ON THE AVENUES: PourGate (the Great Beer Pour War of 2013): "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."

Last evening (1 December 2020) two of three Floyd County Commissioners declined to certify another four-year term for Dr. Thomas Harris as county health officer. 

John Boyle has the story at 89.3 WFPL, noting "none of the three commissioners, all Republicans, discussed the matter before the vote, and all have been vague about their reasoning to move away from Harris, the county’s top health official."

Speaking for myself, I've no complaints about Dr. Harris's handling of pandemic-related. He may have done too little, but that's a result of the right wing's hold on state government; doing anything at all in a proactive sense during a public health emergency automatically placed Harris far above every other county and city official of either major political party in this miserably reactionary vicinity.

ON THE AVENUES: Doc Harris and the Commissioners at the No Clue Corral.

Yet again, a complete lack of transparency and openness on the part of local elected officials means we must read tea leaves as to the whys and wherefores, but there is one scenario that might rationally explain the tight lips of the commissioners, and this is the expectation of a lawsuit (or multiple lawsuits) against the county pertaining to the workplace environment at the health department. 

This has been a persistent rumor for a long time, and allow me to stress that while there is no proof, such an eventuality would justify the prevailing reticence. As a caveat, let it be understood that none of this is to be construed as criticism of the front line health department workers. The shop floor is working hard. As oft times before, we speak here of upper management's inadequacies, and the buck stops with Dr. Harris.

Recalling the dominance of the Republican Party in Floyd County government, as opposed to Democratic Party control of the city of New Albany, the Green Mouse asked around and was told in essence that behind-the-scenes factions have been applying pressure for Dr. Harris' removal. 

At the risk of oversimplification, these factions comprise a center-moderate wing (yes, it does exist) with at least one candidate in mind, and the lunatic fringe of pandemic-denying Trumpist idolatry (you KNOW they exist). The position of the commissioners seems to be that whomever is inserted into the job by the health department's board will pay sufficient heed to COVID automatically, as if by magic, leaving them to juggle factions and tend to their own warring power elites.    

So it goes, and here we are. I've expressed support for Dr. Harris, and see no reason to backtrack, but now it's moot. More than one reader expressed shock and amazement with regard to my advocacy of Dr. Harris amid this politics-first kerfuffle, no doubt recalling PourGate, the Great Beer Pour War of 2013, when he tried to grab authority that wasn't his for the taking, and was rebuffed at every level of state government, rightfully so. 

Let's revisit.

On June 14, 2013, the New Albanian Brewing Company was peaceably vending beer at Bicentennial Park, by means of a supplemental catering permit issued by the company's governing agency, the Indiana Alcohol and Tobacco Commission.

The Floyd County Health Department arrived and said that NABC also needed a temporary food serving permit.

I said no, that's entirely incorrect. They persisted and a two-year-long struggle commenced. For a complete compendium of NAC links telling the excruciating story of PourGate, go here:

May 20, 2015: PourGate 2013: It took two years, but this new law silences Dr. Tom Harris and the Floyd County Health Department.

It's all plague under the pustules now, but don't be surprised if this inscription appears on my tombstone: "He Helped Vanquish the Health Fascists in the Great Beer Pour War, Then Died Anyway, Just Like Everyone Else."

To connect PourGate with the current situation, especially the recurring gossip about Dr. Harris' management style, here's a reprint of what remains the single most read "guest column" in the blog's history (August 1, 2013). Say what you will about my reputation for stridency, but the fact is that I can have a conversation with just about anyone on any side of this or the other divide. 

Except Dr. Harris. Insert "shrugging" emoji here.

---

ON THE AVENUES:  "Kneel and Kiss My Ring, You Degraded Alcoholic."

A weekly column by Roger A. Baylor. Today's guest columnist is Dr. Thomas Harris.

In the interest of fairness, I've invited Dr. Tom Harris, much decorated generalissimo of the Floyd County Health Department, to write this guest column offering his side of the recent unpleasantness. Looking at the whole situation dispassionately, Dr. Harris and I have quite a lot in common. Both of us were born, grew up, went to school, and received college degrees. I'm a professional in my field, as he is in his. In fact, it is to be imagined that we undulate, conjugate, ejaculate and defecate in similar ways, if not exactly the same -- unless, of course, he’s a space alien, and he is, and so the following is satire, pure and simple.

If you assume I’ll begin this essay by thanking a lowly brewer for affording a rebuttal to his serial insolence, think again.

One should never assume -- you'll make an ass out of yourself, certainly not me, because after all, I'm a doctor. The grandeur of my medical world view inevitably comes with the position, i.e., the rarefied territory of my critical role as guarantor of public health and safety.

The rest of you should just get the hell out of my way.

Let's get right down to brass tacks. Baylor, how dare you suggest that beer and brewing constitutes a “profession” in the same sense as a board-certified emergency medical pioneer like me. Every single day, our trained medical elites soothe suffering and save lives.

And you? You slouch at the tavern, sink into your cups, ruin your liver and foster bitterness toward those laudable over-achievers who possess my skill set and sheer dedication to public health and safety – whether the public understands any of it or not.

Because they seldom do, and mine is a tireless task, indeed.

It probably has escaped your notice, since not one of you care very much about public health and safety, not to mention your own disgusting standards of personal hygiene, but vast numbers of our fellow Americans are clueless sheep wallowing in a medieval squalor of bacteria. If not for the efforts of selfless heroes like me, you'd doubtless be bathing daily in your own raw sewage.

You really must see yourselves some time. Your filthy, germ-ridden body parts hang flabby and exposed from inadequate, scant clothing. You continue to smoke cigarettes even after we kicked you outside. You have sex before you’re married, refuse to use condoms, decline to exercise, and “dine” regularly on Big Gulps and Fritos. Any of you ever met a whole fried chicken, deep-fried Twinkie or fat-laden burger you wouldn’t stuff by the dozen into your gaping pie holes? I didn’t think so.

We try our best to ban all these substances that hurt you, but do you thank us? No, you just keep babbling about your right to determine your own destiny and live your own lives, as though we can tolerate free will when pathogens are everywhere. What have we become in America, a nation of philosophers?

And when it comes to the crux of the recent episodes, and why on earth we’d need anyone’s permission at all to regulate temporary beer pouring or any other activity deemed appropriate for saving you from yourselves, has it ever occurred to any of you that all of these dreadful materials you insist on ingesting are manufactured by food producers with an even lower opinion of you than me?

Furthermore, they have absolutely no respect for us as regulators and preservers of public health and safety. Every single one of those restaurants, lunch counters, taquerias, hot dog stands, food trucks, bistros and sushi joints bring in money hand over fist.

Do you think for one moment that local government funds the health department the way ordinary people throw money at some guy wrapping bacon around a cream puff? Not that local government has any money, because a lower tax burden is better for all of us, and the more golf you play, the more you know that if not for the GOP, we’d have even less funding for inspections. But we’re all white folks here, and I needn’t remind you of your obligations.

That’s what galls me about my own health department board being all namby pamby and saying Baylor doesn’t have to pay fees for his temporary permits.

When I said during the hearing that money doesn’t matter, what I meant was that I know far better how money matters and doesn’t matter than any of you cretins. As without doubt the leading element in society, we doctors are in the best position to make such judgments, and that’s why this whole shakedown started, anyway, because if New Albany’s mayor says it’s okay for ambulances to go to any hospital, and not be forced to use Floyd Memorial, then how’re we going to maintain the monopoly … er, I mean the monopoly on public health and safety, of course.

Why can’t you pathetic maladroit plebes grasp what I’m telling you? After me, it’s the deluge. You prattle on and on about answers, and how you’re entitled to the truth about the health department’s comprehensive program to control what goes down your gullets, so let me tell you something.

You can't handle the truth!

Baylor, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with syringes. Who's gonna do it? You? Lee Cotner? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the ATC, and you curse the health care supermen. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that my random personal opinions about food safety, while unsupported by Indiana law or precedent, saves lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at beer parties, you want me on that wall -- you need me on that wall.

We use words like "honor," "that’ll be $20," and "superior intellect." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a drunkard who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very public health and safety that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up some hand sanitizer and stand the post. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you're entitled to!

I do the job I was chosen to … and you're god damn right I made it all up on a whim! Now, be a good little boy and obey your elders.

After all, there’s no pluralism in a foxhole, juvenile.

---

November 30: ON THE AVENUES: A few thanks to give as we eagerly await Trump's forthcoming eviction.

November 24: ON THE AVENUES: Doc Harris and the Commissioners at the No Clue Corral.

November 15: ON THE AVENUES: Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon (The Big Bang Remix).

November 7: On (or off) the Avenues, there's got to be a morning after. 

ON THE AVENUES: Doc Harris and the Commissioners at the No Clue Corral.

Ah, the foolish delusions of youth.

Displaying the guileless eagerness of a fresh military recruit going into battle for the very first time, I began attending New Albany city council meetings in 2005, concurrently submitting to engagement in all sorts of grassroots public meetings.

After a few months thrashing through this stinking, fetid swamp, my only goal in life became finding a nice, dry branch to hang on to.

My persistence in indulging this gavel-pounding, head-throbbing, BDSM-like fetish for social dysfunction subsequently extended far past the point when most normal people would have been forcibly loaded onto the padded taxi for a no-expenses-paid visit to Fantasy Island.

It’s a testament to my sheer, stubborn cantankerousness that I never became one of the zombie drones, although not unlike formaldehyde, copious quantities of beverage alcohol certainly helped preserve my sanity.

Then in 2019, lest the gateway martinis lead me down a path to heroin, I withdrew from the fray. After 15 years, I finally reached a sensible conclusion that as long as undemocratic Democrats ruled the municipal roost, there’d never be improvement. Rehabilitation proceeds apace. 

But those outlandish nightmares of King Larry Kochert ogling my leotards?

They’ll last forever.

One lesson from this era of trauma and self-harm also stays with me, because whenever Floyd County politicians belonging to either major political party suddenly cite an alarming lack of information as a reason to delay acting, even when the vital information deemed essential has reposed for weeks and maybe months atop a case of Bud Light Kumquat-A-Rita in their dens—in Bob Caesar’s case, immediately adjacent to the “missing” crate containing his Bicentennial Commission financial records—it invariably leads to two closely related outcomes.

Their sleeves are being tugged by self-appointed pillars (read: fixers) of the community … and as a result, an embarrassing retrograde maneuver is in the offing.

Given my pre-retirement history of gleefully exposing the dismal antics of New Albany's DemoDisneyDixiecrats, currently extinct beyond city limits, many heads will be nodding in anticipation of the usual verbiage directed against Adam’s Ants. 

Not this time. 

Instead, let’s take a journey to the other side of the aisle, and consider our information-deprived county commissioners, Republicans all: Shawn Carruthers, John Schellenberger and Tim Kamer. 

---

Dear reader, unless you’re a complete imbecile, you've grasped with clarity and certainty that the COVID-19 pandemic has entered a particularly gruesome stage as the holiday season approaches.

Consider the self-inflicted wounds of Indiana’s governor, Eric Holcomb. After more than seven months of futility spent trying to thread the GOP’s culture-wide needle of pandemic denial, even as his predecessor Mike Pence stood off to the side, maskless, breathing vapid scripture into his eyeglasses, Holcomb opened, then partially closed, and finally conceded his own impotence in declaring a new color-coded system to put COVID mitigation measures into the hands of local county officials.

Just think how much Holcomb’s late autumn devolution might have helped had it been implemented in April. Perhaps he was frightened by the Libertarian insurgency in the gubernatorial race. Pence might have been distracted by the need to find a new job. None of it would matter if not for the potential for a worse pandemic than we already experienced, and presently are witnessing.  

Now, in November, for all intents and purposes, COVID-era devolution means that local unelected county officials are being charged with formulating and enforcing policies pertaining to the pandemic.

There’s the rub.

With the vast majority of Indiana’s elected Republicans, as well as a far larger percentage of minority Democrats than you might imagine, all unwilling to risk leadership during an election-year public health crisis, but yearning to preserve their electoral viability for future pandering, the magical solution is to put unpopular decisions in the hands of folks like Dr. Thomas Harris, chief of the Floyd County Health Department.

Frequent readers will recall the infamous "Pour Gate" scandal in 2013 (see here for a full account), when Dr. Harris sought to exceed his agency’s statutory limitations and was wrestled to the ground and repelled by a holy coalition of Hoosiers. Obviously, Dr. Harris and I are not bosom buddies, and quite likely won’t ever be.

However, 2013 and 2020 are one hundred and seven years apart.

It was reported last week that Dr. Harris has been approved to serve another term by the health department board, a decision customarily "certified" by the three Floyd County Commissioners (as noted, all are Republican).

However, the certification was tabled, with Kamer, the least experienced commissioner, stepping forward as de facto spokesman to cite the telltale absence of critical information. Carruthers and Schellenberger merely confined themselves to disinterested nods, and transparency crawled off to die.

The optics of the unanticipated delay couldn’t be much worse for the commissioners, given that earlier in the week Dr. Harris has announced tighter pandemic restrictions on restaurants and bars, still more timid than those taken in surrounding states, and yet a step in the right direction.

Unless, of course, you’re among the whack-jobs who still deny the efficacy of any pandemic restrictions, or the existence of COVID itself. Whether the three commissioners do or don’t embrace science is a question we can’t answer, although their haste in stalling Dr. Harris’s reappointment seems to me an irrefutable clue. After all, one of them is the Republican Party’s county chairman.

Scuttlebutt meanwhile suggests their arms are being twisted by Republican grandees besotted with lunatic fringe Kool-Aid and evangelical Christianity; perhaps Dr. Harris failed to properly fill out the Right to Life questionnaire, or forgot to put a MAGA sign in his yard.

Or, as my friend Occam suggests, it’s exactly as it seems, and local Republicans are terrified lest they be viewed as surrendering to nasty masked liberals who worship George Soros. 

Freedom! Liberty! Mass infections and an early death to grandma! 

Well, you know, the stock market rules.

---

As many of you are aware, I’m employed part-time by a restaurant, and have another part-time job writing about restaurants. When Dr. Harris usurped his department's power in 2013, I spent two years fighting against him, and winning, because he was wrong—and quite a few Republicans agreed, and did the heavy lifting required.

However, I fully support the measures announced last week by Dr. Harris to address the pandemic’s spread. They’re something, as opposed to nothing, and also necessary, as opposed to Disney World.

In point of fact, Harris’s actions during a single day last week shot this unelected official straight to the top of the local leadership board, seeing as leadership from elected officeholders has been even more AWOL than usual since March.

Yes, city council passed a toothless resolution, and two weeks ago, the mayor attached his name to a ludicrously belated social media pronouncement divulging his lightbulb-above-noggin recognition of the pandemic, and urging citizens to mask up and distance themselves. News travels slowly into the shadowy bowels of the bunker, and it only took hundreds of days, but better late than never.

We needn't elaborate as to what local elected Republicans have done concerning COVID, since as Billy Preston once reminded us, nothing from nothing leaves … nothing.

Dr. Harris exercised a semblance of leadership, and his Republican handlers immediately hung him out to dry. It isn’t a coincidence. They inhabit a political belief system that would have exiled Dr. Anthony Fauci before Memorial Day if not checked. Many of them are entangled in religious superstition that would have been right at home in Spain during the Inquisition. We stream music via weird and mysterious invisible waves; they spin 78-rpm discs coated with shellac. 

Dear reader, if you espouse human reason, and respect the veracity of the scientific method, I suggest you query the commissioners as to what sort of petty game they're playing, and who is issuing their marching orders. Their phone numbers are here, although not their e-mail addresses.

Not surprising, is it?

---

November 15: ON THE AVENUES: Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon (The Big Bang Remix).

November 7: On (or off) the Avenues, there's got to be a morning after. 

October 8: ON THE AVENUES: I'm voting for Biden. Otherwise it's Trump's burgeoning fascist GOP death cult. 

October 1: ON THE AVENUES: Welcome to the last will and testament of NA Confidential. 

The NAPD is right, because pandemic safety measures should come first.

 

I'll begin by saying that in my own personal opinion, pandemic safety far outweighs the understandable urge on the part of some to "recreate" a festival canceled owing to ... that's right, pandemic safety. 

Consequently, the letter from NAPD, while uncharacteristically firm, is entirely fitting. I agree with these sentiments completely. 

I'm confused by only one passage, and will hazard an interpretation: "Ensure no patron exits your business with alcoholic beverages."

I believe the chief means to say alcoholic beverages must not exit businesses in open, non-original containers, which is to say a cocktail or draft beer in a plastic cup, seeing as the governor's statewide emergency writ currently allows carry-outs even from those establishments lacking the proper permit to do so. The city doesn't have any restrictions against open containers out in the open, although of course the police might choose to interpret public intoxication broadly. The Alcohol & Tobacco Commission generally is the final authority on such matters.

To reiterate, I'm personally uninterested in the various crowd-gathering events being staged during the time when Harvest Homecoming normally would be in progress, and I support the city's vigilance. 

One question, though: If these crowd-gathering events are judged not to be in the interest of public health amid the pandemic, couldn't the city and/or health department have pro-actively nixed them? In particular, as with the ATC and beverage licenses, the health department can intervene in a situation involving public health any time it wishes to do so.

Just curious. 

Caution.

As the postal crisis unfolded recently, I kept reminding Democrats that they, too, have contributed to this problem via their bizarre eagerness to accept the gutting of public services.

Oh no, they replied.

Oh yes. Sorry to bug you,but it's true. This can be fixed. First, Democrats must stop agreeing with Republicans on voodoo economics. They might begin by listening to their own left wing.

It’s Not Just Trump: The Neoliberal Roots of the Postal Service Crisis, by Max B. Sawicky (In These Times)

We should defend the Post Office, both from Trump and the ideology of austerity that treats the agency “like a business.”

We’re cur­rent­ly get­ting a vivid, painful reminder of why we need a pub­lic sec­tor. The col­lapse of pub­lic ser­vices, in par­tic­u­lar the pro­vi­sion of pub­lic health, has tor­pe­doed the entire econ­o­my as a dead­ly pan­dem­ic rav­ages the coun­try. The end of the road in our cur­rent devo­lu­tion may be the assault on one of our old­est pub­lic insti­tu­tions — the ven­er­a­ble and very pop­u­lar U.S. Postal Service.

snip

From an eco­nom­ic stand­point, there is no rea­son a postal ser­vice must run a prof­it. As many com­men­ta­tors have point­ed out, this con­straint is applied selec­tive­ly, out of ide­o­log­i­cal prej­u­dices. Nobody requires the Depart­ment of Defense to turn a profit. (For this we should prob­a­bly be grateful.)

snip

The point here is that the spu­ri­ous notion that the U.S. Postal Ser­vice should be finan­cial­ly self-suf­fi­cient — which goes back decades — helped give rise to the abil­i­ty of Trump’s crony in charge of the Post Office, the con­flict-of-inter­est-rid­den Louis DeJoy, to cut ser­vices in the name of account­ing sol­ven­cy. For his part, Trump has acknowl­edged open­ly that his refusal to pro­vide nec­es­sary sup­ple­men­tary funds to ensure effec­tive deliv­ery of the mail is found­ed on his deter­mi­na­tion to frus­trate the vote-by-mail system.

In the wake of the uproar over mail sab­o­tage, pub­lic pres­sure has appar­ent­ly forced DeJoy to defer some ser­vice cuts until after the elec­tion. To make sure this pledge is hon­ored, we will have to keep a clear eye on the actu­al progress, on the ground, in prepar­ing for the elec­tion. For­tu­nate­ly, union­ized postal work­ers will be essen­tial allies in mon­i­tor­ing the integri­ty of Postal Ser­vice man­age­ment. Pend­ing the suc­cess­ful removal of the cur­rent admin­is­tra­tion, a forth­right reju­ve­na­tion of the U.S. Postal Ser­vice can com­mence, in which we final­ly cast off the unfound­ed account­ing imper­a­tives that crip­ple its operations.

Face the Face.

There's a reason for #DontBeAMaskHole.

I've said all along, and will now repeat, that it's the ultimate in despicable governmental cowardice to "encourage" face masks, but to allow retail workers to do the dirty work of enforcement.

A restaurant subject to health department guidelines regarding hygienic standards, generally now including face masks, must obey (and most are aboard) or face sanctions. Meanwhile elected officials from BOTH major political parties see no issue with issuing unenforced mandates leading to ordinary workers being compelled to act as police on behalf of spineless politicians.

It's bullshit, and it needs to stop. I live in a place called New Albany, Indiana, and the unmitigated, calculating drivelers currently serving in elective office here can be the place where rationality begins.

Fed up with anti-maskers, mask advocates are demanding mandates, fines — and common courtesy, by Marc Fisher

 ... In a country stumbling to control a rampant and deadly virus, masks are effective and popular weapons. Three-quarters of Americans favor requiring people to wear face coverings in public to stop the spread of the novel coronavirus, including 89 percent of Democrats and 58 percent of Republicans, according to an Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research poll in July.

Now, with the nation reeling from more than 5 million infections and nearly 170,000 virus-related deaths, a rising sense of outrage is leading this silent majority to push back against the smaller but louder anti-mask contingent.

Instead of flashy protests and confrontations, however, mask supporters are expressing their exasperation in quieter ways, writing letters to local newspapers, posting on social media, patronizing businesses identified as mask-enforcers on dedicated Facebook groups and urging state and local officials to mandate mask-wearing in public.

So far, 34 states and the District have adopted mask requirements. Now, mask advocates want police to enforce those orders, a move some police chiefs have said they are reluctant to make. They are seeking legal protection for retail workers put in the awkward position of enforcing mask rules. And they are lobbying for a coordinated federal mask policy ...

The Torture Never Stops.

Let's see if I have this straight.

It took laborious behind-the-scenes lobbying to convince New Albany's city council Democrats to approve a toothless face covering/mask resolution, an eloquent statement of abdication. This done, a committee of customary suspects was appointed to consider a "heavier" ordinance, and all involved -- including the mayor, who'd also done precisely zilch -- breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing  of substance had occurred, and responsibility was deferred.

(As an aside, now I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, they'll return to the ordinance idea. They might.)

But, still: The score begins Nothing 1, Something 0.

Then, after President Trump emerged from his Twitter war room in a state of consciousness suitable to tepidly support the wearing of face coverings/masks, Governor Eric Holcomb, a Republican, decreed a statewide mandate for Indiana, to begin a week after his announcement, this delay coming because -- well, there's all the time in the world, I suppose.

Nothing 1, Something 0, but with a runner on base.

Then, after standing by for weeks, Dr. Thomas Harris read the governor's proclamation and belatedly discovered the effectiveness of face coverings/masks, issuing his own Floyd County Health Department writ mandating masks to take effect three days in advance of Holcomb's order.

Nothing 1, Something 0, but with another runner on base.

Today, Holcomb signed an executive order mandating face coverings/masks, but without any semblance of an enforcement mechanism. Subsequently it was revealed that Harris's order also is absent any teeth, and what the hell, it didn't matter anyway, because both the sheriff (Frank Loop, R) and the police chief (Todd Bailey, D) -- in agreement for the first time in living memory -- conceded their shared disinterest in enforcing ANY such law.

Let's see -- double play, then a runner picked off; Nothing comes to bat and blasts home runs on two straight pitches.

Nothing 3, Something 0. Game over. Pandemic very much NOT over.

I ask, again: if politicians are not going to muster the simple courage demanded of them by their oaths, and expend the necessary political capital to help the populace stay safe DURING A PANDEMIC, then when, exactly, do they feel that the proper time might actually be?

This is why I detest the two-party system with every last fiber of my being.

Our elected officials from both parties have combined to incessantly politicize public health during this crisis, and to hand us a document written in invisible ink. But I must say in utter candor that the GOP, in charge of "governing" throughout the state, bears more of the sad burden of ignominy.

Let's call the non-outcome Triple Secret Probation.

Better yet, why not refer to it as a DEAD LETTER. 

After all, their combined non-efforts will lead to Hoosiers ... that's right, dying.

(for the next few days, I'll be titling my posts after songs. That should confuse them even more)

ON THE AVENUES: These overdue mask mandates should help us separate the bad actors from the good.

I like the idea of beginning the column with music. Thank you for the idea, Charles P. Pierce.

Meanwhile, they hath stolen my damn thunder.

I'd been preparing a sermon about the path of the righteous masked man, and how it is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil unmasked men.

Then these Republicans went and canceled me.

First it was Indiana’s Governor Eric Holcomb, followed by the Floyd County Health Department chief Dr. Thomas Harris.

Holcomb’s statewide mask mandate starts on Monday, but once the potential for heat from the home office in Indy was reduced, Dr. Tom at long last implemented a must-mask decree here, to begin tomorrow (Friday, July 24).

Enquiring minds want to know: What on earth took Dr. Tom so long?

Back in 2013 he was willing to fight for two entire YEARS for the health department’s inalienable “right” to regulate breweries pouring cups of beer at outdoor events.

Remembering the Great Beer Pour War of 2013: Bank Street Brewhouse, the Floyd County Health Department and the flight of the bureaucrats.

 ... On July 1, 2015, when a "beer bill" authored by Rep. Ed Clere officially becomes state law, it will be demonstrated for a third (and we trust final) time that the FCHD and its head, Dr. Tom Harris, were mistaken all along.

The new law is clear and explicit, as based on the two preceding legal precedents, both hitherto ignored by the FCHD.

All thanks to Ed Clere. His hard work in compelling local government functionaries to obey their own laws will not be forgotten, especially by me.

I digress, of course, but not before adding an important addendum.

The preceding events occurred between 2013 and 2015. They’re minor in relative terms compared with a pandemic, and yet it behooves me to note that when conditions, facts and realities on the ground change, we’re obliged to change with them.

Ask me a year ago what I thought about masks, and I’d likely to have shrugged and described them as comical. Now I’m not laughing.

Let’s be clear about these mask mandates.

They are an unqualified good.

---

The available evidence has long since convinced all but the most strident of dogma-driven refuseniks that we are in the midst of a coronavirus public health emergency. Sorry, Ayn Randians; the coronavirus itself has proven to be notoriously indifferent to the philosophy of objectivism.

Reputable scientific opinion existing outside our partisan propaganda silos is consistent and persuasive; COVID-19 is not the customary seasonal flu, and we’ve thoroughly botched our response to it.

The pandemic is not “going away” on its own, and if we can yet muster a coherent collective response, perhaps lives can be saved and post-COVID after-effects on personal health reduced.

Truth is truth. I needn’t have mentioned one of the worst novelists in recent American history to support the point.

Moreover, it serves no purpose to refer to the stock market, presidential elections, the purported expertise of rogue orthodontists who have found a link between Chinese viruses and the Trilateral Commission, or the way that social media renders both libtards and fascists into evil incarnate depending on the way the light bounces from mirrors none of us seem interested in using any longer.

As for the bizarre and almost purely American-derived "issue" of face masks, I support their use. Block, mute and unfriend to your heart's content. I’m satisfied with the testimony of trained medical authorities possessing long years of experience. Masks strike me as helpful and courteous in a time of pandemic. You and I can work together to keep a percentage of spray particles to ourselves. It's not a panacea; nothing is. It helps, and that's good.

Early on, as the merits of masks in spaces where social distance is harder to achieve became increasingly obvious, I noticed how few of the denizens of downtown New Albany were wearing them. Among them were many folks who in one way or another are “official,” or somehow consider themselves among the societal vanguard in some dimension – indie biz advocates, city employees and retail personnel, as examples.

It’s gotten gradually better since.

However, what I thought to myself at the time is that being part of any solution, great or small, implies the acceptance of holding yourself to whatever standards you’re touting. The old-school terminology is being a “role model,” and being a role model means bad actors need not apply.

If I go for a walk in the neighborhood when no one else is out, or am inside my own car, those are low-intensity examples. I’ll have my mask with me, just in case it is needed. But when I’m downtown, where many more people are out and about; if my employer’s admirable sense of professionalism and conscience precluded him from reopening his pub until he could make it as safe an experience as humanly possible, then it’s incumbent on me to wear the mask.

You know, being a positive role model.

That’s been easy, because wearing a mask isn’t political unless you’ve no better way to squander misspent brain cells. It’s about courtesy and public health in an uncommon period. A mask doesn’t violate my manhood or cause me to grow wool and go “baaahh.” I don’t have a finely waxed Rollie Fingers handlebar mustache to display in the hope of causing the fairer sex to swoon. Masks are fine with me, for no other reason than a way of pitching in.

It’s true that various economic theorists of the Narcissism as Economic Dishevelment have proven wonderfully capable of deconstructing the concept of “community” completely and putting it out of existence, and yet when I look outside, that’s what I see. A community. I don’t accept the foolishness of the selfish. I trust my own two eyes, and I believe in being a good actor as opposed to a soul-sapping malignancy with skeletons in the closet.

Maybe you had a different sort of upbringing, and if so, my sincerest condolences.

---

Holcomb’s and Harris’ mask directives surely pleased the ever-calculating grandees of the Floyd County Democratic Party. If the three-percenter anti-mask jihadists run amok, Democrats can blame the Republicans. If tantrum-prone adult snowflakes suddenly get the memo and decide to mask up, the Democrats can point to their toothless city council resolution and claim to have gotten there first.

Come what may, we should try not to forget that since the pandemic shutdown was launched on March 16, municipal Democrats have controlled all levers of local governance. They have a city council majority and hold the mayor’s office. Their appointees populate every board that matters and others that don't. Seldom before has so much power been held by so few at the apex of the pyramid.

If they have no intention whatever of using this power, would they mind if I borrowed it for the weekend?

There are literally dozens of proactive measures Democrats might have implemented these past five months to address the pandemic, but apart from an early and short-lived meal subsidy for displaced restaurant workers, signage for curbside parking and city anchor sticker logos slapped crookedly on canisters of hand sanitizer produced at Starlight Distillery, very little has been said or done except for irregular social media requests for the citizenry to be nice and behave itself.

In noting these facts, I’m foregoing polemics. No, really -- I am. Go to the News and Tribune web site, perform a few simple searches, and see so for yourself. Here in New Albany, agoraphobia and detachment remain the political orders of the day, both in sickness and health.

You're advised to believe me when I say that this time around, because of the way a pandemic fundamentally changes the nature of the playing field, I thought maybe for once ... just once ... local Democrats would rally the cadres and rise to the occasion.

I thought wrong, and it’s very depressing. Lucy pulled back the football. The crickets have chirped. The sound of pins dropping is like thunder, and somewhere, a lonely mutt bays at the indignity of it all.

What's more, timidity gains the party nothing.

Come November, Donald Trump will yet again win the city, almost surely by at least a 15% margin, probably more, illustrating that quite a few theoretical “Democrats” who voted for the incumbent mayor in 2019 will (again) opt for an abominable failure of a president in 2020.

How do they sleep at night, these "democrats"? It's been eight years; still, hope springs eternal. I cling to that most faint of pulses, the one suggesting that there'll come a time when they actually remember what it means to be democratic.

---

While we’re on the topic of institutional memory, did you know that National Cognitive Dissonance Day is the oldest public holiday in the United States?

It has been running 24/7/365 since July 4, 1776 (or thereabouts), when the clever rhetorical hocus pocus contrived by wealthy slave owners and wealthy rum trade merchants working together to pontificate about human rights in theory, while acting to enshrine property rights in reality, made lasting hypocrites out of us all.

By the way, is fireworks season over yet?

---

Recent columns:

July 16: ON THE AVENUES: Daniil Kharms, Marina Malich, and writing for the drawer about nothing ... pre-Seinfeld.

July 9: ON THE AVENUES: Mask up, folks. Pints&union is coming back, and we're taking precautions.

July 5: ON THE AVENUES took a week off. Here's what I've been writing while on holiday.

June 25: ON THE AVENUES: I’m invisible, so will you stop insisting you see me?

A fact-filled letter to the city council supporting a mask ordinance, authored by Mrs. Kate Caufield.

We've been talking about this for the last two days. Doing so by no means compromises my sabbatical; after all, the topic is health, medical science and public safety.

Politics is the seasoning, not the main course.

Pandemically speaking, a mask ordinance is NECESSARY in NA, rather than a non-binding resolution. Democrats can do it, if they choose.

Our position on last weekend's proms, COVID, and YOUR malignant narcissism.

Typically toothless city council mask resolution proves that even a pandemic can't compel New Albany’s Democrats to actually GOVERN.

Following is a letter written to city council members yesterday by Kate Caufield.

---

Good afternoon, New Albany city council members!

I'm writing today to urge you to adopt a mask ordinance for the City of New Albany, when indoors or in areas where social distancing cannot be observed.

We are in a pandemic.

There are some things we know for sure about COVID-19, regardless of our personal views as to the politics of a virus (viruses aren't political and don't much care whether you attribute their existence to US politics or not, and are just happy to have a host.) We know that there are several risk factors that cause citizens to become infected more easily, more severely, and with higher mortality rates than others.

These risk factors include:

• Age
• Obesity
• Heart Conditions
• Kidney Conditions
• Type 2 Diabetes
• COPD
• Anyone immuno-compromised (cancer, etc)
• Smoking
• Asthma
• Type 1 Diabetes
• Autoimmune disorders

Source: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/need-extra-precautions/people-with-medical-conditions.html

There are many people that don't believe they are at increased risk, or that the higher risk only includes other people, but not them.

The truth is, those most at risk of the worst effects of COVID-19 aren't a small percentage of our city's residents.

34.8% of New Albanians are over 50. 
https://www.towncharts.com/Indiana/Demographics/New-Albany-city-IN-Demographics-data.html

31.4% of Hoosiers are obese, making us the 8th most obese state in the nation. https://www.newsandtribune.com/news/clark_county/indiana-s-obesity-ranking-is-8th-among-50-states/article_4eda5a8a-c816-5ca7-ba84-396cd34a2407.html

12.9% of Hoosiers have a diabetes diagnosis. 
http://main.diabetes.org/dorg/PDFs/Advocacy/burden-of-diabetes/indiana.pdf

35.2% of adults in Indiana have high blood pressure. 
https://thestacker.com/stories/4150/states-populations-most-vulnerable-covid-19

7% of the US population suffers from some autoimmune disorder. https://www.gene.com/stories/autoimmune-disease-101

21.8% of Hoosiers smoke. 
https://truthinitiative.org/research-resources/smoking-region/tobacco-use-indiana-2019

10% of Hoosiers have asthma.
https://www.cdc.gov/asthma/most_recent_data_states.htm

While I can't extrapolate the true percentage of Americans, Hoosiers, or New Albanians who are at risk, it is not a small amount and at the most cursory of glances is 30% plus.

30%+ plus of New Albanians are high risk for COVID-19.

Because of this, I am asking that we come together as a city and show empathy, compassion, and goodwill towards each other, by wearing a mask. I had certainly hoped that we could do so on our own. However, a walk through the grocery store, hardware store, or department store shows that selfishness abounds. 

Indeed, this past weekend, parents organized a social event for their children that brought in 160+ teenagers without masks and without social distancing, and with no regard to others' health- not to mention those of their families who may fall into that 30% plus with an increased risk from the virus.

Are masks effective in helping prevent COVID-19? The answer is YES. Please see this study from the University of California at San Francisco. This article provides links to several studies: https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2020/06/417906/still-confused-about-masks-heres-science-behind-how-face-masks-prevent

If a western institute of learning isn't worth your perusal, please consider this from the Mayo Clinic. MASKS ARE EFFECTIVE. 
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/coronavirus/in-depth/coronavirus-mask/art-20485449

In closing, I've provided evidence that the risk for New Albany residents is substantially higher than it appears, due to the enhanced risk factors above. 

Additionally, I've also provided evidence that masks DO WORK in the fight against COVID. Please do the right thing -- not the selfish or political thing, the RIGHT thing -- and pass a mandatory mask mandate for New Albany when one is inside or cannot social distance outside.

There's nothing wrong with adding language that calls for review at each City Council meeting, either, as we learn more.

Thank you.

Kate Caufield

Pandemically speaking, a mask ordinance is NECESSARY in NA, rather than a non-binding resolution. Democrats can do it, if they choose.

The COVID-19 pandemic is a public health issue, but because "public" means all of us and not merely some, the pandemic's ramifications affect the entire community.

Inevitably, those measures required to deal with a public health crisis of this magnitude must emanate from government as the only conceivable arbiter of the maximum protection for all citizens, not just some.

Yes, I know; public health has become political during the pandemic.

Of course it has. 

Politics is the art and practice of defining power, accumulating power and distributing power. This power is required to make sense of coordinated responses to the pandemic, and we have seen a variety of examples as how it is to be used, or not used, in this escalating situation.

There is a consensus among those trained to consider such matters that masks, while imperfect, are one simple way of restricting the transmission of the coronavirus, along with proper hygiene and social distancing.

Is simple persuasion enough to increase the proportion of purported adults wearing masks, or is something more required?

Unfortunately, no, not alone, although persuasion ultimately is best.

It is my position that New Albany's civic power structure -- ideally bipartisan, but we'll take progress any way we can -- must extract political capital from its seldom-opened wallet and spend it now, when it matters most, in an effort to mandate what simple persuasion doesn't seem to be achieving.

Democrats control the executive and legislative branches of government in New Albany, with a mayor and five council persons. That's a veto-proof majority. Democratic party power in the city is at its highest level in my lifetime.

From the redevelopment commission down to the newest employee at the street department, the vast majority of appointments and sinecures have been the result of Democratic Party patronage. None of the elected officials will be seeking re-election until 2023, and the mayor's success last year in achieving a third consecutive term while increasing his margin of victory gives him a level of power that approaches the zenith of what's ever been witnessed in this city.

Isn't it time to use some of this power?

If this power isn't to be deployed as a means of alleviating risk even to a small degree during the public health crisis of an unprecedented pandemic, when exactly is the right time to consider deploying it?

Concurrently, resolutions are piffle. Anything is better than nothing, and in our form of municipal governance, city council resolutions count for nothing, perhaps even less than nothing.

They're mere statements of intent, required here and there for legal reasons, but otherwise toothless. The coronavirus can be counted upon not to read whatever toothless resolutions this or any other city council authors.

Democrats -- c'mon, really? In political terms, this is a gift. It cannot be about waiting on a Republican governor to mandate masks statewide. It needs to be about illustrating what must be done statewide, doing it locally, and making a head start in our own city.

You have the council votes. Wait ... you DO have the council votes, don't you?

Please tell me that the Democratic Party is united on the topic of a rational, sensible response to a public health crisis, especially when the irrational, insensible response by the Trumpians is final verification of the GOP's fondness for death cults.

Talk of a resolution has been an understandable trial balloon, and a reconnoitering of the perimeter. Good work. Now ditch it, and let's get the ordinance we need for the problem we have -- and yes --  undertake to enforce it.

Even if the enforcement is ineffectual, when it comes to a pandemic something is better than nothing in terms of a response. You can do this. Really.

Here's an article from today's IndyStar, detailing the ways we're losing ground to the coronavirus statewide.

 ... One interim measure many public health experts would like to see is a statewide mask mandate.

Get the Coronavirus Watch newsletter in your inbox.
Updates on how the coronavirus is affecting your community and the nation

Four counties, including Marion, and two cities already have put such a measure in place. Increasingly evidence has shown that masks may help prevent the spread of the virus, just as data once attested to the wisdom of wearing a seat belt.

Many other states, including some led by Republican governors, already have taken this step. Two weeks ago Holcomb said he believed that Hoosiers would do the right thing, so rather than mandating masks, he unveiled a public service awareness campaign #MaskUpHoosiers, which encourages them to do so.

But many public health experts say they support a stronger message.

“A lot of times these public health mandates are needed,” said Shandy Dearth, director of the undergraduate epidemiology program at Indiana University’s Fairbanks School of Public Health. “Now is really the time to take more public health action to keep those numbers lower so we don’t have a strain on the public health system.”

Our position on last weekend's proms, COVID, and YOUR malignant narcissism.

Photo credit: Ethan Johnson.

By means of explanation, the Floyd County Health Department commented today.

---

Prom Event at The Grand

July 14 2020

"The Floyd County Health Department has been made aware of a dance event held on July 10, 2020 at The Grand in New Albany Indiana that was attended by approximately 200 juniors and seniors from New Albany High School. This event was not sanctioned by New Albany High School. The number of attendees are within limits set forth by Governor Holcomb. However, news photos clearly show the lack of social distancing and use of face masks by the participants.

"Due to the recent Increase in Covld-19 cases in Floyd County, the Floyd County Health Department recommends that everyone wear masks and practice social distancing. If you attended the event at The Grand and develop symptoms of Covld-19 please contact the Floyd County Health Department for testing at 812-948-4726."

---

Facebook link here.

I'm not shaming the kids. That would be a cop-out. They're merely following the breathtakingly bad examples set by their elders.

COVID-19 is the most significant public health crisis in my lifetime, and what's the response?

Parents who refuse to parent.

Elected officials who refuse to govern.

Purported adults who refuse to think.

As always, lots of talk about freedoms, but crickets chirp when the subject shifts to responsibility. I suppose it makes perfect sense if you're an adherent to the notion of "survival of the fittest," except we're not the animal kingdom in a wilderness setting.

Human civilization itself is testament to our communal and collective capabilities. Stripping away these layers painstakingly built over centuries so that robber baron capitalists can make even more money is the ultimate expression of anti-social behavior, and yet this is what we've chosen to venerate: selfishness, greed, narcissism, materialism, ignorance.

But it isn't your willingness to dismiss science and risk your own life (although the fact that you're not making recreational jumps off tall buildings leads me to believe you still accept the laws of gravity) that bothers me, it's the narcissism -- your eagerness to drag the rest of us down with you.

As an atheist, I'm having a hard time understanding how Jesus justified this attitude; then again, the Bible was written long ago, prior to scientific knowledge as we know it now. Karma and an overview of how diseases are transmitted combine to restrain me from throwing my hands into the air and saying fine, harm yourself. That's because in harming yourself in an epidemiological sense, you're putting others at risk.

And because it's all about YOU, we're supposed to accept your gracious gift of willful ignorance with good humor?

Go ahead. Growl and scream; curse the libtards; reference FOX news or a meme written by a bot in one of the Stans; display your penis-enhancement firearms, rev your engines; and tell me again how it's just the flu.

Thing is, COVID isn't paying attention to any of your empty-headed theatrics. At long last we have a role model for perfect impartiality, without bias or partisan politics.

And it's a virus.

I hope none of the kids become ill.

---

See also this:

Typically toothless city council mask resolution proves that even a pandemic can't compel New Albany’s Democrats to actually GOVERN.

"As you address “systemic racism” in Louisville look at pollution in Black neighborhoods and the institutions that profit from it."

Photo credit goes to J. Tyler Franklin, at WFPL's 2019 series on toxic air pollution in Louisville.

You can almost hear the rejoinder: "Well, if it's dangerous, move ... but not into OUR neighborhood, of course."

Pollution in Black neighborhoods part of Louisville's systemic racism, by John Hans Gilderbloom, Gregory D. Squires, Robert P. Friedland and Dwan Turner (Courier Journal)

Thousands of Black and white protesters got a taste recently of what it is like to feel the agony of being gassed by the police. It was painful, sickening and scary.

But citizens in western Louisville are regularly “gassed,” causing long-term health problems. The mayor’s own office admits this truth, with people dying an average of 10 years earlier in western Louisville compared to the rest of the city. In some neighborhoods, the life span is less than in war-torn Iraq according to Louisville’s Health Department.

In other words, 60,000 folks (enough to fill Cardinal Stadium) are dying prematurely and most of them are African Americans. As you address “systemic racism” in Louisville look at pollution in Black neighborhoods and the institutions that profit from it. Western Louisville’s air, water and soil are so toxic and rank among the worst of any American city. It is unlivable for a modern American neighborhood ...

snip

The calls for greater equity also means cleaning up the air, water and soil. Poor people needlessly suffer more here than the same low-income people in West Coast cites. If we adopted the same tough, environmental regulations as our West Coast counterparts, western Louisville would surely bloom.

The unfairness between black and white neighborhoods is stark and vivid. As the great urbanist, Jane Jacobs, once said: "everyone hungers for a first class neighborhood for both pride and dignity ... nobody wants a second class neighborhood." First class neighborhoods are safe, healthy, sustainable, and prosperous. It is a human right, an American right.

LIVE TO EAT: Those new clothes you're wearing, well, they're a tad threadbare. That's regrettable.

I was working on this post when a notice from my former business popped up on social media feeds.

Good for them.

Pints&union will return next Tuesday, June 9. In exactly what format is, as yet, unknown.

I know it's frivolous to be writing much of anything without acknowledging the Black Lives Matter protests taking place in Louisville, just a few miles from my house. To me they're entirely justified protests, and government's response has been horrendous. Mayor Greg Fischer is underwater, and should resign.

This said, it has been utterly fascinating to see which local food service operators have spoken up about the protests -- during which admired BBQ chef David McAtee was killed by police -- and which have continued hawking their wares on the street corner as though nothing important was occurring, just as they were doing following the pandemic reopening period, as though science had been a ghastly imposition the previous months.

By the way, it may surprise you to learn that COVID-19 did not agree to take a holiday amid the unrest.

Yes, there is a considerable schism within the ranks of local restaurateurs. It was there before, albeit more hidden than not, and kept in check by commonalities and shared experiences. There always were narcissists on one-side and the public minded on another; the coronavirus then pulled back the curtain, and now protests for simple human injustice have sealed the deal.

And yet, in spite of it all, I retain a certain loyalty to the segment, if not some of the less defensible bad actors populating it. I'm not "outing" anyone; they've outed themselves, and I'm confident that lots of folks who "get it" can "see it" clearly without me pointing.

However, speaking for myself alone, it's just not going to be possible for me to be close with some of them any longer. It's going to be difficult for me to patronize them. I intend to keep it to myself, but some of the shrillness and superstition masquerading as public health (and justice for all) have been repugnant.

History sometimes offers us the chance to stand up and be counted. Some restaurateurs are seizing this moment, others not so much. I wish there weren't a scorecard now, but it's there. I can't NOT look at it.

My friend and boss Joe Phillips is on the right side of history.

And here:

Why some restaurants are keeping their doors closed in states that have reopened, despite backlash, by Ashlie Stevens (Salon)

“I have a huge problem with people choosing profit over people. And I would rather go bankrupt"

At Pints & Union, a pub in New Albany, Ind., a skeleton crew readies for a rush of Saturday evening to-go orders. Save the sounds of that kitchen prep, it doesn't feel much like a restaurant anymore. The smell of beer has been replaced by the smell of bleach, while the wooden booths have long been sanitized and subsequently covered in plastic. Occasionally, a pedestrian tries to open the bright red front door —rattling it against its navy frame — but it's been locked for weeks.

Takeout orders are now called into the restaurant and paid for via phone; once they are ready and the customer is outside, only then is the door briefly opened by a masked and gloved employee who places the carryout bag on a small table nearby to be retrieved.

According to owner Joe Phillips, this is the way Pints & Union is going to operate for the foreseeable future as a way to prevent the continued spread of the novel coronavirus. This is despite the fact that Indiana Governor Eric Holcomb cleared all restaurants in the state (save those in three "hotspot" counties: Marion, Lake, and Cass) to open at 50% capacity as of May 4.

"There's a lack of testing in southern Indiana," Phillips said. "There's only one place you can get tested locally — it's the health department — and it's only open on Saturdays from 11 to 1, and you have to have symptoms. So no one is getting tested."

However, in late March, the chief medical officer at Baptist Health in New Albany called Floyd County, in which the city is located, a "hotspot for the coronavirus" after over 20 people tested positive.

The amount of unknowns about the virus and its spread is, Phillips said, his largest deterrent against reopening.

"I have a huge problem with people choosing profit over people," Phillips said. "And I would rather go bankrupt."

How's the city budget faring? It's the GREEN MOUSE with NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 10 April.

Is the city of New Albany maintaining full feather-bedded municipal employment during the pandemic shutdown?

As noted often in the past, the city's budget has ballooned during the Gahan tenure, with the result being a sort of ongoing Ponzi scheme to keep budgetary snapshots in alignment for the purpose of keeping the state's regulatory eyes safely averted.

But now ...

Effects of pandemic will slam state, local tax receipts, by Lindsey Erdody and Samm Quinn (Indianapolis Business Journal)

Indiana state and local governments are set to lose tens of millions of dollars in tax revenue—maybe hundreds of millions—as the COVID-19 pandemic closes restaurants, stores and casinos and companies begin laying off workers.

The drop in sales, income and gambling tax revenue could wreak havoc on government budgets, first at the state level and later for cities and counties, just as the demand for government assistance like Medicaid is expected to ramp up.

And it’s too soon to know just how bad the fiscal hit will be.

“Obviously, we’re in uncharted territory here,” said Chris Watts, president of the Indiana Fiscal Policy Institute, which tracks state tax and budget issues ...

Very little about Mayor Jeff Gahan's style of governance is genuinely transparent, making this the perfect time for him to hunker with the inner circle to run the city without interference from elected officials.

Noting that a full-time communications director still is receiving paychecks (why?), Gahan has chosen to issue his latest "state of the city" message via the city clerk's council cancellation notice, in an e-mail with limited range but an obvious power hoarder's intent.

Due to the continuing public health emergency, Governor Holcomb's Executive Orders 20-04 and 20-09, as well as guidance from Indiana's Public Access Counselor, the New Albany Common Council meeting regularly scheduled for April 16th, 2020 is cancelled.

Council President Bob Caesar reports that he has been in contact with city officials regarding any needs they may have. The New Albany Police and Fire Departments state that they are in good shape and have no immediate needs requiring council attention at this time. The Controller likewise conveyed that the city's finances are in good condition.

The Council is able to meet if the need arises, but will continue to limit meetings during this public health emergency as public access is diminished.

"Rosie, you're all right."

Yes, the usual suspects vouch for themselves, without the slightest measure of verification from citizens, journalists or those crickets chirping from the bowels of the Reisz Mahal.

Caesar remains as unspeakably dull as a bowel of chilled steel-cut oats, but he -- and his fellow sycophantic DemoDisneyDixiecrats -- might take a few minutes from quarantine time to ponder the way Gahan quickly will shift the blame for the budgetary pain from himself to them once the time for reckoning arrives.

Thus far during these pandemic weeks, principled dissent has been hard to find in Nawbanian political circles with a notable and laudable exception, this being newly elected 5th district councilman Joshua Turner.

Once again, Gahan's well-lubricated elites are being lapped by Jeffersonville. The same local left-leaners who pine to become Kentuckians and hop aboard the Andy Beshear Express might not be able to appreciate the irony of being better off if their mayor was Mike Moore, a Republican.

The following appeared on CM Turner's Facebook "council account."

City Council President Bob Caesar has decided to cancel our City Council meeting for Thursday 16 April 2020. It is disingenuous to twist the Governor's Order to stop meetings. In reality, it is the opposite, his Order has enabled to carry on meetings electronically.

This is the third city council meeting that has been cancelled. Jeffersonville, Clarksville, Floyd County, Greenville, and even New Albany Redevelopment Commission have all had virtual meetings set up. I even had a Zoom meeting with constituents and members of Floyd County EMA last Saturday.

Today, I feel the need to talk about Transparency.

Today, transparency is easier and more accessible than ever before, for most of us we can even enjoy it from the comfort of our own homes. I believe transparency in times of crisis is one of our most vital missions. Keeping the people informed and safe should be at the top of all our agendas.

Transparency equals trust.

We need to be able to trust that our city officials will be accessible to the public now more than ever. We can continue with our regularly scheduled meetings not only as a way to keep the flow of information going but as a show of strength and solidarity that we can work together.

Non-transparent behavior can instill a sense of confusion in our community.

• By leaving us in darkness.
• By ignoring our voices.
• By choosing who wins and who loses behind closed doors without public input.

Now is time to understand exactly how important transparency is and how it can affect us on the local level if we are left unprepared.

As you all know there were several items that I requested and items that are coming before the council that need to be discussed all of which are below. All which President Caesar feels are unworthy of having a meeting to discuss.

1. I would like to have both the police and fire chiefs present to:

• a. Give a report to the council about their department’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic, including any impact on their budget.
• b. Detail plans for ensuring the ongoing readiness of both departments and for protecting the health and safety of officers and firefighters. Indianapolis PD is being hit hard but the pandemic.
• c. Answer questions from the council.

2. I would like to have the controller present to provide a report on the budget implications of the pandemic, including additional costs and anticipated revenue issues. In addition, I would like for the controller to answer questions from the council.

3. Third reading for appropriation of riverboat funds to Catalyst Rescue Mission

4. The annual TIF report which was approved by Redevelopment over their Zoom meeting Tuesday.

These four items are essential. The legislative and fiscal body of New Albany meeting regularly is essential. (Not meeting) is unacceptable.

COVID and COUNCIL -- or, GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 3 April.

One thing's for sure: There couldn't be any better time to be an agoraphobiac than a period defined by social distancing.

In other news, this week Mayor Jeff Gahan redefined the terms of pandemic-era engagement for the city's parks department, and also campaigned for masking.

And this:

After meeting with himself by fax, Gahan suspends curbside street sweeping until further notice.

ASK THE BORED (IN EXILE): It appears that street sweeping is suspended through April 7, although it should be eliminated altogether.

Having granted the mayor's request for wide-ranging emergency powers, city council finds itself mostly, well, dismissed. At least one council member finds this situation disconcerting. Take it away, Josh Turner (5th district).

---

In regards to the city council meeting being cancelled this upcoming Monday.

While I acknowledge the authority of New Albany City Council President Bob Caesar to cancel the council meeting that was scheduled for next Monday, I respectfully disagree with his decision and worry about the precedent it may set.

Thanks to Gov. Eric Holcomb’s executive order, we can meet electronically (as we did on the 27th), and, in the interest of transparency and accountability, we should take advantage of that ability.

As a result of Mr. Caesar’s decision to cancel, the third reading of the ordinance to appropriate riverboat funds to Catalyst Rescue Mission will be delayed. Mr. Caesar may not consider providing for homeless people to be essential business, but I do. Under the circumstances, I believe it is critical to the public health of not only our city, but to the public health of the entire the region. The pandemic has created significant, unforeseen expenses. Catalyst is on the front lines of the pandemic, helping some of the most vulnerable people in our community. 

Among other expenses, they have rented tents so they can separate their population according to health department guidelines. They are doing everything they can to help flatten the curve, and supporting their efforts should be a council priority.

For the next regularly scheduled council meeting, on April 16, I have requested that the following ESSENTIAL items be placed on the agenda.

1. I would like to have both the police and fire chiefs present to:

• a. Give a report to the council about their department’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic, including any impact on their budget.
• b. Detail plans for ensuring the ongoing readiness of both departments and for protecting the health and safety of officers and firefighters. My concern stems in part from what is happening in Indianapolis.
• c. Answer questions from the council.

2. I would like to have the controller present to provide a report on the budget implications of the pandemic, including additional costs and anticipated revenue issues. Evansville just cut its budget by $2.8 million, and we need to understand where we are and start planning appropriately. In addition, I would like for the controller to answer questions from the council.