Out of Nowhere.

I had a pandemic-inspired old fart moment today.

The Monarch (wholesale beer distributorship) order arrived on schedule and the driver Ray phoned me according to our usual arrangement. My bike's back from the shop, so I rode it down to unlock Pints&union.

About halfway there I thought "crap, I forgot my mask." Ah, I further reasoned, we have some official Pints&union masks at work; no problem.

Ray was waiting by the back door. I rushed in and ran past all the masks stored by the taps, apologized to Ray because I'd forgotten my mask, said I'd keep my distance, and received the order.

Only then, with no one else around, did I think to grab a Pints face mask from the stack. I put away the beer and came home, sat down, and noticed my mask was right there, hanging from my neck the entire time.

Ray thinks I'm senile.

I'm wondering, too.

Happy 60 years + one day (to me).

Ghost Town.

I played the "I have a joke" game on Twitter.

Kindly note that Speck, who once designed a street grid for New Albany, only to find most of it dropped into the garbage bin, "liked" my reply.

That's all I need to say about the topic, isn't it?

BEER WITH A SOCIALIST: Salty cascading crocodile tears as Pabst sings the contract brewing blues and sues MillerCoors. A pox on them all, I say.

I find these legal maneuverings hilarious on multiple levels. The reincarnated Pabst survives on price point alone, and price at this point is maintained by contract-brewing at a certain barrel level with a brewer who is a competitor.

Yawn. Can't they all just disappear?

Pabst says MillerCoors is trying to put it out of business (Associated Press)

Lawyers argue that the company’s very existence relies on partnership with Chicago-based MillerCoors

MILWAUKEE — Pabst Brewing Company and MillerCoors are going to trial, with hipster favorite Pabst contending that MillerCoors wants to put it out of business by ending a longstanding partnership through which it brews Pabst’s beers.

The case has high stakes for Pabst, whose lawyers argue that the company’s very existence relies on the partnership with Chicago-based MillerCoors, which produces, packages and ships nearly all its products, which include Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Milwaukee, Natty Boh and Lone Star. MillerCoors, meanwhile, says it’s not obligated to continue brewing for Pabst and that Pabst doesn’t want to pay enough to justify doing so.

The trial in Milwaukee County Circuit Court begins Monday and is scheduled through Nov. 30.

Pabst’s attorneys have said in court documents and hearings that MillerCoors LLC is lying about its brewing capacity to break away from Pabst and capture its share of the cheap beer market by disrupting Pabst’s ability to compete. At a March hearing in which MillerCoors tried to have the lawsuit dismissed, Pabst attorney Adam Paris said “stunning documents” obtained from MillerCoors show that it went as far as hiring a consultant to “figure out ways to get rid of us.” MillerCoors has called that a mischaracterization of the consultant’s work.

The 1999 agreement between MillerCoors and Pabst, which was founded in Milwaukee in 1844 but is now headquartered in Los Angeles, expires in 2020 but provides for two possible five-year extensions. The companies dispute how the extensions should be negotiated: MillerCoors argues that it has sole discretion to determine whether it can continue brewing for Pabst, whereas Pabst says the companies must work “in good faith” to find a solution if Pabst wants to extend the agreement but MillerCoors lacks the capacity.

Pabst needs 4 million to 4.5 million barrels brewed annually and claims MillerCoors is its only option. It is seeking more than $400 million in damages and for MillerCoors to be ordered to honor its contract.

During 2015 negotiations about extending the contract, MillerCoors announced it would close its brewing facility in Eden, N.C., and that it eventually might have to shutter another facility in Irwindale, Calif. Pabst contends that MillerCoors refused to provide any information to substantiate its claim that it would no longer have the capacity to continue brewing Pabst’s beers, and that it wouldn’t consider leasing the Eden facility and would only sell it for an “astronomical” price.

Pabst says MillerCoors wouldn’t agree to an extension unless Pabst paid $45 per barrel — “a commercially devastating, near-triple price increase” from what it pays now. At the March hearing, Paris said MillerCoors knew Pabst couldn’t accept that proposal “because it would have bankrupted us three times over.”

In court filings, MillersCoors said Pabst’s proposals to keep the Eden facility open “were commercially unreasonable” and that Pabst sought “a windfall through litigation” instead of offering to pay enough to keep a facility open. It also said the facility’s closing was “to ensure the longer-term sustainability” of MillerCoors because thousands of new brewers have entered the market over the past decade.

MillerCoors and Anheuser-Busch, which have the biggest U.S. market share at 24.8 percent and 41.6 percent, respectively, have been losing business to smaller independent brewers, imports and wine and spirits in recent years, according to the Brewers Association.

Overall U.S. beer sales have declined, with shipments down from 213.1 million barrels in 2008 to 204.2 million in 2017, according to the Brewers Association.

Pabst depends on MillerCoors because the only other U.S. brewer with capacity to make its products is Anheuser-Busch, which doesn’t do contract brewing, Paris said.

“It really is an existential issue for Pabst because it has no real alternatives,” Paris said at the March hearing.

Paris said the report from the consultant MillerCoors hired in 2013 proves the company never intended to act in good faith. Pabst’s attorneys say the report had sections focused on how to “eliminate Pabst altogether” and noted that MillerCoors would need to close two breweries “to be sure they don’t have excess capacity for contract manufacturing.”

MillerCoors’ attorney, Eric Van Vugt, said in court that the company didn’t rely on the consultant’s report when it decided to close Eden or when it has contemplated closing the Irwindale brewery.

“If we keep Irwindale open, yes, we can supply their beer,” Van Vugt said. “No one disputes that. That’s the only factor that we need to look at.”

On this blogging day in 2007: Luddite testimonials and DNA's mayoral forum.

There were two posts on October 23, 2007. The first refers to the infamous and now entirely forgotten era of the Trog Blog Wars.

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Okay, so I changed my mind ...sue me already.

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The second posits the inconceivable (DNA being neutral about politics prior to its annexation by Deaf Gahan) grafted onto the "look how far we've ... er ... never mind." Stay tuned for 2019, when Deaf will dodge many of these same questions.

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Reminder: "Develop New Albany to Host Mayoral Candidates Forum" on Wednesday night.

(From Develop New Albany)

Develop New Albany, the City’s non-profit, Main Street organization is hosting a Mayoral Candidates Forum to be held on Wednesday, October 24th from 7:00 - 9:00 pm at the Strassweg Auditorium at the New Albany-Floyd County Public Library.

The forum will consist of two 45-minute question-and-answer sessions with a 10-15-minute break in between. Mr. Randy Hubbard, Republican mayoral candidate, has agreed to participate in the first session and Mr. England, Democratic mayoral candidate, has agreed to participate in the second session which is anticipated to begin at 8:15 p.m. Neither candidate is invited to attend the session in which the opposing candidate is featured.

The sessions will be moderated by Greg Sekula, Develop New Albany Vice-President, and a series of questions will be asked by the moderator that relate to the issues of downtown and neighborhood revitalization. The public is invited and encouraged to attend.

The following topical issues are likely to be covered in the forum in no particular order:

1) Your vision for Downtown New Albany;

2) Strategies for furthering economic development in Downtown New Albany and surrounding older business districts such as the Vincennes and State Street corridors;

3) Addressing problems associated with rental housing conditions including absentee property ownership, illegally subdivided structures, and your position on a City-initiated rental housing inspection program;

4) Strategies for promoting and increasing homeownership and re-investment in older urban neighborhoods;

5) Relationships between the City and local neighborhood associations and non-profit groups;

6) Historic preservation, including the role of the Historic Preservation Commission, historic district designation, and design guidelines;

7) One-way vs. two-way street circulation patterns in the Downtown;

8) Enforcement of violations of City ordinances;

9) Aging infrastructure;

10) Upkeep of downtown streets and public spaces;

11) Ohio River Greenway project;

12) City-County Building space issues;

13) Relationship between the office of Mayor and City Council;

14) The role of public transportation in downtown revitalization and regional economic development;

15) Strategies for the City and school system to work together to strengthen inner-city schools and what impact that would have on downtown neighborhoods; and

16) Strategies for combating neighborhood crime, particularly drug activity.

For more information contact Develop New Albany at 812/941-0018 or e-mail here.

Zombie spa? 202 Pearl Street LLC needs to speak with Google, lest there be any misunderstandings.

Um, we thought that whole "spa" thing was in the past. Anyway, Phil's back in fashion, so here's Genesis with a big hit from 1980 ...

Of astroglide and gavels, circa '77.

This will make more sense if you read the thread comments here.

Okay, so I changed my mind ...sue me already.

Barbecued bologna is healthier, spluttered the Wizard of Westside.

A poster at the Louisville Hot Bytes restaurant forum passed this along:

My best bud and I played music and sang a wedding in New Albany. Upon leaving, I told her I was dying to try this restaurant. Nobody at the Methodist church had ever heard of it. The church secretary brought out 2 yellow pages books and could not find the address! Finally, we drove to a convenient store on State Street where I asked everyone there about it. Finally, one lady said she thought she had seen the sign, blah blah so we followed Market St until....voila!! At this point, I think even my best friend thought I was crazy!

Oh my goodness....the food was just amazing! I had the veggie enchiladas with green sauce. My friend had a shrimp quesadilla. You sure can tell the difference in homemade, everything from scratch ingredients. Our server was a friendly young lady who did a superb job. Water was always refilled, questions answered, etc. We were both SO impressed with the food, atmosphere and service! I will be back VERY soon. I just want to know why all the "New Albanians" have never heard of this place!!! VERY strange.

Certainly no one denies that New Albanians are, well, a bit behind the times, and occasionally even misinformed. How else do we account for the Gang of Four?

As we await the advent of a barbecued bologna quesadilla, here's an impromptu Top Ten list of why New Albanians don't know La Rosita's exists:

10. Many New Albanians have yet to concede that there is a Hispanic presence in the community.

9. Many of those who have noticed Hispanics are intimidated by them and persist in patronizing Taco Bell, since it’s advertised on television and as a result clearly must be the best choice.

8. Chef Israel got tired of hearing New Albanians ask for “enchilada style,” so now he refers all of them to whatever is left of Tumbleweed … and they actually go.

7. The people who work in mini-marts all commute from outlying areas, flee after dark, and consequently know even less than the natives about New Albany’s life and times.

6. New Albanians have been so busy removing the mufflers from their motorcycles that they didn’t notice all the cars lined up outside 1515 East Market Street.

5. Who needs authentic Mexican food when the chicken and dumplings at Harvest Homecoming are so good AND so cheap?

4. Cultural diversity is outlawed by city council ordinance, although residents are still required to maintain a parlor spittoon and keep a spare horseshoe in their buggies.

3. La Rosita’s has beer but not liquor, hence no dollar margarita night during the NASCAR race, as at Los Indios.

2. What? No burgers? How do you expect my wholesome, angelic child to eat in a place without burgers? Whaddya think this is, Tijuana? Big Buford, here we come.

1. The Yellow Pages remain useless if you were never taught to alphabetize, and besides, there are various religious injunctions against coveting your neighbor’s cilantro.

The Jeeebus link.

Many thanks to loyal reader Scott, who passes along this hilarious link at just the right time.

Jeeebus - that's with three E's

The statue itself is located between Cincinnati and Dayton, Ohio.

I haven't laughed this hard in a long, long while.

“Dork and Mindy” advocate openness – behind their bleeding skull voodoo masks, of course.

Professor Erika’s latest blogomanic screed is a particularly intemperate boilerplate directed against the mayor of New Albany, the city’s street department head, and its police and fire chiefs – all of whom the masquerading academic identifies by name prior to hiking a grizzled leg for indiscriminate spraying.

Nothing about this dysfunctional behavior is unusual, except that in this case, she hilariously invokes the memory of Honest Abe at Gettysburg to preface a mighty thunderclap of rhetorical flatulence on behalf of the nobility of “transparency.”

What's good for the goose ...

Actually, few people who actually manage to be elected to a public office are capable of hypocrisy on this massive a scale, but don’t take my word for it.

Consider that he (“Erik”) actually is she (Ms. Denhart), and that she pretends to be a college professor. Remember that her character assassination always is conducted anonymously, and that she is abetted in her covert activities by a “citizens advocate” (Ms. Bolovschak) who continues to disingenuously deny involvement in the juvenile shenanigans.

And yet, she – make that “they” – rage and blow about the importance of “transparency.”

Did I say hypocrisy? Add a heaping bilespoon of cowardice, and voila! It’s “freedom” of speech, embittered troglodyte-style.

Serve with obvious buffoonery and toadstool sandwiches for best results.