Let's hear it for urban forestry.

That's half a human tall. Is it time to mow the sidewalk yet?

Gahan's boom that crashed: "Quite the tab (for taxpayers) for making vulnerable people's lives harder."

Looks flaccid to us. Time for an Rx?

Damn. I missed the self-congratulatory post-homeless camp demolition pep rally. Wish I could have been there for the popping of corks.

NAC reader DS posted the photograph above in response to social media speculation about the street department's casualties in yesterday's assault on the homeless encampment by Silver Creek.

"The boom didn’t malfunction, it crashed. It will need serious repairs. Another financial hit."

Frequent reader KC replied:

"Wow. That's going to be quite the tab for making vulnerable people's lives harder."

UPDATE: It turns out that Wednesday is a national holiday with deep significance as it pertains to the mayor's customary attitude toward the less fortunate. Perhaps this explains yesterday's hurried conclusion.

Previous link(s):

Exit 0's Paul Stensrud pulls zero punches v.v. Gahan's violence against the homeless: "In order for things to change there needs to be a change of hands within local government."

Big thanks to the New Albany Street Department for cleaning the P&u alley.

To repeat: Hearty thanks to the New Albany Street Department for giving the P&u alley a good cleaning.

Regular readers will recall that we had an unsightly dumping issue in this alley just before the Thanksgiving holiday.

Dumping in alleys is another reason why we can't have nice things.

The garbage, furniture and all-purpose mess that had been piled up against Stephen Beardsley's properties on the east side of the alley stayed right there, moldering, until the high-traffic holiday weekend was over, a period that included the Saturday of Jingle Walk.

The timing couldn't have been worse. Only after the Thanksgiving weekend had concluded, very early on the following Monday morning, did much (though not all) of the trash get hauled away. We're not sure who to thank for this.

However, before it was collected, I put on a pair of work gloves and sifted through the debris, sleuthing. It will suffice to say that the origins of the nastiness were obvious.

That's all I'll say -- for now.

Gradually the falling leaves and waste materials started piling up again. Joe called the Street Department, and workers policed the area today before lunch. It looks great, and kudos to the crew. We really appreciate their efforts.

As noted earlier in the week, changes are being made in the vicinity.

The Root coworking space begins as a previously neglected half-block emerges.

Things are different now, and I'm hoping that past behaviors are subject to modification. We're doing what we can to keep the alley tidy, and we have our own dedicated dumpster.

That's a hint.

Non-learning curve: This ON THE AVENUES column repeat reveals that since 2011, we've been discussing the safety hazards on Spring Street between 10th and 9th. Too bad City Hall is deaf.

Elsewhere today: If you want to know how Deaf Gahan purposefully botched the Speck plan for walkable streets, read this article. Hint: HWC dunnit.

I'm rethinking my weekly ON THE AVENUES column placement. It isn't going away, but it may be moving to a different time slot, and as I contemplate the options, hopefully you'll forgive a rerun or two.

This column from February 12, 2015 is a doubleheader of topicality. It addresses the ongoing foolishness of street sweeping, but more importantly, establishes a chronology with regard to the Spring Street safety hazard otherwise known as Williams Plumbing, located in a building at 901 E. Spring that seems always to teeter on the edge of an eyesore -- and has fallen off the edge on more than one occasion, as in 2016.

This outrage against innovative public art must be avenged -- or, what happened to the Williams Junk Water Heater Park?

Let's begin a block up the street. The spot where Spring Street curves at the intersection of 10th always has been a red flag, whether one-way or two-way. Drivers approaching westbound, completely unimpeded from the stop light (and railroad crossing) at 15th Street, have five full blocks to build up speed, and invariably navigate the curve too fast.

The problem isn't quite as bad eastbound, probably because the intersections at 7th Street (stop light) and 8th Street (major northbound connector) have a slowing effect.

Last year's two-way reversion, and the embarrassing placement of a completely useless pedestrian "beg button" crosswalk (a tiny, sad yellow light -- thanks, HWC Engineering) at precisely the point when westbound traffic reaches top speed, has done nothing to decrease westbound speeds around the curve.

Drivers simply drift to the right in order to make the curve, which means they're regularly straying into the (rumored) bicycle lane and unoccupied parking spaces. At times, they come very close to the sidewalk itself.

I see it often while walking -- something city officials should consider trying some time, if they can extricate themselves from Nanny Barksdale's "inhumane" working conditions.

Then, having driven too fast around a dangerous curve, drivers speedily approach 9th Street, where the tall Williams Plumbing trucks have been parked along the north side of the street for as long as anyone can remember, and often on the east side of 9th.

In the evening and on weekends, these trucks completely obscure the viewpoint of all users, whether traveling westbound on Spring or southbound on 9th.

By the way, municipal ordinance forbids parking commercial vehicles being parked curbside in this manner -- and as long as anyone can remember, this ordinance has not been enforced. 

To summarize, it's been seven years since this blog first mentioned the issue, and the problem was ongoing for quite some time even then.

It's very simple, folks. These conditions almost certainly played a part in skateboarder Matt Brewer's death, and irrespective of the role they played, these conditions are dangerous, not only to non-automotive users, but for drivers, too.

The intersection of Spring and 10th needs to be controlled, and those trucks from Williams Plumbing need to be removed.

If HWC Engineering's crack team of Speck Plan assassins couldn't grasp these plain facts in 2017, a refund is due the city. My neighborhood is sick and tired of the bullshit, wherein leaders and their chosen contractors duck responsibility.

If Team Gahan's sickening arrogance precludes admitting they made a mistake in allowing these obvious instances of negligence to continue unabated, then the clique needs to be cashiered in 2019.

Here's the column repeat from February, 2015. Note that in 2016, I began protesting the street sweeper violations ... and Team Gahan folded like the poseurs they are.

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ON THE AVENUES: Street “sweeping” epitomizes the degradation of governance in New Albany.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

It’s an election year, and so the current occupant must hurriedly make up for three years of squandered time as it pertains to his unwillingness (read: sheer inability) to define various meaningless but oft-chanted mantras. Consequently, the street department chief has been ceremoniously trotted out to announce an expansion of the city’s street “sweeping” program.

Unfortunately, words have meaning, and ideas matter, and in New Albany, street “sweeping” has not ever been a cleanliness issue.

Rather, it is a political hypocrisy issue, fully exposing this city’s historic tendency not only to tolerate selective law enforcement, but to double down, institutionalize and celebrate it as a civic birthright.

Bluegill perfectly summarizes the prevailing idiocy:

A wasteful program is getting more wasteful. As a Midtown resident. I wish they'd stop rather than expand. This is a parking ticket revenue grab, hounding locals for cash while truckers and other passers through speed by unhindered. We're continually told the city can't afford this or that but we can always afford to pay people to ride around in circles all day writing ridiculously expensive tickets to residents. They even write them when the sweeper isn't sweeping, when people have blocked absolutely nothing. It's a joke.

To repeat: Street “sweeping” should not be expanded. It should be ended. The physical process of “sweeping” is largely futile, and there is no United Nations storm water “law” stipulating dust cloud creation as a workable corrective. Genuine drainage impediments like leaves and garbage barely are addressed by “sweeping.”

Bluegill again:

We'd be better off spending the time and money on drain cleaning and waterway improvements. Instead, the City has chosen the least effective (but most profitable) system to expand.

However, when it comes to profitability and effectiveness, the most profound outrage of all is that parking regulations supposedly applying to all city residents are enforced in some instances, as during street “sweeping,” and not in others, as in the entirety of the historic downtown business district.

Amazingly, it gets worse. Since the inception of institutionalized parking enforcement hypocrisy during the waning years of the third England Error, there has not been the first clear indication of where this imaginary Green Line between enforced and non-enforced parking is drawn.

Following is a column originally published here on May 19, 2011, and repeated in 2013. That's almost four years of ongoing failure. How much longer before we undertake to resolve the parking issues downtown?

---

The sweeping of municipal dysfunction is prohibited. That's the ordinance we actually enforce.

Yesterday was Wednesday, and Wednesday is street sweeping day on our side of the block.

A police operative customarily follows the street sweeper, because cars are not supposed to be parked on the street, where they obstruct the sweeper’s solemn duty to transfer rubbish from the curb into the center of the bicycle lane.

Recently, with the stated intent of promoting businesses (like my own) and sparing shoppers, diners and shop employees the hassle of thinking about where they park, City Hall publicly announced a moratorium on the enforcement of parking regulations “downtown.”

To my knowledge, downtown as a geographical construct was never specifically defined in this enforcement suspension context. My household is in Midtown, while Vincennes Street, only a few blocks away, now calls itself Uptown.

However, Develop New Albany only recently indicated that in the organization’s eyes, a stated organizational mandate to deal exclusively with downtown issues does not preclude it from expanding operations outward, into areas previously not regarded as such, implying that suddenly, we’re all downtowners.

Meanwhile, our residence in Midtown shares a driveway with a dental office. There used to be a day care business next door, and a doctor’s office further down. Big Value is on one corner of the block, opposite an ad agency office. On another corner, there is a funeral home, facing a fire and water damage repair shop.

That’s a fair number of businesses for a residential block -- and I’m not even counting meth labs.

---

Yesterday, although I knew the street sweeper was coming, I left my car parked on the street. I wanted to see what would happen.

Leaving the usual pathway of uncollected dirt in its wake, the sweeper swerved to avoid my car, and the police functionary promptly ticketed me. Moments later, I climbed into the car and drove to my meeting, westbound on Spring Street, where I caught up to the sweeper and the tailing police officer.

Other parked cars were obstructing the sweeper’s progress, but they were not ticketed, presumably because an invisible line of demarcation had been passed, and the weekly shifting of muck and butts from curb to street was occurring within the “downtown” area, where the moratorium of non-enforcement was in effect to promote businesses ... that's right, businesses just like the ones on my block, where the rules against sweeper obstruction are being enforced, or at the very least, where tickets are being written, whether not there is any intent to collect the fines.

I got the ticket, and I’ll pay the fine.

The question: Why should I?

When there is a stated policy of non-enforcement within areas that are only vaguely defined, what is the rationale for enforcement elsewhere?

Anywhere?

If the rationale for non-enforcement downtown (whatever that really means) is the proximity of businesses, shouldn’t that rationale apply throughout the city?

If downtowners who have serially refused to pay their parking fines for decades announce their evasive intentions on local television, and are not prosecuted immediately, why should I feel any obligation whatsoever to drop my twenty-spot in the slot?

Yet, I do. It’s something in my upbringing. Granted, that’s twenty fewer clams to be deposited with local businesses downtown, but heck, I just consider it a token of my esteem for a New Albanian process so random, convoluted and inexplicable that it nostalgically reminds me of the feudal nonsense prevalent in Old Albania.

---

Neighborhoods lying in, outside or near downtown, depending on today’s variable definition of downtown, historically have served as laboratories for non-enforcement of a different variety.

Slumlord empowerment blocs and the occasional derelict private dwelling have freely ignored basic codes pertaining to building appearance, sanitation and safety, and pretend-leaders have abetted the extractive shtick.

Nowadays, the city seem to be doing a slightly better job of it, although there always seems to be greater interest in the last resort of demolishing those properties allowed to deteriorate through previous non-enforcement regimes. Little time is devoted to filling the holes left behind, but then again, this is New Albany: One thing at a time, please, and you’d best give us five or six years to accomplish it.

Like basic exterior repairs. I’m continually amazed by prominent examples of neglect that go completely unaddressed. Almost every day, I walk or bike past Williams Plumbing* on the northeast corner of E. Spring and 9th. If I’m not mistaken, long ago it was Cora Shrader’s Shoppe, a nicely maintained corner property.

Now it is a scantily maintained, increasingly dilapidated eyesore used exclusively for what amounts to industrial storage. Extreme weather over a period of years has torn hunks of siding away from both sides of the house, exposing the wood.

Worse, the company’s big trucks tend to be parked right on Spring Street, consistently impeding the view of motorists approaching southbound on 9th.

Do these trucks get ticketed when they block the street sweeper, or does the invisible, undefined, non-enforcement Green Line come into play?

Is it downtown or midtown?

Lowdown, or down low?

If there is ticketing, does Williams Plumbing pay the tickets?

Can a building crying out for code enforcement scrutiny be any more prominently located than this one, or do the code enforcers just shut their eyes two dozen times a day while driving past it?

If readers can answer any of these questions, they’ll enter a drawing for a $175,000, studio-sized condo overlooking the river … in downtown Tirana, Old Albania. Play your cards right, and the neighborhood Mullah might save you a parking space.

---

* Williams Plumbing finally repaired the exterior in 2012. The trucks continue to block sight lines at 9th and Spring.

ASK THE BORED: Whither Mickey Thompson?

Late last week, the Green Mouse reported heightened pager chatter among municipal operatives, suggesting a Gahan TV Dinner Kitchen Cabinet reshuffle was under way.

An immediate spike in Bud Light Lime sales seemed to confirm the rumors, though matters remained firmly under wraps, far below the earth's crust (and the 5th & Elm "Big Dig") in the Down Low Bunker.

The Green Mouse believes that there'll be a new Street Department chief, with Mickey Thompson becoming a full-time troubleshooter of special projects, with special emphasis on checking completed infrastructure boondoggles to ensure that contractors have done what they were supposed to do, which should mean the performance of actual work, but probably implies closer attention to Gahan for State Senate gratitude tithes.

While Thompson is to remain seated on the Board of Public Works and Safety, it isn't clear who'll replace him as head of the street department. The mayor is said to be combing the ranks of his immediate family for suitable candidates.

The remainder of the city's answer's to questions asked by merchants.

The next merchant "mixer" meeting will be on Tuesday, April 19, at 8:30 a.m. It will be hosted by the Carnegie Center, on the corner of Spring and Bank. Police Chief Todd Bailey is being invited to the next meeting. If you're reading this and have a question, send it to me and I'll forward to the right persons.

I've already posted on topics that arose last time.

Team Gahan's breathtaking passive/aggressive answer to the question of making a safe pedestrian crossing at Main and W. 1st.

Signage disparities at the State Street Parking Garage.

Questions were to have been asked of Mickey Thompson, but David Duggins ran interference instead. The actual questions were not included with the answers mailed yesterday, but you probably can infer them.

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Snow Clean Up – The street department does operate on a schedule during snow events. Insuring main roads are cleared for emergency vehicles is the first priority. Individuals should feel empowered to clear spots in front of their businesses for patrons as they deem necessary.

Storm Drains – Storm drains are cleared on a schedule. Should you notice a clogged drain, please contact the Storm Water Department to report storm drain issues 812-945-1989

Broken Limbs on sidewalks – There be excessive debris, please contact the Street Department 812-948-5352.

 § 150.101 CLEANLINESS OF PREMISES.

   (A)   Responsibilities of owners and occupants. Every owner of a dwelling containing two or more dwelling units shall be responsible for maintaining in a clean and sanitary condition the dwelling units and the shared or public area of the dwelling premises thereof. Every occupant of a dwelling containing less than two dwelling units shall be responsible for maintaining in a clean and sanitary condition the shared or public area of the dwelling and premises thereof, unless otherwise provided for by the rental agreement.

   (B)   Responsibility of every occupant of a dwelling or dwelling unit. Every occupant of a dwelling or dwelling unit shall keep in a clean and sanitary condition that part of the dwelling, dwelling unit, facilities, yard and otherwise, all of the premises which he or she and his or her family occupies, uses and controls.

   (C)   Municipal department responsible for administration. Unless specifically stated elsewhere in this chapter, the Building Commissioner shall be responsible for the administration of actions taken under this chapter, including, but not limited to, the issuance of notices to the landowners and other persons, the issuance of certificates of cost to the County Auditor and the administration of the appeals procedure.

   (D)   Maintaining premises free of debris, trash, litter, garbage, refuse, junk and abandoned vehicles.

      (1)   The owner of any lot or parcel of real estate within the city shall maintain the premises, including the real estate, or any alley or sidewalk abutting the real estate, free of all debris, trash, rubbish, litter, garbage, refuse, junk and abandoned vehicles, when the material is within view of any public premises, public alley, street, highway or adjacent property, to such an extent that the premises is a hazard to public health, safety and welfare.

      (2)   The presence of debris, trash, rubbish, litter, garbage, refuse, tires, junk and abandoned vehicles is injurious to the public welfare and is a nuisance.

Crosswalks on Main Street -  At this time crosswalks at corner of Main and First would present a safety hazard as there is no light or stop sign to protect pedestrians and signal a safe crossing. Pedestrians would be invited to walk in an unprotected area.

Pot Holes – Street Department 812-948-5352

Downtown Garbage Can Pick-Up – Downtown trash cans will be picked up twice weekly. We are working on a plan to add trash cans to our downtown area as well. We will keep you in the loop as that plan continues to evolve.

Handicap Spots – The handicap spot on Pearl at the corner of main will be repainted by the street department.

Re-surfacing – When the plan is completed advanced notification will be given.

Downtown Attractiveness – This is a team effort. The city is in the process of planning a spring neighborhood clean-up. We are also working to increase pick up of downtown receptacles. As the above ordnance states, occupants are responsible for shared public areas such as sidewalks or alley ways. The city does not employ inmates from the county jail for any purposes as the jail is operated by the Floyd County Sheriff’s Department, not the City of New Albany.

Street Sweepers - Sweepers do not operate year round. For questions regarding sweeper schedules call the Storm Water Department 812-945-1989.

Street Department – Phone number 812-948-5352

Pavement penis drawings: Where public art, pothole repairs and bureaucrats meet.

According to Main Street resident J in a mid-July Fb posting:

"These pictures are pot holes located on the 6th street alley and the parking lot in between Main and Market next to Lifespring. Lifespring insists these pot holes are the cities responsibility to fix, especially the ones in the alley itself."

Yesterday, J offered an update:

"I was told 2 weeks ago by Warren V Nash that he would pass along the (pothole) info. Considering he's the chairman of the Board of Works, I'm not sure who he is going to 'pass it along' to. Either way, 2 weeks later and still no resolution."

The answer is obvious. The Board of Public Works and Safety currently is on All Stations Red Alert status against the impending street piano invasion. Consequently, it may take a while to address J's potholes -- unless he threatens to put a street piano inside one of them.

Better yet, we should all emulate the protagonist in this story from the UK.

Mystery artist highlights Bury potholes with penis drawings, by Amelia Butterly (
Newsbeat reporter

A mystery "road artist" has been drawing pictures of penises around potholes in Bury as a way to get the council to fix them.

"They [potholes] don't get filled. They'll be there for months," says the artist, speaking to Newsbeat anonymously.

"People will drive over the same pothole and forget about it.

"Suddenly you draw something amusing around it, everyone sees it and it either gets reported or fixed."

You mean like this?

Photo credit: BBC

Sidewalk yellow snow and red herring removal.

On Tuesday morning, the agenda for the weekly Bored of Works meeting was as barren as David Duggins's bookshelf, and so the topic soon turned exculpatory.

Specifically, how did we do with the snow incident?

Previously, Duggins had issued all the appropriate self-commendations: Ignis Fatuus: Duggins says "I think we did an excellent job" removing snow.

I'm sure he shoveled most of it himself. Meanwhile, yesterday the newspaperman Daniel Suddeath was right there with the Bored, live tweeting.

Daniel: Per street department, removing snow from sidewalks, by ordinance, is not responsibility of city. Residents, business owners responsible.

Roger: How did that come up?

Daniel: Street commissioner was asked to clarify by Board of Works.

Roger: Did Mickey ask himself?

Daniel: Warren Nash.

My follow-up question remains unanswered, but now that we know Warren Naps is a regular reader of NAC, let's just ask it again:

Does it remain the responsibility of businesses and homeowners to clear the sidewalks when the snow and ice on the sidewalks were placed there by the city itself?

I think the street department works hard to achieve aims limited by upper management, i.e., City Hall. Gathering together the available evidence, here is what we know.

The city's property includes streets and sidewalks, but the city acknowledges a responsibility to clean only some of the streets, and none of the sidewalks. The street commissioner said so himself.

New Albany official: Cleaning sidewalks not our responsibility, by Daniel Suddeath (N and T)

NEW ALBANY — During most snow events, New Albany follows a four-route course focused on clearing main roads.

When it comes to sidewalks, by city ordinance, the responsibility lies with business owners and residents.

New Albany Street Commissioner Mickey Thompson clarified the city’s charge involving snow and ice removal during Tuesday’s Board of Public Works and Safety meeting.

I can locate only a few random citations for snow, ice and leaves within the city's ordinances, none of which apply to this instance, so I'll hazard a guess that the section being cited is this one.

§ 150.101 CLEANLINESS OF PREMISES.

(C) Municipal department responsible for administration. Unless specifically stated elsewhere in this chapter, the Building Commissioner shall be responsible for the administration of actions taken under this chapter, including, but not limited to, the issuance of notices to the landowners and other persons, the issuance of certificates of cost to the County Auditor and the administration of the appeals procedure.

(D) Maintaining premises free of debris, trash, litter, garbage, refuse, junk and abandoned vehicles.

(1) The owner of any lot or parcel of real estate within the city shall maintain the premises, including the real estate, or any alley or sidewalk abutting the real estate, free of all debris, trash, rubbish, litter, garbage, refuse, junk and abandoned vehicles, when the material is within view of any public premises, public alley, street, highway or adjacent property, to such an extent that the premises is a hazard to public health, safety and welfare.

(2) The presence of debris, trash, rubbish, litter, garbage, refuse, tires, junk and abandoned vehicles is injurious to the public welfare and is a nuisance.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but it appears that even if this is the cited passage, there are no clearly delineated penalties for non-compliance (stop me if you've heard THIS one before), and if there are penalties, we don't ever pursue them.

The issue has been raised in Louisville, too.

Louisville Metro Doesn’t Usually Fine Property Owners For Snow-Covered, Slippery Sidewalks, by Ashley Lopez (WFPL)

"It shall be the duty of all persons and corporations owning or occupying property abutting a public street in Louisville Metro to remove within 24 hours thereafter such snow as may fall on the sidewalks in front of their property. Where the property is unimproved or unoccupied this duty shall devolve on the owner or the agent for the property. Where property is occupied by others than owners thereof, this duty shall devolve on the owner or the tenants and either may be proceeded against for the violation."

Do we have an ordinance, or don't we?

Are there penalties, and if so, are they enforced?

Isn't this the sort of topic that this or any other City Hall might choose to be a bit more clear in presenting for the edification of the public?

Or do we merely muddle through like always, all the while making noises about competence and efficiency that sound curiously like flatulence?

Cars come first in "Walkable" New Albany.

When the people in charge understand the concept of a walkable city about as well as I speak Urdu, then what are the chances that they'll implement any of it?

Now if you'll excuse me, my cat begs my attention as she performs an aria from La Boheme.

ON THE AVENUES: Street “sweeping” epitomizes the degradation of governance in New Albany.

ON THE AVENUES: Street “sweeping” epitomizes the degradation of governance in New Albany.

A weekly web column by Roger A. Baylor.

It’s an election year, and so the current occupant must hurriedly make up for three years of squandered time as it pertains to his unwillingness (read: sheer inability) to define various meaningless but oft-chanted mantras. Consequently, the street department chief has been ceremoniously trotted out to announce an expansion of the city’s street “sweeping” program.

Unfortunately, words have meaning, and ideas matter, and in New Albany, street “sweeping” has not ever been a cleanliness issue.

Rather, it is a political hypocrisy issue, fully exposing this city’s historic tendency not only to tolerate selective law enforcement, but to double down, institutionalize and celebrate it as a civic birthright.

Bluegill perfectly summarizes the prevailing idiocy:

A wasteful program is getting more wasteful. As a Midtown resident. I wish they'd stop rather than expand. This is a parking ticket revenue grab, hounding locals for cash while truckers and other passers through speed by unhindered. We're continually told the city can't afford this or that but we can always afford to pay people to ride around in circles all day writing ridiculously expensive tickets to residents. They even write them when the sweeper isn't sweeping, when people have blocked absolutely nothing. It's a joke.

To repeat: Street “sweeping” should not be expanded. It should be ended. The physical process of “sweeping” is largely futile, and there is no United Nations storm water “law” stipulating dust cloud creation as a workable corrective. Genuine drainage impediments like leaves and garbage barely are addressed by “sweeping.”

Bluegill again:

We'd be better off spending the time and money on drain cleaning and waterway improvements. Instead, the City has chosen the least effective (but most profitable) system to expand.

However, when it comes to profitability and effectiveness, the most profound outrage of all is that parking regulations supposedly applying to all city residents are enforced in some instances, as during street “sweeping,” and not in others, as in the entirety of the historic downtown business district.

Amazingly, it gets worse. Since the inception of institutionalized parking enforcement hypocrisy during the waning years of the third England Error, there has not been the first clear indication of where this imaginary Green Line between enforced and non-enforced parking is drawn.

Following is a column originally published here on May 19, 2011, and repeated in 2013. That's almost four years of ongoing failure. How much longer before we undertake to resolve the parking issues downtown?

---

The sweeping of municipal dysfunction is prohibited. That's the ordinance we actually enforce.

Yesterday was Wednesday, and Wednesday is street sweeping day on our side of the block.

A police operative customarily follows the street sweeper, because cars are not supposed to be parked on the street, where they obstruct the sweeper’s solemn duty to transfer rubbish from the curb into the center of the bicycle lane.

Recently, with the stated intent of promoting businesses (like my own) and sparing shoppers, diners and shop employees the hassle of thinking about where they park, City Hall publicly announced a moratorium on the enforcement of parking regulations “downtown.”

To my knowledge, downtown as a geographical construct was never specifically defined in this enforcement suspension context. My household is in Midtown, while Vincennes Street, only a few blocks away, now calls itself Uptown.

However, Develop New Albany only recently indicated that in the organization’s eyes, a stated organizational mandate to deal exclusively with downtown issues does not preclude it from expanding operations outward, into areas previously not regarded as such, implying that suddenly, we’re all downtowners.

Meanwhile, our residence in Midtown shares a driveway with a dental office. There used to be a day care business next door, and a doctor’s office further down. Big Value is on one corner of the block, opposite an ad agency office. On another corner, there is a funeral home, facing a fire and water damage repair shop.

That’s a fair number of businesses for a residential block -- and I’m not even counting meth labs.

---

Yesterday, although I knew the street sweeper was coming, I left my car parked on the street. I wanted to see what would happen.

Leaving the usual pathway of uncollected dirt in its wake, the sweeper swerved to avoid my car, and the police functionary promptly ticketed me. Moments later, I climbed into the car and drove to my meeting, westbound on Spring Street, where I caught up to the sweeper and the tailing police officer.

Other parked cars were obstructing the sweeper’s progress, but they were not ticketed, presumably because an invisible line of demarcation had been passed, and the weekly shifting of muck and butts from curb to street was occurring within the “downtown” area, where the moratorium of non-enforcement was in effect to promote businesses ... that's right, businesses just like the ones on my block, where the rules against sweeper obstruction are being enforced, or at the very least, where tickets are being written, whether not there is any intent to collect the fines.

I got the ticket, and I’ll pay the fine.

The question: Why should I?

When there is a stated policy of non-enforcement within areas that are only vaguely defined, what is the rationale for enforcement elsewhere?

Anywhere?

If the rationale for non-enforcement downtown (whatever that really means) is the proximity of businesses, shouldn’t that rationale apply throughout the city?

If downtowners who have serially refused to pay their parking fines for decades announce their evasive intentions on local television, and are not prosecuted immediately, why should I feel any obligation whatsoever to drop my twenty-spot in the slot?

Yet, I do. It’s something in my upbringing. Granted, that’s twenty fewer clams to be deposited with local businesses downtown, but heck, I just consider it a token of my esteem for a New Albanian process so random, convoluted and inexplicable that it nostalgically reminds me of the feudal nonsense prevalent in Old Albania.

---

Neighborhoods lying in, outside or near downtown, depending on today’s variable definition of downtown, historically have served as laboratories for non-enforcement of a different variety.

Slumlord empowerment blocs and the occasional derelict private dwelling have freely ignored basic codes pertaining to building appearance, sanitation and safety, and pretend-leaders like the soon-to-be-mercifully-retired Steve Price have abetted the extractive shtick.

Nowadays, the city seem to be doing a slightly better job of it, although there always seems to be greater interest in the last resort of demolishing those properties allowed to deteriorate through previous non-enforcement regimes. Little time is devoted to filling the holes left behind, but then again, this is New Albany: One thing at a time, please, and you’d best give us five or six years to accomplish it.

Like basic exterior repairs. I’m continually amazed by prominent examples of neglect that go completely unaddressed. Almost every day, I walk or bike past Williams Plumbing* on the northeast corner of E. Spring and 9th. If I’m not mistaken, long ago it was Cora Shrader’s Shoppe, a nicely maintained corner property.

Now it is a scantily maintained, increasingly dilapidated eyesore used exclusively for what amounts to industrial storage. Extreme weather over a period of years has torn hunks of siding away from both sides of the house, exposing the wood. Worse, the company’s big trucks tend to be parked right on Spring Street, consistently impeding the view of motorists approaching southbound on 9th.

Do these trucks get ticketed when they block the street sweeper, or does the invisible, undefined, non-enforcement Green Line come into play?

Is it downtown or midtown?

Lowdown, or down low?

If there is ticketing, does Williams Plumbing pay the tickets?

Can a building crying out for code enforcement scrutiny be any more prominently located than this one, or do the code enforcers just shut their eyes two dozen times a day while driving past it?

If readers can answer any of these questions, they’ll enter a drawing for a $175,000, studio-sized condo overlooking the river … in downtown Tirana, Old Albania. Play your cards right, and the neighborhood Mullah might save you a parking space.


* Williams Plumbing finally repaired the exterior in 2012. The trucks continue to block sight lines at 9th and Spring. 

I don't even swim, so brother, can you spare a dime to fix this neglected school crosswalk?

Yesterday, as the Bored of Works was meeting, a reader wrote:

"Called street department this morning about red flashing lights, out of order at East 10th and Oak Street by S. Ellen Jones school. Been out over a year. No money to fix it, they said."

By the way, city government's "Re-Elect the Mayor" social media feed informs us that the $9 million aquatic center build-out is going swimmingly.

Fundamentally better?

The last two Wednesdays in October, Spring Street wasn't swept. Who cleans up the sawdust and debris, anyway?

The Harvest Homecoming parade must be drawing near.

How else to explain the annual lip gloss and pedicure?

It's enough to drive a pass-through trucker wild.

The curb is so close, and yet so far.

Just curious, but why block the bike lane to supervise the once-a-year pre-parade maintenance of Spring Street, when the curb's only four feet away?

In the Open Air Museum: Never faster than 20 mph.

Ah, the joys of old-fashioned, leisurely travel in the Open Air Museum ... traveling 8th Street last Wednesday, all the way from Elm Street to the city garage on Grant Line Road, and never faster than a motorized wheelchair. The city truck's driver was having quite the animated conversation with his passenger. I could see him gesticulating in the driver's side rear view mirror, but because he never looked back, he didn't even see me shaking my fist at him.

NAC thanks the Street Department!

Those pavement patches in the alley beinhd BSB are where there used to be passageways that swallowed forklifts. Unfortunately, the neighborhood kids are going to miss their wading pools.

Correction---the Trucks Do Have Brakes!!

On Tuesday last I posted on this blog a handful of pictures of yard waste collections that had lain dormant for some time. The issue was these had all been reported to the Street Department personnel on a repeated basis to no avail.

This morning I’m happy to report that as of dark thirty last evening, a full 75% of those posted are now gone. Additionally in checking back with folks in the neighborhoods I learned that many others were disposed of by the city’s Grapple Truck crew over the weekend as well.

So to Mayor England, Street Superintendant Mickey Thompson, and especially the guys on the trucks we send out a heartfelt THANK YOU!!! We the people really do appreciate your efforts.

We also want to thank all of the aforementioned as well as Board of Works President Matt Denison for coordinating the dumpster drop this weekend for the cleanup efforts of the SEJ Neighborhood Association.

Kudos as well to Padgett Inc. for manufacturing such fine looking dumpsters for these events. The red lettering on the bright white paint looks sharp!

Albeit I’m quite sure not all of the contents came from the SEJ area, we none the less managed to fill all five of them to overflowing. So as of this writing our fair city is minus two extremely large loads of yard waste, two of household trash, and one of old tires. Our sincere thanks once again to all who participated in this affair.

Speaking of tires, one gentleman who concentrated solely on them noted that a large number of them had been cut in the fashion that a repair shop might in order to discourage one from trying to salvage them for reuse. So it begs the question--- do we have some unscrupulous souls in our midst who are dumping their rejects in our neighborhoods to avoid the business costs of disposing of them properly??

If so would it not be a coup if we could catch them in the act on camera?? Sounds much like a Block Watch project to me.

And just to show that we at NAC believe in equal opportunity press, did anyone note the participation of anyone from the new “Landlord’s Association” in this weekends cleanup attempts?

If so another round of THANKS for helping!! If not, WHY?? It was advertised well in advance after all.