"It would be such a relief to walk in somewhere and have some disinterested college-age kid take my order without even making eye contact."

One might link to The Onion every single day, and usually I'm able to resist the temptation to do so, but this one is just too funny -- or, too truthful?

After all, a cookie-cutter Panera Bread is rumored to be coming to State Street soon. I saw on Facebook that Ron Grooms calls it a wonderful stroke of job creation; I suppose that's one opinion, albeit a badly informed one.

A great many other locals, if polled, surely would not react as those in The Onion's satirical piece, because they'd simply have no notion of what a Panera Bread is at all.

Neighborhood Kind Of Hoping Panera Bread Shows Up And Plows Over Charming Local Bakery, at The Onion

"I don't want to think about how someone at Callahan's woke up at 3 a.m. to make all the pastries from scratch," said April Frye, 53, claiming the owners' heartbreakingly sincere utterances of "thank you" and "please come again" never fail to make her feel guilty. "I'd like to be able to buy a cappuccino and not have to worry about whether I'm being grateful enough for all the hard work they obvi­ously put into it. You have no idea how many unwanted loaves of bread I've bought simply because I felt compelled to support a local business."