Well, yesterday afternoon was FUN.

Should be to Tell City by now.

Yesterday there was wind and rain event with a quasi-Biblical six-hour power outage at the homestead. Having neglected to charge my phone, I sat instead on the front porch with cigar in hand and dead communications hunk in my pocket, watching the spectacle unfold.

First came a pleasant view of various roofing parts flapping in the breeze like resistance battle flags. In this instance they were resisting being nailed down. It may be time to do something about this.

Next I observed the city's "Your Speed" digital display sign, recently erected in our front yard as a helpful reminder that Team Gahan really is capable of humor on widely scattered occasions, registering speeds of 7, 8 and 9 mph on cars driving as fast as always through a driving rain, most without headlights on.

Fire trucks came past, and half these speeding lampless vehicles refused to yield. 

But the most bizarre occurrence of all came at the very height of the downpour, around 5:30 p.m. It requires a brief explanation.

The owners of the house two doors down to the east moved away a year or so ago, and have been renting the place as an Airbnb. We've no objections to this, except I've noticed a tendency during the winter months for trash and leaves to pile up along the retaining wall by the sidewalk. There's been a healthy pile of debris reposing there for a while.

Yesterday as sheets of rain were coming down, from nowhere there emerged a drenched little man wearing a purple Lanesville Heritage Weekend t-shirt and brandishing a broom. He began sweeping the piles of trash across the sidewalk, into the two-feet-wide channel of stormwater runoff at the curb, then watching contentedly as cups, fast food bags and cigarette butts floated merrily toward the drain further down by the funeral home.

Surreal, indeed. Imagine spending the past two months thinking to yourself, "if only we'd have a huge wind and thunder storm so I can go out, get soaked -- and sweep."

Only in New Albany.

Within twenty minutes of this scene, the sun was out and a colossal rainbow appeared to the southeast. Eventually we went to Pints&union to recharge our phones and have a couple of pints, and near the end of number two, the automated Duke Outage voice informed me the electricity was back on.

We arrived home to the overwhelming smell of pork ribs baking; there'd been so much happening that I completely to remove them from the oven when the power went off.

What can a poor boy do, 'cept have another beer?

Pints & Union Portfolio: As we cope with ongoing outages, this week's draft outlook includes a scrumpy cider.

For many months prior to the opening days of Pints&union in early August, I spent lots of time detailing my objectives for the draft lines.

In short, I wanted to put five or six classic beers on draft and leave them alone -- not constantly rotate them like seemingly every other bar does these days, but test my pet theory that amid the constant gilt and flash, there's still a place for old-school brand loyalty.

Because ... brand loyalty still works for mainstream beers, doesn't it?

If you're a Bud Light or Lite drinker, you probably needn't worry about your regular joint rotating these brands. Maybe craft and import drinkers would appreciate stability, too, with two or three lines still available for seasonal and specialty fare.

Originally it was my decision to pour five permanent drafts from the portfolio of the Monarch wholesale house and its World Class affiliate. My reasoning in doing so was three-fold:

1. The comfort/legacy/heritage brands I want come from Monarch 
2. The company's size ensures excellent tech support
3. The was (and remains) a personal connection in the form of a friend who works there

Things got off to a wonderful start -- for 12 whole business days.

Then our third keg of Fuller's blew, and there was no more (it recently returned after two months absent).

Then Anchor Porter ran dry, with no reinforcements for at least two months, and none yet.

As of last week, it was Pilsner Urquell's turn; maybe next week for Anchor Porter and Pilsner Urquell, maybe next year -- hey, who knows?

The happier flip side is that Guinness and Bell's Two Hearted have not disappeared, at least yet, and Cavalier, our other primary wholesaler, has assured a steady supply of Falls City. It's the sixth fixed draft selection and the only permanent pour not to be sourced from Monarch.

To summarize:

Pints&union has been in business for 70-odd days. During this time, we've had the ideal draft lineup in place for only the first 12. 

That's simply inexcusable. 12 divided by 70 comes out 17%, which is a batting average of .171 for Monarch/World Class thus far when it comes to supplying five (5) beers that by no means are rare enough to merit such futility.

Retailers don't have the luxury of being this inefficient, and I'm not kidding you when I say it galls me, because Monarch has a government-mandated monopoly. We can't get Fuller's or Pilsner Urquell from a different wholesaler, only Monarch. If they're out of stock, there is no recourse.

All this said, we'll get past it. All these recent substitutions don't thrill me. It isn't the way I'd prefer to do it. So be it. Here's what will be happening in the next few days as we get the draft lines back into some semblance of order following the Harvest Homecoming craziness and Monarch's persistent ... er, issues.

The symbol → means "next" or "then."

• Pilsner Urquell → Daredevil German Pils
• Bell's Two Hearted
• Bell's Porter
• North Coast Le Merle Saison → 18th Street English Brown Ale
• Guinness Stout
• St. Bernardus Tripel
• Falls City Classic Pilsner
• Weihenstephaner Hefe Weissbier  → Gale's Scrumpy Cider "Liam's Hill"
• Revolution Oktoberfest  → Donum Dei 812 Nouveau Wet-Hopped IPA
• Fuller's London Pride

I'll be back later in the week to write about 812 Nouveau Wet-Hopped IPA and Liam's Hill scrumpy cider.

The latter is from the Thomas Family Winery in Madison IN and will be on tap at Pints&union for a good while, as Steve has set aside four kegs of it. This will mean operating with one fewer beer tap, but for a cider as good as this, it's an easy swap.

For fans of Weihenstephaner Hefe Weissbier, summer's over. However, we'll be stocking the same beer in bottles.

Depending on when the Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale kegs arrive at North Vernon, our third of three wholesalers, they'll follow Donum Dei and pour through Christmas so long as supplies hold up.

Exactly when these various draft pieces fall into place this week isn't clear yet, but I'll be doing my best to make it sensible.

ASK THE BORED: What the hell do we do when a street light is out?

You're outside walking the pooch after dark, and you trip on a malformed sidewalk that hasn't been repaired since the Kennedy years.

"Damn," you curse. "If only the street light would have been functional, I could have minded the gap."

And so you go to the city's snazzy upgraded web site, the one where you're greeted by a billboard-sized portrait of Our Beloved Leader, in order to report the street light outage, because you know the sidewalk's gonna be toast at least until the second Chelsea Clinton administration.

So much for that. Surmising that the city probably has outsourced all such matters to the utility monopolies, which play a central role in campaign finance for those aspiring to be President Chelsea's local branded representative, you're off to Google.

Problem is, Duke says "no can do" in Indiana.

And yet, hit another link recently posted on a Facebook page, and there's this.

It appears to be a procedure for reporting street light outages. I haven't tried it yet because miraculously, all the lights on my block appear to be functional at present.

This week's question to the Bored, destined to remain unanswered just like the rest: Exactly what is the procedure for reporting a street light outage? Is it Duke, or must citizens take a half day off from work to pay homage to Chairman Warren in person?

Also this: Is it Happy Hour yet?

Water's off, so the NABC Pizzeria & Pub closed until around 5:30 p.m.

2:15 p.m. update: Semi-official word is, no water service at the Pizzeria & Public House until somewhere around 5:30 p.m. Suggestion is they were routinely checking hydrants, found a leak, and are fixing it. There goes the after work crowd. We think we'll be good by 5:30 - 6:00 p.m. with no ill effects after that. I will be back to update you.

As of 12:30 p.m., water service has been cut off at the Pizzeria & Public House in what Indiana American Water's far-off customer service representative describes to me as scheduled maintenance. For three hours.

That's right. For three hours. On a Friday. With no warning whatsoever.

I'll be back to let you know when the coast's clear. I hope we're open again by 4 p.m., but we're at the mercy of the water company, and I'm waiting for a call back from some poor unfortunate whose ass may well get ripped.

Bank Street Brewhouse is open.