A little-known monument in Fairview Cemetery.

You won't find it in the tourist guides -- do we HAVE tourists? -- but it's one of Fairview Cemetery's most compelling monuments, called the Memorial to the Victims of Inept Urban Forestry.

But Roger, there's no phrenology in New Albany -- that's a 4-syllable word, and consequently an ordinance violation.

A sketch of the Phrenological Cabinet (1860)

Presumably each and every skull specimen in the Fowler family collection voted dutifully for carefully chosen municipal candidates; it's just our luck that Slick Jeffie and Tricky Dickey decided to take notes in THIS history class.

How Profit and Prejudice Built a Family’s Human Skull Collection, by Peter Leman (Atlas Obscura)

Fowler & Wells created a “Phrenological Cabinet” on the racist belief that skulls held secrets about human nature.

ON APRIL 15, 1841, THE day before his execution, Peter Robinson welcomed an artist to his New Jersey prison cell. A possible inspiration for Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart,” Robinson was sentenced to death for killing his creditor and hiding the body beneath his floorboards. He turned away clergymen offering to pray for him, but he didn’t seem to mind the artist, who had been sent by a family of skull-obsessed pseudo-scientists. Whatever his hesitations about preserving his soul, he submitted willingly to the messy procedure of preserving his head as a plaster cast.

Robinson was hanged the following day. The authorities delivered his body to friends and family, as he had requested, hoping to evade the corpse-hungry medical school market. The artist, meanwhile, delivered the cast of his head to the New York firm of Fowler & Wells.

The brothers Orson and Lorenzo Fowler, their sister Charlotte, and her husband Samuel Wells were phrenologists who believed the size and shape of the human skull contained secrets about human nature. They eagerly acquired cranial “specimens” of infamous men like Robinson. Their collection was enshrined in the “Phrenological Cabinet,” a display of casts, busts, portraits, and skulls that eventually grew to nearly 2000 items ...

Experts say golf is dying, and if so, expect the redevelopment vultures to circle New Albany Springs.

For as long as I can remember, during unguarded moments, certain of our city officials have been musing about the potential value and redevelopment potential of the area occupied by the New Albany Housing Authority's property on Bono Road.

They no longer speak with me, but I'm assuming this moistening of lips to have escalated since Jeff Gahan seized control of NAHA early in 2017.

Looking at the map, it's easy to see the military reasoning of these C-minus students, graded on the curve. NAHA is the high ground (topographically, though not morally in terms of Gahan's putsch), from which command of the battlefield is assured.

Just to the south, there's the expanse of Padgett. Some day, and I'm guessing sooner rather than later, someone at Padgett finally will do the math, begin negotiating with state agencies, score incentives and treasure chests, and move those cranes out of the city, into industrial space near an interstate, or River Ridge, probably both.

That's because Padgett is landlocked and can't grow where it is now, and the redevelopment potential (read: money) of its downtown property will become too great to ignore.

At this point, all we'll need to complete the scene is for the current New Albany Springs golf course property to become worth more as housing (alas, probably not as affordable as we'd like to see) than recreation, and the dominoes will fall.

Baptismal Hospital to "cleansed" NAHA land, down the hill to Binford Park and the golf course, continuing through the Padgett redevelopment bonanza, and all of it anchored by a cemetery that might as well be another park. It's the closest thing we're likely to have to the Clarksville South and future JeffBoat makeovers, and it's why the sycophants salivate.

And right there, in the middle of it, completely unchanged, with precisely the same long-necks and Democratic Party Walt Disney Film Nights, there'll be the Roadhouse, like a working museum.

Remember, the Green Mouse told you so.

Dead Golf Courses Are the New NIMBY Battlefield, by Nolan Gray (CityLab)

As the sport’s popularity wanes, vast amounts of underutilized land will open up. Can it be developed?

Golf is dying, many experts say. According to one study by the golf industry group Pellucid Corp., the number of regular golfers fell from 30 to 20.9 million between 2002 and 2016. Ratings are down, equipment sales are lagging, and the number of rounds played annually has fallen.

Part of the bust can be blamed on the fallen fortunes of a single person: Tiger Woods. Golf boomed in the 1990s and early 2000s as the charismatic superstar raked in titles. Then, beginning in 2009, it faced a one-two punch of recession and bad press when its star golfer’s chronic infidelity came to light.

But the bigger story involves the sport’s aging demographics and the athletic tastes of Millennials, who just aren’t that into an expensive, poky sport that provides few health benefits. Unless the golf industry can change its ways, the decline will mean a lot of empty greens across the country. How that land is used—or isn’t—could reshape America’s suburbs for decades to come.

Golf courses and country clubs currently consume massive amounts of relatively underutilized land in cities and suburbs. Across the country, as courses and clubs begin shutting down, hundreds of thousands of acres of land could soon start opening up for infill redevelopment. While not so great for golfers, this could be a boon for cities, especially those facing a housing crunch ...

Even the cemetery isn't safe from Dear Leader's voracious appetite for self-credit.

Coming soon: "Mayor Jeff M. Gahan Presents Today's Sunrise."

But until then, it's back on the campaign trail.

Irv's polling results from Fairview Cemetery show 234 residents against two-way streets, none in favor.

It's "important to be respectful to those who choose to make New Albany their final resting place."

Hizzoner says this one's got to go. Reminds him too much of a middle finger.

It's (finally) a hopeful sign to see Fairview and West Haven getting some long-deferred attention.

March 10, 2014

Neglect of Fairview Cemetery merely reflects generational neglect of entire downtown neighborhoods, but hey -- we'll have a pool.

I have one word for Team Gahan: TREES. Here's the press release.*

Mayor Gahan's incredibly awkward quote is underlined in bold. It's easy to see why they keep him away from the public as much as possible, isn't it?

Improvements to Fairview and West Haven Cemeteries

Fairview Cemetery and West Haven Cemetery will undergo renovations this summer.

At Fairview Cemetery, the City is repairing and installating a new ceiling for the mausoleum after the current ceiling suffered water damage. Additionally, the historic, decorative stone retaining wall is being shored up and repaired with like-materials. The City is also replacing a chain-link portion of fencing with a new metal fencing that will match the historic rod-iron. Additionally, all rod-iron throughout the cemetery will be repaired and restored.

At West Haven, the City is milling and resurfacing the roadway into the cemetery. As you enter the cemetery, there will be a new arched-style gate (similar to the current one at Fairview) installed, and the current chain-link fence will be replaced with decorative metal fencing.

“It’s very important that we are respectful to those who take great pride in making New Albany their longtime home, and equally as important to be respectful to those who choose to make New Albany their final resting place,” stated Mayor Gahan.

---

* I must append this blog comment.

Since when is "wrought iron" referred to as "rod iron"? Doesn't anyone proof read copy? Many know that "rod iron" is iron cut from flat bar iron in a slitting mill to provide the raw material for nails. It isn't "wrought" iron.

Cemeteries as parks. Neighborhood revitalization. Fairview Cemetery. Now, go do the math.

We made another visit to Fairview Cemetery on Sunday morning, and again I was overwhelmed with disappointment that the city of New Albany, over a period of fifty years or more, seems never to have understood the value of treating our key downtown cemetery as a parkland. Think Cave Hill in Louisville, and consider these links.

Our First Public Parks: The Forgotten History of Cemeteries, by Rebecca Greenfield (Atlantic)

cemeteries as parks/open space (Portland, Maine)

Turning Cemeteries for the Dead into Parks for the Living, by Peter Harnik (cityparksblog.org)

For those who can't understand why the current administration's multi-million TIF bonding for two new parks on the periphery is so irksome to me, this is one of several reasons why I keep bringing it up.

The serial neglect of Fairview's surrounding neighborhoods represents a persistent squandering of an immense quality of life opportunity, one not viewed as pertaining to quality of life by generations of functionaries owing to their absence of imagination, as much or more so than money.

Creative thinking.

When did it escape this burg, and can we lure it back?

Neglect of Fairview Cemetery merely reflects generational neglect of entire downtown neighborhoods, but hey -- we'll have a pool.

I went for a long walk yesterday and found myself in Fairview Cemetery, a place I haven't been for a very long time.

Obviously, cemeteries tell us much -- at times, far too much -- about priorities, local culture and our place in history, and perhaps inadvertently, Fairview itself illustrates in mind-numbing detail New Albany's myriad deficiencies.

The photo above hints at the depth of the cemetery's message. See those houses along 8th Street? The cemetery is abutted on one side by some of the city's most degraded housing stock, ramshackle and filth-encrusted, as well as adjoining the seemingly endless expanse of industrial Padgett's "800-lb downtown gorilla" property on the other.

By contrast, think of Louisville's Cave Hill Cemetery's park-like setting or any number of places you've been where a cemetery's metaphorical peacefulness is a base for better surroundings, not slums.

With these memories still fresh, the following article came over the wire. Art, design, creativity ... not foo foo and effete, but in "once-grungy inner-city areas," precisely like those surrounding Fairview now.

And you still can't grasp how and why a $9 million aquatics center is so very annoying .. and sadly indicative of New Albany's generational missed opportunities?

A tour of Cape Town, World Design Capital 2014; Forget fancy galleries – in Cape Town, 2014 World Design Capital, the most exciting work is in the townships and once-grungy inner-city areas, by Lisa Grainger (Guardian)

... "This country is not a place for ninnies," the passionate South African says, pointing at the thousands of shacks that one in four Capetonians call home. "Our crime statistics are horrific. Our economy is in a frightening position and inflation is rocketing. Many of these people don't have food, education or healthcare.

"So why have I brought you here? Because it is in these townships that some of the most inspiring people live: people who are incredible, positive, engaging, brave. And I want visitors to see the good there is here, the real heart of South Africa" ...

Calendar check: STORIES BEHIND THE STONES -- Tour of Fairview Cemetery.

This just in ... thanks, B.

STORIES BEHIND THE STONES: Tour of Fairview Cemetery
Friday September 23, 2011 & Saturday September 24, 2011
(Rain Date-Sunday September 25, 2011)

Enter the Fairview Cemetery at the main entrance on Culbertson Avenue between East 5th and East 7th Streets. The one-hour tour is a ½ mile walk around the Cemetery - First tour starts at 6pm with tours every ½ hour until 9 pm

Tickets may be purchased at Great Harvest Bread Company, 4214-5 Charlestown Road, New Albany, IN 47150

Purchase early so you can choose your tour time.

Advanced Tickets are $10 for Adult and $5 for Children – K-8th Grade.
(If available - $12 & $6 at the Cemetery)

50% of the net proceeds will go to the Fairview Cemetery Restoration Fund and 50% to the Living History Committee of the 2013 Bicentennial Commission.

http://www.facebook.com/newalbany200

Any questions, contact kkessinger@juno.com or 812-987-2132

Of vending machines and ghost walks.

This isn't the most important local story by any stretch, although it slyly points in more than one direction as an all-purpose prompter of discussion.

Great moments in (non?) ordinance enforcement: The Elm Street Coke Machine.

A reliable source tells NAC that it's not a question of if, but when, the machine is confiscated or removed. Legalities are the sole reason for the delay, and the Board of Public Works remains on top of the situation with the assistance of the city attorney.

In other matters, yesterday's Public Works meeting must have been a good one, as that body brought a rare smile to the face of The Gary by annointing a council-free Wendy's on Charlestown Road, and also pre-empted a ghost walk component.

McCartin finds a home for Wendy’s a few blocks from current location, by Daniel Suddeath (News and Tribune).

Gregg Seidl won’t be scaring anybody at Fairview Cemetery during his haunted tour this weekend. The board of works denied Seidl’s request to take tour-goers through the public cemetery due to concerns over the amount participants might have to drink during the event.

And so Gregg will have to spin his scary yarns while walking past the graveyard, not through it.

I must confess that having spent portions of three Parisian visits drinking wine and singing at Jim Morrison's grave in Pere Lachaise cemetery, leading a group through Fairview for an evening visit doesn't strike me as a derogatory gesture, although I readily concede that there's room for conflicting views on the subject, and that the Board of Public Works tends to be one of the most thoughtful and efficient local governmental entities.

Still, should one's blood alcohol content be the basis for official policy in this instance?

If Gregg decided to bring his ghost walkers into the cemetery during customary daylight visiting hours, would someone be on hand to administer breathalyzer tests?

I think the message here is less one of protecting the cemetery's sanctity than the fact that we can expect to see a reaction of sorts on the part of officialdom in response to the minority opinion that it's bad for adults to legally consume alcoholic beverages downtown. It's prudery of sorts, but that's America -- and a likely topic for Michael Moore's next documentary.