSOs. Current financials show that they Utility will see significant debt reduction of over $4 million annually within 7 years. As a comparison, some local communities are not projected to be debt-free until 2045.

"We’re very proud that we have been able to both reduce debt caused by EPA obligations and protect residents from large rate increases, while simultaneously making improvements to the Utility that help protect the environment. Adopted as presented, this ordinance will set the course for long-term economic growth, protect the health of all residents, and ensure the financial viability of the New Albany Sewer Utility well into the future," stated Mayor Gahan.