ON THE AVENUES: Opposition? It is defined as resistance or dissent, expressed in action or argument, and in New Gahania, now's the time for it.

ON THE AVENUES: Opposition? It is defined as resistance or dissent, expressed in action or argument, and in New Gahania, now's the time for it.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

Beating a dead horse sounds like the perfect tourist attraction to take place alongside Harvest Homecoming, belly-up Boomtown, or maybe even Develop New Albany’s purely confiscated Taco, Broccoli and Lutefisk Walk.

Just imagine Dan Coffey getting ex post facto, post-it-note permission from animal control to run the dead horse beating exhibition on city property.

DNA might pitch into the festivities with used maracas and sombreros, and then Coffey can expedite the proceeds to his Save the Copperheads (and Pay the Electric Bill) Fund.

But not until Jeff Gahan wets his beak, of course.

Today I’ll be lecturing on the necessity of principled opposition to ensure a healthy municipality, although first, precisely because we’ve reached mid-July levels of heated cynicism amid the prevailing arctic freeze, let’s take another look at the News and Tribune’s recent softball-toss, high-gloss fluffery with interviewee Gahan:

“New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan excited about New Albany's future.”

Oy vey, said the blind man.

Excitement of this inflated magnitude is dollar-clad tumescence we don’t need, at least without an air sickness bag.

Mamas, please don’t let your sportswriters grow up to be editors.

Pretty please?

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There isn’t any need to parse line-by-line these exaggerated claims made by Dear Leader.

If you’ve already been drinking Adam’s brand of high-octane KOOL-Aid, you’ll be shocking the kitties with choruses of "Kumbaya" as our posturing mayor heartily congratulates himself with the “shucks, just can’t help it if I’m perfect” plea familiar to cloistered autocrats (or Greg Fischer) since time immemorial.

Conversely, if you’re a regular reader of NA Confidential, you know that each item on Gahan’s unchallenged-by-‘Bune list of glorious civic achievements previously has been contested and dissected in this space.

In fact, although you wouldn’t know it from reading the local chain good-news-paper, there are vigorous and ongoing debates about certain of the campaigning points, including the flawed street grid realization, luxury parks funding, clearcutting of the urban canopy and the public housing putsch.

Granted, it’s inevitable that elected officials like Gahan are given a free pass to indulge in blatant electioneering by this or any other newspaper unwilling or incapable of covering local politics more rigorously.

And make no mistake: Gahan’s self-congratulatory comments to the newspaper’s stenographer are political in nature. Period. That’s because politicians are political, by definition. They're inseparable, and it’s the whole point of the exercise.

Ideally, differing political thoughts are debated in something vaguely approximating a free marketplace of ideas, but how does local opposition to Gahanism break through the cheerful cordon of the newspaper’s perennial, unquestioning business-as-usual bias toward public officials?

Yes, we might write letters, which are restricted in length and consigned to the dark inner pages in both newsprint and metaphor. A more representative roster of local columnists could help tilt the balance. Bill Hanson might awaken to a clue some random morning; then again, there's no point delving into unscientific fiction.

However, in large measure, the opposition movement in New Albany speaks through this very blog, which points to a curious omission.

Gahan remains a presumed Democrat, and the bedraggled remnants of the so-called Democratic Party’s increasingly mediocre political machine have managed to keep hold of the city’s levers.

American history teaches us that one group in particular should be especially keen to seek redress to this imbalance.

So, where the hell are the Republicans in terms of the opposition?

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Consider the notion of a mayor’s annual “State of the City” address to city council, as mimicking the tradition of the president’s State of the Union speech before Congress.

No, it isn’t a legal requirement, although I’m prepared to argue that it should be. In New Albany, even Doug England showed up and gave such an update to council once each year. Jeffersonville’s Mike Moore still does.

Unsurprisingly, this practice has been abandoned by Gahan, who during his own two underachieving terms as a council representative would have been the first to criticize a sitting mayor’s absence. Perhaps because irony is New Albany's default state, no one seems to take note of its constant presence.

Instead, Gahan in effect gave his State of the City testimony to the News and Tribune – which asked no probing questions and meekly rehashed the transcript, and that’s the real problem, seeing as each year when POTUS is finished speaking to Congress, the opposition party provides a response.

You know, a rebuttal. The other side of the policy divide. Alternatives to orthodoxy. Hope for the dissidents.

In New Albany, why is the humble blog of a pants-down independent social democrat relied upon to provide the rebuttal to a speech the DemoDisneyDixiecratic mayor refuses to give?

Shouldn’t a Republican be doing this, too?

After all, given the reality of America bound and gagged by a two-party duopoly, isn’t it the obligation of the opposing party to oppose? To provide the alternative? To show some semblance of a pulse?

Look, I’m not suggesting opposition for the sake of opposition. Obviously, there must be viable content, but if we’re to adhere to this idea that two political parties adequately represent competing political value systems, it would be instructive to hear the council’s three Republicans make THEIR ideological case, if only occasionally.

And what better time to educate the populace than amid the gaping communications void helpfully provided by the annual State of the City speech Gahan can’t bring himself to give?

All that’s really needed is a cell phone and a Republican willing to sit down in front of a flag and start talking about what just now DIDN’T happen – and what SHOULD be happening.

Of course, in an age of instantaneous worldwide communications, the city of New Albany can’t so much as bring itself to film or broadcast ANY of its meetings, an increasingly simple function that would do more to enhance transparency in a cost-effective way than any number of blog screeds or live council tweet fests.

Mayor and council; Democrats and Republicans. Annoyingly, they all seem to prefer non-transparency, and that’s a matter for further discussion and dissection in its own right. Until then, if public officials irrespective of party affiliation really believe in greater transparency, shouldn’t they be busting their asses to advocate for it?

Dear reader, you may or may not agree with the tone of my political pronouncements here at NA Confidential, but you simply cannot say I don’t doggedly pursue my deranged oppositionist beliefs with persistence and passion.

Accordingly, while recognizing the many solid actions in community service performed by Republicans, I’m having a hard time understanding why they aren't taking on (and talking) a more conspicuous role.

Well, at least they’ll still TALK to me. I'm a leftist, and whenever one of Adam's pretend Democrats sees me coming, they cross to the other side of the street.

And admittedly, I broadly grin ... the wankers.

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Republicans within city limits, please take note.

It is 2018, and Gahan is handing you blessed daily material on the proverbial silver platter. Tradition be damned; the 2019 campaign has started. It began here at NAC in mid-November of 2015.

You need to be doing a monthly video (for now, at least), in which a Republican offers some semblance of an opposition viewpoint to Gahan’s megalomania.

You can take turns speaking; it doesn’t matter. If Gahan won’t give a State of the City address, a Republican needs to give it instead. I understand you’re considering a GOP platform for the 2019 election, and this is a fine and overdue idea. Bring it on. Remember, the marketplace of ideas is preferred by many, though abhorred by the likes of Gahan.

Full-court press him, damn it.

I don’t care how long Mark Seabrook’s family has lived in the city. It isn't his turn unless he chases the ball. Republicans cannot win in 2019 by dropping into a zone defense; Gahan will dribble near mid-court and run out the clock, prattling all the while about his nice shiny objects, and keeping the credit card bill hidden safely beneath the mattress.

Please consider joining the rest of us in the opposition by turning up the pressure. Gahan might pull off a few fast break layups, and yet as the incredibly revealing viral video yesterday proved so tellingly, when he’s pressed, he turns the ball over, again and again.

Verily, I foresee a path for a Democrat other than the incumbent to win the mayor's race in 2019; more about this at a later date. In the meantime, the enemy of my enemy is my bosom companion. It’s time to join the fray, urban Republicans.

As for NA Confidential, we’ll continue to work our selected street corner with style and panache.

That’s why we’re here, ya know.

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Recent columns:

December 28: ON THE AVENUES: It's the beginning of the end of insipid Gahanism, so let's look back at the Top Ten columns of 2017.

December 21: ON THE AVENUES: Truth, lies, music, and a trick of the Christmas tale (2017 Remix).

December 14: ON THE AVENUES: My Franz Ferdinand heritage trail, 30 years ago in Sarajevo.

December 7: ON THE AVENUES: Say goodbye to all that, and expect the bayonet.

Gahan AWOL as Kokomo's mayor speaks: "Public safety is also about the health and well-being of our citizens.”

Judging from the following, Kokomo's Democratic mayor sounds almost ... egad, democratic.

And in Indiana, no less. How is it even possible?

Here in New Albany, Jeff Gahan's ongoing vermin eradication crusade against New Albany's least well-off citizens has taken on such central importance that he can't even take the time to deliver a State of the City address.

Maybe a PowerPoint of photos depicting the many bright shiny objects erected during Gahan's tenure, to the detriment of the tax base? That'd bring out the crowds, wouldn't it?

How proud are you, local Democrats?

Let us know what you think.

You are thinking, aren't you?

Mayor takes aim at improving local health, by Devin Zimmerman (Kokomo Perspective)

Greg Goodnight cites personal health as chief reason for improving city infrastructure

For the City of Firsts, 2017 seems to be the year of public health.

For the bulk of Monday night’s State of the City Address, Mayor Greg Goodnight took a different take on addressing the health and safety of Kokomo’s citizenry. To combat issues such as death by heart disease, diabetes, and car crashes, the mayor aims to continue improving the city’s infrastructure to promote a safe, walkable environment.

“Most people’s first thoughts about public safety probably go to police and fire,” said Goodnight. “Some may also think about traffic signals or snow removal. These are all important pieces to the puzzle. But the reality is public safety goes well beyond the number of police officers on our streets or how many fire trucks are parked at the stations. Public safety is also about the health and well-being of our citizens.”

To this end, the mayor examines the numbers. Goodnight cited CATO Institute statistics, which indicate American citizens are 70 times more likely to die of diabetes and heart disease than they are from violent crime. Americans, he said, are also 20 times more likely to die in a traffic accident than in a fire.

In the same vein, Goodnight said CATO Institute numbers indicate that the chance of dying at the hands of a foreign terrorist are one in 46 million, but one out of every 113 Americans will die in a traffic accident. Meanwhile, one out of every 53 Americans die from diabetes, and one out of seven Americans succumb to heart disease.

But locally, said the mayor, the statistics are more concerning. Citing the 2015 America’s Health Rankings, Goodnight claimed Indiana ranks in the bottom 10 states in overall health, and Howard County ranks in the bottom half of Indiana’s 92 counties.

“These are the real risks,” said Goodnight. “Traffic accidents also are the leading cause of death among teens and young adults. So much so, that our young people are three times more likely to die in a traffic accident than they are from cancer. Now, most of us, if we could, would move mountains to prevent cancer in children. Yet, when it comes to redesigning streets to make them safer for our young people, unfortunately through misinformation and misplaced priorities, it is often fought every step of the way. It is this that gets in the way of actually improving the health, safety, and lives of our citizens.”

To this end, the mayor said 2017 will bring continual changes that promote healthy lifestyle choices. Just as in recent years pedestrian refuge islands have been installed on South Washington Street and curb extensions have been built around downtime to promote walkability, this work will continue. After all, said Goodnight, a study from Harvard University showed that walking reduced the risk of cardiovascular events by 31 percent.

“Smart streets are safer,” said Goodnight. “After hundreds of studies, the data has shown that narrowing lanes, adding medians, building curb extensions, and planting trees along the street will, together, result in fewer accidents. And the few accidents that do occur will be much less severe.”

Jeff mayor's "state of the city" address on Tuesday was delayed five minutes, but for Mayor Jeff, it's been six years -- and counting.

To be sure, Mike Moore's "state of the city" address was little more than the usual yawner platitudes punctuated with auto-erotic back-patting, but at least he stood up in front of actual humans and spoke.

"It's going to be another exciting spring and summer in downtown Jeffersonville," he said. "Hundreds of thousands of people have already walked across the Big Four Bridge and have been pleasantly surprised by what's waiting on this side. But there's so much more to come."

Evidently Moore isn't finished, either. I always enjoyed finishing, but to each his or her own.

Of course, even if New Albany's mayor could muster a solitary yearly speech in the relative security of the third floor conference room (a hurdle he's yet to clear), it wouldn't change the sad diagnosis of agoraphobia.

Agoraphobia (ag-uh-ruh-FOE-be-uh) is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and often avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed ... people with agoraphobia often have a hard time feeling safe in any public place, especially where crowds gather. You may feel that you need a companion, such as a relative or friend, to go with you to public places. The fears can be so overwhelming that you may feel unable to leave your home.

It's simply impossible to imagine Gahan making like a British Prime Minister by subjecting himself to questions from elected officials, much less catering to ordinary citizens. Floyd County Democrats currently are gleefully (and rightly) lambasting Trey Hollingsworth for refusing to hold public meetings, but when has their shining mayoral light ever done so?

That's hypocritical, isn't it, Adam?

While I'm thinking about it, there's a brilliant new parody at Twitter. It's called @DeafGahan, and yes, the author isn't known. That's because Twitter allows anonymous parodists, including Rogar Bayler.

I wish it were otherwise, but no one has asked for my opinion.

Previous merriment:

Another year slips past without a "state of the city" address by Jeff Gahan, but his press releases say we're flying high.

New Albany: It's Where You Should Be (!) UNLESS You Want to Hear Mayor Gahan Give a State of the City Address.

Chronicles of New Gahania: Governance by press release.

Vaughn, Within City Limits: Episode II, The State of Our City.

Another year slips past without a "state of the city" address by Jeff Gahan, but his press releases say we're flying high.

See, even Google can't find one.

January 23, 2017

As Deaf Gahan hunkers in the bunker, America’s small-town mayors are speaking out -- about their communities, about Donald Trump, about SOMETHING.

February 4, 2016

Chronicles of New Gahania: Governance by press release.

September 24, 2015

ON THE AVENUES: Almost two years later, Mr. Gahan has yet to plug in this clock, and so it's time for him to clock out.

December 30, 2013

"Moving forward" in year-end interview, Mayor Jeff Gahan says absolutely nothing about two-way streets.

And so on, and so forth.

As Deaf Gahan hunkers in the bunker, America’s small-town mayors are speaking out -- about their communities, about Donald Trump, about SOMETHING.

Here's what we've gotten so far from Jeff Gahan, mayor and de facto kingpin of the Floyd County Democratic Party, or at least until the party's chairman has the good sense to resign or be fired.

Gahan said he looks forward to positive actions by the new administration — President-elect Donald Trump and Indiana's own Gov. Mike Pence, who will take office as vice president Jan. 20. “We certainly are rooting for them to be successful, too,” Gahan said.

But here's the funny part. Here in New Gahania, not only does the mayor have nothing coherent to say about Trump; he also refuses to give "State of the City" speeches, or to attend city council meetings, or to emerge from the Bunker of Down Low Governance for any reason at all.

Let's not forget what agoraphobia can do to the weak-willed, because instead of addressing Trumpism, or making a speech about the city, or emerging from the bunker for any reason at all, Gahan has had ample time to target a loyal Democratic city council attorney for removal from his job because a self-described council Copperhead snake who quit Gahan's dysfunctional party in a fit of pique but now has palms extended, waiting for the inevitable envelope, has a hard-on to kneecap someone.

Read about it here. As POTUS would say: SAD.

What America’s Small-Town Mayors Think About Trump, by David Murray (The Atlantic)

The local leaders are breaking from tradition to weigh in on presidential politics.

Just as a U.S. president delivers an inauguration speech or a State of the Union address, mayors across the country deliver State of the Village speeches. But while presidents can speak in broad strokes, mayors are expected to detail the town’s accomplishments. As a result, these speeches are typically less aspirational and less rhetorically artful. Yet this year, a number of small-town mayors broke from tradition, as they weighed in on presidential politics.

New Albany: It's Where You Should Be (!) UNLESS You Want to Hear Mayor Gahan Give a State of the City Address.

Too bad we're an Irony Free Zone.

Earlier today Mayor Mike Moore of Jeffersonville gave his fourth State of the City address from a meeting room of a Clarksville hotel. The CJ's Lexy Gross had the best comment:

Millennials -- they're the rich ones, right?

But seriously: Think we might be able to bring Moore to New Albany?

It might be our only chance to hear a State of the City address during Jeff Gahan's time in office.

Chronicles of New Gahania: Governance by press release.

During Monday evening's city council meeting, there was much discussion about the way our governmental branches should best interact. What is the healthiest balance between what the mayor wants, and what the council is bound to examine, in terms both of financial impact and plain viability?

Some of these thoughts may even have been non-partisan, although it's always risky to assume the best.

However, the single most telling comment came from a frequent observer, just before the meeting started.

"When's the last time that Mayor Gahan came to a meeting?" 

If memory serves, it was about a year ago, during the Pillsbury crisis. Other mayors make "state of the city" addresses live, in person, before the elected body with which they must work. Ours releases a video, and a steady stream of press releases.

Note the irony of the newspaper's coverage. I'd like to think Morris phrased it this way on purpose, for after a meeting taken up by talks about the absentee mayor's forthcoming wishes -- hinted at only euphemistically by his offensive linemen, who of course were in attendance, there was this.

Ordinance giving New Albany City Council more authority over projects fails, by Chris Morris (Otisco Orion)

... After the vote, New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan released a statement thanking the majority of council members for voting down the ordinance so 2016 projects could move forward. He said the administration will soon be introducing capital improvement projects in the coming months that will include historic preservation, pedestrian and bicycle safety, facade improvements, environmental preservation, public art and city beautification.

Just imagine if he showed up every once in a while. Communications might -- dare we say -- improve?

Vaughn, Within City Limits: Episode II, The State of Our City.

Vaughn, Within City Limits: Episode II, The State of Our City.

By Nick Vaughn, Guest Columnist

With the President giving his final State of the Union Address and our Governor giving his annual State of the State address, I thought it would be fitting to give a State of the City Address.

The Mayor of New Albany is not required to meet a congregation of City Council members, Board of Works members, etc., but maybe he should. Admittedly, our Mayor doesn’t show up to regular City Council meetings. He merely sends a representative to read a glowing written statement about some vague platitudes along with your typical “I am still the Mayor” hoorah that is all but expected anymore.

But what if our Mayor were required to give a State of the City Address? Would he do it? He wouldn’t be required to do so, but it would be the right thing to do. What would he say? I’m sure there would be sharp contrasts between mine and his. The following is what I would say in an address to city officials if I were Mayor.

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“President McLaughlin, City Council Members, distinguished guests, and my fellow New Albanians.

I could stand here and rattle off all of the negative aspects that are holding our city back. I could talk about how poverty hasn’t been fully addressed when nearly a quarter of our fellow citizens live in dire, dire poverty. I could talk to you about the lack of transparency and general openness our city government lacks. I could even talk to you about our misuse of TIF funding, our bloated budget, and large amount of debt. But I’m not going to. I am instead going to focus on what we can do to make our city the wealth of opportunity we all know it can be.

It’s easy to complain. To come up with solutions to our problems is the tough part that many people stray away from. Everyone wants New Albany to succeed, and we can accomplish this shared goal by making it easier for our local businesses to flourish and by building a better business climate. We need to look into ways that we can cut our wasteful and inefficient spending so that we can put our money back into the local economy and the pockets of our fellow citizens.

Let’s partner with our local industries to help end poverty by creating job training partnerships that allow those in poverty to get back into the workforce so they can become self sufficient and rise through the income levels.

Let’s take a real hard look at our downtown area and figure out what we want it to be. We need to have an actual discussion about two­-way streets and how they could help develop our downtown area into something truly magical. This clearly won’t happen overnight, but the discussion needs to be started now; we paid lots of money for a professional study to be conducted on our street grid and there has been nearly no action.

Let’s say no to irresponsible TIF use and begin to construct the path towards responsible spending. If we are to use TIF, we need to use it for economic development, and I am honestly not convinced an aquatic center was the right move.

When I think of economic development, I think of reaching out to businesses, seeing what their needs are, as well as creating fair incentive packages for developers so that New Albany is an attractive place to be for them. There is a very fine line, however, between a fair incentive package and corporate welfare, we all need to be wary of this fact so that we don’t show favoritism towards some corporate entity before we make sure our fellow citizens don’t get screwed out of the deal.

In closing, our city is not Jeffersonville or Clarksville, and I am very much okay with that. We don’t need to be anybody but New Albany, we need to use our unique environment, location, and wonderful people to craft what we want New Albany to look like down the road. Our biggest asset is our potential, and it is time we seize the moment and channel that potential into actual results.

We have many obstacles facing us in the coming days, months, and years. But let us not fear the obstacles. Let us not waver. We can be the best city in Southern Indiana to open a business, to live, and to raise a family. It will just take some effort, concentration, and an open dialogue. Let’s get to work!”

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Thanks for reading! I will leave you with this eloquent quote from Martin Luther King Jr.:

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

ON THE AVENUES: Almost two years later, Mr. Gahan has yet to plug in this clock, and so it's time for him to clock out.

Tonight there'll be a softball toss masquerading as a debate, in a Taj Mahal that shouldn't exist, as organized with bored partiality by local Democrats, for whom job security comes before any substantive commitment to substance or ideals of impartiality, and really -- should any of this come as a surprise?

It's what happens in a top-down, one-party state.

At least all three mayoral candidates will be in attendance tonight, although if Kevin Zurschmiede had not opted to purchase a round-trip ticket from his son's destination wedding, Jeff Gahan would have achieved his ideal of not having to face both opponents at once. Whether undertaken from conniving or cowardice, Gahan's "debate" planning should be offensive to every voter in this city.

This column was written on New Year's Eve, 2013. That's almost two years ago, and obviously, much has happened since then. The outside vendor still has the communications contract, but Gahan's minions write the script, so it isn't ProMedia's fault that during 2015, social media and municipal outreach have been devoted almost exclusively to Gahan re-election bromides -- at taxpayer expense, of course.

Downtown decision-making continues to be made according to prevailing Eastridge Drive Neighborhood Association standards of suburban-think, as opposed to urban logic. Bob Caesar gave up the wrong vocational ghost, retiring from jewelry sales, which he was good at doing, and retaining his political seat (not so much). The backroom antics continue, with no-bid contracts and the ritualistic Hooters visits by the economic dishevelment department.

We await the first pangs of John Rosenbarger's shame at not only signing off on millions to plant flowers in front of his Main Street home, but watching as the preferred non-union pavers have gotten his pet project wrong so very often that they're now being confused with the management of the Oakland Raiders. I'm not holding my breath on this one.

Sadly, overall -- 21 months later -- I stand by this paragraph:

More urbanism, not less. More transparency, not less. More localism, not less. More public information and participation, not less. More thinking and doing outside the stunted, Democratic Party-smothered obstruction zone, not less.

I hope to see some of you later today at Silver Street Park. The session begins at 6:00 p.m.

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ON THE AVENUES: Mr. Gahan -- plug in this clock.

A special New Year's Eve column by Roger A. Baylor.

Perception.

Reality.

They’re how I’ll remember the year 2013, and so appropriately, two New Year’s Eve tweets tell the whole story, and nothing but the story.

From City of New Albany Government: It's New Year's Eve and the City of New Albany wishes everyone a happy and safe night. It was a great year here in New Albany and the future of 2014 looks bright for our city!

From Jeff Speck: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it." -- Upton Sinclair

(By the way, the city’s utterance today might be the last authored by ProMedia, which cannot be blamed for municipal government’s notoriously non-responsive social media effort. The Green Mouse is told that these communications are to be taken back in-house. Shall we speculate how this decision will impact exclamation mark futures?)

Meanwhile, aside from musical memories coming on Thursday in this space, there’ll be no year in review.

That’s because it was another in a series of mediocre, underachieving years, in which New Albany largely reaffirmed its half-century commitment to repeating the same reactive actions over and over, while hoping the outcome might be different this time.

The Bicentennial was utterly wasted with same-old-suspect buffoonery. There was no plan for economic development downtown, and there are no plans to have a plan. Selected property owners were fluffed, while others were relegated to the iron rule of the slumlord. We’ll have a wonderfully expensive parks system, and use our cars to drive back and forth between them on streets designed for high-speed, reckless driving, while ignoring success stories in other cities, where the city itself has become a recreational area simply by taking back its street grid. The Democratic Party substitutes words for action, and the Republican Party is so moribund and devoid of an intellectual pulse that it doesn’t even have its own Tea Party insurgency.

Even the tea partiers understand the meaning of wasted effort, and concentrate their attention elsewhere.

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I’m always exhausted at year’s end. This year, as my business approached the end of what amounted to a five-year plan, it has taken much more effort than usual to plan for the next phase. Curiously, as both the city of New Albany and America’s craft beer segment have declared victory, there’s a nasty bubble waiting to pop, although willfully blinded eyes are averted.

Craft beer’s headed for an adjustment, borne of over-capacity among breweries dependent on production-level distribution. There will be casualties. In like fashion, downtown revitalization in New Albany faces the very real likelihood of a slowdown. We’ve gone as far as we can go with smoke and mirrors. Now more than ever, we need the city to put some skin into the game.

Louisville, Jeffersonville and even Clarksville have development plans and strategies to garner entrepreneurs and their dollars. In New Albany, we have enough eateries and bars, and we may well have too many. There needs to be a next phase; and yet current indie business operators are hard-placed to find the time to cooperate. Non-profits are inconsequential. There are no downtown housing initiatives. Ideas that can help right now – a street grid that supports, not defeats, the sort of indie ethos we’ve painstakingly built with our own money – are marginalized by city leaders bizarrely ignorant of urbanism and forever afraid of their own political shadows.

And the newspaper’s top stories of 2013?

Two murder trials, River Ridge, the Floyd County auditor’s incompetence, the city’s new unconnected parks department … and the Ohio River Bridges Project.

Shall I state the obvious?

The ORBP is the undisputed 800-lb gorilla casting a shadow over every single thing mentioned here. We might be doing something about it now; for instance, a commission composed (please God, just for once) of more than just the same tired old usual suspects, to brainstorm coping strategies now, and to engage the public, rather than await the results of useless studies conducted by even more tired old usual consulting suspects, and try yet again to bluff our way through at the very last moment, lest we offend a Democratic Party grandee or dispute Bob Caesar’s self-interested conviction that toll bridges connected to one-way streets will bring an unprecedented number of diamond shoppers downtown.

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More urbanism, not less. More transparency, not less. More localism, not less. More public information and participation, not less. More thinking and doing outside the stunted, Democratic Party-smothered obstruction zone, not less.

Watch them read the preceding paragraph. See their body language. Realize how futile such efforts are doomed to be.

Quite frankly, I’d dearly love to say “fuck it” and disengage; cash out, punt, pack Uncle Jed’s jalopy and finally spend some quality time in places that are not perpetual fixer-uppers, but turnkey habitations: Like Bamberg -- not Birdseye on the Ohio.

But see, the thing is this: Reduced options have a remarkable way of narrowing one’s focus. At home or at work, we’ve bet the whole pile on this recalcitrant, woebegone, thick-headed old and dirty river town, and I was a stubborn bastard even before it became clear that it was a dubious wager I must have placed in a state of intoxication much more elevated than my normal level of degradation.

I may be tired, but I am not defeated.

I so wish there could be togetherness. There isn’t, so I will push. They will push back. Maybe, for once, we’ll get lucky. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Wouldn’t it be nice if just once, we could hack our way through the oblivious mire, push the plug into the wall socket, and see what happens when the clock actually runs?

After all, we haven't tried it before.

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Recent columns:

September 17: ON THE AVENUES: Dear Neighbor: If you’re tired of the same old story, turn some pages.

September 10: ON THE AVENUES: Lanesville Heritage Weekend comes around again.

September 3: ON THE AVENUES: When even Mitt Romney can run to the left of New Albany’s Democrats, it's a very big problem.

August 27: ON THE AVENUES: Whips, chains and economic development (2010).

August 20: ON THE AVENUES: In the groove.

August 13: ON THE AVENUES: It’s time to purge two-party politics and tie the community together.

August 10: ON THE AVENUES SPECIAL EDITION: When it comes to the RCI, can the RDA opt out of the RFRA?

Two down, a whole bunch more to go.

With the first post of 2014, the NAC blog odometer resets.

It's back to zero, with hundreds more to come. Of course, it's all a trick of the calendar, and while it may seem daunting, there's a certain continuity over a period of years -- to be exact, a decade come October 2014.

On the morning of January 1, the posts below were the most read during the second half of December. Moving forward, some of the themes will be familiar.

For example, for so long as elected officials in the county, primarily Mark Seabrook and Steve Bush, continue to thumb their noses at the rule of law, NABC will continue to wrestle with the Floyd County Health Department. But the Attorney General's advisory opinion is real, if as yet unpublished, and if Dr. Tom wishes to see it applied in court, to his detriment, it's my pleasure to further his overdue education.

In the city?

Rescuing the notion of "quality of life" from those who consider it a "no brainer" when applied to suburban-think, as opposed to urban living ... building a coalition to call City Hall's increasingly obvious bluff on the future of the outmoded street grid ... touting genuinely progressive antidotes to this city's profoundly regressive habit of suppressing creative thought ... working toward unity of purpose as it applies to downtown New Albany's business investors and indie entrepreneurs ... and every time one of them is seen displaying the uncomfortable body language of a student who didn't do his homework, pressing the point even more incessantly, more firmly, and more loudly.

It's 16 months until the next election, and many of the politicians and planners here in New Albany will be shifting to a prevent defense, hoping that whatever we're asking of them will go away so their brains will cease hurting. They simply don't want to do their homework; the cognitive dissonance is too much for these products of the local schools. The world outside frightens them. Old myths and discredited platitudes from the Eisenhower era imbue them with a warmer glow than even a chain restaurant's frosty margaritas can provide.

Our object here remains as it has been since 2004: Withhold their Tylenol.

Happy New Year.

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ON THE AVENUES: Mr. Gahan -- plug in this clock.

ON THE AVENUES: Mr. Gahan -- plug in this clock.

A special New Year's Eve column by Roger A. Baylor.

Perception.

Reality.

They’re how I’ll remember the year 2013, and so appropriately, two New Year’s Eve tweets tell the whole story, and nothing but the story.

From City of New Albany Government: It's New Year's Eve and the City of New Albany wishes everyone a happy and safe night. It was a great year here in New Albany and the future of 2014 looks bright for our city!

From Jeff Speck: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it." -- Upton Sinclair

(By the way, the city’s utterance today might be the last authored by ProMedia, which cannot be blamed for municipal government’s notoriously non-responsive social media effort. The Green Mouse is told that these communications are to be taken back in-house. Shall we speculate how this decision will impact exclamation mark futures?)

Meanwhile, aside from musical memories coming on Thursday in this space, there’ll be no year in review.

That’s because it was another in a series of mediocre, underachieving years, in which New Albany largely reaffirmed its half-century commitment to repeating the same reactive actions over and over, while hoping the outcome might be different this time.

The Bicentennial was utterly wasted with same-old-suspect buffoonery. There was no plan for economic development downtown, and there are no plans to have a plan. Selected property owners were fluffed, while others were relegated to the iron rule of the slumlord. We’ll have a wonderfully expensive parks system, and use our cars to drive back and forth between them on streets designed for high-speed, reckless driving, while ignoring success stories in other cities, where the city itself has become a recreational area simply by taking back its street grid. The Democratic Party substitutes words for action, and the Republican Party is so moribund and devoid of an intellectual pulse that it doesn’t even have its own Tea Party insurgency.

Even the tea partiers understand the meaning of wasted effort, and concentrate their attention elsewhere.

---

I’m always exhausted at year’s end. This year, as my business approached the end of what amounted to a five-year plan, it has taken much more effort than usual to plan for the next phase. Curiously, as both the city of New Albany and America’s craft beer segment have declared victory, there’s a nasty bubble waiting to pop, although willfully blinded eyes are averted.

Craft beer’s headed for an adjustment, borne of over-capacity among breweries dependent on production-level distribution. There will be casualties. In like fashion, downtown revitalization in New Albany faces the very real likelihood of a slowdown. We’ve gone as far as we can go with smoke and mirrors. Now more than ever, we need the city to put some skin into the game.

Louisville, Jeffersonville and even Clarksville have development plans and strategies to garner entrepreneurs and their dollars. In New Albany, we have enough eateries and bars, and we may well have too many. There needs to be a next phase; and yet current indie business operators are hard-placed to find the time to cooperate. Non-profits are inconsequential. There are no downtown housing initiatives. Ideas that can help right now – a street grid that supports, not defeats, the sort of indie ethos we’ve painstakingly built with our own money – are marginalized by city leaders bizarrely ignorant of urbanism and forever afraid of their own political shadows.

And the newspaper’s top stories of 2013?

Two murder trials, River Ridge, the Floyd County auditor’s incompetence, the city’s new unconnected parks department … and the Ohio River Bridges Project.

Shall I state the obvious?

The ORBP is the undisputed 800-lb gorilla casting a shadow over every single thing mentioned here. We might be doing something about it now; for instance, a commission composed (please God, just for once) of more than just the same tired old usual suspects, to brainstorm coping strategies now, and to engage the public, rather than await the results of useless studies conducted by even more tired old usual consulting suspects, and try yet again to bluff our way through at the very last moment, lest we offend a Democratic Party grandee or dispute Bob Caesar’s self-interested conviction that toll bridges connected to one-way streets will bring an unprecedented number of diamond shoppers downtown.

---

More urbanism, not less. More transparency, not less. More localism, not less. More public information and participation, not less. More thinking and doing outside the stunted, Democratic Party-smothered obstruction zone, not less.

Watch them read the preceding paragraph. See their body language. Realize how futile such efforts are doomed to be.

Quite frankly, I’d dearly love to say “fuck it” and disengage; cash out, punt, pack Uncle Jed’s jalopy and finally spend some quality time in places that are not perpetual fixer-uppers, but turnkey habitations: Like Bamberg -- not Birdseye on the Ohio.

But see, the thing is this: Reduced options have a remarkable way of narrowing one’s focus. At home or at work, we’ve bet the whole pile on this recalcitrant, woebegone, thick-headed old and dirty river town, and I was a stubborn bastard even before it became clear that it was a dubious wager I must have placed in a state of intoxication much more elevated than my normal level of degradation.

I may be tired, but I am not defeated.

I so wish there could be togetherness. There isn’t, so I will push. They will push back. Maybe, for once, we’ll get lucky. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Wouldn’t it be nice if just once, we could hack our way through the oblivious mire, push the plug into the wall socket, and see what happens when the clock actually runs?

After all, we haven't tried it before.

"Moving forward" in year-end interview, Mayor Jeff Gahan says absolutely nothing about two-way streets.

Nope. Zilch. Cerro. Not a word.

But there's this, as it pertains to the construction of a recreational complex at the old Hoosier Panel property:

“I feel really good about what that’s going to do to the property values in that area, and again it’s an improvement to the quality of life in New Albany,” Gahan said of the recreational center.

If you live on or near one of downtown New Albany's one-way arterial streets, which are not sufficiently important to be so much as mentioned in this interview, isn't about time you began using the Q(uality of Life) word and asking City Hall and various boards that dictate infrastructure:

But what about OUR quality of life and property values? 

It seems increasingly evident that they're not going to mention it to you, first. Why? Because is  question they wish not to here, much less reply to.

Read it and weep. Louisville's supposedly Possibility City. I believe this makes us Oblivious City.

STATE OF NEW ALBANY: Gahan reflects, looks ahead; Mayor reaches midway point of term, by Daniel Suddeath (News and Tribune)

MOVING FORWARD

The next two years will be busy in terms of projects and improvements to New Albany, Gahan said.

There’s a planned expansion of the downtown Farmers Market, the establishment of a dog park and a project slated for this summer to rebuild some of the city’s flood gates and controls for the first time in 60 years.

Gahan also hinted that the administration plans on working with the council to update zoning codes in 2014.

An estimated $1.8 million project to improve Main Street is also scheduled for this year. Gahan said the administration is also moving forward with design plans to upgrade McDonald Lane.

He credited city employees for being dedicated to their jobs, and thanked New Albany residents for giving him a chance to serve.

“New Albany is a really great place to live when you compare it to other communities,” Gahan said. “I think what really sets us apart is we have a strong mix of friendly people.”