Today's Tribune column: "An eventful detour to Pecetto."

It's the second in my summer series of travel recollections from 1985, although not without a moment's pause for venting exasperation.

BAYLOR: An eventful detour to Pecetto

“Why me? Why must I be the one to correct the ignorant American? And on this perfectly gorgeous summer's day, when I might be tending my garden plot or enjoying a lovely wine on the terrace?”

Some of you quickly will recognize the skeleton of this story, it having appeared here at the blog long before my current Tribune column ever originated. Much has been altered, although not at the expense of the gist of the tale. As a writer, I'm prone to compulsion in rewriting my own work. More importantly, faced with a 900 word limit for these columns, essences must be distilled.

Therefore, these stories from '85 appear in different form in the newspaper. However, their key elements remain pecisely the same, unless -- as I've now learned -- they're overruled by prevailing standards of moronic morality here in the Open Air Museum, to wit: Those of you who know Dr. Donald Barry will recall that one of his most famous and recurring observations is quite simple: "Goddamn." Not "Damn," by "Goddamn."

Please read the story to see what I mean by pointing to this distinction. Apparently, when school children who hear the F-word dozens of times daily on the tube read the epithet "Goddamn," they (more likely their parents) are scandalized ... assuming, of course, that the kids were even able to wade through 875 previous words, the likes of which consistently stump adults, themselves supposedly educated, and presumably taught right here in river city.

Kindly note that this vitriol isn't necessarily directed at the Tribune itself. The newspaper generously was consultative before bowing toward the dictates of local pulpits. Rather, my agreeing to censor "Goddamn" into the historically inaccurate "Damn" was something freely offered, so that I might do my little bit to appease our community's simpletons, and as such, I'm given the chance to scoff at "prudishness" all over again, which makes me quite happy.

Too bad. Too bad about something in all this, although it's hard for me to tell exactly what. I hope you enjoy the story.