Toast on Market in New Albany is on hiatus until February 19.

The sidewalk's been uprooted in front of the New Albany location of Toast for quite a while. Finally it was put back into place, and now this. I don't know the details, and the primary reason I'm posting this is that there seems to be no information on-line about the temporary closing, and if knowing it saves someone a trip, it's a good thing. If this closure is Indiana American Water's doing, and such matters usually are in these parts, I renew my call for utility monopolies to be brought to heel. But for once, I'll refrain from referring to INAWC as rat bastards, although they quite simply are.

Photo of the week: Rat bastards at Indiana-American Water proffer blood money as disgusted populace looks on.

Bar none, my favorite photo of the year to date.

In it, the local representative of the utility monopoly known as Indiana-American Water Company presents two checks, one to the police department (for protection from the monopoly's numerous irate victims??) and the other to the bicentennial junta for an "old-timers baseball game" ... seriously, to the Coup d'Geriatrique, could there be any other kind? You weren't expecting a "future stars" game, I take it.

The money pictured above constitutes roughly 1/3 of the sales deprived from my company by the thieving, incompetent bastards at IN-AWC on that glorious spring day back in 2010, when the water monopoly's long-term and congenital neglect of its own infrastructure led to an enforced day-long shutdown of the Pizzeria and Public House on a Gravity Head Friday.

Recall also that last year, our city council was compelled to write legislation clearly requiring IN-AWC to repair the extensive damage it does to streets on a regular basis, destruction generally commenced only moments after the street in question has been repaved by the city for the very first time since the Carter Administration.

I repeat: NAC is in complete agreement with any elected official, unelected official, ordinary citizen or random footloose Chia pet who wishes to eliminate any and all loopholes permitting those unsupervised rat bastards at Indiana-American Water to run roughshod over taste, decency and recently paved streets. 

That's because you really can trust IN-AWC -- trust the water monopoly to screw you every single time.

May 11, 2012: Rat bastards at Indiana American Water are running amok.

May 10, 2012: Annals of destruction: Hurricanes, tornadoes and now Indiana American Water Company.

January 18, 2012: Indiana-American Water, utility monopolies, street despoiling and why Robespierre was right.

January 27, 2011: At home or at work, Indiana-American Water Company just doesn't give a damn. Hint: Few monopolies do.

March 5, 2010: No State Police poaching at the Pizzeria & Public House tonight, because IN-AWC learned "routine" in Pyongyang.

(Photo credit: City's Facebook page)

Rat bastards at Indiana American Water are running amok.

Before trying to piece together yesterday's most recent Indiana American Water farce yesterday, it is useful for readers to know that Thursdays and Fridays are very busy days for eateries, like the five such establishments located on the 100 block of East Market in New Albany.

These eateries had been informed that IN-AWC would be performing maintenance on water lines beginning on Thursday morning ... except that the Frenchman was not informed and had started cooking for the day. He was visited by the health department, which gently broke the news. Other establishments made provision to be closed and lose money, understanding that there could be a boil advisory extending past lunchtime on Friday.

The "work" started, but some time around noon, IN-AWC had elected to not continue with the announced work, presumably because it was discovered that a valve was damaged and inoperative.

Oops. Giggle. Sorry you went and got all closed up and s**t.

Of course, a similar occurrence didn't stop IN-AWC from pursuing its holy (hole-y) writ back in March 2010 on Plaza Drive, when it found a gnarly rusted valve, shrugged and snapped it clean anyway, cost NABC an entire Friday of Gravity Head business, and characterized the neglected valve as an act of God rather than an act of lazy human maintenance ... but I digress.

Now it is suggested that IN-AWC will come back to the task next week, hopefully on Monday with the advisory into Tuesday, which would cost the businesses far less in terms of lost business than another Thursday/Friday scheduling, which prompts a question: Why hit them on their busy days, anyway?

Answer: Because like all public utility monopolies, it isn't about the customers, is it? Indiana American Water raises unresponsiveness to unscaled heights of opaque responsibility-dodging, as when, in effect, the company classifies all episodes of disrupted service as acts of God, not man, and urges customers to have adequate insurance to cover the water company's own incompetence and outright negligence.

As trenches are cut across newly paved streets throughout the city and left unattended for weeks on end, is it too late to advocate IN-AWC's nationalization?  

Annals of destruction: Hurricanes, tornadoes and now Indiana American Water Company.

At least Toast and Quills were warned. When Indiana American screwed NABC out of 10K on a Friday in 2010, all we got was a vapid excuse about how valves so rusted they crumble to the touch are an act of God, not an act of inept maintenance. Here are a few more scenes documenting Indiana American Water's monopolistic, spin-the-wheel-from-afar determination to leave no freshly paved street unexcavated, spare no small business from disruption, and leave downtown resembling Tripoli for weeks at a time.

Flash: Around lunchtime, Quills tweeted that the shop would have to remain closed on Friday until 2:30 p.m. because of the post-havoc boil alert, but moments later, Quills tweeted again: The work would not be taking place, and they'll be open tomorrow, anyway: "The water co called & said, 'It's just not happening today.' No reason. Weird."

Indiana-American Water, utility monopolies, street despoiling and why Robespierre was right.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

NAC is in complete agreement with any elected official, unelected official, ordinary citizen or random footloose Chia pet who wishes to eliminate any and all loopholes permitting those unsupervised rat bastards at Indiana-American Water to run roughshod over taste, decency and recently paved streets. That's because you really can trust IN-AWC -- trust the water monopoly to screw you every single time.

Previously at NAC: At home or at work, Indiana-American Water Company just doesn't give a damn. Hint: Few monopolies do.

Having repeated this, I'm just curious: Why is the city's point man for housing initiatives speaking at the Board of Works about the water issue?

New Albany OKs street cut for Scribner; Council still considering changes to utility excavation program, by Daniel Suddeath at the Alabama Pensioner Pop-Up Paper.


Carl Malysz, director of community housing initiatives for the city, said administration officials conferred with Indiana American Water last week about the proposed changes. Malysz asked the board to OK the Scribner Drive project — which is expected to impact traffic from Main Street to Spring Street — but hold off on approval for three other street cuts the utility has requested.

That gladiator costume becomes him, and vice versa.

“I — Tiberius Severus Octavian Elagabalus Septimius Augustus Claudius Hadrian, the Protector of Pearl, Deliverer of all Downtown Datedness, Master of the Mercantile, and Guardian of the Gates – have embarked on a valiant campaign against the invading barbarian hordes, who would select local authors to write books, change the streets to accommodate humans and not their cars, and go tearing stuff up right during key business cycles … by the way, have I introduced you to my chambermaid? I appointed her, you know.”

It is encouraging that council person Bob Caesar’s interest in economic localism is growing by leaps and bounds. Readers will recall that in the summer of 2011, he took a keen interest in preserving his block-long Pearl Street fiefdom from the ravages of two-way traffic, imperiously thundering to an assembly of business people, “Pearl Street will NOT be two-way!”

Now he’s at it again. Just imagine if his concern for small, independent business might be extended beyond the padlocks on his own front door:

Councilman Bob Caesar — who owns J.O. Endris & Son Jewelers along Pearl Street — asked Thompson if the (Indiana American Water) project was scheduled to start before Feb. 14, which is Valentine’s Day.


Caesar said the permit shouldn’t be approved before Feb. 14, and while Thompson was still at the podium, added “that wasn’t a request.”

But seriously, folks, here’s a topic upon which CM CeeSaw and the senior editor concur. I detest those rat bastards at Indiana American Water, who through their nonchalant incompetence once cost MY OWN small independent business a $10K payday. You go, boy – clamp down on those giggling monopolist water delivery ninnies every chance you get.

Here's the pop-up-laden link: Benedetti names New Albany committee, board members; No action taken on council attorney contract, by Daniel Suddeath (OSIN)

At home or at work, Indiana-American Water Company just doesn't give a damn. Hint: Few monopolies do.

For the second time in less than a year, the water's off because the Indiana-American water monopoly (why?) was doing "routine" maintenance sans prior notice, and in the process of being "routine," broke a valve on a fire hydrant, requiring a water shut-off for an entire block or more, except that this time, it won't cost my business $10K in lost sales because it's just the homestead, and the cats already have water in their bowls.

The dentist office next door might not be feeling as charitable. Good luck to them as they try to extract anything beyond a "gee, we're sorry" response from the utility monopoly.

Coincidence?

Maybe, just maybe, INAWC delays its "routine" maintenance for too long, thus increasing the odds of "unexpected" valve snappings owing to neglect? Anyone keeping records on how many times such valve breaks occur? It might make interesting reading.

Let's go back to the future, and recall what happpened in 2010.

No State Police poaching at the Pizzeria & Public House tonight, because IN-AWC learned "routine" in Pyongyang.

Hats off to Indiana American Water for making something called "scheduled maintenance" from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. (which we were not once told was even happening) into a neighborhood catastrophe lasting all day on Friday. If they were in a mood to return phone calls, I'd give you their side of it.

Eventually, humans began answering the phone and actually calling me back, and the theme was universal: It isn't our fault.

Normal hours at the Pizzeria & Public House today, and HBG at Bank Street until 4:30 p.m.

If you are an employee of Indiana American Water, you'll be charged an additional 300% at both our locations to help begin recouping the money lost owing to your company's incompetence yesterday. Thanks for understanding.

No State Police poaching at the Pizzeria & Public House tonight, because IN-AWC learned "routine" in Pyongyang.

The NABC Pizzeria & Public House will not reopen on this, customarily our busiest day of the week, during this, usually one of the biggest weekends of the year.

Bank Street Brewhouse operates normally, in spite of troglodyte indifference to Progressive Pints.

Hats off to Indiana American Water for making something called "scheduled maintenance" from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. (which we were not once told was even happening) into a neighborhood catastrophe lasting all day on Friday. If they were in a mood to return phone calls, I'd give you their side of it.

The Pizzeria & Public House will work normal hours on Saturday.

I think. Ask IN-AWC. Wait. There are no humans there with whom to speak.

Water's off, so the NABC Pizzeria & Pub closed until around 5:30 p.m.

2:15 p.m. update: Semi-official word is, no water service at the Pizzeria & Public House until somewhere around 5:30 p.m. Suggestion is they were routinely checking hydrants, found a leak, and are fixing it. There goes the after work crowd. We think we'll be good by 5:30 - 6:00 p.m. with no ill effects after that. I will be back to update you.

As of 12:30 p.m., water service has been cut off at the Pizzeria & Public House in what Indiana American Water's far-off customer service representative describes to me as scheduled maintenance. For three hours.

That's right. For three hours. On a Friday. With no warning whatsoever.

I'll be back to let you know when the coast's clear. I hope we're open again by 4 p.m., but we're at the mercy of the water company, and I'm waiting for a call back from some poor unfortunate whose ass may well get ripped.

Bank Street Brewhouse is open.