Give each of our council members an invocation resolution, and they can waste a lifetime.

New Albany's obvious civic issues include economic development, police & fire, poverty, street grid reform, substandard housing, human rights, and an urgent need to take daddy's credit card away from Jeff Gahan before the budgetary pinball machine flashes "tilt," and yet next Thursday night, New Albany's city council instead will debate competing visions of meeting-opening prayers, moments of silence or rotating essay contests.

We already know that at least two of our council representatives don't accept their own "invocation" ordinance as currently written, with Dan Coffey and John Gonder leading the way in proposing alternatives -- but why not all of the council's members?

Just have the city clerk slap these ideas on the agenda, and there'll be enough foolishness to get council through November -- which is all most of the members want, anyway.

At-Large - Shirley Baird
Resolved: Let Develop New Albany decide what I should do. Don't they always?

At-Large - Kevin Zurschmiede
Resolved: I swear to God that "happy ending" describes my campaign for mayor, and not what any of my tenants are doing when I avert my eyes.

2nd District - Bob Caesar
Resolved: "See, the Lord is coming with fire, and his chariots are like a whirlwind; he will bring down his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire ... for anyone who wants two-way streets -- right, Irv?" (Isaiah 66:15)

3rd District - Greg Phipps
Resolved: Even if there were not a prayer, wouldn't an empty agenda be better than a crumbling dilapidated building? After all, it's not the role of the council to announce prayers, that's the role of the players who are involved. Or the prayers involved, and I can't imagine a prayer that would be worse that what's there now. So I say, tear it down.

4th District - Patrick McLaughlin
Resolved: Hey, whatever the mayor wants is fine by me. Isn't it always?

5th District - Diane Benedetti
Resolved: Truth be told, I had it right the first time.

6th District - Scott Blair
Resolved: My previous public rejection of resolutions needs to be placed into context, since in this instance, an independent must think alive with a copperhead, especially as it pertains to critical quality of life situations here in the council chamber. Can I see this on a spreadsheet? Without financial controls ... oh, what the hell: Yea. What did I just vote for?