These last two Gahan campaign mailers are ridiculous.

Free furnaces? Airbag bullying? Just two more outrageous Gahan mailers, one a promise and the other a threat, and ...

What was that?

Oh, right.

Well, he DOES pretend to be Santa Claus and he probably WISHES his hand could come out of the dashboard and wag a finger at us.

Or maybe it's the same graphics company doing ALL the mailers.

Gahan can't even tell the truth about Warro the K-9 dog's tenure. Seems a desperate Slick Jeffie will say ANYTHING to get re-elected.

When you see the mailer, you're supposed to think that our tireless leader Deaf Gahan has just now hit the road, scoured the nation's kennels, and personally enticed Warro to New Albany to battle crime -- not that we have crime, mind you, but just in case a pre-election photo-op is needed.

But what we're really seeing is a bit of last-second desperation. To date in this year's mayoral race, Gahan has ducked and covered on neighborhood crime, but somehow, neighbors keep talking about it.

Consequently, it's time for Team Gahan to convert a few thousand more in Indy special interest campaign finance donations to doing the impossible and inventing a time machine to take us all the way back to April 7, 2016, and this feverish canine bromide at the City Hall propaganda commissariat's web site.

Gahan's handlers must think we're too stupid to do a Google search. Even Warro knows that dog won't hunt.

After all, inferior leadership isn't the K-9 officer's fault.

The deal-killing Phipps postcard: "Two Way Streets, where feasible."

Greg Phipps (D) is the incumbent 3rd district councilman. His challenger is Dale Bagshaw (R), who was his party's nominee for mayor in 2011.

Dale was reading a few weeks ago when I expressed support for those council candidates openly supporting two-way streets.

For what it’s worth, and speaking only for myself, my votes in the forthcoming election will go to those city council candidates who have publicly advocated for two way streets. First-time Republican at-large candidate Al Knable is one, along with Democratic incumbents John Gonder (at large) and Greg Phipps (my own 3rd district).

Since then, John has circulated a questionnaire omitting any explicit mention of two-way streets (I've since learned that the omission was a printing error and was rectified) and now there's this card of Greg's, as harvested from its resting place on an Elm Street sidewalk.

Let's hope Al remains on board.

Dale knew what I'd written, and in spite of it, he still came to my door two nights ago while walking the neighborhood. We stood on the porch for twenty-five minutes, talking local issues, among them two-way streets. Dale said that while streets must remain accessible to commerce, he has started to see the merits of complete streets.

That's demonstrable forward movement on Dale's part, and as we all learned in childhood, the opposite of forward is backward, bringing us to the underlined passage on Greg's card. Time and again, Greg has stated publicly that he'd stake his political career on two-way streets.

Now, with an election looming, he has affixed a disclaimer: "Where feasible."

One candidate is moving forward, openly and honestly, and the other backward in a Gahan-induced pea soup fog.

In July, I attended a meeting of the East Spring Street Neighborhood Association, during which Greg Roberts indicated there would be an ESNA candidate forum prior to the election. Supposedly the candidates all would have a chance to be heard, but the forum never took place, and when I asked Greg Phipps about it last week via Fb message, he didn't recall such an event ever being mentioned even though he was present at the same meeting I attended.

Dale told me that he asked Greg if the two of them might arrange a 3rd district candidate forum, only to have the idea dismissed out of hand by the incumbent. When I asked Greg about this, the conversation abruptly ended.

Returning to my words in September:

Yes, at times I’ve been disappointed with both Gonder and Phipps. However, I believe they’ve been sullied and bullied by Jeff Gahan’s egotistical toxicity and the formless intellectual vacancy of the reigning Democratic Party leadership, and are deserving of another chance and another dance with a mayor who, at long last, actually “gets it,” which I do.

Dear reader, if you were me, what would you do?

A house divided against itself cannot stand, and intellectual honesty still matters to me. It matters more than just about anything else, but there's also consistency, transparency, and simple decency. Throughout my campaign, I've continued to stress the dignity of conscience, and I've parsed every possible combination of these factors in search of a way that might allow me to be cognizant of Greg's position.

But: Occam's Razor.

Perhaps I'm trying to hard, and the simplest answer is the best.

Perhaps conscience, transparency and intellectual honesty are my issues, not theirs, and what I'm seeing in this town right now -- paranoia, fear and cowardice foremost among them -- is exactly as it appears.

Perhaps Team Gahan has poisoned this civic well so thoroughly that Kool-Aid flows from every tap, into every overflowing storm water receptacle.

By all rights, Greg Phipps and I should be comrades in arms. But it's Dale Bagshaw who came to my house and asked for my vote. It's Dale, not Greg, who has listened, conversed and interacted.

My vote isn't about whether I like Greg and Dale, because I like them both. It's about sleepless nights, of which I've experienced a few since 2011, when I voted for Jeff Gahan. It's a mistake I won't ever repeat, and right now, a vote for Greg Phipps is a vote for Jeff Gahan, irrespective of bullying, moon phases, Kool-Aid, spin the bottle or any other extraneous excuses I might deploy to alter fundamental reality.

I simply can't do that, and whether it hurts my mayoral campaign or helps it by saying so publicly matters less to me than being honest. I know Greg and I as yet agree on numerous issues, but in the absence of transparency -- without two-way communications -- we cannot build on what I'm otherwise sure exists. I'm not playing this game any longer. I never was very good at it, anyway.

Dale's got my vote.

Mailer Wars '15: Gahan's card stock grows in inverse proportion to the shrinkage of his ideas.

Because the ultimate in "family-friendly" is when your grandchildren continue to pay for their childhood delights, even when they're grown and have kids of their own.

Jumping the shark: The Gahan mailer I hope we DON'T see.

Maybe for once we'll get lucky.

Mailer Wars '15: Barksdale dares to mention the "d" word.

You have to admire David Barksdale for leading off with a vow to "take downtown revitalization to the next level," not because it provides sufficient substance to inform us which level downtown occupies at present (seemingly fundamental if one seeks to go "next"), but because of the widely reported phenomenon of Don't Talk Downtown.

A. Contrary to old voters' tales, downtown does NOT receive disproportionate financial attention from City Hall. In fact, as I've often noted, revitalization has occurred in SPITE of City Hall, not because of it.

B. When City Hall HAS invested public money downtown, it has tended to be wrong (Doug's Bicentennial Park, Jeff's Main Street beautification), BUT even these boneheaded moves have not represented expenditures equal to the long-term costs of suburbanization.

C. AND New Albany's inner ring suburbs generally are four or less miles from the core, meaning that much of the discussion is moot, anyway.

Barksdale follows with the necessarily italicized "healthy" neighborhoods in all part of the city, and further notes the importance of business friendliness.

One wonders how Barksdale contextualizes business-friendly attitudes with Padgett, Inc., the GOP's chief downtown benefactor, and an entity than both gives and takes away: It's been "friendly" toward some of Barksdale's favored historic preservation causes, while profoundly unfriendly as it  pertains to other helpful measures -- read: street grid reform.

All in all, this mailer is above average for the genre. It's an apt introduction, and the candidate's willingness to lead with downtown revitalization stands out from the pack.

If you're a progressive, who gets the nod: David Barksdale, Shirley Baird ... or none of the above?

Mailer Wars '15: Let's take a closer look at KZ's four platitudes.

Let's look at each in turn.

Better Management: Localism does not factor into it; instead, it's the very same incentive-laden "attract and retain" boilerplate that's written on the back of David Duggins's business cards. You'd think that at some point, the GOP would realize that Beach Mold & Tool and Padgett actually are local businesses. How will KZ compete against the superior incentives available at River Ridge?

Better Neighborhoods: "Enforcing existing codes" is a code phrase itself, meaning "no rental property registration or inspection" -- and yet rental properties remain the crux of so many neighborhood issues. Also, there's nothing to stop neighborhood associations from being created and strengthened now. The truth is there's no grassroots pressure for this to occur. If KZ intends to create these entities, isn't that top-down thinking of the sort we're trying to purge?

Better City: In my estimation, KZ's vow to run City Hall transparently is sincere. He's surely seen how it works from the other side of the wall, being the only Republican on a council dominated by Democrats.

Better Life: Reading the words "an exceptional place to raise our children" reminds me of a weekend discussion about sporting opportunities for young people. Whenever the topic of team sports is raised, the discussion inevitably turns to a collective responsibility on the part of suburbanites to provide "opportunity" to low-income, inner-city children who can't afford team sports. Curiously, it seldom turns to a chat about what we might do to provide economic opportunity overall, period, rather than continuing to regard the one-in-a-million, lottery-winning inner city future NBA star as constituting equitable opportunity.

I'm not grading these mailers, but KZ's second mass communication manages to narrow his platform to four basic points, even if they are vague and generalized. It's probably where he needs to be in terms of agitprop.

For greater substance, I believe you know where to look. Just search "Baylor Mayor" at NAC, make some coffee, and settle in.

Mailer Wars '15: KZ plays it safe and sticks to the platitudes.

Kevin Zurschmiede's opening statement is very safe. It's the small talk with the father of your date while you're waiting for her to come downstairs.

In large measure, the mayoral campaign to date has consisted of the two major party candidates repeating basic mantras.

Jeff Gahan: Look at these photos of the nice gifts I bought for you with YOUR credit card.

Kevin Zurschmiede: I'm not him ... I'm not him ... I'm not him.

Meanwhile, I've tried my hardest to offer substance: On neighborhoods , and localism, and health and safety, and human rights and free speech -- and yes, also on calmed and completed two-way streets.

Consequently, Kevin's challenge is moving beyond the character references and delving into specifics.

For instance, the mayor has had absolutely nothing to say about economic development or jobs during his reign. This is easy to explain: What development the local economy has undertaken has been in spite of Gahan, not because of him -- and jobs comprise a category defined primarily by persistent hemorrhaging, as with Pillsbury, StemWood and Indatus.  

Yes, Jeff, I know: Beach Mold & Tool is expanding -- and the company thinks so highly of your contribution to this expansion that it is hosting the GOP chili cook-off next week.

When there's nothing to say, you tend to change the subject, hence Gahan's "Elvis meets PT Barnum at Walt Disney's penthouse suite" persona.

I've campaigned on a platform of de-emphasizing economic development boilerplate in a time of River Ridge envy, turning attention to the localization of the economy, and devoting our economic development efforts to useful infrastructure improvements toward this end, as with fiber optic communications and two-way streets.

Kevin has not offered specifics, and worse still, he possesses his own 800-lb gorilla: Padgett, an old-school industrial entity which does not comprehend new-school economic development, and in fact has advocated actively against measures to achieve it (those pesky two-way streets, again).

As a candidate, I'm delighted to be the only one of three to so much as mention economic development as a civic priority, and to both articulate and define a future agenda.

As a voter, I find it curious that both major parties are playing prevent defense, but please, be my guest.

In closing, as with the DemoDixieDisneycrats, the GOP appears to be willing to embrace the attack, although even with this, the Republicans are being reactive to Gahan's ludicrous claims.

Where's the beef?

Mailer Wars '15: An unbalanced Gahan leads off with budgetary tall tales.

Jeff Gahan's first mailer is out, and it isn't balanced.

More tellingly, the DemoDixieDisneycratic Party's opening broadside is an attack on the Republican. It's likely to be the ongoing pattern, with Gahan aiming for the warm and fuzzy, while Adam Dickey brandishes the stiletto.

Just remember that Party Politics 101 is the primary reason for considering alternatives.

Previously we recalled Jeff Gahan's many promises from 2011. Curiously, among them was NOT a vow to fund $30 million in "quality of life" projects with TIF-backed bonds.

Shattered 2011 Gahan campaign promises, Part 1: The "good jobs" mayor!

Shattered 2011 Gahan campaign promises, Part 2: The "good education" mayor!

Shattered 2011 Gahan campaign promises, Part 3: The "let's work together" mayor!

NAC's Jeff Gillenwater explains.

Jeff Gahan likes to say that he has balanced the budget because it makes it sound as though he's somehow managed to run the city more efficiently. He's not as keen to put real numbers to that claim, though, for good reason.

As provided by the Department of Local Government Finance, the state agency that oversees local budgets, here are those actual numbers-- New Albany's annual budgets from each of the past few years. Gahan took office in 2012.

2011 - $14,665,386
2012 - $18,738,682
2013 - $20,084,675
2014 - $22,600,514
2015 - $24,300,565
2016 - Gahan is currently asking the City Council for another increase

Understandably given the large annual spending increases, the district tax rate has increased under Gahan each year as well.

Even with city government spending approximately $10,000,000 more per year now than it did before Gahan took over, those tax increases did not cover his tens of millions of dollars of additional spending on special and often seasonal projects like the aquatics center. Several of those projects, over $30 million, were financed with Tax Increment backed bonds, borrowed at interest against projected future tax revenues for the next 20 years. Many New Albanians 45 or older will likely be retired or perhaps even deceased before taxpayers manage to pay off just a single Gahan term as mayor.

And, as Gahan himself says, he's not done yet.

There's little reason to believe a second term would be differently focused, more efficient and practical, or more open and inclusive. As Roger Baylor says, transparency should not be a last resort. We shouldn't be reading about million dollar golf course deals months after the fact but we are. If, like many New Albanians, you're not comfortable with a mayor who tells you he's "balanced" the budget when he's substantially increased it or that he's paid off debt from previous administrations when he's taken on much more for comparatively frivolous projects and corporate subsidies, please vote accordingly.

Quality of life begins with honest communication, something that just doesn't figure in Jeff Gahan's accounting.