For the record: The return of The NewAlbanist, with good advice about hours of operation.

The Bookseller is back with an idea about independent small businesses staying open for business. In short, how can a city be a tourist destination if its "destination businesses" greet visitors with locked doors?

Good Golly: Mouth Shut Almost a Year

For almost a full year, gentle reader, you’ve heard nothing from me here. Anything I had to say, Ann alone had to hear it. Poor woman.

Let’s see. I tossed my hat into the ring for election to a vacant school board seat and lost – badly. I sought to return to my career in journalism and was all but ignored by what passes as our “local” paper. And then, glutton that I am, I offered myself for yet another school board seat that came open – and was roughly treated.

In business, I’ve been the living embodiment of the aphorism that pioneers get slaughtered while settlers prosper. I’ve been at it long enough and seen enough peers disappear that I qualify for the former category. But the scars I’ve earned entitle me to advise the latter.

Farmers Market Polls, reality-based version. No comic books or BS.

The Bookseller offers farmers market poll questions for thinking adults, ones that reflect genuine options, and not the potted on-line malarkey offered up by Develop New Albany's intellectually dishonest grifters. Imagine that.

Farmers’ Market Polls: Winter 2014

New Albany’s Common Council is discussing a request to make a sizable investment to build additional structures there, locking in that site’s use as a permanent farmers’ market. What do you think?

After casting your ballots in the reality-based polls linked above, consider going to the DNA polling page and disrupting the organization's bush league tactics by voting for the parking garage.

Speck in New Albany, Part Two: The NewAlbanist and John Gonder weigh in.

The Bookseller takes us back to January 16, when Jeff Speck appeared at the library and dealt a crippling blow to our previously unquestioned assumptions about New Albany's maladjusted-by-design street grid (and a video was made of it).

… Perhaps, the End of the Beginning, at The NewAlbanist

... On that cold and snowy midwinter Thursday, armed with visuals specific to our city, Speck surgically excised years of accretions and cancers that have prevented a comprehensive review of our harmful one-way street grid. As he wielded his knife, a number of us were astonished to see those most (ir)responsible for the current condition of our street grid sit calmly as their most cherished shibboleths were demolished.

That is, the mayor, some council members, and the full administration sat there placidly while being told that everything they had held dear was wrong. That their timidity was holding our city back and actively damaging the small businesses that make downtown their home.

Fortunately for us, making New Albany a walkable city won’t cost us much of anything, financially. If the city will take Speck’s advice, we may, perhaps, be able to say that this is the end of the beginning.

Much more than economic development is at stake. Public safety and the quiet enjoyment of our properties, residential and commercial, stand to benefit greatly.

Meanwhile, councilman John Gonder, a fervent and perennial advocate for the sensible, expresses support for yesterday's turn of events, but also looks in the general direction of the 800-lb gorilla.

Pitch Till You Win, at Gonder for New Albany At-Large

 ... I am most heartily on board with this turn of events, since at least we know where this study is likely to lead us. Which of course begs another question, but who's asking? And, why stand in the way of something positive?

Perhaps John was anticipating a comment like this one, as mentioned in Part One of today's ruminations:

Duggins said the city would not implement any recommendations that would reduce traffic capacity.

I feel sick already. You can bet the farm that when David said this to Grace, John Rosenbarger's mouth wasn't moving.

Part One, today
Part Three, today

"Submissions Open for 2014 New Albany Word of the Year."

Over at The NewAlbanist, we receive notice of impending fun with words.

Submissions Open for 2014 New Albany Word of the Year

It’s a defining moment for New Albany and Southern Indiana. For the first of what we hope will be many years, Destinations Booksellers, in partnership with a local non-profit that will remain unnamed for the moment, will hold a competition to determine the 2014 New Albany Word of the Year ...

It's all about defining the city, much as Fauxcentennial, "quality of life" and no-brainer did throughout 2013.

... New Albany’s 2014 Word of the Year contest is designed to find that quintessential word that defines the city this year. The judges will honor esoteric entries, but keep in mind that the finals will be voted on by the public, so obscure and unfamiliar words might not quite measure up. Nonetheless, don’t limit yourself. We invite you to submit your word(s) alone or with an explanation of why the word applies so surely to New Albany.

The possibilities are endless, but my first nomination (of many) is agoraphobia. Send your ideas to the Bookseller.

The NewAlbanist on tactics of self-selection and self-rejection.

Fresh off his star turn as "Soapy Sam" Ballard in "Rumpole and the Big Henry Bain Sauce and Egg Man" ... just kidding.

It's been wonderful to experience the bookseller's erudition of late. I keep company with the finest expository writers in town (Randy and Jeff), and reading them enriches me. I'd say it makes me a better writer, except only sobriety can do that -- and what a price.

The bookseller defines his term:

Today’s word from Ben Schott’s Schottenfreude: German Words for the Human Condition

Bösewichtsduckmäusrigkeit – Cowardice in the face of malevolence.

Pronounced [boo-ze-vicchts --dook-moyz-rihg-kite]

Then he moves to The NewAlbanist for the details.

Bösewichtsduckmäusrigkeit It Ain’t
Bösewichtsduckmäusrigkeit It Ain’t, Part 2

We had a few discussions over the weekend with regard to an earlier post, one in which I lamented the seeming withdrawal of one and the patent abdication of many others when it comes to seeking elective office.

I am reminded that such decision do not take place in a vacuum. The vapidity of New Albany government is the product of both self-selection and self-rejection.

There are two primary tactics practiced by incumbents.

As an oblique comment on the general theme of civic engagement, there's an anecdote I enjoy repeating which goes something like this.

I'll be discussing New Albanian social conditions and trends, conceding that (of course) the best and brightest always leave town to seek opportunities elsewhere, and usually someone will squint and reply, "I see you're still here."

Yes, so true -- but why further encourage the brain drain by being elected?

The NewAlbanist: "Excessive Speed: A Quality of Life Issue".

The bookseller has released the results of his speeding citation study.

Excessive Speed: A Quality of Life Issue

... One council member told a constituent that we don’t want a situation where our reputation is “Welcome to New Albany. Now here’s a ticket.” But based on the report we’re sharing tonight, one could say our reputation is more in line with “Welcome to New Albany. Don’t worry about getting caught breaking the law.”

Here's your takeaway: "NAPD issued only 1 speeding ticket for every 155 patrol hours."

Following is a collection of links to the NewAlbanist's recent essays on the topic.

Pulse-quickening council preview as we await the NewAlbanist's speeding citation report.

The NewAlbanist: The dialectic, the shibboleths, their quality of life and our conundrum.

The NewAlbanist is jacked up on speed.

Essay: "Two-Way Streets: Best Practices" at The NewAlbanist.

Pulse-quickening council preview as we await the NewAlbanist's speeding citation report.

Tonight there'll be a renewal of New Albany's twice monthly futility rite, otherwise known as a city council meeting, and against my better judgment, I'll be in attendance.

Live tweeting will begin as soon as Bob Caesar utters something incomprehensible, self-serving or utterly foolish, which is to say whenever he enters the room, right before the meeting begins.

The council agenda tonight is as barren as Bud Light's olfactory allure, except for a symbolic resolution from John Gonder scolding the governor of Indiana for being a reactionary swine (my words, not Gonder's) with respect to Affordable Health (Obama)Care.

R-13-15 Resolution in Support of Efforts to Increase Participation in the New Healthcare Law

Meanwhile, most of the rest of us look forward to the release of the bookseller's speeding analysis, which is due to hit the mean streets around 8:00 p.m.

Coming Tonight: Report on Speeding in New Albany

I expect to complete my last round of edits on my analysis of New Albany’s speeding citations. As you’ll recall, NAPD Chief Sherry Knight provided me with a list of all citations for excessive speed during a 12-month period ending September 30, 2013. I’d like to thank the chief for her prompt response to my request.

And wordsmiths appreciate Randy's other post at his NewAlbanist blog today.

The Rot That Corrupts New Albany

Corruption, classically, refers to impurity or deviation from the ideal ...

... Corruption has another sense that can be applied to New Albany without resorting to accusations of criminality. Negligence, incompetence, and apathy can corrupt the workings of government just as effectively as brazen self-dealing.

The NewAlbanist: The dialectic, the shibboleths, their quality of life and our conundrum.

Below are two more must-reads from the bookseller, as released at his NewAlbanist blog.

On Monday evening, the NewAlbanist will publish a report on New Albany’s speeding scandal, as gleaned from a full list of speeding tickets written by the New Albany Police Department between October 1, 2012 and September 30, 2013, as requested of and promptly provided by (are you reading, Tom Harris?) Chief Knight.

Trust me: You are going to be amazed by the numbers. Investigative journalism surely does exist in this town. You merely must know where to look for it.

On the Dialectic and our Conundrum: Speeding in New Albany: A Marxist Conundrum

We must assume, by default, that the NAPD (or its masters) cannot discern any need to enforce the ordinances promulgated to regulate motor vehicle speeds on New Albany’s streets.

How else can we reconcile what our (lying) eyes tell us each day.

And ...

On the Shibbeloths and their Quality of Life: Pay No Attention To That Man Behind the Curtain

What is New Albany’s shibboleth?

Say it with me: QUALITY OF LIFE.

The NewAlbanist is jacked up on speed.

And appropriately so.

In the ongoing design vs. enforcement scrum, I've always assumed that someone in the city's upper administrative echelons is able to formulate the arguments in the design vs. enforcement scrum. If the best possible world would be street design serving as an impediment to speeding and recklessness (and making enforcement less of an issue), the worst outcome would be a street designed to encourage speeding and recklessness -- and no enforcement at all.

Admittedly, it might get even worse than the latter, as in Ypsilanti, Michigan, where state highway officials not only did nothing about one-way streets, but actually proposed raising the speed limit.

Seems to me that better design leads to better ways for the police to use their time.

Don't forget the $60,000 hike, coming November 10 to a dangerous arterial near you.

Here are two recent NewAlbanist posts, with survey results soon.

Casablanca on the Ohio

 ... In an earlier post I asked you to guess “How Many Speeding Tickets Were Written by the NAPD Between 10/1/2012 and 9/30/2013.” Before seeing this report, my over/under would have been 100, a number that would have been truly a scandal if it had been accurate. Little did I know that I have been an eyewitness to almost one-third of all tickets written in New Albany. But more on that later.

And:

Do You Feel the Need for Speed?

If the number of speeding citations issued by the New Albany Police Department is any measure, we have some of the safest streets in the world.

Last week I told you about a meeting of New Albany’s Board of Public Works and Safety at which Maj. Keith Whitlow said, in essence, that there is no speeding problem on Elm Street. In “response” to a request by Grace Transue, a resident on that street, the Major ordered one of his officers to conduct a (very) brief survey of traffic speeds on Elm.

Essay: "Two-Way Streets: Best Practices" at The NewAlbanist.

The bookseller summarizes the situation wonderfully. This might serve as the one-page printout that we'll be needing for those disinclined to use modern media. My takeaway from this essay:

"It makes no sense to wait one more day. Likewise, there’s no need for another study. A one-day walking tour – maybe just one afternoon – will identify the problems that need to be addressed."

Two-Way Streets: Best Practices, by Randy Smith at The NewAlbanist

Almost from the moment I arrived in New Albany I’ve advocated for a rational reversion of downtown streets to two-way traffic patterns.

To me, it was obviously the right thing to do. By words, if not action, Mayors Garner and England agreed with me and with the hundreds of New Albany residents and visitors I’ve talked to about this topic.

Now, the mere fact that it was obvious to me, multiplied by 2 sitting mayors acknowledging the rightness of the idea, can’t, unfortunately, be enough to move the ball.

That’s why I and many of my policy-minded neighbors have gathered and published studies showing that, by an overwhelming margin, smart cities are reverting back to traditional 2-way traffic patterns ...read more

Aquatics bucks: This whole cost-benefit thing, and simple arithmetic?

The meat of Randy's post is a reconsideration of the numbers being floated as worthy of a banker's support for the aquatics center bond, which received its first positive council vote last Thursday.

Crippling Bond Issue Based on False Premises, by Randy Smith (The NewAlbanist)

 ... According to the newspaper of record, the Gahan administration is proceeding with plans for a $9 million aquatic center to be located at the failed site of the Camille Wright swimming pool off W. Daisy Lane.

Their professional design consultant, The Estopinal Group (and who else would you expect them to use?) says that a new outdoor facility can be expected to have 66,000 visits each year and to generate $932.000 in revenues. TEG asserts that the operating costs of the pool will not exceed $700,000 annually. Simple arithmetic yields a net revenue stream of $232,000 each year.

Oh, but that it were true.

The 6-3 vote in favor of moving forward is history. While retaining my overall doubts, I'll say that if we really must insist on defining our civic commitment to youth in terms of sports instead of brains, the greening of the squalid Hoosier Panel property makes better sense on multiple levels than the square-peg, round-hole aquatics center scenario; apart from serving as a bricks and mortar manifestation of mail order appendage enhancements in the context of the ongoing parks libido war between city and county, I fail to see the usefulness of the aquatics center.

Then again, I don't swim. The water gets in your beer, and it's plain nasty.

The most surprising aspect of last Thursday's pro-bond vote was the seeming exhaustion of the usual "no new spending" bloc. I've never seen such resignation going into a scrum; perhaps advanced age finally is taking its toll on the stalwarts. Like always, Erika Denhart rallied her troops -- and perhaps three attended. Her speech was Charlie Pride-laden boilerplate, and the vows of unceasing combat uncharacteristically hollow.

A handful of Republicans were collected, including Irv Stumler, who allowed himself to be taken down fairly easy by Dan "I'll have more of that drunken sailor expenditure, please" Coffey. Even the leather-jacketed former councilman, Steve Price, was unable to muster much of his patented oppositionist enthusiasm. Maybe they're preparing an ambush.

Until then, it would be nice to think that council persons like Scott Blair might contemplate whether the numbers really add up.

Fathoming the Naygain Plan.

We're obliged by statute to offer at least one sewer-related discussion each day of the week. Failure to do so may result in house arrest, to be served on the couch of a Steve Price rental property.

No way, so here are two of the latest from the NewAlbanist blog:

So (angry) I can’t say much more

Four of New Albany’s city council members owe this city at least $6,000 a year for their dilatory tactics. These four (Gahan, Coffey, Price, McLaughlin) caused the city to incur 17 additional basis points on what should have been a “free” loan from Obama-instituted stimulus funds to bring New Albany (finally) into compliance with the Clean Water Act.

And: Living in a Reality-based (Under)World: "Show us this plan, Mr. Gahan. Call it your own, Mr. McLaughlin. Tell me where I’m just not getting it."

See also: Gahan opposed to NA rate increase due to added sewer debt, by Daniel Suddeath (Tribune).

At The NewAlbanist.

There's a new blog portal: The NewAlbanist. The most recent posting is What’s really going on, and here's an excerpt. For the complete text, hit the links.

---

First off, I’m as befuddled as the next gal at the New Albany City Council’s decision to make now the time to address workplace smoking hazards. Not that now isn’t the right time (it is). But where in the world did council president Jeff Gahan get the idea that this was the most necessary legislation for the council to take up?

On this holiday weekend, an amateur drama is being rehearsed. The curtain will rise for the public and the mainstream media on Tuesday morning at 10 a.m. But those who’ve seen the previews have informed my understanding of the game that is afoot.

Mayor England has painted himself into a corner with his pledge that Sept. 2, 2008 will not become a memorable day in New Albany’s almost 200-year history. He has promised far too many people that he intends to veto the workplace smoking ban, passed 11 days ago by a 5-4 city council vote. It is beyond credible to think that England will agree to the comprehensive ordinance.

I believe the mayor is trying to leverage this issue in exchange for support for some of his initiatives. Some of those are initiatives that I favor. Some are ones I’m suspicious of. And to pretend that politics is not “political” is naive.