ON THE AVENUES 3-PK, PART TWO: Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the city (still) with the hex (2014).

ON THE AVENUES 3-PK, PART TWO: Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the city (still) with the hex (2014).

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

Back in April, 2014, there was a precursor to the current unpleasantness. Doug England's bizarre plan to hand the mayor's office to Irv Stumler had ignominiously failed, and now Jeff Gahan was poised to interfere with Irv's municipal flowery ashtrays. There was a bad moon rising, and so most of us did the sensible thing and just stayed drunk.

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"You know what I think I'm going to do? I'm going to go home, have me a little nap, and then go on over to Thelma Lou's and watch a little TV. Yeah, I believe that's what I'll do. Home. A nap. Then over to Thelma Lou's for TV. Yep, that's the plan. Home. Little nap.”
-- Barney Fife (The Andy Griffith Show)

Absurdity describes a quality of harebrained preposterousness, and arguably, it is rooted in real-world empirical judgments. Surrealism embraces a more unearthly, dreamlike weirdness of the sort that emanates from Colorado now that marijuana is legal there.

So, was Tuesday afternoon in New Albany merely absurd, or did it ascend to the rarified level of surreal?

Or both?

To even begin making a determination, one must parse a few pansies. It was only a few weeks ago that volunteers under the aegis of Keep New Albany Clean and Green were out and about, tidying the flower planters placed in recent years by the organization on downtown street corners.

Full disclosure dictates personal honesty: I’ve had plenty of issues with the planters, even as I appreciate and respect the good intentions of the organization. In the first place, the planters have tended to look like (and be used as) ashtrays. Moreover, as an ambulatory adult who walks downtown on a daily basis, I’ve found it annoying to be forced to reach an arm’s length over the planters to click the street crossing button.

What’s more, it has been obvious to many (apart from Clean and Green itself), and for quite some time, that those among us most in need of a signal’s assistance in crossing New Albany’s almost entirely unregulated streets – namely those in wheelchairs, the handicapped, the elderly and children – were being more than merely inconvenienced by the positioning of the planters, at least some of which effectively blocked any reasonable ease of use.

I’ve mentioned it, both to Clean and Green and city officials, and have found little evident traction, generally being looked at (yet again) as a space alien, primarily because there isn’t a single member of either city government or Clean and Green who has even the slightest grasp of the theory and practice of walkability, and as one might expect, even fewer are willing to learn.

But I digress.

For weeks, and perhaps even months, Clean and Green has petitioned the Board of Public Works to grant it permission to place even more of these saucer-like planters downtown, and the board has continually dragged its feet, pleading for more time to amass the single item most often missing from the collective hard drives of city officials – namely, crucial information.

Apparently Tuesday was the time of denouement, during which the needed information abruptly materialized, and a conclusion finally was reached: Not only was Clean and Green precluded from expanding the planter program, but the planters currently in use would have to go, lock, stock and petunia.

Thus ensued a textbook illustration of the city’s innate, enduring, politicized dysfunction; with any semblance of compromise yanked inelegantly from the table, a Keystone Kops movie abruptly broke out, the city moving with uncommon, absurd and perhaps even surreal speed to remove the offending planters, while Clean and Green’s own volunteers were racing just as quickly to move their dirt bowls out of the way, or collect them altogether, before the other side got to them first.

That’s right. They’re adults … at least in a chronological sense.

Predictably, the city has since re-circled its wagons and imposed the usual embargo on clear rationales and public explanations, and of course, Clean and Green has taken to the Court of Facebook to decry the death of private-public partnerships – except in truth, the organization’s work has never been a public-private partnership in any coherent, readily transparent way.

Because that’s not the way we do things New Mayberry.

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Rather, the “partnership” dates (what slipshod stop-gap mechanism doesn’t?) from England Doug and Carl Ford Maalox’s calculated electoral jury-rigging in 2010/11, back when Irv Stumler was declared overnight to be Hizzoner’s anointed successor.

With the Urban Enterprise Association’s till set for emptying, Stumler’s Clean and Green would then function as a source of elder-think beautification monies that the dynamic duo couldn’t or wouldn’t find elsewhere.

Meanwhile, the current Gahan administration, which seems to believe (how would we ever know for sure?) that the only way to think outside a self-imposed economic development box and actually do something (anything) to incentivize entrepreneurial activities downtown is to convince the Horseshoe Foundation to give away millions of dollars for use in a county that rejected the casino – not once, but twice – has decided to seize upon the street corner planters to publicly humiliate Clean and Green, a prime mover of which is Jerry Finn … who has his hand on the Horseshoe spigot.

Talk about winning friends and influencing people … so why bother writing fiction when reality keeps handing you pre-written comic opera scripts?

In other cities, there are economic plans, creativity and empowerment. People read books, and parking ordinances are enforced uniformly. Vital improvements occur without deforestation, and farmers markets somehow operate successfully atop the asphalt of parking lots.

But in New Albany, we rerun old Andy Griffith episodes on imaginary Bicentennial Park drive-in screens, dating from the collective childhood of a leadership caste that imagines itself comfortably ensconced in Floyd’s familiarly comfy chair, with sideburns trimmed and tonic dutifully splashed, and as such, Deputy Fife said it best -- and he never even lived here.

All I'm saying is that there are some things beyond the ken of mortal man that shouldn't be tampered with. We don't know everything, Andy. There's plenty going on right now in the Twilight Zone that we don't know anything about and I think we ought to stay clear.

Jeff Speck has no idea what he’s gotten himself into, does he?

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September 29: ON THE AVENUES 3-PK, PART ONE: Chocolate covered frozen banana republic, or "understanding" Harvest Homecoming, our peculiar institution (2014).

September 22: ON THE AVENUES: On two-way streets, a modest proposal for the consideration of my disoriented one-way counterpart.

September 15: ON THE AVENUES Now for my next amazing conversion trick (KABOOM!!!) – look at those pretty windows on Schmitt Furniture.

September 8: ON THE AVENUES: It no longer keeps me waiting.

ON THE AVENUES: Weeds, porch appliances and our civic Gospel of Appearances.

ON THE AVENUES: Weeds, porch appliances and our civic Gospel of Appearances. 

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

The Confidentials bought an older house on Spring Street in 2003, and almost immediately we started meeting our new neighbors. Some of them, though by no means all, were active in community affairs.

This holds true today. Others have moved, or retreated from the fray. There is nothing unusual about any of this. At the time, my wife and I wanted to be involved, and so we began talking about neighborhood issues with the seemingly like-minded folks living nearby.

Early on, we noticed an emerging pattern when it came to judgments about the quality of urban life, in the sense that we’d entered a twilight zone governed by the Gospel of Appearances, as deemed no less important within the city’s historic core than at a suburban gated community.

If I've heard it uttered once, I heard it said a thousand times.

“They may be poor, but at least they can keep things tidy and looking nice.”

In other words, poverty is all about appearances, and the crux of “improvement” is the willingness of the impoverished to hone their skills at propriety, and to better understand their obligation not to offend better-heeled neighbors.

In short, we must focus on facades, and prim and proper exteriors, so that our city might finally amount to something. Of course, there is a place for such, just not as a substitute for how things actually work.

Admittedly, it took far too long for me to grasp the weird-headedness of the Gospel of Appearances, perhaps because my own rural/suburban, middle-class upbringing instilled similar attitudes that needed aggressive purging.

When my cognitive dissonance finally came bubbling to the surface, it commenced an unforgiving learning process. It continues to do so. I already knew that when facts change, one’s viewpoint must change with them. However, at times one must undergo a change in order to be able to see these facts.

They’re not always visible up front, on the surface.

In the years since our arrival, I’ve witnessed this obsession with outward appearance periodically boomerang back into our local discourse.

Still, even the proud sociologists among seem unwilling – perhaps unable – to embrace ideas to address anti-social conditions such as inequality at the grassroots level, or to analyze the prevailing economic system with a mind toward rendering it accountable, representative or sustainable.

Rather, it always comes back to those Disneyesque exteriors. If only it/they/those looked better. If only miscreants existing at the fringe of shared standards might become better actors, more willing to play their roles, and eager to conform to ephemeral propriety.

Can’t they at least try to look a little less unequal?

After all, we have our property values to think about … and yes, we read where two-way streets might help with property values … but, well, except … that’s fundamental, and probably beyond our collective comprehension, and no one wants to expend an extra five minutes driving through town when all they do in the first place is reference their own road rage on social media.

Walkability, schmalkability.

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The single most damning aspect of the Gospel of Appearances is the socio-economic status of the majority of those advocating it. Most often, they’re by no means the wealthiest members of the community, although they tend to be white, which means they’re certainly among the most privileged.

The rich ones rarely play this game. As defined by the possession of wealth, power and privilege, the upper crust is comfortable with a cynicism borne of detachment. In other words, there is nothing about an old fridge reposing on the porch of a rental property that threatens the position of a one-percenter, or stands in the way of his or her amassing even greater money and power.

Rather, those most fervently advocating programs to improve outward appearances are themselves located in what passes for a middle tier, light years removed socially and economically from the rarefied heights of the one-percenters, and always just a misfortune or three from slipping down the ladder into the untidily huddled masses below them.

Hence their annoyance with the visible disorderliness of the lower orders, and the eagerness with which they hector them, because they’ve managed to crawl a few yards ahead of the rabble, and intend to keep it this way.

What’s more, they’re forever willing to make soul-crushing alliances with traditional bastions of wealth, power and privilege, not so much because there is any genuine hope of upward advancement (itself largely a cultural myth), but to arrest the distasteful possibility of their own decline into non-manicured hopelessness.

The Gospel of Appearances grows increasingly shrill, and these visible yardsticks denoting boundaries take on byzantine complexity.

Socioeconomic realities? Dude, that’s just too many syllables, and no one really wants to dirty his hands. Tell you what, just get that fridge off your porch before we enact another symbolic, non-enforced ordinance.

After all, how many advocates of rental property reform care what happens inside the house?

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In a roundabout way, this brings me to the saga of Irv Stumler, his fiefdom (otherwise known as New Albany Clean and Green), and their unified appearance before the Board of Public Works and Safety on July 12.

To make a long story short, Stumler’s remarks on Tuesday were focused on two targets. He wanted the board to know that Bill Allen’s properties on the 200 block of East Main Street are dilapidated, disgraceful and potentially unsafe, and he offered to bring a group of volunteers down from the lofty heights of Silver Hills to mow vegetation growing from the medians further east on Main.

Whatever else we might say about the three members of the board, their hostility to Stumler was undisguised. Granted, board chairman Warren Nash did a better job of maintaining a partial poker face than Mickey Thompson and Cheryl Cotner-Bailey, both of whom openly snapped back at Mr. Clean Greens.

And no, Stumler cannot import his crew to weed-eat the median, because the city hires its own contractors to do it, and as an aside, isn’t this the real story?

Has the city mowed your verge lately?

Not that we’re judging.

In Stumler’s own words, he became aware of Bill Allen’s unsightly property while working to restore the original steeple on the Second Baptist (Town Clock) Church, which is Stumler’s second church steeple refit since 2008, when he spearheaded restoration work on St. Mary’s at the corner of 8th and Spring.

According to the Gospel of Appearances, blessed are those who help tax-exempt organizations maintain their properties. According to this logic, the city of New Albany received a boost in the quality of life when the two church spires were repaired, and yet, wouldn’t both these churches still be able to function spiritually without steeples?

Wasn’t the combined expense somewhere in the neighborhood of $750,000 of someone else’s money?

Might the money have been invested in other ways, so as to lift humans, and not spires?

Speaking personally, I’ve no problem in both these instances accepting the argument from the utility of historic preservation. Furthermore, I support the notion that the greenest building is the one already standing, and urge building rehabilitation whenever possible.

And yet metaphors matter.

Stumler once fought the Great Flowerpot War with city officials, competing to place the greatest number of beautiful ashtray-shaped urns at sidewalk corners, so as to block pedestrian access adjacent to high-speed, truck-choked one-way streets that Stumler fights like a banshee to keep exactly as they are.

Why always flowers, and never fundamentals?

Isn’t it true that when the infrastructure remains flawed, and ours certainly does, these steeples, flowerpots and “welcome to our city” signs are nothing more than blotches of lipstick on an aggregation of soiled and muddy pigs?

When Irv Stumler, the foremost exponent of the Gospel of Appearances, can see clearly enough that Bill Allen’s coat of paint back in 2012 was an evasion of responsibility for maintenance fundamentals expected of him, but cannot grasp that his own standards of imposed beautification parallel the futility of Allen’s bizarre whitewashing, especially when decreed to occur in the middle of a city where Padgett’s trucks shouldn’t be traversing in the first place, then it’s no longer a case of praiseworthy public service, as Dale Moss would have you believe.

It’s just sad.

Incredibly, indelibly sad.

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July 7: ON THE AVENUES: You say you want a resolution?

June 30: ON THE AVENUES: Irv Stumler screams, "We don't deserve two-way streets!"

June 23: ON THE AVENUES: There's no business like no business -- and it's none of your business.

June 16: ON THE AVENUES: When the engineer uttered that scandalous word aloud, it was like Christmas in June.

June 9: ON THE AVENUES: High atop Summit Springs with friends (and relatives) in low places.

Chronicles of New Gahania, demolitions (s)edition: Tear it down! Or, appearances versus fundamental reality.

What's interesting to me about Brexit was the horizontal split in the UK's major vertical political silos.

Among both Tories and Labour, there were "leave" and "remain" factions. There may be a parallel phenomenon in America, in the anti-establishment (nodding to Bob Caesar here) candidacies of Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump.

It's too deep and broad a topic for today, and I mention these developments only as a segue into an observation about life in New Gahania, wherein we find a common view shared by seemingly disparate elements.

This view is the absolute imperative that things must LOOK better, rather than be made to WORK better, or to BE better in any fundamental way.

One of the foremost proponents of this philosophy of the Potemkin facade is Irv Stumler, who created New Albany Clean and Green as a sort of political action-meets-landscaping committee, such that every street corner in town must resemble a well-manicured, idealized manifestation of suburbia, even as one-way traffic roars past it, negating every conceivable benefit from the planting of flowers.

Apart from deeding the city to Padgett, Inc., one of Stumler's many other recent jihads is urging the demolition of derelict houses, which aligns him with folks like Greg Phipps who inhabit spaces across the aisle.

Again, the objective isn't safety; if it was, Stumler would advocate for ways for helping humans find affordable housing and living wages (does Phipps do even that?)

Rather, the aim is to make this place LOOK better, so that people speeding past while texting will know that New Gahania boasts the right kind of propriety.

And the odd part is that Phipps is in agreement with tearing things down and creating vacant lots, absent the sort of principled advocacy (sustainability and the greenest house we have is the one already standing) he'd undertake elsewhere.

It's very strange, this social justice as flower urn. Then again, so is the theory and practice of New Gahania.

Irv at BOW -- and by the way, work on Spring Street between Vincennes and Beharrell begins on Monday, July 11.

Give me fried chicken, and stop with the top-down beautification propaganda -- both of you.

The single most relevant element that no one at all -- Jeff, Letty, Irv -- seems to understand is that the elusive "wow" factor comes when the excitement bubbles up from the grassroots as populated by dozens of diverse points of view, rather than being dictated from above, whether "above" means one official city group or another temporary collection of volunteers.

Can we be reality-based for just a moment? The planters in question simply cannot be described as "cosmopolitan" without the use of hallucinogenic chemicals, ever -- and my saying so doesn't imply I agree with their removal, only that offering us yet another two-party "solution" makes a strong case for vacating town, not volunteering.

(The independent mayoral campaign platform writes itself)

The problem here goes way beyond Dale Moss's dogged analysis. It remains a case of either this or that; City Hall vs. Clean and Green in a struggle over which elitists decide what "cleaner" and "prettier" and "attractive" mean. Meanwhile, the city's unforgivably obtuse and dysfunctional infrastructure pushes right back to make everything nastier, 24 hours each day, negating well-meaning efforts even if we agreed on the definition of well-meaning.

Fix the damn streets first -- then argue about flowers afterward. Until the infrastructure is made right, this entire argument is a waste of newsprint and time.

MOSS: A plea for ‘green peace’, by Dale Moss (Ad Express & Daily Iowegian)

Two groups commit to making New Albany cleaner and prettier. Beats having none, for sure.

One group would be better.

That way, everything is shared, not split. There’s only cooperation, not competition. One vision, one budget and one set of volunteers ready to work up a sweat better leads to the one ideal.

I count on a merger/peace treaty/meeting of the dueling green thumbs. Please.

If properly directed, territorial pissing might serve to fertilize the plants.

Three weeks ago, I devoted a column to this very topic.

ON THE AVENUES: Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the city with the hex.

 ... Thus ensued a textbook illustration of the city’s innate, enduring, politicized dysfunction; with any semblance of compromise yanked inelegantly from the table, a Keystone Kops movie broke out, the city moving with uncommon, absurd and perhaps even surreal speed to remove the offending planters, while Clean and Green’s own volunteers were racing just as quickly to move their dirt bowls out of the way, or collect them altogether, before the other side got to them first.

That’s right. They’re adults … at least in a chronological sense.

Before we turn to the newspaper's coverage, consider this.

Both Clean and Green and the city of New Albany want to beautify New Albany. However, consensus on the meaning of the word "beautification" is non-existent, and there exists no plan or template to achieve it. Might this absence of a mission statement be the basic reason for the disagreement?

Perhaps if there were a summit of sorts -- a public open house or meeting, no less -- of interested parties, there might emerge a basic plan, to which responsibilities could be assigned, and rowing in the same direction of beautification actually facilitated.

It's what I'd do if I were mayor.

Or does this make way too much sense for New Albany?

A MAKEOVER OR A TAKEOVER? New Albany Clean and Green, mayor butt heads ... Beautification group says it wants to improve city; mayor says rules must be followed, by Daniel Suddeath (N and T)

NEW ALBANY — Keep New Albany Clean and Green was established with the goal of beautifying the city, but the organization has spent much of its time weeding through issues with the city’s administration.

From disagreements over planters to a stop-work order on the rehabilitation of Town Clock Church, Mayor Jeff Gahan’s administration and the New Albany Board of Public Works and Safety have had more than a round or two of sparring with the organization.

Spring & Beharrell: Yes, it's something, but it needs to be part of something much more.

The Courier-Journal's Grace Schneider provides an overview of "beautification" work now commencing on East Spring Street, where the street enters New Albany by Silver Creek. The reporter's key paragraphs are here:

Although no changes are planned for the configuration of the intersection, New Albany officials have said they wanted to find a way to recast an unattractive entrance while slowing westbound motorists crossing the Clark-Floyd county line.

The road transitions from a divided four-lane highway to an urban street.

If you ask me (and remember, you're fully entitled to my opinion), too much of this project's conceptual basis constitutes dancing the jig to Clean and Green's Band-Aid-strength beautification tune rather than achieving what really is needed: (A) The slowing of traffic in a lamentable high speed danger zone, as mentioned above, and (B) reconnecting the split halves of Beharrell Avenue as part of a comprehensive rethink of Spring Street between Beharrell and Silver (think: street calming and landscaping and walkability), which would itself meet the aim of slowing traffic while ALSO making a start in restoring a neighborhood sliced in two for decades.

Alien ashtray invasion feared as Clean & Green returns to Board of Works.

The Green Mouse reports that Keep New Albany Clean & Green's Irv Stumler will attend today's Board of Public Works meeting seeking approval for 20-40 additional symptom abatement Band-Aids ... er, make that "planters," in the downtown area.

For those contemplating attendance, or to inquire as to why some of the upcoming $19 million bond windfall cannot be devoted to  a handful of standard $430 trash receptacles, the board's weekly meeting will be held at that ever-convenient hour of 10:00 a.m.

Apparently some "quality of life" issues outrank others. Just carry a garbage bag with you when visiting the aquatic center, and be sure to drive.

In a single block on Vincennes Street, between Market and Spring, there are four trash cans for public use.

Anyone know why, or when they were purchased?

A fifth is in front of the Rally's, and sometimes it's even emptied, although the one shown above on the left side of the street has been crammed full of garbage for weeks.

By contrast, from Vincennes Street down Spring to State, an expanse of 16 blocks, there are three trash cans counting the one by Rally's. All three are on the north side of the street. I wrote about this in December: Random 2013 Platform Goals 3: Clean is the new Green.

Here's an idea for the future: Garbage cans. Like football's John Madden, I've diagrammed it so clearly that even Dave Matthews might grasp the utter simplicity.

Since then, I have received a prospectus of sorts from Jerry Finn of New Albany Clean and Green. He divulges that the cost of these receptacles is $430 each, and his sensible plan for placement downtown calls for 20 to be purchased. That's $8,600. It is a sum that Clean and Green proposes to raise, given that apparently the city has no interest in doing so; the organization asks for suggestions, and I'm thinking about ways to help.

In other news ...

During a work session Tuesday, the New Albany City Council will discuss a bond issue backed by Mayor Jeff Gahan that would foot the construction of an aquatic center, baseball park and soccer fields.

It will give the council the opportunity to discuss the up to $19.6 million bond note for the first time in public ...

... The administration decided to include the projects into one bond note, citing a need to move forward with the projects in order to offer more recreational facilities to residents. (Scott) Blair said the aquatic center, baseball park and soccer fields could lead to neighborhood revitalization and spark economic development in New Albany. Remaining proceeds from the bond issue could be used for a renovation of the downtown New Albany Farmers Market structure, as specified by the redevelopment commission.

A cool $19 million for "organized" youth recreation, but nothing to enable the safe practice of the simplest recreation of all, walking?

Quality of life as defined by modern facilities, while there's no organized system of trash cans on city streets and no sense of how assisting cleanliness might also constitute an economic development issue?

And so, my question is this: Why are we considering a $19 million expenditure for   recreational facilities, and outsourcing $8,600 in trash cans to someone else?

It's another Urban Fusion Community Gardens update.

Jerry Finn provides another Urban Fusion Community Garden update.

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Greetings!

If anyone has a little extra time on Saturday morning, February 9th, 10:00 AM, we plan to fill the cedar boxes with the topsoil & compost mixture. We are very grateful to Dan Christiani Company for their donation of the garden soil. They have been very helpful. If you know anyone who works there, tell them thanks if you see them.

We will have a tractor with a front loader to help fill the boxes along the edges of the lot on the 9th. We will also have several wheelbarrows on sight to be filled and then taken to the boxes the tractor cannot reach. If you are able to come help, your support would be most welcome. Please bring shovels if you have one. Please let me know if you think you can help that morning.

We still have several garden boxes available, so if you are interested, please let me know. I am very excited that Mallery Waters is considering the role of Urban Fusion Community Gardens Coordinator. She will be a good resource for the group. I think you will be hearing from her soon!

And speaking of resources, I am attaching a few items from the Purdue Extension and the Master Gardeners.

We are very excited to be a resource for another community garden to be available this spring in the MidTown neighborhood. St. John’s Presbyterian Church will administer this exciting project. More news as the project develops!

As I mentioned before, our Citywide Spring Beautification date is April 27th, and the fall date is November 16th, so please mark your calendar and help if you can. We are also having a Scribner Gardens and Downtown spring cleanup to cut back the grasses and roses on Saturday March 9th. We would love to have you join us then as well. Pass the word to interested groups, Neighborhood Associations, Scouts, etc.

And for those who have not heard, my niece and nephew, Michele and Jeremy Finn added an adorable son to their family several weeks ago. All are doing fine!

Thanks for your excitement for community gardening!

Jerry

Jerry K. Finn
Vice President

Keep New Albany Clean and Green, Inc.
PO Box 574
New Albany, IN 47150

www.NACleanandGreen.org

Update: Urban Fusion Community Garden.

When last we heard news from the Urban Fusion Community Garden, it was May of 2012.

"I will be returning to work at this site when it has been made safe for children."

In short, the 707 site was kicked back over to Keep New Albany Clean and Green and Landmarks, and now Jerry Finn tells us what will be happening next.


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Urban Fusion Community Garden

Greetings, Friends!

I wanted to give you a quick update on the plans for the Urban Fusion Community Gardens at 707 Culbertson Avenue in New Albany. The cedar planting boxes have been built and installed. They look great. We hope to have the soil/compost mixture delivered by the end of the month. Next job will be to get the boxes filled with soil and ready for your planting. It won’t be too far out that cold crops can be planted!

The Board of Directors of Keep New Albany Clean and Green will meet on the 4th Friday of January. We will put together a process for people to reserve garden boxes. If you are interested, please send me your name, phone, and e-mail. I will have more details for you after the board meeting.

This past weekend, I was harvesting turnips, broccoli, kale, spinach, beets and onions out of my garden at home. It reminded me how important a garden can be for fresh, healthy food. If anyone is interested in being the lead person on this initiative, please let me know. That would be incredibly helpful.

Also, our Citywide Spring Beautification date is April 27th, so please mark your calendar and help if you can. Pass the word to interested groups, Neighborhood Associations, Scouts, etc.

Michele Finn is very close to her due date for her baby, so send good thoughts her way. Here are some of her favorite seed catalogs to get you thinking about spring planting! Sure to get the ideas for a garden plot in motion! :)

http://rareseeds.com/

http://www.johnnyseeds.com/

http://www.seedsofchange.com/

Thanks so much for helping make this a reality. A special thanks to all those who donated money for the purchase of materials for the raised beds.

Random 2013 Platform Goals 4: Incentivize diverse grassroots design, not top-down beige-think.

Roughly a thousand years ago at NAC, we started talking about measures aimed at making New Albany a more appealing place to live, both for those already residing here, and for others who might choose to relocate.

Of course, the very first task required of us was to disregard the nattering nabobs of naysaying, those lifelong local residents convinced that since they, themselves, have been congenitally incapable of accomplishment and unable to articulate substantive differences, no one else should be permitted to try to do so, either.

Ideas we’ve floated have ranged from a political culture capable of grasping basic scientific principles, to taking seriously the city’s own rules that pertain to human habitation. They’ve included notions like complete streets and clear structural support for bikes and walkers, public art and the insanely simple suggestion that having garbage cans available to receive trash just might keep some of it off the street.

What I’ve come back to repeating over and over during recent years is whether any active measures pertaining to a contemporary aesthetic, i.e., the nature or art, or designs for public spaces, can be entrusted to anyone who already is convinced that he or she is a community pillar.

Quite clearly, the answer has been no, because from the discredited plan for River View to Caesar’s Folly (Rent Boy Park, et al), we’ve seen a stunning absence of creativity among those with post-war childhoods. White bread might be ideal to construct a PBJ for a five-year-old, but it has no place in community space.

For instance, consider New Albany Clean & Green’s plan to place identical planters on multiple downtown street corners, and then, having imposed a specific design blueprint like this on the varied downtown streetscape, turn next to business owners and mercilessly hector them to help maintain placements they had no say in designing.

As we’ve asked again and again: Why must things like this always be applied top-down by folks who otherwise claim to support individual initiative?

Wouldn’t it make more sense to consider a proven and successful idea like the Urban Enterprise Association’s façade grant program and apply its 50/50 principle to beautification?

Why not let businesses come up with their own plan for flowers, trees, planters or other “green” applications, and have Clean and Green coordinate a bundle of grants to help with costs? Wouldn’t this allow for more individualized design flair, and also provide the businesses with an incentive to maintain their own placements?

Arguably the most successful act of downtown revitalization to date was the city council’s enactment in 2006 of the riverfront development area, enabling a less restrictive regime of state alcoholic beverage permits, and resulting in a diverse downtown “food and drink court” of international flair, which in turn has provided impetus for building restorations and hundreds of visitors more than before.

Note that this measure appealed to entrepreneurial self-interest and provided a solid reason to invest without once stipulating which beers were to be poured or the type fish destined for frying. The same principle might be leveraged to promote more retail, loft housing, public art and … yes … even beautification.

The key? It’s prying design considerations from the leaden hand of the “father knows best,” beige-rules crowd.

Anyone with ideas about how to do that? Let us know. It’s actually rather important.

Random 2013 Platform Goals 3: Clean is the new Green.

Here's an idea for the future: Garbage cans. Like football's John Madden, I've diagrammed it so clearly that even Dave Matthews might grasp the utter simplicity.

So long as the city is packed to the brim with serial litterers, it just might make sense to strive for a reduction in trash by giving all of us cleaner sorts a few places to put the fast food containers when we're out walking and see them on the ground, although perhaps the first task is to convince the remainder of the populace that there is such a thing as walking.

Now, I'm purposefully lobbing this in the direction of Keep New Albany Clean and Green, apparently now a semi-official arm of local government, one making it possible for exurbanites to wag their fingers at the wretched urban folks -- you know, the White Countian's Burden.

KNAC&G seems enamored of beautifying prevailing symptoms rather than treating the disease, which is fine, but while periodic mass clean-ups are wonderful and necessary, wouldn't it be more meaningful to at least try and direct some of the garbage into receptacles before it hits the ground, or is deposited into those nice planters on selected street corners?

For that, we'll need trash receptacles, of which there are far too few downtown. They may need emptying every now and then, too, if that's not asking too much.

Maybe such a preventative clean-up crusade would be a better way of hectoring the Board of Works on a weekly basis than strategic flower placement, but what do I know, except that if there had been a trash can nearby this morning, I'd have placed the Big Gulp in it.

Maybe that's just too much micro-thinking for New Albany, where we're as far North as the Deep South ever gets. If so, I'm sure the linoleum lizards will let me know.

Aliens resting in formation invade downtown, prompting emboldened and adaptive reuse.

In the next episode of "How to Treat Symptoms," we learn that winter kale and pansies divert our attention from windowless buildings and unwanted bridge tolls.

And so, the cups have arrived -- but Kenneth, where are the saucers? Elton saw 'em, presumably near the casino ...

Nash on making good decisions: Can he locate any to analyze?

I'm sure Matt appreciates that since my newspaper column was Lucy van Pelted by management following an abortive council run in 2011, he gets double the slagging from New Albany's nattering nabobs of troglodytery.

In this week's installment, Matt ponders decision-making. Excerpted (italics mine) is the part of the column addressing bridge tolls, a topic that New Albany's city council desperately wished we'd stop bringing up, especially since the body once standing in the forefront of opposition to tolling has decided it's more important to fluff local oligarchs than consider the interests of New Albanians.

As ever hoodwinked by his desperate need to be seen frolicking at the respectable adults' cafeteria table, Bob Caesar claims to grasp tolling's toll, but nonetheless suckles at Kerry Stemler's teat to advocate finishing something, anything, however monstrous, and in spite of how adverse or costly it is. Caesar is able and eager to "lead" by calculating future property taxes to the last digit in order to defeat a bid to redevelop a rotting building a block away from his shop, and cares not at all to do the math on the Ohio River Bridges Project's fifty-year drain.

Perhaps one reason for our legislative body's newfound timidity on bridge tolls is an unwillingness to reference the Horseshoe Foundation, which provides critical social service funding via potentially mutable grants, money that local politicians must obtain to avoid vexing themselves with leadership and thoughtfulness on taboo topics like revenue enhancement, and furthermore, is headed by Jerry Finn, who also sits on the Tolling (Bridges) Authority's board, and exerts even more non-elected influence on the life of the city by co-chairing Keep New Albany Clean & Green with failed Republican-turned-Democrat mayoral candidate Irv Stumler, who now uses the Board of Public Works as a convenient steno corps for taking flowerpot dictation, and noting finally that the Tolling Authority has vowed to keep the Sherman Minton Bridge, i.e., the direct route to Horseshoe, toll-free.

Whew! Someone get me Donald Sutherland, a park bench and a DC backdrop. At any rate, throw all these factors into the Random Connectivity Generator, give that wheel a mighty heave, and then head straight to the News and Tribune to read all about it. But don't stay there long, because the newspaper hasn't bothered.

Verily, those gleaming new trash bins in Jeffersonville are perfect for certain types of disposal.

NASH: Making good decisions

NEW ALBANY — This time of year there are parts of my life that seem to slow down to a snails pace while other things are moving as fast as ever. When the holidays are in full swing, sometimes it is hard to concentrate on one topic when writing a column. This week I discuss a few topics that have been in the news over the last few weeks ...

 ... Another big topic that I have followed for the last few years that seems to be taking off is the building of the two new bridges across the Ohio River. A few weeks ago a contractor was chosen to build each span. Also over the last few weeks the Clark-Floyd Counties Convention and Tourism Bureau along with the town of Clarksville and the city of Jeffersonville have each pledged $10,000 to fight the use of tolls to pay for the bridges on the Interstate-65 corridor. Their argument is that while an East End Bridge will lead to more economic development, the new downtown bridge does exactly the opposite.

One of the questions I have is why is there still no answer on the cost of the tolls? They know how much the bridges are going to cost. They have been studying the traffic for over a decade so they know how many cars are crossing the bridge. It seems to me that someone that has gone to college to study statistics should be able to give some estimate of what the cost of tolls would be by now. Why are the cost of tolls not being made public?

I seem to think that they are waiting until they get too far into the project to turn back and then will announce their final cost. I predict it will be closer to the original projection of $3 than 25 cents — a prediction that was announced before a New Albany City Council meeting a few years ago.

A year ago I wrote about tolls or the Ohio River Bridges Project. On the day that that column was published one of the members of the board that is overseeing the project sent me an email claiming there were seven inaccuracies in my column and he was willing to sit down and set the record straight. I agreed to meet him but he later withdrew when he realized that I would write about our conversation. I am still waiting for him to let me know what exactly those inaccuracies were.

Clean and Green: "Getting things clean, painted and planted appropriately will cut down on litter."

In part, my Thursday afternoon ON THE AVENUES rant was about littering, and so I was interested to see a post addressing the same topic at the Keep New Albany Clean and Green page on Facebook.

So, will the majority really follow suit ... or must is be cuffed periodically with a baseball bat?

"I will be returning to work at this site when it has been made safe for children."

After a few days of confusion, perhaps the urban garden craziness is getting clearer. Keep New Albany Clean & Greens's Jerry Finn had this to say in a note to NAC:

"Michele (Finn) was taking the lead on the Urban Fusion garden, but community gardens have been an initiative of Keep New Albany Clean and Green since it was first incorporated in April of 2011. We will move forward with community garden plans, and look forward to the day that Michele is able to get re-involved."

Michele herself speaks in this mailing to her urban gardening group, reiterating what she'd written in blog comments and on the newspaper's web site.

---

Hi Garden Gang,

If you haven't had a chance to read it yet, here is the link for the Tribune article.

http://newsandtribune.com/floydcounty/x915988550/Organizers-say-lead-contamination-won-t-hinder-community-garden-in-New-Albany

I didn't get a chance to speak with Daniel before the article ran. He had tried to contact me, I had tried to call him back. It didn't work out.

The lead content is at a level of est. 393 ppm. Not safe for pregnant women and children range is from 300-999.

From UMASS EXT office~

*If estimated lead totals are above 300 ppm, young children and pregnant women should avoid contact with the soil. Estimated levels of lead above 2000 ppm are considered a concern for all users and may represent a hazardous waste station.

So it's at a level safe for adults, just not expecting adults or children where brain development is still in the works.

Jerry and I have been working together and documents will be provided regarding the procedures used to make this site completely family friendly. I believe that we will see positive results. I will be returning to work at this site when it has been made safe for children.

Greg Sekula plans to use the Emery's building painting as an education tool for the public. He plans on teaching ways of testing for lead and how to remove toxic paint safely once it has been found.

We are still looking at other garden sites in conjunction with this site. If you have any other questions, fire away. There are bumps with all projects and this is one is no exception.

We would love even more community involvement with this project!

If you have questions for Jerry or Greg their addresses are

jfinn@horseshoefoundation.org
GSekula@indianalandmarks.org

Thank you for your support!

Remediation at 707 Culbertson: "Alluvial soil + 200 years of industry = polluted sludge."

Here is what I've gleaned from weekend conversations, as previously discussed here: Urban Fusion update: Soil remediation necessary at 707 Culbertson.

Apparently Michele Finn will be pulling the Urban Fusion Community garden from its projected home at 707 Culbertson and looking elsewhere for a site.

At the same time, Keep New Albany Clean and Green will proceed with remediation (leads, toxins) at the original site.

Last week, NAC reader Gina had an excellent comment on this remediation work, which is applicable whether Urban Fusion remains there or not.

I think this is a great opportunity to raise residents' consciousness about the alluvial soil we live on. It's the perfect Bicentennial project, too.

Q: How do you restore soil that has been contaminated by 200 years of industry to a quality that food could be produced from?

This is a real world challenge, one each of us who owns an urban yard should think about. Alluvial soil + 200 years of industry = polluted sludge, probably two feet thick under our feet. Yum! Do you want to eat tomatoes grown in arsenic and lead? There are also many strong electro-magnetic fields that affect gardens and trees in New Albany.

I say: Let's keep going with Fusion Garden at Culbertson, and have the Phase I part be about REMEDIATION of toxins. What great knowledge to spread; the whole city is a toxic waste dump. Our goal should be actual native life-forms in the Falling Run creek as we clean the upstream watershed.

We have been "abating" our property at Main & 7th for five years now, and we are just getting to wormy good soil, although I still won't eat out of it. But bees and birds and bunnies are back, and this is a good sign.

Again, I think the city has a challenge we shouldn't miss to show how far forward, over time, a city lot can go with the right organic processes.

We wouldn't want visitors to see the problems behind the Potemkin village.

Why this obsession with appearance, as opposed to genuine substance?

I can support beautification -- really, I can -- but can we also get Clean and Green's money, time and input into complete streets, two-way street conversions and traffic calming?

Wouldn't these measures impact the lives of residents in a way far greater than greeting signs? And isn't it supposed to be about the people living here?

New sign for New Albany's Spring Street entrance still in the works; City may request public input, Stumler said it’s time to get it done, by Daniel Suddeath (N and T)

NEW ALBANY — Sprucing up the gateway — at least the public portion of the segment — into New Albany from Clarksville via Spring Street has been on Irv Stumler’s mind for three years.

“It’s an awful way for people to make judgments of New Albany,” said Stumler, who is the president of the nonprofit Keep New Albany Clean and Green.

“We need to put on a better face for people who come into New Albany” ...

... The entrance into New Albany from Clarksville is a concern to the administration, but it’s public property so providing residents the opportunity to suggest ideas on upgrading it would only be fair instead of limiting it to one person or organization, Gahan said.

"Do something positive" by helping "Clean Up New Albany" on Saturday, April 28.

(Submitted ... I'd settle for cleaning up the ORBP)

Clean Up New Albany Event - April 28th - 8am - Noon

Beautiful spring weather provides the opportunity to beautify the City of New Albany! 

Come enjoy the outdoors and do something positive for your community Saturday, April 28th to help with the beautification of the City of New Albany.  Keep New Albany Clean and Green, in partnership with the City, Develop New Albany, and the Horseshoe Foundation of Floyd County is sponsoring a Citywide Clean-up and Planting Event from 8:00am- 12:00pm on Saturday, April 28th. Participants will help plant flowers, mulch, pull weeds, and assist in trash pickup throughout the city. Last year's event was a success with over 120 volunteers ranging from scout troops to individuals. This is a city wide event so help organize your friends, family, and club members to make this year's beautification even better than last.

Volunteers are asked to bring their own gloves, shovels, brooms, weed pullers, and other landscaping equipment. Mulch and garbage bags will be provided by Keep New Albany Clean and Green and Develop New Albany. A grant from the Horseshoe Foundation of Floyd County is providing the funds for flowers, plants, and mulch. Refreshments will be provided by MainSource Bank and volunteers should meet at the parking lot of MainSource Bank, 100 East Spring Street, anytime during event hours. Neighborhood organizations are invited to organize groups to focus on their neighborhood.  If you are interested in more information or having your club, civic group, or scout troop, please let us know in advance by calling 812-941-0018, 812-945-4332. 

Modern times: Cleanliness is next to non-governmental in filthy NA.

Keep New Albany Clean and Green's weekly appearance before the Board of Works is recounted.

The next step in clean: Group calls for New Albany, organizations to refurbish their signs, by Daniel Suddeath (Pop Ups 'R' Us)

NEW ALBANY — Keep New Albany Clean and Green organizer Irv Stumler congratulated the city for removing illegal signage from right-of-ways last week, but added it’s time to take beautification a step further.

Appearing before the New Albany Board of Public Works and Safety on Tuesday, Stumler said several organizational and municipal signs are in need of refurbishing.

“How can we expect private property owners to take care of their property if we don’t practice what we preach?” Stumler said ...

... Adding mulch, trimming weeds and other landscaping improvements will be made during the event. For more information, email Jerry Finn at jfinn@horseshoefoundation.org.