In which we learn percentages: "That minus is too low to see."

It's probably not an exaggeration to surmise that the Floyd County Health Department didn't think matters all the way through when it decided to usurp seventy years of Indiana regulatory tradition and proclaim its blissful interference in beer pouring permits.

This newfound regulatory precedent-that-isn't, already the legal equivalent of calorie-free soda, got even murkier once the FCHD's own board got through contorting it. As you recall, the board decreed that the original citation would be discarded even as the permit requirement out of thin statutory air still stood, and that beer pouring entities henceforth would not be charged a permit fee even if those fees charged improperly even by the board's own logic would not be refunded.

NABC has pulled the requisite Alcohol & Tobacco Commission permit for this Friday's "A Taste for Art and History" at the Carnegie Center. As the Indiana Court of Appeals ruling Fort Wayne v Kotsopoulos makes perfectly clear, this ATC permit is the only one we need to legally operate on Friday evening. As for the FCHD's temporary food serving permit fetish, it is just as clearly stated (below in beige) that non-profit events needn't pay a fee -- meaning that not one, but two exemptions apply for the pouring of beer and other alcoholic beverages on Friday night.

By my reckoning, 1 minus 2 = negative 1, meaning that the FCHD owes NABC the sum of $20 for the event.

But what of the requirement to obtain a temporary food serving permit, even if it comes without a fee? According to the rulebook (see section in pink below), without this permit, there'll be an assessed fee of 50% of the permit expense.

Okay, so that's $10 for each of the exempted permits; thus added to the $20 the FCHD already owes us for having dipped into negative exemption numbers, the total cost to the health department comes to $40.

I'd prefer payment in cash. Sorry, IOUs from Dr. Tom simply will not suffice. Tell you what: Add it to the $120 already owed us, and we'll go to small claims court.

All jokes (really?) aside, nothing from nothing still leaves nothing, right? With the previous errant citation thrown out by the department's board, we start from scratch, with a clean slate ... right?

I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I'll pray.

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§ 115.37 PERMIT FEES.

(A) Unlawful to operate without paying permit fee. It shall be unlawful for any person to operate a bed and breakfast establishment, retail food establishment and/or temporary food establishment in Floyd County, who has not paid the permit fee required to be paid for the operation of such establishment.

(B) Fees set by Health Department. Permit fees to be paid for the issuance of a permit under this subchapter for a bed and breakfast establishment, a retail food establishment and/or a temporary food establishment shall be set by the Health Department, as provided by the statutes of the State of Indiana, (see I.C. 16-20-1-27), and as set forth and approved by Floyd County Council and Floyd County Board of Commissioners.

(C) Expiration of permits. For permits which upon initial issuance will expire in fewer than 180 days from the date thereof, the applicant shall pay one-half of the fees set forth by the Health Department.

(D) Receipt provided. A receipt for the payment of such fee shall be provided by the Health Department.

(E) Payment required. The payment of such fees shall be required for each bed and breakfast establishment, retail food establishment and/or temporary food establishment operated or to be operated by any person.

(F) Exemption from permit fees. A not for profit organization that offers food for sale to the final consumer at an event held for the benefit of the organization is exempt from the payment of fees. This exemption only applies to organizations that meet the criteria addressed in I.C. 16-42-5-4. The Health Officer shall be provided, upon request, proof of an organization's tax exemption.

(G) Late fees. A late fee (1) for failure to pay the Permit fee prior to the commencement of operation of the bed and breakfast establishment, retail food establishment, and/or temporary food establishment and (2) for failure to renew a permit prior to its expiration shall be paid in the amount of 50% of the above annual fee for such permit, or in such amount as set from time to time by the Floyd County Health Board.

(H) Credit not transferable. Credit for the payment of fees under this subchapter is not transferable or refundable.

(Ord. G-08-14, passed 5-5-2008)