The latest design for the bold new 8th & Emery’s historical reclamation condo project was unveiled yesterday at an ice cream social held in broad daylight atop the recently resurfaced Culbertson Street.
Retired mayor Doug England, who said he still expects the UEA to pay “or else,” was joined by former city hall twin Carl Malysz, as well as various landmarks and preservation dignitaries.
“This kills several birds with one stone,” noted Malysz. “The historically significant ice cream shop gets hoisted up there to be an uppity penthouse on blocks, attracting the same champagne-sipping demographic as River View, and the UEA gets bankrupted in the process. It’s a win-win for the city.”
“Even though I’m not still mayor,” added England, “It doesn’t mean the UEA still isn’t the city’s goddamned ATM. You punch in the numbers, the money comes out, and someone else takes credit.”
“Ideal,” agreed Malysz.
Those in attendance lauded the innovative building plan devised by the Dudgeon architectural firm, which solved the problem of access to the new penthouse by means of old-school technology: A basket and pulley system once mentioned in a halftime pep talk by the über-sexy college football coach Howard Schnellenberger, who once visited the monasteries of Meteora during the Carter years while on a recruiting visit to central Greece, and saw linebackers being hoisted from the valley floor to waiting orthodox monks.
In the photo above, State Representative Ed Clere, a staunch proponent of spending the UEA’s money if it means not having to ask Uncle Mitch for more gas money, is seen crossing Culbertson in the facsimile prayer basket. “This is a come-to basket, and it will put Hoosiers back to work,” said Clere about the conveyance.
"I also hear they're hiring at Chick-fil-A," added Clere.
A spokesperson for Develop New Albany promised that the penthouse alone would sell for $350,000, non-remunerable to “those assholes at the UEA,” but instead to be used to finance administrative costs at the S. Ellen Jones NSP. Although the delineated area of the NSP does not include the 8th & Emery’s structure, “It’s close enough, and I need the cash.”
They're not the only ones. According to the Sawhorse Foundation, “If you see Mike Ladd, can you tell him we need that check, ASAP?”
5 comments:
8th and Culbertson could be a good project for the city, if done correctly. It is my current understanding that the scope of the project is small and will not have the same impact if the project was done correctly.
I can understand anyone's reservation when they see vast sums of money being spent and know it will be wasted or we could have done more. I’ve been feeling that way for the past four years under the England Administration.
Things wont change much unless Gahan has the wisdom to kick Malysz to the curb like Regina Overton did.
RiverView could be a good project for the city if done "correctly".
(snort)
Yes, Mark, in contrast to doing something incorrectly, which the project seems to be headed.
8th and Culbertson can be a very promising project if done correctly. The city has committed more money to 8th and Culbertson than to RiverVeiw. If done correctly it can be a great example of neighborhood redevelopment.
The parties involved are the ones that can make the biggest difference in New Albany if they developed a comprehensive strategy to take on projects like this.
But then again we can always settle for the Progressive’s economic strategy for neighborhood revitalization.
And I think Roger is giving to much credit to Ed on 8th and Culbertson there really has been only one person behind the cities involvement and I don't think it has been Ed.
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