Happy days are here again: New Albany has an Applebee's -- can flush toilets be far behind?

If you’re looking for firm proof that I sincerely, genuinely want the Tribune to be a better newspaper, look no further.

Free of charge, here’s a labor saving, ready-to-use template for the Tribune reporter who draws the short straw and must stoop to herald the arrival of Applebee’s in New Albany.

online.com/articles/2005/07/18/news/business/business01.txt">Applebee’s comes to Albany, Oregon, by Alex Paul, Albany Democrat-Herald.

His or her research thus completed, the lucky Tribune reporter can proceed directly to the new Applebee’s on Grant Line Road (conveniently located within stumbling distance of Wal-Mart), camera in hand, and photograph the groovy “neighborhood wall,” which incorporates unique local memorabilia to help distinguish the 1,700 “neighborhood” locations of Applebee’s in 49 states.

Looking for the other side to the story? Not a problem, either, because I'm happy to oblige.

Visit my buddy Lew Bryson’s web site and read his classic essay, “Death to Chain Restaurants.”

An excerpt:

Why is a successful chain restaurant bad for my town?
Because it sucks up loan money that local, unique businesses could be using. A banker will always loan money to a guy with a chain restaurant franchise over a guy with a new idea: the chain idea is safe, proven, and bankable. It's also boring, leveling, and is never going to make your town a destination. Sure, it's convenient, it's popular, it's reliable. But what kind of great new food is going to come from a place that gets its potatoes pre-peeled and pre-sliced in 100 lb. plastic bags from a depot 500 miles away? Will people from far away come to your town, shop in the other stores in your town, and tell other people where they live to go to your town...because of your local Ruby Tuesday's? No, but I've done all of that for the Miss Albany Diner in Albany, NY, and it's worth the trip.

The last time Lew came into town, we skipped the Cracker Barrel and had breakfast at Lynn's Paradise Cafe in Louisville.

You get the drift.