Happy Indigenous People's Day: Learn the truth about Christopher Columbus, or remain ignorant. The choice is yours.

View the entire comic at The Oatmeal.

I know that the discovery of the New World means a lot of different things to a lot of different cultures. I like the sound of Bartolomé Day. If you don't like that, call it Indigenous People's Day. Or perhaps Chris-Columbus-was-a-turd Day. I'd even settle for just calling it MONDAY. But please, oh please do not call it Columbus Day.

Gibson points to Duggins' letter as proof that Coffey had the OK for his harvest cash-coming car park. In other news, City Hall ethics are in critical condition.

Previously we were trying to determine whether anyone in a position of authority had given Dan Coffey explicit permission to use city property to park cars during Harvest Homecoming.

In a dramatic semi-literate letter to city council, former redevelopment bag man (David) Duggins accepts responsibility for Coffey's harvest cash-coming car park cronyism caper.

Prior to Duggins' conveniently timed revisionist history lesson, we'd asked interim redevelopment commission director and city attorney Shane Gibson, as well as the body's secretary Adam Dickey, whether any commission records exist testifying to official recognition of Coffey's antics.

Today the response came back.

---

Mr. Baylor:

In response to your email request dated November 29, 2017, please find attached the only document in the possession of the Commission/City regarding that matter.

Shane L. Gibson
Corporate Counsel
City of New Albany
311 Hauss Square, Rm. 316
New Albany, IN 47150
812-948-5333

---

Naturally, this document is Duggins' very same letter, as almost certainly commissioned by Gibson himself and brandished like a mutton javelin by Coffey at Monday's council meeting.

Pending coherent thoughts from Mayor Jeff Gahan, it seems that our inquiry is halted. Duggins said it was okay; he does as he pleases, conflict of interests be damned, and that's that.

Coffey's piling up the pork barrel winnings for the Knights of Columbus, who at a future time probably will regret the decision to allow a copperhead snake to be the face of the organization -- though not just yet.

City council has not ever censured Coffey, who in the past physically threatened a citizen and openly spouted anti-gay slurs. Of course, Duggins is Jeff Gahan's golden boy, one who could openly urinate on the city's Christmas tree and be promoted with a pay rise for his bladder relief.

In New Albany, in spite of the PR ballyhoo at their inception, neither human rights nor ethics commissions exist in any tangible, real-world way, and yet what we're witnessing here is the precise rationale for some semblance of the citizenry's recourse to ethical lapses. 

As it stands, Coffey wins yet again ... and the city loses.

Yet again ... and 2019 just can't come soon enough.

In a dramatic semi-literate letter to city council, former redevelopment bag man Duggins accepts responsibility for Coffey's harvest cash-coming car park cronyism caper.

At Monday evening's city council meeting during council pontification speaking time, councilman Dan Coffey produced a letter from David Duggins, now interim director of the New Albany Public Housing Demolition Authority, but formerly the redevelopment department's resident sluice operator.

The letter was intended to answer the question of how Coffey could use city-owned property for any reason -- his own enrichment or as a fundraiser of the Knights of Columbus -- without going through the usual channels for such requests.

In short, who gave Coffey permission?

Duggins explained, and before we go any further, just this: Thanks for reading NA Confidential.

---

It was brought to my attention that there was some concern raised, by a single local citizen, as to the use of the lot at the Southern end of Bank Street by the Knights of Columbus during the Harvest Homecoming in 2017. The KofC has used that lot for the past three seasons as a fundraiser for their many charitable events and projects in the New Albany area. When Redevelopment issued and RFP for the property Councilman Dan Coffey called me to ask if the lot would be available for their use again this year, in which I responded yes because no construction would have begun by the HHC, and to plan on using it. I also spoke to Matt Chalfant in passing knowing that he would be a proposal participant, to let him know I had given permission to use the lot to the KofC. He had no issue, and in fact we didn't believe at the time we would have even closed on property. I left Redevelopment as of July 1, 2017, and thought nothing more about this issue. Just like other non-for-profit entities, the City encourages them to use the city lots for additional parking for the highly successful Harvest Homecoming Festival. The KofC has been a driving force for charitable events and items since its beginnings here in New Albany. I am a proud member also, although I do not have the additional time to volunteer as many members do. I hope this clears up any questions or concerns that you may have had.

David C. Duggins Jr.

---

Let's take a few steps back.

On November 21, the News and Tribune's Chris Morris attended the Board of Public Works and Safety meeting.

Roger Baylor asked the board if it had given permission to the Knights of Columbus to sell parking spaces during Harvest Homecoming this year at the grassy lot near Underground Station on Bank Street. Board of Works President Warren Nash said the board did not give permission.

Dan Coffey, with the K of C and a city councilman, said the city’s permission was not needed since the lot was owned by local developer Matt Chalfant. But Chalfant said late Tuesday he did not take ownership of the lot until after the festival.

Coffey said the money raised purchased 55 Thanksgiving baskets this year for those in need.

Naturally, there has been no follow-up from the newspaper, and yet Morris's account is a good place to start. To wit, BOW knew nothing about it, and properly directed the question to the redevelopment commission.

Why?

Since redevelopment controls the State Street parking garage, and because (for example) Develop New Albany must ask redevelopment each year for permission to use the garage to park cars as a fundraiser during Harvest Homecoming, it's logical to assume that any other entity seeking to perform precisely the same function using any other redevelopment-controlled properties would need to follow the exact same procedure.

But consider the rationale of Coffey, a former redevelopment commission member who is fully aware of these expectations, when quizzed by Morris (paraphrased): I didn't need to ask anyone, because the property belongs to Matt Chalfant, not the city.

So, I asked Chalfant about Coffey's use of the lot, and the developer replied by e-mail:

No sorry I'm not familiar with this as I didn't own it during HHC.

Meanwhile, city council member David Barksdale now sits on the redevelopment commission, and he e-mailed this perspective to me:

Truthfully, I can not remember if a K of C request came up at the Redevelopment Commission meeting. It possibly could have. I do know the DNA request for the parking garage did. Shane Gibson would be the best person to ask, since he had already begun as interim director of the department.

Contrast this with a central point made by Duggins:

"Just like other non-for-profit entities, the City encourages them to use the city lots for additional parking for the highly successful Harvest Homecoming Festival."

That's correct -- but as Barksdale duly confirmed, even Develop New Albany and the "highly successful festival" itself aren't exempt from reporting to BOW and Redevelopment each year to obtain official permission for the use of city property, whether the use is for private or charitable gain.

Seriously, shouldn't the reasons for such protocols be obvious?

On-the-record transparency and a paper trail matter for more than one reason, although the biggest reason always suffices: responsibility for liability. When Coffey dismissed concerns of the property's use by referring to Chalfant, the councilman was saying, in effect, that the developer had his back with the necessary insurance.

But don't you think a savvy businessman like Chalfant would recall being involved in this decision, seeing as liability for injury and damages would be on him?

And, don't we still have a question outstanding as to the rumor that in 2017, the K of C paid cash to the owner of a car damaged while parked by Coffey on city property during Harvest Homecoming?

If the K of C were forthcoming with a detailed accounting of the parking operation, we might know -- but on Monday evening, Coffey spurned any such suggestion of transparency on the K of C's part.

Look closely at how Duggins spins Chalfant's place in this narrative.

I also spoke to Matt Chalfant in passing knowing that he would be a proposal participant, to let him know I had given permission to use the lot to the KofC. He had no issue, and in fact we didn't believe at the time we would have even closed on property.

According to Duggins, Chalfant was briefed and had no issues with Coffey's use of the property -- er, why would he care if he didn't yet own it? -- except for these two key words: "in passing."

With Coffey's parking project nowhere to be found in official records, and with Chalfant already stating publicly that he wasn't familiar with any of it, Duggins as yet insisted the developer was told "in passing."

At first glance this sounds as though Duggins might be accusing Chalfant of lying, except there's a way around this (purposeful?) insinuation (paraphrased): I sure did tell Matt, but maybe he didn't hear my passionate stage whispers amid the heavy trucks thundering past us on Main Street.

As of last Friday, December 1, I'd asked both Shane Gibson and Redevelopment Commission secretary Adam Dickey about this matter, and they promptly acknowledged receipt of the question, indicating there would be a reply within ten days. It probably isn't a coincidence that Duggins' letter suddenly materialized just in time for the Monday city council meeting.

As for Coffey, first he said permission wasn't required. Then, his assertions publicly contradicted by Chalfant, a nifty 180-degree turn became necessary (paraphrased): Who's Chalfant? Don't know him, but of course I asked for permission, and Duggins told me it was fine.

Cover from officialdom was needed, and we already know that in spite of the damage to the city's reputation done by Coffey -- he's the junkyard dog perpetually chewing up that nice parlor furniture -- Jeff Gahan's City Hall is forever eager to reimburse Coffey for his myriad shady services.

(You can imagine lawyer Gibson saying to Coffey, "This envelope makes us even, right?" Coffey nods affirmatively, and it's done ... until Coffey produces yet another misplaced invoice stamped Payment Due, queuing the theme music to "Mr. Haney Meets the Gang that Couldn't Keep the Stories Straight.") 

Consequently, the spectacularly over-compensated Duggins coincidentally stepped forward with an account of another in a seemingly endless series of good ol' boy transactions that cannot be proven or verified, just as the city has informed us that if it's an actual paper trail you're looking for, the Bicentennial Commission never even existed, either, because if there are no records, how can anything at all be verified?

We're now gifted with a new official version, which reads like Duggins composed it while in the limo bus with the Bud Light Lime and hired eye candy in route to Keeneland.

Duggins personally empowered Coffey's fundraising; it happened a long time ago; and for chrissakes, who could question the use of public property for such a worthy charity?

This single local citizen, for one. 

Why weren't other worthy charities in the city aware of the opportunity to support their projects and programs?

Is there something unique about the K of C's projects and programs that make it more worthy of consideration than others?

If the city's own favored charity, Develop New Albany, must ask permission each year to use public property during Harvest Homecoming, and to report its financial results back to the city, why shouldn't the K of C, too?

Shouldn't it have been the K of C formally requesting use of the Bank Street parking lot, and not a city councilman?

Facade grants, parking privileges ... how much is the K of C eligible to receive from City Hall that other similar charitable organizations aren't, or should other organizations hire Coffey on a rotating basis to facilitate pieces of the pie?

If Duggins is a proud member of the K of C, isn't it a blatant conflict of interest for him to personally push the organization's fundraising in the absence of customary protocol and procedure?

Or, is rule of law whatever Duggins, Coffey, Gibson and Gahan say it is at any given time?

In closing, don't forget who remains at the pinnacle of this ongoing municipal monetization pyramid scheme.

It's none other than Gahan, who certainly would do something about it if he cared to. Instead, ever more power and money are passing to those friends and associates of Gahan's who have appeared in this article, and who apparently are running amok on city time, which seems largely devoted to crass cronyism.

Just remember all this in 2019, please. We can do so much better than squalid.

For the record, my letter to redevelopment officials v.v. Dan Coffey's for-pay parking lot on city property during Harvest Homecoming.

I e-mailed this letter at 8:36 a.m. on Wednesday, November 29, 2017. For previous articles on the topic, go here: The Redevelopment Commission's meeting calendar has been scrubbed from the city's web site, but somehow, somewhere, they'll be asked about Coffey's pocket-lining parking project.

Like sand in the hourglass, so are the days of our lives ... in the absence of a newspaper.

---

To: Shane Gibson, interim Redevelopment director
To: Adam Dickey, Redevelopment Commission secretary

Good morning, gentlemen.

As has become widely known, during Harvest Homecoming the city-owned property at the foot of Bank Street was being used by the formerly Democratic councilman Dan Coffey to sell parking, supposedly on behalf of the Knights of Columbus (although the exact accounting of this remains unknown).

I’ve been trying to determine who granted Coffey permission to use city property for this purpose. Developer Matt Chalfant told me he had no contact with Coffey, and in any event, didn’t take possession of the property (presumably for his projected future construction) until after the festival.

The Board of Public Works and Safety publicly told me it was not approached and knows nothing. President Warren Nash suggested I ask Redevelopment.

Councilman David Barksdale told me he can’t remember it coming up at a Redevelopment Commission meeting, and observed that interim director Gibson might know.

I looked at posted minutes on redevelopment’s web site, and saw no mention. However, minutes for October have yet to be published (?), and I can find no calendar for the commission’s meeting dates, which (perhaps) have been changed from twice to once monthly?

I’m hoping one of you can shed some light on this. If the K of C actually received the bulk of the money for the cars being parked during Harvest Homecoming, that’s fine insofar as it goes, except there was no publicly stated process for determining which other worthy entities might undertake the effort. Not to mention the potential liability …

My question: Did the Redevelopment Commission, or someone on the city’s redevelopment staff, or one of you, or the mayor himself, issue explicit permission for Coffey to use public property for parking cars during Harvest Homecoming?

If yes, is there a record?

If no, then doesn’t this mean it was illegal, and if so, what does the city propose to do about it?

Thanks for your cooperation,

Roger

The Redevelopment Commission's meeting calendar has been scrubbed from the city's web site, but somehow, somewhere, they'll be asked about Coffey's pocket-lining parking project.

So, exactly who granted councilman Dan Coffey permission to operate a for-pay parking scam for four days during Harvest Homecoming on city-owned property?

Another question, this being whether Coffey dealt squarely with the Knights of Columbus when it came time to donate proceeds to the mother (father?) ship ... well, that's for the organization's management to answer. Until then, merely consider the public relations value of D. Coffey, restaurateur.

At any rate, we've ruled out both the Board of Public Works and Safety and developer Matt Chalfant. One member of the Redevelopment Commission says it never came up there, but as with BOW, it's best to broach the topic at a meeting to ensure it appears on the public record, and so I went to the city's web site to see when the next meeting will be held.

No results found.

Conversely, I might ask Redevelopment's secretary or the commission's interim director.

That's Democratic Party muzzler-in-chief Adam Dickey and City Hall's top-paid attorney Shane Gibson, respectively.

I'll reconnoiter the third floor on the second Tuesday in December, just in case -- and in spite of the probable non-cooperative reception, Dickey and Gibson also will be asked.

Here's the chronology to date.

SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Coffey is unabashed, and so the embarrassment belongs to the city -- again.

Unless the Redevelopment Commission or City Hall granted permission, Dan Coffey illegally parked cars on city property during Harvest Homecoming. Period. Censure, anyone?

ASK THE BORED: Maserati, Mussolini, Missoula -- whatever, so the Green Mouse is off to learn more about Dan Coffey's HH parking profits at the infamous grassy knoll.

UPDATE: BOW suggests it wasn't informed about councilman Dan Coffey's Harvest Homecoming parking profits at 32 Bank Street.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Did BOW give Dan Coffey permission to leverage city-owned ground during the Orange Occupation?

SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Coffey is unabashed, and so the embarrassment belongs to the city -- again.

"Psychopaths, and to a degree, sociopaths, show a lack of emotion, especially the social emotions, such as shame, guilt, and embarrassment."
-- William Hirstein, What Is A Psychopath?

There's an oft-repeated saying:

"It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission." 

Perhaps, although there's another, lesser known maxim about civic embarrassment:

"It takes a village to make a village idiot."

There are roughly 37,000 New Albanians.

How many of them would be able to get away with setting up shop to conduct cash business on city property without permission for four solid days, and evade repercussions?

I think you know the answer.

Here's the chronology.

Unless the Redevelopment Commission or City Hall granted permission, Dan Coffey illegally parked cars on city property during Harvest Homecoming. Period. Censure, anyone?

ASK THE BORED: Maserati, Mussolini, Missoula -- whatever, so the Green Mouse is off to learn more about Dan Coffey's HH parking profits at the infamous grassy knoll.

UPDATE: BOW suggests it wasn't informed about councilman Dan Coffey's Harvest Homecoming parking profits at 32 Bank Street.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Did BOW give Dan Coffey permission to leverage city-owned ground during the Orange Occupation?

Unless the Redevelopment Commission or City Hall granted permission, Dan Coffey illegally parked cars on city property during Harvest Homecoming. Period. Censure, anyone?

Previously:

ASK THE BORED: Maserati, Mussolini, Missoula -- whatever, so the Green Mouse is off to learn more about Dan Coffey's HH parking profits at the infamous grassy knoll.

In his coverage of this morning's Board of Public Works and Safety meeting, the News and Tribune's Chris Morris provides a recap and confirms what Matt Chalfant told me this afternoon.

• Roger Baylor asked the board if it had given permission to the Knights of Columbus to sell parking spaces during Harvest Homecoming this year at the grassy lot near Underground Station on Bank Street. Board of Works President Warren Nash said the board did not give permission.

Dan Coffey, with the K of C and a city councilman, said the city’s permission was not needed since the lot was owned by local developer Matt Chalfant. But Chalfant said late Tuesday he did not take ownership of the lot until after the festival.

Coffey said the money raised purchased 55 Thanksgiving baskets this year for those in need.

So, neither BOW nor Chalfant gave the okay.

It's possible the Redevelopment Commission authorized it, or even the mayor himself, though it's unlikely.

Coffey's wasting no time; he's already skipped ahead to the inevitable excuse: charging drivers to park their cars on city-owned property without permission may have been illegal and all, but it was for a good cause.

Of course, there are numerous good causes around town, probably none of which realized they might be able to raise money of their own by squatting on public property for the purpose of transacting business, when the parking spaces in question might have been deployed to alleviate the concerns of downtown business owners.

We await confirmation from Redevelopment, yea or nay. Even if permission wasn't given, someone might yet cover for Coffey if the councilman's political value to the regime is deemed sufficiently important to conjure a few little white lies.

But make no mistake: 100% charitable donations or not, if Coffey acted to circumvent channels and used city property to generate cash, censure by the city council is the very least we should expect from our presumed pillars.

In this eventuality, Coffey really should be prosecuted -- don't you think?

ASK THE BORED: Maserati, Mussolini, Missoula -- whatever, so the Green Mouse is off to learn more about Dan Coffey's HH parking profits at the infamous grassy knoll.

With any luck at all, we'll learn more this morning -- but tongues are wagging about a certain woman and her Maserati.

UPDATE: BOW suggests it wasn't informed about councilman Dan Coffey's Harvest Homecoming parking profits at 32 Bank Street.

Faced with an abominable two-week parking blackout owing to the presence of Fiesta Rides, many of the businesses asked both the city and Harvest Homecoming if there was additional parking elsewhere.

They were all told no, and yet right there in spitting distance was Coffey's personal Harvest Homecoming pocket-stuffing, electricity-bill-paying mechanism.

All along, the Green Mouse's informants have insisted that while Coffey never had permission from anyone to run a for-pay parking lot on city property during Harvest Homecoming, at least he donated most and maybe even all of the proceeds to the Knights of Columbus.

(The Green Mouse also was told not everyone at the K of C appreciates Coffey's recent annexation and personal branding of the organization, but that's their problem, isn't it?)

However, according to the latest series of juicy rumors, the K of C's profits were lessened considerably after an altercation during HH inside Coffey's grassy knoll parking lot between a woman's Maserati and a trash barrel. As this story goes, in the absence of permission or insurance, a settlement for the damage to the tune of a couple grand was reached -- with the money coming out of the K of C's cut.

Seeing as those types of "them people" in Italian luxury sports cars generally are the bane of Coffey's ward-heeling existence, it must have been a hilarious negotiation.

ON THE AVENUES: Love in the time of choleric Coffey, though it's nice of Deaf Gahan to support the K of C's political agenda.

ON THE AVENUES: Love in the time of choleric Coffey, though it's nice of Deaf Gahan to support the K of C's political agenda.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

Tonight there'll be a city council meeting, and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Never mind the bobble-heads, it's Non-Binding Resolutional Culture Wars Night, and the potential for legislative grandstanding approaches solar eclipse levels of suggested pre-meeting martini consumption, toward which I pledge my last full measure of devotion.

New Albany city council, this Thursday: "Resolution Expressing Solidarity with the People of Charlottesville, Virginia, and a Public Condemnation of Racism, White Supremacy, and Neo-Nazi Ideology in Our Community, the Nation and the World."

As we've seen, autonomous councilman-for-hire Dan "Total Eclipse of the Heart" Coffey -- who on occasions as widely scattered as Monday's coming solar event actually stoops to represent the 1st District -- is organizing his own celebration of ragpicker's diversity.

Dan Coffey plans his own unity rally, because why should those smarty pants Democrats have all the fun?

Bring your own hoods, folks. There'll be barbecued bologna and toadstool crepes ... but alas, I digress. Let's begin with this excerpt from last week's column:

ON THE AVENUES: Super Tuesday shrapnel – or, tiptoeing through the tulips with Dan Coffey, now THE face of historic preservation in New Albany.

Glorious Stated Aim #2: Give the Knights of Columbus (Main Street) a new façade.

Translation: … since Coffey is a tremendous backer of the K of C, he’s neutralized and back on the mayor's payroll, at least for the moment.

Meanwhile: Deaf Gahan is Catholic … and the Democratic Party has been holding gatherings in Catholic-affiliated venues since the long ago days when bona fide Democrats like FDR walked the earth ... and that pesky priest at St. Mary’s keeps breathing down Team Gahan’s tight collars about the original sin of the two-way streets conversion … so POOF; all dissonance disappears, just like that, and to such a pervasive extent that we now see Coffey taking pride of place in the mayor’s MTV video touting Super Cash Stuffed Envelope Tuesday.

That’s right, folks. By means of just a teensy tiny bit of façade cash awarded to an organization that maintains an anti-abortion monument out front, welcome to a gay-baiting, venom-spewing, ward-heeling councilman forever in service to the highest bidder becoming the poster child of historic preservation in New Albany … but Gahan isn’t finished yet.

Absolutely no one doubts that as an entity, the Knights of Columbus does charitable works. Last week on Super Tuesday, when Coffey shuffled humbly to the anchor-bedecked podium to accept his cash-stuffed envelope (psst -- the one intended to pay for the K of C's facade work comes much later), he made it a point to emphasize this fact.

With the Knights of Columbus, it'll give a better appearance in the neighborhood, but the Knights of Columbus also does an enormous amount of charity work.

More accurately stated, it'll give a better appearance to Dan Coffey, because if there is any one cardinal rule to fathoming the Byzantine intrigues, gleeful backstabbings and gold bullion transfers inherent in the bottomless cesspool of New Albany politics as usual, it is this:

Never, ever accept a Coffeyism at face value. It will contort your face, and annoy the Wizard.

With still more money hoisted from the Redevelopment Commission, and alongside valued institutional cover from Indiana Landmarks, Jeff Gahan has struck another of his trademark political stink-bomb deals, enabling Coffey's ongoing jihad against modernity by blithely ignoring the separation of church and state -- a concept Coffey openly derides, of course, but the sort of appeasement legerdemain that democratic Democrats (where?) condone at their own peril.

However, Gahan's never met a ward-heeler he wouldn't fluff, and that old bromide about non-profits refraining from involvement in the political process? Think again.

online.org/news/politics/knights-columbus-leader-says-catholics-cannot-vote-abortion-advocates">Knights of Columbus head says Catholics cannot vote for abortion advocates (National Catholic Reporter, August 2, 2016)

Carl Anderson, leader of the Knights of Columbus fraternal order and one of the most influential lay Catholics in the church, has said that abortion outweighs all other issues in the presidential campaign and Catholics cannot vote for a candidate who supports abortion rights.

Much more detail is to be found here.

How One Religious Organization Bankrolls America’s Social Conservative Movement, by Josh Israel (Think Progress)

... But while much of the Knights’ charitable efforts in recent years have supported purely altruistic causes such as the Special Olympics and Habitat for Humanity, millions of their charitable dollars have funded a very socially conservative ideological agenda: opposing abortion, LGBT rights, euthanasia, embryonic stem cell research, and pornography, while supporting public funding for religious organizations.

(While legally independent from the Catholic Church, the Knights of Columbus entities call themselves the church’s “strong right arm.”)

The Knights also operate a legally-separate but affiliated charitable arm called the Knights of Columbus Charities Inc. That tax-exempt non-profit organization made about 57 percent of its annual grants in 2013 to efforts to “promote matters affective life family, marriage and similar priorities in building a culture of life.” More than $1 million of that went to support “Crisis Pregnancy Centers,” a network of facilities that dissuade women from choosing to terminate their pregnancies, often by sharing misinformation.

Tonight's council meeting should be a fascinating test of New Gahanian dysfunction.

Under normal circumstances, forced to endure another effete expression of council support for people and ideas he loathes, Coffey would be spewing, fulminating and dropping an occasional sotto voce hint of imminent violent revenge against the gays, libtards and drunkists.

But Coffey's also enjoying the sweet tea-laced post-coital glow of yet again maneuvering Gahan into merrily compromising everything the Democratic Party should stand for by indulging the councilman's Generalissimo Francisco Franco fetish.

Gahan should have had the good sense to accompany his ill-considered largess with a temporary gag order, but of course, it was chronologically impossible to anticipate Charlottesville, which led to the solidarity resolution, and which gives Coffey a convenient "get out of handshake free" card to play this evening.

Perhaps Coffey will choose to avoid the meeting entirely, as he did on March 6, the last time such a threatening resolution occurred, after white supremacist handbills were duct-taped to local alley walls.

Seize the gesture and read the city council's non-binding "Resolution Condemning the Promotion of Intolerance."

Will the serial bigot Coffey support a resolution in support of human rights? Contractually, he'll have to vote yes if Gahan demands it. But does the mayor even care? Will Scott Blair abstain, citing his oft-stated principle of eschewing non-binding resolutions?

To paraphrase Chico Marx: "Coffey -- he-a no show up."

THE COMMON COUNCIL OF THE CIVIL CITY OF NEW ALBANY, INDIANA, HELD A REGULAR COUNCIL MEETING IN THE THIRD FLOOR ASSEMBLY ROOM OF THE CITY/COUNTY BUILDING ON MONDAY, MARCH 6, 2017 AT 7:00 P.M.

MEMBERS PRESENT: Council Members Mr. Caesar, Mr. Phipps, Mr. Nash, Mr. Blair, Mr. Aebersold, Mr. Barksdale, Dr. Knable and President McLaughlin. Mr. Coffey was not present.

In spite of it all, there remains a valid reason to commend Coffey for a certain consistency of action. The second cardinal rule of New Albanian political geography is that Coffey's always in it for himself; consequently, he might be the only politician in town who is consistent with his gestures.

He may be repugnant, and quite possibly horrendous, but he's not hypocritical.

There's something to be learned from this, but is it too early to start drinking?

Events got all topical on us, but next week I hope to return to "Mr. Duggins Goes to Bob Lane's Old Office and Mistakes the Bidet for the Toilet." 

Yesterday:

SHANE'S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: I'll match your customary gesture politics and raise you a spate of virtue signaling.

FLASHBACK: You say you want a resolution? Ya gotta take yer growth industries where ya find 'em.

---

Recent columns:

August 10: ON THE AVENUES: Super Tuesday shrapnel – or, tiptoeing through the tulips with Dan Coffey, now THE face of historic preservation in New Albany.

August 3: ON THE AVENUES: On the importance of being ancient.

July 27: ON THE AVENUES: Irish history with a musical chaser.

July 20: ON THE AVENUES DOUBLEHEADER (2): A book about Bunny Berigan, his life and times.

Speaking of diversionary facades: "The Anti-Gay, Anti-Choice Politics of The Knights of Columbus."

Yesterday we connected the dots. I did the writing while the Green Mouse sat nearby, drunk-tweeting in a self-confessional sort of way.

ON THE AVENUES: Super Tuesday shrapnel – or, tiptoeing through the tulips with Dan Coffey, now THE face of historic preservation in New Albany.

This week on Super Tuesday, (Mayor Deaf) Gahan stayed safe in the bunker, impassively tending to the consumption of a Chick fil-A sandwich as his minions announced one of the most efficient vote-buying hauls in the city’s long and dubious history.

It's painfully obvious to anyone with more than a passing interest in local affairs that ever since Dan Coffey announced his departure from the Democratic Party, every single day has been like Halloween for the Wizard of Westside.

No little kid in a second-hand Batman costume ever had so much crisply enveloped "candy" pressed into his grasping, grubby paw than our gay-baiting, venom-spewing man Dan.

January 10, 2016: Boilerplate aplenty as Coffey's defection arouses heroic words of meaninglessness from Democratic officials.

Coffey says he hasn't left the Democratic Party -- you see, it left him. Coffey now will team up with Scott "Banker" Blair to form an "independent" duo on the council, which means we're a city with Moe and Larry, desperately in search of Curly. Not to worry. There's a Curly on every street corner in New Albany.

On his Super Tuesday vote-buying shopping spree earlier this week, Gahan reached the mythic heights of Mt. Dull-ympus with his rehab trick and treat handout to Coffey.

Translation: … since Coffey is a tremendous backer of the K of C, he’s neutralized and back on the mayor's payroll, at least for the moment.

Meanwhile: Deaf Gahan is Catholic … and the Democratic Party has been holding gatherings in Catholic-affiliated venues since the long ago days when bona fide Democrats like FDR walked the earth ... and that pesky priest at St. Mary’s keeps breathing down Team Gahan’s tight collars about the original sin of the two-way streets conversion … so POOF; all dissonance disappears, just like that, and to such a pervasive extent that we now see Coffey taking pride of place in the mayor’s MTV video touting Super Cash Stuffed Envelope Tuesday.

Straight up: A coherent case can be made for both the Louis Hartman house and the Reisz Furniture Building as appropriate targets for Redevelopment Commission "historic preservation" expenditures, although as a local contractor told me, "I'd love it if someone gave me $750,000 to rehab a building."

(As a side note, remember those downtown "above and beyond" facade grants funded from Horseshoe Foundation monies? Applicants are asked to affirm that local contractors and labor will be used for these jobs, whereas there is no such stipulation in this latest "Scribner Fund" round of largess.)

The case for the Knights of Columbus benefiting from Deaf's eagerness to appease a dissolute grifter like Coffey is considerably shakier.

First, Elizabeth Beilman explains the proposed one-of-a-kind facade grant.

KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS

New Albany will fund $26,000 to restore the facade of the fraternal organization located in New Albany's Mansion Row Historic District, which is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

The city's money will complement about $100,000 in interior renovations the Knights of Columbus is fronting.

According to Barksdale, the same builder built the Knights of Columbus hall and the Louis Hartman House.

In essence, Redevelopment is paying Coffey to reward the Knights of Columbus for pursuing a political and social agenda that warms the cockles of the Wizard's shriveled heart. There'll be gratis microwaved toadstool sandwiches forever for the councilman whose shoulders Deaf just can't stop massaging.

The Anti-Gay, Anti-Choice Politics of The Knights of Columbus, by Bill Berkowitz (Truth-Out)

... Unbeknownst to many cookie or pancake enthusiasts, however, is the reality that a portion of the money – read that, millions of dollars -- raised by the Knights is being poured into anti-abortion and anti-same-sex marriage campaigns.

That is a side of the Knight of Columbus that is rarely reported on. According to a new report by Catholics for Choice, "The order has pushed a conservative agenda ranging from the highly specific—a complaint against highschoolers reading Catcher in the Rye—to systemic opposition to reproductive choice and marriage equality through sizable donations to programs run by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) and other conservative organizations."

If Team Gahan and Indiana Landmarks have any decency remaining in their institutional vaults after this week's mutual back-scratching marathon, the Knights of Columbus facade component will be removed from the Super Tuesday vote-buying bundle.

And by the way, the church's electronic sign is illegal.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: This new electronic sign at St. Mary's did not receive a COA from the New Albany Historic Preservation Commission (hint: it's illegal).

ON THE AVENUES: Super Tuesday shrapnel – or, tiptoeing through the tulips with Dan Coffey, now THE face of historic preservation in New Albany.

ON THE AVENUES: Super Tuesday shrapnel – or, tiptoeing through the tulips with Dan Coffey, now THE face of historic preservation in New Albany.

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor.

"Thank you for the dinner and a very pleasant evening. Have your car take me to the airport. Mr. Corleone is a man who insists on hearing bad news at once."
 -- Tom Hagen

Deaf Gahan has given the term Super Tuesday a fresh and innovative meaning.

Henceforth, I propose the second Tuesday of August to become a New Albany municipal holiday – a time for bargain vote-buying sprees, and maybe even the perfect occasion for the Meat Loaf Walk, superseding our previous choice of Election Day in November.

Gahan’s new and improved Super Tuesday reminded me of the original Godfather film, albeit without the gore. You’ll no doubt recall the ending of Francis Ford Coppola’s classic tale of Corleone family values. While Michael impassively attends the christening of his sister’s child …

Corleone assassins murder the other New York dons and Moe Greene. Tessio is executed for his treachery and Michael extracts Carlo’s confession to his complicity in setting up Sonny's murder for Barzini. A Corleone capo, Clemenza, garrotes Carlo with a wire. Connie accuses Michael of the murder, telling Kay that Michael ordered all the killings. Kay is relieved when Michael finally denies it, but, when the capos arrive, they address her husband as Don Corleone, and she watches as they close the door on her.

This week on Super Tuesday, Gahan stayed safe in the bunker, impassively tending to the consumption of a Chick fil-A sandwich as his minions announced one of the most efficient vote-buying hauls in the city’s long and dubious history.

For the amazing low price of $826,000 of someone else’s money (in this instance, one or the other of the Redevelopment Commission’s taxpayer-funded larders), and without any semblance of city council approval (the Board of Works soon will vote, but all three members were appointed by Gahan and exist primarily to rubber stamp Dear Leader’s directives), the following results have been achieved.

Glorious Stated Aim #1: The repair and restoration of the Louis Hartman House on State Street, known to us as the Baity Funeral Home, which was damaged by fire last winter.

Translation: Coupled with last year’s municipal contribution toward the restoration of the spire of the Town Clock Church – a significant Underground Railroad historic site as well as home to an active though shrinking religious congregation – the rebirth of Baity’s is meant as reassurance to the city’s African-American community: “Deaf wants you to know that his assault on public housing ain’t nuthin’ personal.”

Gahan will continue to pay lip service to the needs of this key Democratic voting bloc, while of course doing nothing of actual substance.

Meanwhile: With Indiana Landmarks in tow in this and the other two rehab ventures, Gahan will have pried IL from the competition (dastardly Jeffersonville), because IL will move its office to the restored Baity structure. Under normal circumstances, kowtowing in such a fashion to historic preservationists would ignite the fierce fire and fury of key Gahan ally Dan Coffey, but …

Glorious Stated Aim #2: Give the Knights of Columbus (Main Street) a new façade.

Translation: … since Coffey is a tremendous backer of the K of C, he’s neutralized and back on the mayor's payroll, at least for the moment.

Meanwhile: Deaf Gahan is Catholic … and the Democratic Party has been holding gatherings in Catholic-affiliated venues since the long ago days when bona fide Democrats like FDR walked the earth ... and that pesky priest at St. Mary’s keeps breathing down Team Gahan’s tight collars about the original sin of the two-way streets conversion … so POOF; all dissonance disappears, just like that, and to such a pervasive extent that we now see Coffey taking pride of place in the mayor’s MTV video touting Super Cash Stuffed Envelope Tuesday (below).

That’s right, folks. By means of just a teensy tiny bit of façade cash awarded to an organization that maintains an anti-abortion monument out front, welcome to a gay-baiting, venom-spewing, ward-heeling councilman forever in service to the highest bidder becoming the poster child of historic preservation in New Albany … but Gahan isn’t finished yet.

Glorious Stated Aim #3: The moribund Reisz Furniture Building is saved from neglect by the pillars of the business community who’ve sat on its deterioration for a quarter-century, with the Denton Floyd firm out of Louisville absorbing much of the rehab expense after enticements, City Hall undertaking a 25-year lease to move its offices there, and historic preservationists delighted at this providential turn of events.

Translation: City employees will have plush new digs, and consequently their loyalty to Dear Leader (and the votes of the employees and their families, going all the way back to the Democratic Party's always productive subterranean precinct at Fairview) is duly secured.

A Louisville contractor is used, so Gahan doesn’t have to deal with those demanding local builders who won’t vote Democratic, anyway – and so what if the bucks are going to Louisville construction workers? They went to Flaherty and Collins for the Break Wind Lofts at Duggins Flats, and no one uttered a peep – not even Coffey.

Meanwhile: Historic preservationists have sold their souls, trading any remaining independence and autonomy for a Hail Coffey touchdown, with Coffey, their perennial critic, being content to abide by his leash.

However:  The price of being co-opted is that if any piece of this puzzle fails to materialize, Gahan’s finger will be pointed at Indiana Landmarks and local historic preservationists, in precisely the same manner as the Board of Works when it tossed its grid modernization contractors under the dump truck after mistakes were made in the two-way buildout – and Coffey’s “tear that old shit down” snarl will circle back to the next relevant council meeting, initiating yet another cycle of finding ways to buy him off.

And yet, there’s even more.

At long last, secure in the reasonable expectation that the very best candidate the GOP can muster for mayor in 2019 is Deaf’s politically superannuated subdivision neighbor Mark Seabrook, the mayor has effectively Trumped and Lapped his hapless enemies in Floyd County government.

Seabrook & Co. will be stuck with an unspeakably dowdy 1960s-era Only the County Now Building, which might plausibly be a film set for one of those Commie spy dramas about East Germany during Reagan’s first term, though if Seabrook has a sense of humor, he might retaliate by mimicking the Stasi and turning the monstrosity into one massive jailhouse.

All aboard the re-election train, folks: African-Americans. Historic preservationists. Catholics. City employees. Develop New Albany’s forever fluffing auxiliary. Newspapers. Breitbart News Network devotees. There’s something here for each one of you, and only one caveat.

Don’t ask Deaf any questions. Take your number, sit quietly, and when you hear Shane Gibson’s voice on the loudspeaker, raise those color-coded signs.

Gibson’s no Tom Hagen, but he’ll do in a pinch.

As usual, the shame in all this is that the local media maintains such a similarly awestruck demeanor in the face of Deaf’s star power that it cannot ask even the simplest of follow-up questions.

And why do these questions matter?

When the minions get self-assured in the absence of scrutiny, throwing out those benumbing numbers – $826,000 here, a million-five there – all the while earnestly asking you to trust their math, it’s important to remember the sheer volume of what they keep hidden, both large and small.

Try asking the minions for the financials from Deaf’s signature River Run aquatic center (large), or the status of the Bicentennial coffee table books (small). Suddenly their blarney evaporates, and they can’t even decipher their own filing systems.

When politicians and their aides wish not to talk about a topic, isn’t this precisely the time when a newspaper should?

However, even more than the newspaper’s ongoing failure to make Deaf’s dome bead with sweat, it’s even more disappointing to me that David Duggins doesn’t appear on the mayor’s Reisz Vote-Buy Bonanza video at YouTube.

By the way, did you know that Gahan's feel-good video was directed by the same guy who did David Lee Roth’s seminal “Just a Gigolo"?

Given the now familiar stratagem of routing all big ticket projects through the all-appointed and sycophant-tested Redevelopment Commission, it’s obvious that this deal didn’t emerge on the morning of Super Tuesday.

Duggins’ envelope-strewn, back-alley, pump-priming paw prints are all over Super Tuesday, and yet there he is, dazed and marooned at the public housing demolition authority, unable to mug for the cameras and commission plaques to himself.

It just isn’t fair, but there isn’t time this week to understand why. Join us again next Thursday, as we learn why it’s going to be so hard to replace Dugout at Redevelopment.

---

Recent columns:

August 3: ON THE AVENUES: On the importance of being ancient.

July 27: ON THE AVENUES: Irish history with a musical chaser.

July 20: ON THE AVENUES DOUBLEHEADER (2): A book about Bunny Berigan, his life and times.

July 20: ON THE AVENUES DOUBLEHEADER (1): Listening to "Dixieland" jazz, and thinking about drinking a beer.

Reisz Vote Buy Bonanza: "The News and Tribune asked to interview Mayor Jeff Gahan and was instead referred to statements in a news release."

Even in his shining moment of triumphant megalomania, the mayor cannot be bothered to emerge from the bunker and face his adoring public.

He sends a video and a news release instead. And a repurposed Valentine's Day card, as grasped in the furry proffered hand of Dan Coffey, who until Tuesday afternoon was the city's foremost opponent of historic preservation.

Look like that conversion therapy works, after all.

Meanwhile, as the questions proliferate like the tortuous imagined narrative in Cappuccino's noggin, and the star-spangled Chronicles of New Gahania roll endlessly toward a bright and enriching future, reporter Beilman updates Super Tuesday.

Isn't Coffey being paid to be the Knights of Columbus janitor?

If David Barksdale is correct in asserting that the Reisz Furniture building might not have deteriorated so far if its owner would have been pro-active 15 to 20 years ago ... don't we routinely take absentee slumlords to task for the very same neglect?

Exactly which Redevelopment honey pot was dipped into?

Why was only one out-of-state contractor involved with the option, and did local contractors even have a chance to bid?

Might they have been more interested in the project had it been public knowledge that $750,000 would be given them to grease the skids?

Must we even guess which of the office in the renewed Reisz will have the best view of the toll-free (for now) Sherman Minton?

Don't the Knights of Columbus support political and social agendas quite apart from Coffey jihad against modernity?

Rinse and repeat, ad nauseam. Take it away, Elizabeth.

UPDATE: New Albany officials seek to rehabilitate Reisz Furniture building into new City Hall (N and T)

Proposed deal calls for $750,000 investment

NEW ALBANY — New Albany officials are planning to relocate city headquarters out of the government center shared with Floyd County and into its own city hall in an historic Main Street building.

The proposed move into the mid-19th century Reisz Furniture building may be its last hope for survival, as private development interest in rehabilitating the old structure has waned.

"It's probably the only project that would save the Reisz building," said New Albany City Councilman and Redevelopment Commissioner David Barksdale, who is also a local historian. "Fifteen, 20 years ago when it started that small decline, that would have been maybe when the private investor could have gotten involved, but I don't see anyone else stepping up right now and saving that building."

The announcement came along with funding commitments from the redevelopment commission to rehabilitate three historic buildings downtown, including Reisz Furniture.

1st Annual Taste & See at the K of C, October 19.

Elizabeth at Thomas Family Winery told us about this K of C wine tasting, and I think it's a great idea.

But permit just a gentle suggestion: Tell us a bit more about the wine available for sampling. I know from chatting with Elizabeth that Indiana wineries are being invited, but it's something that needs to be publicized, too. Will there be wines from other places, countries, states?

You can't have too much information. Good luck with the inaugural tasting, guys.