Final thoughts on fireworks: Score Slick Jeffie's veto as a slight boost for the GOP.

In New Albany, the Democratic Party's intellectually exhausted bait 'n' switch brand of politics is making some mighty strange bedfellows out in the hoods.

It reminds me of the old socialist-realist script in the Soviet Union's cinema and literature: Boy meets tractor; boy falls in love with tractor; boy and tractor live happily ever after.

Back here in anchor-laden New Gahania, non-ironic dishonesty on the part of the ruling elite has accomplished one noteworthy feat of erasure: tractors no longer are needed. Instead, we have mirrors -- cracked rear view mirrors, to be sure, but it doesn't stop the Dickeyites from admiring their twisted, impotent reflections in the debris.

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The city council's recent vote on a Republican-sponsored fireworks ordinance, which might be described as a cautious attempt to lightly restrict the bedlam of explosive civil liberties celebrations, was bipartisan in both directions.

Two Republicans voted for, one against. Two Democrats for, and two against. And, one independent for, one against. That's about as even a split as can be imagined given the state of our legislative body's usual rigid partisan alignment, and as a result, the measure proved vulnerable to a veto.

Mayor Jeff Gahan's argument against the litmus test of an only slightly restrictive fireworks ordinance was conveyed to the body by police chief Todd Bailey, a reliably pliant spinner of Dear Leader's self-serving party line.

It was yet another matter of such supremely overriding community importance that Gahan couldn't be bothered to attend; in all probability, our Genius of the Flood Plain shuns the council chamber because it gives him flashbacks to those eight long years spent there as a woefully underpaid savior of humanity, before a visit with former (now deceased) East Chicago mayor Robert Pastrick resulted in Gahan learning the real tricks of the patronage trade.

Chief Bailey said fireworks complaints were down this year (if true, it's because most people have given up on any hope of relief) and that enforcement of the ordinance would be a terrible burden.

(As such, it should be noted that there are few if any known instances of the police enforcing existing fireworks regulations, this laxity owing to the ruling Democrats viewing fireworks as example of usefully distracting "circuses" -- "bread" is what Rally's does, after all -- allowing the lower orders to entertain themselves so they won't get involved with questioning the Democratic Party's patronage machine.)

The posturing mayor's hasty "trampling on our God-given right to make noise" laugher was attached cynically and belatedly, only when publicizing his veto, and it most certainly WAS a political expedient on the perennially unimaginative Gahan's part.

I'm guessing this won't help him in electoral terms.

Those New Albanians citing the civil liberties argument in favor of unrestrained fireworks make up two broad groupings: right-leaning libertarians in the suburbs near the fringe area, and apolitical inner-city residents, a majority of them young, and probably a fair number renters.

The suburban libertarians vote, but while they're possessed of a worldview that enables agreement in principle with Gahan's veto, this alone won't change their antipathy toward the mayor in countless other instances.

Meanwhile the majority of inner city neighborhood folks I see and hear detonating fireworks are either youthful and transient, or ignorant of municipal election cycles, although they might turn out for presidential elections. In short, they're unlikely to vote in terms of prevailing demographics.

The most probable POLITICAL outcome of the vetoed fireworks ordinance is a slight boost for Republican candidates on the part of (a) older neighborhood stakeholders, who (b) value order and stability and (c) actually do vote. Just my two cents.

Feel free to disagree.

Look, ma, CM Greg Phipps’ favorite mayor ever vetoed the fireworks ordinance.

As predicted, Mayor Deafley "Slick Jeffie" Gahan announced his veto (sorry, Susie, no capital 'V' on veto) of the city council's recent tepid fireworks ordinance in an insulting and poorly worded post at Payhan's propaganda site.

Weddings, birthdays and holidays ... and the time Gahan bulldozes a homeless encampment?

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I hereby Veto recent action by the city council to ban legal fireworks in New Albany.

The proposed ban would limit the use of fireworks to only 4.5 days (107 hours) per year, without first obtaining a government permit.

The 5-4 split council vote to ban legal fireworks is an intrusion into the private lives of our citizens and could silence the joy of many important occasions, like weddings, birthdays, and holidays.

As written, the proposed ordinance is impossible to enforce and introduces confusion between New Albany police officers and the people of New Albany.

Indiana State Law has already addressed the use of fireworks in IC 22-11-14.

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Previously:

Limiting fireworks is the easy part. Enforcement is New Albany's traditional Achilles heel.

Limiting fireworks is the easy part. Enforcement is New Albany's traditional Achilles heel.

Matt Nash, Greg Phipps, David Barksdale, Al Knable and Scott Blair voted in favor while McLaughlin, Dan Coffey, Bob Caesar and David Aebersold voted against.

A strange council configuration approved a symbolic ordinance that probably will be impossible to enforce; given forceful opposition by the police chief, Deaf Gahan might well veto it anyway.

Meanwhile, within eyesight of my front porch, there are a half-dozen visible and persistent ordinance violations missed weekly when the city works extra hard to enforce just that one ordinance pertaining to blocking the street sweeper.

Welcome to New Albany. It's not an intelligent place, presumably because most of you prefer it that way.

New Albany City Council passes ordinance limiting fireworks, by John Boyle (Bill Hanson's Evangelical Medicine Show)

Vote passed by a 5-4 margin

NEW ALBANY — Citizens of New Albany now have more restrictions regarding when they can shoot off fireworks.

At Thursday's sometimes tense New Albany City Council meeting, council members voted 5-4 in favor of passing an ordinance limiting when fireworks can be used.

The final version of the ordinance, which will be tied in with the current noise ordinance, was identical to that which passed on first and second readings at the Aug. 5 meeting, with an amendment adding two more days to the week after the Fourth of July.

Now, residents of the city can only use consumer fireworks from 5 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. June 29-30, July 1-3, and July 5-11. Fireworks are also allowed from 10 a.m. July 4 to 12:01 a.m. July 5. For New Year's celebrations, fireworks are legal from 10 a.m. Dec. 31 to 1 a.m. Jan 1.

Violations of the ordinance will result in a fine of $150 for the first offense, $300 for the second, and $500 for each thereafter. The ordinance also includes a clause that allows groups and organizations to acquire permits to shoot off fireworks outside of the set time frames.

Discussions of personal liberties took place in the lead up to the vote ...

Fireworks, postponements, and that time last year when he got it right.

Photo credit: Portland (Maine) Press Herald

Owing to heavy rain, New Albany's corporate fireworks were postponed from July 3 to August 6. For excuses to view fireworks on August 6, consult this list. Perhaps the mayor and I can agree that Cara Lott's birthday is the most solid reason of all to blow things up on this later date.

At least two local news outlets reported that today's fireworks were cancelled and postponed. Plainly, this is bad usage. What is it about the meaning of the word "postpone" that throws them?

To cause or arrange for (something) to take place at a time later than that first scheduled.

As I write, the neighborhood amateurs are busy making noise, and there is some consolation in the fact that being waterlogged reduces the likelihood of something catching fire.

In turn, it reminds me that last year about this time, Chris Morris finally encountered a topic he could wrestle successfully to the ground -- and he did.

Amateur fireworks shook his house, scared his dog, and roused his elder bile. Turns out that Tip O'Neill was right, and all politics is local, after all. Morris got it right.

But the irony still resonates.

Let me make precisely the same arguments with regard to the heavy trucks on Spring Street shaking my house, and one-way arterial traffic depressing revitalization in my neighborhood, and the interests of small business being maligned by City Hall's streets timidity, and Morris immediately and instinctively sides with the oppressors.

"What's Padgett supposed to do, Rog -- move?"

That's certainly one option, as is undertaking to fight the fireworks lobby and impose a few basic rules out of considerations of public safety, these being the very same considerations of public safety arguing quite persuasively for a two-way, calmed street grid.

As I said, he got this one right. Now he merely needs to work on his consistency, and we may yet gain a street reform advocate.

MORRIS: It’s time to ban the big boom, by Chris Morris (Clark County Thymes)

... I think some fireworks should remain on the market. I think the big stuff that explodes in the air, over my house, or rattles windows and threatens mankind should be left to the professionals.

The fireworks law in this state needs clarification. Basically, some items need to be banned. I am as patriotic as the next guy, but I don’t have to light explosives near my neighbor’s front door in order to prove that. I know fireworks are big business and generate needed tax revenue for the state, but there has to be a law that is fair to everyone.

That's right: Chris Morris is right ... this time.

Photo credit: Portland (Maine) Press Herald

Chris Morris finally encounters a topic he can wrestle successfully to the ground, and do you want to know why?

Because it's strictly personal.

The fireworks shook his house, scared his dog, and roused his elder bile. Turns out that Tip O'Neill was right, and all politics is local, after all.

But hear this: Let me make precisely the same arguments with regard to the heavy trucks on Spring Street shaking my house, and one-way arterial traffic depressing revitalization in my neighborhood, and the interests of small business being maligned by City Hall's streets timidity, and Chris immediately and instinctively sides with the oppressors.

"What's Padgett supposed to do, Rog -- move?"

That's certainly one option, as is undertaking to fight the fireworks lobby and impose a few basic rules out of considerations of public safety, these being the very same considerations of public safety arguing quite persuasively for a two-way, calmed street grid.

Chris gets this one right.

Now we merely need work on his consistency, and we may yet gain an advocate.

MORRIS: It’s time to ban the big boom, by Chris Morris (Clark County Thymes)

... I think some fireworks should remain on the market. I think the big stuff that explodes in the air, over my house, or rattles windows and threatens mankind should be left to the professionals.

The fireworks law in this state needs clarification. Basically, some items need to be banned. I am as patriotic as the next guy, but I don’t have to light explosives near my neighbor’s front door in order to prove that. I know fireworks are big business and generate needed tax revenue for the state, but there has to be a law that is fair to everyone.

Gahan honors council enforcer Coffey on the Wizard's home turf.

Everyone knows fire works only at dusk, because before night falls, there is too much sunlight and you can't see it. Noticing the font size accorded Jeff Gahan, I made an observation yesterday at Facebook.

Perhaps the mayor will choose this occasion to speak out about the councilman's homophobia.

He hasn't yet, has he? Absolutely clam-like. But it'll be a question I ask him when we debate.

Meanwhile, Coffey -- a selective, top-down social media personage if ever there was one -- himself caught wind of my simple inquiry.

Ah, yes. Jim Croce once referenced a lover's cross, but here in New Albany, it is a loser's cross that we all must bear -- even when he's unopposed.

If I hadn't already committed to a fine evening of food, friends and even a few "fire works" of our own, I might have gone to Coffey's personal park unit (did he keep the key as a souvenir when the restroom was demolished?) and listened to the mayor's remarks, which thus far seem to have gone unremarked and unreported by the usual breathless sycophants on social media.

Readers, did any of you attend?

If so, please give us a report.

July 4 on July 3 was a great success.

They gathered atop New Albany's prize-winning facsimile of an abandoned coastal defense installation to watch the Juice Box Heroes, the Louisville Crashers and the fireworks. The weather was ideal, and it was a huge and well-behaved crowd.

What interests me is that three years ago, when NABC first licensed and worked the July 3 event, our draft beer was outsold roughly 4 - 1 in favor of mass market lager. Last night, the ratio was 2 - 1, which represents obvious shift in the context of a generalized audience. Perhaps good beer really can conquer the world.

The amphitheater could be a very good thing for New Albany. We need only consider how to make it more usable on an everyday basis, as opposed to a "special" time once or twice a year. As last night's event showed, give people a good reason to come to the amphitheater, and the levee is no impediment.

Tonight: Waterfront fireworks with NABC’s Progressive Pints and some bands.

Read all about it here: Tonight: Waterfront fireworks with NABC’s Progressive Pints and some bands

Riverfront Amphitheater tonight: The Crashers, fireworks and NABC's Progressive Pints.

And remember, when it comes time to look for Quality of Life bond issue bonuses, there's the Amphitheater. It wouldn't take all that much ...

The story and beer list are at the NABC web site.

Crashers, fireworks and NABC — Wednesday, July 3 at the Riverfront Amphitheater.

The story and beer list are at the NABC web site.

Fireworks and Idiots who can't think for themselves ... well ...

Apparently Steve Graves has not visited New Albany. I would prefer he does not. After yesterday's conflagration at the recycling complex, few of us are in the mood for NA portraying Damascus this coming Wednesday evening.

For parts of the nation, a fireworks-free Fourth, by Charles Wilson and Steven K. Paulson (Associated Press)

DENVER (AP) — Drought and wildfire fears are snuffing out some Fourth of July festivities this year.

From Utah to Indiana, state and local governments are calling off annual fireworks displays out of fear that a stray rocket could ignite tinder-dry brush and trigger a wildfire. They're also warning residents not to use fireworks, sparklers or Roman candles in backyards ...

... The danger is real: Fireworks were blamed for more than 15,500 blazes and $36 million in property damage in 2010, according to the National Fire Protection Association in Quincy, Mass ...

... Some states are grappling with just how far they can go in issuing bans. New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez said she considers fireworks a risk that can be avoided, but state law allows cities and counties to ban only certain classifications of fireworks and where they can be used. More than half of the state's 33 counties and its largest cities have already imposed restrictions and urged residents to attend organized events instead of setting off their own ...

... Leaders of the fireworks industry, which brought in nearly $1 billion in sales nationally in 2011, question whether firework bans are legal. Steve Graves, executive director of the Indiana Fireworks Association, said people should be given credit for common sense ... "Instead of talking about safety, they decided to treat Hoosiers like they're a bunch of idiots that can't think for themselves," Graves said.