Monday, May 09, 2016

Is this the same Guy Fieri who got history's worst (and funniest) restaurant review back in 2012?


Now that the former News and Tribune editor is working for Louisville Business First, will it devote the bulk of its coverage to fluffing chains in Cincinnati?

Inquiring minds want to know, but I digress.

Today the electronic media breathlessness took hold, and it wasn't pretty.

Guy Fieri plans Louisville announcement, by David A. Mann (Louisville Business First)

Celebrity chef Guy Fieri will make an announcement in Louisville tomorrow, according to a media advisory.

The advisory is from Fourth Street Live developer The Cordish Cos., which could indicate that a Fieri restaurant is going to locate there. It says Fieri will make "a special appearance and announcement" during the Hometown Tourist Attraction Showcase news conference.

Yay -- Cordish will save us from ourselves!

Sorry, media shills, but whenever I hear Guy Fieri's name, all I can think about is that epochal gut-buster of a review in the New York Times (2012). If anyone truly belongs at Fourth Street Live, it's Fieri.

If you need me for anything, I'll be dining and drinking locally, thanks. Now, prepare to laugh loud and long.

As Not Seen on TV: Restaurant Review: Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar in Times Square, by Pete Wells (New York Times)

GUY FIERI, have you eaten at your new restaurant in Times Square? Have you pulled up one of the 500 seats at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar and ordered a meal? Did you eat the food? Did it live up to your expectations?

Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex? When you saw the burger described as “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche,” did your mind touch the void for a minute?

Did you notice that the menu was an unreliable predictor of what actually came to the table? Were the “bourbon butter crunch chips” missing from your Almond Joy cocktail, too? Was your deep-fried “boulder” of ice cream the size of a standard scoop?

What exactly about a small salad with four or five miniature croutons makes Guy’s Famous Big Bite Caesar (a) big (b) famous or (c) Guy’s, in any meaningful sense?

Were you struck by how very far from awesome the Awesome Pretzel Chicken Tenders are?

No comments: