Sewergeddon Monday: Delightfully and wonderfully us, and just as perpetually dysfunctional.

The Tribune's Daniel Suddeath resumes his slog through the muck and slime of local sewer politics as mostly usual, and informs us that the New Albany sewer solution could come Monday.

During a Wednesday meeting, Councilmen Kevin Zurschmiede and Bob Caesar declared their intentions to support Mayor Doug England’s proposal that would see sewer customers pay an immediate 23 percent rate increase.

Meanwhile, somewhere on the periphery, as CM Pat McLaughlin rehearses lines from either Hamlet or the memoirs of Donnie Blevins, while The King of Wannabeenville giddily prepares for the prospect of seeing the Publican in bike shorts Monday night, and pausing only to allow Jeff "What Flooding?" Gahan to take his pleasure craft for another outing down the River Styx, the oddsmakers are calculating factions.

Mayor England's "Plan B" has one tremendous positive factor going for it: Wizard of Westside Dan Coffey's against it, and was thoroughly kneecapped by it, although we know that he'll take a pound of the city's future from someone's flesh as retribution, and it doesn't ever matter about Steve Price, since he's been singing Dean Martin (to the tune of "That's Amore") for so long that it no longer matters:

When Maalox comes and tries to get funds -- why ask why?
That's a No vote

When a plan is designed, to make us realign
That's a No vote

Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And I’ll say “Not with my dime"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like the POH-lice overtime

When the facts make you drool, then go and play the fool
That's a No vote

If they’re paving the street, just move fast and delete
That's a No vote

As you snore through their dreams, turn your ire into screams
That's a No vote

Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And I’ll shout, “no eggs in this basket!"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
But the pergessives can fit in one casket

They’re all nooooooh voooohhhhhtttts!!!

So, for the sake of argument and cheap laughs, let's say that there's a 5-4 count in favor of "Plan B from Lower Sewer Space". Given that Gahan and McLaughlin can now be counted on to shine Coffey's shoes on command, one of those "ayes" must be Jack Messer's, right?

And, the vote will be on Monday night, which brings Harold Adams' delightful C-J headline into view: England to review Messer comments on race.

New Albany Mayor Doug England said he will decide Monday whether to act on racial comments made in January by Jack Messer, a city police officer and at-large city councilman.

What the hell is this, a city or "One Life to Live"?

Just imagine if we all set about to accomplish something rather than appease the dullards and pander to the non-achievers. What a wonderful world it would be. I'm not holding my breath. Beer anyone?