I didn't attend the League of Women Voters' fix-is-in-non-debate, and here's why.

Speaking personally, I'm appreciative that so many of you took the time yesterday to ask whether I'd be attending last evening's pompous South Central League of Women Voters' fix-is-in-non-debate at Deaf Gahan's palatial Silver Street Pleasure Dome.

The way I phrased the preceding paragraph just might clue you in as to why I had no intention of attending. I value my health more than that. 

Amid the League's characteristically vacuous blathering as to why softball questions are a better format for incumbent influence peddlers than something approximating a genuine debate -- and reminding all and sundry of the League's abject failure to stage something approximating a genuine debate back in 2015, when I experienced first-hand just how fawning this organization can be when it comes to peer groups and existing power structures -- kindly allow me to repeat a link from last week.

Editorial: Why political debates still matter (LA Times Editorial Board)

But voters have a lot to gain too. In the era of multimillion-dollar campaigns and slick political messaging, nothing beats the potential of old-school debates to reveal and humanize the men and women behind the glossy ads and focus-group-approved slogans.

They still matter, just not here in the News and Tribune's readership area, although by all rights the newspaper should be leading the way by joining with entities like the League to insist that candidates participate in a real, honest, and impartial debates, and publicly shaming them if they won't.

But the newspaper can't muster the minimum integrity necessary to afflict the comfortable, apparently because the comfortable underwrite the newspaper, so we must watch yet again as myriad opportunities are lost even as those chiefly responsible for squandering them beam happily for the camera, inadvertently taking full credit for their joyful roles in cheapening discourse.

A pox on them all, I say.

The problem with 95% of those posturing hereabouts as community "leaders" is that they never bother leading, and probably couldn't define the term if asked. Pretend as you will; I'm always satisfied to be speaking truth, not wishful thinking.

Here's your Bill Hanson nothingness link for Friday, September 13.

Local political forum features New Albany candidates, by Brooke McAfee (Tom May Content Coagulator)

Break out the Bud Light, because the Sanctioned Monument to the Glorious Usual Heroes of the Bicentennial Park Cash Unlimited Uprising is scheduled for unveiling soon.

10:06 p.m. update: It has been pointed out to me that Vic Megenity's name does not appear on the plaque shown below. Remember that time he came before council and asked for a Bicentennial Commission audit ... nah, that couldn't be the reason. 

The devil's in the "details," or so "they" say.

But most would agree that BicenPk is a "fun"damentally better corner, as implemented by "courageous" and "selfless" public servants ... say, wait: Isn't that the new, "unofficial" city seal/marketing tool/branding mechanism right there, engraved on a plaque meant to last forever, even beyond the time when Shayruff Duggins has been exiled all the way back to Clark County?

Like they always say: Every tarp costs a thousand bucks.

Let's all rejoice in the promise of a "better" tomorrow, and a plaque at every house, even as we speculate whether the required tithe on the part of the stone mason has pushed Team Gahan over the $100K mark.

Heavrin "leaves big shoes to fill," and Morris rushes to shine them.

Roughly what the paper's worth, too.

More of the same: Republicans gather to praise a departing "conservative Democrat" whose congenital obstinacy was to creativity what Bud Light is to pet shampoo.

Meanwhile, forever pining for the sports desk, editor Morris never once detects the irony, never asks a hard question, and never doubts his elders -- and he's regarded as the information conduit to detached, sequestered newspaper management in Jeffersonville, itself yearning for hipster redemption in The Ville.

The first paragraph alone might be the most insipid collection of words I've ever seen in this organ -- and Eddie Laduke wrote there.

Well, let's look at the bright side: Heavrin's out. Maybe the Democrats can find a Democrat next time. Insofar as the Alabama pensioners are concerned, this might just be the time to cry uncle.

Heavrin leaves big shoes to fill; Veteran Floyd County councilman’s last day in office is Dec. 31, by Chris Morris ('Bama Fluffer Digest)

NEW ALBANY — Maybe Ted Heavrin should be involved with the ongoing fiscal cliff negotiations in Washington, D.C. With his no-nonsense style and bipartisan approach, he could probably get things kick-started in our nation’s capital.

Join One Southern Indiana for another exciting episode of "Fluff the Franchisors."

Is this the same One Southern Indiana that still runs little-seen ads on desolate cable television backwaters about buying local? Hail the cookie cutters, and pass the yawns.

Upcoming “Meet the Franchisor” event connects potential business owners directly with franchise representatives from nine companies

FranNet of MidAmerica hosts event on October 27

LOUISVILLE, Ky. – (August 28, 2012) – FranNet of MidAmerica, the Louisville-based office of the world’s largest network of independent franchise consultants, will host a “Meet the Franchisor” event on October 27 from 10:00 a.m. to Noon at the Hilton Garden Inn Airport. Admission is free and space is limited. This event will provide a rare opportunity for anyone interested in franchise ownership to connect face-to-face with representatives from a variety of direct-to-consumer and business-to-business entities. To date, nine franchisors are participating and this total is expected to increase as the event date nears.

Watch out for that door (SMACK). Hmm, that could be a nasty bruise.

"There broke forth a wailing and a lamentation."

In which our fluffers make the Falun Gong look tame. At least defenestration isn't an option, given that most of them live in one-story suburban ranch houses.

Picture credit