Grid Control, Vol. 14: Yes, you can still park on the south side of Spring Street during the stalled two-way grid project.

An informative public service message originally posted to the New Albany Indiana group page at Fb by Randy Smith, followed by background from previous blog posts.

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First, a deep breath. The parking spaces shown in front of Destinations Booksellers and Taco Steve are fully available for your use when visiting. This was confirmed to me by the city's parking enforcement officer, though we've had no problems.

We also have parking at the rear of our building as all businesses in this zoning are required to do.

Our neighbor across the street is feeling a pinch and some of his customers say they can't do business with him because of limited parking. I won't get into a debate on the validity of that.

In the interest of being a good neighbor and keeping this temporary situation at the lowest heat, let me say this

All of the marked parking spaces on Spring are public spaces available to the first who need them. But, if you are visiting us, don't be deterred by the orange cones. Even if the cones seem to say "don't," neither we nor the city enforcement officers consider those parking spaces off limits. Parking on the south side will alleviate a temporary crunch perceived by some on the north side. Thanks. 

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As for the background, we've often remarked in this space that while the city of New Albany consciously refrains from enforcing its own parking ordinances "downtown," it refuses to define "downtown" or the geographical parameters of its non-enforcement, as with the idiocy of street sweeping blockage citations.

Here's what I did to beat the "blocking street sweeper" citation scam. Why should anyone pay?

When enforcement of ordinances is purposefully random, how can there be penalties against those cited randomly?

Somewhat along these lines, on October 25, 2016 we considered the implications of self-striping on the northeast corner of Spring & 6th.

ASK THE BORED: With this amazing new invention, you can stripe your own parking spaces!

Last week, it was revealed that if the city has put as much thought into Breakwater parking as it did the water park, we're in for yet another purely dysfunctional treat.

In short, the dental office owner at this corner decided to paint his own parking spaces on public property, leading us to surmise that if he might do so without penalty, we also were free to begin painting crosswalks wherever we wished -- on public property.

What happened next between the city and the doctor is unclear, although there seems to have been a resolution of sorts. The most recent public record can be found in Board of Public Works and Safety minutes from May 30, 2017. Note that in this context, "business parking" refers specifically to the north (westbound) side of the block in question (see wheels, squeaky).

5. Shane Gibson re: Business parking in the 600 block of E. Spring Street

Mr. Gibson stated that he has gone out there several times because of concerns of some local businesses with regards to the new apartment complex. He explained that he met with them a few times and came to a consensus to replace the “two hour parking” signs with three “business parking only from 8:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m.” on the westbound side of E. Spring Street for one year just to see how that works since we are doing the grid modernization and the two-way. He told them it would just be on a trial basis to see if we are facing any potential issues or problems. He added that he would like to do it for one year to see how it goes.

Mr. Nash asked how many spaces it would be.

Mr. Gibson replied that it would be from the alley to 6th Street.

Mrs. Cotner-Bailey moved to approve replacing the “two hour parking” signs with three “business parking only from 8:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m.” on the westbound side in the 600 block of E. Spring Street for a one year trial period, Mr. Thompson second, motion carries.

Apparently there never was a penalty for the brick-painting, and we can surmise that the signage referencing "business parking" (is this a precedent, Shane?) awaits the completion of two-way grid modernization.

We return to Randy's public service announcement. Customers of businesses on the south side of Spring should not hesitate to cross through the demarcation line of orange traffic pylons in order to park and transact business there. 

Thanks to Randy for trying to communicate with the public amid City Hall's perpetual failure to even pretend to try.

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Previously:

Grid Control, Vol. 13: "Dear Deaf Gahan and minions: FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, STOP TRYING TO BE COOL AND DESIGNER-ISH. YOU'RE NOT, AND IT'S EMBARRASSING ALL OF US."

Grid Control, Vol. 12: Meet the artistic crosswalk design equivalent of dogs playing poker.

Grid Control, Vol. 11: HWC Engineering meets with St. Marks, city officials nowhere to be found.

Grid Control, Vol. 10: City officials predictably AWOL as HWC Engineering falls on its sword over striping errors.

Grid Control, Vol. 9: "This was supposed to be discussed with us," but Dear Leader doesn't ever discuss, does he?

Grid Control, Vol. 8: City Hall characteristically mum as HWC Engineering at least tries to answer the cross-hatching question.

Grid Control, Vol. 7: What will the Board of Works do to rectify HWC's striping errors on the north side of Spring Street, apart from microwaving another round of sausage biscuits?

Grid Control, Vol. 6: Jeff Speck tweets about NA's grid changes, and those missed bicycling opportunities.

Grid Control, Vol. 5: Egg on HWC Engineering's well-compensated face as it botches Spring Street's westbound bike buffer cross hatching.

Grid Control, Vol. 4: But this actually isn't a bus lane, is it?

Grid Control, Vol. 3: TARC's taking your curbside church parking, says City Hall.

Grid Control, Vol. 2: Southsiders get six more parking inches, but you gotta love those 10-foot traffic lanes on Spring.

Grid Control, Vol. 1: You people drive so freaking horribly that someone's going to die at Spring and 10th.

ASK THE BORED: With this amazing new invention, you can stripe your own parking spaces!

This week we'll learn how one of these can help when it comes to DYI projects. First, a refresher course.

New Albany's Board of Public Works and Safety exists because the State of Indiana says so.

IC 36-4-9-5

Board of public works and safety; establishment

Sec. 5. (a) A board of public works and safety is established in

each city.

(b) Notwithstanding subsection (a), the legislative body of a

second class city may by ordinance establish as separate boards:

(1) a board of public works; and

(2) a board of public safety;

to perform the functions of the board of public works and safety.

As added by Acts 1980, P.L.212, SEC.3.

As for what the board is supposed to do, you can visit the American Legal Publishing site, search "Board of Public Works and Safety," and sift through various powers accorded the board over the decades by dint of ordinance.

Exactly how much power does our Board of Public Works and Safety possess?

If Jeff Gahan were to stray from the protection of his Down Low Bunker and comment, no doubt he would assert that the board has just the power it needs. He handpicked it, and he's perfectly content to see his program implemented by non-elected boards, as opposed to elected officials.

According to Dan Coffey, the answer is "too much." At the city council meeting back on June 6, Coffey proposed that our council, as a body made up of elected members, should take back authority ceded to non-elected boards. The Board of Public Works and Safety may be established by state, not city, and it may be appointed by mayor, not council, but the board's powers appear to derive from the legislative body.

I mention all this as prelude to this week's installment of ASK THE BORED, wherein we analyze BOW's accumulated record as arbiter of myriad conditions that impact the lives of citizens, as recorded at 10:00 a.m. meetings each Tuesday morning, when John Q. Public is at work.

Last week, it was revealed that if the city has put as much thought into Breakwater parking as it did the water park, we're in for yet another purely dysfunctional treat.

It would appear that Dr. Sisk decided not to "wait and see."

By the way, are those one-way bricks, or two-way bricks?

Pre-election striping: By Mayor Gahan's usual standards, this ALMOST qualifies as political courage.

There hasn't been an explanation for why it took so long, but on Tuesday the striping finally began on Spring Street between Beharrell and Vincennes. Weird and confusing, to be sure, but under way.

You could tell it was underway because social media went ballistic. It was entertaining, I must say.

NAC doubted the striping would happen until after the election, because that's been Jeff Gahan's previous default setting; recall that he refused to discuss two-way streets until after last year's re-election campaign, when the race might have served dual purposes as educational opportunity and political mandate.

If the choice is between open communications and bunker, Gahan's headed down those stairs to the down-low almost every time.

But on Tuesday, I was proven wrong.

As usual, the road diet between Beharrell and Vincennes is a cautious compromise that doesn't go far enough. It's being offered as the sole corrective for toll-dodging, and this probably isn't enough. Worse, it's predicated conceptually on automotive considerations alone, and squanders yet another opportunity to teach the community the value of calming, walking, biking and other manifestations of modernity.

But (perennial advocate of a rational street grid sighs wearily) ... it's something, rather than the usual nothing, and a glimmer of political courage coming from a mayor who seldom shows any.

The city's official explanation is here, and when finished, the street is supposed to look like this.

Maybe it even will.

ASK THE BORED: Restripe Upper Spring Street for traffic calming BEFORE the election? And risk an even higher Luddite turnout? Adam has priorities, you know.

Hmm.

In terms of weather, Thursday of last week (October 13) was acceptable, wasn't it?

But it came, and it went ...







... and Upper Spring Street -- our first and only line of defense against pass through toll dodging -- still looked like this (photos taken yesterday).

However, the Green Mouse spotted two Yellow Jackets making hash marks ...

 ... but considering the roadway was only recently repaved, these must be utility company vandals, right?

I mean, isn't that the way it always works? We pave the street, and as soon as the asphalt sets, the water company tears it up again?

In fact, the restriping sloth probably is intentional.

The Green Mouse Says, "If and when the city finishes the job and restripes the street, the mouth breathers will go berserk."

Meanwhile, the new and improved New Albany City Hall agitprop site now includes information on ongoing projects and current street closures -- assuming, of course, that they bother listing a specific project or street closure.

You'll see nothing there about Upper Spring's missing stripes-for-calming, or prospects for a BOW vote on the Downtown Grid Modernization Project (local Orwell-speak for two-way streets), which the mayor continues whispering about even as the bored insists the fix isn't in.

And, still nothing from Keep New Albany Clean and Green about the clear-cutting at Judge Cody's.

All that steeple work -- and now this. You'd think Irv would be entirely apoplectic.

Look it up, Shane.

Earning stripes? A hands-down winner in the safe streets t-shirt contest.

The Green Mouse has selected a winner: Only malcontents favor safe streets, so let's have a t-shirt.

But there's even more: "My entry is attached. $100 on Amazon if you need one in real life."

Rust-Oleum 2395000 Professional Striping Machine

Product Description
A quality line marker for use on grass/dirt fields and for marking parking lots/lanes. Sturdy steel construction with 4 large easy rolling wheels. Lightweight housing includes windscreen, fingertip on/off lever, storage for 12 extra cans and simple 2" - 4" line width adjustment. Non-toxic aerosol spray goes straight downward for complete coverage. Maintenance free, no messy clean up.

From the Manufacturer
Rust-Oleum Striping Machine makes it easy to apply sharp, crisp, consistent lines.

Yes indeed, Jim. I think I will.