It’s a wonder that 3rd District Councilman Steve Price ever leaves his house.
Just think of all the problems out there in the real world, and how at any moment, without warning, things might go tragically wrong.
As he noted last evening, “lightning can strike.”
So can earthquakes, cyclones and droughts, and if the wrong mosquito bites you, it’s all over.
Food? Think of all the additives and chemicals, the undiagnosed allergies, the chicken bones down the throat, and that whole disgusting Wendy’s chili story.
What about traffic? You’re lucky to make it across the street alive. Any minute, some moron using a cell phone might swerve across the center lane … and then what?
As he approaches the threshold each morning, does CM Price question the efficacy of stepping outside into a world filled with inherent risks?
Does he pause, quavering at the prospect of the unthinkable, then crawl back into a warm bed to “look at the bigger picture?”
Such a reaction seems plausible, given that he has taken to regular expressions of fearful and apocalyptic caution at each and every city council meeting, usually at the precise moment that the words “Scribner Place” are mentioned.
We’ll leave the Pavlovian implications of Price’s jerking knee and ticklish larynx to those trained in the fields of psychology, sociology and Wal-Mart shopping.
Credit my unrepresentative representative for having completed a difficult mid-term transition, from clinging Coffeyite toady to cynically calculating practitioner of the political art of the scare tactic, which is designed to arouse groundless fears in the minds of voters, and then to cite these fears as evidence of the claim he is making.
Accordingly, New Albany’s “no progress at any Price” sect is happy to have Li’l Stevie as its council spokesman. Although council allies of the unreconstructed Brambleberries, apart from Price, remain on board the Luddite bandwagon, their public rhetoric has become increasingly muted, leaving him as the Ken Doll rallying point for the retrograde movement to 1948.
But what’s a rally without a flag?
From this point forward, any problem we face as a community will be hurriedly hoisted up the anti-Scribner Place flagpole to observe the reactions of the troglodyte populace. Here's their pitch:
Cataclysmic, once in a lifetime rainstorm … proliferating meth labs … sewer repairs …pot holes … teenage pregnancy … the alarming fact that we can’t find a really good Reuben sandwich at any of our downtown lunch spots?
Scary, huh? With problems like these, how can we afford Scribner Place, especially since they’re going to use your property taxes to pay for it?
See, look – the people are scared! Circle the wagons! Like that great Democrat FDR said, “we have nothing to fear but ourselves!
Of course, when the attention span of terrified residents begins to wane, yet another reason to be afraid will be substituted for the previous one, it will be linked directly to Scribner Place, up the flagpole it will go, and the process of disinformation will be repeated.
Set against this incessant refrain of negativity, there is the patient voice of City Hall, which does not explore the depths of our degradation, and does not conclude that we can’t, but instead, proposes to illustrate how we can.
Media Coverage of last night’s meeting:
New Albany rejects proposed subdivision on Kenzig Road, by Ben Zion Hershberg (short shelf life on Courier-Journal links).
New Albany Tribune
Plan proposes using property taxes to back up Scribner Place bond, by Amany Ali, Tribune City Editor.
An excerpt from the Tribune article:
Randy Smith isn't being fooled by anyone. And neither is Rick Carmickle. Both understand the meaning and purpose of a proposal for the city to use property taxes to back up a bond to fund a downtown development project.
Volunteer Hoosier (that'd be ... Randy Smith, who isn't being fooled)
Open Letter to Some Friends