I'm not keen on forwarded e-mail, but there are times ...
First, a friend sent a compendium of old "Calvin and Hobbes" panels featuring Calvin and his surreal snowmen. Then, another one deposited a link to this send-up of the disgraced Rev. Haggard.
'Tis the season, and all that, but this is the finest holiday cheer I've had in a while -- and that's just the lyrics, because with a home computer missing sound after recent overhauls, I can't yet listen to the MP3.
Don't forget to visit the site and view the dynamic photo.
SUPERTELEVANGELISTIC SEX-AND-DRUGS PSYCHOSIS
Parody of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (Sherman/Sherman)
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion
PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND Download MP3 (1.8 MB)
I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade
Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade
But if it's true I'm pounding more than pulpits, don't blame me
It's 'cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud's infirmity
It's
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Worse than plague and bird flu crossed with osteoporosis
We were playing doctor and he gave this diagnosis:
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
I found the perfect therapist - the kind that gives massage
I like to drive my Escort and I park in his garage
I swear he only serves me crank when all his Coke is gone
And then he helps me straighten out my Peter, James, and John
Blame
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
That's my greatest guilty pleasure next to Guns N' Roses
Good thing there's no ban on it in all the books of Moses
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly
But Jesus loved republicans and sinners; so must I
Say "Holy moley, Mister Foley! That boy's underage!"
But I believe the congressman has turned another page
Oh!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Next time, better cut me off at handshakes and Mimosas
No more meth or men for me - at least in overdoses!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis!
(Just a spoonful of crystal helps the prostitute go down...)
© Spaff.com 2006+
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6 comments:
wicked funny!
Although I find this distasteful, it does have some humor, satire, and factual information.
The problem with leaders in any organization is that when they make a mistake or repeatedly demonstrate obvious hypocrisy, they undermine the organization or in this case the message.
We are all sinners and our inherent nature is bad, “not good”. Even as Christians, we are all sinners, redeemed, but still sinners and capable of sin and temptation and typically sinning every day.
As Christians, we would like to see a fallen individual (leader or otherwise) demonstrate remorse, true confession, accountability, fruits that benefit repentance and restitution. If he or she is in a leadership role, they need to retreat from that role and understand that they may never be able to return to the same role.
And, if one in Haggard's position didn't base a career on campaigning against himself, the hypocrisy hole in the atmosphere above the North Pole would be much, much smaller.
I concede it is tasteless, to a degree. But the disingenuousness of a life built on gay-baiting bothers me more.
From the NYTimes today: "Pastors' disclosures may stir empathy, some evangelicals say." pg a26 "confessions by two evangelical Christian ministers to having same-sex relationships could lead evangelicals to feel greater compassion toward gay mena nd lesbians, especially those in their congregations, some evangelicals leaders said Tuesday." Further on there's a great quote from The Rev Dr Tony Campolo: "Given the sadness many evangelicals sa they feel for the former pastors,...what we're seeing here is a growing awareness among evangelicals that they have oversimplified, made false judgements and been very very mean to the gay and lesbian community."
Okay. I want to hate this but it really is hilarious.
I do not like to see clergy fall like this because it affirms so many prejudices that exist about clergy that many/most/all of his are hypocritical, self-righteous imposters, etc. The vast majority of clergy are not mega-church pastors and have virtually nothing in common with mega-church pastors.
I can't object to this parody of Haggard on so many levels.
For one, Haggard was, frankly, hateful. The persona he gave of Christianity was one of mean-spiritedness. His wrath was not just on the gay community but on those he did not agree with. And he was pretty vicious about it. Seeing him fall, sadly, is a delight for way too many people because he often worked hard to drag others down.
Secondly, Compolo is right, right, and right. The Christian Church has largely been cruel to the gay community. The Christian Church has also been oblivious to the fact that many gay folks are and have been part of the church. Compassion disguised as 'we have classes to 'cure you,' or, 'you are welcome, BUT.' When "but" comes in the sentence, you are not welcome. As we are seeing there are conservative Christian leaders who are gay. They are, sadly, being destroyed by the very people and the very system they worked to establish.
John,
When I read your words, it almost makes me want to go to church.
I hope that you take that as a compliment and perhaps made you smile a bit.
Mark
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