Of vending machines and ghost walks.

This isn't the most important local story by any stretch, although it slyly points in more than one direction as an all-purpose prompter of discussion.

Great moments in (non?) ordinance enforcement: The Elm Street Coke Machine.

A reliable source tells NAC that it's not a question of if, but when, the machine is confiscated or removed. Legalities are the sole reason for the delay, and the Board of Public Works remains on top of the situation with the assistance of the city attorney.

In other matters, yesterday's Public Works meeting must have been a good one, as that body brought a rare smile to the face of The Gary by annointing a council-free Wendy's on Charlestown Road, and also pre-empted a ghost walk component.

McCartin finds a home for Wendy’s a few blocks from current location, by Daniel Suddeath (News and Tribune).

Gregg Seidl won’t be scaring anybody at Fairview Cemetery during his haunted tour this weekend. The board of works denied Seidl’s request to take tour-goers through the public cemetery due to concerns over the amount participants might have to drink during the event.

And so Gregg will have to spin his scary yarns while walking past the graveyard, not through it.

I must confess that having spent portions of three Parisian visits drinking wine and singing at Jim Morrison's grave in Pere Lachaise cemetery, leading a group through Fairview for an evening visit doesn't strike me as a derogatory gesture, although I readily concede that there's room for conflicting views on the subject, and that the Board of Public Works tends to be one of the most thoughtful and efficient local governmental entities.

Still, should one's blood alcohol content be the basis for official policy in this instance?

If Gregg decided to bring his ghost walkers into the cemetery during customary daylight visiting hours, would someone be on hand to administer breathalyzer tests?

I think the message here is less one of protecting the cemetery's sanctity than the fact that we can expect to see a reaction of sorts on the part of officialdom in response to the minority opinion that it's bad for adults to legally consume alcoholic beverages downtown. It's prudery of sorts, but that's America -- and a likely topic for Michael Moore's next documentary.

Great moments in (non?) ordinance enforcement: The Elm Street Coke Machine.

Let's kick off Monday morning with a look at just one example of New Albany's chief persistent failing, ordinance enforcement.

An NAC reader asks, "Didn't the Board of Works rule that the Coke machine at 610 E. Market had to be removed?

For photos and the original story, go here: Coke machines and condoms: Let's all vend.

Yes, the board did vote in favor of removal. The vote came at the June 30 meeting, as described below in the meeting minutes. If there has been any updates, they are not available, as no minutes have been posted on-line since July.

A MEETING OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS & SAFETY OF THE CIVIL CITY OF NEW ALBANY, INDIANA, WILL BE HELD IN THE THIRD FLOOR ASSEMBLY ROOM AT THE CITY/COUNTY BUILDING ON TUESDAY, JUNE 30, 2009 AT 10:00 A.M.

PRESENT: Matt Denison, Suellen Wilkinson, Kay Garry, Corporal Mike Lawrence, Dennis Smith Traffic Department, Code Enforcement Officer Tim Teives, Deputy Clerk Marcey Wisman, David Hall, Animal Control, Tim Marinaro, City Engineer

CALL TO ORDER:

Mr. Denison called the meeting to order at 10:02 a.m.

PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE:

NEW BUSINESS:

Item #1 - Matt Denison re: Vending Machine in front of 610 E Elm Street

Mr. Denison stated that Shane McCain is the owner of this property and the complaints have come from several different sources throughout the community. He explained that they vending machine is in a City right-of-way and that Mr. McCain has never been before the board to request permission to put the machine on the property which is what policy requires. He stated they have tried to contact Mr. McCain and sent him a letter requesting his presence at the meeting today but did not get any response. He explained that Mr. Wood said that they have come across some issues but nothing to make them take action and he asked the boards opinion on what action they should take at this time.

Mr. Teives stated that this started with residents complaining about the aesthetics and the fact that this is in a residential area and he explained that the property owners are not residents of New Albany.

Mrs. Wilkinson moved to remove the machine from the City right-of-way, Mrs. Garry second, all voted in favor.

Mr. Denison stated that he would draft a letter and with the approval of Mr. Gibson would send a certified copy to Mr. McCain giving him notice that the city will be removing the machine.

Coke machines and condoms: Let's all vend.

I've been thinking about putting a condom machine in front of my house, with the proceeds not going toward maintaining my slumlord property.

Nice sheet of plywood upstairs for the past three or so years. Was there a window before? Very high standards overall, and caffeine at all hours.

Okay, okay ... I don't own a slumlord property, but I've always been curious as to the standards for matters like this. If it's legal to have a Coke machine in front of my house, then I'm not joking about the condoms.