Caption contest: Mark Seabrook's one-liner.

It's been a while since we had a caption contest. What did mayoral aspirant Mark Seabrook say that was so funny? Comment here or at Facebook. The caption above is merely a sample. Photo courtesy of the Seabrook for New Albany page at Facebook.

Ultimate Caption Contest (UCC): The winning entry depicts music to the ears of the mayor and state representative.

We have a winner in the caption contest of November 14.

Ultimate Caption Contest (UCC): The mayor's words and the state representative's thoughts.

And the winner is ... the Green Mouse.

Ultimate Caption Contest (UCC): The mayor's words and the state representative's thoughts.

It's caption contest time again, and this one's a doozy. Mayor Jeff Gahan is speaking, agoraphobic but safe behind the podium's separation, and State Representative Ed Clere is listening ... and thinking.

Comment here or at Facebook. By the way, I forgot to announce the winners of the most recent caption contest on October 2: Caption Contest: "Which end is up? No, I mean the tree."

AH was declared the winner by acclamation (and after three beers).

Tree: "Thanks for not planting me in Summit Springs!"
Jeff:"QUIET YOU."
Tree: "There shall be no clearance activity until ..."
Jeff: "DIE YOU BASTARD!"

Runners-up:

SS: Can’t wait to come back and cut this down one day!
BS: Gahan National Forest.

Thanks to everyone who participated, because there are times when humor is the only resistance we have.

Caption Contest: "Which end is up? No, I mean the tree."

Did you know the Japanese word for "corrupt" is 破損した ?

Thanks to CA for the photo, which has been lifted from DNA's FB page, which lately has devolved into a forest of #OurNA hashtags and exclamation marks, because the less one has to say, the louder it gets:

Shall we assume that second prize was four tickets?

Will DNA be selecting a matching sombrero for this poor, doomed tree?

Anyway, caption contest: Comment here or at Facebook. If I bother selecting a winner, I'll post it randomly. Or not.

Is Christmas over yet?

And we have a winner in the Greenway Landing caption contest.

Congratulations to Stephen Scott, the LeBron James of NAC caption contests.

But Mark Cassidy's is pretty good, too.

Great minds satirize alike, don't you think?

Greenway Landing caption contest.

Bring your own grill?

Canine capers: And we have a winner for Caption Contest #56.

Future site of the visitor's center.

"Dogs Allowed Only at

Native American Burial Sites."

Thanks to B for the caption.

Caption contest: The nose knows.

Photo cribbed somewhere and contributed by a reader. Comment here or at Facebook. If I bother selecting a winner, I'll post it randomly. Or not. Is it autumn yet?

Time for another Caption Contest: "Mayor in the Open Air."

Thanks to CA for the prompt. The last Caption Contest came back in May, and I'm not sure whether a winner was declared, although in New Gahania, every 1's a winner, baby -- that's no lie.

Caption contest! Papa Ga's got a brand new bag, and he's fixin' to PREsent it.

Ten weeks later, the suit's the same, but check out the exciting new erection on the church.

"Padgett: Viagra for the Spire" ... photo credit: Indiana Landmarks.

Caption contest! Papa Ga's got a brand new bag, and he's fixin' to PREsent it.

The photo comes courtesy of Develop New Albany.

The scene is Gospel Bird's ribbon cutting, scheduled in the morning so as to avoid frightening customers during Happy Hour.

In the rear, you can see the Town Clock Church, being rebuilt in part with public money, while across the street are Bill "Shitlord" Allen's structures, becoming dilapidated without private money.

Main Street is two-way but non-calmed. The mayor's standard issue Soviet-era suit is freshly pressed and redolent of Bud Light.

Now, let's have a caption.

Snow day caption contest time! Put YOUR words in the mayor's mouth.

Only in New Albany can a simple conference call serve as grounds for social media hagiography, but here at NA Confidential, we believe in making lots of lemonade from our city's official citrus fruit.

The editor already is on record: ""Okay, what are we going to do about that dick over in Bicentennial Park?"

While we're on the topic of members, did you know that NAC has published 9,617 posts since 2004, and until yesterday, never once have we used the word schlong?

Bicentennial Park Snow Schlong proves conclusively that public art can be turgid, indeed.

Caption contest: There's just nothing to watch on TV.

Yes, I know.

I didn't declare a winner last time.

Let's give this illustration a brand new caption.

There were plenty of page views, but only two entries. I may have a couple of good ones for the image above, which I photographed earlier today after almost tripping over the TV.

Let's give this illustration a brand new caption.

Overheard at Floyd County Democratic Party Headquarters:

Look, the latest caption contest winner is bobbleheaded.

Sorry Stephen -- I need to win my own contests every now and then.

It's a Monday morning caption contest.

(we probably already know who'll win)

Drinking Progressively: Let's make it Tuesday evenings, beginning on November 25.

We have a "What did John Rosenbarger say?" caption contest winner!

And the winner is SBAvanti63.

Caption Contest: What did John Rosenbarger say?

It's time for another caption contest: "Finish the Top Ten Newspaper Motto List."

How many Progressive Pints do I owe SBAvanti63, anyway?

Today's caption contest comes without an illustration. Simply enjoy this Top Ten list, and fill in the blank at the bottom.

Top Ten List of Famous Newspaper Mottos

10. “World's Greatest Newspaper”
Chicago Tribune

9. “The Truth is Always Fair”
New Orleans Daily Truth

8. “The Oldest Daily Newspaper in the United States -- Founded 1771/An Independent Newspaper for all the People”
Philadelphia Inquirer

7. “Largest Circulation In The Entire West”
Los Angeles Herald Examiner

6. “An Independent Democratic Newspaper Of The First Class Unchallenged In Its Field”
Longview (Texas) Daily News

5. “All the news that's fit to print”
New York Times

4. “Covers Dixie Like The Dew”
Atlanta Journal Constitution

3. “The only good sacred cow is medium rare with fries”
The Putnam Pit (Cookeville, Putnam County, Tennessee)

2. “116 Years In the Town Too Tough To Die/No Tombstone Is Complete Without Its Epitaph”
Tombstone (Arizona) Epitaph

1. "                                    "
News and Tribune (Jeffersonville IN)

Caption contest.

I'm not sure why we bother ... SBAvanti63 always wins, and I never pay the prize (how many pints do I owe him by now? I swear I'm good for them), but here goes another one.

Fill in the white spots from left to right, with your theme being: Da Newspaper.

Bicentennial caption contest, Harvest Homecoming edition: Rent Boy Park dedicated, consecrated and crenulated.

Insert your caption in the comments, or at FB.

Photo courtesy of the 'Bune