Non-learning curve: This ON THE AVENUES column repeat reveals that since 2011, we've been discussing the safety hazards on Spring Street between 10th and 9th. Too bad City Hall is deaf.

Elsewhere today: If you want to know how Deaf Gahan purposefully botched the Speck plan for walkable streets, read this article. Hint: HWC dunnit.

I'm rethinking my weekly ON THE AVENUES column placement. It isn't going away, but it may be moving to a different time slot, and as I contemplate the options, hopefully you'll forgive a rerun or two.

This column from February 12, 2015 is a doubleheader of topicality. It addresses the ongoing foolishness of street sweeping, but more importantly, establishes a chronology with regard to the Spring Street safety hazard otherwise known as Williams Plumbing, located in a building at 901 E. Spring that seems always to teeter on the edge of an eyesore -- and has fallen off the edge on more than one occasion, as in 2016.

This outrage against innovative public art must be avenged -- or, what happened to the Williams Junk Water Heater Park?

Let's begin a block up the street. The spot where Spring Street curves at the intersection of 10th always has been a red flag, whether one-way or two-way. Drivers approaching westbound, completely unimpeded from the stop light (and railroad crossing) at 15th Street, have five full blocks to build up speed, and invariably navigate the curve too fast.

The problem isn't quite as bad eastbound, probably because the intersections at 7th Street (stop light) and 8th Street (major northbound connector) have a slowing effect.

Last year's two-way reversion, and the embarrassing placement of a completely useless pedestrian "beg button" crosswalk (a tiny, sad yellow light -- thanks, HWC Engineering) at precisely the point when westbound traffic reaches top speed, has done nothing to decrease westbound speeds around the curve.

Drivers simply drift to the right in order to make the curve, which means they're regularly straying into the (rumored) bicycle lane and unoccupied parking spaces. At times, they come very close to the sidewalk itself.

I see it often while walking -- something city officials should consider trying some time, if they can extricate themselves from Nanny Barksdale's "inhumane" working conditions.

Then, having driven too fast around a dangerous curve, drivers speedily approach 9th Street, where the tall Williams Plumbing trucks have been parked along the north side of the street for as long as anyone can remember, and often on the east side of 9th.

In the evening and on weekends, these trucks completely obscure the viewpoint of all users, whether traveling westbound on Spring or southbound on 9th.

By the way, municipal ordinance forbids parking commercial vehicles being parked curbside in this manner -- and as long as anyone can remember, this ordinance has not been enforced. 

To summarize, it's been seven years since this blog first mentioned the issue, and the problem was ongoing for quite some time even then.

It's very simple, folks. These conditions almost certainly played a part in skateboarder Matt Brewer's death, and irrespective of the role they played, these conditions are dangerous, not only to non-automotive users, but for drivers, too.

The intersection of Spring and 10th needs to be controlled, and those trucks from Williams Plumbing need to be removed.

If HWC Engineering's crack team of Speck Plan assassins couldn't grasp these plain facts in 2017, a refund is due the city. My neighborhood is sick and tired of the bullshit, wherein leaders and their chosen contractors duck responsibility.

If Team Gahan's sickening arrogance precludes admitting they made a mistake in allowing these obvious instances of negligence to continue unabated, then the clique needs to be cashiered in 2019.

Here's the column repeat from February, 2015. Note that in 2016, I began protesting the street sweeper violations ... and Team Gahan folded like the poseurs they are.

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ON THE AVENUES: Street “sweeping” epitomizes the degradation of governance in New Albany.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

It’s an election year, and so the current occupant must hurriedly make up for three years of squandered time as it pertains to his unwillingness (read: sheer inability) to define various meaningless but oft-chanted mantras. Consequently, the street department chief has been ceremoniously trotted out to announce an expansion of the city’s street “sweeping” program.

Unfortunately, words have meaning, and ideas matter, and in New Albany, street “sweeping” has not ever been a cleanliness issue.

Rather, it is a political hypocrisy issue, fully exposing this city’s historic tendency not only to tolerate selective law enforcement, but to double down, institutionalize and celebrate it as a civic birthright.

Bluegill perfectly summarizes the prevailing idiocy:

A wasteful program is getting more wasteful. As a Midtown resident. I wish they'd stop rather than expand. This is a parking ticket revenue grab, hounding locals for cash while truckers and other passers through speed by unhindered. We're continually told the city can't afford this or that but we can always afford to pay people to ride around in circles all day writing ridiculously expensive tickets to residents. They even write them when the sweeper isn't sweeping, when people have blocked absolutely nothing. It's a joke.

To repeat: Street “sweeping” should not be expanded. It should be ended. The physical process of “sweeping” is largely futile, and there is no United Nations storm water “law” stipulating dust cloud creation as a workable corrective. Genuine drainage impediments like leaves and garbage barely are addressed by “sweeping.”

Bluegill again:

We'd be better off spending the time and money on drain cleaning and waterway improvements. Instead, the City has chosen the least effective (but most profitable) system to expand.

However, when it comes to profitability and effectiveness, the most profound outrage of all is that parking regulations supposedly applying to all city residents are enforced in some instances, as during street “sweeping,” and not in others, as in the entirety of the historic downtown business district.

Amazingly, it gets worse. Since the inception of institutionalized parking enforcement hypocrisy during the waning years of the third England Error, there has not been the first clear indication of where this imaginary Green Line between enforced and non-enforced parking is drawn.

Following is a column originally published here on May 19, 2011, and repeated in 2013. That's almost four years of ongoing failure. How much longer before we undertake to resolve the parking issues downtown?

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The sweeping of municipal dysfunction is prohibited. That's the ordinance we actually enforce.

Yesterday was Wednesday, and Wednesday is street sweeping day on our side of the block.

A police operative customarily follows the street sweeper, because cars are not supposed to be parked on the street, where they obstruct the sweeper’s solemn duty to transfer rubbish from the curb into the center of the bicycle lane.

Recently, with the stated intent of promoting businesses (like my own) and sparing shoppers, diners and shop employees the hassle of thinking about where they park, City Hall publicly announced a moratorium on the enforcement of parking regulations “downtown.”

To my knowledge, downtown as a geographical construct was never specifically defined in this enforcement suspension context. My household is in Midtown, while Vincennes Street, only a few blocks away, now calls itself Uptown.

However, Develop New Albany only recently indicated that in the organization’s eyes, a stated organizational mandate to deal exclusively with downtown issues does not preclude it from expanding operations outward, into areas previously not regarded as such, implying that suddenly, we’re all downtowners.

Meanwhile, our residence in Midtown shares a driveway with a dental office. There used to be a day care business next door, and a doctor’s office further down. Big Value is on one corner of the block, opposite an ad agency office. On another corner, there is a funeral home, facing a fire and water damage repair shop.

That’s a fair number of businesses for a residential block -- and I’m not even counting meth labs.

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Yesterday, although I knew the street sweeper was coming, I left my car parked on the street. I wanted to see what would happen.

Leaving the usual pathway of uncollected dirt in its wake, the sweeper swerved to avoid my car, and the police functionary promptly ticketed me. Moments later, I climbed into the car and drove to my meeting, westbound on Spring Street, where I caught up to the sweeper and the tailing police officer.

Other parked cars were obstructing the sweeper’s progress, but they were not ticketed, presumably because an invisible line of demarcation had been passed, and the weekly shifting of muck and butts from curb to street was occurring within the “downtown” area, where the moratorium of non-enforcement was in effect to promote businesses ... that's right, businesses just like the ones on my block, where the rules against sweeper obstruction are being enforced, or at the very least, where tickets are being written, whether not there is any intent to collect the fines.

I got the ticket, and I’ll pay the fine.

The question: Why should I?

When there is a stated policy of non-enforcement within areas that are only vaguely defined, what is the rationale for enforcement elsewhere?

Anywhere?

If the rationale for non-enforcement downtown (whatever that really means) is the proximity of businesses, shouldn’t that rationale apply throughout the city?

If downtowners who have serially refused to pay their parking fines for decades announce their evasive intentions on local television, and are not prosecuted immediately, why should I feel any obligation whatsoever to drop my twenty-spot in the slot?

Yet, I do. It’s something in my upbringing. Granted, that’s twenty fewer clams to be deposited with local businesses downtown, but heck, I just consider it a token of my esteem for a New Albanian process so random, convoluted and inexplicable that it nostalgically reminds me of the feudal nonsense prevalent in Old Albania.

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Neighborhoods lying in, outside or near downtown, depending on today’s variable definition of downtown, historically have served as laboratories for non-enforcement of a different variety.

Slumlord empowerment blocs and the occasional derelict private dwelling have freely ignored basic codes pertaining to building appearance, sanitation and safety, and pretend-leaders have abetted the extractive shtick.

Nowadays, the city seem to be doing a slightly better job of it, although there always seems to be greater interest in the last resort of demolishing those properties allowed to deteriorate through previous non-enforcement regimes. Little time is devoted to filling the holes left behind, but then again, this is New Albany: One thing at a time, please, and you’d best give us five or six years to accomplish it.

Like basic exterior repairs. I’m continually amazed by prominent examples of neglect that go completely unaddressed. Almost every day, I walk or bike past Williams Plumbing* on the northeast corner of E. Spring and 9th. If I’m not mistaken, long ago it was Cora Shrader’s Shoppe, a nicely maintained corner property.

Now it is a scantily maintained, increasingly dilapidated eyesore used exclusively for what amounts to industrial storage. Extreme weather over a period of years has torn hunks of siding away from both sides of the house, exposing the wood.

Worse, the company’s big trucks tend to be parked right on Spring Street, consistently impeding the view of motorists approaching southbound on 9th.

Do these trucks get ticketed when they block the street sweeper, or does the invisible, undefined, non-enforcement Green Line come into play?

Is it downtown or midtown?

Lowdown, or down low?

If there is ticketing, does Williams Plumbing pay the tickets?

Can a building crying out for code enforcement scrutiny be any more prominently located than this one, or do the code enforcers just shut their eyes two dozen times a day while driving past it?

If readers can answer any of these questions, they’ll enter a drawing for a $175,000, studio-sized condo overlooking the river … in downtown Tirana, Old Albania. Play your cards right, and the neighborhood Mullah might save you a parking space.

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* Williams Plumbing finally repaired the exterior in 2012. The trucks continue to block sight lines at 9th and Spring.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Is it true Deaf Gahan won't sign the littering ordinance?

The Green Mouse has been told that Mayor Jeff Gahan has refused to sign the littering ordinance recently approved by city council, which voted 9-0 in favor on the ordinance's first two readings, and 7-1 (Coffey against, Blair not present) on the third and final reading.

Coffey lands a role in Game of Drones as council passes littering ordinance, though not before an appearance by the ghost of James Stockdale.

If memory serves, the ordinance originated with council Republicans Al Knable and David Barksdale, with Democrat Matt Nash also appearing as "co-sponsor." In theory, this suggests bipartisan support (as well as a veto-proof majority).

City council déjà vu ... could this anti-littering ordinance be the dream that might come true?

Previously an insider suggested that after initially favoring the measure, Gahan had concluded that it would be associated with potential mayoral rival Knable, and therefore decided to go full frontal petty for fear of the positive association.

Deaf Gahan mulls bringing King Larry out of retirement to toss a spanner in council's littering ordinances.

Will Gahan divulge his reasons publicly, or trot out a minion's press release?

Stay tuned.

Coffey lands a role in Game of Drones as council passes littering ordinance, though not before an appearance by the ghost of James Stockdale.

Last Monday, less than 24 hours before the scandal-plagued Jeff Gahan's Super Tuesday vote-buying extravaganza allowed Dan "Tulips or Two Lips" Coffey to play-act as the face of historic preservation in New Albany, Coffey was doing the mayor's bidding in council, gleefully riding point in an effort to slow a litter ordinance that Gahan reasoned would make the mayor appear diminished in the face of activism from a Republican (in this instance, Al Knable).

The ordinance passed with only Coffey dissenting, but the debate had the curious effect of opening the James Stockdale Memorial Window of Existential Confusion, through which Knable's accidental colleague David Aebersold swan-dove.

Aebersold became bizarrely fixated on two questions, which he kept repeating aloud as though disoriented, referring constantly to "they," which remained undefined, although in this context it functions similarly to the cartoonist Bil Keane's famous "Not Me" and "Ida Know" phantoms:

1. How can we pass laws not knowing if "they" will enforce them?

2. I'd like to know what "they" think before we vote a third time on an ordinance we approved 9-0 the first two times.

Well, David, seeing as you're a Republican, one thing you might do to enhance enforcement is spend time every day making the point to New Albany voters that your legislative body has handed Team Gahan a clean-up tool, and consequently, it's up to Team Gahan's executive branch to use it -- and if "they" don't, there'll be electoral ramifications.

In the case of littering, you might find quite a few Democrats inclined to agree with you.

As for what "they" think about ordinances and enforcement, David, you had two and a half weeks following the first two readings to hoist your bulk from the chair and go ask them. If their answers don't measure up, then see my comments preceding; rally your own team, and hold Team Gahan's feet to the proverbial fire.

I know. It means you'll have to show some initiative and put forth a modicum of effort. Sorry about that, but ironically, had Jeff Gahan not placed a premium on kneecapping his fellow party member John Gonder (and dragging Shirley Baird down with him) in 2015, it's doubtful you'd have been elected to an at-large council seat in the first place.

Might as well make lemonade from these lemons, David. Independents like me might even help you. You have a bit of power, so use it.

New Albany City Council approves tougher litter law, by Erin Walden (Religion Columnists Multiply Like Rabbits)

Council debates completeness and feasibility of "core" bill before passing

NEW ALBANY — After debate among officials regarding the completeness and feasibility of a proposed litter ordinance, the New Albany City Council officially approved a new law that will impose harsher fines on litterbugs in the city.

The final reading of the ordinance passed 7-1 during Monday night's meeting, with councilman Dan Coffey voting against the ordinance. Councilman Scott Blair was absent during that portion of the meeting.

Deaf Gahan mulls bringing King Larry out of retirement to toss a spanner in council's littering ordinances.

You may not be aware of the vital information conveyed by Communications Spigot Anchor Wielder (Welder?) Mike Hall from Mayor Jeff Gahan to the assembled city council representatives on July 20.

Ooh ... aah.

Special thanks to local jazz legend Jamey Aebersold for this musical accompaniment.

Later during the July meeting, following Dan Coffey's vivid denunciation of sidewalk cafes, the Wizard of Westside used a DQ paper napkin to wipe his lips of barbecued bologna flecks and sauce, and voted "yea" with all eight colleagues on the first two readings of two ordinance amendments aimed at littering.

The newspaper's education correspondent (?) was there to record the meeting for posterity.

New Albany City Council approves stronger litter ordinance, by Erin Walden (Hanson People-Focused Advertising Accumulator)

NEW ALBANY — New Albany City Council took major strides to make the city, as one council member put it, an “overall cleaner city” Thursday night.

The governing body passed a litter ordinance that imposes much heavier fines for littering, structured to make citizens think twice before dropping a cigarette butt, ditching a bag of trash instead of paying for a trash service or dumping an appliance.

Tonight there'll be third readings of these bills, and one would imagine their passage is a foregone conclusion given unanimous 9-0 votes.

I've been to fewer council meetings in 2017 than previous years, but we must remember that back when separate votes were taken on all three readings (nowadays the first two are lumped together), Luminous Larry Kochert managed to vote yes, no and abstain during three readings of one piece of legislation over a span of two meetings.

This littering initiative also is ripe for chicanery, and when self-inflicted wounds are the objective, Gahan's your main man.

Gahan has talked his usual big game about "reform," while doing almost nothing to change those preconditions that might spur genuine change. The prime movers of these ordinances are Al Knable and David Barksdale, both Republicans. So is Gahan, although he likes to think of himself as a Democrat. Knable is mulling a mayoral run. If the ordinance passes, it will be Gahan's responsibility to enforce it.

Put all these ingredients in a blender, add some ice cubes and a double deuce of Bud Light Lime-A-Rita, and behold the ensuing frozen toadstool broth.

I predict Gahan will try to "uncredit" Knable by mounting a diversionary assault on the littering ordinance, using Lanky Gibson's lawyerly legerdemain as pretext -- and such is my commitment to quality entertainment that I'll actually attend the meeting tonight just in case amusing pyrotechnics break out.

Live tweeting? Maybe. Depends on that ol' devil martini.

Huzzahs all around as Mayor Gahan finally delivers jobs ... to Charlestown.

Was there a finder's fee?

I mean, the car salesmen pay it. Maybe lunch at Hooter's?

Earlier, I mentioned the "local economy solution."

I'm reading Michael Shuman's "The Local Economy Solution," primarily because David Duggins isn't.

"In his tenth book, Shuman, who was instrumental in designing the crowdfunding JOBS act as well as in the founding of the Business Alliance for Local Living Economies, introduces his concept of “pollinator” enterprises. These are “self-financing entities that stimulate and strengthen other local businesses,” and Shuman presents a range of these successful economic-development programs from around the world, laying out a strong alternative to the usual top-down economies dependent on taxpayer subsidies."

With this thought as backdrop, consider one of the more bizarre stories to come down the pike in a while, wherein the mayor of New Albany is thanked profusely by the mayor of Charlestown for providing providential assistance in the latter's successful use of top-down corporate welfare subsidies to attract a company even after the former's offer of the same incentives failed to entice it.

UPDATE: Auto supplier coming to Charlestown portion of River Ridge, by Elizabeth Beilman (N and T)

CHARLESTOWN — An automotive company that originally had eyes on New Albany announced Thursday it will locate in Charlestown at River Ridge Commerce Center.

Magnolia Automotive Services LLC, a minority-owned joint venture between Toyota Tsusho America Inc. and James Group International, plans to invest $4.4 million to establish a new facility and create 26 new jobs in the Southern Indiana community by 2017.

As David Duggins would say, it's all just "boilerplate" crony capitalism up to this point, but Charlestown's Mayor Hall provides ironic further context. Turns out he had an ace in the hole.

The Japanese company had tentative plans in December to locate in New Albany. The plan commission there approved preliminary plans for Toyota to locate two 62,000-square-foot distribution centers on a 20-acre site at Grant Line Industrial Park West before it pulled out.

Charlestown Mayor Bob Hall attributed some of the success in nabbing Magnolia to New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan.

“I also give a lot of credit to Mayor Gahan and the city of New Albany for keeping Southern Indiana in the hunt for this project when company leaders were on the verge of going in another direction," Hall said in a news release. "Had Mayor Gahan not kept the dialogue going with company leaders, this project would have landed in an entirely other region or state."

There is an opportunity cost to the city of New Albany's top-down approach to economic development, and it is amply illustrated in this instance. Toward which other outcomes might City Hall have used this time and money?

As it stands, we're left with no new industrial park tenants, but the adulation of One Southern Indiana and Mayor Bob Hall.

And this isn't even sufficient return to buy a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks -- all of it for only 26 jobs, anyway.

I agree with Michael Shuman, whose simplified overarching point is this: Use the same time and less money to target needs within the existing local economy and help it to grow, with the probablle results being the same number of jobs created, which in any event would emanate from existing local businesses tied more closely to the local economy, whose presence contributes more to ongoing local job creation than Magnolia Automotive Services ever could.

As Jeff Gahan expended time and money placing a tenant at River Ridge, Indatus got away. It's worth repeating this reader comment from yesterday.

I'll say it again - if Indatus had had access to real high-speed internet service and been encouraged to expand in New Albany, then the investment by out of town businesses, the spin-off businesses, and the growth heralded by the White House would have happened here, not in Louisville.

New Albany lost a great deal when they let that business go…

How many businesses have been sought out and encouraged to move here in the past twelve years?

Maybe this photo explains why Jeff Gahan appeases Dan Coffey's homophobia.

Politics makes strange ... well, you know the rest.

All we can do is feel sorry for some of the other participants in the mayor's cookout. It must be disconcerting knowing that the hope of retaining one's working position requires fealty to those willing to tolerate homophobia, and being compelled to break bread with a bigot.

From earlier this year ...

Dan Coffey's homophobic council tantrum: The Video.

Newspaper's editorial board goes where Dickey, Gahan won't: "New Albany is stuck with Dan Coffey whether residents like him or not."

ON THE AVENUES: Dan Coffey speaks for Jeff Gahan and the Democratic Party … unless they say otherwise.

Nash, Bored of Works to downtown merchants: Shut up, stop complaining, consider selling nice carrots.

Got tomatoes?

Let's see if I have this straight.

Business owners who have invested in downtown New Albany with the reasonable expectation of a level playing field, and who conduct their transactions all year-round, observe that temporary unannounced street changes necessitated by a politically-motivated farmers market capital improvement project -- one not once discussed or vetted publicly in any coherent way -- interferes with their operations on a profitable day of the week.

They follow the instructions handed down to them from above, and make space in their work day to come to the Board of Works  (it not being an option to hold meetings any other time than mornings on a Tuesday, or to communicate with the public in any other manner) so as to make this point: In the absence (yet again) of transparency and communication, and while not questioning the utility of the farmers market itself, why are year-round bricks 'n' mortar merchants inconvenienced for the sake of businesses (i.e., the farmers) that are located outside the city?

It's hardly hoisting the black flag: Shouldn't they have been part of the conversation, and shouldn't they have been informed?

The board chews its cud for a week, and then predictably, instead of providing answers to the earnest questions asked, it expresses outrage at being inconvenienced, and abruptly transforms the requests into a referendum on the farmers market itself. The usual suspects are assembled to pledge fealty, denounce the interlopers, and provide vapid theater of the absurd. The Democratic party chairman takes notes, better to bring Redevelopment onto the side of "fundamentally better" conformity.

Not only is this entire charade intellectually dishonest -- and I risk insulting the word "intellectual" by connecting it with a politicized appendage like the board of works -- but it speaks to the core vindictiveness of the Gahan administration. 

There'll never be a "zero-budget" consideration of top-down assumptions, which if questioned, will result in the discrediting of the questioner (see: Dan Coffey vs. Diane Benedetti in the 5th).

The only thing missing at yesterday's by-the-numbers show trial was Warren Nash selling popcorn and admission tickets, with a percentage of the proceeds going directly to Jeff Gahan's re-election fund.

Perhaps Antiques Attic can purchase penance by paying its Temerity Tax directly to the mayor.

Board gives vote of confidence to New Albany Farmers Market, by Chris Morris (Repel the Interlopers Digest)

NEW ALBANY — The New Albany Farmers Market isn’t going anywhere — at least not for the next nine weeks.

The New Albany Board of Public Works and Safety gave the market a vote of confidence Tuesday, which means Bank Street, from Market to Spring, will remain closed from 6 a.m. to around 1 p.m. each Saturday for vendors to sell goods until the Farmers Market pavilion renovations are completed in July.

A visual Fischer goes full Gahan on the ad hoc demolition of historic properties.

Dear Louisville

Been there, done that. Jeff Gahan personally inspected the historic tavern building at 922 Culbertson, then rejected subsequent evidence that didn't jibe with his "professional" opinion as a former salesman of veneer products. The building came down. Palms were greased. Coffey got his rocks off, and now the site is being monetized for campaign finance.

Signed ... the Hood

PS -- If anyone sees our council person, can you let us know? 

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Tonight is the Jefferson-Jackson dinner, when Greg Fischer and Jeff Gahan will take the stage to trade yarns about those dumbass preservationists. You see, Gahan wanna Omni, too, and why not learn from the best?

We discussed it last October.

ON THE AVENUES: Now on tap at the ghost of Haughey’s Place: The politics of pure spite.

... With the mayor having conceded moments after the demolition that a mysterious, secret infill “plan” was in place all along, and with the very existence of this unrevealed plan neatly explaining the city’s ongoing reluctance to clearly explicate the building’s presumed decay – again, other than to insist that the same “public safety” concerns currently unenforced on hazardous one-way streets pressingly applied to this one, lone building sans any semblance of due diligence – it is obvious that Sekula made the error of fatally intruding into what was, in effect, a finished deal, one done dirt cheap in timeless and enduring New Albany civic fashion.

Regime. Change. Now.

Metro didn’t require engineering report before demolition of buildings at Omni site, by Stephen George (Insider Louisville)

By declaring the buildings an immediate safety risk, Metro avoided a lengthy public approval process that includes a one-week notice of intent to demolish, public review and input, and an additional mandatory review for any building listed on the National Register of Historic Places, such as the Morrissey Garage. That process applies to all private developers working on historic sites or structures.

Mayor Greg Fischer told IL on Wednesday he is comfortable with the conclusions drawn about the buildings, which stood on the site of the biggest economic development project in downtown Louisville’s history. He said he visited and personally examined the buildings and was concerned they could collapse, threatening public safety.

“I understood the importance of that decision. I went in those buildings myself, and I saw the state of disrepair they were in as well,” he said. “I saw that also there was a homeless camp inside there. What I did not want to see is those buildings collapse with people inside them, people being killed.

“So unfortunately these buildings couldn’t be saved, and that’s why they needed to come down,” he continued. “As I said, I checked it out myself as well, and I understand a verbal engineering report told us that’s what had to happen.”

City Hall, Jeff Speck and "The Death of Expertise."

On Wednesday, March 18 at 6:00 p.m., there will be a third "public information session" on Jeff Speck's downtown street network proposal, to be held at the Pepin Mansion at 1003 E. Main Street.

With the dysfunctional grandiosity of John "Pinocchio" Rosenbarger's pet Main Street project boondoggle festering just yards away, the Bored of Works will eschew the irony.

Not only that, it will boil, skewer, braise, sear, poach, roast, fry and stew the irony.

That's because the survival rate of irony in New Albany is even worse than the odds of Kevin Zurschmiede ever grasping the dimensions of human trafficking.

Once again, the public will be invited to air its views on a study few have read. As I noted recently, the meeting will accomplish almost nothing, because no effort will be made to answer questions or educate the public.

ON THE AVENUES: As Admiral Gahan steers his Speck study into the Bermuda Triangle, crewmen Padgett, Stumler and Caesar grimly toss all the rum overboard.

Gahan and his merry minions continue to hint privately that they're altogether for Speck's proposals, while doing everything possible to publicly distances themselves from them. With every passing day, the mayor works to sabotage what he insists he supports.

If that's not bipolarity, I await a better definition of the phenomenon

Meanwhile, at The Federalist, Tom Nichols describes "The Death of Expertise." I link to the essay with no small trepidation, given that it may be viewed as an endorsement of the current regime's operational philosophy.

... The death of expertise is a rejection not only of knowledge, but of the ways in which we gain knowledge and learn about things. Fundamentally, it’s a rejection of science and rationality, which are the foundations of Western civilization itself. Yes, I said “Western civilization”: that paternalistic, racist, ethnocentric approach to knowledge that created the nuclear bomb, the Edsel, and New Coke, but which also keeps diabetics alive, lands mammoth airliners in the dark, and writes documents like the Charter of the United Nations.

This isn’t just about politics, which would be bad enough. No, it’s worse than that: the perverse effect of the death of expertise is that without real experts, everyone is an expert on everything. To take but one horrifying example, we live today in an advanced post-industrial country that is now fighting a resurgence of whooping cough — a scourge nearly eliminated a century ago — merely because otherwise intelligent people have been second-guessing their doctors and refusing to vaccinate their kids after reading stuff written by people who know exactly zip about medicine. (Yes, I mean people like Jenny McCarthy.

ON THE AVENUES: Street “sweeping” epitomizes the degradation of governance in New Albany.

ON THE AVENUES: Street “sweeping” epitomizes the degradation of governance in New Albany.

A weekly web column by Roger A. Baylor.

It’s an election year, and so the current occupant must hurriedly make up for three years of squandered time as it pertains to his unwillingness (read: sheer inability) to define various meaningless but oft-chanted mantras. Consequently, the street department chief has been ceremoniously trotted out to announce an expansion of the city’s street “sweeping” program.

Unfortunately, words have meaning, and ideas matter, and in New Albany, street “sweeping” has not ever been a cleanliness issue.

Rather, it is a political hypocrisy issue, fully exposing this city’s historic tendency not only to tolerate selective law enforcement, but to double down, institutionalize and celebrate it as a civic birthright.

Bluegill perfectly summarizes the prevailing idiocy:

A wasteful program is getting more wasteful. As a Midtown resident. I wish they'd stop rather than expand. This is a parking ticket revenue grab, hounding locals for cash while truckers and other passers through speed by unhindered. We're continually told the city can't afford this or that but we can always afford to pay people to ride around in circles all day writing ridiculously expensive tickets to residents. They even write them when the sweeper isn't sweeping, when people have blocked absolutely nothing. It's a joke.

To repeat: Street “sweeping” should not be expanded. It should be ended. The physical process of “sweeping” is largely futile, and there is no United Nations storm water “law” stipulating dust cloud creation as a workable corrective. Genuine drainage impediments like leaves and garbage barely are addressed by “sweeping.”

Bluegill again:

We'd be better off spending the time and money on drain cleaning and waterway improvements. Instead, the City has chosen the least effective (but most profitable) system to expand.

However, when it comes to profitability and effectiveness, the most profound outrage of all is that parking regulations supposedly applying to all city residents are enforced in some instances, as during street “sweeping,” and not in others, as in the entirety of the historic downtown business district.

Amazingly, it gets worse. Since the inception of institutionalized parking enforcement hypocrisy during the waning years of the third England Error, there has not been the first clear indication of where this imaginary Green Line between enforced and non-enforced parking is drawn.

Following is a column originally published here on May 19, 2011, and repeated in 2013. That's almost four years of ongoing failure. How much longer before we undertake to resolve the parking issues downtown?

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The sweeping of municipal dysfunction is prohibited. That's the ordinance we actually enforce.

Yesterday was Wednesday, and Wednesday is street sweeping day on our side of the block.

A police operative customarily follows the street sweeper, because cars are not supposed to be parked on the street, where they obstruct the sweeper’s solemn duty to transfer rubbish from the curb into the center of the bicycle lane.

Recently, with the stated intent of promoting businesses (like my own) and sparing shoppers, diners and shop employees the hassle of thinking about where they park, City Hall publicly announced a moratorium on the enforcement of parking regulations “downtown.”

To my knowledge, downtown as a geographical construct was never specifically defined in this enforcement suspension context. My household is in Midtown, while Vincennes Street, only a few blocks away, now calls itself Uptown.

However, Develop New Albany only recently indicated that in the organization’s eyes, a stated organizational mandate to deal exclusively with downtown issues does not preclude it from expanding operations outward, into areas previously not regarded as such, implying that suddenly, we’re all downtowners.

Meanwhile, our residence in Midtown shares a driveway with a dental office. There used to be a day care business next door, and a doctor’s office further down. Big Value is on one corner of the block, opposite an ad agency office. On another corner, there is a funeral home, facing a fire and water damage repair shop.

That’s a fair number of businesses for a residential block -- and I’m not even counting meth labs.

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Yesterday, although I knew the street sweeper was coming, I left my car parked on the street. I wanted to see what would happen.

Leaving the usual pathway of uncollected dirt in its wake, the sweeper swerved to avoid my car, and the police functionary promptly ticketed me. Moments later, I climbed into the car and drove to my meeting, westbound on Spring Street, where I caught up to the sweeper and the tailing police officer.

Other parked cars were obstructing the sweeper’s progress, but they were not ticketed, presumably because an invisible line of demarcation had been passed, and the weekly shifting of muck and butts from curb to street was occurring within the “downtown” area, where the moratorium of non-enforcement was in effect to promote businesses ... that's right, businesses just like the ones on my block, where the rules against sweeper obstruction are being enforced, or at the very least, where tickets are being written, whether not there is any intent to collect the fines.

I got the ticket, and I’ll pay the fine.

The question: Why should I?

When there is a stated policy of non-enforcement within areas that are only vaguely defined, what is the rationale for enforcement elsewhere?

Anywhere?

If the rationale for non-enforcement downtown (whatever that really means) is the proximity of businesses, shouldn’t that rationale apply throughout the city?

If downtowners who have serially refused to pay their parking fines for decades announce their evasive intentions on local television, and are not prosecuted immediately, why should I feel any obligation whatsoever to drop my twenty-spot in the slot?

Yet, I do. It’s something in my upbringing. Granted, that’s twenty fewer clams to be deposited with local businesses downtown, but heck, I just consider it a token of my esteem for a New Albanian process so random, convoluted and inexplicable that it nostalgically reminds me of the feudal nonsense prevalent in Old Albania.

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Neighborhoods lying in, outside or near downtown, depending on today’s variable definition of downtown, historically have served as laboratories for non-enforcement of a different variety.

Slumlord empowerment blocs and the occasional derelict private dwelling have freely ignored basic codes pertaining to building appearance, sanitation and safety, and pretend-leaders like the soon-to-be-mercifully-retired Steve Price have abetted the extractive shtick.

Nowadays, the city seem to be doing a slightly better job of it, although there always seems to be greater interest in the last resort of demolishing those properties allowed to deteriorate through previous non-enforcement regimes. Little time is devoted to filling the holes left behind, but then again, this is New Albany: One thing at a time, please, and you’d best give us five or six years to accomplish it.

Like basic exterior repairs. I’m continually amazed by prominent examples of neglect that go completely unaddressed. Almost every day, I walk or bike past Williams Plumbing* on the northeast corner of E. Spring and 9th. If I’m not mistaken, long ago it was Cora Shrader’s Shoppe, a nicely maintained corner property.

Now it is a scantily maintained, increasingly dilapidated eyesore used exclusively for what amounts to industrial storage. Extreme weather over a period of years has torn hunks of siding away from both sides of the house, exposing the wood. Worse, the company’s big trucks tend to be parked right on Spring Street, consistently impeding the view of motorists approaching southbound on 9th.

Do these trucks get ticketed when they block the street sweeper, or does the invisible, undefined, non-enforcement Green Line come into play?

Is it downtown or midtown?

Lowdown, or down low?

If there is ticketing, does Williams Plumbing pay the tickets?

Can a building crying out for code enforcement scrutiny be any more prominently located than this one, or do the code enforcers just shut their eyes two dozen times a day while driving past it?

If readers can answer any of these questions, they’ll enter a drawing for a $175,000, studio-sized condo overlooking the river … in downtown Tirana, Old Albania. Play your cards right, and the neighborhood Mullah might save you a parking space.


* Williams Plumbing finally repaired the exterior in 2012. The trucks continue to block sight lines at 9th and Spring. 

Squeals of arousal and delight resound across the 3rd council district as more of the city's history bites the dust.