New Albany mayoral politics as Duck Duck Goose without the saving grace of limitless vodka.

Here's the way the C-J's Harold Adams phrases the scrum on Twitter:

Four vie for mayor in New Albany: Two city councilmen, a political newcomer and a three-time loser at the polls ... http://cjky.it/sR0rrj

That's an ouchie for libertarian Thomas Keister, but it is "political newcomer" DM Bagshaw who provides the most memorable quote, underlined:

While this is Bagshaw’s first run for elected office, he said that shouldn’t be a reason to discount him in a contest against Gahan and Messer. “What has their experience gained our community versus my life of inexperience?” he asked.

That's good enough to become the mission statement for New Albany's bicentennial celebration in 2013 ... if we make it that far.

Let's see if I have it straight.

DM Bagshaw would have been on the GOP council ticket for the primary, but was instead sent to the bullpen to await the outcome of party chairman Dave Matthews' backroom mayoral negotiations, first with the twice-elected Democratic at-large council person Jack Messer, who flamed out (see below) and then with lifetime Republican Irv Stumler, who abruptly flipped to the Democrats for a far better deal at sitting (Democratic) mayor Doug England's instigation, but was defeated by Jeff Gahan, meaning that freshly minted council candidate England's master plan to achieve Lebensraum was thwarted, and Messer had spin the bottle a (2nd? 3rd?) time by running for mayor as an independent, his own strategy of jumping to the GOP having been rendered moot by what he says was England's telepathic sabotage in the form of Messer's own widely reported racial malapropisms, and Gahan now finds himself feted night and day by the England cadre, whose jobs depend on his cooperation.

Shit, I should have taken the buck ninety eight and run for mayor on the One Southern Indiana ticket.