Luddite obstructionists mobilize to fight parking garages -- the latest atheist Commie threat.

Proposal: New Albany builds garage, developer builds on top, by Eric Scott Campbell (News and Tribune).

A local group wants to build a second component to downtown New Albany’s public Scribner Place development, city administration officials say.

A proposed deal would see the city build a parking garage immediately east of the under-construction YMCA and aquatic center. The private developer would then build a structure atop the garage, obtaining a unique view of the Ohio River.

At the most recent city council meeting, as Dan Coffey and Bill Schmidt outlined their newest old plans for an obstructionist jihad against the 21st century, in this particular instance by renewing the battle against the parking garage that's already been built, Mayor James Garner requested (and in a quite effective deadpan, no less) that the council wait to do so until it hears the proposal outlined by the Tribune's Campbell in the article above.

However, by the informal Gang of Four protocol specifying that the council's lead opposition to progress come from within the council district "threatened" with progress, the logical candidate to lead the Luddite battle against this latest perfectly sensible proposal isn't Coffey, but fellow conjoined councilman Steve Price. The location of the new garage would be just east of Scribner Place (itself located in Coffey's 1st district), which should place it within Price's long-suffering 3rd.

Given the intimate link between rental properties and "Re-elect Steve Price to City Council" yard signs, perhaps the best way for the city to approach the new parking garage would be to pretend it is a massive slumlord empowerment property. Dave Thrasher's art students could disguise the architect's drawings by adding cheap vinyl siding, porch appliances and nice, homey touches like virtual graffiti (for example, numerous "Property tax crisis" slogans) to the cement. Instead of the formless metrosexual people that typically populate such renderings, there could be shirtless meth users with pants around the ankles, unsupervised children in the streets, and unregulated boom cars running them down.

One can only imagine the pride swelling Price's chest as he votes in favor or assisting the constituency that benefits most from his, er, stewardship.

Once approved, the project can be changed back to its original form and the city of the future, as opposed to the past, can reap the benefits. Yes, the Gang of Two will spend the next four years bitching and moaning, but that's okay. They would, anyway, and we'd have another piece of the downtown revitalization puzzle in place.

Get 'em started, Dave. And make it comfy, will ya?